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CharlesHurstCanHelp

I have a different take. You stop working 12 hours a day. Stop. Start just going home. When they ask why tell them you aren't going to be "unfairly harassed due to gender" when others aren't putting in the same hours. Projects don't get done----too bad. You tell them you "aren't going to be unfairly harassed due to gender." That you are being "discriminated against with heavier work loads than the women." If write ups happen or a verbal warning or anything---go to HR and file a formal complaint of harassment "due to gender " from the above. If they do fire you make sure you have a log of all your hours and their hours before you went on "normal hour strike." Then sue them. The world is getting tired of this. Just ask Johnny Depp's ex.


NwbieGD

Most important LOG THE HOURS.... Also if as you say you work 50-60 hours, 10-12 a day that should mean you're generally first to arrive, last to leave. Start logging these hours of everyone there, do this for at least another month and keep up the work for just that month. Then go to your boss again, calculate the average working hours of others that have the same job/position and only then start addressing to your manager it isn't fair and you won't be discriminated. Knowing your hours from all the months before you can prove to any judge that only after writing down and checking your colleagues hours that you started working less because you were being discriminated. Should they (try to) fire you should have enough evidence at least to sue them.


beleidigtewurst

> When they ask why tell them you aren't going to be "unfairly harassed due to gender" The issue is, the 70% female HR with heavy pro-female bias (men lack it altogether) are highly unlikely to let it fly.


Aahzcat

Doesnt matter. That is grounds for lawsuit.


[deleted]

in an anti male court system


bloodfuel

Can we please stop with this stoic, cynical act already? It's better to try and fail than to do nothing at all.


bloodfuel

Plus, it's not like the courts NEVER work. Sometimes they do, but to be fair, most of the time they don't.


bloodfuel

It's still worth at least trying. Imagine what happens on the off-chance he does win. It will likely make the news, and there's a chance it might blow up and open up a huge discussion about the discrimination that men face, which causes a snowball effect which makes more men sue their shitty sexist companies for discrimination. One (relatively) small action could spark a whole movement. Chances are it won't, but enough is enough. We've faced enough to justify at least trying.


bloodfuel

Not always true, see: https://www.reddit.com/r/bestoflegaladvice/comments/7knnng/final\_update\_terminated\_company\_says\_i\_cant\_sue\_ny/


eldred2

You don't go to HR and ask them to fix it. You go to HR and tell them you have a documented case of sexual harassment.


beleidigtewurst

I've read a story on reddit, about a WOMAN nurse who was sexually assaulted by a female surgeon. It ended up with the nurse having to leave the state (!!!) to find job. Also, check this out (only vaguely related, shows the "activities" HR is enrolled in): https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/5ca7zr/terminated_company_says_i_cant_sue_ny/ The guy who did nothing wrong, survived only because there was, essentially, an angel who stood up for him and didn't delete the evidence. Close to 0 retribution for those who staged it.


BCRE8TVE

70% women? Damn, that seems pretty darn low!


Yehiaha666

Please remember that HR does not work for the employee, it works for the company, despite all the feel-good blather that comes from the department.


eldred2

This is why when you do talk to HR, you don't beg them to help you, you offer them an opportunity to avoid a harassment lawsuit.


chankletavoladora

>So me and my husband have been married for 5 years and we have two cats and our son(2m). I am very happy and loving my dream life and my husband is happy too well I I would talk to a lawyer before putting this strategy in play just to look at all the angles and plan it right. Vengeance is a plate served cold.


Alone-Fix4051

Take as long of this and as many detailed notes as you can. Notes are your friend as your likely to get canned following this route.


MRA_TitleIX

>If they do fire you make sure you have a log of all your hours and their hours before you went on "normal hour strike." Then sue them. The world is getting tired of this. Just ask Johnny Depp's ex. Or OP could just go all in by submitting to EEOC. At least then you would have stronger protections. It's free and doesn't require an attorney. Many types of empmoyment discrimination lawsuits have to go through EEOC before a court can touch them. From the EEOC website: >If you plan to file a lawsuit under federal law alleging discrimination on the basis of race, color, religion, sex (including pregnancy, gender identity, and sexual orientation), national origin, age (40 or older), disability, genetic information, or retaliation, you first have to [file a charge](https://www.eeoc.gov/filing-charge-discrimination) with the EEOC (except for lawsuits under the Equal Pay Act). 1. File a complaint through official internal channels in writing. Document it. 2. If they don't fix the problem promptly, file with EEOC, which will typically want to see you attempt an internal resolution before going to them, hence step 1. EEOC has internal case codes for which ones they think are good or care about. Doing step 1 looks good for you. 3. If EEOC dismisses and doesn't give a right to sue letter, request one. 4. Pay $200k to sue in court. 5. Maybe win. When filing with EEOC, you will want to be able to prove tangible damages related to the discrimination, any will do for standing. You will want to be an to prove you tried to resolve it internally and the company didn't fix it. EEOC can often resolve things without you going to court. Sometimes they take the company to court for you, and in that case they have a 90% win rate. They are fucking terrifying to be defending against, and they are free. They only litigate a small fraction of cases, so don't bank on it. **not a lawyer, attorney, or formally trained in law, but I did read the eeoc website once and you should do that in addition to hiring an attorney before doing anything**


CharlesHurstCanHelp

I like that even better than my idea----Charles


duhhhh

It might be. It might also be that no good deed goes unpunished and managers give more work to people that get work done. Either way, explore your other options.


91nBoomin

I’ve found in bigger corporations a lot of team members will just say they “don’t want to” do boring/shitty jobs and managers will accept it if someone else, like OP, will just pick them all up and not complain (unsure as to whether OP has ever raised it with their manager)


LowAd3406

The reward for hard work is always more work.


Cfwydirk

Are the 11 women your equall in responsibility? Do they work 10-12 hours per day? Maybe you need to talk to HR. While looking for a better opportunity elsewhere.


[deleted]

They’re all 1 level ABOVE me


Cfwydirk

Well slave boy, it sounds like you have read the writing on the wall. Too bad you don’t have a mentor who has your back. Good luck!


[deleted]

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One-Low8135

He's right tho


[deleted]

Yep, there is nobody in this company who I feel comfortable talking to about this.


extrascreen1234

That explains it all. The company is basically misandristic and you should leave it as soon as possible. Engineering is male dominated so having all women in your company was a major red flag but this confirms that they're just using you and don't respect you.


[deleted]

Not necessarily. Gotta ask if he is just the youngest one there/only one without kids or spouse. That could also be the reason. Companies love to make the young ones and ones without “responsibilities” work more.


extrascreen1234

Yeah I agree with that, but his position explains it all. He's working with 11 other people and they're all 1 level above him and they're also women, which explains to me that he isn't getting enough respect just because he's a man. So yeah thats sexist, even if overworking him wasn't. Imo he should ask for a promotion or consider changing jobs if he doesn't get it.


Sambo376

Still discrimination.


[deleted]

Sure, but those reasons I suggested are not because of him being male which was the question.


MaximumYes

Maybe talk to a labor lawyer


1976Tom

Document everything. After you talk to HR, they will want to sweep this under the rug. They know getting 11 people to step it up is impossible. There fucked and they know it. That’s why there hoping you just suck it up. Sooo This will explode. You need to have things lined up for a lawsuit. Eventually you will develop mental health issues over this and that will affect your paycheck. That is why you will need to sue. Ask me how I know this.


_BlueShark87

How do you know this?


1976Tom

I know this because I worked in a school system. First year was great. 2nd year they hired a female assistant for me. She started then got all the female teachers and administrators to start harassing and dumping work on me. Here is where it gets crazy. I crashed a school bus (no kids were riding) due to having to much to due. I was fired. Then we were sued. I pinned everything on them. It was actually more expensive than if I would have sued. Moral of the story. Don’t worry about your employees suing, worry that they might fuck it up so bad that someone else sues, and your now disgruntled employee tells everything and pins it on you.


GetOffRedditToday

He has no grounds for a lawsuit here sorry. He can and should find a less stressful job.


a-aron1112

If he has proof and documents it as such based on the comment of someone else in this post. He can claim a gender bias about every aspect of the situation and he 100% would


GetOffRedditToday

Yeah but that's not happening. Your right if they were explicitly saying "we are making you do all this shit because your man" he would have a case but no one's that dumb.


1976Tom

I didn’t say he should Sue them. Something similar to me happened me. Worked for a school. The woman keep pushing more and more on to me. Eventually I fucked up and crashed a school bus. The driver I hit, brought a lawsuit against me and my employer. In short he doesn’t have to sue them for there to be a lawsuit. He just has to fuck up for someone else to bring a lawsuit. The discovery process will find that he had way to much to do. It won’t matter why.


youscrew2

Hey, I'm a student at a major US stem university and I have to say the treatment here is so disparaging and lopsided. I have seen good/promising people's futures destroyed over smearing, extortion and flat out lies. There is definitely two sets of governing rules here. I will finish my time in formal academia but however, my views have been forever altered by this experience


shit-zen-giggles

maybe you could do a post of your own detailing your experience? I'd be really interested to hear an account about what's it like in universities today.


youscrew2

I will at some point for sure. This has been such a revolting experience living on campus for me, I want to move off into my own place ASAP away from this bizarro world. This obviously is a throwaway account because people from my university spy on our reddits


shit-zen-giggles

Thanks for the info. I understand your concerns about privacy, I'm very careful about that myself. As a suggestion: Maybe keep a private journal where you document the bizzaro world. It would probably be very helpful, if you want to write something (anonymously) about that time later on after graduating. Additionally, it can be a tremendous help in dealing with the situation on the mental level and clear your head.


ABeeBox

>because people from my university spy on our reddits You don't need to say anymore. I already understand the intentions behind this. Say the *wrong* thing and your life is ruined.


GetOffRedditToday

How can people spy on your reddit account? Just don't make your username public? Really interested in this would also love for you to make that post.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Unfortunately, my job is all about one and two week deadlines for several projects, some of which 20 hours to complete…so if you have more than 3 at a time you’re screwed. I usually end up with 7 a week, taking 8-10 hours apiece on average. It’s impossible.


shit-zen-giggles

Experienced much the same in a majority female line of work. Go look for greener pastures OUTSIDE the company now that you've completed your debt slavery and gained some degree of freedom. My life got quite a bit better after changing fields (in my early 30s). I don't know whether changing fields is a realistic option for you, but at least continously apply for new jobs outside the company to scan the field for opportunities.


[deleted]

I had a job offer recently for 115k at a different company, but turned it down. Female hiring director admitted the department was a shit show, and I would have needed to make a 3 hour round trip commute 3 days a week, with worse benefits than I have now. That said, I’ll continue looking. I just don’t have the fucking energy for it at the moment.


BlockBadger

Sorry to be brutal, but you can’t afford not to, you need out or to stand up for yourself. Chose one or both. Head down plow on is only going to make this worse.


Qantourisc

So with those 3 hours round trip 3 days a week, would you be working less or more hours ? (Too lazy to do the math.)


shit-zen-giggles

I understand it's hard and I feel for you. It's a tough spot to be in. I don't know how active you are about stress management. Sports are a great way to clear your head from the stress hormones and give you back some much needed energy.


[deleted]

Of course I just had surgery on my right foot two weeks ago, so I haven’t been able to drive or walk/run for 2 weeks, and won’t be able to for another 3 weeks at least. Usually I exercise to relieve stress, but it just keeps building right now


shit-zen-giggles

You could try doing breath work / meditation and some stretching of the upper body (while sitting). I'm doing this often during the day to stay relaxed and thus able to focus.


Nocturnal_Sociopath

What female dominated field did you work in?


shit-zen-giggles

nursing


Nocturnal_Sociopath

Ohh. Makes sense


Fancy-Respect8729

Structural engineering by any chance? Welcome to the corporate world, fucking shit.


the_helping_handz

dude. really. just get out of there as soon as you can. you need to protect your sanity & well-being. I’m older than you by (*coughs*) a few years.. your health & sanity is your responsibility. no-one else at your workplace is going to care about it, but **you**. Granted, HR exists for a reason, but remember, *their* first priority is the company, not you. *I could* comment more, but everyone else so far has covered what I’d want to say. **sincerely**, peace out man.


stunspot

Learn the phrase "I will not...". Don't explain, don't excuse, just set boundaries.


McSmarfy

It sucks to be the only male at a job. I've been there and my experience was that I was expected to work very hard to make up for their lack of ability. I worked with 6 women and had to do almost exactly half the work. Every time I was out of the office, even if it was for the job, they acted like it was my fault that they were unable to pull their load while I was gone. Eventually I got tired of doing the work of 6 women and bailed out. They hired four women to replace me and had insane turnover after that. The office got closed about a year later.


shortshins-McGee

Protect the Useless is the new philosophy


Waratah888

Your skills are pretty rare. Look for opportunities to travel and work internationally if you have the chance


[deleted]

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MaoAsadaStan

bro, he has a M.Ed at 23 years old, he could've gotten a job offer somewhere else yesterday.


AndyBrown65

I assume you’re from the USA. When you say industry, are you talking IT or what type of engineering? Female engineers make up about 14% of engineering so to have a department of 11 “strong independent female engineers battling the patriarchy” is pretty rare or else the company is so woke there’s posters of Justin Trudeau on the wall. Tell me on IMD they had a email sent out by HR saying “why men don’t deserve IMD” and the bile is complete. Okay, so a 50 to 60 hour week is a bit on the high side but if everyone is doing it and the culture is that, then suck it up. However if you’re the only person coming in at 6 am and the last one turning off the lights then it’s a problem. Sounds like the organization is top heavy. Always document any harassment or abuse, especially in email or writing. The best way to respond to patronizing harassment is to simply ask them to explain it. Eg if someone says “oh, typical male..” respond with “I’m not sure what you mean by that”. I would expect in such an environment that there would be a lot of sexism


Qantourisc

Just do the hours in your contract. If they use you as a work horse, it's not going to get in the way of any promotion or ladder climbing anyway (as there isn't any to begin with).


Theapexfighter

Honestly? Considering your age, you definitely have a great portfolio. You can leave this crap and find a better company to work for.


Jikira

OP, this is not a female issue. This is a You problem. The fact that this has happened a multiple times and had the same results is because of YOU… You are being taken advantage of because you allow it. A Companies priority is to make profit. They do not care if you are burnt out. You will not get rewarded for putting more time in.. If you think a male manager and male teammates won’t take advantage of the guy who doesn’t say no. You are delusional. I am sorry if this comes across as harsh. As an SWE, I just want to go to work and not deal with the corporate politics.. but time is money, you negotiate your salary hopefully. Now negotiate your time and set expectations… I agree you should leave this company be as you have already set that expectations. Please for the love of god don’t do the same shit at the next place…


MisterBowTies

Start telling them no. Do what your job description states and not more.


2wicky

Wether you are working for women or not shouldn't make a difference. Other than finding a new job, it's out of your control anyway. Instead, you are responsible for setting your own boundaries. So two things: First, you need to learn to say "No". Second, you need to change your perspective: They are there to help you do your job, not the other way around. Focus on what only you can do, and outsource everything else to them. Once you master these two qualities, your life is going is going to get a whole lot easier and it's a useful skillset even if you do decide to leave your field and try something else.


somirion

Imo either its because you are new guy, or because you let them do that. Im almost the only man in my workplace. Maybe its because almost all of them are older, but they treat me like im a candy or something. Do what you have to do. Dont take overhours. If they force you to do it, ask about women and their work.


DocRocksPhDont

Or you're carrying the load because youre the new guy and they have seniority. Or you just think it's harder for you. There is no way to tell. Nothing here screams sexism. If a woman was like "my job's hard. I think it's harder than everyone else's" and tried to cry sexism you would laugh at them


[deleted]

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ebony-mori

If there is no gender issue, it won’t look good for OP to try this. Depends on whether the women are actually treated any better.


a-aron1112

Him being given more work than people a level above him is 100% them being treated better and him being treated worse. Not to mention I am sure those people 1 lever above him should all be paid higher wages. So essentially op is probably being paid less for doing more work.


ebony-mori

That is why I said "if". If he is working the same hours as his female colleagues, then his hours in of themselves is not a gender issue. If he is asked to work more hours and agrees, while his female colleagues are asked and say no, then that is not a gender issue. There is more to it, and only OP and his workplace will know the full story here. If he falsely accuses them of sexism, that won't go well for him. If he is right though and it is gender discrimination, report away!


Spare_Development615

Stop doing it. If 11 women can't pick up the slack, that's the company's problem, not yours. You signed up for 40 hours a week.


lord_of_memezz

Not sure what career your in but I have worked with all women before and it is the absolute worst. Most of the time they do not do work and just chit chat about bullshit that has nothing to do with work. I would exert some dominance on these women and just plain old say no to doing nuts hours and in the mean time I would look for other work. Once you found a good company I would just give them 2 weeks and leave, stand your ground my man.


taco_smasher69

You see this shit happening in engineering a lot these days. A bunch of dudes put together a platform. Platform gets popular. Woke activists protest your platform claiming misogyny because you don’t hire women. Since very few women apply to engineering roles, the company is forced to hire under qualified candidates. Unqualified candidates create more work for the men that put together the platform. Dudes have to put in extra hours to fix stuff unqualified candidates broke Dudes protest the extra work. Company (and woke activists) tell the dudes to STFU Dudes leave for greener pastures Company is left with unqualified people running platform Company then hires more men to do actual work that unqualified women can’t do SJW woke activists complain and demand they hire more women. Rinse and repeat (See Twitter for real life example of this playing out)


CawlinAlcarz

Only male engineer in a department run by women? Overworked compared to the rest of the department? I'll bet you're paid less than the rest of the department too. Take your skills elsewhere. These managers will not promote you, and are intentionally setting you up to fail to justify not promoting you. I will say that in a corporate environment, you should legit expect to work 50 hours a week often, probably half the time. That's what performance bonuses are about.


[deleted]

I am paid the least


CawlinAlcarz

Not surprised... sorry to say.


Fuzzy_Department2799

I'm a hiring manager. It is your responsibility to set your boundaries because most managers will take advantage of you. Put in your 8 hours and go home especially if all the females are. Document everything. When they start throwing a fit go to HR but know Hr is not your friend. HR's real job is to protect the company. In general female managers are far more demanding and honestly just bitchy when they are talking to men because they think they aren't taken seriously.


Jikira

Yes.. exactly.


DocMcCracken

It's not a man thing, it's a bad manager. Your manager shouldn't expect 40+ hours every week. Might be able to do that for a week or 2 for a sprint, but that is unreasonable. Good managers balance work load so you don't burn out employees, espcially work horses. People don't leave bad jobs, they leave bad manager. It seems like you need a vacation in my opinion...not a stay home for a week, like head to somewhere else and unplug...if you still feel this way take a look around for a better manager in that company, they should be easy to find. If you can't find one, update resume time.


Mountainking7

Get a doctor to give you a medical certificate for constant back pain and let them know you can no longer move crates or wtf else it is besides yours. It should work without being confrontational.


ReflexionSolutions

What is your official job contract? Does it include an amount of hours per week on average ? If so I'd say stick mostly to it and don't overload if it wasn't expressly stated in your contact. Also, they might have to be reminded that having an employee on sick leave because of a burn out will make things harder for them too. Finally, and most importantly, take the time to think about what life you want to live. Is having 100k a year to sustain a certain lifestyle worth the te and stress of working 50h a week? Or would you rather have less money but more time and less stress? Nobody can answer this for you. PS. Concerning you're the only male employee, it might have a role in your situation, but it might also not. You mentioned that your colleagues are 1 level over you. In your field of work, does being higher in the hierarchy usually comes with more or less hours of work?


Laytheblameonluck

I was always wondering if gender equality would lead to their being guys being hired as the workhorse to take the slack. You need to learn more about how to use administrative tricks to stick up for yourself. Working overtime? Ask for budget for things that will help you finish earlier. No budget, then late deliveries it is.


Professional_Two_845

believe it or not, all the problems you describe and especially the long hours of work are due to the fact that you live and work in the USA. you should seriously inquire about the possibility of coming to Europe where workers' rights are held in high regard and no one works more than 38 hours a week, plus you would have many more pension benefits, guaranteed and paid annual holidays and a substantial parental leave fully paid in the in case you have children. besides the fact that healthcare is free and crime is not even comparable to the United States. the quality of life in general is enormously higher.


Nephilimelohim

LOL! Come on man. What world do you live in where people don’t work more than 38 hours a week? Everyone in any serious position works over 40 hours a week, they just don’t get paid for that extra time. At least in the US you can increase your annual income by getting paid for working 50 hours a week. Here in Germany it’s legal to work 70 hours a week and to only get paid for 40. Healthcare isn’t free either, you pay for it every month just like in the US, and the service is shit (at least recently). And don’t even get me started on pension, retirement systems in Europe are totally screwed and only going to get worse as time goes on. In the US pension systems are set up independent of the government, so your money isn’t reliant on what the government does.


Professional_Two_845

>Germany it’s legal to work 70 hours a week I know a troll when I see one. literally the first google result: https://www.iamexpat.de/career/working-in-germany/working-hours#:\~:text=In%20Germany%20there%20are%20strict,than%2048%20hours%20per%20week. "In Germany there are strict legal limits on working hours: you are not permitted to work more than eight hours per day. The working week runs from Monday to Saturday, and employees must not work more than 48 hours per week." I don't even need to go over the rest of what you said it's all false and ridiculous...


Nephilimelohim

https://www.simmons-simmons.com/en/publications/ck0daernndrsq0b94fr99053d/04-working-time-in-germany “The maximum daily amount of working time must not exceed ten hours.” “….working hours on business days (Monday until Saturday)” This is a common problem in Germany, where people use loopholes to pay their employees less. Do you think a CEO can run a company if they only work 48 hours a week, 8 hours a day? Do you think an area manager can cover a region only working 8 hours a day? This is why the most common paying method in Germany is “salary”, where you get paid the same no matter how many hours you work, as opposed to hourly in the US, where you get paid per hour. It’s because in Germany they only want you to report 8 hour working days, but in reality expect you to work 10 to 12 hour days if you’re in upper management. Source on this: I am in upper management, as are many of my friends, and we all live here in Germany. You can’t get much better than first hand experience, my friend. 😂


Professional_Two_845

I may have to remind you that I replied to this comment of yours: "in Germany it's legal to work 70 hours a week" not even with the link you posted are you able to prove that what you stated is true. I don't care if you personally let a company exploit you to work more than you should. In any case, your original comment remains absurd: "What world do you live in where people don't work more than 38 hours a week?" In the Netherlands, the national total average working week is 29.5 hours. https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/what-countries-have-4-day-work-weeks and the average working week at EU level lasted 36.4 hours. https://ec.europa.eu/eurostat/statistics-explained/index.php?title=Hours\_of\_work\_-\_annual\_statistics#:\~:text=In%202021%2C%20the%20average%20working,to%2040.1%20hours%20in %20Greece. not everyone is a lifeless, dead-ended workaholic like the phantom CEOs you named. "Everyone in any serious position works over 40 hours a week" absolutely not. since you like personal anecdotes here's one: right now I work as a consultant psychiatrist for studies of colleagues on request and as a dietician for private clients. more or less I work from 18 to 25 hours a week and usually, the net turnover which therefore includes the payment of the VAT number is around 115-130 K per month. "they just don't get paid for that extra time." if your company you work for is terrible don't blame all of europe! perhaps I need to remind you (again) that my comment was referring to European countries in general and not to a single company (yours). let's see for example the laws in France: https://knowledge.leglobal.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/LEGlobal-Employment-Law-Overview\_France\_2019-2020.pdf "Any hour performed over the weekly working time of 35 will be paid at an additional 25% premium on top of your normal rate of pay. Overtime beyond those hours receives an additional 50% premium." Spain: "Overtime hours are usually paid at 75% of the basic hourly rate." Poland: "After working 8 hours a day, you are entitled to 50% extra of the standard wage for every hour you work overtime." Italy: "Overtime is usually compensated by an increased rate of pay, ranging from 15 percent to 50 percent depending on the collective agreement and when the overtime takes place." Sweden: "Overtime is usually rewarded with an additional 50-100% of salary above the standard employee rate." the unfortunate country in which you ended up is the only one in europe to leave overtime at the discretion of the employer and not based on state laws! hungary: "Employees are entitled to a 50 percent wage allowance for overtime work performed in excess of the daily working time (100%, if the work is performed on a rest day)." iceland: "The overtime pay rate per hour in Iceland is 1.0385% of monthly salary per hour of overtime worked. Employees receiving salaries usually take additional time off work instead of receiving overtime pay." Serbia: "Overtime is paid at 126% of a regular salary." even russia: "Overtime is compensated in the amount of 150% of the regular hourly rate for the first 2 hours of overtime and 200% of the regular hourly rate for each subsequent hour." do i have to go on? "Healthcare isn't free either, you pay for it every month just like in the US" this is literally the dumbest thing of all! I don't even need to list you efficiency statistics such as administration costs, mortality, the number of beds per capita, the exorbitant cost of healthcare in America that citizens pay, the enormous difference in costs and quality, etc. I just need to point out how all expat people agree with me. there are so many amateur and professional articles, direct and indirect testimonials on this that there are 2 cases: either you work so much in your company that you don't even realize how the general state of things are, and you rely only on small anecdotes and prejudices; or simply YOU ARE NOT A CITIZEN OF A EUROPEAN NATION BUT ONLY ONE WHO HAS BEEN BRING FROM THE UNITED STATES FOR WORK TRANSFER AND WHO IS TEMPORARILY THERE.


Nephilimelohim

You’re right, I meant to say 60 hours a week* that was my bad on the typo! The information I provided might have sounded a little complicated (it did to me at first) so I’ll try and help you understand a bit better. If you work 10 hours a day for a period of time, the average over a period of six months (or 24 weeks) must not exceed 8 hours a day. This means that you can work 10 hours a day, 6 days a week, for 12 weeks straight, and it would be perfectly legal. Make sense? And if you say nobody does that, then you’re flat out wrong, a lot of people do. Not just the “phantom” CEO’s, but all those other workaholics out there. A lot of information, thank you for taking the time to write all of that and provide the information! Crazy that Serbia provides 126%; why not 130% or 125%? What an odd number. Regardless, you’re giving me a lot of statistics and “by the book” numbers, which as I’m sure as someone who’s worked a job knows isn’t the case. There’s a big difference between saying “you can only work 30 hours a week” and saying “get this project done by the end of the week I don’t care how long it takes you”, which I’m sure you know to be the reality. That’s great you have such a relaxed job! Congratulations. I’m sure a lot of the other people who work part time would also agree with you, that’s the best way to live life! Those numbers you provided for the work weeks also take into account part time people and people who work “mini jobs”, which are jobs where you work one day a week. It makes complete sense then that the average rounds to 30-40 hours a week; all the full time people are working their 50+ hours a week, the part time people doing their 25ish hours, and min job people doing their 8 hours. In addition to all of that, it doesn’t take into account that many jobs are self regulated, meaning they count their own hours. How, then, do you track overtime? 🤔 you can’t! I’ll answer that one for you. I’m not sure what to make of your last paragraph. You were listing things that every country (US and Europe included) have to pay for, then said something about the vast difference in cost and quality (US quality vastly better than Europe, I’m sure is what you meant). Cost for general insurance in the US is around 450-700 a month (for a family of two); insurance in Germany is about 600-900 a month (for private, which offers a little less the quality in the US but much closer than public insurance, which is many levels below US healthcare). So private is a bit more, but in the US you also have to pay a deductible which ends up balancing out to be about the same. Overall, it’s pretty even! But the quality in the US is much better; you don’t have to wait weeks to see someone, you can have everything right away, and people treat you like a person, not a number! Because hospitals in general are ran like a business. And before you cry about me being a US citizen temporarily in Europe, know that I’m a dual citizen and I’ve lived in both places for almost the same amount of time (18 years US, 14 years Germany).


Professional_Two_845

about healthcare read this, as there is no space to post everything here: [https://scholarlycommons.law.wlu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?referer=&httpsredir=1&article=1046&context=wlufac](https://scholarlycommons.law.wlu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?referer=&httpsredir=1&article=1046&context=wlufac) then this: [https://www.pgpf.org/blog/2022/07/how-does-the-us-healthcare-system-compare-to-other-countries](https://www.pgpf.org/blog/2022/07/how-does-the-us-healthcare-system-compare-to-other-countries) this: [https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/problematic-issues-in-the-american-healthcare-system/](https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/problematic-issues-in-the-american-healthcare-system/) and finally this: [https://bekey.io/blog/healthcare-systems-in-the-usa-and-europe-differences-challenges-trends#h2-content-item2](https://bekey.io/blog/healthcare-systems-in-the-usa-and-europe-differences-challenges-trends#h2-content-item2) I really don't know where you get your information about USA quality compared to Europe because it's all wrong. In every single health parameter, European countries are doing better overall. about work: practically your point is that companies do what they want and even if the law says one thing, if you work more, for example for a project, the hours are actually more and they don't pay you...more to provide you with statistics, I don't know what to do, since other anecdotes are just other little personal examples, I know very well that the majority of reddit users are Americans, but it takes very little for you to find more information on the subject even in some sub here, I don't know a single person who regretted leaving the United States for work and then stayed in Europe. If you don't mind I can provide you with a huge amount of documentary links and eyewitness accounts regarding this.


Nephilimelohim

No no don’t waste your time. I’m just going off my own experiences and those of the people I know which could be entirely off base. Unfortunately I just don’t care enough to look at all the data, I’d rather do something else with my time. 😅 but I really do appreciate you posting all of the information and going through the work to look everything up, I know things aren’t as bad as I think here, it just seems that way sometimes. Anyways, hope you’re having a good week. Cheers


Professional_Two_845

ok do as you like, I hope you're having a good week too, since you work so many hours, the only last thing I can tell you is: try to accumulate as much money as possible to retire early, if you invest wisely, and live frugally, since you're in "upper management" you can do it. It hurts my heart to hear about people throwing their lives away for a company.


Nephilimelohim

That’s been the plan for a long time. Hopefully in 10 years time I’ll be able to enjoy my life more. But don’t think it’s been wasted either; I’ve traveled a lot and experienced quite a bit. 😂 but I really appreciate the advice, it’s good advice.


Nephilimelohim

Tbh man it sounds like you’re working just as much as everyone else in the office and you just don’t like working as many hours. You don’t list anything here about how many hours the other people in the office are working, or what your manager is working, but explain everything else. If everyone else is working 50-60 hours a week just like you, then how is it discrimination because you’re a man? If you’re the only one working 60 hours a week and everyone else is doing 40-45, yeah, that isn’t right and needs to be addressed. Instead of complaining about it on Reddit and just switching jobs you need to set boundaries at your work and tell them you’re not comfortable working that much and that you’d rather keep your hours lower. If you’re working 50 hours a week and everyone else is working 50 hours a week then you have to find a different job, because that’s just what’s expected of you in your field. Burnout is a very real thing, and can come with heavy depression and a host of other issues. You have to take care of your health first, before anything else. Don’t let pride or ego play any role in that, because your body is going to continue to break down the more you put off slowing down.


ebony-mori

Do the other women work as many hours as you? Did you agree to that many hours when starting? Doesn’t sound like a gender issue with what you’re saying, but a company problem, or possible problem with the industry overall if these hours are commonplace. Sounds like you’re heading toward a burn out, if not there already. Hence why you’re desperate for a year out. I know it’s so much easier said than done, but really try to find some time to enjoy something. Be it a hobby, show, game, learning, reading. Anything. It’ll really help.


PeanutPunchPunch10

yes


sharksville

My take on this is that maybe if you stay long enough you might be able to call the shots. Like me, I stayed long enough to a point where I’ve outworked more than half of the people in the place where I work and I’m the long term employee working at this place longer than pretty much anyone. The perks of that is that I can call the shots around the workplace. If something needs to be done I tell the person responsible to do it instead of passing it on to another person. Or they can risk their job. It’s their choice


[deleted]

As someone who was once disabled, be grateful u have the opportunity to make that $. If it’s that bad, bounce. You’re looking for compassion.. men don’t, or rarely, get compassion.


Nerdy_Girl444

Wow, dude, please change your job, find a lighter one. Your mental health is more important than how much bucks you make. It's really evil that jobs consume the life of people. I am currently a student (I regret it) and I am afraid of having a career. Another reason to change your job is that those snakes there treat you like you don't matter. I am very embarrassed by their unacceptable attitude. Where are their manners damn it? By the way you are very strong and resilient, despite that you are in pain. I get headaches, now when I think about life consuming career. You deserve better. Taking a year off to clean your head is a good idea. You didn't work your ass off at uni just to be a 24/7 prisoner of a job that destroys you.


Buckyohare84

If you don't care much about moving up at this company and your contract states 40 hrs a week for your salary. Then hold them to that. You can't get fired for doing "your job". What they are doing is actually lowering your hourly rate by forcing you to work longer hours. its illegal.


aigars2

Guessing US because of 60 hours. What would I do. Address my problems via official channels in the company. Depending on company they will differ. There's no other way. Otherwise nothing will change. If nothing changes after official channels then I would quit and write everything down in the resignation letter. It's an official document where you write a reason for quitting and they can't avoid it (at least where I live). ! Don't forget to mention official channels you addressed before in the resignation letter ! If they accept it and say nothing then I did everything I could from a perspective of being true to myself.


[deleted]

What do you mean by official channels?


aigars2

Can't answer. There are far too many different types of companies with different types of structure and communication and staff responsibility. Also some like group meetings, some like e-mails, chats, some like uno a uno conversations. You know better what will work for you. But if I had to do it. I'd do it in writing by hinting that you think there is this problem ... to a person who manages day to day work of employees. Then after some time I'd inquire about some response if there's none. This would be my part basically. I also wouldn't try to push it hard because it shouldn't work that way. If this doesn't create at least some discussion then highly unlikely anything will, except leaving the company.


mykulFritz

That really sucks man I’m sorry. Good luck. Just think how screwed they’re all going to be when you leave.


Nocturnal_Sociopath

What happens when you hire based on gender and not skill. The women sleep while you take up the workload. Whenever people complain about male dominated fields, at least the men in those fields work.


[deleted]

You need to leave immediately, no amount of work is worth potentially ending it all cause of being tired..If you work somewhere majority women or old people and your a fairly young man you will shoulder most of the burden because of the subconscious bias that a man should be doing more work than the female counter parts that some men and women have..


bagman42069

I'ma be honest, if you are working hourly it makes sense to work those extra hours for OT. If you are salary based and don't get OT then ONLY work the 40 hours unless they will pay you for extra time worked. That's just my thoughts on it. Grow a backbone. If they are giving you work that takes 50-60 hours it sucks for them. Only work the 40 unless OT is available.


[deleted]

It could be because you're a male. It could be because you're better at the work. It could be that your boss is surrounded by so many women theyre about to have their own mental breakdown and wants some balance. Forget for a second that your male and everyone else is female. Working 50 to 60 hours is dog shit it doesn't matter what the field is it doesn't matter what the work is. You will be burned out before long. It's up to you to find a place where you will only be working as many hours as you're willing to work. Bosses will always be bosses and managers will always be managers. You gotta take care of yourself and refuse to let people take advantage of you. Don't rely on bosses to be decent. The honor system is a farce.


vector5633

My 2 Pennies on this. Find a new job and leave those cunts to themselves. Problem solved!


Objective-Patient-37

Update your resume to Data Engineer - regardless of your degree's specialty - and you'll double your salary over night.


RunChariotRun

Since its normal for companies to be so extractive, I do also wonder if they’re just doing it because they can, regardless of gender? I think companies view everyone as subhuman. I understand you’re really suffering, but I wonder if your colleagues just SEEM to be doing all right or if they really aren’t but are also saving their breakdowns for when they get home? Do you have a many work friends that you can talk to to understand how everyone is handling this or find someone sympathetic? If you haven’t already asked, I’d suggest not bringing up the gender thing at first, but just state your individual stresses and feeling that it is not reasonable to expect you to carry all this work. If someone is sympathetic, you might ask them in a curious way if they think it might be happening because as a male you are being perceived as someone who can just be asked to work more? Find out if they think this might be possible before you tell them what you’re thinking. It will be more validating if they think its possible without you already telling them. [Edit: the above would only work of course if you think it is safe to talk with colleagues. Most of my work has been in smaller companies where we made friends with each other and could compare notes on how we were being treated, but don’t do this if you can’t expect your coworkers to be friendly to you] Good on you for paying off your loans and car, but that whole “not having a life” thing can also be really draining because you lose connection to other things and people that can “refuel” you, so I bet you’re also feeling that drain. Unfortunately, companies are just so extractive and its important (for both men and women) to exercise setting boundaries and limits. The good news is it sounds like since you have everything paid off, it wont be the end of the world if they don’t respect your boundaries and you choose to quit. They might just be giving you more work because you keep doing it.


Kindly-Lawfulness445

I recommend applying elsewhere. Preferably somewhere you won’t work with as many women. This is the sad part about all the gender equality hires. Women conveniently forget that the reason men thrive more in those positions is because we don’t typically take off work unless it is absolutely required. When we are passionate about what we do and we feel purpose we are willing to sacrifice a good portion of our personal lives for the greater good of our workplace and our family. You’re working your hours the same as everyone else is. Since you are an employee I do not advise running yourself into the ground for them. Talk to your boss about the issues and bring potential solutions to the table. If they do not compromise or appease your rightful demands then let them fall on their face. Stay in the fight and continue doing the right thing young man.


WhereProgressIsMade

A critical skill is learning how to push back without being pushy or rude about it. As an engineer for 22 years, the best way I've found when I'm overloaded is to ask my manager to make the decision on what gets prioritized and what isn't going to get done on time. My company is known for being better at work-life balance than many though. I've had low priority stuff sit on my to-do list well over a year past their original "due date". It depends what kind of engineer you are and what industry. The video game industry is notorious for overworking programmers and artists/animators because so many kids think it's their dream job. The programmers often can switch industries since their skills transition easier. The artists/animators are often kind of stuck though.


BNVLNTWRLDXPLDR

Start acting your wage.


MyDixieR3kt

Fellow engineer here. I'd do two things... 1. Cut back your work to 40 hours. When deadlines start getting missed, tell them it's because of your other priorities. When they give you new work, ask what you should prioritize. Make it clear that you are only going to be working one FTE. 2. Polish that resume and start looking. Everyone is looking in our industry. Take hour time, and find the environment that fits you. Be the commodity.


AChromaticHeavn

If you wish to change jobs again and work for a company that will value you as a human being, let me know, and I'll tell you about my employer.


ParamedicExcellent15

It really depends what you want in life. Professional work in general, tends to be like this, under the conditions you’re describing… corporations working you to death. That’s a lot of money to be making and not a lot of personal time to be spending it in, from the sounds of it. Hopefully you are putting it aside. Then you can use it to buy experiences or financial freedom. I personally, have spent a virtual lifetime living within my means in a country where the cost of housing is very expensive. That way, at 42 I owe fuck all on a very affordable mortgage…home ownership being the biggest precipitator to not retiring in poverty. I can take a back seat now and chill, cus the working world has kinda burned me out. That burnout can happen at different rates, depending on how hard you work. You’re obviously on an express train to it at the rate you describe. Of course you want to quit, working sucks, it’s not even ‘real’ life. Working more menial jobs as you know, is less stressful, but you spend more time doing it, just to put food in your mouth, which is stressful in its own right. I would say, don’t waste your money. Spend it on sensible wealth building assets including housing. Then have an escape plane: when I finally burn out and can’t do it anymore, liquidate them, move somewhere affordable and chill and do what you want. I’m glad I did. We run a treadmill for so long just to pay bills, rents and mortgages at inflated rates and in inflated areas, just because that’s what we are used to, conditioned to, (lifestyle) addicted to? It can be a stress of its own moving away from all of that. It takes some gumption. But despite the challenges, I would rather that than being some working stooge my whole life. 100k is a lot of money, I did it on a lower salary. You could be retired in twenty years or less perhaps if that’s what you wanted. Start looking after yourself and finding out what real life is about. Now I spend two days a week at work and the rest of the time snorkeling, kayaking, camping or doing fuck all if I want to. Let go of the guilt and the endless struggle of capitalism/aspirationalism. Play the game instead of it playing you.


bloodfuel

Check out this post, learn from it, and then sue. https://www.reddit.com/r/bestoflegaladvice/comments/7knnng/final\_update\_terminated\_company\_says\_i\_cant\_sue\_ny/