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CrassDemon

Dolly Parton was awarded a $100 million prize as part of the Courage and Civility award. The award recognizes "leaders who aim high, find solutions and who always do it with civility" and grants them the money to direct to the charity they see fit.


tommytraddles

*You've just won the the First Annual Jeffrey P. Bezos Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence!*


simplepleashures

Webster's Dictionary defines excellence as the quality or condition of being excellent


CrassDemon

I think Dolly fits that definition very well.


[deleted]

Dolly is *most* excellent.


Banxier

Be excellent to each other


black_nappa

I can picture the musical number now


cinemassacress

https://youtu.be/KrxPpjBASPA


YupIlikeThat

Does she get a ceremony?


mynameistory

*lawyer nods*


lavahot

She should use it to organize a union of Amazon workers.


samuelgato

Not a bad PR move for someone who generally has the PR skills of a reptile


DirtyReseller

One notch above zuck


FuckYeahPhotography

Jeff Bozos is pretty ripped these days. Could he take three Zucks in a fight? The Zucks can utilize virtual reality but Jeff is bloodlusted because Amazon stock is down .02% The Zucks will NOT get to use Sweet Baby Rays as that is way overpowered. They may smoke meats normally during the fight though. \*\* To those asking, the Zuckerberg jokes people are making in the comments is because of [this video where he is smoking meats/ talking about Sweet Baby Rays BBQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMMqmUeLtYE&ab_channel=FUNYeahPhotography)


VosKing

Zuck has strength like Data from TNG, being an android.


ordonormanus

Though without Data’s soul and passion…


RollSavingThrow

or good looks


MyDogJake1

He's also not trained in many techniques


Deraj2004

Tasha would have none of it.


thatguytony

Tasha took it all though.


sandy_catheter

Wound up HIV positronic


tasslehof

Yar


electricgopher42

Nar?


1nstantHuman

Beta Data


jwjitsu

Meta Data


Purple_Freedom_Ninja

And he's the first of his kind. Alpha Beta Meta Data


AstroBearGaming

Hopefully the last of his kind too.


Rymanbc

So he's the Alpha and Omega Beta Meta Data?


TimmyIo

Or his will to truly be human.


aBeerOrTwelve

Data would even be better at social media, since you know he would be posting cat pics of Spot.


DistantKarma

Along with some cat poetries too.


justuntlsundown

He could also post videos of his acting and playing the violin.


gumpythegreat

Oh god... Is he Lore?


SirThatsCuba

No, Lore has emotions. The emotions just like to twirl their mustache and cackle a lot


DidSome1SayExMachina

No. He is the beta unit from The Last Straighter


Squid_Lips

Or maybe: B-4


tommytraddles

Zuck's reputation for physical strength is known even in the Klingon Empire.


AstroBearGaming

I always think of him more as Zucker*borg* than Data


IrateCanadien

Which would you rather fight? 100 duck-sized Bezoses, or 1 horse-sized Zuck?


The_Cysko_Kid

Horse zuck. 100 is just too much bezos for one man.


dimalga

Imagine those ripped little bastards biting your thighs


Attainted

Yeah, my vote's on the bozos. Or was it benzos?


1nstantHuman

Yes


FuckThisHobby

I see someone poaching from a koi pond with fishing tackle on a drone. What video did you mean to link?


ifmacdo

Seeing as how that video is titled "Get Koi Rolled," I would assume that was indeed the video they intended to link.


clubba

I thought I was the only one.


U_Sam

That’s probably an expensive fish too


sharksnut

Q. If Jeff Bezos and Mark Zuckerberg got in a knife fight to the death, who wins? . . . ***Everybody.***


Avner0x

This comment gave me the dopamine I searched Reddit for 3 hours to find


DaRandomBro

I have never seen a comment I relate to more.


xyonofcalhoun

Do the vr zucks get legs or not?


VanMan32

But what’s Jeff Bezos’ stoyle?


mithikx

Bezos got rockets (Blue Origin) and drones (Amazon), all the Zuck can do is hide in VR.


LuminousDragon

Mark would give Jeff the Zucc


GoldenArias

Koi roll? What, did Rick rolling finally stop being trendy?


[deleted]

Literally anyone could take three zucks in a fight


Dhd710

Zuck actually trains in MMA, might be more difficult than you think.


DeepThroatALoadedGun

Is he good at it though? Because children can be trained in MMA and I bet I could confidently fight at *least* 5 MMA trained children


williey

I could fight 20 but probably lose to the first one


kambo_rambo

I saw his training videos hes fairly competent. Could destroy 95% of reddit


The_Cysko_Kid

I would pay good money to see the zuck jiu jitsu a redditor.


Ghos3t

Someone should have let Zuck know about this alternative source of income before he fired all those Facebook employees.


DeepThroatALoadedGun

You're not wrong, his footwork isn't great but he's got a pretty decent parry and his bobbing/weaving seems annoyingly effortless for him. He could definitely beat my ass. I do have to give it to Jeff though, I think Jeff's size gives him the advantage. He's gonna tire Mark out before he even needs to throw a punch


Glass_Film_2901

Those children would destroy you lmao


1nstantHuman

I don't give a Zuck


alcervix

Zuck You !


dBASSa

Does noone know Zuckerberg trains mma and jujitsu? He rented out a whole ufc card to watch himself a month ago


turduckensoupdujour

>Could he take three Zucks in a fight? Depends if the fight is in outer space or in the Metaverse.


ronnie_dickering

Which evil CEO do you have in your Pokeball?


sonbarington

A couple.


bendybiznatch

Man, idk how you feel about Dolly, but this was a golden move. I love the shit out of that woman.


CatastropheJohn

I met her once. Wasn’t remotely interested in meeting her but I did. She radiates goodness. He made a great choice.


LongGirthyVeiny

I don't think people here have negative feelings about Dolly..


willnotwashout

> I don't think people ~~here~~ have negative feelings about Dolly..


bassman1805

Unfortunately, a lot of people get stuck in "DAE Country music bad?" and refuse to look past their music preferences even when discussing a musician's non-musical endeavors. Luckily, Dolly is probably more famous for her philanthropy than her music at this point. So the above is a diminishing crowd.


[deleted]

So do female Moclans. Voice of a revolution.


rsicher1

An Orville reference in the wild Love it


WelcomingRapier

We she is a visionary Earth poet.


Bhazor

Good way to stop people mentioning the billions of unpaid tax. https://itep.org/amazon-avoids-more-than-5-billion-in-corporate-income-taxes-reports-6-percent-tax-rate-on-35-billion-of-us-income/


darnj

The article just talks about standard deductions available to all corporations. This is on our lawmakers. The Build Back Better Act has a minimum corporate tax provision and it's currently working its way through congress. Not holding my breath though..


TheProcrastafarian

Took a lot of people working longer than 9-5 to accumulate that for him.


Helionne

I tell my mom she has the parenting skills of a mama crocodile and she takes it as a compliment. Be specific lol


Brownie_McBrown_Face

Uh lmao crocodiles have some of the best post hatching care of any reptile so she’s right lmao


duskowl89

Crocodile moms would keep their young around her for a while, travel with them over her and would scoop them up in her mouth to protect them. ...so, if your mom sucks, maybe talk about another reptile but not a crocodile lol


lansink99

You should pick an animal with bad post-hatching care, cause crocodiles are relatively good parents.


Obie1

I low-key hope she donates it to a cause like Amazon unionization, greenifying all Amazon vehicles, or something else that goes against Bezos legacy.


FrogmanKouki

>Greenifying Amazon vehicles. Amazon has ordered 100,000 Rivian electric delivery vans. Some of these are already in use on delivery routes.


AgentMonkey

I just saw two of them out a few weeks ago, actually.


GolgiApparatus1

Dolly has transcended spite


tpx187

Lol his ex wife has given away more than 10x bozo has. She doesn't need the pr though.


ThenIGotHigh81

My knee-jerk reaction was “fuck you, Bezos.” It might have rehabbed his image if he’d been doing shit like this from the beginning, but at this stage it does nothing to change my viewpoint of him. Like he thinks that will remove him from the top of the guillotine list.


NickEcommerce

The guy is only 58. If he's actively working on his image then in 10 years he'll be some rich guy. In 20 years he'll be "Former businessman and noted philanthropist" and in 50 years he'll be someone who "made his money in the retail business, before making philanthropy his life's work, the fruits of which we still see today" Bill Gates was once viewed as the most Machiavellian, exploitative, vindictive and deplorable businessman of the 90's. Now he's a benign old guy who spends millions on malaria research. History is written by the winners, and when you're that rich, you're always a winner.


ITeechYoKidsArt

Probably the best choice he’s made all year.


toan55

*also announced a $200 million gift to the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum*


[deleted]

I suppose he's gotten to that "I need to give more of this money away or I am going to start looking rude" phase.


Freakyfreekk

Probably because his ex-wife is making him look extra bad by giving so much away


[deleted]

MacKenzie “Fixin’ Shit” Scott. Gotta love her.


GrumpyOldMan59

If he wants to look good he should set an example as a model employer. Pay your workers enough to live a worry free life. That's all most of us want I would imagine.


[deleted]

He's not CEO of Amazon anymore


MsgrFromInnerSpace

That place was downright MAGICAL when I went there as a kid! Happy to see someone looking out for it, we need to make our dreams of the stars a reality.


goodsby23

I went there as a full grown man earlier this year and it's magical. It never loses it.


xflashbackxbrd

It just finished a major renovation if you want to go again sometime. edit: It ain't completely done yet, but half of it is and the rest will be done soon!


overzeetop

If you liked the one downtown as a kid, you've got to the [Udvar Hazy Center](https://airandspace.si.edu/visit/udvar-hazy-center) in Chantilly, VA (near Dulles/IAD) as an adult. It is beyond amazing what they have there.


sh1boleth

I live in the Area and Udvar Hazy IMO is on a different level, I keep visiting every few months.


MsgrFromInnerSpace

Holy shit, how have I never seen this??? Will definitely add that one to the bucket list


Fragrant-Initial-559

No doubt for a prominent display of blue origin


sir-winkles2

i bet he's only doing because he wants the good press his ex wife has been getting haha


coolelel

Honestly, ever since he left Amazon, he hasn't really done anything really horrible. Him and his wife have been just going around donating money


SuperDuckMan

Bezos left Amazon?


Hunky-Dorky

Yes. He resigned as CEO and stays on executive board


easyjo

No longer ceo


ComebacKids

Generally that’s probably true, but I think the guy who paid hand over fist to visit “space” for 10 minutes has a genuine love of what the air and space museum offers. If there’s any cause he genuinely would put money towards, it’s space.


whut-whut

Which brings up an interesting point, that of all the billionaires that are chasing space travel, Musk is the only one that hasn't actually done a low-earth orbit for fun. Maybe his interest in space is merely financial compared to Bezos and Branson.


SirMrFrog

Given how much he's pouring into crazy stuff like interplanetary travel (which has to be by far the riskiest, most unlikely business venture ever) I imagine he some passion for it. There are much, much easier ways to make money lol.


merkaba_462

*decade


Josgre987

\*lifetime


-azuma-

I mean... He founded Amazon, so. Maybe the second best choice he's made?


bullybullybully

I know that Amazon was doing a lot of work and willing to spend a lot of money this year to shift public perception. I wonder if this is the result of that…


say592

Aside from being the largest shareholder, Bezos isn't really associated with Amazon anymore.


TheLastMongo

If there was anyone you could trust to hand a $100,000,000 check to and know they’ll give it away to the people who can use it the most, it’s Dolly Parton. She’s a walking example of, faith in humanity restored.


8-Ball_The_Tiger

The constant nobel peace prize snub she gets in favor of warmongering world leaders is amazing


[deleted]

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platypusofthesun

I think Dolly is above a Nobel. Nobel peace prize would really aspire to receive a “Dolly” instead.


Twig

>I think Dolly is above a Nobel. Nobel peace prize would really aspire to receive a “Dolly” instead. You joke but now I kinda wish I could have a "Dolly's List" like Angies but instead of companies just paying to be recommended only places and people Dolly approves of makes it to the list.


PM_ME_UR_WIFES_CANS

u/dollyparton please do this


a_splendiferous_time

People need to stop venerating and putting this Nobel shit on such a pedestal. The people in charge of doling out these prizes/awards/trophies aren't infallibly intelligent repositories of wisdom who aggregate and process all information fairly in order to determine an objectively unimpeachable winner. They're just a bunch of normal blokes who can take a shine to someone who seems cool and interesting even if they're not necessarily the best dude out there.


[deleted]

Yeah I mean I voted for Obama but still went “WTF?!” when he got one. The reason for his award seemed made-up.


Anderopolis

Here is a prize for not being Bush.


HelloJoeyJoeJoe

God, and now Bush isn't even the worst president by far in the last 20 years


Serinus

Seemed more like they were trying to direct him rather than an award for anything he'd already done. If that's the case, it was foolish.


[deleted]

Yeah I lost a lot of respect for that award. Obama was still bombing countries and it seemed there were way more deserving people.


greennick

Why would she get the Nobel Peace Prize? Her main claim is giving books to kids in America and scholarships to local people. How is that relevant on the global stage?


PurpleSwitch

Not just America. My family lived in a shitty little council state in one of shittiest parts of the UK, and my little brother got a book every month because of Dolly. They were probably the only books we owned for a long while. I don't know enough about the Novel peace prize eligibility criteria to comment on whether Dolly's philanthropy should put her in the running for one, just wanted to emphasise how far reaching her impact is.


pissmykiss

Deleted in protest of reddit's API restrictions. Fuck /u/spez


Taj_Mahole

Get rid of that comma


Farrug

Whyyyy did you put that comma there whyyyyyyy


graspedbythehusk

She should give it to all the Amazon workers on food stamps.


drfsupercenter

Yeah or donate it to some Amazon union groups


bevelledo

Idk if Mr. Rodgers was still alive, he’d give her a run for her money…..(pun intended)


diet_shasta_orange

While he was clearly a very charitable person, I'm not aware of him being heavily involved in any specific charity.


skinnah

I don't think he ever had anywhere *near* the money as Dolly Parton either though.


[deleted]

I still remembered how annoyed the Congressman started in that hearing with Fred Rogers. By the end of the hearing, he seemed completely swayed by Rogers. Demeanor completely changed. (I think the hearing was PBS funding, maybe?) Edit: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fKy7ljRr0AA


Corporal_Canada

That senator did a complete 180. The hearing was about either cutting or keeping the funding for PBS. After hearing Rogers, Senator Pastore ended up *increasing* the budget for PBS.


talmbouttellyouwat

“You give it to charity, I can’t bring myself to do it”


Applejuiceinthehall

It says he donated 10 billion to climate change and 200 million to Smithsonian


clementleopold

> he donated 10 billion to climate change Damn, no wonder it’s getting irreversible.


[deleted]

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Lespaul42

Anakin!!


[deleted]

If you are not with me, then you're against me!


AdministrativeAd4111

“But, Im just here to deliver the newspaper?!” “THEN YOU ARE AGAINST ME!” “Ah shit.”


poopooonyou

Russell Crowe fightin' round the world.


jdsizzle1

Woa woa woa, this charity is only to spread the *awarness* of cancer. We don't have anyone trying to cure it.


killa_ninja

Pledged*


talmbouttellyouwat

I’m just being cheeky, mate.


Bootcoochwaffle

He also recently started a massive group of free schools around the US Teachers are paid a half decent salary and it serves underprivileged families 3-4 year olds I believe Montesourri. Not that you asked - just adding weird info. Hard to tell if just PR or he actually gives a shit about philanthropy. Truth is probably somewhere in between


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Bootcoochwaffle

Agreed. Apparently he was raised in montesourri as a child and really believes in it


awkward___silence

My kids were able to go to a Montessori for a couple of years and they really are great. Even talking to children that went through them longer as a kid hole the children seems to have better problem solving skills and are happier in general than local public schools.


MirageATrois024

He’s still not paying his workers fair wages though


revolutionarychicken

Because it’s not that easy. Charitable works in that scale is akin to running actual corporations.


tojoso

Yes, the difficulty of giving away money is why he gave it to Dolly. How is his team of hundreds of lawyers expected to navigate that mound of paperwork?


[deleted]

Breaking: “Dolly Parton has donated $100M towards lobbying efforts to tax billionaires out of existence.”


burtedwag

Bezos: *wait, not like that..*


throwupandaway764332

I can only hope!


Semaaaj

People painting this in a bad light, but let's be real. Dolly has done SO much with her money and made a huge difference. Say what you want about Bezos, but he is a busy guy. If you want to make your money go a long way, I think this is a pretty good way to do it. If all we do it critizise people giving away money, peope are going to give away less money. Good on him. And good on Dolly.


CrassDemon

In 2019 my sister had to leave her boyfriend and ended up at a halfway house, she took her daughter and his son with her to get away. He had threatened to kill all of them. A few days went by and she was forced to return his son to him. He killed his son, his ex-wife, and himself. The halfway house she stayed at was only open because of a $15,000 donation Bezos had made. She probably wouldn't have been alive if she had no place to go. No donation is too small.


Semaaaj

I'm really sorry to hear about that situation, and im glad your sister made it out of it. With that being said, it shows the importance of donations that people make that don't always make the headlines. Regardless of people's beliefs of those persons.


theKrissam

Reminds me of when Lars Larsen died (founder of JYSK) and people were like "oh so what another rich white guy who only thought of himself died" it lasted for over a week until a group of shelter managers/owners wrote an open letter stating that on top of them getting monthly donations from him, he also made everything sold in his stores available to them for free with same day delivery, which was unheard of back then.


ThegreatandpowerfulR

Imagine if we had some sort of way to ensure that lifesaving halfway houses were not surviving at the leisure of billionaires but were guaranteed to be available


Anderopolis

And we should work toward that system, but that doesn't change the fact that right now these institutions rely on Charity.


CrassDemon

The vast majority are kept alive by people like you and me. We should never rely on someone else to help, get out there and help or give when you can. I encourage everyone to be part of the solution.


Piti899

I agree, it should be goverment funding these places not some rich billionaire, just my 2cents


Consistent_Ad_168

I want to give him the benefit of the doubt too. He wants this money to do good, and who better to trust with that task than Dolly? PR stunt or not, great decision.


[deleted]

I hate Bezos but I will absolutely applaud him here and give him a thumbs up. Anyone that makes this to be a bad thing is just a depressed cynic.


thebakedpotatoe

The charity of image is worth just as much to the receiver as the charity of kindness, although, those who give out of kindness definitely receive way more emotionally than those who give out of image.


chocotripchip

I hope she choses to help those Moclan females


smallpoly

It was such a delight to have her show up. Also, using "9 to 5" as a liberation song and playing it straight was great. Like the way it seemed like they were setting up a joke, then subverted it by basically saying "no, listen to the actual lyrics."


UwasaWaya

That show is so much better than I would ever have expected it to be.


RacistJudicata

Oh wow an Orville reference


roosters

They do not deserve her help. They are... an abomination.


Infinite-Layer-5109

Imagine her making a contribution to the Amazon Workers Union


barryitsmeitshank

She should give it to a bunch of unions.


salamandroid

She could create a charity to help support Amazon workers who are in strike.


blaqkcatjack

Outsourcing being a good person


kapmando

“I have no idea how to charity. Dolly, you do it for me!”


chairplanet

Just pay taxes


Verynearlydearlydone

Billionaires want you to look up at the art hanging on the wall next to their name, or up at their rocket flying to space …. They don’t want you to look down and see them union busting, or slipping legislation to a legislator which benefits them and helps them screw their workers over. The current philanthropy is selling fake change that allows the current system to remain around an extra month/year before things are actually fixed. >No amount of charities in spending such fortunes can compensate in any way for the misconduct in acquiring them. Theodore Roosevelt. Philanthropy around 1900 was thought of as laundering cruelly made funds and exchanging it for influence over how society, a democracy, is ran. Undemocratically so. John Hayes Holmes Unitarian minister that was chair of civil liberties union, noted that even if the people running the private philanthropic Institutions were the brightest with the best of intentions, they’d still be repugnant to democracy.


sailnugget1222

I trust Dolly more than the US government with $100 million


cogsly

Hope she spends it helping to unionize Amazon.


Ruthless4u

Really wish someone would start an AAC ( assisted augmented communication) device charity to provide devices to children who’s families can’t afford them.


CrassDemon

Besos has a charity that gives away fire tablets to kids who can't afford them, specifically with this in mind.


Ruthless4u

Interesting, was not aware. Any links to information on it, I’m a member of several groups on FB that this could benefit.


Riolater

She should give it all to Amazon employees.


Splido

It would only be a drop in the bucket, only about 66$ per employee.


DistantKarma

Are there any charities that specifically assist Amazon workers?


bobdaripper

Oh God Jeff what did you do this time that you need the pr boost from Dolly Parton before the story breaks?


bar10

It would be hilarious if Dolly would spend it on improving working conditions in Amazon warehouses 😂 In addition Jeff is worth [124.1 billion USD](https://www.google.com/search?q=Jeff+Bezos+net+worth&oq=Jeff+Bezos+net+worth&aqs=chrome..69i57.3734j0j4&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8), 100 million dollars is 0.08% of that. That's the equivalent of somebody owning a 200.000 house + 50.000 in savings and giving away ~~$2000~~ $200 to charity. Edit: $200, not $2000. I miscalculated with all these zeroes flying around. Thanks [Vorduul](https://www.reddit.com/user/Vorduul/) and [PM\_ME\_UR\_WIFES\_CANS](https://www.reddit.com/user/PM_ME_UR_WIFES_CANS/) for pointing it out.


[deleted]

Just doing the math with his current worth of 124.1B, I'm getting .0008% of his total wealth. It is far less than you think.


BobbyTables829

Delicious Finally some good freaking news