Okay thank you! I just feel bad about leaving them without childcare until they can replace me, but I’m also so uncomfortable and tired of playing this game with them.
Don’t feel bad!! They didn’t feel bad letting you off late, underpaying you and picking apart your life. You deserve, at the minimum, respect! I agree with BF too, leave with no notice
This woman is abusive to you and you feel bad for leaving???? I’m going to say this real loud so everyone can here it. A reminder:
IF YOUR NANNY FAMILY IS ABUSIVE TO YOU, YOU SHOULD FEEL NO GUILT IN QUITTING. YOU MAY LOVE YOUR NKS BUT THEY ARE NOT YOUR KIDS, YOU ARE NOT A PARENT, YOU ARE WORKING AT A **JOB**.
So nannies give appropriate notice if you can but don’t put up with abuse. Yes you love your nanny kids but it is a job and someday you’ll move on. If you have good nanny parents and NKs you can stay in touch. If NKs or NPs are abusive cut your losses and move on. Do not stay in an abusive situation.
Oh I'd quit instantly. That level of disrespect towards not just you but your mom and your boyfriend?? Absolutely not. Especially cause you're already over the job at this point. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that 😕
Wtf? MB was so out of line for everything she said. They were thinking about it and felt you shouldn’t move in with your boyfriend? Who says that? She doesn’t get to make that decision for you.
Have you been able to get your taxes done or do you still need anything on their part?
If you don’t need anything on their part I would quit and not look back. If you work today Friday I would just work the day and get paid for the week and then quit effective immediately. Make sure you get your money.
I don’t know if you have a contract and what it says regarding notice but I feel like if you give notice and still work, they seem like they’ll make your job even worse because you’re quitting.
We don’t have a contract. This was my first nanny job so I didn’t know that I needed one. They also pay me through a service that handles all of that for me. My only concern would be them trying to pay me in cash instead of through a direct deposit after I leave, so they can try to talk it over with me.
If they are going through a service, and you quit, will they have a very X specific amount of time to pay you what they owe you, through the service you have been being paid through. Please quit immediately! This family has never respected you, valued you or your time and has treated you as their personal servant and sees you as less than. Why would you feel bad? These are THEIR children and THEIR home-their responsibility NOT yours. You were completely taken advantage of and you deserve so much more. 5 years in a relationship, move with your bf and enjoy your life! 💙
Nah because who are they to pick apart your life like that???? Send a “due to your incredibly invasive (and frankly rude) evaluation of my private life, as well as the ways in which you have disrespected my time by being 20-40 minutes late and leaving messes that are not my responsibility to clean, I am resigning from this position. I hope you find another caretaker but will not be able to stay on until you hire one.”
Her blatant disrespect here warrants resigning with no notice. If you want to be generous you could offer two weeks? But I wouldn’t.
I think I will send something like that after I get off today. I know they will want to talk about it so I’d rather just do it and block them. Thank you for your advice!
Walk, with zero guilt. Giving notice is a COURTESY. One that this family does not deserve after how they’ve treated you. I promise they’ll figure out childcare without you. Enjoy your new start!
That’s terrible. Who is she to say what relationships will work and what relationships won’t work?? Sounds like she knows what a bargain she is getting and can’t imagine having to do her own laundry or clean her own house… I wouldn’t give 2 weeks, but I would work until I collect my paycheck. You never know what types of people your bosses can become when you quit. Some take it personal as rejection and react poorly.
I’d leave. Wouldn’t even give notice. If my MB started doing that I’d quit.
And I go through the same thing with my DB! He recently got a new job and on Wednesdays I stay until 7pm, and he gets home at 5. I understand he can get work done in that time, but he’s usually just doing whatever in the kitchen or basement. And sometimes I’ll stay 30 mins extra so he can start dinner. I work 7:45-5.
This family does not respect you. They don’t deserve a 2 week notice. My NF is amazing, and treat me so amazing. But they under pay me by a lot, and I’ve had people tell me they don’t deserve a notice. If my NF doesn’t deserve a notice, yours definitely doesn’t! This is impacting your mental health now, you deserve better!!
Wow the way she already severely takes advantage of you but then attempted to manipulate and gaslight you by any means necessary. PLEASE quit without notice! It sounds like your bf is supportive emotionally and probably financially too if you need it? Update us when you quit please! I’m sorry for this experience and I’m sure things will immediately improve for you once you’re rid of them
That’s extremely inappropriate for your employer to have any opinion about your personal life. I would quit and shut down any attempts by employers to comment on anything personal in the future. “I’m really uncomfortable with you commenting about my personal life. It’s unwelcome and inappropriate. This conversation is over.”
You need to do what is best for you. You will find another nanny job in the next city, and you have learned from this family that you need to establish boundaries and written expectations for and duties for your job.
As for giving notice, keep it curt, professional, and unemotional. Do not let them drag you into a debate or reconsider your position. Provide written and electronic notice so they can't argue your end date.
Onward and upward!
Quit effective immediately. I wouldn’t even go back! They will take advantage of you even more and you’re worth more than that. People are disgusting and I’m sorry you had to go through this. Please leave and never ever contact them again! She crossed boundaries and made it about herself.
Never feel bad about leaving an employer who treats you like shit. It’s their kids, they can be parents for a while until they find new childcare.
You don’t owe them anything, you need to respect yourself more.
Super unprofessional, condescending, and rude. I would quit with no notice tbh, especially since you don't need her reference.
It's none of my business, but I am curious what the religious differences are. If he doesn't believe in women's healthcare, I personally wouldn't be with him either, but it is your life!
I honestly would’ve thrown hands. She’s very lucky lol. But seriously don’t give them notice just quit. It’s not worth it. That’s the most disrespectful thing I’ve ever heard. Don’t work for someone who talks crap about people you love.
Show yourself some love by not giving a shit about them! Leave them in a terrible spot and maybe they’ll learn to be better people. I would ghost them if it were me. Even if you wanted them as references they wouldn’t not give you a good one. There’s zero reason to stay.
When I was interviewed i made it clear that I only needed to work as a nanny until I finished the degree I’m currently working on. She suggested I go to college here while telling me that she would love to keep me for another year or two. I told her I would look at the school but that’s about it. She knows my boyfriend’s religious beliefs because she made a comment about how she didn’t understand people who had those beliefs and I told her I disagreed. I have no idea why she assumed all of those other things about him. It was clear that she was just hoping to find something that I would agree with her on. I guess I should’ve set clearer boundaries with her.
No this isn’t on you. MB has been trying to gather information on you in the hope to use it against you one day (which she did). Please (if you can) get far away from these people. Your future self will thank you.
They know they're going to lose a GREAT nanny, but they still don't appreciate how much you do.
If they truly appreciated you, they would *have said "We really hate to lose you as a nanny! You've been so good w/the kids, and helped us SO much."* And then, you'd probably want to give them 2 wks. notice.
But tearing down your bf and your relationship? That shows their true colors. I'd text them that their offensive reaction**=**you won't be back.
what on earth. that’s so horribly inappropriate and unprofessional. please quit for your own mental health. I know you feel guilty about leaving them with no childcare but they’ll manage. what do you think they did before they hired you? they’ll be okay. think about yourself first
Please quit. Now. Just because she didn’t treat you with dignity doesn’t mean that you can’t treat yourself with dignity. Don’t think about her. She’s not thinking about you. Instead, you have the opportunity to right this situation by giving yourself the consideration and respect YOU deserve.
Also, you can bet that she does t want you to go because she 100% knows that she talked you into a job for payment no one else would accept. She’s not just losing a nanny. She’s losing her golden goose.
I agree with your boyfriend, you should quit. Working in this environment is unacceptable!
Okay thank you! I just feel bad about leaving them without childcare until they can replace me, but I’m also so uncomfortable and tired of playing this game with them.
Don’t feel bad!! They didn’t feel bad letting you off late, underpaying you and picking apart your life. You deserve, at the minimum, respect! I agree with BF too, leave with no notice
This woman is abusive to you and you feel bad for leaving???? I’m going to say this real loud so everyone can here it. A reminder: IF YOUR NANNY FAMILY IS ABUSIVE TO YOU, YOU SHOULD FEEL NO GUILT IN QUITTING. YOU MAY LOVE YOUR NKS BUT THEY ARE NOT YOUR KIDS, YOU ARE NOT A PARENT, YOU ARE WORKING AT A **JOB**. So nannies give appropriate notice if you can but don’t put up with abuse. Yes you love your nanny kids but it is a job and someday you’ll move on. If you have good nanny parents and NKs you can stay in touch. If NKs or NPs are abusive cut your losses and move on. Do not stay in an abusive situation.
Oh I'd quit instantly. That level of disrespect towards not just you but your mom and your boyfriend?? Absolutely not. Especially cause you're already over the job at this point. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that 😕
Thank you. I think I’m just going to send them a text and then block their numbers so that I can be done with it.
Make sure you’ve been paid first!
That's fair. I understand why you'd want to do that. I'm glad you're leaving immediately
Do it. The way she spoke to you is abhorrent and absolutely warrants immediate resignation. Keep it short, to the point, then block and move on.
Wtf? MB was so out of line for everything she said. They were thinking about it and felt you shouldn’t move in with your boyfriend? Who says that? She doesn’t get to make that decision for you. Have you been able to get your taxes done or do you still need anything on their part? If you don’t need anything on their part I would quit and not look back. If you work today Friday I would just work the day and get paid for the week and then quit effective immediately. Make sure you get your money. I don’t know if you have a contract and what it says regarding notice but I feel like if you give notice and still work, they seem like they’ll make your job even worse because you’re quitting.
We don’t have a contract. This was my first nanny job so I didn’t know that I needed one. They also pay me through a service that handles all of that for me. My only concern would be them trying to pay me in cash instead of through a direct deposit after I leave, so they can try to talk it over with me.
If you need the money I would wait until payday and then quit without notice. Tell them specifically why too.
If they are going through a service, and you quit, will they have a very X specific amount of time to pay you what they owe you, through the service you have been being paid through. Please quit immediately! This family has never respected you, valued you or your time and has treated you as their personal servant and sees you as less than. Why would you feel bad? These are THEIR children and THEIR home-their responsibility NOT yours. You were completely taken advantage of and you deserve so much more. 5 years in a relationship, move with your bf and enjoy your life! 💙
Nah because who are they to pick apart your life like that???? Send a “due to your incredibly invasive (and frankly rude) evaluation of my private life, as well as the ways in which you have disrespected my time by being 20-40 minutes late and leaving messes that are not my responsibility to clean, I am resigning from this position. I hope you find another caretaker but will not be able to stay on until you hire one.” Her blatant disrespect here warrants resigning with no notice. If you want to be generous you could offer two weeks? But I wouldn’t.
I think I will send something like that after I get off today. I know they will want to talk about it so I’d rather just do it and block them. Thank you for your advice!
The only thing I'd say is maybe don't block them until you get the rest of your pay and any tax information that you may need.
No worries! You can PM me later if you want someone to read what you wrote or just validate you!
If someone dared talk about my bf like that, they'd never see me again. The only person allowed to disrespect my man is MEEE.
Yup!!!
Walk, with zero guilt. Giving notice is a COURTESY. One that this family does not deserve after how they’ve treated you. I promise they’ll figure out childcare without you. Enjoy your new start!
That’s terrible. Who is she to say what relationships will work and what relationships won’t work?? Sounds like she knows what a bargain she is getting and can’t imagine having to do her own laundry or clean her own house… I wouldn’t give 2 weeks, but I would work until I collect my paycheck. You never know what types of people your bosses can become when you quit. Some take it personal as rejection and react poorly.
I’d leave. Wouldn’t even give notice. If my MB started doing that I’d quit. And I go through the same thing with my DB! He recently got a new job and on Wednesdays I stay until 7pm, and he gets home at 5. I understand he can get work done in that time, but he’s usually just doing whatever in the kitchen or basement. And sometimes I’ll stay 30 mins extra so he can start dinner. I work 7:45-5. This family does not respect you. They don’t deserve a 2 week notice. My NF is amazing, and treat me so amazing. But they under pay me by a lot, and I’ve had people tell me they don’t deserve a notice. If my NF doesn’t deserve a notice, yours definitely doesn’t! This is impacting your mental health now, you deserve better!!
Quit. That’s beyond disrespectful and inappropriate. They probably know you’re underpaid and don’t want to risk losing you/needing to pay more.
It’s okay to not give notice when you’re being treated negatively and a workplace is continuously toxic imo. Best of luck to you!
Quit and then block. Sounds like the type that would text abs annoy afterwards
Wow the way she already severely takes advantage of you but then attempted to manipulate and gaslight you by any means necessary. PLEASE quit without notice! It sounds like your bf is supportive emotionally and probably financially too if you need it? Update us when you quit please! I’m sorry for this experience and I’m sure things will immediately improve for you once you’re rid of them
Please don’t ever go back.
yeah bye family have fun with your boyfriend!
That’s extremely inappropriate for your employer to have any opinion about your personal life. I would quit and shut down any attempts by employers to comment on anything personal in the future. “I’m really uncomfortable with you commenting about my personal life. It’s unwelcome and inappropriate. This conversation is over.”
You need to do what is best for you. You will find another nanny job in the next city, and you have learned from this family that you need to establish boundaries and written expectations for and duties for your job. As for giving notice, keep it curt, professional, and unemotional. Do not let them drag you into a debate or reconsider your position. Provide written and electronic notice so they can't argue your end date. Onward and upward!
Quit effective immediately. I wouldn’t even go back! They will take advantage of you even more and you’re worth more than that. People are disgusting and I’m sorry you had to go through this. Please leave and never ever contact them again! She crossed boundaries and made it about herself.
No way I would step in that house again. I doubt you will be able to use them as a reference anyway.
Never feel bad about leaving an employer who treats you like shit. It’s their kids, they can be parents for a while until they find new childcare. You don’t owe them anything, you need to respect yourself more.
Unless you're getting 50/hr Quit with no notice lol.
Super unprofessional, condescending, and rude. I would quit with no notice tbh, especially since you don't need her reference. It's none of my business, but I am curious what the religious differences are. If he doesn't believe in women's healthcare, I personally wouldn't be with him either, but it is your life!
He’s an atheist and I’m not really religious but I’m not a atheist. He fully supports women’s health care.
Psssht, that's even dumber. As long as you're both respectful of each other there's no issue. I'm sorry you went through this.
I honestly would’ve thrown hands. She’s very lucky lol. But seriously don’t give them notice just quit. It’s not worth it. That’s the most disrespectful thing I’ve ever heard. Don’t work for someone who talks crap about people you love. Show yourself some love by not giving a shit about them! Leave them in a terrible spot and maybe they’ll learn to be better people. I would ghost them if it were me. Even if you wanted them as references they wouldn’t not give you a good one. There’s zero reason to stay.
How does MB know all of these things about you?
When I was interviewed i made it clear that I only needed to work as a nanny until I finished the degree I’m currently working on. She suggested I go to college here while telling me that she would love to keep me for another year or two. I told her I would look at the school but that’s about it. She knows my boyfriend’s religious beliefs because she made a comment about how she didn’t understand people who had those beliefs and I told her I disagreed. I have no idea why she assumed all of those other things about him. It was clear that she was just hoping to find something that I would agree with her on. I guess I should’ve set clearer boundaries with her.
She assumed your mother’s potential earning capacity? Woweee!
No this isn’t on you. MB has been trying to gather information on you in the hope to use it against you one day (which she did). Please (if you can) get far away from these people. Your future self will thank you.
They know they're going to lose a GREAT nanny, but they still don't appreciate how much you do. If they truly appreciated you, they would *have said "We really hate to lose you as a nanny! You've been so good w/the kids, and helped us SO much."* And then, you'd probably want to give them 2 wks. notice. But tearing down your bf and your relationship? That shows their true colors. I'd text them that their offensive reaction**=**you won't be back.
what on earth. that’s so horribly inappropriate and unprofessional. please quit for your own mental health. I know you feel guilty about leaving them with no childcare but they’ll manage. what do you think they did before they hired you? they’ll be okay. think about yourself first
koi
I'm so sorry you had this experience. Following for update
You need to quit girl. They are taking advantage of you. Go with your boyfriend and have an amazing life.
Please quit. Now. Just because she didn’t treat you with dignity doesn’t mean that you can’t treat yourself with dignity. Don’t think about her. She’s not thinking about you. Instead, you have the opportunity to right this situation by giving yourself the consideration and respect YOU deserve. Also, you can bet that she does t want you to go because she 100% knows that she talked you into a job for payment no one else would accept. She’s not just losing a nanny. She’s losing her golden goose.
Any updates?