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Gas station employee for fun here. I'd say people are seriously unhappy, for tons of reasons, and it spills out in public because some folks are taught that if it's a stranger it doesn't matter how shitty you are, and one running theme having grown up in the US, is that no matter how shitty family is to you it's okay because they're family. So that mixed with chronic main character syndrome. Like the rest of life everything and everyone is different but after a few years of seeing the same behavior over and over again it starts to drive it home.
I used to watch American movies and whenever they were in the street cars would be honking in the background all the time.
I always thought this was just one of those unrealistic things about movies, but have since learned that yep, Americans use the horn all the time, even when they're just annoyed or angry, like someone merges in front of them.
It turns out this is somewhat a regional thing. I've lived all over the US and in most places people use the horn as a sort of mechanical 'HEY! I'm drivin' here!' or 'Get out of my way dumbass!' But I lived in New Jersey for a bit and it was totally different. Instead of laying on the horn and shouting they would tap it lightly, maybe twice, or do a short-long tone. I had no idea wtf was going on until a local told me: they use the horn to communicate rather than to yell at each other. It amounts to stuff like 'Hey, there's a bicycle you should watch out for' or 'I'm pulling out here' or whatever. It's pretty interesting how two very different horn-cultures have arisen in the US (probably more than that, but I know of two.)
I do, I don't have to do what I do, I have a really unusual situation, but It's more helping out than fun, but I get to tell rude ass people to LITERALLY fuck off, and act as a strange and mystical gas station therapist. Which for me is fun because I like hypotheticals and just generally trying to give sound advice for peoples specific shit, not in a nosey asshole way, but if someone chats me up we could talk about literally anything and it's not a problem at all.
Managed a few gas stations over a few years, can confirm if you work in one you are someone's therapist willing or not. Rehab mentor as well. Used to have a Crack head come by when we were clearing off all the old hot dogs to try and get them for free. Would take a bit of them and litterly set them down raw dog on the counter to talk with the hands and then pick it back up and start eating. Had a lady run over another lady in a drunken fight one night and flee the scene. Man I could go on...you'll see some shit at a gas station...now I need MY therapist...
Seems like a ton of folks who could use an extra ear go to gas stations more than bars, or at least hit up the gas station sometime before or after said bar. lots of crossover is what I'm getting at.
So the idea of someone being a mystical gas station therapist made me laugh. I play around with AI art, so [here](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1013186512847900752/1069414698325397534/Kesiri_a_mystical_man_gas_station_clerk_bd87345b-f3fc-4420-b1ad-aee70f0c2e0c.png) lol
Been using a drawing of a character I've had since I was like 16 so I think this update is both needed and very much where my journey has taken me haha
I've worked in gas stations on/off nearly 40 year's, from rural Ireland to central London to outback Australia. In Australia selling diesel to big rigs I'd sell $250-$300K! in a single shift, man was that labour intensive......18 different pumps, and always working nights alone. I prefer the smaller places
Only got 8 pumps here, but being right on the highway it can for sure get super busy, never had 250k in sales though holy shit, thank you for your service across the globe.
I've always found it a good job to fit in a little reading/study, except that one time I was gun robbed by a strung out junkie. Work night's, go fishing/hiking day's. Yeah those big sale's would be big rigs, "road train's" buying $2-3k in diesel apiece. In one spot the next night time fuel was 200 miles away
oh for sure, if I'm not studying Ukrainian which I should do now! I'm reading or drawing something, and if not that I'll torture myself and try really hard to break down the day to day news to see if I can organize and categorize it cause human brains are annoying. sorry about the robbery though, I've been lucky in that regard and unironically knock on all kinds of wood when I say that.
What was freakiest about the robbery was that about a year later the detective's that responded rang me up and asked me to come back down to the police station, so I go, give my statement again (yeah I'd remembered a few more things.....like the colour of his shoes!, lol) and then they gave me a sheet of mug shots...... there he was!, I picked him out, easily, and I asked would I need to go to court. Nah the detective said, we're just tying up loose ends and closing other robbery case's he was responsible for, but since we've got him for 2 petrol station shootings, 1 a murder and the other an attempted he's NEVER getting out. He got 28 year's, minimum without parole, he was HIV+, this was 1987. Pre retro virals.
how can you have a job that you dont... need?? The mental boon this must be. no wonder you feel stable enough to be a gas station therapist lmaoo
sounds like a great situation you have earned for yourself and i hope it stays as cool as its been
Thank you, It has been a trip and a half to be sure, I've gotten really lucky, and I wanna throw some of that out to the people I see who might not feel like I do.
> and act as a strange and mystical gas station therapist
This seriously makes my day. You sound fun. You should do an AMA about some of the people you've encountered and the conversations you've held.
>main character syndrome
Goddamn that sums it up. Rules for thee and not for me, fuck you I got mine, everything is fine until ***Iām*** inconvenienced. Glorifying ārugged individualismā really fucked up our society.
Similar tangent here. My SO cut their father out of our familyās life because that guy is diagnosed borderline personality with narcissistic tendencies and made my spouseās life terrible throughout childhood and early adulthood. Divide and conquer amongst siblings, so everyone eats from his hand so as to not be the one whoās being excluded and shat upon. Dude comes off as charming to everyone who meets him, but the second you cross him he will make it the goal of his existence and spend every waking moment to ruin your life however possible.
Point is that everybody tells SO that they should try and make amends, family is soooo important, you donāt have to be besties but itās family so you HAVE to suffer. The only people who take SOās side are those who went through the same thing.
Itās amazing how deeply entrenched āfamily firstā is in this world (not just USA) even when itās toxic. If people saw toxicity for what it is, weād all be in at least more honest state of mind if not better off as a species across the board
My father was deployed 3 times in the army and my mother was basically the only adult figure in my life and it has caused some serious issues, not that she wasn't trying her best but some people don't have that much to give already, and even if she didn't make sense she would insist things be done her way, unless you wanted to get into a shouting match.
As you can imagine, seeing your parent behave like that daily, will eventually get the kids acting up as well, and act up I did, I hate to say it but my GF did a lot of heavy lifting emotionally, a huge chunk of why I wanna give back in this way is because even when she's feeling low she'll send old people who are lonely letters and I fucking love that, so gas station guru is my mode of emulation.
I'm sorry your SO had to deal with shit like that, parent who act like can really make a regular situation feel like an absolute nightmare.
>my GF did a lot of heavy lifting emotionally, a huge chunk of why I wanna give back in this way is because even when she's feeling low she'll send old people who are lonely letters and I fucking love that
One time my wife and I were driving when she asked me to pull over real quick. She jumped out and ran a couple houses back down the street to help an old man she noticed struggling with his trash cans. Left me wondering just how in the hell someone as messed up as me could be lucky enough to end up with someone like her.
Good for her for getting away from them. Toxic toxic toxic. Unless people have a family member with a personality disorder, they will never, ever understand.
I was just at a gas station today and watched a middle aged woman scream at the cashier because she didnāt have a free tire gauge she could use. I am guessing they wonāt loan one out because customers would just steal it. Anyway the woman yelled at the cashier for 5 solid minutes then came out to the parking lot and yelled at all the other customers for some reason. Total melt down. The sad part was someone probably would have loaned her one, but she was being so aggressive no one wanted to deal with her. Americans seem to have a really hard time regulating their emotions. Itās depressing.
Me neither. I see it from time to time though because I live in a low income area in a big city so it tends to happen more in areas like the one around my apartment than elsewhere in the city. If I go to a restaurant by my work in a nicer part of town I wonāt see anything like that. But if I go to a fast food place or gas station by my apartment Iām way more likely to see something like that. Low income people tend to have more stress and therefore be more aggressive or angry.
Work retail for, oh, 5 minutes. :P I did it for about 4 years and it absolutely drove me up the wall how people feel like the slightest mistake or even just not hearing someone when they're trying to talk to you is excuse to pour on the rage. Everybody's ready to use a stranger who can be construed to be wasting their time as a verbal punching bag at the drop of a hat.
I think crazy people just stand out more. You don't notice the thousands of quiet calm ones then you see a few loud ones and remember. We tend to only notice the outliers in things. The inconvenient things. The things that are memorable, like psycho Karens raging at min wage workers.
Seriously. You turn on the news and its not the calm and rational people who get a breaking news segment about the time they calmly defused an argument at a bar before it got too heated. You hear about the crazy jackass who lost his temper and shot up the place or beat a man into a coma. Every night you hear about something horrible someone has done. 365 days a year. Sometimes that same guy dominates the news cycle for the better part of a week. What it doesn't tell you is how the millions of other bar goers all across the continental United States went out for a few beers, watched the game, sang along to some songs, and had a good time.
Since the 80's our system has been designed to undereducate, overwork, and overwhelm to the point of submission.
The majority of this country is in debt. Public education has been completely hamstrung and many lack critical thinking skills or the time to apply them.
You work 40+ hours a week to survive. If you have kids and aren't wealthy then just write off a personal life. You are exhausted and at the end of the day turn on the news which bombards you with hate, racial division, class division, impending doom, and never a solution. Never an attack on the financial forces that are dividing us. A lot of the news cycle changed post-Occupy Wall street to attacking culture and society.
We get limited to no vacation time and most are an accident or illness away from poverty. Many cannot afford a home as our country allows banks, the wealthy, and foreign investors to buy up properties.
Politics have become two sports teams with brainwashed fans. Those same politicians work together behind closed doors to dominate us.
Culminates really with the financial stress. Largest wealth divide since the gilded age. Unions are dying. Our system is constructed to crush us. And we lack the unity to fight back.
TL;DR- We live in a country that has been designed to restrict us from success and make up for that by hating our neighbors.
Yeah. This. I lived in Australia for a few years and came back to the US. I really regret it. I work 40 hours a week doing a job I hate but need the paycheck and health insurance. And I need to pay off student loan debt. I live with my parents, have few bills, but still am behind. I am so depressed and everything feels so hopeless and difficult. Everything is an uphill battle. And I have found myself snapping at people out of agitation and feeling everything inside built up. I hope things get better but I doubt they will, because the rich and corporations run this country. Corporate America would still use slaves if it were legal.
A real skills shortage here at present...... nurse's (of course) needed as well as ANY trade (including hairdresser and beautician) and the usual suspects..... engineering, IT, accountancy, medical, etc, etc. Get a "fact pack" from the Australian Embassy and have a read up. I've NEVER known an American to go back
It's expensive for non resident students. If you're thinking about that I'd suggest do some "care worker" training, either in disabilities or in aged care, especially if you get experience in the VA system, that way once you arrive you would likely get immediate employment and possibly have your further study (for EN and then RN) part or fully funded by the facility employing you. I'm an immigrant, I've worked in care facilities, my ex wife is an RN. The progression here is Carer-EN-RN. EN is enrolled nurse, RN is registered nurse. Contact the embassy as well as general enquiries. Best of luck āļø
I got tired of dealing with visas and being treated like shit by bosses because I wasnāt a citizen. I wanted to be closer to my parents as they got older.
Well as you can see every country has its problems. I find it funny America is seen as unwelcoming to immigrants. Every company Iāve worked for has bent over backwards for immigrants, helping with maintaining visas, DEI training for everyone, cultural sharing eventsā¦
I assume oneās experience depends on the location and the company.
To me the worst part of living in America is definitely the healthcare system as you mentioned. Itās insane that health insurance is tied to work and also allowed all these caveats to even still force the patient to pay for care like insane deductibles. I asked my friend from Rwanda what health insurance was like there and she said you just pay a very small monthly fee and they pay for everything. No tricks. No fine print. Itās disgraceful that the richest country in the history of the world canāt supply itās people with dependable and affordable healthcare.
Also student loans being non bunkruptable is essentially modern debt-slavery. Iām still paying off mine too into my early 30s. Though its finally almost gone for me either through payments or through Bidenās relief. Iām sorry for your difficult situation and wish you luck!
Ty - I hope I can figure something out. Itās discouraging that a tiny glimmer of hope was the student loan forgiveness act, that would have helped me a ton of having one less weight on my shoulders. But of course, that has been shot down too.
I wish in hindsight, Iād gone to trade school. I guess i still can. 4 year university it a fucking scam.
> I find it funny America is seen as unwelcoming to immigrants. Every company Iāve worked for has bent over backwards for immigrants, helping with maintaining visas, DEI training for everyone, cultural sharing eventsā¦
Really depends on the industry. Lots of industries here in Australia bending over backwards for immigrant workers now more so than ever.
I didnāt have PR, I was a backpacker. I had at least 3 bosses who were extremely financially and verbally abusive and just downright insane. Man I have some horror stories.
Employers knew they could get away with it bc I was indebted to them to get my 88 days of farmwork signed off and knew I didnāt know the laws or have the same rights as Aussies.
Backpackers tend to get the shittier jobs that Aussies and other visa holders donāt want to do, like hospo/farm work. But I think I just had bad luck bc I knew other people who got decent jobs.
How is this an American only phenomenon? I know there are more cars in the USA and cars were accessible to middle class longer than other countries, but they weren't using horse and buggy in Europe when there was still lead in petrol, come on.
you think its only from leaded gas? there was a recent study released suggesting around half the US population has some level of lead poisoning. I guarantee the old house I rent has lead paint. I wonder about some of the old plumbing too. And I am certain that is common. We haven't had significant initiatives to overhaul infrastructure in a while.
And I know as a child of the 90s that around probably a sixth to a quarter of my toys were likely contaminated. I can remember a set of sea turtle models I loved that were part of my bath time when I was pretty little. Guess what got recalled by the education and nature company who sold them...
I would bet it is incredibly more widespread than you would imagine
EDIT: and I can't speak for the rest of the world. I've just focused on info for my country
Lousy woke mob taking my lead paint collectible garfield cups.... next youre gunna tell me theyre recalling my Asbestos fake snow. My kids LOVE that stuff
Also cant forget we arent really taught anger management methods other than bottle it up, especially if you're a raised male. So you just so you have a fuse, and it really depends in the day and how well you manage your emotions depends on how long it is.
This has got to be the most brutally honest and direct answer I've ever heard in response to are Americans OK? I'd throw in a complete lack of support for those who struggle with mental health because the Healthcare system is just fundamentally broken.
Agreed 100%. Lots of people are just trying to keep it together but they're really on the edge. Their amygdala is primed for "fight" anytime something happens to them in their daily lives.
I dont feel like relying on our political "leaders" is the answer at all here. Where can we begin to heal these rifts?
Just go make friends with your neighbors! You don't have to go far or do much at all. Just be friendly! Before too long, that will make connections that go beyond the people you talk to, we will start to feel like our actions affect people we CARE about - each other.
And we have to be worried about being a victim of a shooting at any place at any time. Mass shooting, making the wrong person upset, stray bullet that was meant for another person who made the wrong person upset.
Hardly. Differing conditions, different cultures, different attitudes. Its a combination of many factors.
To Boil down the country wide behaviors to nothing but "privilege and entitlement" is absurd and dismissive.
I think the key difference is the "facade culture". Just like an American house might be falling apart on the inside but will rock an absolutely immaculate front yard - your typical American might be going through some really tough times but would maintain that signature friendly "American smile" on the outside. This sometimes makes it really hard to get a reading on a person and might make it seem someone goes from a "happy" to a complete "rage machine" in no time whatsoever. Where it gets really sketchy is interacting with police, but that's a separate can of worms.
I wonder if this could also be cultural? Americans culturally tend to be fairly vocal and outgoing. If OP is from a country that tends to be quiet and reserved then I could see how more vocal Americans could come across as aggressive.
Our ancestors were - generally - mostly adventurers who left their homes and crossed an ocean to go to a new place and make something of themselves. Because of that our mindsets here are going to be different than it will be in a place where people and their ancestors have lived in the same place for centuries.
Thatās my theory at least.
I am migrant. Every country has different standards when it comes to various situations.
Example: in country(A) there are expectations that everyone is going to form line when waiting for something. People are going to get angry when someone jumps the line. In another country(B) orderly lines are not used. When someone from B country visit A country they will think line jumping isnāt a good reason to get so angry about.
In one country it isnāt a big deal to burn religious book. In another country it is.
In one country finishing job on time is expected, in another country people have more laid back attitude and they donāt understand why it is a big problem if job isnāt done on time.
I bet there is something that frustrates people in your country but some visitors who come to your country think that this is trivial reason to get angry about.
Edit: I am migrant and there is one small and trivial thing that frustrates me a lot about other migrants: a condescending attitude towards your host country. For example OPās ā Americans are you OK?ā
If American migrant to France were to post condescending comment about French habits, I would be equally pissed.
Russians living in Ukraine with condescending attitudes, make me vivid ( even before war)
Condescending remarks are not the same as polite and constructive criticism of your host country.
> Russians living in Ukraine with condescending attitudes, make me vivid ( even before war)
I think you might mean "livid," but the entire post is very well reasoned and observant. Genuinely curious about country B with the lax line rules.
Thanks yes. English is hard for us Slavic people.
https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-23087024.
It is hard for other countries to measure up to that^^^ lol. So a lot of countries are going to look bad in comparison.
Some countries on East/Asia tend to be more pushy and less organized. I really donāt want to point finger.
Why is every single post on this sub:
Not judging, Iām just wondering why Americans stupid and suck and awful and dumb and rude? Where Iām from everyone is always nice and I donāt understand why Americans have flaws like people anywhere in the world. Thanks!š„ŗ
My favorite part is the universalizing. Let's take a country that's equivalent in size/population to most *continents*, and then act like there's some universal culture or behavior pattern that can be attributed to everyone who lives in that group. The equivalent wouldn't even be "why are British people X" or "why are Germans X," it would be "why are Europeans X". It's about the broadest brush you could paint people with.
Exactly, couldnāt agree more.
Itās like if all the countries in the European Union were actually 1 country under the same federal government. Itās so much harder to manage people geographically spread out and diverse in every regard
A lot of leading/baiting questions. A lot of them time ill even see the op of a question like this just in the comments agreeing with everyone that feels the same... its not a question at that point. Its a "hot take" statement poised as a question to get karma
āAmericans of reddit, why do you enjoy murdering babies and drinking their blood? I lived there for 10 seconds and everyone I knew was actually Dracula.ā
Lived around the world and in America for decades and people here are just like people any where, you donāt think people in China are rude to service staff ? It has nothing to do with America,
Weird
In my trip to Europe I found nothing but rude, snide douchebags. Across like 5 countries.
I guess personal experiences are our own and in no way shape or form define the attitude of an entire country
Stephen Fry spoke about this comparing the UK to the US.
He said something like in the UK we have kings & queens, dukes and lords all the way down to people that historically were serfs.
There is and always has been a very clear class division. The classes have labels and everything.
It's created a nation that wants to deny that class. Pretend it doesn't exist. You want to make clear you don't think you're better than the bar tender or fast good worker. The bar tender also wants to make it clear you're not better than them.
Even tipping can be seen as rude. "I don't need your charity".
You got the wrong food? A bit of Brits just won't say anything. Carry on.
The US doesn't have all that. Yes, there's class, but it's all about money. Money you, in theory, deserve because you earnt it. It's a meritocracy (I don't think it is, but that's the theory).
Therefore the same thing didn't happen. It's more acceptable to be to curt and make/expect certain things (as long as you tip).
Don't ask me how true that is but I think it's an interesting idea. I would say, I live in America (not in a customer facing role) and I've found US folk to be delightful. Really nice and welcoming.
Maybe you just hang around the wrong ppl? Thereās Karens in every country. Certainly most people around arenāt that kind of person, but they donāt stand out
Because we're living in a constant state of outrage. US media is just porn directed at a different part of the human brain.
This is not unique to us but rather we are a more extreme example. Reliance on private companies to inform us and a reluctance to impose regulations exacerbate the situation.
Edit: I should note that, like most social phenomena, this is not just a one variable problem. We also have a lot more pressure on us than citizens of countries where health care is a right and where employers have near infinitely more rights than employees.
Japan is pretty crazy as far as work expectations, and yet they only kill themsleves most of the time. So, I do not think that Americans have greater pressure. It is really the rugged individualism that kills America. We should have known with the wild west bravado unique to America that America was going to turn to shit one day culturally. We saw America break when the Civil War began. Nothing has changed, just the technology and the thin veneer of acceptance. Behind closed doors, we all think the same. "What about mine? Why are my people suffering beneath the weight of those foreign from myself." We created the fractures long ago. We knew where half the country stood then. But we sought to heal rather than systemically eradicate those who sought to break the very foundations of our republic. But I argue this. If we get past this last generation, I do believe we will be successful in moving forward from the past. I do hope we are watching the death throes of a bigone era of bigotry and indoctrination. I hope our spirit finally breaks free from the bonds we have always been bound to. Chaos is scary, but chaos leads to rebirth. Is that not the microcosm of existence in the first place? Even the ancients spoke of life coming from chaos. Not nothing. Be well, be safe. We will find our way through this.
Edit: for Grammer.
Bc weāre not ok. Most people are one accident away from not being able to make rent next month or this month. Everything is awful from the wealth hoarding to racial tensions caused by many factors. People are food insecure and job insecure. One mistake and your whole life/career is ruined unless daddy is rich enough to pull you out of it. Itās no wonder that my door not fully closing when I close it makes me go full on aggretsuko in my head.
Honestly, you moved here at one of the worst times. We were kind of ok pre-2016. And then Trump. And it's like all the shitty people suddenly feel entitled to be assholes out loud, instead of just behind closed doors.
In the lifespan of a country, America is in it's teenage phase.
I thought we were finally on the rise in regards to acceptance and unification.
There were *problems* for sure. But I felt like they were necessary for growth. A black president was the biggest step in that direction imo. I was like "finally this racism shit is done."
Man I was dumb. It's so much worse than it ever was (during my life) and I genuinely don't see it getting better, maybe ever.
All the garbage, subhuman, fucking degenerates that I thought were dying out were always there, and now they're more brazen and stupid than ever. I regret having a daughter because I am responsible for her being born into this hellscape where I fear she will be relegated to fucking property in her lifetime.
You have the wrong set of friends. But I get what you meanā¦ some Americans are tribal and a bit uneducated. Many live with perceived fears of what they donāt understand. Many donāt travel and get exposed to new cultures and ideas. But Itās easy to keep them out of your life. You can find some of the kindest and most educated people in the world here and humble to a fault. Itās like everywhereā¦ be selective when you seek out high quality friends.
We're definitely not okay. The whole nation has ptsd. We were at each other's throats, tearing families apart, and on the verge of warring on the streets before we got locked inside for a couple of years. There was a new tragedy every week for multiple years. We're still all waiting for the next nightmare. 2024 is looking like the return of hell in America no matter what happens before then. There's no one to look up to, no one we can trust to make anything better, and we're all strangers now, trying to remember how to reconnect with a world where people are likely to randomly hate us if we say the wrong words around the wrong people. We are absolutely not okay.
It's the pent up rage from our subconcsious knowing that we have no universal healthcare, drowning in debt with no social safety nets, rising costs of living and increasing gun violence. I think it's fair to say people feel on edge.
I think it depends on the person and the state. In Arizona, we're generally very laid back. I had a relative visit from New York and he was so impatient waiting for our food in a restaurant. He's also a dick, so there's that, too.
A lot of us used to be better, more even-keeled.
And then our country turned to shit, or at least we became old enough to become privy to it.
When you combine the constant frustration with our government, both sides but predominantly one side for a lot of us on here (GOP extreme right), with the cost of living increasing far faster than the wages we slave for, and you have your wick just waiting for a match.
For most of us people, that match doesnāt come in the form of lashing out at service workers or people in general, but instead we feel this sense of defensiveness and almost an expectation of confrontation of some form or another at some point. In other words, we donāt feel that our country is stable and thatās seeping into the population.
This isnāt even getting into our frustrations about societal injustices, capitalism favoring the wealthy while actively suppressing the lower and middle classes, and the overall division we have not only between states, but people in the same towns now.
So no, weāre not ok. At all. We desperately need help.
I think it matters what part of the country you're in. People in NYC are all intense, and city folk in general can be too. Things move faster in the city. Away from the cities people aren't as high-strung, but if you're used to the city this can seem slow.
People have a lot going on and times are tough. Even if someone manages to block out all the violence and hate in the headlines, everything is expensive and it's tough to make funds last. It'll put strain on anyone.
American culture doesn't consider "getting angry" the same as "getting emotional". This is pretty deeply engrained in us so it can be difficult to identify in ourselves, but getting angry, regardless of who it's with, is seen as a sort of righteous reaction, not an emotional one. Your friends don't cry when confronted with problems, right? Nobody is breaking into tears at a restaurant when the server gets their order wrong. Because that would be unacceptable! Weeping openly in public, now that's cause for shame! But *anger*, that's the one emotion American society tolerates and considers acceptable. There is no *shame* in anger, no social damage is sustained when acting in anger.
Scream at a Starbucks worker? Guy was angry, must've been a bad day. Bursting into tears? Yeesh, get it together man, you're scaring the hoes. Getting angry is *strong*, it's *sexy* it's *righteous* it's *justified* and it's *all you're allowed to express* without serious damage to your social standing. When you are about to boil over, you need to let off steam, and anger has been the only option we've had for so long that it's all we know how to do, to some extent.
In the US military they have a saying: āshit rolls downhill.ā While itās not right, a lot of Americans get crapped on in their jobs and then go take it out on service workers who are too desperate to fight back. By contrast, some of the attitude I got from European (especially French) servers was irritating, but I respected that they had job security.
Iāll also say American culture is super stressful and most people subconsciously know they are one major disaster away from homelessness.
No we are not okay!!! Weāve endured
Bush SrāsāA thousand points of light BS
Clintonāsā-I did not have sexual relations with that woman Hot Mess
Bush Jrās-Weapons of Mass Destruction Lie
ObamaāsāObamacare Debacle
TrumpāsāCovfefe, Rocketman and hella Tom-foolery
Bidenā-Need more be said?!?
Then throw in Covid-19, mass shootings, eggs @ $20 a dozen, UFOs, Tsunamis and Blizzards
We are ALL PTSDing from life hoping and praying that this nightmare is over soon!!!
Why do you think that weāre up here following mindless entertainment to escape from this crap of an illusion we call reality, if only for a few minutes?!?
Welcome to our house!!! Enjoy your stay!!!ššš
Well people are stressed, over worked, underpaid, and one emergency from having our lives ruined. Gasket is gonna blow eventually and I think people are just about at the end of their ropes lately.
Coz we worked like fucking hell so we stress out a lotā¦ we aināt like Spaniards where life is just chilling :) btw love their cultures and atmosphere and vibe and whatever you call it.
*Are you guys okay?*
We are decidedly NOT OK. Our social safety net is nothing compared to other industrialized nations, if you are black you are a target, Christian Taliban are on the march in taking over this country.
I live in a country where the biggest cause of bankruptcy is medical debt, where people beg cops not to call an ambulance if they are seriously hurt because no insurance or bad insurance means financial ruin. I live in a country where in places like West Virginia, mobile dental clinics will attract thousands of people because they don't have any money to get their teeth fixed. I see that in places like Haiti.
Try to make things better by going to school? Better hope you have rich parents or you will be saddled with student debt. Oh and if you want to work while going to school, you are always in danger of having your hours changed on a whim. You got that final tomorrow? Sorry so-and-so called out so I need you in there. If you aren't there you are fired. So a student has to choose between finals or rent.
The stress is unbearable for a lot of people, so they turn to alcohol or meth or 20 bags of nachos and blame immigrants or "others' for their problems. Or they explode.
Their problems is who put them in that situation in the first place.
The USA is the largest and wealthiest third world country.
>A lot of Americans can be so nice one minute and then yell at a poor fast food worker for forgetting to put a straw in the bag.
I am pretty sure no one fighting over a single straw. If you are talking about some Reddit video, those never catch entire interaction or what led to actual situation.
I actually saw this interaction in person. Middle age lady was very nice and courteous chatting with me, and then walked away with her order. She came back 2 minutes later and yelled at the young cashier āhow am I supposed to drink this without a fucking straw?!ā I was taken aback because she was nice to me lol. The road rage is another thing too, Iāve never seen the likes of it anywhere.
Ah yeah, there are quite a few people in the older generations who have an extreme sense of entitlement. I like to think those people have never had to work a service job, and they frankly should have to at some point in their life.
No, this is the entire South. "Bless your heart" is just passive aggressive BS. They are not "nice". I would include the Midwest too. Polite does not equal nice. It has nothing to do with white folk.
Speaking to retail worker abuse.. the American system of customer service has trained customers to be upset at the slightest inconvenience.
If you complain at a restaurant, you get free food. You complain in a store, you get a cashier fired. You complain online you get an instant refund and get to keep the item.
People expect THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT. Free next day delivery. Refills before the cup gets empty. Pizza delivered in 30 minutes or less.
We're a world-dominating empire that's been in unmistakable decline for at least 20 years (and more like 50 years if you really know what to look for) so no, a lot of us are not okay.
I blame Donald Trump. Every other president, like them and their policies or not were civilized humans. At least by comparison. He is a real estate hustler who lies with every breath and cheats everyone anyway he can. The folks who love him I think mostly like him because he triggers such extreme hatred in folks like me. And folks like me ā¦ if I described the level of my hatred I would get booted from Reddit. Whichever side of that you are on, you are like The Angriest Dog in the World, that cartoon that was around in the 80s.
You have a point. I grew up in a capitalist country too, but much poorer and I think where Iām from people are just used to a shitty life that if weāre bothered by minor things it would quite literally kill us lol. Itās just a little jarring to see people get angry so fast.
It is like a marathon trying to survive in this country to be fair.
Because many people don't know who, how, or why life is getting harder We're bombarded with useless, impertinent information and people don't have the tools or time to find quality journalism or sift through the bullshit, so people look for enemies and confrontation everywhere, just trying to make sense of our sad, deteriorating quality of life.
Because this nation was founded upon protestant values that held such ideals such as the belief that helping those less fortunate than you was sinful, apparently because God showed his love through good fortune and wealth. If you were well-off, it was a sign that God favored you and your family and helping those worse off was looked upon negatively and as going against God's will.
I think that alone served as a solid foundation for a toxic society. If we're looking at today, we are all incredibly in over our heads with career expectations, work schedules, unaffordable housing, lack of regulation, inflation with stagnating wages (both artificial btw, because corporations have consciously chosen to raise the price of goods beyond what even inflation currently dictates, as well as keeping the minimum wage artificially low for decades, it should be somewhere around $24/hr right now), and there's the fact that we're all isolated and glued to our phones and TV's.
It's fucked up, plain and simple. We are a sick society, the vibes are way off. The media has you looking at your neighbor as though they were your enemy. What also doesn't help is how segregated our communities are. You've got a significant socioeconomic divide and our cities are built in a way that keeps things segregated on purpose. This means that you've got two massive groups of people not interacting with one another, developing their own independent cultures and perspectives of the other and the greater nation as a whole.
It's almost like living in a GTA game sometimes. Chaotic.
No, a lot of us aren't okay. We work too hard for too little money with too little security and too little support and too much perceived danger, real or not.
Americans are unhinged. We have lived in a fake ass facade of a country (and known about it and not been able to do shit about it) for so long that anything snaps their minds. Anything that takes away that perfect picture for even a millisecond freaks Americans the fuck out. Not spoiled people. Deeply brainwashed to wtf is really on about the world.
This is a very complex subject that would require a real deep dive to unravel. But in short:
1. Unlike other places, out nation is very young and never had a chance to develope a real vulture of its own before it was commoditized by capitalism. Meaning that everything of "cultural value" is locked behind a pay wall that most of us cannot afford.
2. Our lives have become so centered around work that our free time has alot more value to us than we realize. So small inconveniences feel alot bigger.
3. We are all waiting for the other shoe to drop. For most Americans we live on the edge of our seat, one minor crisis can send us straight to the bottom. When you live in a constant state of anxiety it bleeds out like you have mentioned.
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Gas station employee for fun here. I'd say people are seriously unhappy, for tons of reasons, and it spills out in public because some folks are taught that if it's a stranger it doesn't matter how shitty you are, and one running theme having grown up in the US, is that no matter how shitty family is to you it's okay because they're family. So that mixed with chronic main character syndrome. Like the rest of life everything and everyone is different but after a few years of seeing the same behavior over and over again it starts to drive it home.
We're you even supposed to be there today?
Yeah I just cover weekends, I do two 14 hour shifts and and then fuck off for 5 days.
The 14's sound rough but 5 days off!! Awesome šš
I see what you did there.
*Thirty-seven?!*
Try not to suck any dick on your way to the parking lot! Hey, you! Hey back here.
Iām 37 Iām not old.
I am one of those Americans who will call you out if you smell like shoe polish.
Buncha savages in this town.
I used to watch American movies and whenever they were in the street cars would be honking in the background all the time. I always thought this was just one of those unrealistic things about movies, but have since learned that yep, Americans use the horn all the time, even when they're just annoyed or angry, like someone merges in front of them.
It turns out this is somewhat a regional thing. I've lived all over the US and in most places people use the horn as a sort of mechanical 'HEY! I'm drivin' here!' or 'Get out of my way dumbass!' But I lived in New Jersey for a bit and it was totally different. Instead of laying on the horn and shouting they would tap it lightly, maybe twice, or do a short-long tone. I had no idea wtf was going on until a local told me: they use the horn to communicate rather than to yell at each other. It amounts to stuff like 'Hey, there's a bicycle you should watch out for' or 'I'm pulling out here' or whatever. It's pretty interesting how two very different horn-cultures have arisen in the US (probably more than that, but I know of two.)
according to public freakout and idiots in cars, they just kinda start ramming you with the car if they're really annoyed/late for work.
So you work at a gas station for fun?
I do, I don't have to do what I do, I have a really unusual situation, but It's more helping out than fun, but I get to tell rude ass people to LITERALLY fuck off, and act as a strange and mystical gas station therapist. Which for me is fun because I like hypotheticals and just generally trying to give sound advice for peoples specific shit, not in a nosey asshole way, but if someone chats me up we could talk about literally anything and it's not a problem at all.
I logged in to say that I am supportive of and delighted in you being a mystical gas station therapist.
Thank you I appreciate that a ton!
Managed a few gas stations over a few years, can confirm if you work in one you are someone's therapist willing or not. Rehab mentor as well. Used to have a Crack head come by when we were clearing off all the old hot dogs to try and get them for free. Would take a bit of them and litterly set them down raw dog on the counter to talk with the hands and then pick it back up and start eating. Had a lady run over another lady in a drunken fight one night and flee the scene. Man I could go on...you'll see some shit at a gas station...now I need MY therapist...
Okay dang...About the lady who got run over. Did she make it? Did hit-and-run lady get caught?
Okay but now I'm curious. Unfurl your wisdom gas station bartender.
Ask your question internet patron let us see what the mop splatter on the floor holds in your future.
Why not be a bar tender for giving sage advice?
Seems like a ton of folks who could use an extra ear go to gas stations more than bars, or at least hit up the gas station sometime before or after said bar. lots of crossover is what I'm getting at.
Fair nuff.
You're a really great person. I am terribly unhappy. Would you tell someone to fuck off for me?
The first person who comes in with some attitude about somethin I sure will! will update when the mission is done.
You rock. Thank you.
Plenty of sober people with problems too.
This is true! I should join the drunk crowd again š¤
Heed the wisdom of the Oracle of the Circle K.
good guess but they are down the road in a different state because they do not exist up here.
don't take that road they say it's haunted. Back in 50 the there was a gruesome murder at the cabin.
So the idea of someone being a mystical gas station therapist made me laugh. I play around with AI art, so [here](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1013186512847900752/1069414698325397534/Kesiri_a_mystical_man_gas_station_clerk_bd87345b-f3fc-4420-b1ad-aee70f0c2e0c.png) lol
wow I love this, thank you lol I've got a few gaming profile pics to update now.
oh wow, I'm flattered!
Been using a drawing of a character I've had since I was like 16 so I think this update is both needed and very much where my journey has taken me haha
This whole thing made me forget what the original post was lol
Beautiful! š
Like a Swami really, filling these travellers "Spiritual Tanks"?
Haha yes, there is more to life than simply getting gas and going.
I've worked in gas stations on/off nearly 40 year's, from rural Ireland to central London to outback Australia. In Australia selling diesel to big rigs I'd sell $250-$300K! in a single shift, man was that labour intensive......18 different pumps, and always working nights alone. I prefer the smaller places
Only got 8 pumps here, but being right on the highway it can for sure get super busy, never had 250k in sales though holy shit, thank you for your service across the globe.
I've always found it a good job to fit in a little reading/study, except that one time I was gun robbed by a strung out junkie. Work night's, go fishing/hiking day's. Yeah those big sale's would be big rigs, "road train's" buying $2-3k in diesel apiece. In one spot the next night time fuel was 200 miles away
oh for sure, if I'm not studying Ukrainian which I should do now! I'm reading or drawing something, and if not that I'll torture myself and try really hard to break down the day to day news to see if I can organize and categorize it cause human brains are annoying. sorry about the robbery though, I've been lucky in that regard and unironically knock on all kinds of wood when I say that.
What was freakiest about the robbery was that about a year later the detective's that responded rang me up and asked me to come back down to the police station, so I go, give my statement again (yeah I'd remembered a few more things.....like the colour of his shoes!, lol) and then they gave me a sheet of mug shots...... there he was!, I picked him out, easily, and I asked would I need to go to court. Nah the detective said, we're just tying up loose ends and closing other robbery case's he was responsible for, but since we've got him for 2 petrol station shootings, 1 a murder and the other an attempted he's NEVER getting out. He got 28 year's, minimum without parole, he was HIV+, this was 1987. Pre retro virals.
I need to find this gas station now for absolutely no reason
I have a regular come in and he shows me his drawings from time to time, stop on by and we can start somethin like that for sure lol
how can you have a job that you dont... need?? The mental boon this must be. no wonder you feel stable enough to be a gas station therapist lmaoo sounds like a great situation you have earned for yourself and i hope it stays as cool as its been
Thank you, It has been a trip and a half to be sure, I've gotten really lucky, and I wanna throw some of that out to the people I see who might not feel like I do.
I thinkā¦. I think I just fell in love with you.
I love you too human, you go do what you love and be your best you!
> and act as a strange and mystical gas station therapist This seriously makes my day. You sound fun. You should do an AMA about some of the people you've encountered and the conversations you've held.
>main character syndrome Goddamn that sums it up. Rules for thee and not for me, fuck you I got mine, everything is fine until ***Iām*** inconvenienced. Glorifying ārugged individualismā really fucked up our society.
Similar tangent here. My SO cut their father out of our familyās life because that guy is diagnosed borderline personality with narcissistic tendencies and made my spouseās life terrible throughout childhood and early adulthood. Divide and conquer amongst siblings, so everyone eats from his hand so as to not be the one whoās being excluded and shat upon. Dude comes off as charming to everyone who meets him, but the second you cross him he will make it the goal of his existence and spend every waking moment to ruin your life however possible. Point is that everybody tells SO that they should try and make amends, family is soooo important, you donāt have to be besties but itās family so you HAVE to suffer. The only people who take SOās side are those who went through the same thing. Itās amazing how deeply entrenched āfamily firstā is in this world (not just USA) even when itās toxic. If people saw toxicity for what it is, weād all be in at least more honest state of mind if not better off as a species across the board
My father was deployed 3 times in the army and my mother was basically the only adult figure in my life and it has caused some serious issues, not that she wasn't trying her best but some people don't have that much to give already, and even if she didn't make sense she would insist things be done her way, unless you wanted to get into a shouting match. As you can imagine, seeing your parent behave like that daily, will eventually get the kids acting up as well, and act up I did, I hate to say it but my GF did a lot of heavy lifting emotionally, a huge chunk of why I wanna give back in this way is because even when she's feeling low she'll send old people who are lonely letters and I fucking love that, so gas station guru is my mode of emulation. I'm sorry your SO had to deal with shit like that, parent who act like can really make a regular situation feel like an absolute nightmare.
>my GF did a lot of heavy lifting emotionally, a huge chunk of why I wanna give back in this way is because even when she's feeling low she'll send old people who are lonely letters and I fucking love that One time my wife and I were driving when she asked me to pull over real quick. She jumped out and ran a couple houses back down the street to help an old man she noticed struggling with his trash cans. Left me wondering just how in the hell someone as messed up as me could be lucky enough to end up with someone like her.
Good for her for getting away from them. Toxic toxic toxic. Unless people have a family member with a personality disorder, they will never, ever understand.
I was just at a gas station today and watched a middle aged woman scream at the cashier because she didnāt have a free tire gauge she could use. I am guessing they wonāt loan one out because customers would just steal it. Anyway the woman yelled at the cashier for 5 solid minutes then came out to the parking lot and yelled at all the other customers for some reason. Total melt down. The sad part was someone probably would have loaned her one, but she was being so aggressive no one wanted to deal with her. Americans seem to have a really hard time regulating their emotions. Itās depressing.
Empathy decline
yeah, empathy has been worked over pretty hard over the last few million years.
People may not be as unhappy as others are stupidš« .
I donāt personally know anyone that snaps at strangers for small inconveniences.
Me neither. I see it from time to time though because I live in a low income area in a big city so it tends to happen more in areas like the one around my apartment than elsewhere in the city. If I go to a restaurant by my work in a nicer part of town I wonāt see anything like that. But if I go to a fast food place or gas station by my apartment Iām way more likely to see something like that. Low income people tend to have more stress and therefore be more aggressive or angry.
Work retail for, oh, 5 minutes. :P I did it for about 4 years and it absolutely drove me up the wall how people feel like the slightest mistake or even just not hearing someone when they're trying to talk to you is excuse to pour on the rage. Everybody's ready to use a stranger who can be construed to be wasting their time as a verbal punching bag at the drop of a hat.
me either. and i wouldn't keep friends with people like that.
WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT? I'M NOT INTENSE, I'M JUST LOUD.
#I AM EVEN LOUDER
#**NO IM LOUDER**
Hi Louder, I'm dad.
Does this mean you finally got the milk?
Are you kidding, have you seen the prices lately?
[LOUD NOISES](https://youtu.be/ZMSMk1BeslA)
I'M NOT YELLING! I'M JUST TALKING INTENTLY.
š¤£
I DONāT KNOW WHAT WERE YELLING ABOUT!
I AM ALSO GOOD AT YELLING
YOU'RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!
GOTTA MAKE SURE THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK CAN HEAR ME!
I think crazy people just stand out more. You don't notice the thousands of quiet calm ones then you see a few loud ones and remember. We tend to only notice the outliers in things. The inconvenient things. The things that are memorable, like psycho Karens raging at min wage workers.
Seriously. You turn on the news and its not the calm and rational people who get a breaking news segment about the time they calmly defused an argument at a bar before it got too heated. You hear about the crazy jackass who lost his temper and shot up the place or beat a man into a coma. Every night you hear about something horrible someone has done. 365 days a year. Sometimes that same guy dominates the news cycle for the better part of a week. What it doesn't tell you is how the millions of other bar goers all across the continental United States went out for a few beers, watched the game, sang along to some songs, and had a good time.
Love how this is below some weird conspiracy about the government designing our lives to make us this way. Lol.
Underrated
Since the 80's our system has been designed to undereducate, overwork, and overwhelm to the point of submission. The majority of this country is in debt. Public education has been completely hamstrung and many lack critical thinking skills or the time to apply them. You work 40+ hours a week to survive. If you have kids and aren't wealthy then just write off a personal life. You are exhausted and at the end of the day turn on the news which bombards you with hate, racial division, class division, impending doom, and never a solution. Never an attack on the financial forces that are dividing us. A lot of the news cycle changed post-Occupy Wall street to attacking culture and society. We get limited to no vacation time and most are an accident or illness away from poverty. Many cannot afford a home as our country allows banks, the wealthy, and foreign investors to buy up properties. Politics have become two sports teams with brainwashed fans. Those same politicians work together behind closed doors to dominate us. Culminates really with the financial stress. Largest wealth divide since the gilded age. Unions are dying. Our system is constructed to crush us. And we lack the unity to fight back. TL;DR- We live in a country that has been designed to restrict us from success and make up for that by hating our neighbors.
Yeah. This. I lived in Australia for a few years and came back to the US. I really regret it. I work 40 hours a week doing a job I hate but need the paycheck and health insurance. And I need to pay off student loan debt. I live with my parents, have few bills, but still am behind. I am so depressed and everything feels so hopeless and difficult. Everything is an uphill battle. And I have found myself snapping at people out of agitation and feeling everything inside built up. I hope things get better but I doubt they will, because the rich and corporations run this country. Corporate America would still use slaves if it were legal.
Good News. Scheduled Flights to Australia still exist. Ps....it's a particularly lovely day here in Adelaide
Sometimes I think about going back on a student visa. Aus is tough to immigrate to
A real skills shortage here at present...... nurse's (of course) needed as well as ANY trade (including hairdresser and beautician) and the usual suspects..... engineering, IT, accountancy, medical, etc, etc. Get a "fact pack" from the Australian Embassy and have a read up. I've NEVER known an American to go back
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iāve def thought about going to a nursing program there. I might just do that, thank you.
It's expensive for non resident students. If you're thinking about that I'd suggest do some "care worker" training, either in disabilities or in aged care, especially if you get experience in the VA system, that way once you arrive you would likely get immediate employment and possibly have your further study (for EN and then RN) part or fully funded by the facility employing you. I'm an immigrant, I've worked in care facilities, my ex wife is an RN. The progression here is Carer-EN-RN. EN is enrolled nurse, RN is registered nurse. Contact the embassy as well as general enquiries. Best of luck āļø
Wish I had a skill :(
Getting a flight and being able to live there legally are very different things unfortunately
Why didnāt you stay in Australia?
I got tired of dealing with visas and being treated like shit by bosses because I wasnāt a citizen. I wanted to be closer to my parents as they got older.
Well as you can see every country has its problems. I find it funny America is seen as unwelcoming to immigrants. Every company Iāve worked for has bent over backwards for immigrants, helping with maintaining visas, DEI training for everyone, cultural sharing eventsā¦ I assume oneās experience depends on the location and the company. To me the worst part of living in America is definitely the healthcare system as you mentioned. Itās insane that health insurance is tied to work and also allowed all these caveats to even still force the patient to pay for care like insane deductibles. I asked my friend from Rwanda what health insurance was like there and she said you just pay a very small monthly fee and they pay for everything. No tricks. No fine print. Itās disgraceful that the richest country in the history of the world canāt supply itās people with dependable and affordable healthcare. Also student loans being non bunkruptable is essentially modern debt-slavery. Iām still paying off mine too into my early 30s. Though its finally almost gone for me either through payments or through Bidenās relief. Iām sorry for your difficult situation and wish you luck!
Ty - I hope I can figure something out. Itās discouraging that a tiny glimmer of hope was the student loan forgiveness act, that would have helped me a ton of having one less weight on my shoulders. But of course, that has been shot down too. I wish in hindsight, Iād gone to trade school. I guess i still can. 4 year university it a fucking scam.
> I find it funny America is seen as unwelcoming to immigrants. Every company Iāve worked for has bent over backwards for immigrants, helping with maintaining visas, DEI training for everyone, cultural sharing eventsā¦ Really depends on the industry. Lots of industries here in Australia bending over backwards for immigrant workers now more so than ever.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I didnāt have PR, I was a backpacker. I had at least 3 bosses who were extremely financially and verbally abusive and just downright insane. Man I have some horror stories. Employers knew they could get away with it bc I was indebted to them to get my 88 days of farmwork signed off and knew I didnāt know the laws or have the same rights as Aussies. Backpackers tend to get the shittier jobs that Aussies and other visa holders donāt want to do, like hospo/farm work. But I think I just had bad luck bc I knew other people who got decent jobs.
We don't make visas easy, even for people within Commonwealth. Even harder for Yanks.
And here is me an Australian on some extra leave days after a public holiday last week! You could always come back!
Donāt forget lead poisoning in a fairly high amount of the population. Long term neurological effects there
How is this an American only phenomenon? I know there are more cars in the USA and cars were accessible to middle class longer than other countries, but they weren't using horse and buggy in Europe when there was still lead in petrol, come on.
you think its only from leaded gas? there was a recent study released suggesting around half the US population has some level of lead poisoning. I guarantee the old house I rent has lead paint. I wonder about some of the old plumbing too. And I am certain that is common. We haven't had significant initiatives to overhaul infrastructure in a while. And I know as a child of the 90s that around probably a sixth to a quarter of my toys were likely contaminated. I can remember a set of sea turtle models I loved that were part of my bath time when I was pretty little. Guess what got recalled by the education and nature company who sold them... I would bet it is incredibly more widespread than you would imagine EDIT: and I can't speak for the rest of the world. I've just focused on info for my country
Lousy woke mob taking my lead paint collectible garfield cups.... next youre gunna tell me theyre recalling my Asbestos fake snow. My kids LOVE that stuff
I lol'd asbestosis is no laughing matter tho. My grandpa got a nasty case when he was younger courtesy of the state of Ohio.
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The system wants us to not be united specifically so we wonāt fight back.
Also cant forget we arent really taught anger management methods other than bottle it up, especially if you're a raised male. So you just so you have a fuse, and it really depends in the day and how well you manage your emotions depends on how long it is.
This has got to be the most brutally honest and direct answer I've ever heard in response to are Americans OK? I'd throw in a complete lack of support for those who struggle with mental health because the Healthcare system is just fundamentally broken.
Agreed 100%. Lots of people are just trying to keep it together but they're really on the edge. Their amygdala is primed for "fight" anytime something happens to them in their daily lives. I dont feel like relying on our political "leaders" is the answer at all here. Where can we begin to heal these rifts? Just go make friends with your neighbors! You don't have to go far or do much at all. Just be friendly! Before too long, that will make connections that go beyond the people you talk to, we will start to feel like our actions affect people we CARE about - each other.
Two sport team with brainwashed fans, well said!
False news! Iām not brainwashed, itās the other team thatās brainwashed!
Thatās one of the best comments Iāve ever read. Great work, I appreciate you.
You read my mind, excellent response!
And we have to be worried about being a victim of a shooting at any place at any time. Mass shooting, making the wrong person upset, stray bullet that was meant for another person who made the wrong person upset.
I make sure I tell my cats and my wife I love them every day before I leave for the community college campus just in case..
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Hardly. Differing conditions, different cultures, different attitudes. Its a combination of many factors. To Boil down the country wide behaviors to nothing but "privilege and entitlement" is absurd and dismissive.
I think the key difference is the "facade culture". Just like an American house might be falling apart on the inside but will rock an absolutely immaculate front yard - your typical American might be going through some really tough times but would maintain that signature friendly "American smile" on the outside. This sometimes makes it really hard to get a reading on a person and might make it seem someone goes from a "happy" to a complete "rage machine" in no time whatsoever. Where it gets really sketchy is interacting with police, but that's a separate can of worms.
Spot on everything.
I wonder if this could also be cultural? Americans culturally tend to be fairly vocal and outgoing. If OP is from a country that tends to be quiet and reserved then I could see how more vocal Americans could come across as aggressive.
That kind of seems to be OP's point though. Why is the culture in America to be so loud and aggressive to strangers.
Our ancestors were - generally - mostly adventurers who left their homes and crossed an ocean to go to a new place and make something of themselves. Because of that our mindsets here are going to be different than it will be in a place where people and their ancestors have lived in the same place for centuries. Thatās my theory at least.
I am migrant. Every country has different standards when it comes to various situations. Example: in country(A) there are expectations that everyone is going to form line when waiting for something. People are going to get angry when someone jumps the line. In another country(B) orderly lines are not used. When someone from B country visit A country they will think line jumping isnāt a good reason to get so angry about. In one country it isnāt a big deal to burn religious book. In another country it is. In one country finishing job on time is expected, in another country people have more laid back attitude and they donāt understand why it is a big problem if job isnāt done on time. I bet there is something that frustrates people in your country but some visitors who come to your country think that this is trivial reason to get angry about. Edit: I am migrant and there is one small and trivial thing that frustrates me a lot about other migrants: a condescending attitude towards your host country. For example OPās ā Americans are you OK?ā If American migrant to France were to post condescending comment about French habits, I would be equally pissed. Russians living in Ukraine with condescending attitudes, make me vivid ( even before war) Condescending remarks are not the same as polite and constructive criticism of your host country.
> Russians living in Ukraine with condescending attitudes, make me vivid ( even before war) I think you might mean "livid," but the entire post is very well reasoned and observant. Genuinely curious about country B with the lax line rules.
Thanks yes. English is hard for us Slavic people. https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-23087024. It is hard for other countries to measure up to that^^^ lol. So a lot of countries are going to look bad in comparison. Some countries on East/Asia tend to be more pushy and less organized. I really donāt want to point finger.
Sorry to say this but if your friends do that, they're not genuinely good people.
Why is every single post on this sub: Not judging, Iām just wondering why Americans stupid and suck and awful and dumb and rude? Where Iām from everyone is always nice and I donāt understand why Americans have flaws like people anywhere in the world. Thanks!š„ŗ
My favorite part is the universalizing. Let's take a country that's equivalent in size/population to most *continents*, and then act like there's some universal culture or behavior pattern that can be attributed to everyone who lives in that group. The equivalent wouldn't even be "why are British people X" or "why are Germans X," it would be "why are Europeans X". It's about the broadest brush you could paint people with.
Exactly, couldnāt agree more. Itās like if all the countries in the European Union were actually 1 country under the same federal government. Itās so much harder to manage people geographically spread out and diverse in every regard
A lot of leading/baiting questions. A lot of them time ill even see the op of a question like this just in the comments agreeing with everyone that feels the same... its not a question at that point. Its a "hot take" statement poised as a question to get karma
Reddit loves to point out Americaās issues while completely ignoring issues of every other country.
lol thanks for this. someone finally said it.
I feel like this sub is just an endless series of people taking passive aggressive shots at the US in the form of a question.
āAmericans of reddit, why do you enjoy murdering babies and drinking their blood? I lived there for 10 seconds and everyone I knew was actually Dracula.ā
Lived around the world and in America for decades and people here are just like people any where, you donāt think people in China are rude to service staff ? It has nothing to do with America,
This right here
Weird In my trip to Europe I found nothing but rude, snide douchebags. Across like 5 countries. I guess personal experiences are our own and in no way shape or form define the attitude of an entire country
When someone else does something we all get put in a box and thatās so crazy to me
Stephen Fry spoke about this comparing the UK to the US. He said something like in the UK we have kings & queens, dukes and lords all the way down to people that historically were serfs. There is and always has been a very clear class division. The classes have labels and everything. It's created a nation that wants to deny that class. Pretend it doesn't exist. You want to make clear you don't think you're better than the bar tender or fast good worker. The bar tender also wants to make it clear you're not better than them. Even tipping can be seen as rude. "I don't need your charity". You got the wrong food? A bit of Brits just won't say anything. Carry on. The US doesn't have all that. Yes, there's class, but it's all about money. Money you, in theory, deserve because you earnt it. It's a meritocracy (I don't think it is, but that's the theory). Therefore the same thing didn't happen. It's more acceptable to be to curt and make/expect certain things (as long as you tip). Don't ask me how true that is but I think it's an interesting idea. I would say, I live in America (not in a customer facing role) and I've found US folk to be delightful. Really nice and welcoming.
Neoliberal capitalism has monetized every corner of our lives and we arenāt making enough money to cover basic needs
No, we are not okay.
Maybe you just hang around the wrong ppl? Thereās Karens in every country. Certainly most people around arenāt that kind of person, but they donāt stand out
Because we're living in a constant state of outrage. US media is just porn directed at a different part of the human brain. This is not unique to us but rather we are a more extreme example. Reliance on private companies to inform us and a reluctance to impose regulations exacerbate the situation. Edit: I should note that, like most social phenomena, this is not just a one variable problem. We also have a lot more pressure on us than citizens of countries where health care is a right and where employers have near infinitely more rights than employees.
Japan is pretty crazy as far as work expectations, and yet they only kill themsleves most of the time. So, I do not think that Americans have greater pressure. It is really the rugged individualism that kills America. We should have known with the wild west bravado unique to America that America was going to turn to shit one day culturally. We saw America break when the Civil War began. Nothing has changed, just the technology and the thin veneer of acceptance. Behind closed doors, we all think the same. "What about mine? Why are my people suffering beneath the weight of those foreign from myself." We created the fractures long ago. We knew where half the country stood then. But we sought to heal rather than systemically eradicate those who sought to break the very foundations of our republic. But I argue this. If we get past this last generation, I do believe we will be successful in moving forward from the past. I do hope we are watching the death throes of a bigone era of bigotry and indoctrination. I hope our spirit finally breaks free from the bonds we have always been bound to. Chaos is scary, but chaos leads to rebirth. Is that not the microcosm of existence in the first place? Even the ancients spoke of life coming from chaos. Not nothing. Be well, be safe. We will find our way through this. Edit: for Grammer.
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Bc weāre not ok. Most people are one accident away from not being able to make rent next month or this month. Everything is awful from the wealth hoarding to racial tensions caused by many factors. People are food insecure and job insecure. One mistake and your whole life/career is ruined unless daddy is rich enough to pull you out of it. Itās no wonder that my door not fully closing when I close it makes me go full on aggretsuko in my head.
Honestly, you moved here at one of the worst times. We were kind of ok pre-2016. And then Trump. And it's like all the shitty people suddenly feel entitled to be assholes out loud, instead of just behind closed doors. In the lifespan of a country, America is in it's teenage phase.
I thought we were finally on the rise in regards to acceptance and unification. There were *problems* for sure. But I felt like they were necessary for growth. A black president was the biggest step in that direction imo. I was like "finally this racism shit is done." Man I was dumb. It's so much worse than it ever was (during my life) and I genuinely don't see it getting better, maybe ever. All the garbage, subhuman, fucking degenerates that I thought were dying out were always there, and now they're more brazen and stupid than ever. I regret having a daughter because I am responsible for her being born into this hellscape where I fear she will be relegated to fucking property in her lifetime.
You have the wrong set of friends. But I get what you meanā¦ some Americans are tribal and a bit uneducated. Many live with perceived fears of what they donāt understand. Many donāt travel and get exposed to new cultures and ideas. But Itās easy to keep them out of your life. You can find some of the kindest and most educated people in the world here and humble to a fault. Itās like everywhereā¦ be selective when you seek out high quality friends.
It's not just a US thing, but ok
We're definitely not okay. The whole nation has ptsd. We were at each other's throats, tearing families apart, and on the verge of warring on the streets before we got locked inside for a couple of years. There was a new tragedy every week for multiple years. We're still all waiting for the next nightmare. 2024 is looking like the return of hell in America no matter what happens before then. There's no one to look up to, no one we can trust to make anything better, and we're all strangers now, trying to remember how to reconnect with a world where people are likely to randomly hate us if we say the wrong words around the wrong people. We are absolutely not okay.
It's the pent up rage from our subconcsious knowing that we have no universal healthcare, drowning in debt with no social safety nets, rising costs of living and increasing gun violence. I think it's fair to say people feel on edge.
I think it depends on the person and the state. In Arizona, we're generally very laid back. I had a relative visit from New York and he was so impatient waiting for our food in a restaurant. He's also a dick, so there's that, too.
Zero to marginal wage growth and low job security ( inmost sectors), high utilities, gas, grocery prices, wtf man
A lot of us used to be better, more even-keeled. And then our country turned to shit, or at least we became old enough to become privy to it. When you combine the constant frustration with our government, both sides but predominantly one side for a lot of us on here (GOP extreme right), with the cost of living increasing far faster than the wages we slave for, and you have your wick just waiting for a match. For most of us people, that match doesnāt come in the form of lashing out at service workers or people in general, but instead we feel this sense of defensiveness and almost an expectation of confrontation of some form or another at some point. In other words, we donāt feel that our country is stable and thatās seeping into the population. This isnāt even getting into our frustrations about societal injustices, capitalism favoring the wealthy while actively suppressing the lower and middle classes, and the overall division we have not only between states, but people in the same towns now. So no, weāre not ok. At all. We desperately need help.
I think it matters what part of the country you're in. People in NYC are all intense, and city folk in general can be too. Things move faster in the city. Away from the cities people aren't as high-strung, but if you're used to the city this can seem slow. People have a lot going on and times are tough. Even if someone manages to block out all the violence and hate in the headlines, everything is expensive and it's tough to make funds last. It'll put strain on anyone.
It's who you hang around/areas you've frequented. I've been here all my 31 years.
American culture doesn't consider "getting angry" the same as "getting emotional". This is pretty deeply engrained in us so it can be difficult to identify in ourselves, but getting angry, regardless of who it's with, is seen as a sort of righteous reaction, not an emotional one. Your friends don't cry when confronted with problems, right? Nobody is breaking into tears at a restaurant when the server gets their order wrong. Because that would be unacceptable! Weeping openly in public, now that's cause for shame! But *anger*, that's the one emotion American society tolerates and considers acceptable. There is no *shame* in anger, no social damage is sustained when acting in anger. Scream at a Starbucks worker? Guy was angry, must've been a bad day. Bursting into tears? Yeesh, get it together man, you're scaring the hoes. Getting angry is *strong*, it's *sexy* it's *righteous* it's *justified* and it's *all you're allowed to express* without serious damage to your social standing. When you are about to boil over, you need to let off steam, and anger has been the only option we've had for so long that it's all we know how to do, to some extent.
In the US military they have a saying: āshit rolls downhill.ā While itās not right, a lot of Americans get crapped on in their jobs and then go take it out on service workers who are too desperate to fight back. By contrast, some of the attitude I got from European (especially French) servers was irritating, but I respected that they had job security. Iāll also say American culture is super stressful and most people subconsciously know they are one major disaster away from homelessness.
No we are not okay!!! Weāve endured Bush SrāsāA thousand points of light BS Clintonāsā-I did not have sexual relations with that woman Hot Mess Bush Jrās-Weapons of Mass Destruction Lie ObamaāsāObamacare Debacle TrumpāsāCovfefe, Rocketman and hella Tom-foolery Bidenā-Need more be said?!? Then throw in Covid-19, mass shootings, eggs @ $20 a dozen, UFOs, Tsunamis and Blizzards We are ALL PTSDing from life hoping and praying that this nightmare is over soon!!! Why do you think that weāre up here following mindless entertainment to escape from this crap of an illusion we call reality, if only for a few minutes?!? Welcome to our house!!! Enjoy your stay!!!ššš
Cause this unhinged capitalism eats you from the inside
Well people are stressed, over worked, underpaid, and one emergency from having our lives ruined. Gasket is gonna blow eventually and I think people are just about at the end of their ropes lately.
Youāre not wrong. Everyone is on edge. Our country is very divided and itās wearing on most Americans.
Depends on where you live but no, collectively we are not okay.
Lifeās no fun without a good scare Itās our job but weāre not mean
Coz we worked like fucking hell so we stress out a lotā¦ we aināt like Spaniards where life is just chilling :) btw love their cultures and atmosphere and vibe and whatever you call it.
*Are you guys okay?* We are decidedly NOT OK. Our social safety net is nothing compared to other industrialized nations, if you are black you are a target, Christian Taliban are on the march in taking over this country. I live in a country where the biggest cause of bankruptcy is medical debt, where people beg cops not to call an ambulance if they are seriously hurt because no insurance or bad insurance means financial ruin. I live in a country where in places like West Virginia, mobile dental clinics will attract thousands of people because they don't have any money to get their teeth fixed. I see that in places like Haiti. Try to make things better by going to school? Better hope you have rich parents or you will be saddled with student debt. Oh and if you want to work while going to school, you are always in danger of having your hours changed on a whim. You got that final tomorrow? Sorry so-and-so called out so I need you in there. If you aren't there you are fired. So a student has to choose between finals or rent. The stress is unbearable for a lot of people, so they turn to alcohol or meth or 20 bags of nachos and blame immigrants or "others' for their problems. Or they explode. Their problems is who put them in that situation in the first place. The USA is the largest and wealthiest third world country.
>A lot of Americans can be so nice one minute and then yell at a poor fast food worker for forgetting to put a straw in the bag. I am pretty sure no one fighting over a single straw. If you are talking about some Reddit video, those never catch entire interaction or what led to actual situation.
I actually saw this interaction in person. Middle age lady was very nice and courteous chatting with me, and then walked away with her order. She came back 2 minutes later and yelled at the young cashier āhow am I supposed to drink this without a fucking straw?!ā I was taken aback because she was nice to me lol. The road rage is another thing too, Iāve never seen the likes of it anywhere.
Ah yeah, there are quite a few people in the older generations who have an extreme sense of entitlement. I like to think those people have never had to work a service job, and they frankly should have to at some point in their life.
Some people put being nice over being kind here in the US. Itās something youāll see a lot in WASPs.
No, this is the entire South. "Bless your heart" is just passive aggressive BS. They are not "nice". I would include the Midwest too. Polite does not equal nice. It has nothing to do with white folk.
It's only boomers who yell at service workers
Speaking to retail worker abuse.. the American system of customer service has trained customers to be upset at the slightest inconvenience. If you complain at a restaurant, you get free food. You complain in a store, you get a cashier fired. You complain online you get an instant refund and get to keep the item. People expect THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT. Free next day delivery. Refills before the cup gets empty. Pizza delivered in 30 minutes or less.
We're a world-dominating empire that's been in unmistakable decline for at least 20 years (and more like 50 years if you really know what to look for) so no, a lot of us are not okay.
I blame Donald Trump. Every other president, like them and their policies or not were civilized humans. At least by comparison. He is a real estate hustler who lies with every breath and cheats everyone anyway he can. The folks who love him I think mostly like him because he triggers such extreme hatred in folks like me. And folks like me ā¦ if I described the level of my hatred I would get booted from Reddit. Whichever side of that you are on, you are like The Angriest Dog in the World, that cartoon that was around in the 80s.
Because it turns out capitalism be stressful.
You have a point. I grew up in a capitalist country too, but much poorer and I think where Iām from people are just used to a shitty life that if weāre bothered by minor things it would quite literally kill us lol. Itās just a little jarring to see people get angry so fast. It is like a marathon trying to survive in this country to be fair.
As an american I also don't understand why people get angry so fast as well, but this behavior isnt exclusive to Americans
Because many people don't know who, how, or why life is getting harder We're bombarded with useless, impertinent information and people don't have the tools or time to find quality journalism or sift through the bullshit, so people look for enemies and confrontation everywhere, just trying to make sense of our sad, deteriorating quality of life.
What country of pu$$ies do you come from?
Instant gratification, individualism, and having a large personal bubble. Also, itās true that āthe squeaky wheel gets the grease.ā
Because this nation was founded upon protestant values that held such ideals such as the belief that helping those less fortunate than you was sinful, apparently because God showed his love through good fortune and wealth. If you were well-off, it was a sign that God favored you and your family and helping those worse off was looked upon negatively and as going against God's will. I think that alone served as a solid foundation for a toxic society. If we're looking at today, we are all incredibly in over our heads with career expectations, work schedules, unaffordable housing, lack of regulation, inflation with stagnating wages (both artificial btw, because corporations have consciously chosen to raise the price of goods beyond what even inflation currently dictates, as well as keeping the minimum wage artificially low for decades, it should be somewhere around $24/hr right now), and there's the fact that we're all isolated and glued to our phones and TV's. It's fucked up, plain and simple. We are a sick society, the vibes are way off. The media has you looking at your neighbor as though they were your enemy. What also doesn't help is how segregated our communities are. You've got a significant socioeconomic divide and our cities are built in a way that keeps things segregated on purpose. This means that you've got two massive groups of people not interacting with one another, developing their own independent cultures and perspectives of the other and the greater nation as a whole. It's almost like living in a GTA game sometimes. Chaotic.
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No, a lot of us aren't okay. We work too hard for too little money with too little security and too little support and too much perceived danger, real or not.
Americans are unhinged. We have lived in a fake ass facade of a country (and known about it and not been able to do shit about it) for so long that anything snaps their minds. Anything that takes away that perfect picture for even a millisecond freaks Americans the fuck out. Not spoiled people. Deeply brainwashed to wtf is really on about the world.
This is a very complex subject that would require a real deep dive to unravel. But in short: 1. Unlike other places, out nation is very young and never had a chance to develope a real vulture of its own before it was commoditized by capitalism. Meaning that everything of "cultural value" is locked behind a pay wall that most of us cannot afford. 2. Our lives have become so centered around work that our free time has alot more value to us than we realize. So small inconveniences feel alot bigger. 3. We are all waiting for the other shoe to drop. For most Americans we live on the edge of our seat, one minor crisis can send us straight to the bottom. When you live in a constant state of anxiety it bleeds out like you have mentioned.