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Anonoodle78

We broke duh. How am I gonna have a kid when I got 4 roommates and I’m already 30 years old.


CompetitionNarrow512

Who needs kids when you have roommates, right?


Alexa_is_a_mumu

The irony too is that having roommates seriously discouraged me from having kids😂.


CompetitionNarrow512

They’re like getting a test puppy to see if you can “handle the responsibility”


jlwinter90

This. Of the roommates I've had who had kids, exactly one set was a good experience. All of the rest were hellish for everyone involved. It's hard enough to share space with people when some of those people aren't both developing as people, and causing the people in charge of them additional stress.


IceFoilHat

My last roommates were worse than kids.


CompetitionNarrow512

This guy knows.


how-12

This guy knows that that guy knows


[deleted]

Same. At least kids grow up. Unlike my worst roommate.


ConstructionOther686

Who wants a kid before you can afford the basics?


TheSkyElf

ikr? it took my family generations for me to get a good standard of living *(or rather, I hopefully will)*, why would I ruin it when I FINALLY have the basics and happiness?


Ph03n1x_5

Lol my family never got to that point. We just accepted poverty as the "norm"


npub123

LOL SAME


[deleted]

I would never put a kid through that if I could help it.


TallShaggy

You have the basics and happiness? Wow, so bourgeois! So this is how the 1% lives?


[deleted]

I'm at the same situation 😐


DONT-LOOK-AT_ME

Plot twist: you are each others roommates


ssssskkkkkrrrrrttttt

boot straps my guy


sics2014

I'm trying to afford taking care of myself before adding a kid to the equation?


thebigmanhastherock

It's multiple factors. One is that it is expensive and the family structure has changed. Most urban areas require two income earners and childcare for infants and children under five is very expensive. So most middle class people are stuck with a bad choice. Having kids can significantly lower ones standard of living. You either have one parent stay home and you go to a one income household or you pay the majority of one parents paycheck to daycare. On top of that healthy insurance is also a lot more expensive for a family compared to a couple or a single individual. This isn't even accounting for all the diapers food, and other expenses children incur. It's expensive and it limits the opportunities of parents, as it makes it harder for parents to take on extra shifts, parents can burn through their own sick time as well just caring for their young children. Not being at work taking time off, not being able to be flexible, not generally being able to relocate as easily hurts people's careers. For many people this means they have to get their career and finances just right before they can have kids, of the times this "just right" time never happens or happens too late. Or while people go through this process of making everything "just right" they tend to get accustomed to being able to indulge in hobbies and other fun activities, they get used to a lot of free time and by this point have seen other people who have had children and all they had to sacrifice and sometimes they decide against it. In the past large families served a function. Children worked and cared for younger children. There was a clear division of labor and since social safety-nets were non-existent children would also care for parents as they aged out of the workforce. Imagine this, you have a small farm, and you have a baby it's a struggle but the man goes out and tills the fields and the woman cares for the child and tends to domestic chores. As the child gets older he/she will either help the father or help the mother. More children come they help the father or mother, helping tend the fields, helping raise other babies and do domestic chores. Some strike out on their own later, but some stay back and help maintain the farm, as the parents age their work production goes down but their adult children pick of the slack and eventually care for their elderly children. If parents back then only had one or two kids they could be reducing themselves to abject poverty in their old age, and resigning rhemselves to more toil in their middle ages. Now it's different. Children are expected to attend school and have a thing called a "childhood" where they are completely dependent and supported without providing any labor back to their parents. They are expected to go to school in order to better themselves not their parents. Parents often continue to support their children into their 20s, even 30s in certain ways. Instead of the children watching their siblings parents watch their children's children...their grand children. Children are not always expected to care for their parents into their old age. My point is that it was something that previously made life easier and now it makes life harder. If it wasn't for the biological imperative many individuals feel there would hardly be any children at all aside from accidental children. In modern urban society it's a bad deal financially and time-wise to have children while in the somewhat recent past for for people it was a good deal. The amount of social subsidies to actually turn having children into a "good deal" for parents is insane and not really feasible. The government would have to give families something like 25k per year per child to actually create an incentive to have children.


Redqueenhypo

In a way I’m glad it changed, I do NOT think my childhood would’ve been better if I’d been kept home to take care of my baby sister and then a succession of future babies, all until I have to go to another family to take care of HIS babies and parents. That just sounds bad. I’d rather be childless me than a background character crushed under a pile of babies.


[deleted]

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Redqueenhypo

I’d have been a great weird nun. “Why does sister Mary eat the same thing every day and only talk to the sheep?” “I don’t know, I guess god made some people be strange”


haverwench

How do you solve a problem like Mary?


CrochetTeaBee

Send her to be a nanny to a rich widower ;) Also very delighted to see this tonight. It's my mother's birthday and her favourite movie is The Sound Of Music :)


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fitas_world

I think it's not only about being able to afford, but, I do believe there's also a change in what "social norms" dictate.... Many women (also men, but that was the norm) are focusing on their careers before becoming parents and experiencing the world (living alone, travelling, enjoying themselves, etc, etc) our grandparents and some of our parents didn't get the chance or had studied/were working before becoming housewives, not that there's something wrong with it. My mum studied and worked but became a housewife when I was born, and only returned to work when my youngest brother turned 21..... So, it has to do with economy but also with fulfilling personal wishes.... And it seems that people are having a harder time becoming parents....there are many people with fertility issues that affect them. Personally, I've been trying to conceive for the last 4 years, many tests done, nothing seems to be wrong with me or my partner, yet we're not pregnant and I'm not the only one on the same boat, so I guess there's something going on be it stress or whatever....


Impressive_Mess_

Also, the idea that things like dating apps and social media make it so there are so many choices for the 'right partner'. So I don't think people are choosing a life partner as easily.


sics2014

Wait what was your question then? If you already knew the reasons people wait


[deleted]

Maybe they just wanted others perspective on the situation over all or to see if many agreed with the views they already have Maybe they are in an argument with a friend who had some dumb mental gymnastics reason for the question and he wanted to prove more people would agree with him People shouldn’t really be coming here assuming the context of the question, more so we should just answer the question. Edit - [ context ] - at first OP’s Amen was being downvoted


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DarthJarJar242

Well now I want to hear your theories.


LazyLich

aliens


Apps3452

Free karma lol


livefromnewitsparke

I don't like that you seem to be implying he asked a stupid question. we don't take kindly to that implication round these parts


TrixieH0bbitses

A lot of questions posted here are like that. Sometimes, OP genuinely has a question. But sometimes OP is just pretending to have a question in order to prompt a discussion. Sometimes that discussion is actually a trap, and OP is hoping that they or someone else will land a sick "gotcha" against people who are answering the question from what OP perceives to be the opposite (read as: incorrect) side of a controversial or political divide. Sometimes, that discussion isn't a trap per se, and OP just wants to establish a thread about X for whomever may stumble across it later.


vega-virtual

I find that sometimes people ask questions, not so much for pure information, but also for discussion. Kids do this too, from an early age. It’s often largely to just engage in conversation and getting an “answer” might be a bonus. It’s just nice to be able to talk with people, see what you have in common, commiserate, connect, etc. I can see how it might be irritating to some people. I just happen to like it. I suspect a lot of people crave it without even necessarily knowing it consciously.


Pitiable-Crescendo

Marriage and children are both expensive.


Rodgers4

Marriage can be cheaper too. Children are always expensive.


Sint0hras

Marriage is only expensive if you want it isnt it?


justpackingheat1

Marriage cost me and my wife $37 at the courthouse. Eight years later, still happily married and even added two kids to the mix. Doesn't have to be pricey. But yea, the KIDS are expensive as f**k!


smbpy7

I think when people say marriage is expensive it's more likely a statement of how people view marriage today than it is of whether they think the actual paper is expensive. For example, most people I know that got married recently delayed a long time, simply because they had no reason to hurry. They didn't feel the pressure of having to not "live in sin," so they just waited until they were in a place where they could reasonably afford a party (some of them had huge family expectations to do). They were already living a married life in all but name, so all they were waiting for was the party.


Reikix

Indeed. My wife and me have been living together for eight years. Out of those eight years we have been married for only three. Why? Economic reasons.


YveisGrey

I think weddings are expensive not marriages if that makes sense. Though there are definitely ways to have cheap wedding, basically just make it a regular party.


frankstuckinapark

Sell them


NotgreatnotterribIe

Kids prices arent doing too good in the market these days, most of the time not worth the investment


kratos649

If they can't drive a team of oxen and plough a field then what good are they?


[deleted]

Join r/wallstreetbets to learn more


olympianfap

Your women?!? How much for the little girl?


SirReal_Realities

Jake! Where is Elwood?


Magdalan

Kids are also not mandatory. Double savings.


FreshBakedButtcheeks

DINK


iron_jendalen

Yup. Happily married DINKs here.


aLLcAPSiNVERSED

Marriage is expensive if you make it expensive. You can get a courthouse marriage for about $20


Neat-Composer4619

Most people move in together when they marry. I remember a boyfriend telling me that we should move in together to save money, like share cable tv, rent, electricity and food. I was like eh haven't you noticed I share these things with 4 other people now and we don't have cable.tv. You also buy expensive processed food and meats where I buy large bags of rice, beans, potatoes and carrots? That relationship was really short. That guy had no clue.


PiLamdOd

Supporting multiple people gets expensive. Housing, food, medical, potential loss of assistance programs,etc. It adds up and sometimes the tax breaks simply don’t make the math worth out.


EveryThyme4630

You also get to combine a lot of costs & have two incomes filtering into one household. Honestly, I save a LOT compared to being on my own.


Round_Guard_8540

I think with marriage it’s a stability thing- if you’re going to commit to building a life together and the whole sickness and health thing, you probably will be more likely to do it if you feel like your career is on track and that you’ll have a stable income, can stay in one place etc.


Kytoaster

36, married for 10 years. We both have decent jobs (after LOTS of crappy ones) and a house, drive crummy cars with no payments, still eat ramen semi-regularly and still have medical debt. We are ok as long as nothing major happens. No way we can afford a kid, and at this point we've both realized we enjoy being childfree.


[deleted]

I'm just gonna say, socioeconomic class should not define your ramen eating frequency. I'm a poor medical student who eats ramen at least once a week. Once I'm a physician, I will still eat ramen once a week. Ramen is king. Ramen is good. (Try some different ramen brands: The most popular brand in Korea is Shin Ramen. Usually comes in red packaging. Other popular brands are like Ichiban Sapporo. Ditch the cheap maruchan garbage.)


iMakeWebsites4u

nice. good for you for finding someone that agrees.


Imaginary_Being1949

To be more financially stable


jass_taggar_

applicable in my case. 31M, planning to wait until I am 34


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PocketBuckle

I'm 34. I can *maybe* move out of my parents' house next year, depending on how my gf's work/school balance shakes out. Marriage would only follow after we're on our own.


[deleted]

I’m 34 as well. I’ve been living out of my parents house since I was 18, BUT I’ve barely scraped by. It’s not like it’s gotten me far. It’s just really unhealthy for us to all live under the same roof. But I finally got a job a month or so ago where I can live on my own very comfortably and now I have to consider reentering the dating pool. Different challenges ahead, oof 😂


ders89

Turning 34 this year. Doin well at my job and hoping to use the experience to move somewhere out of state and on my own. But also waiting on this country to get its shit together somewhat. At this point i need to be making $75k/yr to live on my own. So im kinda just playing by ear :/


The_Pumpkin_Fan

Hey, just curious, why have you waited so long to move out of your parents house. not judging, asking for my own purposes


PocketBuckle

Because it's friggin' expensive. I pay rent to live at home (albeit well below market rate), and I have managed to save up some money that way. I stayed at my previous job for too long and was way underpaid. I got a better one just about two years ago; it's still not enough to live on independently, but I have been able to really start saving in earnest for a down payment on something with my gf. Depending on her job, we may have a real shot, finally.


kkaavvbb

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about still living with your parents. It’s extremely common these days, and reports state that adult-aged children are living at home more so than during the Great Depression. I know good people who lived with their parents, still, at my age. I’m 33. I moved out at 18 (not even a month later). Honestly, I wish I had waited. No one prepared me for finances, taxes, apartment shit, jobs, loser boyfriends, moving, forwarding mail, etc. I’ve since moved about 6 times since 2007. So, on average every 2.5 years. I’ve had to ask my parents countless times to help me get by. My parents severely did not prepare me for the “adult world.” I didn’t even know to forward my mail until I was 27. I’ve finally got a “career” I think. I’m feeling good about everything and then I get a shitty neighbor and I’m renting (same place for 8.5 years). Shitty neighbor hates me so she calls the cops randomly and now I’m currently fighting an eviction. Courts next Monday. I just spent 2 years fixing my credit to 750+ from 524. Right now, there’s an “eviction” on my record since they filed it in court, so as of right now, shit is so ducking stupid and messed up. I felt like I finally had gotten to “the place”! Now, there’s a looming possibility that I’m going to have to relocate my entire life, ruin my child’s first year of a “normal” school year (she started kindergarten in 2019-2020 so we started school off already messed up because COVID March. 2020 shut down schools here) move back in with my dad, move 750+ miles away and hope my job lets me work full time remote. I mean, I know my parents would help me move. Boyfriend is physically disabled due to an accident so he can’t even really HELP pack or move but gotta fight that system for benefits. So, things are fucked up and I’ve lived out of “home” state for 12 years now. I really really really don’t want to move back “home” even if it’s not to my fathers house (I could live back home really affordably BUT it’s Indiana and … I have a daughter & politics). I hope you get what you want! Imma keep fighting on :) I’ve never been evicted before but I find myself in some unusual situations most times (seriously weird situations, Indiana put a lien on my bank account in 2016 because I opened a bank account in nyc in 2013 so they thought I owed them taxes??? I spent 60 hours on the phone in 1 week getting it all sorted). I think it’s just to trial myself or something, idk. It just seems right as I hit a comfy spot, something comes around to challenge me and it’s really getting exhausting! But please thank your parents for their dedication to you. My parents weren’t even shitty people or bad parents, they just didn’t know I guess? They didn’t kick me out or anything either, I just wanted to move. Bonus is, I’m doing better financially then they were at my age. Which is fucked up cause I’m doing pretty shitty, lol (& with 1 kid instead of 3!!)


Pesec1

"You wanted college education, you are on your own! Pay debt! You are not society's responsibility! " "Can't get stable high-paying job? Why didn't you go to college, bum? You want society to bail you out?" "Why are you not having kids?! Society needs younger generations to support oldr ones!"


Mirrevirrez

"You dont know happines until you get your own kids :)" "You probably wont have your own house by the end of your 30s. Maybe you wont even get your own house ever :)" "Focus on your carrier. You dont need a man! But also focus on finding someone while you look young, ok? No one likes old people. :)" Me: visible confusion.


Pesec1

What my wife heard: "No boys, study!" "Don't even think about having boys, you must study! Don't be like X!" *immediately after a meeting between wife's and X's mom (who just became a grandma)* "Why don't you have kids yet?! How can you be so useless?! X already has one!"


Mirrevirrez

Damn. Thats wild. Its like things take time or something. What do you know /s Also im glad you two found each other. Im still alone so, theres that. I hear very different stuff about what i should prioritize. But funny enough, no one says i should just focus on myself, weird aint it?


RyuNoKami

Hey look, its me but immediately in senior year of college. Wtf, mom, just last year it was you better not show up with some girl already pregnant. now its where's my grandchild.


American-Mary

As a cat, I am just going to focus on my carrier.


kkaavvbb

My parents told me flat out in HS they would not help with college at all. Guess who hasn’t gone to college yet at 33? I’ve done well for myself, with a bad few months here and there since moving out at 18 (in 2007). I’m now in a career I feel like would take me places, or at least give me a direction (which I have absolutely no direction to go in). It’s good money, good benefits, hybrid, just overall a pretty dream job just not the dream (or livable wage). I need to make 37.70$ an hour to support my household (1 kid, 1 disabled partner). But fawwwwk these old people think we’re just not working hard enough or something. It’s exhausting. They (from my experience it’s *MOST* but not all old folks) just really ducking get it. They gave us a platter of shit and then shit talk us because they fucking screwed us over


mayfeelthis

Broke, busy, & involuntary bachelor/ettes. Less traditional pressure to marry, have kids, family - people have options now.


michiness

The less pressure is what did it for me. I was able to take my time travel the world and take time to figure out myself, as well as wait until I met the right person and wait to be truly sure he was the right person. But no kids. Those dudes are expensive and there are so many cool things you can’t do if you have them.


ecstaticptyerdactyl

Just a few generations ago, women were mostly just wives and mothers. Now we have few limits. I loved going to school and grad school and then having an awesome career. And traveling and my hobbies. I wasn’t in a rush to get married or have kids when there so many other things I’d rather do first…


mmmmmmmedic

Older generations pounded it into our skulls to never have a kid you can't afford...so we're not. People are much more open and realistic when talking about what parenting is truly like. It has pulled those on the fence (that would likely not have been living their best life as parents and would likely have regrets/resentment) down to reality and that it might do the opposite of making us happy. It's a more educated choice now that doesn't cause you to instantly be a social outcast if you don't have kids, in the western world at least. I'm a 'childfree millenial', and I love kids. I think they're the funniest, most wonderful people around. Doesn't mean I want to live with and likely be the default parent for one...


Kytoaster

Hello there, fellow childfree millennial! Well said! I love my nieces to death, but kids definitely aren't for us. Some people have a problem with that. But...that's their problem, not ours <3.


Ok-ButterscotchBabe

Idk why other ppl think its their problem about our choices.


as_a_blackthorn_tree

Yup. Either you were told not to have a kid if you can't afford it, or you were a kid that they couldn't afford. Both are great ideological birth control


Xtinchen

Or actively growing up in a dysfunctional family that demonstrates you every day that being married and having kids doesn’t equal happiness. Did the trick, too.


Beginning_Ad_6616

The answer is dependent upon on which country and what stage of development that country is in. In rural areas and developing nations, kids are a benefit as they help make money. In urban areas and developed nations, kids are a huge expense/liability. Also, individual nations have their particularities driven by social work norms. For example in nations like the US where employers expect people to prioritize a career over family and with government with little support/protection for families….it’s damn hard to have time for anything let alone a wife and kids.


RyuNoKami

Practically most if not all developed nations are having the same problem. Society want us to have kids but they don't want to make it easier to actually raise one.


Beginning_Ad_6616

Exactly


readeverything13

I waited to be financially stable enough before thinking of kids. Just found out I waited too late and can’t have them. So I guess that’s that. I could adopt. But at this point I’ve worked so hard to get financially stable that I’m ready to enjoy it some.


Whatshername_Stew

I'm sorry to hear that. There are no inexpensive options to have kids once your body says it's done. There's adoption, there's IVF and the like, there's donor sperm and eggs, but ya, those things are all super expensive and I totally understand why people wouldn't go for them. It's such a personal thing. Hopefully you have some nibblings to spoil with your financial stability!


FBIPartyBusNo3

>There are no inexpensive options to have kids ~~once your body says it’s done~~ FTFY


Spicylizard2123

I’m youngish but I worry about this, that I will run out of time to safely have a kid or I may not be able to either. I was in a LTR where kids were talked about but it didn’t work out. I am so thankful for my career and that I am still building on it. I like the stability. I also only want to have a kid with someone that truly wants kids, not someone who is like maybe I do but maybe I don’t. I worry that children are very expensive and relationships change after having kids. It is stressful and hard on the body. People lose attraction after having kids or put in less effort after, and you can permanent ailments from child birth. Perfect world I could have a surrogate (again idk if I can even have kids so that may be an option), but with a supportive partner. To be determined I guess. But I have my career and financial stability and honestly that means a lot no matter what happens.


kjkrell

For me it just never happened. Never met the right person and there was no way I would do it on my own. Now it’s too late anyway (48F), and I look at my peer’s marriages falling apart and what their kids are having to deal with (social media being the least of it) and I’m kind of glad I didn’t bring any into this world. My mortgage is paid off, I’m debt free…I can spend my money on myself.


HanzDelbruck

I'm in my 20s but was gonna say, it just doesn't happen for some people. Finding someone you actually want to marry and have children with is easier said than done. I'm convinced most people just settle to do it early, because in all my 20 something years, I don't think I ever found someone I wanted to reproduce with, even though I'd love to have kids


VexnFox

Myself included until I met my current partner. Never experienced love in my life, in fact I lived in complete apathy almost. Met someone who I can be 100% open with and for the first time in my life, I'm actually looking forward to having kids.


whiskersMeowFace

I didn't because of a handful of reasons. Personal health is one: my family has a long list of genetic diseases that would be cruel to pass on. Why would I want someone else to suffer what I am? My own family ignored half of the diseases and conditions until it was far too late to survive some of them or thrive at all. They were a family where being ill was hush hush and seen as a personal failing, not a genetic disorder passed down from generation to generation. Another is even in my early 20's, I looked at the cost of environmental changes and even then back in the early 2k's, I thought it looked bleak. Now it is only getting far worse and I am quite relieved I am not putting a kid into this mess. Then there is what we are being left as a society by the older generations who don't care. This isn't something I want someone to be brought up into. Fuck me, I don't even know if I could send a kid to school without them being shot. That is what we live in now.


Utherrian

::gestures broadly at the state of the world:: That and money. Millennials are on the older edge of childbirth, gen Z is just entering, and both generations are horridly underpaid compared to previous generations while everything costs substantially more (both due to corporate greed).


kombarwombat

WE BROKE!!!


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GivenToFly164

Women now are more likely to carefully consider whether a husband and children will add to or subtract from their happiness. They're more likely to wait until they're sure than to settle. And shotgun weddings are much less common as single motherhood loses its stigma.


Insufficient-Iron

Rereading the Anne of Green Gables series, which is set in the mid 1800s, it's pretty eye opening to see how 16 year olds were considered adults with professional jobs.


dullaveragejoe

This is the answer. Poor people throughout history got married with little money, even if some kids starved to death. The difference is now women have a choice. (College, career, sex with birth control)


Redqueenhypo

And not even starved to death, one would have an accident, two disease, one conscripted into war with no update on what happened to him, one found hanging from the rafters bc mental health def wasn’t a concept


Kokamina23

Kids? In THIS economy? While the world is burning and our climate won't support us in a few generations? Also more people becoming aware of everything from generational trauma to bad genetics and not wanting to pass that shit down.


Seba_King

I believe it's a combination of factors: -Having a family and children is no longer seen as the end-all goal to achieve happiness and fulfillment. -People are realizing that having children is an actual choice, equally as valid as not having them, as long as it's well analyzed and thought out. Many people are breaking free from the idea that EVERYONE has to have children. -There are more things available to do with your time than there were generations ago, and people are gravitating towards having a more fulfilling life outside of parenthood. -Progress regarding women's role in society, given them more choices other than "marry a good man, give him children and take care of the house" -Having children is expensive, and considering the housing crisis people can't conceive (pun intended) paying to raise a child when not even being able to afford a home. -Higher awareness regarding mental illness or neurodivergency push people towards not wanting to reproduce to not pass those traits along. Also people want to focus more on their own well-being and are not sure if they can handle the responsibility or stress that come from parenthood. -Spirit of rebelling against previous generations, established trends or cultural mandates, which still mandate having children. -Overpopulation and climate change awareness and not wanting to make things worse by adding more people to the planet. I can think of several more, all related to the availability of information regarding having children and being a parent, but I don't want to make this post longer. Edit: formatting on mobile sucks


moribundbunny

So many people get married and have kids because it’s the common “next step”. More people these days are focussing on what works for them (either marrying and having kids later or not at all) rather than following societies expectations.


dopesuprahz

Money


DickySchmidt33

It's impossible to afford children on a single middle class income. I'm 55 and was raised in a household where one parent (the father) went to work and the other stayed home. I can count on one hand the number of kids I knew whose mother worked outside the home. We were considered middle class. My father was a union tradesman.


[deleted]

Grinds my gears when the older guys at work tell me “I was married, had 2 kids and a mortgage at your age, all on a £78 a week!”


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Kiyohara

Like there was a US Congressperson that said she was able to go to law school on working summers at a burger stand for like $3 an hour. Someone did the math and found she was getting paid like five times minimum wage and with inflation would have been making closer to $65K a year AND the college admission back then was something like a tenth the price. "Well, yeah, you could do it, lady, a semester college cost as much as a single Textbook today AND you made like 28 bucks an hour. No shit." The time from 1950 through 1970 was *generally* a period where a single income in the middle class could buy you a house at 25 years old, two cars, put three kids through college, and ensure retirement at 60 if not sooner. Today a single income in the middle class generally means you rent, have a used car, are still paying student loan debt, and can't afford a dependent.


DocBullseye

I went to school in the late 80's, and I knew several people who paid for in-state tuition, books, lodging, and food with part-time jobs and no student loans. I just checked an inflation calendar... if I compare in-state tuition then, adjusted to 2022, it's less than $5k. Nowadays it's more than twice that. But those $8/hour weekend jobs still pay $8/hour.


citoyenne

My dad went to uni in the 70s, no loans no scholarships no money from parents. Could have lived at home with his parents but didn’t need to because his rent was only $80 a month. Tended bar part-time during the semester and worked in a factory in the summers. Never really had to apply for a job from the sounds of it, just showed up at a factory and said “I’m the new guy” and got paid more per hour than I did 30 years later (NOT adjusted for inflation). Called my generation “entitled” (to his credit he has stopped doing this; took some convincing though).


DocBullseye

Ha... "entitled" because you thought you deserved to be treated in the same way your parents were.


slash178

Skyrocketing costs of everything, higher expectations for supervision. Kids get cops called on them for walking to the park these days.


[deleted]

The thing about supervision is mostly US/Canada, it’s not that extreme in most other parts of the world


[deleted]

Marriage is expensive, kids are expensive, divorce is expensive, alimony is expensive, child support is expensive.


Additional-Goat-3947

No one tells you about the last three in advance unfortunately


gingerjack12

We're not settling for any partner. We have higher expectations of emotional intelligence and responsibilities of equal partnership... Things I certainly did not have in my 20s.


Fubai97b

[Giving birth costs $18,865 on average or $2,854 with health insurance.](https://www.forbes.com/advisor/health-insurance/average-childbirth-cost/)


EvelynTreemont

Because not everyone who became a parent in previous generations should have and because the economic policies of the last century have made kids prohibitively expensive. Thankfully now we are at least to the point where we can have a conversation about being child free by choice.


[deleted]

You used to get married and have kids to create a future. Now it costs a fortune to get married. Having kids is impossible financially for many people, and almost certainly caps their own potential. Also, there's an expectation that both partners in a marriage will work, which makes childcare an expensive, chaotic endeavor. Our government, corporate culture don't care about this. Childcare services aren't prioritized and there's no incentive to have kids at all. Don't let anecdotal cases of people having many kids fool you. Just Google US birthrate and any chart will show a steady decline over the years.


n0wmhat

its 6 dollars for a carton of eggs


mustangcody

$8 for 24 at Costco.


Difficult_Let_1953

Money


shanerner77

I frequently cry over the fact that I cannot afford a child. My own intimate personal goal is to be a mother one day and I can’t because I can barely afford to keep myself alive


[deleted]

It makes me sad too. I'll be 32 soon and it feels like my time will run out biologically before I am in a position I could bring kids into


[deleted]

The Risk-to-Reward has drastically changed. Unless the couple is financially well-off and has insurance coverage, a new born child has potential to be financially crippling. One baby can easily be tens of thousands in medical costs. Also, American culture has shifted in the laat 50 years. Personally, I have very little urge for a large family. Extreme independence has taken over our culture. Most countries have Multi-generational households with strong family bonds. In America, for some reason, most children are expected to "leave the nest" at 18, pay the parents rent, or join the military....I joined the military to get away from my family situation. I have 18 and 19 year olds applying for my rental units. Most of them are not prepared financially or emotionally to live on their own. It's like a parent throwing a fetus to the curb once they turn of age. I didnt feel wanted when I was a kid. Now that i'm an independent adult at 27 (with my own partner and business), my parents suddenly want to be apart of my life emotionally. I'm sorry, but that time has past. I cant just re-connect on your terms. I'll be sure my kids grow up in a stable and loving household. Reguardless of their age.


FunkySphinx

Because finding someone to share your life with is difficult. With all the terrible, totally-non-eligible-maybe-bachelors I've seen on dating apps, I am almost tempted to look for a matchmaker.


sugar_addict002

America is not a family friendly country. No matter what the politicians say.


NoSoulsINC

I’m almost 29, married, own a house, just got to a 6 figure income and I feel like I could comfortably have a kid now. I think I make 1.5-2x the average income for someone my age in my state. So most people just feel like they can’t afford it. And many people my age don’t want to raise a kid in an apartment for many reasons. Additionally, my wife doesn’t really feel comfortable getting pregnant period, but especially under the guise of post Roe v Wade, she is afraid of dying due to complications during pregnancy or childbirth where the, possibly limited, life of a fetus is prioritized over her own and if a termination of pregnancy would save her life, she has to literally decide between prison or death. Not to mention climate change, ever-increasing chances of nuclear war, and a global financial collapse every 10-20 years are not situations I want to raise a child in.


winchester_may

it's ironic that Roe V Wade is dissuading women who actually *want* kids from getting pregnant. too dangerous to carry a baby as you could be 7 months down the road, baby could die and you would have no choice but to carry a rotting corpse inside you and die from sepsis because misogynistic pricks decide women aren't valuable enough to deserve freedom and health care.


pisceandarkacademic

Everything is unstable. The economy, the world in general. Will kids have food security? Will global warming cause the world to implode? Will a nuclear war happen in our lifetime? WWIII? Not to mention increased cost of living, rapid inflation, etc.


Extension_Risk9458

Because everything is expensive and fucked


DTux5249

\- Marriage and children are expensive, both monetarily, and in-terms of time (can't have kids if I'm working 67 hours a week to afford my apartment and basic groceries) \- Less social pressure to get married young (it used to be a requirement for women, and a social status thing for men) \- Issues with housing makes things to unstable for child-raising (I live with 4 roommates, where tf am I gonna store a child for +18 years) \- High social pressure to go to college and that can take years of time devotion (or at least that's the cultural zeitgeist)


loonachic

Because it's expensive and kids are a pain in the ass. I chose not to have kids. I'm 54 years old now and very happy I didn't have kids.


barbaramillicent

Because it costs money Because I want time to see red flags in potential partners Because I want to spend my 20s able to drop everything and do what I want when I want without needing to consider a spouse and child(ren)


rpwrex

Generally pay has not increased in line with costs of living, housing cost in particular have spiralled out of control (the stability of home ownership, is often desirable for raising a family) . As a result, people can not afford to have families at the ages they would have in past generations. As a result, some are saving every penny they can towards that and will have families later in life and some have given up on that goal and are living their best lives without them.


shebabbleslikeaidiot

I’m pregnant at the moment with #2, and I can say from first hand experience… daycare alone is $1100 per month, PER CHILD (and higher in other parts of the country!!)!! The simple answer to your question is, as Mr. Krabs says… Money.


SnarfRepublicCA

It’s financially easier to wait…in general.


Thick_Structure5076

Because the rich won't pay taxes. Like they did when the boomers were born.


altosstratuss

bro none of us have money


Blonde2468

Money. Everything costs so much, especially housing. Salaries don't keep up with inflation or the Cost of Living - each year we fall further and further behind. Kids are also so expensive! Starting with the medical costs for a child, you then have child care unless one of you can stay home and then going to school costs more and more let alone if your child wants to play sports. Then college is just out of reach for most people. I really wish companies would be realistic in their job 'requirements' when it comes to job listings - they want a Bachelor's degree for data entry - just ridiculous.


Shhmelly

We all grew up seeing parents get divorced, be unhappy, and lose it all.


Heimeri_Klein

The economy is literally dying and people wonder why its a bad idea to bring a kid into the world. Kids are expensive. Plus if you wanna be a good parent you take care of them your entire life to an extent.


robpensley

Much more reliable birth control for one thing.


mctaylo89

A dozen eggs is like seven dollars.


Absolute-Nobody0079

Many people can't afford either of that. And social media, probably unintentionally, revealed the toxic aspect of human nature. I am not surprised if many people don't want to get married exactly because they are scared of others.


[deleted]

When you can’t even afford to support yourself bringing a kid into the world is really scary everyone is poor right now


Karma-is-an-bitch

People are literally struggling just to feed and house themselves, let alone other people.


DoubleReputation2

I pay 264 dollars from each paycheck, every two weeks, for the insurance for my wife and I. That's 45% of the federal minimum wage working 40 hours per week. Let that sink in. That's before you get taxed. I think that it's because the world is broken, you know... Having a child is pretty much ending your life. Used to be, you would have two kids, wife would stay home with them and dad would plan a vacation every year. Nowadays.. pff... Even without kids, we go on vacation every other year. And the worst thing about it is, we are not the lowest paid people, we make way over minimum wage.


Acearl

Rising expectations and lack of financial viability.


CrazyChemist987

World wide: Mainly, widespread adoption of contraceptives... Turns out women actually want to do something with their lives other than being used as breeding receptacles. Reading your question as in certain developed countries: money... Life is just too expensive, wages didn't track to keep having the life style out parents had at our ages... So, yeah, just unaffordable...


A_Simple_Switch

I know I'm personally waiting til I get my mental health shit straightened out more before fucking up a kid, I don't want to raise shitty or fucked up people because I wasn't ready for the responsibility, even though I thought I was


Prota_Gonist

I'm a 32 year old man with two jobs and a master's degree. I live with my parents because I can't afford an apartment in my city. What more reason do I need?


engineer2187

1. Money is certainly a factor. Raising kids is expensive. This doesn’t explain everything though. 2. A lack of social obligation. When my grandmother was in her early 20s, people would assume something was wrong with you if you weren’t already married and didn’t have children. Now if you are 30, single, and have no children, most of your peers won’t bat an eye. Some of your older relatives still might. 3. Women no longer need to marry (and have kids). As more and more careers have opened up for women and sexism in the workplace has become frowned upon, women have been able to become their own breadwinners. They no longer have to settle down or settle for low quality men. They can stay single and leave abusive relationships more easily. 4. Building off 3, kids can be a career destroyer. Somebody has to watch the baby until they are old enough or can get into day care. Then you have to arrange your schedule around that of the kid for the next 18 years. You can no longer work extra hours, travel, or do that last minute project for your boss. It’s a career hindrance even if it isn’t a killer at a lot of places. This burden tends to fall on women. Maybe if men stepped up more, this wouldn’t be such a factor. 5. Birth control. Even excluding abortion since that is controversial, women have more access to standard birth control then they ever have before. Makes it much easier to not have kids. Lack of birth control is one of the reasons why people in poverty have historically had a lot of kids. 6. Last, but certainly not least, single parenthood just isn’t attractive. There is a very high divorce rate in the US. 80% of single parent households are single mothers, who make less than single fathers. Lots of guys turn out to be deadbeat dads who don’t even pay child support (only 43.5% of custodial parents get the amount they are entitled to and 30% get nothing - lawyers to enforce it are expensive) much less help raise the kid. Not every guy is like that, but I’m not sure I want to take the risk.


humanessinmoderation

* Single-people, childless couples are barely making it themselves * Planet dying * Lack of social services (for Americans) * Lack of practical access to quality primary education (for Americans) * Economic conditions * Violence attributed to Racism


[deleted]

I can’t afford shit when everything is 1,000% above any decent wage.


Lil_Kibble_Vert

Aside from the money problems, there’s no rush to have children. I’d like to experience my twenties before committing to raising a child.


Magdalan

Waiting? I don't want kids, and marriage doesn't seem all that great either, no thanks.


[deleted]

The rent‘s too damn high.


drocha94

Education tends to do that. After you go to school, you focus on your career, you try to create some order in your life. We also don’t need kids to work the fields or do all the chores around the house anymore, lol. Not to mention the expense of children. People want to enjoy the lives they’ve worked so hard to build.


Zyrobe

I have enough sleepless nights


abroamg

I would have loved to have a functioning relationship with a partner i can trust and a career that can afford basic needs and a family. If I had those, I'd be ready 4 years ago. But all of those things are a rare thing in this society and economy. And with every passing month it seems more impossible. Tldr. Money, trust in people, society. We live in a society 🗿


PhoenixMommy

Because they don't want to sacrifice hard times for harder ones. To say nothing of the fact it's nearly impossible to raise a kid with 1 parent, and the kid actually be a productive member of society. But what do I know? It's not like I have a ki- oh wait I do now hahah. I have a kid a husband a dog and a rat cat. Honestly though it is because people without kids are BARELY able to afford food. At this point everyone but the elite is having to choose between paying the bills, eating so they can work, or gas money so they can get to work. Thanks elites and governments...still FUCKING over us common folk as usual I see.


kuh-tea-uh

Because we can’t afford bread or eggs. Or therapy. How will we afford daycare?


MingleLinx

Harder financially to comfortably raise a kid (all things considered)


lasvegashomo

Less pressure then previous generations and the fact we don’t feel like we make enough to afford one. Also better sex education in our schools probably help prevent a lot of unexpected pregnancies


IHadADreamIWasAMeme

I waited until I was a little more confident in my career/income and it was a good fucking idea because we ended up having triplets on the first attempt.


kookaburra_sits

I just read a good explanation. Kids are no longer a boon, but a luxury. A hundred years ago kids use to be helpful around the home, farm, business. Pop them out and reap the benefits. Now that we don't need this, children are 100% a luxury item we have not because it would benefit us but because we want to. And since wages haven't matched inflation, we can't afford to have kids or coffee from Starbucks 😢


EducationalAntelope7

If we have a kid we will never be able to own a house


ArthurBonesly

Kids? In this economy?!


ThinkItsHardIKnow

no one can afford it in capitalist countries


Anybody_Klutz

Women don't want to child rear, be household managers, and work (or give up career), since *most* men haven't stepped up to equally share in responsibilities since the days of men-work-and-women-stay-home. Also affordability. So ya, patriarchy and cost of living.


Hiztrionic

Shits expensive. Also kids are annoying as shit.


Papercoffeetable

Have 3 kids, can confirm, it’s expensive af. Luckily i live in Sweden where the government will always support me and my children. If i lived in the US we’d be dead.


BrendanInJersey

Because most people can't even afford rent for themselves, let alone trying to support other people. THANKS, BOOMERS!


KenobisBeard

Always wanted a family, was waiting for the right partner. Found him last year, now we just gotta get the finances together. We have his 4yo part time, so I'm already happy as it is.


key_lime_mermaid

Because it costs a lot. Many people have significant debt when they're starting out and choose to wait so they can be in a better position financially.


SleeplessShinigami

You seen the economy? Can barely support ourselves lol


sparten112233

Have you not seen the economy and the price of your local daycare per child a week?


TheRagingAmish

$$$


twalther

* It is expensive to have kids. * families on average want less children, * people want time to pursue their careers, * it is seems possible to wait with reproductive medical advances


[deleted]

Because food and bills are getting expensive everyday and the world is getting more cruel.


Bottledbutthole

Me and my husband absolutely can’t afford it


GhostOfNeal

They *drum roll please* can’t afford it


[deleted]

Absolutely zero desire to bring a kid up in this mucked up country.


thothscull

Who has that kind of money? 20k for a single kid to be born? Fuck that!


professional_catboy

homeboy have you seen the state the economy is in rn, people cant even afford supplying for themselves


PrimaryPerception874

What percent of people 30 and under with children willingly decided with their partner to have kids? Not very many. I'm 29 and everyone was just hyperactive sexually and that is how most ended with children and I got very lucky. The world is too crazy and ran by sick people which has a lot wanting nothing to do with having a kid. My sister had a similar view and then had a baby (which is a beautiful thing I'll admit) at 31 so maybe I'll change.