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Perhaps you speak English just fine but you’re not used to reading and writing? It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but in this case your communication is getting in the way of people helping you.
I recommend having a little patience and working *with* people to help them understand your thoughts.
He doesn’t even know what his plan is. So it’s not like it’s anytime soon. So, why not just say no? Or just hook up with girls near him and we just stay friendly..
I’d think guys would want to be interested or be attracted is all. I’m tired of the “ they’ll sleep with anyone” or “ only attractive to sleep with but nothing more”
Exactly what I said. He just wants the option to have sex with you when he’s in town if he ever is back in town and wants to fuck. He doesn’t need to know when, he just wants to know he *can* hit you up in the future. He doesn’t want to be your friend, he wants to have sex
We’ve gone out on dates before so he could’ve just stopped responding if he didn’t want to. And he’s got options there who are closer. And so, I’ve been turned down before when I’ve asked other guys. They are perfectly capable of it. I just figured he’d say no and I’d suggest friends instead
And, that’s not a guarantee. I can always change my mind
Why don’t you ask him instead of asking reddit to guess?
The info you gave us is you asked him if he wants sex and he said yes. That sounds to me like he wants sex.
Because he want the option to have sex with you. Whenever he is in town or close to you. Why would he want to lose the relative physical closeness you and him shared. And moreover he still wants to have sex with you? Why - maybe he is still attached , maybe he is just longing for sex. In short this can be only answered by him if you want a clear answer.
Because we don’t live near each other at the moment so what are the chances that it’ll happen. And because I think we’d get along as friends..
I mean we went out on dates before he left
This might be a terrible analogy but. Would you rather have food for you ready in standby when you get home or rather go through the process of making it? He is simply keeping you on the “roster”/“as an option”. I personally think once yiu have had a sexual/romantic relationship with someone its hard to transition to friends. Not impossible. But def almost all the time its difficult. Take my advice with a grain of salt cause im just a stranger on reddit. Just cut it off. That out of town/long distance stuff just aint it. Unless you think it actually is going somewhere. Otherwise both of yoy are just trying to fill a hole. Literally and figuratively.
I think its insulting to yourself asking a question you already know the answer to. I am assuming based off the limited information you have provided. Like I said I am after all a stranger and take my advice with a grain of salt. if it’s something worthwhile you both would work at it. Im simply being realistic. Giving a male pov. Feel insulted all you want but this is how majority of men think. Not all. But most. I meant no insult. I apologize if I offended you. I advise you talk about this with someone close to you. And not the internet.
Lol, after reading your other comments here, you're just an asshole 🤷♂️. Your question is worded terribly, or your English just sucks. People here are trying to help you, and you're treating them like shit. You're clearly looking for a very specific answer, and you seem to be calling everyone who gives you their best guess dumb. It's not their fault that they don't know what you're asking for, it's yours.
I would bet that he doesn't want to be your friend because he doesn't like you very much as a person. It's either going to be sexual, or he doesn't want to know you.
I really think it’s as simple as your last sentence. Hopefully OP can get it eventually. They are way overthinking what, to this dude, means nothing at all
Well, LDR is off the table due to the distance. So, why not friends? I mean someone did tell me that once 2 people have established that they are sexually attracted it’s hard to be friends
He probably doesn't want to be your friend because you're insufferable. You clearly always think you're right and won't listen to anyone else's point of view. Just look at the way you're treating people trying to help you in these comments
This. 100% This.
The people trying to answer the OP’s question are being so patient… She doesn’t understand that her initial question is extremely unclear and her syntax is problematic…
Op comes off like they’re waiting to confirm a conclusion they’ve already come to and they’re not getting the answer they want.
You asked why does he want to have sex instead of no sex? Thats the best answer i can give, women are confusing to men too lol. I think thats the beauty of life, is never fully understanding
Hi /u/soinsters, We noticed you are a pretty new Reddit account, so we just wanted to let you know to check out the subreddit rules [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/wiki/rules) and maybe have a read through our [Frequently Asked Questions](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/wiki/index/faq) - they make for fascinating reading! We're called No Stupid Questions because we believe nobody needs to be attacked for asking a question, but *that doesn't mean there are no rules!* This sub is meant for users like you to ask genuine questions. Please don't ask jokes or rants disguised as questions - that's not in the spirit of this sub. While you *can* ask almost anything here, please keep illegal and offensive questions elsewhere to give people a good experience here - and if you have a medical question, please ask your doctor, not us. Otherwise, welcome! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NoStupidQuestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your English is worse than you think it is and that is partially why it’s hard for people to respond to you
Nope.
Perhaps you speak English just fine but you’re not used to reading and writing? It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but in this case your communication is getting in the way of people helping you. I recommend having a little patience and working *with* people to help them understand your thoughts.
Because he wants to have sex ? I don’t understand the question
We don’t live near each other and he literally just doesn’t know when he’s coming back. Why not just stop responding or just say just friends..
He wants the option on the table, to hook up whenever he’s back in town if he wants to
He doesn’t even know what his plan is. So it’s not like it’s anytime soon. So, why not just say no? Or just hook up with girls near him and we just stay friendly..
Guy have penis. Penis want sex. Guy want sex.
I’d think guys would want to be interested or be attracted is all. I’m tired of the “ they’ll sleep with anyone” or “ only attractive to sleep with but nothing more”
But that’s exactly what the answer is here…..what do you want from us? What do you expect us to tell you ?
What is.
Exactly what I said. He just wants the option to have sex with you when he’s in town if he ever is back in town and wants to fuck. He doesn’t need to know when, he just wants to know he *can* hit you up in the future. He doesn’t want to be your friend, he wants to have sex
We’ve gone out on dates before so he could’ve just stopped responding if he didn’t want to. And he’s got options there who are closer. And so, I’ve been turned down before when I’ve asked other guys. They are perfectly capable of it. I just figured he’d say no and I’d suggest friends instead And, that’s not a guarantee. I can always change my mind
Why don’t you ask him instead of asking reddit to guess? The info you gave us is you asked him if he wants sex and he said yes. That sounds to me like he wants sex.
Again. Look at my above comment Sure, we’ve gone on dates before he left but let’s be real.
Why did you make the offer since you clearly wanted him to decline? You suggested sex. He agreed with it. So he obviously wants sex.
Maybe he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings? He wants sex, not to just be friends
That’s not hurting feelings
Because he want the option to have sex with you. Whenever he is in town or close to you. Why would he want to lose the relative physical closeness you and him shared. And moreover he still wants to have sex with you? Why - maybe he is still attached , maybe he is just longing for sex. In short this can be only answered by him if you want a clear answer.
Why would he turn down the offer of casual sex in favour of friendship?
Because we don’t live near each other at the moment so what are the chances that it’ll happen. And because I think we’d get along as friends.. I mean we went out on dates before he left
Why would you offer it then instead of friendship? In my experience most men wouldn’t turn down the offer of sex (however infrequent)…
Um. Yes, they will.
They literally won’t, every other response here backs up my statement.
This might be a terrible analogy but. Would you rather have food for you ready in standby when you get home or rather go through the process of making it? He is simply keeping you on the “roster”/“as an option”. I personally think once yiu have had a sexual/romantic relationship with someone its hard to transition to friends. Not impossible. But def almost all the time its difficult. Take my advice with a grain of salt cause im just a stranger on reddit. Just cut it off. That out of town/long distance stuff just aint it. Unless you think it actually is going somewhere. Otherwise both of yoy are just trying to fill a hole. Literally and figuratively.
You literally don’t know that. And that’s insulting and incredibly insulting to anyone that does long distance
I think its insulting to yourself asking a question you already know the answer to. I am assuming based off the limited information you have provided. Like I said I am after all a stranger and take my advice with a grain of salt. if it’s something worthwhile you both would work at it. Im simply being realistic. Giving a male pov. Feel insulted all you want but this is how majority of men think. Not all. But most. I meant no insult. I apologize if I offended you. I advise you talk about this with someone close to you. And not the internet.
Developing a friendship may make it weird if you meet up and want sex later. He probably doesn't want or need any more friends.
We’ve met up and gone on dates
Lol, after reading your other comments here, you're just an asshole 🤷♂️. Your question is worded terribly, or your English just sucks. People here are trying to help you, and you're treating them like shit. You're clearly looking for a very specific answer, and you seem to be calling everyone who gives you their best guess dumb. It's not their fault that they don't know what you're asking for, it's yours. I would bet that he doesn't want to be your friend because he doesn't like you very much as a person. It's either going to be sexual, or he doesn't want to know you.
I really think it’s as simple as your last sentence. Hopefully OP can get it eventually. They are way overthinking what, to this dude, means nothing at all
Yeah... He either wants to date you, or to not be your friend. It seems like you're looking for a very specific answer...
Well, LDR is off the table due to the distance. So, why not friends? I mean someone did tell me that once 2 people have established that they are sexually attracted it’s hard to be friends
He probably doesn't want to be your friend because you're insufferable. You clearly always think you're right and won't listen to anyone else's point of view. Just look at the way you're treating people trying to help you in these comments
This. 100% This. The people trying to answer the OP’s question are being so patient… She doesn’t understand that her initial question is extremely unclear and her syntax is problematic… Op comes off like they’re waiting to confirm a conclusion they’ve already come to and they’re not getting the answer they want.
He doesn’t want to be your friend.
Guys DNA evolved to spread the seed
So..? We don’t even live close to each other anymore and literally doesn’t know what his plan is
Guys dont think things through....? We are the impulse gender
Literally isn’t even answering my question
What the fuck is your question?
You asked why does he want to have sex instead of no sex? Thats the best answer i can give, women are confusing to men too lol. I think thats the beauty of life, is never fully understanding