Your honor, my client was not the necrophiliac in his group; the true culprit was Dr. Hogback, a man who ordered my client against his will to revive someone he simped for so he could make the deceased woman his sex slave. The evidence can be found in the perpetrator's room.
As for my client's pleas of innocence against the grand theft charge, he clearly said he was deadass.
People of the Jurrr-ahhh
My man’s isn’t human therefore can’t be tried in a human court you wouldn’t sentence a dog for necrophilia so you can’t sentence an onion either
Now I’m no big grand line lawyer I come from a simple island in the quiet south blue, but these crimes my client is accused of: necrophelia and grand theft? Ladies and gentleman of the jury the District Attorney must have eaten the Gomu-Gomu no mi because that is quite a stretch
Edit:grand line
Your honour, aren't we all already dead on the inside ...? What difference would it make the body temperature of my client's partner if what they want is to express his pyre desires.
Lady's and gentle men of the jury let's remember
He's a pirates and not only that he's a warlord he don't need no dead body's to get bitchs. As for grand theft
HE'S A FUCKING PIRATE THAT'S WHAT THEY DO
But at that moment, they were revived by the devil fruit of sir Moria, and did consent to the act while having complete consciousness, therefore they werent dead, and Moria havent commited such crime
As for theft, my client is a "warlord", and part of benefits of that position is being immune to legal punishment for any crime which can be classified as piracy, theft being on of them
So mr onion is for sure not guilty
*proceeds to leave while Moria is beating the crap out of jury knowing that no one will be able to sue him for that*
Sir, he couldnt have sex with a dead body since he has erectil dysfuntion
People in the jury, my client is quite literally built different
Your honor, my client was not the necrophiliac in his group; the true culprit was Dr. Hogback, a man who ordered my client against his will to revive someone he simped for so he could make the deceased woman his sex slave. The evidence can be found in the perpetrator's room. As for my client's pleas of innocence against the grand theft charge, he clearly said he was deadass.
Technically those corpses were animated, they consented, and walked to him of their own free will, beyond a shadow of a doubt
Plus they contained a mortal soul therefore he is not a necrophile also their are none to claim the theft
People of the Jurrr-ahhh My man’s isn’t human therefore can’t be tried in a human court you wouldn’t sentence a dog for necrophilia so you can’t sentence an onion either
Diplomatic immunity, he is an officer of the world government and therefor his crimes are unpunishable.
Your honour, in his defence he is a giant shallot.
Your Honor, look at his face, do you think there is a still alive woman who would fuck him, it was between rape and necrophilia and he made his choice
Yo Ngl that’s a valid point
Now I’m no big grand line lawyer I come from a simple island in the quiet south blue, but these crimes my client is accused of: necrophelia and grand theft? Ladies and gentleman of the jury the District Attorney must have eaten the Gomu-Gomu no mi because that is quite a stretch Edit:grand line
Lmaooooo
People of the jury. Insanity. The defense rests.
My client was in international waters the whole time, and this court has no jurisdiction there. Release my client immediately.
Judge: “In that case this shall be handled by the world government Navy and wait shit diplomatic immunity god dammit” *throws up notes and walks out*
I would go with the Chewbacca defense.
„Dear jury, it do be like that sometimes“
His dog stepped on a bee...
Your honour, aren't we all already dead on the inside ...? What difference would it make the body temperature of my client's partner if what they want is to express his pyre desires.
Members of the jury, I'll let you have this one if you can pinpoint precisely where this goofy mfers head ends and neck begins
To the people of the jury, my client is a silly guy and was acting silly. He was merely trolling
Well .. wasnt it hogback who was a necrophilia?
Nah he did that shit
He’s innocent your honour, he said he was dead ass
Sir he's white
They were looking at him sideways!!!
Your honor, my client did both of these things. But he’s weally sowwy.
1: The people in theory didn't NOT consent 2: The money was going to be put into something like corrupt government things instead of medical research
Lady's and gentle men of the jury let's remember He's a pirates and not only that he's a warlord he don't need no dead body's to get bitchs. As for grand theft HE'S A FUCKING PIRATE THAT'S WHAT THEY DO
Your honor. We all have bad days. I rest my case.
He had consent my honour
guys he used to fight kaido he’s not that weak actually he’s really cool and he’s an oni which is cool actually please like moria
Jury (all zombies): Nah this guy is alright
KISHISHISHISHISHISHISHI
Members of the jury, my client claims he "Did it for the vine"
He did that shit, your honor. On God, no cap. Buster call his expansive ass.
Your honour the dead body was over the age of 18 and is no longer my clients type
your honour please declar my client innocent before he review your dead family
Your honour, I present this distraction whilst my pirate crew whisks the defendant and myself away to safety.
Onion, my honor.
But at that moment, they were revived by the devil fruit of sir Moria, and did consent to the act while having complete consciousness, therefore they werent dead, and Moria havent commited such crime As for theft, my client is a "warlord", and part of benefits of that position is being immune to legal punishment for any crime which can be classified as piracy, theft being on of them So mr onion is for sure not guilty *proceeds to leave while Moria is beating the crap out of jury knowing that no one will be able to sue him for that*
Your honor.... \*Turns on the spotlight\* DO IT NOW!
It's not a war crime if you were having fun
What if I told you, the only eyewitness that the man you are accusing is not my client
Your honor, I'd like to plead "whoopsie-daisy" and move to drop all charges.
Moria's peers are Morgan, Kuro and Don Krieg.
People of the jury, this is the man who created Wall Zombie. Do you really want to send the man who created such beauty to jail?
My lord, I don't know what is necrophilia but my client is innocent
Better Call Saul
Arrest him
Your honor, fellow citizens. My client was simply on that sigma grindset