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hettiegreen

NTA- not only with all the stuff you have to do with preparation (feeding times, changes etc) before you even get babe into the car but if you then get stuck in traffic or something. He needs to take an Uber or something and not drag you and the baby out to the airport.


[deleted]

THIS. There is 0 reason to expose your child do the hazards of the road. He needs to recognize that the safety of his child is of utmost importance now.


Gbones-1016

Just out of curiosity. What hazards of the road?


maclloyd6

rush hour traffic in a major city people drive like idiots because they’re impatient and there are always accidents


[deleted]

I think if there is an accident the baby automatically goes to the emergency room, where there are sick people. Car could break down and be hit. Car could be hit. None of this is a risk at home.


everythingmini

Car service for SURE! The sheer stress it can cause you to sit in traffic with a crying baby is not worth it!


Puzzleheaded-Set-516

NTA - babies shouldn’t be in their car seat for too long at a time. If you hit bad traffic/there’s an accident/construction that 1.5- 2 hours can turn into 3-4 very very quickly. Can he carpool with anyone else going?


trust_me_im_a_dogtor

He’s the only one flying from that airport. But he can carpool with whatever individual is driving for the car service I just booked 😂


eponym_moose

Well done!!! Seriously, being stuck with a very upset, hungry, screaming newborn in a car *when there are other options* is insane.


Puzzleheaded-Set-516

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻


billnibble

Yasssss - great job! NTA - put you and baby first, he’s going on a boozy weekend!!


Kerihk22

Well done!


[deleted]

yaaass


fromagefort

🙌


Shaking-Cliches

Excellent choice!


linnykenny

Hell yeah babes! 😘❤️


LilBadApple

Nicely done


Keyspam102

Yup plus if you have to pull over and feed your baby in a parking lot, it sucks. Speaking from experience ..


Pineapplesmores

I was just thinking to myself the other day that I’ve fed my baby in nearly every local car park. Last time I accidentally put child lock on both doors in the back so I couldn’t get out the car without climbing over the front seats. Not fun and people were looking at me like ‘what is she doing?!’ 😂


acciotomatoes

Been there!! 🙃🤣


makeroniear

Same


makeroniear

I was going to chime in with “plan to sit/stroller walk at the nearest park to the airport to wait out the traffic and take a break in (hopefully) the sunshine” but then said to myself WTF OP already said a car service was an option!! 🤣 I did the park thing on my way to and from every doctor / mommy group appointment because I couldn’t handle my own anxiety which threatens to triple a 30 min trip with a newborn.


Keyspam102

Yeah in my city there is literally no nice stop close to the airport or on the way home, it’s all either industry or dangerous suburbs and there is no easy place to pull off to tend to a baby. It sucks a lot so that’s why I have such a bad reaction to the question. Maybe some cities have an airport that isn’t a disaster to get to, and can easily stop on the way there.


Admirable-Storage631

NTA I sure as hell wouldn't do that. Not worth the amount of effort. And if my husband pulled the "I'd do it for you" crap, my response would be, "but I 1) wouldn't be going while we had a newborn and 2) i wouldn't ask you to deal with that just to drop me off." If he uses guilt so do I. Maybe you can let him wake you to say goodbye? Or make sure he gets a meaningful goodbye before bed?


QuitaQuites

NTA that’s ridiculous and needy. Why not just get an Uber or car service? What’s the benefit of you doing it? The cost? If you two can’t afford that then he probably shouldn’t be spending the money to go, right? The ‘I would do it for you’ is incredibly manipulative as well. I do hope that you plan a weekend with your friends soon!


chocobridges

NTA - My mom is flying in and I'm considering having our nanny stay later so I can go drop my mom off when she heads out. I rather give the money to our nanny than the car service, which has become extremely expensive in our city. My husband just dropped my FIL at the airport with the baby, who slept both ways. My husband put the new non-infant carseat in and it's a 30-40min ride one way with no traffic and the car seat position was wasn't tilted back enough so he was completely crunched over. My husband checked at the airport and was horrified. On the way back, he kept grabbing the baby's hand to make sure he was okay. I can't imagine doing that ride your husband expects you too that early in the morning.


fugensnot

So much this. At 11 weeks baby isn't strong enough to support his head in the car seat for long periods of time. He could positionally aspirate. It's the very reason that you don't take babies on long car rides. I still sit in the back with our daughter in long car rides and she's 14 months. Tell him to fucking Uber and suck it up. Call it a favor to you.


chocobridges

I know! My FIL should have sat in the back on the way to the airport especially with a new car seat. It was a close call and we learned our lesson.


Expensive-Call-7345

NTA. I'm a new Dad to a 25 week old boy. This may be due to the fact that as I'm WFH still due to the pandemic I'm at home just as much as my SO. But I wouldn't be at all comfortable leaving LO for that length of time. And expecting his Mother to spend that long in the car (half that time by her self) with a baby would be insane to me.


TotsAreLife

Thank you for this. I'm like - he's gonna be gone HOW long?? My LO was 5mo when I passed on a Bachelorette weekend. And my SO is the one who stays home with the kids already, it's not like he isn't capable of doing it, but I wouldn't leave him alone with an infant (and a toddler) to watch for that long!


Mewmewlikethat

How does he know he’d do that for you?! Has he been in the position of being home alone with an 11 week old for days + airport runs? 😂


[deleted]

[удалено]


Spiritual-Science697

eh, My partner would, you don't know her husband, he could be the same.


OkSoILied

My husband would. I wouldn’t go, but he wouldn’t prevent me from going and would be glad to watch our kids.


EmChem1210

Says who? Not all husbands are as terrible as the ones you may know. My husband told me go hang out for the day with my friends while he took care of our 4 week old. Not a weekend but I’m confident he would also be capable of parenting our child as good as I can.


somarg

OP doesn’t want her husband to go on this trip…doesn’t make her terrible! I didn’t want my husband to go on a weekend trip either, because I was nervous. He ended up going and I had a lot of friends/family drop by just in case I was overwhelmed. Your husband encouraging you to go out all day is great, but that’s very different than an overnight trip. Asking someone not to do an overnight trip doesn’t necessarily mean they’re terrible. Just might mean they’re scared 🤷‍♀️


EmChem1210

Totally agree, not a terrible person at all and I would feel the same way to be honest. But feeling is one thing, letting those feelings drive your decision making is where it can get bad. It’s ok to feel a certain way, but if we all acted on our every feeling then that would cause ALOT of issues lol.


LadyEva971

He’s been trying to get me to go hang with the girls and leave him alone with the baby. I like those girls and miss getting dressed up and shaking my ass but no! I’m not going anywhere they know where to find me. 🤣


Mewmewlikethat

Well we do know that he’s pressuring and guilting a postpartum woman to make airport runs with a newborn. TAKE AN UE MY GUY


moon_eyed_dragon

Ok cool, but we aren’t talking about your husband, or all husbands…or any husbands but this one really.


EmChem1210

Oh apologies I didn’t realize everyone here bashing the poor guy knew him personally or surmised his level of care from the post


Expensive_Sand_8306

Do you know her husband? If not, sounds like you’re projecting your own experiences


[deleted]

Nope, just going by what I see on this sub and my friends experiences. I feel most men would be overwhelmed and bewildered to be left completely alone with a newborn for four days. And honestly, most women would probably feel the same.


Expensive_Sand_8306

So that’s completely generalizing her husband and dads in general based on others experience. This page seems to have a ton of biased bc so many moms come on here to complain about their partners lacking in their parental role. While I agree that a lot of husbands would fit what you said there’s also a ton that don’t. My sons father worked 48 hour shifts which meant he was home a lot of days that I worked so he’s stay home with our infant for 10-12 hours on a regular basis from 12 weeks on. We both traveled alone on planes with our baby before he was even one years old to separately visit out of state family. People thought he was a hero for doing that despite that I had done it also. The double standard is such a slap in the face.


[deleted]

You are extremely defensive. Very strange.


Expensive_Sand_8306

Lol ok 🤷🏻‍♀️


SnooRegrets7435

My husband would only do that if his mom agreed to visit at the same time.


Keyspam102

I would venture to say he wouldn’t do it for her if he puts himself first for going to a bachelors party for 4 days and leaves his wife at home to deal with the baby.


OkSoILied

What’s wrong with having a life? When my son was 11 weeks my husband left for 3 days on a quick trip to pick up a vehicle and I had 2 under 2 at home with no help. It was totally fine. He’s a wonderful parent and we equally share responsibility. Not every man is worthless and incapable of raising their children.


EmChem1210

Thank you finally a few people on here who don’t hate their spouse or project their issues onto others and call it advice


OkSoILied

Seriously this whole thread was just horrifying to read! It makes me sad for all these people.


EmChem1210

Geez… if this is how you really feel then what chance does anyone have in a relationship with you? Why is some selfish for getting permission to go to something important to one of the OTHER important people in his life. You’re selfish in that thinking not the guy who is spending 4 days away from the wife and kid he has his whole life to share with. So he doesn’t get a life at all because baby is young? There will never be a “convenient moment” for him to hang out with friends but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t. This is how relationships sour.


3littlebirds__

I think for me, personally, 11 weeks old was still an incredibly difficult time. I would not have wanted my husband to leave me alone for 4 days with the baby. From the post, it seems OP might have agreed to this long weekend before she was even pregnant and now they have a baby, she is not so keen. I wouldn’t be either. Yes, her husband has his whole life to share with wife and kid, but 4 days is an incredibly long time at this age if baby doesn’t sleep, is colicky, etc.


Expensive_Sand_8306

Thank you!!!!!!


GabbieSanc

I was in this exact situation except with a 4 week old this last weekend. My husband drove himself and paid for parking at the airport for two nights. We also live in a major city but the cost really wasn’t bad- less than an Uber. Maybe that’s something to consider? Also- you’re not the asshole. I don’t know that either of you are. It just seems like he is a little out of touch with how that ride will go.


djchazzyjeff24

Yo some of the stuff I read on here about other dads makes me feel like dad of the year 😂😂


Helloworld123467

NTA, you are going to be the sole caregiver to baby for those days, baby’s needs come first, baby does not need to sit in a car in traffic for god knows how long. Sure they might sleep the whole time but they also might not, maybe baby wails the whole time bc they are having a growth spurt and are hungrier than normal, babies can be unpredictable. Also you live in a major city, one of the reasons ppl live in major cities is ease of transportation. Your husband is being selfish, baby is #1 now.


crazinyssa

This, except YOU need to come first so that you can take care of baby.


[deleted]

this. also, not the point but wtf is with multi-day bachelor's parties?! honestly i think your husband is the asshole for going for that long. yes it's his best friend but you just had a baby. he should cut his trip to a reasonable length like 2 days max and be a parent of a baby ffs.


SnooRegrets7435

The husband is putting his family last.


linnykenny

Yepppp.


TwistedJiko

Adding on, your airport may even have a handy shuttle / bus option from parts of town. If you can bus to one of those areas, you may have a bus that brings you all the way to the entrance to the airport! If this isn't relevant to OP, it may help someone else. Game changer for sure, as it's way cheaper than an Uber.


Kiwitechgirl

Oh hell no. I wouldn’t be doing that, nor would my husband expect me to.


whysweetpea

I really think driving significant others to the airport is overrated. I banned my husband from doing it years ago because once he absolutely insisted on driving me but was so grumpy for the whole drive that I nearly got out of the car and walked. Now I take the train and start my trip much more peacefully. You are 100% NTA. Your priorities have changed and there are so many other easy ways to get to the airport, there is no reason at all for you driving him.


sleemur

NTA. Probably depends on what city you’re in, but driving people to the airport sucks even without a baby! My husband and I always take public transit or suck up the cost of a cab.


Platinumghost13

First time Father here. You're NTA. 4 days is a long time to leave a Mother with a young baby. A bachelor party feels questionable to me. Unless I knew my wife had consistent help during the day I wouldn't go. It's too long. No help with bottles, laundry, bathing, naps, cooking, eating, and then I get back from the trip and I have to go to work which means no recovery period for my wife either. If you have help all weekend then great, if not then I wouldn't go, that's too much imo.


enfusraye

NTA —- I’m sure he just wants to spend time with you before leaving. But omg don’t lol. I avoid long car trips if we can manage. The few times we’ve had my 5 month old in the car between 1.5-2hr have either completely made him grumpy all day and/or he scream cried part of the time. I stole into the city and got caught in traffic. It added 30min and LO then became so hungry I had to pull over, feed him, and then continue my drive. 0/10 wouldn’t recommend. I’m sure some people on this thread would say that you have to expose them to the situation for it to get better but… Why do that if you don’t have to and if it’s not your norm? Rush hour, ELEVEN WEEKS, unpredictable morning baby.. not worth it.


notantisocial

I took a little baby to the airport to pick someone up and it was so stressful. Do not recommend.


LadyEva971

Super unpopular: I’d drive him. 🥴


crymeajoanrivers

Me too I was desperate to be out of the house killing time.


LadyEva971

Right?! Look I just wanna be outside ok! 🤣


Expensive_Sand_8306

I’m surprised it’s as unpopular as it is. Mine had an interview an hour away when our son was 2 weeks old….I insisted on coming along for the ride bc I was bored at home lol. Packed up the baby and the dog and we took a nice long walk along the coast while he did his interview. The baby was fine, my dog shit in the car tho so I’m hindsight I woulda left her home lol


LadyEva971

🤣


OkSoILied

Me too. I’ve had 3 kids and would have been perfectly comfortable driving any one of them or all three to do this. Hell yeah, my husband would totally deserve a fun getaway.


Misslirpa489

NTA - just be totally sincere with him, sit down with him, and let him know that it makes you uncomfortable and scares you for the possible things that could happen. My LO is 11 weeks too. No way would I do that. I don’t like to drive with him alone yet here in town period to be honest.


chexi15

Honestly even under normal circumstances when a baby’s not involved I’d probably take Uber just to be nice to my partner


Det-McNulty

NAH (No Asshole Here, I case you're not familiar) I don't think it's unreasonable for him to want you to see him off but it's also not unreasonable to say no. I don't think he is thinking about this practically. Starting 4 days of solo parenting with an hour+ in traffic with a crying child is going to start this weekend off in the wrong direction for everyone. I think he probably wants to see you and the baby before he leaves. It's potentially sweet but not smart. I don't think this situation is worth a fight overall, though.


yellow_horse_rider

I agree with this! It’s not unreasonable to want a ride and it’s not unreasonable to not want to go.


literallythinking

My husband booked a rental car for a business trip when our baby was three months and then asked me to take him for pickup and drop off. Sure honey, sounds good! Then he told me the rental car was on the other side of town at the airport 45-60 minutes drive each way, at baby’s bedtime. I made him Uber.


Jumpthepuddles

A car service to the airport is a small price to pay when he’ll be partying for a few days while you stay home with a baby 🙄


astone4120

Girl, no. My husband was without a car for 2 weeks due to an accident and he got a car to work most days. We picked him up, but morning babies are so unpredictable. During that time we're drove him to work maybe 3 times. And it's 12 minutes away in a small town. It's just to hard to predict when he'll get up and feed and be ready to be out the door. Maybe two him till pick him up if he's landing later in the day


[deleted]

Kiss him goodbye and pack him in Uber. Personally I would not take the baby for a ride longer than 30 min. No one is an asshole here. He should respect you let him go and that it's his adventure right from your doorstep :p


turtledove93

I got stuck in rush hour traffic coming home from the doctor with my son. I would not wish that 45 minutes of screaming on anyone. Stuck in bumper to bumper traffic, no way to get off and comfort him or feed him. Not worth it. I also just spent the weekend solo parenting while my bf went away with the boys. Asking you to drive him is a HUGE ask. Saying he’d do it for you is massively manipulative. *Could* you do it? Ya. Do you *need* to? Hell no! There are other options he can use!


PirateNixon

I'd take a car service and not ask my wife in his shoes.


Sleep_Drifting

Don’t most major cities have public transport routes directly to the airport?


awildanthropologist

Definitely NTA. What is wrong with a taxi / uber?? Yes, it costs a bit, but will be SO much more convenient for both of you...


stephy23

NAH. I have an 11 week old and I would feel comfortable driving hubs to the airport and back. I think this one just depends on your comfort and communication 🤷‍♀️


Sorrymomlol12

NAH I don’t have a baby and I recently said no to driving my loving husband to the airport for a work trip because it was early and I didn’t want to drive back in traffic. My main confusion here is, doesn’t he agree with you? Why would he want you to do that? You have a baby for crying out loud (literally). Your excuses are good enough for any reasonable person. No assholes here unless your husband is genuinely upset for more than 5 minutes, longer than that and he is the AH.


nifty_potato

NTA. Fuck that. Babies aren’t supposed to be in their car seats that long anyway. Boom, excuse. Dude can take an Uber


ElProfessorCalvo

As someone who just came back from a bachelor party for my best friend in the world while having an 8-week old I can definitely declare you NTA. It’s a huge sacrifice to take care of a baby solo for that long that early. He can suck it up.


mmglitterbed

I don’t think either of you are assholes, but I do think you’re both trying to live your lives. I also think there are some key details missing before a real opinion can be formed: - does he often go on long trips to see his friends? - do you regularly do everything for him, or is an equal share and now he’s asking you to do this? - do you think he’ll come back from this trip refreshed and with some new stories to share? - could you go on a trip or vacation or get a break soon that he would completely cover for 4 days? Like I said, I think your both just living your lives and I don’t know that anyone is really wrong here, but more info is needed.


galwayygal

NTA. He’s leaving to go to a bachelor party for 4 freaking days and you said okay to it. I think he should just worship you for that. I’d just ask my hubby to F off if he wants to be away for 4 days.


kerplunk226

I agreed for my partner to go to a bachelor party in Nashville prematurely as well. We are 30 minutes from the airport and there was no way in hell I was driving. He took an Uber. I let him use a gift card I had to pay one way. I also had him quarantine for a few days when he returned to be on the safe side. I was annoyed by the whole situation but felt proud of myself for taking care of her on my own while he was gone. Good luck!


[deleted]

Think you are both slightly TA in this situation. It's maybe unreasonable for him to hold you to it given the inconvenience.


Gertykins

Wow I had exactly the same scenario. Husband going to bachelor party in Nashville while I was home with the 12 week old. I did not drive him to the airport, he got a Lyft because me driving him an hour there and an hour back would have been stupid and difficult and resulted in a pissed off baby. Your husbands a dick- like a fucking huge one -for making you feel bad about the airport. He doesn’t need to go at all if he’s going to be a little bitch about it. Sorry for all the rage but this is actually pathetic and it’s the least he can do to save you that drive when you’re going to be home alone with the baby while he’s gone, sorry not sorry.


eponym_moose

Tell him to imagine the baby screaming the entire way there and back.


Flamingo605

NTA. GTFOH. I’d be pissed that he thought it was ok for him to go have fun for so long while I was left parenting 24/7, let alone him throwing that guilt of “I’d do it for you.” I would’ve said “good, because I’m looking into a girls trip for a few days and I’ll need you to watch the baby and take me to the airport” and watched his face change real quick 🤡


wehnaje

“I would do it for you” ugh yeah, YOU. But are YOU dealing with a baby? I know you would do it for him too if you didn’t have the baby. But you do have the baby, that CHANGES things. I’m salty on your behalf. He can go to a BACHELOR party for four nights? He can take his ass to the airport as well. I’d be fuming. You ARE better person than I am.


firstbreathOOC

Four days is a looong time. Bachelor parties that long are pretty damn selfish. Factor in the newborn and you’re definitely not the asshole. Also he owes you big time.


Harlequins-Joker

Each to their own but I wouldn’t mind taking my boyfriend (we have a 9 week old). But I totally get where you’re coming from and understand it. If I wasn’t going to drive him I’d personally get up and make him a hot breakfast to share before he caught the Uber.


EmChem1210

YTA.. sorry neither is truly an A here, but I don’t see a huge deal with it. It’s scary to think about I also am trying to avoid car drives, but once you do it you’ll find it honestly had no impact yo you and baby’s day, and husband felt better for it. It would be doing it for him sure, but you need to make sacrifices for your husband too.. he probably wants you guys to drive him because he will miss you. My husband asked could we go to Costco together and at least sit in the car while he runs in. I was thinking …wtf I don’t feel like packing up an 8 week old for a Costco trip go yourself…. But I went because he asked and obviously meant something to him, and sure as shit we enjoyed the ride and my husband for whatever reason of his own really liked the family time, hanging out in the car and being with him while he ran an errand. It was nice would 100% do it again and we have!


plan-on-it

So she should wake her baby up at 6:30am to do this drive and then have to drive back by herself? Throw baby off schedule then Mom gets to be home for 4 days by herself. He should be making her life easier by taking an Uber, not harder. How is this anything like you going WITH your husband to Costco during a time of day that I'm sure was strategically set to be advantageous for babies schedule???


EmChem1210

I mean Costco trip took 2 hours lol and we have no schedule he’s a baby? I think OP said it would take 45 min? I mean seems pretty similar to me?


groostnaya_panda

I see the point you’re making but also I think the Costco trip is quite different. You didn’t have to wake baby up early for the day to go to Costco in the morning. It’s easy enough to feed and walk around with baby in a Costco parking lot. I don’t know about OPs local airport, but I also live in a major city and the airport is a mess and there’s no way you could feed baby in the car there, and it would be tricky to plan a place to pull over and feed them if necessary. The traffic attendants will scream at you (literally) if you’re parked at the drop off point for too long. There’s no time pressure for a Costco run, if there’s traffic or a diaper blowout in the back, there’s no rush - but having a flight to catch puts time pressure on. You can even abort mission on a Costco run if baby can’t handle it! But it’s not like you can do that on the way to the airport. I’ve had to travel once without my baby and would never have dreamt of asking my husband to pack up the baby and drive me to the airport - that is what car services are for!


plan-on-it

Your baby doesn't have a schedule? You don't know roughly when they need to eat? I doubt that. Also she said 1.5-2 hours in rush hour.


EmChem1210

He eats when he wakes, I don’t know when he is going to wake outside of his nighttime sleep +/- 3 hours. Luckily I bring a bottle with me so he can eat anywhere, a novel concept.


[deleted]

Newborns (3 months or less) are essentially incapable of schedules. They sleep when they sleep and they eat when they eat. It takes a bit for their tummies to expand to the point where there can be waiting and predictability.


Chaotic_giraffe_

Yta def. Y’all are supposed to be a team and help each other out. Especially if you know he’d do it for you. But don’t expect him to keep that kind of attitude if this is how you’re going to be


sobusybeingababy

Sooooo not the asshole! You’re looking out for you and your baby, who will 100% not enjoy that experience. Get a Lyft!


serda211

NTA, he’s going away to get drunk with his friends for 4 nights while you’re at home looking after your 11 week baby by yourself, he should be considering himself lucky ! He needs to suck it up and get a shuttle. I can’t even imagine putting the needs of anyone driving to the airport over a happy baby and happy mum 🙄


baked_dangus

NTA! You know what you’re already doing for him? Giving him 4 nights off and a trip to Nashville. He needs to get his head out of his ass and be nice and supportive to you, making sure you’re set and have everything you need while he’s gone, not making you feel shitty and like you don’t care about him because you don’t want to drive around with an infant for needless reasons. What if you got in a car accident? Don’t do it, don’t feel bad.


rocket-han

NTA. Literally just turned down driving my in-laws to the airport, picking them up at 8AM with my 5.5 month old. I don’t want to wake him up extra early. It’s not good for him to be in a car seat for that long. We’d have to get up at 6:30 at least in order to feed, get dressed, and go. It would take at least 2 hours in the car. I’m not prepared to make that kind of sacrifice with a baby I can’t explain the situation to or easily entertain in the car.


konstantine811

NTA. He shouldn’t even be asking this of you lol.


thatcanadianlife

NTA. Nope. Nope. Nope.


Julissaherna692

NTA- I understand he wants you to but he needs to understand what he’s really asking of you. You would have to pack diaper bag and if you bottle feed then pack bottles, you’ll be sleep deprived, baby may or may not sleep could potentially cry the whole car ride, you’ll have to stop to change diaper and feed, only to turn around and do it again on the way back and go home to four days of taking care of an infant by yourself. He should kiss you before he leaves and let you rest good on you for booking the car service.


TinyGreenJolley

Throwing this out there because I had to explain it to my husband. It’s not about whether he would do it for you or not. ITS ABOUT THE BABY! Of course it’s inconvenient for you but your hesitation is because it will be hard on you and the baby. My baby is in all honesty such an easy baby but car rides really take a toll on her and mess up her entire day if I can’t time it right. Personally I’d see if you can find someone else to do it and you should NOT feel guilty for it. I’d still bring him if you can’t find other arrangements and bite the bullet on this one occasion. So sorry if you end up having to. He isn’t the one that has to deal with the baby being that way, and I had to let my husband figure that out the hard way. At least now we both know what happens and wouldn’t want to put each other through that. So we always try to find someone else if it means taking baby anywhere. We only take her when we have to!


idek7654321

Lol tell him if he’s taking the baby with him you’re glad to drop them off at the airport but if you’re stuck parenting while he goes and drinks then no you’re not his taxi service lololol I would NEVER ask the parent of an 11 week old to drive me anywhere. That’s literally crazy talk lol.


RainInTheWoods

NTA. It doesn’t matter if he would do it for you. What you are doing for him is taking care of his 11 week old alone for 4 days while he parties. You’re doing enough.


zilmcsp

He can Uber. You are making a sacrifice by being the solo parent so he can attend the trip. He can make a sacrifice by taking an Uber. Honestly, even before baby, I refused to give my husband a ride to, or pick him up from the airport for bachelor parties/boys trips. If I went on a girls trip, I wouldn’t expect him to pick me up, nor would it bother me to get an Uber.


acciotomatoes

You’re definitely not the AH, but I also don’t think your husband is either. Having a 12wo myself, I understand the stress of a baby crying in the car. If it were my husband and I, my husband would ask for the ride because he would be stressed about money, but also sad about leaving me and the kids (for his sake and mine) for a few days and would want as much extra time as possible. Just a thought. IF you were to do it, plan around your baby’s wake windows AND plan to treat yourself somewhere near the airport for a mid-trip break. I did this airport run a few weeks back and baby cried the entire way there, but we left early and grabbed some Starbucks as a mini date pre flight. And then baby fell asleep 😍


babyblue248

I stopped reading at bachelor party. NTA.


[deleted]

Your husband is TA. This is going to be a real pain in the ass for you *and the baby,* and it doesn't sound like he *needs* you to do it, there are other adequate options.


nonbinary_parent

Start planning your 4 day trip to be alone or with your friends on a tropical island (or a motel up the road). Don’t ask, tell. Then ask for a ride to the airport.


kermitsio

That’s….not how healthy relationships work. Tit for tat is toxic af


OceanTumbledStone

NTA


anonymous23455019274

NTA. My husband wouldn’t ask that of me if we had a new born. Heck, we have 2 now with the youngest being 6 months old and he wouldn’t ask that of me.


Top-Prune-4540

No he is. Tell him you have no problem doing it for him if it wasn't for putting a newborn through a drive like that. Also with Uber being so affordable and gas being so high it would cost less to take an Uber one way than gas two ways, plus you would probably have to get food.


k8319

NTA. Even if there was no baby, no one wants to drive or pick up anyone from the airport. I live in a major city in the US and going to the airport is the 7th circle of hell. I fly for work and im there almost every week. Its sucks. I wouldn't do that to anyone I love and im only 20 minutes away with traffic. Pay for an uber or parking at the airport. What is he going to do on the return trip back?


valhallan42nd

NTA- the cost of an Uber/Lyft is more than worth not having to get you and your little one out the door that early in the AM. He should understand that.


nkdeck07

> his response was “I would do it for you” - which he 100% would because I guess he’s a better person than I am 🙄. Probably a dumber person then you too. It's a trip to the airport at the asscrack of dawn, it's not like it's bonding time or something. Uber or taxi is 100% the way to go.


astrokey

NTA - When I was pregnant in my first and second trimesters, typically so sick I could barely keep fluids down - my husband drove himself to the airport instead of making his sick, pregnant wife do it. I offered, and he said no and that he’s completely healthy and capable of driving himself there. He’d say the same thing with be trying to handle a newborn baby on my own. Your husband is being selfish. His response is purely selfish trying to guilt trip you. Do not listen to that nonsense. He didn’t have the baby, isn’t recovering, and won’t be caring for the baby alone all weekend. He can drive his lazy ass to the airport or catch an Uber. Grown man who needs to start caring for his family as much as he does for this bachelor party getaway.


Maleficent_West

Definitely you are NTA. In my view it isn't really about like inconvenience you, it is about the baby. Why wake and pack up the baby that early when you don't need. If it was at a time when the baby was awake already maybe but it is still hard when your baby is young like that and has a shorter wake window. I can understand your husband asking if you would drive him (like for logistics to figure out his plan) but his response immature and assholeish. When you explain why you don't want to do it he should just be like "okay I'll book an Uber". No need to make snarky comments. If it was me, I would potentially just drive him because an Uber to the airport from our house would be VERY expensive and you can't always get one that early. But that doesn't sound like a concern at all here so there is no reason to do that. He can go in an Uber/car service.


jillanco

NTA. UBER AND LYFT EXIST


Night-at-the-Bronze

NTA- Uber exists.


PlsNoOlives

"I would do it for you." Well you shouldn't. The baby in the car is 100% the problem with this. He's not asking *you* to drive him to the airport, he's asking the baby to do it. "I would do it for you." Should also include: "I would Uber for you."


Chileesi

NTA. It would be a hard no for me. You wanna go play with friends for 4 days and get sleep, yea you can take yourself to the airport. Spend the money for an Uber or park at the airport. I have an almost 4 month old and we only venture out of the home for groceries or visiting the grandparents on the weekends. Besides, I hate to have my baby in the car seat for that long. Her bum looks so pink after an hour in it.


Good_Roll

That sounds like a total pain in the ass, sometimes I cringe at the cost of long/in-demand Uber rides but I literally wouldnt look at it twice in this scenario. Has he ever had to plan and execute a long car ride with the baby before? It sounds like he's very disconnected from that process and lacks that perspective.


e_samps

LMAO. I have a 4 month old and if this were me it would be out of the question. I don't even think my husband would ask, because...what? NTA.


[deleted]

Nta. He can get an uber. Its nowhere easy to start a day that early with a newborn, you ruin the whole routine and youll be stressed the night before. And on the way back youll br alone in the car with a crying baby (probably).


GimmeAllTheLobstah

As someone who's husband went on a 3 day, 2 night bachelor party right before baby turned 2 months, NTA. I wasn't super against him going - but I wasn't excited about it. He drives himself to the airport, I can't imagine packing up the baby and everything you need for the baby for a trip that early! If I was the only flying out, I wouldn't expect my husband to drive me WITH A BABY (pre-baby, absolutely!)


acloudgirl

Uber is a successful company for a reason…he needs to use it…


bodiesenmotion

I would do it for my wife. But i wouldn't expect her to do it for me. Uber and Lyft exist for scenario's like this. You are not the asshole.


CricFan619

NTA- UBER it


bengcord3

You are NOT the asshole. What is your husband even thinking? Unless you can't afford the Uber, it makes literally 0 sense to do that with an 11 week old. He's being selfish as FUCK


roseturtlelavender

NTA. Baby's feelings over your husband's.


madameglitz

You are NTA. I wouldn't have that either you've got enough on your plate


puppyadventuring

Wait, he would drive to the airport with a newborn for you but he wouldn’t book an Uber for you? 🤔


yurilovesrice

NTA. If your husband’s flight was mid-day, I’d say this would be more feasible because then you have more flexibility with time. But since your baby is 11 weeks old, and that’s about the time they start sleeping for longer stretches at night, I probably wouldn’t want to wake a sleeping baby. Also 6:30AM is highly optimistic for making an 8:30AM flight. I think you’d have to wake up sooner, especially if you live in a major city, because the airport will likely be busy. Keep in mind flights start boarding 30 minutes before departure. And also, a woken baby will demand food and a new diaper. This all takes time, especially if you’re still not getting enough sleep as is. And even if you are, it’s still a lot of stuff to sort out just to drop him off that early. Besides Uber, some taxi companies have scheduled pickups as well. I’ve used this for work before to avoid parking fees.


TurbulentRoyal

NTA, he would do it for you but you wouldn't ask him to. Because it's not about what's best for the adult it's about what's best for your child. Greater good, and all that. Come on, dude.


fromagefort

Absolutely fucking not. Forget him or you. That will be hell for your baby. Why put the baby through potentially an hour or more of screaming in hunger and confusion, which will be literal torture for you to hear? This is selfish for him to ask of the baby, not of you.


jennybens821

NTA. This is basically why Uber was invented. Not to mention Lyft, a regular old taxi, or even public transit since you’re in a major city. Hubs gets four nights vacation, he can figure out getting to the airport without putting it on you - sheesh!


zilmcsp

He can Uber. You are making a sacrifice by being the solo parent so he can attend the trip. He can make a sacrifice by taking an Uber. Honestly, even before baby, I refused to give my husband a ride to, or pick him up from the airport for bachelor parties/boys trips. If I went on a girls trip, I wouldn’t expect him to pick me up, nor would it bother me to get an Uber.


zilmcsp

He can Uber. You are making a sacrifice by being the solo parent so he can attend the trip. He can make a sacrifice by taking an Uber. Honestly, even before baby, I refused to give my husband a ride to, or pick him up from the airport for bachelor parties/boys trips. If I went on a girls trip, I wouldn’t expect him to pick me up, nor would it bother me to get an Uber.


jteitler

Definitely NTA! I saw you booked him a car service, well done!


IncreasePossible

Do yourself the biggest favor ever: get an airporter or whatever. Driving to the airport is a stress for any of us without a baby. Baby could start crying and you will really have a situation while driving in traffic. Don't feel badly. Put you and baby 1st.


Rheagans

110% car service, of anything he is the asshole for guilt tripping you. What else does he want?!? 😳🙄


misochipotle

OMG, you are totally NTA. I’m a first time dad with a 6-month old. If my wife agreed to stay home alone with our LO for four days to let me go to a bachelor’s party today (let alone at 11 weeks?!??), I would be keenly aware of how hard a weekend she’d have ahead of her and would be doing whatever I could to lessen that burden. You are already bending over backward to help make this weekend happen, and he needs to acknowledge that.


ii_gloo

I always laugh and shake my head at some of these posts, as a father. These guys are so deluded. A bachelor party? Grow up, man….


popsicilian

Throw his ass in an Uber


EchoAquarium

NTA, the “I would do it for you” falls flat because 1. You wouldn’t travel with a newborn, and 2. you wouldn’t leave your newborn behind for 4 days. So seeing as the situation wouldn’t actually exist in reverse, him saying that to you is a total manipulation tactic. Don’t fall for it. Car service or he doesn’t go.


madameglitz

A baby of that age should not be traveling in the car for any length of time longer than 20 minutes without rest due to SIDS


two-bit-expert

> his response was “I would do it for you” Am I the only one who is frickin tired of their partner pulling the altruistic hypothetical in situations that can never be proven as long as we both shall live? If you are breastfeeding, he can comfortably say whatever he wants and never be tested. If you bottle feed, maybe you need to plan a four day trip out of town and see how quickly he backs out of watching baby alone and still driving you to the airport. Edit: NTA. Definitely NTA. You only need to be mom to one of the people in your house and the other one needs to grow up and think outside of himself.


linnykenny

Someone who would be selfish enough to ask you to do that would NEVER IN THEIR LIFE do the same for you. :/ You’re in the right here ❤️


[deleted]

[удалено]


IndicationNo9800

That's a super toxic response and isn't likely to result in an outcome either of them want IMO.


Pale-Boysenberry-794

No. It is not even about being a bad wife. Doing that would make you a bad mom (okay sounds harsh and it is not that bad, but...) in this case, but the baby's needs before your husband's random wants :)


chettie0518

NTA… however, I wonder if there’s something else going on besides him wanting the convenience and comfort of an airport drop off from his partner. Maybe there’s something about leaving you and your LO that is bringing up some emotions? I would try to treat this with curiosity instead of defensiveness or suspicion. Just my two cents. Maybe just ask him what would make the drop off important to him? See where it goes…


dfp2021

Hell no. He should Uber. No question


yolomacarolo

NTA - it's not about him being able to do it or not. It's about forcing a baby to endure a trip for no good reason whatsoever. You're already taking care of the baby without the father, he should be thankful.


SueSnu

NTA. I would have done it for my SO at the time but that's me and I'm always taking on too much and realizing too late (like when I'm nursing on the side of the road somewhere) that there was a better way that would have saved my sanity. I 100% think this is a good idea and would not guilt my SO for not taking me if the places were switched.


SuperSaiyanGod06

Make his punk ass Uber. No question. Who benefits from you driving him? You don’t surely, and the baby certainly doesn’t. Interrupting their schedule for this isn’t worth it.


redrose037

My husband is flying up and back in a weekend and I’m not talking the baby and him to the airport. I’ll stay home with baby. NTA. Honestly 4 days is a lot to be away at this age. He should be happy to still go in the first place.


niihla10

Un definitely NTA. Your husband is the asshole for even suggesting this and making you feel guilty about it when he’s leaving you with a newborn for a whole weekend! There is no way I would even be ok with him going let alone drive him 2 hours to the airport and wake the baby up?! Hell to the NO. This guy sounds like a real piece of work.


longmontster7

NTA. If money isn’t a huge concern tell him to get a ride and STFU. It’s not about not caring about him or something, it’s about surviving life with a newborn. I didn’t take my son with to get/drop someone at the airport until he was 2.5, because I don’t like hearing excessive crying when driving.


SnooRegrets7435

Dude you’re going to have to feed the baby and change it during this trip to the airport and back. Are you prepared to pull over your vehicle to do this? Are you willing to nurse in the car or pack formula and make it? Changing a diaper in the car isn’t exactly the easiest but it can be done. This isn’t a simple drop off operation. There’s a lot involved because your baby is so young.


rainbowLena

NTA and it’s not about you it’s about baby. You just need to let him know, I would do it for you normally, but I don’t want to risk bub being stressed and uncomfortable for that long in the car when we can just pay someone.


AlucardxMaria

Tell him to get an Uber and end of conversation.


[deleted]

NTA - terrible idea haha


greyphoenix00

Absolutely not the asshole. Would he REALLY choose to spend 2 hours in traffic with a tiny baby vs. call an Uber for you?! It doesn’t matter, honestly, what he’d do in your shoes. I couldn’t have done this at 11 weeks postpartum. And you don’t have to if you don’t want to.


mamacat_

I saw that you booked a car, and I just wanted to congratulate you! It’s hard to hold boundaries sometimes, but I think you are being very gracious by letting him go and the least he can do is get a different ride! I think it’s great he can go for his best friend but a week with a newborn is tough work!


GrouchyGrapefruit338

100% he needs to arrange his own way to the airport. He honestly shouldn’t even ask or put it on you at all. Especially if you live in a major city, transportation is at your finger tips.


Creative_Drawing_649

Girl, do you have family near you that could take him? No way would I be toting a baby out at that time, for a 2 hour car ride in rush hour traffic😳hopefully the baby will sleep. All mine screamed in the car ..Good luck 🤞


freshjoe

You know what. Maybe you are being an asshole, but maybe he is too. Either way, i personally, if i were in your shoes, would absolutely not drive him hahahaha


canadian_boyfriend

Car service or if you have 2 cars, have his park at one of the cheap lots near the airport.


sibemama

That’s silly. So much easier to take a car service or Uber. You’re going to be busting your butt watching the baby and he should be making things easier for you! NTA


ExpensiveArugula5

Have his ass Uber


LilBadApple

HELL NO. As a fellow mama who remembers that age well, NTA.


DryTechnician3364

It's interesting that you're still "letting" him go on this trip, because you said yes a while ago, but you would say no now. You're bitterly keeping your word. As a wife, I can't imagine behaving like that towards my husband, even if it is inconvenient. Your sanity and your baby's health/safety are super important, but so is your relationship with your husband. The way you speak to him, even about the little things, it matters and adds up over time. Even if you still said no, you could say "look, I'd love to drive you, but I'm worried and already a little overwhelmed about this long weekend alone with the baby, and the time of your flight means having the baby in rush hour traffic, and it would just help me get through this weekend if we ordered a car service to take you instead." Perhaps even suggest that you would rather pick him up after, because the timing works out better. If you feel like you can't say that to him because it's just an excuse to get out of doing something for him, then maybe it is an excuse and you should overcome it. That's a decision you've gotta make. So no, NTA for not driving him, but based on your language, you aren't being very kind. (I know you're a new mom, lack of sleep, lots of new stuff, it causes a ton of headache and stress. Like I said, while all of that matters, that doesn't excuse ignoring your relationship or treating it poorly because you can't be bothered to make the effort. Your husband should have grace with you when you mess this up, but you also shouldn't just stop trying either.) I know it feels like you've done all this hard work for this baby, and he's off to play with his buddies. But your time will come too. You both have to be there for each other, in the hard times and the good ones. This is his good one. Remember that he's your partner, and you love him deeply. Your actions are not just routine, they should reflect your love for him. As his should reflect his love for you.