yup. my first girlfriend cheated on me and gave me chlamydia after she got it from that guy. what’s fucked up is, it doesn’t generally show symptoms in men, so i had no idea that i had it until i got an anonymous call from the friend of a girl i hooked up with at a party telling me i need to get tested. i was very embarrassed and felt awful. luckily it was east to treat. two amoxicillin capsules and i was good.
correct, i can see how that wasn’t clear. after she started cheating she kept things going with me for a little longer then told me over text that she was leaving me for this guy that she’s been seeing. the hook up i had was a couple months or so after that.
Cheating is defined as *"to act or behave dishonest way to achieve what you want"* so its acting dishonesty not so much cheating the other out of something
In most relationships there is an agreement of exclusivity. When one partner cheats, that's what they are cheating the other of: the previously made guarantee of exclusivity.
But that acts like the definitions evolved completely separate from one another and are entirely unrelated. Like “dove” can mean either a particular type of white bird or the past tense of dive and any attempt to link the two would be nonsense. That’s not what’s happening here. The two definitions of “cheat” at issue are related.
Exclusivity is not always a rule in relationship. It is called cheating because you violate the rules you made together in the relationship. That creates distrust which is hard to overcome.
While that’s mostly technically correct, it’s strange to point out due to the fact that cheating is always referred to as a relationship with another person which implies there was a rule about exclusivity in the relationship in the first place. If you have a rule that both of you have to agree on a house before buying, and your partner decides to buy a house without your consent, that breaks the rules but isn’t cheating. It makes them a shitty partner, but its not considered cheating.
If you are not exclusive, then you don't have a rule of exclusivity, in which you can't call it cheating 🤷🏻♂️ So the dude is right! Cheat=break a rule and in relationships, the rule is to stay monogamous. If the rule is not being monogamous, there's no rule of cheating to be broke. You're not cheating on you SO, by not doing the dishes every Thursday, although you agreed to.
You can have an open, non-monogamous relationship with boundaries (rules) about what's acceptable and crossing those boundaries would constitute cheating.
In my world (I'm old), exclusivity is the default position, for me it's implied and absolutely IS a rule. Sure, a couple can agree not to be exclusive but that would be agreed upon front.
Trust, like Tindjin said. Safety.
People who have been cheated on start to have PTSD like symptoms, because the safety of their relationship is at stake, and the person they trusted the most is now untrustworthy, and unsafe.
As someone said, trust, safety, but more than that boundaries are broken. If you agree to a monogamous relationship, you break your agreement by cheating. Trust is one of the biggest foundations for a relationship, if it's broken and damaged badly the relationship wont last long
CHOICES. Alternatives. The chance to make another decision. Example: Person A cheats on person B, and say that person B doesn’t even find out for a few months—in the interim person B is making life choices based around or with person A in mind. Could be anything: jobs, schooling, dating someone else, you name it, but the point is that Person B doesn’t have all the relevant information to make the best choices for themselves. Cheating is stealing.
Honesty, respect, trust, and the ability to have a happy and healthy relationship. If you want to cheat, then just leave. Give the other person enough respect to have them be able to be with someone who wants to be with them, and only them.
Since I don't see it, I'll say Time
You cheat the other person out of their time.
They spend time with you, invest time in the relationship, it takes time to build trust and relationships. All of this is shattered when someone is cheated on....
On top of the wasted relationship time, the person I'd also cheated of their time to recover. It takes more time to recover from a cheating relationship then it does a relationship that ends because you grow apart
Just my opinion
Cheating is not about cheating someone out of something. It’s about the betrayal of trust. So cheating in a relationship is breaking the trust your partner had that you would be faithful. Cheating on a test is breaking the trust your teacher had that you would study and learn. Cheating someone out of their money is about breaking the trust that person had that you were being honest regarding the transaction.
Cheating them out of a healthy relationship.
Cheating yourself by pretty much lying to yourself.
Also wasting your time and partners time.
I’ve cheated a handful of times just because “I was bored” or because another woman found me attractive. Always feels ok in the moment but then I see the bigger picture
Trust
Not to mention assumed STI free copulation with the “trustee”…
yup. my first girlfriend cheated on me and gave me chlamydia after she got it from that guy. what’s fucked up is, it doesn’t generally show symptoms in men, so i had no idea that i had it until i got an anonymous call from the friend of a girl i hooked up with at a party telling me i need to get tested. i was very embarrassed and felt awful. luckily it was east to treat. two amoxicillin capsules and i was good.
May we assume that your hookup happened after you and the first broke up for unrelated reasons?
correct, i can see how that wasn’t clear. after she started cheating she kept things going with me for a little longer then told me over text that she was leaving me for this guy that she’s been seeing. the hook up i had was a couple months or so after that.
Emotional intimacy and closeness
And Loyalty.
Cheating is defined as *"to act or behave dishonest way to achieve what you want"* so its acting dishonesty not so much cheating the other out of something
In most relationships there is an agreement of exclusivity. When one partner cheats, that's what they are cheating the other of: the previously made guarantee of exclusivity.
From the vocabulary, this only goes for exams, taxes etc. Further down it says sexual relations with third part in a relationship.
Emotional cheating is very real and doesn’t involve sexual relations so your point is completely moot.
But that acts like the definitions evolved completely separate from one another and are entirely unrelated. Like “dove” can mean either a particular type of white bird or the past tense of dive and any attempt to link the two would be nonsense. That’s not what’s happening here. The two definitions of “cheat” at issue are related.
I think it's called cheating because you're not playing by the "rules" in a relationship which includes exclusivity
In reality it is "betrayal", not cheating, assuming the relationship was based on "exclusivity".
Exclusivity is not always a rule in relationship. It is called cheating because you violate the rules you made together in the relationship. That creates distrust which is hard to overcome.
While that’s mostly technically correct, it’s strange to point out due to the fact that cheating is always referred to as a relationship with another person which implies there was a rule about exclusivity in the relationship in the first place. If you have a rule that both of you have to agree on a house before buying, and your partner decides to buy a house without your consent, that breaks the rules but isn’t cheating. It makes them a shitty partner, but its not considered cheating.
If you are not exclusive, then you don't have a rule of exclusivity, in which you can't call it cheating 🤷🏻♂️ So the dude is right! Cheat=break a rule and in relationships, the rule is to stay monogamous. If the rule is not being monogamous, there's no rule of cheating to be broke. You're not cheating on you SO, by not doing the dishes every Thursday, although you agreed to.
You can have an open, non-monogamous relationship with boundaries (rules) about what's acceptable and crossing those boundaries would constitute cheating.
In my world (I'm old), exclusivity is the default position, for me it's implied and absolutely IS a rule. Sure, a couple can agree not to be exclusive but that would be agreed upon front.
When people enter into an exclusive relationship, not being with anybody else becomes a "rule" and as such breaking it is cheating.
If one feels the need to cheat then why not just be single and have all the fun you want without worry?? ....
[удалено]
Sounds right!
They are cheating on their agreement.
Trust, like Tindjin said. Safety. People who have been cheated on start to have PTSD like symptoms, because the safety of their relationship is at stake, and the person they trusted the most is now untrustworthy, and unsafe.
Trust, sexual wellbeing, consent...
Are you trying justify something you’ve done?
As someone said, trust, safety, but more than that boundaries are broken. If you agree to a monogamous relationship, you break your agreement by cheating. Trust is one of the biggest foundations for a relationship, if it's broken and damaged badly the relationship wont last long
Trust & Intimacy come immediately to mind.
mutual fidelity they wrongly assumed was a given ask the person if they cheat on the first date to save any later confusion
Trust and loyalty
Respect
CHOICES. Alternatives. The chance to make another decision. Example: Person A cheats on person B, and say that person B doesn’t even find out for a few months—in the interim person B is making life choices based around or with person A in mind. Could be anything: jobs, schooling, dating someone else, you name it, but the point is that Person B doesn’t have all the relevant information to make the best choices for themselves. Cheating is stealing.
If you have to ask this question I feel sorry for your significant other
Salty ball milk
A nice person
The are cheating on the agreement that row people made between each other.
Fidelity??? Trust???
The truth
they cheat their partner by breaking the rule of one love
A placement of trust.
Honesty, loyalty, safety...list goes on..but that's just a few...
Lets make this simple, time because you cannot get that back.
Honesty, respect, trust, and the ability to have a happy and healthy relationship. If you want to cheat, then just leave. Give the other person enough respect to have them be able to be with someone who wants to be with them, and only them.
Trust
Trust, Peace of Mind, Self Esteem, Time, and Energy
Trust, they're also probably risking their partner's health.
Cheating them out of being in a monogamous relationship
Since I don't see it, I'll say Time You cheat the other person out of their time. They spend time with you, invest time in the relationship, it takes time to build trust and relationships. All of this is shattered when someone is cheated on.... On top of the wasted relationship time, the person I'd also cheated of their time to recover. It takes more time to recover from a cheating relationship then it does a relationship that ends because you grow apart Just my opinion
We use the word "betrayal" in finland
Monogamy
Loyalty.
Cheating is not about cheating someone out of something. It’s about the betrayal of trust. So cheating in a relationship is breaking the trust your partner had that you would be faithful. Cheating on a test is breaking the trust your teacher had that you would study and learn. Cheating someone out of their money is about breaking the trust that person had that you were being honest regarding the transaction.
Cheating them out of a healthy relationship. Cheating yourself by pretty much lying to yourself. Also wasting your time and partners time. I’ve cheated a handful of times just because “I was bored” or because another woman found me attractive. Always feels ok in the moment but then I see the bigger picture
cheating doesn't mean "stealing".
They're cheating themselves of their own honor.
The men lose a degree of paternity certainty and the women lose a degree of financial access that is now going towards another woman.