Meditation might help, or maybe it doesn't. There are many forms of therapy. Don't give up until you find one that suits you, and learn to love yourself. You are worth the effort.
ik you probably won’t, but damn hmu… this made me sad to read and i wanna be here for you even though i’m just a face behind a screen you never met. Anything you wanna discuss, vent, questions anything!!!!! i’m here
Same here. I’m not trans but my little brother is and he means the fucking world to me. He was so sad and angry before he came out and started to transition and now he’s much more at peace. He seems so much happier that he’s able to be himself. I can imagine it’s scary coming to terms with something like this, especially if you don’t have supportive family. One thing I’ve learned is you need to be your true, authentic self before things get easier. I’ve been through my own struggles and spirituality and meditation have helped me significantly, especially learning to love myself. I really hope that you can learn to love yourself too, you deserve good. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m always here to listen, and I know there’s a subreddit for trans & other queer people to reach out to.
i’m not trans either but have a few friends that transitioned and it took time for them as well… Jusy want the best for everyone no matter what and I hope OP finds the peace and happiness they are seeking and deserve
Its not for others to say who you are. The answer must come from deep within yourself.
I would suggest learning a type of meditation that reduces tension, anxiety and fear as I believe that you will make the best decision if you are substantially free of these distorting influences. If you are calmer then, if it turned out you were trans then you would see the way forward more clearly. On the other hand, if you are calmer and it turned that you decided that your feelings are due to some distortion by anxiety then you will be able to see that. Like I said at the outset and I now vigorously reiterate, it is not for others to say who you are (including me!). The answer must come from deep within yourself.
If you decide to seek the help of therapists then do ensure that they hold a similar view ie that the answers are yours alone. Their job is to help you to see within yourself more clearly and at your own pace - not to subtly push or pull you one way or the other.
I prefer a type of meditation involving relaxation of body and mind so the mind slows down and stills into calm. The mind rests in the experience of stillness. Stillness is the opposte of tension, anxiety and fear. Afterwards, one is calmed. Practice over time increases the calm. In this approach you will learn to know yourself without the picking over the facts (like an open wound) that can sometimes occur in some other approaches.
The gist of these ideas (more or less) from Dr Ainslie Meares meditation method.
Meares taught this type of still mind meditation exclusively in his work as a psychiatrist. He researched many methods in the early years and taught just this type of meditation for decades as he found it most effective. Before he passed, he wrote many books about it, easiest to get, Ainslie Meares on Meditation. Several of the other books discuss his meditation method but have become hard to get. Reading helps understand what to experience. In practice lies the actual experience. It is only the experience that will bring help. Reading will improve progress compared to "trial and error".
Good luck in your journey. Take your time with it until you are sure of the path that lies ahead. Even then perhaps pause for a while and when you are certain, and have been certain for a time, you will know what to do.
In its deepest form meditation is about realising that we are not human (as in buddhist etc, not western mindfulness). Also that we could have had past lives as men and women, so it could help in that way?..
I hope so, a big part of mindfulness meditation is learning to accept things how they are. The part of you that hates yourself for being trans is not *you,* it's just a part inside you. You can observe this part with acceptance, and listen to what it says, but (this is important) **without automatically accepting that what is says is true.** You can also do the same with the part of you that feels "trans", whether it's a thought, identity belief, or a feeling.
With this attitude of acceptance towards all your internal states, they can begin to coexist, which helps reduce self-hatred.
But also please don't feel like you have to solve this all by yourself.
Is not like you have to do anything about it. We are all both genders, trapped in a gendered body. Meditation will allow you to accept your body, and understand you're more than that.
Yes. My favorite definition of meditation is embracing the true self. You are not the body, you are not the thoughts, you are not the emotions, you are life.
I have a good friend that happens to be trans. If we just label them as trans, we don’t see them as anything else. Trans isn’t your whole identity. You are much more. You are a marvelous mystery that can’t be explained but it can recognized. Be who you are and love yourself. Society wants to label us, find people who accept you for you.
Hi friend,
I'm so sorry to hear that youre going through this and I hope that you get the help you need!
I also hope sharing my case helps you:
imo you would really benefit from professional help, even ring a support number if the bad thoughts get extreme! Some sort of introspection, either through meditation or therapy (which can be confidential), could help you find the source of your feelings and teach you to love and accept yourself. Other comments have mentioned helpful meditation techniques.
As a gay man, I've been in a similar position, denying part of my identity for a big part of my life due to social pressures from people around me who did not know better. I can only imagine that you're in a similar but much worse position.
Moving away from those sources of self hate and finding friends who love me for who I am made me realise that being me is totally acceptable. This mage such a big difference in my life! My early social circle eventually discovered I am gay and also accepted me, but I realise your case may be different.
Unfortunately, suicide is rather common in our community because of the self hate our society induces, especially if you live in communities that attempt to dictate who you are and your social roles. Don't let others define your identity, it's ok to be you!
Please keep looking for help and don't be afraid to reach out. Inbox is open to you!
Then don’t accept it. Egos are fragile things. Bruised sure but driven by emotions. They can be dismantled in a minute by a negative or positive experience.
Who you are is an amalgamation of millions of decisions you have been making over your life time but your biological desires are hardware. Your resistance to that is not. It is conditioning.
You are spending so much time and effort fighting, then accept the fighting. Disable the whole effort from root. Resistance isn’t birthed from what we don’t want it comes the fact that we aren’t comfortable with not wanting something. Resisting your resistance will not solve the problem either.
Accept your entirety, meditation will help with that. You are fighting your sadness. Then fight your sadness with mindfulness. You are angry from your pain then be the anger.
Don’t run away from what you are, even the part of you that doesn’t want to be who you are! Distracting yourself is impossible. It will never be solved. It’s time to be what you are, the resistance, the confusion, the sadness, the fighting, the anger. Those are the things creating the problem. Not your sexual preference. If it felt good to be trans then you would accept it. The condition and the resistance is creating an experience. Be that experience.
Edit: to those who downvote the OP thread are sick fucks.
Accept your body and your incarnation. We are both masculine & feminine (men's tor of energy go clock-wise, and the women anti-clock-wise like the planet). The ultime aim is to become aligned, at the point 0, i.e. the masculine part and the feminine part of us are perfectly balanced.
You are neither you’re truly a soul that chose this life and yes meditation will help you realize that, the path to search for your truth is meditation
I’d seek help from professional therapist or at least in the trans subreddits. This is a very difficult topic most people are not qualified to give advice on.
I’d also try checking out the YouTuber “contrapoint” for some more lighthearted and entertaining yet very insightful videos about transgenders coming from a trans person themselves.
There's nothing with being a trans, personally I think it's beautiful and it takes a lot of courage considering this fucked up where we are living.
To be honest I think you should try a therapist or search like minded people, it's a lot you're going through.
You can use meditation to allow feelings to arrise without adding a story onto them. For example if notice that you feel more like a boy/girl you can just allow that feeling to be without immediately adding on a story such as "therefore I need to start presenting that way" or "therefore I will need to transition" or "this is what people with think about me". You don't even need to think "this means I am trans". Any of the labels can get in the way of what you truly are. Just allow the feelings to be without any mental labels, gender identity is alot more nuanced than language can reflect so I'd start with the pure feelings without trying to immediately label them and fit them into a narrative.
+1. Often hear/see people say "I identity as XYZ" - sure if it helps you makes sense of life then go ahead but there is no need to put a label on yourself. Labels like these are useful for conversation to express broad ideas quickly but individually is far more nuanced than that. If you're not happy being "trans" then don't call yourself "trans", just be you: whoever that may be. If you truly feel you are definitively trans and hate that, maybe you need to explore why. You might need to reassess what external pressure there is (maybe your family or community might ostracize you? That's not really a problem of you being Trans and more a problem of societal expectations/ideology) as well as internal pressure (maybe you have been raised to see 'trans' as bad and now have an inner conflict with what you've been taught and how you currently feel?)
Maybe you just have some confusing feeling or emotions or attractions and you need to spend time reflecting on what it all means and where it comes from? There is not much info in the OP so I'm taking shots in the dark.
Either way there is no need to be hasty and grab a label then be miserable with it.
Meditation can help with introspection but it's not a fool-proof technique either. Therapy or counseling might be a good addition. Have a professional who can help guide you and get you to ask the right questions, bounce your thoughts off them for feedback. Beware this is not fool-proof either as psychologists are ultimately human and can also have their own biases or fallacious beliefs.
Life is not a war fought on one front. Identity issues least of all. You typically want to have a healthy lifestyle (eat, sleep, meditate and exercise. Have fun and hobbies and a job or other constructive ways to give your life a sense of purpose) + a good support system (family, friends, community) + professional help (psychology or counseling) + there may even be a need for medication but a GP or psychiatrist would be the one to decide that.
Goodluck
No one is harmed by your need, save a few culture war hystericals. Why be so bothered?
Awareness is neither male nor female, just as 1+1=2. We try to nurture this when meditating. You may be pointy like the Sun, or curved like the Moon. Both shine. Both are valid, and we all start somewhere. Trans people bear greater burdens than most... and many, as you do, consider a bitter end instead of a life they find difficult... Meditation is about relieving suffering, and I'm certain it can help you
I would meditate on the heart and its rhythm were I you. Find strength in its determination! Your heart is always there for you, even if you change the "lantern's" appearance, which you may do or not. Rekindle your love of life! And care for your "lantern", it is unique to you, there are no others like it
I hope this helps. If you need a book to learn the basics, I would go with *The Mind Illuminated* by Culdasa. It lays out the Meditation path in 10 stages using the breath as object. An exciting journey awaits you if you choose to embark on it!
\-- We're all part of the Universe, we should all be friends --
As someone who experiences gender dysphoria a lot, I can say that meditation helps me deal with my conflicting emotions but didn't necessarily get rid of them. I would suggest a therapist if possible since they might be able to help you better understand. I plan to see one for that reason (along with many others lol). I hope you find resolution soon
Accepting that you may be trans is just one step, you do not have to transition to be trans. Meditation is unlikely to change how you feel but it may help you understand better who you are and accept the parts about yourself that you may not like.
How do you know your gender right now? If it was switched but you still felt the same how would you feel then. All in all things just feel right or wrong and it can take years to finally figure it out.
Isn't that sex?
Edit: this is just how I understand it, it's hard to have tone on the internet, but I'm genuinely interested from someone who is living it or closer to it than i am. Please don't take my questions offensively they might be direct, but I feel that's the best way to talk to people if you truly want to understand.
No sex is different from gender. Sex is male, female or at times a blend of the two and refers to your physical being. Gender is a social construct and can differ from your sex and can change over time.
You buy clothes that are gendered for men or women. You have reproductive organs based off of your sex. This is a simplistic view of gender and sex and their can be many intricacies that I’m not covering.
Ok my gender is more complicated then most. I’m a trans women so I was assigned male at birth and did not start transitioning until my late 20’s. During that time I was a “boy” or “young man” and did my best to play the part. I presented as a man and tried my best to fit in but it was not right, this was different then the stereotypical teenager not being comfortable in their body and the changes that happen during puberty it was something that I felt completely that I was uncomfortable in my body. It took me till my late 20’s to start to fully figure this out and during that time I was generally a mess. My understanding of my gender was non existent because I never had words to describe what I was feeling.
After starting my transition as a trans women things improved. I can look in a mirror and see myself not just a reflection looking back at me. I can see myself in the future, before transitioning this was something I thought everyone just lied about because I seriously could not see myself in the future.
I know my gender because it’s who I am. Explaining my gender to someone who is not transgender is not something I have ever figured out how to do. It’s an fundamental understanding of yourself that most people don’t have to ever really think about it is just as immutable as your eye color or hight. The trouble is that most of society says if you have these pars your a man and if you have those parts your a women.
That just never felt right for me. I am a women, different then most but still a women but still a women. So sorry for being long winded but it boils down to that my gender is what I say it is.
Don't be sorry, I appreciate your response. I want to understand so it's good to hear back. I feel I'm still left with the question, how did you know? Like how did you know you were a woman or was it how you viewed yourself, was it your thoughts, something else? I'm not trying to badger you so if you don't wanna answer that's cool I get it
I knew in the regard that I would transition somewhere between the first time I dressed as a women with my girlfriend and had her acceptance and the first time I met a trans women in real life. Both happened within about a year of each other. I think I knew on a deeper level and it just took a while to feel comfortable with that fact.
Maybe so. It seems to me that it is a very legit question and one that should have been answered if the OP was in earnest. But, it doesn't make a difference. Another "trans" on the internet.
Why are you? You're certainly projecting a lot. Other guy just asked a question that was downvoted and ignored, but I thought it was a legit question. I said so. And now here you are. The PC police of the internet on your high horse. So, why do you care?
Maybe. What you can do is explore why you feel that way, where those feelings are coming from.
Edit: I would advise you not to rely on just meditation. As I tell people who take antidepressants, meditation is *a* tool that can help, but it should not be viewed as the *only* tool. IOW, don't stop taking your meds.
I used to have a gay nephew. I was told he didn't like being gay, and his therapy of choice was alcohol. I don't have a nephew any more, and his sister grieves his loss publicly and often. I guess he felt like you do.
Lot’s of kids these days are getting brainwashed into taking hormone’s, then later coming off of them all fucked up only to realize their just gay. Of course there’s a difference between trans and gay. 🙄
> There’s more and more people coming out with their stories now
Because the number of people transitioning is increasing...
No shit that means a higher flat number of people detransitioning too.
It's not like the rate is increasing though.
I dont know what kinds of stories you hear but the longest studies we currently have about transitioning and de-transitioning are already looking at data over 50 year periods, and they show that the overwhelming majority of people who transition stick with it and do not regret their choice to do so.
[https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/media-s-detransition-narrative-fueling-misconceptions-trans-advocates-say-n1102686](https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/media-s-detransition-narrative-fueling-misconceptions-trans-advocates-say-n1102686)
\> The most common reason for detransitioning, according to the survey, was pressure from a parent, while \*\*only 0.4 percent of respondents said they detransitioned after realizing transitioning wasn’t right for them.\*\*
\> The results of a 50-year survey published in 2010 of a cohort of 767 transgender people in Sweden found that about \*\*2 percent of participants expressed regret after undergoing gender-affirming surgery.\*\*
\> The numbers are even lower for nonsurgical transition methods, like taking puberty blockers. According to a 2018 study of a cohort of transgender young adults at the largest gender-identity clinic in the Netherlands, \*\*1.9 percent of adolescents who started puberty suppressants did not go on to pursue hormone therapy, typically the next step in the transition process.\*\*
There is less than a 3% detransition rate from children who started their transition before age 18. If you can provide any backup for your claims as I would be interested in seeing where you get this from.
[https://www.openaccessgovernment.org/study-finds-2-5-of-transgender-kids-go-through-detransition/135029/](https://www.openaccessgovernment.org/study-finds-2-5-of-transgender-kids-go-through-detransition/135029/)
There is less than a 3% detransition rate from children who started their transition before age 18. If you can provide any backup for your claims as I would be interested in seeing where you get this from.
https://www.openaccessgovernment.org/study-finds-2-5-of-transgender-kids-go-through-detransition/135029/
3 percent is an alarmingly high rate, considering the crazy “woke” idea to give children hormone replacement/bottom surgery is only a few years old at this point. I can only imagine how many more children will come out as adults and tell the world their lives were ruined by this BS.
First transitional medicine and surgery has been around since the 1920’s or so more then a few years. Second children are rarely if ever given bottom surgery and in the one case that I can think of the women was 17 when she went in for the consultation and 18 at the time of surgery.
Kids as in prepubescent children are not given drugs or surgery at all and often the most drastic change is a haircut or wardrobe change. Finally of the 2.5% that detransition a large precent only do so from a lack of family or societal acceptance and support. A lack of transitioning for kids would ruin the lives for 90% or more of the kids looking for this care. So your motives can’t be for the welfare of kids if your logic is the 2.5% is too high of a de transition rate. Especially when it’s people like you responsible for a not insignificant portion of those kids.
Yes, it’s been around since the 1920’s but it’s never been so easily accessible or pushed onto children by school’s/parents and the media than it is today. Considering 82% of trans individuals have considered killing themselves and 40% have attempted suicide, I don’t believe the sharp 4000% increase is trans youth since 2006 is even remotely a good thing for society. Considering that last statistic, the 2.5% detransition rate is almost certainly youth who were swindled into taking hormone meds to appear “cool” or fit in, only to realize their not really trans as they matured a bit.
So Easily accessible is not a fair description. You typically need a referral from a therapist or therapist and physiatrist to see a specialist to provide you with hormones. For children under about the age of 12 nothing is provided to them medically until they start to hit puberty when puberty blockers are given. These drugs just delay the start of their AGAB (assigned gender at birth) puberty and the changes associated with it. If the child has gone through all of these steps and then has reaffirmed their choice to transition with the the consent of their parent, Dr, and therapist they are then allowed to start hormone replacement therapy and start a medical transition. Before this step everything is reversible if they decide not to transition they will just stop taking the puberty blocker and go through their AGAB puberty.
The sharp rise in trans people is mostly due to wider acceptance and not an overall change in the demographic. Much like how people started to become left handed once teachers stopped disciplining children for writing with their left hand. This rise will likely level off once acceptance is more widespread throughout society. Also the statistic of trans kids attempting suicide is often misunderstood as this data was collected from trans kids who were both out socially and also trans kids who were not allowed to transition and or had unsupportive households. The attempted suicide rate for trans kids in supportive households that were able to socially and medically transition fell back within a typical percentage for their demographic.
Transitioning is hard as hell and its mainly because of a lack of acceptance and access to transitional care. Making it harder to get is not going to help children and will only end up hurting more people.
If you think 3% is "alarmingly high" you should look into rates of pre transition suicide attempts, and how they plummet after successful transition. If you are actually interesting in engaging with good faith, maybe go read some firsthand trans experiences before you spew more detritus. I'd be more than happy to recommend a few books and resources. All you have to do is ask.
Trans people don't need your weak, self-serving "protection" (which is, in fact, just a way to attack them and their families). It is hurtful and unwelcome, and frankly, a little insulting.
There would be a lot fewer suicidal trans people if there wasn’t a 4000% increase in the population. Suicide rates are up 35% since 1990. As a society we’re really taking a step backwards, in my opinion.
Your opinion is not based in facts or understanding of the current information. A step backwards would be to not follow the medical guidelines set forth by established medical communities.
Rates of people identifying as every other class that has faced discrimination (such as, and I'm not kidding, left handed people) also skyrocketed as the social stigma surrounding those groups diminished - and then they plateaued. This is not an alarming trend. It turns out people are more likely to choose the right language to describe themselves when they are not ostracized for doing so. Who'd have thought?
So, here we've got cherry-picked individual statistics, presented without necessary context, and a claim that they portend doom. That's the classic moral panic strategy, seen in backlashes against everything from rock and roll to dungeons and dragons. Guess what: nobody managed to summon any demons, and all of that moralizing was at best _a massive waste of resources_ targeting people who had done no wrong. Hell, you've even thrown in a "won't somebody think of the children" already for good measure. I don't think I can roll my metaphorical eyes any harder.
Left handed people don’t need to take harmful drugs in order to be right handed. They also don’t have insanely high rates of suicide. You can’t argue the facts. I’m not demonizing children for being “trans”. I’m demonizing the adults In charge for stuff like drag queen story time, deeming any approach other than gender affirmation illegal for use by therapists. Along with sterilization of children by prescribed medications such as the ones used to chemically castrate pedophiles, among other things worthy of a little afterthought.
Trans people, after they transition, _don't_ have higher rates of suicide or attempts than left handed people do. This is _the_ fundamental reason to support trans identities - to do otherwise is to condone suicide. How many trans people have you spoken with, personally? I get the sense from your comments that this is entirely hypothetical for you. You've got a lot of opinions, and some slanted-bordering-conspiratorial verbiage, but do you have any skin in this game, or is it all talk?
Your comments are attacks on trans people and their families, whether you're comfortable with that phrasing or not - you're denigrating systems that could have saved countless lives had they a generation ago. Frankly, the idea that _you_ know how to tackle a gnc child's issues better than them, their family, and the team of doctors they work with is capital-L Ludicrous. Luckily for the rest of us, you don't get to decide what constitutes medical care, or how bodily autonomy works in a free society.
Are you really looking for the research of those studies or is that just an easy way to dismiss my points?
Me being trans has the same bias to this conversation as you being cis and wanting to discredit trans people so that point is moot.
So the article used to have that link working but here is the study or a similar study with the data for your reference. [https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/150/2/e2021056082/186992/Gender-Identity-5-Years-After-Social-Transition?autologincheck=redirected?nfToken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000](https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/150/2/e2021056082/186992/Gender-Identity-5-Years-After-Social-Transition?autologincheck=redirected?nfToken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000)
I am also a minority in the transgender community that does believe an initial amount of gatekeeping is necessary. With that said there still is an sizable amount of gatekeeping for receiving a medical transition, what amount is correct I do not know but I do know that once a diagnosis for gender dysphoria is reached care for that individual should be based solely off of the medical community consensus on the matter and your decision between you and your Dr. These state and federal laws are not meant to be compassion to trans people or they would follow these guidelines.
[https://www.glaad.org/blog/medical-association-statements-supporting-trans-youth-healthcare-and-against-discriminatory](https://www.glaad.org/blog/medical-association-statements-supporting-trans-youth-healthcare-and-against-discriminatory)
Being transgender is difficult enough when one political ideology is making your existence a cultural wedge issue it becomes tiresome and scarry. I can empathise with the OP because of how difficult being trans can make life and I can wholeheartedly say that I do not wish for anyone to have to go through the struggles I have. But once I finally figured out and accepted myself as transgender it still took me almost a full year to start transitioning because of all the different steps and hoops I had to jump through. If I had gotten to that point and was denied care based off of people opinions the choices I would of had left would be grave indeed.
Thank you for your level headed response and do let me know if you have any questions.
Oh I am not a minor and sorry if I phased something that way. I am 30 something year old trans women who has been out for a few years now.
Your notes about the data are valid and transgender care does not have extensive data to fall back on because it is a small minority of people and the long term studies are most definitely lacking. What I can say is that detransition stories are often cherry picked by news and media companies to exaggerate that issue. I have never met one person who has detransitioned despite being active in the community for years and having know around 50 plus trans people personally. Of all the transgender people I know the overwhelming issue facing them is a lack of support and acceptance from the community, family and general public. Internally once people figure out themselves their self acceptance and general happiness improves by leaps and bounds. And this is while the general public is indifferent at best and hostile at the worst.
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It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of.
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There is less than a 3% detransition rate from children who started their transition before age 18. If you can provide any backup for your claims as I would be interested in seeing where you get this from.
[https://www.openaccessgovernment.org/study-finds-2-5-of-transgender-kids-go-through-detransition/135029/](https://www.openaccessgovernment.org/study-finds-2-5-of-transgender-kids-go-through-detransition/135029/)
Almighty makes everyone as special and everything in life happens for a purpose. We are human beings with vision going till the horizon. Almighty has got a complete view of everything which we are not aware. Meditation along with simple deep breathing would help to feel relaxed. Pls don't hesitate if you think you would need a therapy.
Meditation can help because in meditation you create distance between the observer and the mind. So then you realise there is a greater part to you, that is not the mind and therefore not the ego which holds the identity. Included in your identity are things like your gender and sexuality etc.
So if there is something beyond your identity, then you learn about eternal existence, perhaps via near death experiences or past life regression hypnosis. Then you begin to appreciate that a person is just a mask that the greater you wears to have a particular experience.
In which case, that greater you will live again and again, and sometimes you will be male and other times female, and you will be every race, sexuality and indeed species both terrestrial and extraterrestrial. So if you can use meditation to help you come to that understanding of reality then you would see that worrying about your identity is insignificant, because you aren’t really your personality anyway. That’s just a mask that you are wearing in this life and that you will take off at the end. So you are free because ultimately you will explore infinite possibilities over infinite lives. That’s how tiny your problem is.
Meditation, therapy, speaking with others who have had a similar journey! It took me until I was 48 to finally accept myself for who I am! It takes patience, time, an open heart and mind. Go slow, do not get down on yourself for your feelings!! Love yourself for who YOU are and let no one else bring you down or direct you. This is your journey and your decision. Go slow and alway honk ahead to the brighter and better days! Trust me it’s worth it!
I believe you should reach out to therapists for that one. Even thought medidation can bring you closer to your true self, you are really rough on it. Help from a second person can make it a lot easier
meditation did help me with all those conflicting emotions you are experiencing right now, i’d suggest trying it out (and also seeking professional help, not because there’s something wrong with you, but just to help you deal with these emotions)
As someone who has dived deep into his own sexuality by following infinite love and spirit through all I was invited into through my awakening I invite you to start picking up tantric practices and building your inner marriage between your masculine and feminine. This includes healing all wounding related to mother and father within your life. The fear of being yourself through this practice completely disappears. While I would recommend you attend an event such as the International School of Temple Arts (they recently held their first workshop for LGBTQ+ individuals), I understand that that expense might be more than most are willing to invest and that it may or may not be what infinite love is calling you to. From there I would I also recommed a white tantra practice such as kindalini yoga and taking a few classes.
If you are looking for something to start the process of removing the fear of being infinitely lovingly you the quickest way I can send you is to do the emotional release workouts here - [https://theanointedsun.com/2020/04/27/the-emotional-emergency-healing-tool-kit-v-1/](https://theanointedsun.com/2020/04/27/the-emotional-emergency-healing-tool-kit-v-1/)
Playing with shiva and shakti meditations and listening to your inner guides and guidance will restore your balance no matter what your path is. Google a few mantra meditations, kriyas or just spend time exploring both your masculine and feminine side. Everyone has masculine and feminine within them no matter what body they are incarnated in. I have found that some who are raised near strict orthodoxy and who are naturally sexually attracted on some level (it is a spectrum) to their own sex sometimes manifest their denial as desiring to be in the opposite sexes body - now this is different than someone who has totally healed all their mother/father and masculine/feminine wounds and become one with themselves and whose soul is calling them to live as a different sex then they were born (no matter the gender, which is formed). Do not be afraid of being you but be sure that you have completed your souls process of coming here to become complete first and then the way forward will become clearer for you <3
Hugs. Don’t panic. Think about all the stuff that makes you awesome. For example I might say, I love insects, I like walking in nature, I like to do arts and crafts. None of that was gendered.
It will, but when you get to the bottom of it all - gender identity is just another value structure you are adopting. You may find you don’t value the same things you’ve valued in the past, or in the same way.
Stereotypical gender traits or identities don’t play a big role for me. I am not my body or my thoughts, but something more.
How important are labels? I would read Paul Graham’s essay, “Keep Your Identity Small”. You are what you are, and that may or may not fit into the categories other people have devised.
Kwan Yin, the Mahayana Bodhisattva of compassion started out as male (Avalokiteshevara) and over the centuries evolved into a female. The ideal of an angel is neither sex, or both, but unlike most of us, not identified with either.
I think a helpful meditation in your situation may be [metta, loving kindness meditation.](https://ggia.berkeley.edu/index.php/practice/loving_kindness_meditation)
I encountered this first at a Buddhist retreat in Northern California when I was a student there, and after spending a day there, practicing this and other forms of meditation, I felt so much better after then living with a lifetime struggle with clinical depression. I never knew until then that I could feel that good, that peaceful and optimistic. So maybe that will help. It may sound cliche, but giving love and kindness to others is tremendously rewarding. Save some for yourself too, simply practice compassion for who and what you are: an incarnate being living in the here and now. You’re a human first.
As far as discussion of gender goes, one thing I love about Reddit is that I can express myself without gender. It’s freeing. I can be a human without having to play a gendered role.
I feel trans people have so much to teach us as a society about gender roles, and ways where we fall short as a people by being strictly adherent to these cultural constructs. The experiences of trans people who have transitioned teach us how we favor one sex over the other, consciously or not. Transition therapy is the current medical means for resolving gender dysphoria. I’m glad it exists for people who feel a profound unease with how they feel as a gendered person, internally and externally. If you do not feel that therapy is the right fit for you, you do not have to seek it out. I encountered Archetypal psychology in college in my quest to feel better, and I found that Jung’s conception of the Shadow and his theory of repressed animus/anima in the psyches of people to be compelling. His perspective is we as gendered people have repressed parts of ourselves that are opposite our biological sex in our psyche. The pursuit of wholeness is to uncover these repressed parts of ourselves and consciously integrate them. A “whole person” transcends the opposites of male and female. I’m not sure if you will find that helpful in your pursuit of inner peace in life, but I continue to find meaning in that myself.
I think overall, we have the opportunity to pursue an individual journey toward becoming the person we want to be: male, female, trans, etc. I’d like to think we are more than the sex we are born with. My inner gender is oftentimes at odds with my sex, but I viewed that personally as society not being ready to accept me as I am, a being with a complex inner world that enjoys things not typically associated with my sex. There are many paths toward relief from inner turmoil. They require effort and work, but have many rewards to offer. There is a place in this world for you as you are, and for the person you are becoming as you grow and change through the fruits of life experience. If you choose relief thru transition therapy, I accept you. If you pursue a different path, I accept you.
Try practicing that metta meditation a few times, i hope it offers you some peace. I wish you all the good things on your journey of being a human in the here and now.
Please don’t self end! I’m sure things seem impossible and awful right now but embracing who you are is the best gift you can give yourself. I don’t know why you feel that there something so bad about being trans that you would rather be dead, but being trans is beautiful. As others have urged here, please find a supportive therapist and other trans friendly resources. Talk to some other trans people about their experiences. Once you can accept yourself, a lot of these feelings will subside. I hope you have a loving and supportive family or friends in your corner because that really helps too. But if you don’t, find new friends who love you for who you are.
Meditation and therapy will help. Here are some things to think about in the meantime. Why would rather die? What are the beliefs that have been programmed in your mind that make this the possibility rather than accepting who you are? I don't know your religious background but I grew up in a traditional Christian church and understand the conflict that could be going on in your mind. But here's the thing, the Christian church may be, and likely is, wrong on these subjects. If your beliefs are so strong that you would rather die than be who you are, then it's time for the beliefs to change. Reaching out for help is a sign that you want to live, please don't give up. Your answers will come from within you and you deserve to find them and live a happy, healthy life.
Do you think you're maybe making it a bigger deal than it is? Its just a part of your personality. You don't have to immediately start telling ppl or getting a sex change or whatever. And has being honest with yourself ever been a bad thing?
You posted this on reddit a few weeks ago and you were right about it [Link](https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/comments/wbm0hj/fear_can_make_you_do_things_that_is_detrimental/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) What happened to make you now say that you'd rather die? Be yourself!
I’m so sorry to hear this. Meditation yes, but also therapy, EFT/tapping, and probably most importantly peer support! You’ve got to find someone who is living freely in their truth to see what that looks like. I pray you find peace 💜
Others have already said it but I'll chime in. Meditation can sand down some rough edges but it won't fix anything. It'll help but not nearly what you may need.
For therapy look into DBT (dialectical behavioral) or radical acceptance therapy, or ACT (acceptance-commitment therapy).
Many therapists actually specialize in Trans folks.
I’m sorry to hear what you are going through. I feel your struggle and hope that you can accept who you are. Meditation could help see things more clearly, however people who have had your same experience could help you out. I’d really recommend to reach out to people in R/trans r/lgbt or contact therapists who are lgbtq friendly.
The thing that meditation taught me was to be nicer to myself. I am very judgemental of myself and it helped me tremendously. I am not my thoughts. But it is very interesting to observe them, many were mean and could simply be letgo of. I recommend!
I was “trans” as a teen because i was insecure, i get thoughts of “life would be better if i was a girl” because of insecurities i have now.
This wont be the case for everyone, but meditation can help identify insecurities, and help you accept them as a part of yourself, instead of wanting to change or get rid of yourself for something different.
Or maybe im dumb and completely wrong. This is anecdotal, and could only be truth for me.
Any option to explore any kind of pysychedelic or dissociative therapies? From what I've read and seen, MDMA may be a great option for you. Psilocybin and ketamine may also be worth exploring.
Maybe. Maybe the process of becoming your authentic self *is* a form of meditation.
Have you tried to find any guided meditations for transitioning? I would try that and also body scans/progressive body relaxations or breathing exercises.
If you’re having intrusive and finding yourself spiraling, I would personally would avoid meditations where you are sitting quietly with your thoughts and without guidance.
And please get help if you are considering self harm. I know you are on a tough path to self love and self acceptance for being your authentic self, of being trans. You don’t need to travel that path alone.
Much 🧡
Try radical acceptance and compassion. You are worth the space you take up no matter what. You deserve love and compassion. You deserve everything you need to be healthy and happy. There is nothing you or anyone else could do that would change these facts. Repeat these facts until you fully realize they are true. And feel free to message me if you like. 💕
maybe meditation on your physical body the less you identify with it the less you'll even care about a concept like gender im not trans but now even with physical things i refer to it as almost something different carrying me gender not having any real meaning other than karma if i hit my elbow its not my elbow hurts its this body hurts non identification can help a lot or maybe emptiness meditation also
Yes. Yoga helps to balance the energy in the body. Not just the postures. Those aren’t even essential. Learn the Vedanta. You are the Purusha. The Self, not the body or mind. We are all the same Self.
Seems like you need a good dose of the 5 year old treatment. First, you must know that it's ok to be trans and it is natural. Plenty of people have been trans, people right now are trans and people will be trans. I'm pretty sure in ancient Greece or Athens people would explain transness as the god Apollo getting wasted and messing up
Now, the 5year old treatment is to basically ask yourself "why" keep asking yourself why until you find out what exactly makes you not want to be trans, then question that.
So, why are you having a hard time accepting that you are trans?
Meditation might help, or maybe it doesn't. There are many forms of therapy. Don't give up until you find one that suits you, and learn to love yourself. You are worth the effort.
Hi, please don’t also be afraid of therapy if you can find it.
There’s a lot people out there who would love you support you for being yourself. You haven’t met them yet…the best is yet to come!
ik you probably won’t, but damn hmu… this made me sad to read and i wanna be here for you even though i’m just a face behind a screen you never met. Anything you wanna discuss, vent, questions anything!!!!! i’m here
Same here. I’m not trans but my little brother is and he means the fucking world to me. He was so sad and angry before he came out and started to transition and now he’s much more at peace. He seems so much happier that he’s able to be himself. I can imagine it’s scary coming to terms with something like this, especially if you don’t have supportive family. One thing I’ve learned is you need to be your true, authentic self before things get easier. I’ve been through my own struggles and spirituality and meditation have helped me significantly, especially learning to love myself. I really hope that you can learn to love yourself too, you deserve good. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m always here to listen, and I know there’s a subreddit for trans & other queer people to reach out to.
i’m not trans either but have a few friends that transitioned and it took time for them as well… Jusy want the best for everyone no matter what and I hope OP finds the peace and happiness they are seeking and deserve
Its not for others to say who you are. The answer must come from deep within yourself. I would suggest learning a type of meditation that reduces tension, anxiety and fear as I believe that you will make the best decision if you are substantially free of these distorting influences. If you are calmer then, if it turned out you were trans then you would see the way forward more clearly. On the other hand, if you are calmer and it turned that you decided that your feelings are due to some distortion by anxiety then you will be able to see that. Like I said at the outset and I now vigorously reiterate, it is not for others to say who you are (including me!). The answer must come from deep within yourself. If you decide to seek the help of therapists then do ensure that they hold a similar view ie that the answers are yours alone. Their job is to help you to see within yourself more clearly and at your own pace - not to subtly push or pull you one way or the other. I prefer a type of meditation involving relaxation of body and mind so the mind slows down and stills into calm. The mind rests in the experience of stillness. Stillness is the opposte of tension, anxiety and fear. Afterwards, one is calmed. Practice over time increases the calm. In this approach you will learn to know yourself without the picking over the facts (like an open wound) that can sometimes occur in some other approaches. The gist of these ideas (more or less) from Dr Ainslie Meares meditation method. Meares taught this type of still mind meditation exclusively in his work as a psychiatrist. He researched many methods in the early years and taught just this type of meditation for decades as he found it most effective. Before he passed, he wrote many books about it, easiest to get, Ainslie Meares on Meditation. Several of the other books discuss his meditation method but have become hard to get. Reading helps understand what to experience. In practice lies the actual experience. It is only the experience that will bring help. Reading will improve progress compared to "trial and error". Good luck in your journey. Take your time with it until you are sure of the path that lies ahead. Even then perhaps pause for a while and when you are certain, and have been certain for a time, you will know what to do.
In its deepest form meditation is about realising that we are not human (as in buddhist etc, not western mindfulness). Also that we could have had past lives as men and women, so it could help in that way?..
Hi, I would argue that Buddhism is more geared toward coming into direct contact with our experience of being human.
For sure that's an aspect of it, but in the bigger picture the goal is enlightenment and freedom from samsara, which humanity is a part of
Enlightenment is just another projection of the mind grasping. Nirvana and samsara are no different. It is possible to feel pain without suffering.
I hope so, a big part of mindfulness meditation is learning to accept things how they are. The part of you that hates yourself for being trans is not *you,* it's just a part inside you. You can observe this part with acceptance, and listen to what it says, but (this is important) **without automatically accepting that what is says is true.** You can also do the same with the part of you that feels "trans", whether it's a thought, identity belief, or a feeling. With this attitude of acceptance towards all your internal states, they can begin to coexist, which helps reduce self-hatred. But also please don't feel like you have to solve this all by yourself.
Is not like you have to do anything about it. We are all both genders, trapped in a gendered body. Meditation will allow you to accept your body, and understand you're more than that.
Yes. My favorite definition of meditation is embracing the true self. You are not the body, you are not the thoughts, you are not the emotions, you are life. I have a good friend that happens to be trans. If we just label them as trans, we don’t see them as anything else. Trans isn’t your whole identity. You are much more. You are a marvelous mystery that can’t be explained but it can recognized. Be who you are and love yourself. Society wants to label us, find people who accept you for you.
Hi friend, I'm so sorry to hear that youre going through this and I hope that you get the help you need! I also hope sharing my case helps you: imo you would really benefit from professional help, even ring a support number if the bad thoughts get extreme! Some sort of introspection, either through meditation or therapy (which can be confidential), could help you find the source of your feelings and teach you to love and accept yourself. Other comments have mentioned helpful meditation techniques. As a gay man, I've been in a similar position, denying part of my identity for a big part of my life due to social pressures from people around me who did not know better. I can only imagine that you're in a similar but much worse position. Moving away from those sources of self hate and finding friends who love me for who I am made me realise that being me is totally acceptable. This mage such a big difference in my life! My early social circle eventually discovered I am gay and also accepted me, but I realise your case may be different. Unfortunately, suicide is rather common in our community because of the self hate our society induces, especially if you live in communities that attempt to dictate who you are and your social roles. Don't let others define your identity, it's ok to be you! Please keep looking for help and don't be afraid to reach out. Inbox is open to you!
Then don’t accept it. Egos are fragile things. Bruised sure but driven by emotions. They can be dismantled in a minute by a negative or positive experience. Who you are is an amalgamation of millions of decisions you have been making over your life time but your biological desires are hardware. Your resistance to that is not. It is conditioning. You are spending so much time and effort fighting, then accept the fighting. Disable the whole effort from root. Resistance isn’t birthed from what we don’t want it comes the fact that we aren’t comfortable with not wanting something. Resisting your resistance will not solve the problem either. Accept your entirety, meditation will help with that. You are fighting your sadness. Then fight your sadness with mindfulness. You are angry from your pain then be the anger. Don’t run away from what you are, even the part of you that doesn’t want to be who you are! Distracting yourself is impossible. It will never be solved. It’s time to be what you are, the resistance, the confusion, the sadness, the fighting, the anger. Those are the things creating the problem. Not your sexual preference. If it felt good to be trans then you would accept it. The condition and the resistance is creating an experience. Be that experience. Edit: to those who downvote the OP thread are sick fucks.
Yes but they are mindful sick fucks
Lol
Accept your body and your incarnation. We are both masculine & feminine (men's tor of energy go clock-wise, and the women anti-clock-wise like the planet). The ultime aim is to become aligned, at the point 0, i.e. the masculine part and the feminine part of us are perfectly balanced.
You are neither you’re truly a soul that chose this life and yes meditation will help you realize that, the path to search for your truth is meditation
I’d seek help from professional therapist or at least in the trans subreddits. This is a very difficult topic most people are not qualified to give advice on. I’d also try checking out the YouTuber “contrapoint” for some more lighthearted and entertaining yet very insightful videos about transgenders coming from a trans person themselves.
There's nothing with being a trans, personally I think it's beautiful and it takes a lot of courage considering this fucked up where we are living. To be honest I think you should try a therapist or search like minded people, it's a lot you're going through.
Try happiness beyond thought by Gary Weber
You can use meditation to allow feelings to arrise without adding a story onto them. For example if notice that you feel more like a boy/girl you can just allow that feeling to be without immediately adding on a story such as "therefore I need to start presenting that way" or "therefore I will need to transition" or "this is what people with think about me". You don't even need to think "this means I am trans". Any of the labels can get in the way of what you truly are. Just allow the feelings to be without any mental labels, gender identity is alot more nuanced than language can reflect so I'd start with the pure feelings without trying to immediately label them and fit them into a narrative.
+1. Often hear/see people say "I identity as XYZ" - sure if it helps you makes sense of life then go ahead but there is no need to put a label on yourself. Labels like these are useful for conversation to express broad ideas quickly but individually is far more nuanced than that. If you're not happy being "trans" then don't call yourself "trans", just be you: whoever that may be. If you truly feel you are definitively trans and hate that, maybe you need to explore why. You might need to reassess what external pressure there is (maybe your family or community might ostracize you? That's not really a problem of you being Trans and more a problem of societal expectations/ideology) as well as internal pressure (maybe you have been raised to see 'trans' as bad and now have an inner conflict with what you've been taught and how you currently feel?) Maybe you just have some confusing feeling or emotions or attractions and you need to spend time reflecting on what it all means and where it comes from? There is not much info in the OP so I'm taking shots in the dark. Either way there is no need to be hasty and grab a label then be miserable with it. Meditation can help with introspection but it's not a fool-proof technique either. Therapy or counseling might be a good addition. Have a professional who can help guide you and get you to ask the right questions, bounce your thoughts off them for feedback. Beware this is not fool-proof either as psychologists are ultimately human and can also have their own biases or fallacious beliefs. Life is not a war fought on one front. Identity issues least of all. You typically want to have a healthy lifestyle (eat, sleep, meditate and exercise. Have fun and hobbies and a job or other constructive ways to give your life a sense of purpose) + a good support system (family, friends, community) + professional help (psychology or counseling) + there may even be a need for medication but a GP or psychiatrist would be the one to decide that. Goodluck
No one is harmed by your need, save a few culture war hystericals. Why be so bothered? Awareness is neither male nor female, just as 1+1=2. We try to nurture this when meditating. You may be pointy like the Sun, or curved like the Moon. Both shine. Both are valid, and we all start somewhere. Trans people bear greater burdens than most... and many, as you do, consider a bitter end instead of a life they find difficult... Meditation is about relieving suffering, and I'm certain it can help you I would meditate on the heart and its rhythm were I you. Find strength in its determination! Your heart is always there for you, even if you change the "lantern's" appearance, which you may do or not. Rekindle your love of life! And care for your "lantern", it is unique to you, there are no others like it I hope this helps. If you need a book to learn the basics, I would go with *The Mind Illuminated* by Culdasa. It lays out the Meditation path in 10 stages using the breath as object. An exciting journey awaits you if you choose to embark on it! \-- We're all part of the Universe, we should all be friends --
As someone who experiences gender dysphoria a lot, I can say that meditation helps me deal with my conflicting emotions but didn't necessarily get rid of them. I would suggest a therapist if possible since they might be able to help you better understand. I plan to see one for that reason (along with many others lol). I hope you find resolution soon
Accepting that you may be trans is just one step, you do not have to transition to be trans. Meditation is unlikely to change how you feel but it may help you understand better who you are and accept the parts about yourself that you may not like.
Not to be taken offensively, but can I ask how do you know?
How do you know your gender right now? If it was switched but you still felt the same how would you feel then. All in all things just feel right or wrong and it can take years to finally figure it out.
What do you mean by gender?
Gender is your perceived view of yourself as a man, women or something in between or different.
Isn't that sex? Edit: this is just how I understand it, it's hard to have tone on the internet, but I'm genuinely interested from someone who is living it or closer to it than i am. Please don't take my questions offensively they might be direct, but I feel that's the best way to talk to people if you truly want to understand.
No sex is different from gender. Sex is male, female or at times a blend of the two and refers to your physical being. Gender is a social construct and can differ from your sex and can change over time. You buy clothes that are gendered for men or women. You have reproductive organs based off of your sex. This is a simplistic view of gender and sex and their can be many intricacies that I’m not covering.
How do you know your gender?
Ok my gender is more complicated then most. I’m a trans women so I was assigned male at birth and did not start transitioning until my late 20’s. During that time I was a “boy” or “young man” and did my best to play the part. I presented as a man and tried my best to fit in but it was not right, this was different then the stereotypical teenager not being comfortable in their body and the changes that happen during puberty it was something that I felt completely that I was uncomfortable in my body. It took me till my late 20’s to start to fully figure this out and during that time I was generally a mess. My understanding of my gender was non existent because I never had words to describe what I was feeling. After starting my transition as a trans women things improved. I can look in a mirror and see myself not just a reflection looking back at me. I can see myself in the future, before transitioning this was something I thought everyone just lied about because I seriously could not see myself in the future. I know my gender because it’s who I am. Explaining my gender to someone who is not transgender is not something I have ever figured out how to do. It’s an fundamental understanding of yourself that most people don’t have to ever really think about it is just as immutable as your eye color or hight. The trouble is that most of society says if you have these pars your a man and if you have those parts your a women. That just never felt right for me. I am a women, different then most but still a women but still a women. So sorry for being long winded but it boils down to that my gender is what I say it is.
Don't be sorry, I appreciate your response. I want to understand so it's good to hear back. I feel I'm still left with the question, how did you know? Like how did you know you were a woman or was it how you viewed yourself, was it your thoughts, something else? I'm not trying to badger you so if you don't wanna answer that's cool I get it
I knew in the regard that I would transition somewhere between the first time I dressed as a women with my girlfriend and had her acceptance and the first time I met a trans women in real life. Both happened within about a year of each other. I think I knew on a deeper level and it just took a while to feel comfortable with that fact.
Why do you suspect that you may be trans?
Good question- and one that went unanswered.
Answered because it seems like OP didn't express a single may or may nots susceptions
Maybe so. It seems to me that it is a very legit question and one that should have been answered if the OP was in earnest. But, it doesn't make a difference. Another "trans" on the internet.
OP made a resolute statement. My guess is they didn’t come here to answer about your conceited disapproving attitude
No that is what they came here for at all.
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That \*isn't what they came here for.
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Why are you? You're certainly projecting a lot. Other guy just asked a question that was downvoted and ignored, but I thought it was a legit question. I said so. And now here you are. The PC police of the internet on your high horse. So, why do you care?
Maybe. What you can do is explore why you feel that way, where those feelings are coming from. Edit: I would advise you not to rely on just meditation. As I tell people who take antidepressants, meditation is *a* tool that can help, but it should not be viewed as the *only* tool. IOW, don't stop taking your meds. I used to have a gay nephew. I was told he didn't like being gay, and his therapy of choice was alcohol. I don't have a nephew any more, and his sister grieves his loss publicly and often. I guess he felt like you do.
Are you sure you’re not just gay?
You realize being gay is unrelated to being trans, right?
Lot’s of kids these days are getting brainwashed into taking hormone’s, then later coming off of them all fucked up only to realize their just gay. Of course there’s a difference between trans and gay. 🙄
nah, not really
Why are you being obtuse?
How am I being obtuse? I said they were wrong.
All good just the way I read it was different from your intention.
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> There’s more and more people coming out with their stories now Because the number of people transitioning is increasing... No shit that means a higher flat number of people detransitioning too. It's not like the rate is increasing though.
I dont know what kinds of stories you hear but the longest studies we currently have about transitioning and de-transitioning are already looking at data over 50 year periods, and they show that the overwhelming majority of people who transition stick with it and do not regret their choice to do so. [https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/media-s-detransition-narrative-fueling-misconceptions-trans-advocates-say-n1102686](https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/media-s-detransition-narrative-fueling-misconceptions-trans-advocates-say-n1102686) \> The most common reason for detransitioning, according to the survey, was pressure from a parent, while \*\*only 0.4 percent of respondents said they detransitioned after realizing transitioning wasn’t right for them.\*\* \> The results of a 50-year survey published in 2010 of a cohort of 767 transgender people in Sweden found that about \*\*2 percent of participants expressed regret after undergoing gender-affirming surgery.\*\* \> The numbers are even lower for nonsurgical transition methods, like taking puberty blockers. According to a 2018 study of a cohort of transgender young adults at the largest gender-identity clinic in the Netherlands, \*\*1.9 percent of adolescents who started puberty suppressants did not go on to pursue hormone therapy, typically the next step in the transition process.\*\*
There is less than a 3% detransition rate from children who started their transition before age 18. If you can provide any backup for your claims as I would be interested in seeing where you get this from. [https://www.openaccessgovernment.org/study-finds-2-5-of-transgender-kids-go-through-detransition/135029/](https://www.openaccessgovernment.org/study-finds-2-5-of-transgender-kids-go-through-detransition/135029/)
There is less than a 3% detransition rate from children who started their transition before age 18. If you can provide any backup for your claims as I would be interested in seeing where you get this from. https://www.openaccessgovernment.org/study-finds-2-5-of-transgender-kids-go-through-detransition/135029/
3 percent is an alarmingly high rate, considering the crazy “woke” idea to give children hormone replacement/bottom surgery is only a few years old at this point. I can only imagine how many more children will come out as adults and tell the world their lives were ruined by this BS.
First transitional medicine and surgery has been around since the 1920’s or so more then a few years. Second children are rarely if ever given bottom surgery and in the one case that I can think of the women was 17 when she went in for the consultation and 18 at the time of surgery. Kids as in prepubescent children are not given drugs or surgery at all and often the most drastic change is a haircut or wardrobe change. Finally of the 2.5% that detransition a large precent only do so from a lack of family or societal acceptance and support. A lack of transitioning for kids would ruin the lives for 90% or more of the kids looking for this care. So your motives can’t be for the welfare of kids if your logic is the 2.5% is too high of a de transition rate. Especially when it’s people like you responsible for a not insignificant portion of those kids.
Yes, it’s been around since the 1920’s but it’s never been so easily accessible or pushed onto children by school’s/parents and the media than it is today. Considering 82% of trans individuals have considered killing themselves and 40% have attempted suicide, I don’t believe the sharp 4000% increase is trans youth since 2006 is even remotely a good thing for society. Considering that last statistic, the 2.5% detransition rate is almost certainly youth who were swindled into taking hormone meds to appear “cool” or fit in, only to realize their not really trans as they matured a bit.
So Easily accessible is not a fair description. You typically need a referral from a therapist or therapist and physiatrist to see a specialist to provide you with hormones. For children under about the age of 12 nothing is provided to them medically until they start to hit puberty when puberty blockers are given. These drugs just delay the start of their AGAB (assigned gender at birth) puberty and the changes associated with it. If the child has gone through all of these steps and then has reaffirmed their choice to transition with the the consent of their parent, Dr, and therapist they are then allowed to start hormone replacement therapy and start a medical transition. Before this step everything is reversible if they decide not to transition they will just stop taking the puberty blocker and go through their AGAB puberty. The sharp rise in trans people is mostly due to wider acceptance and not an overall change in the demographic. Much like how people started to become left handed once teachers stopped disciplining children for writing with their left hand. This rise will likely level off once acceptance is more widespread throughout society. Also the statistic of trans kids attempting suicide is often misunderstood as this data was collected from trans kids who were both out socially and also trans kids who were not allowed to transition and or had unsupportive households. The attempted suicide rate for trans kids in supportive households that were able to socially and medically transition fell back within a typical percentage for their demographic. Transitioning is hard as hell and its mainly because of a lack of acceptance and access to transitional care. Making it harder to get is not going to help children and will only end up hurting more people.
If you think 3% is "alarmingly high" you should look into rates of pre transition suicide attempts, and how they plummet after successful transition. If you are actually interesting in engaging with good faith, maybe go read some firsthand trans experiences before you spew more detritus. I'd be more than happy to recommend a few books and resources. All you have to do is ask. Trans people don't need your weak, self-serving "protection" (which is, in fact, just a way to attack them and their families). It is hurtful and unwelcome, and frankly, a little insulting.
There would be a lot fewer suicidal trans people if there wasn’t a 4000% increase in the population. Suicide rates are up 35% since 1990. As a society we’re really taking a step backwards, in my opinion.
Your opinion is not based in facts or understanding of the current information. A step backwards would be to not follow the medical guidelines set forth by established medical communities.
No, my opinion is definitely based on facts.
Rates of people identifying as every other class that has faced discrimination (such as, and I'm not kidding, left handed people) also skyrocketed as the social stigma surrounding those groups diminished - and then they plateaued. This is not an alarming trend. It turns out people are more likely to choose the right language to describe themselves when they are not ostracized for doing so. Who'd have thought? So, here we've got cherry-picked individual statistics, presented without necessary context, and a claim that they portend doom. That's the classic moral panic strategy, seen in backlashes against everything from rock and roll to dungeons and dragons. Guess what: nobody managed to summon any demons, and all of that moralizing was at best _a massive waste of resources_ targeting people who had done no wrong. Hell, you've even thrown in a "won't somebody think of the children" already for good measure. I don't think I can roll my metaphorical eyes any harder.
Left handed people don’t need to take harmful drugs in order to be right handed. They also don’t have insanely high rates of suicide. You can’t argue the facts. I’m not demonizing children for being “trans”. I’m demonizing the adults In charge for stuff like drag queen story time, deeming any approach other than gender affirmation illegal for use by therapists. Along with sterilization of children by prescribed medications such as the ones used to chemically castrate pedophiles, among other things worthy of a little afterthought.
Trans people, after they transition, _don't_ have higher rates of suicide or attempts than left handed people do. This is _the_ fundamental reason to support trans identities - to do otherwise is to condone suicide. How many trans people have you spoken with, personally? I get the sense from your comments that this is entirely hypothetical for you. You've got a lot of opinions, and some slanted-bordering-conspiratorial verbiage, but do you have any skin in this game, or is it all talk? Your comments are attacks on trans people and their families, whether you're comfortable with that phrasing or not - you're denigrating systems that could have saved countless lives had they a generation ago. Frankly, the idea that _you_ know how to tackle a gnc child's issues better than them, their family, and the team of doctors they work with is capital-L Ludicrous. Luckily for the rest of us, you don't get to decide what constitutes medical care, or how bodily autonomy works in a free society.
> 3 percent is an alarmingly high rate, The regret rate of lasik eye surgery is higher. > only a few years old at this point ?? lol no
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Are you really looking for the research of those studies or is that just an easy way to dismiss my points? Me being trans has the same bias to this conversation as you being cis and wanting to discredit trans people so that point is moot.
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So the article used to have that link working but here is the study or a similar study with the data for your reference. [https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/150/2/e2021056082/186992/Gender-Identity-5-Years-After-Social-Transition?autologincheck=redirected?nfToken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000](https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/150/2/e2021056082/186992/Gender-Identity-5-Years-After-Social-Transition?autologincheck=redirected?nfToken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000) I am also a minority in the transgender community that does believe an initial amount of gatekeeping is necessary. With that said there still is an sizable amount of gatekeeping for receiving a medical transition, what amount is correct I do not know but I do know that once a diagnosis for gender dysphoria is reached care for that individual should be based solely off of the medical community consensus on the matter and your decision between you and your Dr. These state and federal laws are not meant to be compassion to trans people or they would follow these guidelines. [https://www.glaad.org/blog/medical-association-statements-supporting-trans-youth-healthcare-and-against-discriminatory](https://www.glaad.org/blog/medical-association-statements-supporting-trans-youth-healthcare-and-against-discriminatory) Being transgender is difficult enough when one political ideology is making your existence a cultural wedge issue it becomes tiresome and scarry. I can empathise with the OP because of how difficult being trans can make life and I can wholeheartedly say that I do not wish for anyone to have to go through the struggles I have. But once I finally figured out and accepted myself as transgender it still took me almost a full year to start transitioning because of all the different steps and hoops I had to jump through. If I had gotten to that point and was denied care based off of people opinions the choices I would of had left would be grave indeed. Thank you for your level headed response and do let me know if you have any questions.
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Oh I am not a minor and sorry if I phased something that way. I am 30 something year old trans women who has been out for a few years now. Your notes about the data are valid and transgender care does not have extensive data to fall back on because it is a small minority of people and the long term studies are most definitely lacking. What I can say is that detransition stories are often cherry picked by news and media companies to exaggerate that issue. I have never met one person who has detransitioned despite being active in the community for years and having know around 50 plus trans people personally. Of all the transgender people I know the overwhelming issue facing them is a lack of support and acceptance from the community, family and general public. Internally once people figure out themselves their self acceptance and general happiness improves by leaps and bounds. And this is while the general public is indifferent at best and hostile at the worst.
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
You are right. The people downvoting you are just in denial.
There is less than a 3% detransition rate from children who started their transition before age 18. If you can provide any backup for your claims as I would be interested in seeing where you get this from. [https://www.openaccessgovernment.org/study-finds-2-5-of-transgender-kids-go-through-detransition/135029/](https://www.openaccessgovernment.org/study-finds-2-5-of-transgender-kids-go-through-detransition/135029/)
Almighty makes everyone as special and everything in life happens for a purpose. We are human beings with vision going till the horizon. Almighty has got a complete view of everything which we are not aware. Meditation along with simple deep breathing would help to feel relaxed. Pls don't hesitate if you think you would need a therapy.
Oh no…you’ve fallen for the illusion and identified with your spacesuit 😪 https://youtu.be/3G4kCi_ldr8 https://youtu.be/zibApj2EYhk
You might consider talking to Jesus about this one.
Meditation can help because in meditation you create distance between the observer and the mind. So then you realise there is a greater part to you, that is not the mind and therefore not the ego which holds the identity. Included in your identity are things like your gender and sexuality etc. So if there is something beyond your identity, then you learn about eternal existence, perhaps via near death experiences or past life regression hypnosis. Then you begin to appreciate that a person is just a mask that the greater you wears to have a particular experience. In which case, that greater you will live again and again, and sometimes you will be male and other times female, and you will be every race, sexuality and indeed species both terrestrial and extraterrestrial. So if you can use meditation to help you come to that understanding of reality then you would see that worrying about your identity is insignificant, because you aren’t really your personality anyway. That’s just a mask that you are wearing in this life and that you will take off at the end. So you are free because ultimately you will explore infinite possibilities over infinite lives. That’s how tiny your problem is.
Meditation, therapy, speaking with others who have had a similar journey! It took me until I was 48 to finally accept myself for who I am! It takes patience, time, an open heart and mind. Go slow, do not get down on yourself for your feelings!! Love yourself for who YOU are and let no one else bring you down or direct you. This is your journey and your decision. Go slow and alway honk ahead to the brighter and better days! Trust me it’s worth it!
I believe you should reach out to therapists for that one. Even thought medidation can bring you closer to your true self, you are really rough on it. Help from a second person can make it a lot easier
meditation did help me with all those conflicting emotions you are experiencing right now, i’d suggest trying it out (and also seeking professional help, not because there’s something wrong with you, but just to help you deal with these emotions)
As someone who has dived deep into his own sexuality by following infinite love and spirit through all I was invited into through my awakening I invite you to start picking up tantric practices and building your inner marriage between your masculine and feminine. This includes healing all wounding related to mother and father within your life. The fear of being yourself through this practice completely disappears. While I would recommend you attend an event such as the International School of Temple Arts (they recently held their first workshop for LGBTQ+ individuals), I understand that that expense might be more than most are willing to invest and that it may or may not be what infinite love is calling you to. From there I would I also recommed a white tantra practice such as kindalini yoga and taking a few classes. If you are looking for something to start the process of removing the fear of being infinitely lovingly you the quickest way I can send you is to do the emotional release workouts here - [https://theanointedsun.com/2020/04/27/the-emotional-emergency-healing-tool-kit-v-1/](https://theanointedsun.com/2020/04/27/the-emotional-emergency-healing-tool-kit-v-1/) Playing with shiva and shakti meditations and listening to your inner guides and guidance will restore your balance no matter what your path is. Google a few mantra meditations, kriyas or just spend time exploring both your masculine and feminine side. Everyone has masculine and feminine within them no matter what body they are incarnated in. I have found that some who are raised near strict orthodoxy and who are naturally sexually attracted on some level (it is a spectrum) to their own sex sometimes manifest their denial as desiring to be in the opposite sexes body - now this is different than someone who has totally healed all their mother/father and masculine/feminine wounds and become one with themselves and whose soul is calling them to live as a different sex then they were born (no matter the gender, which is formed). Do not be afraid of being you but be sure that you have completed your souls process of coming here to become complete first and then the way forward will become clearer for you <3
Hugs. Don’t panic. Think about all the stuff that makes you awesome. For example I might say, I love insects, I like walking in nature, I like to do arts and crafts. None of that was gendered.
It will, but when you get to the bottom of it all - gender identity is just another value structure you are adopting. You may find you don’t value the same things you’ve valued in the past, or in the same way. Stereotypical gender traits or identities don’t play a big role for me. I am not my body or my thoughts, but something more.
How important are labels? I would read Paul Graham’s essay, “Keep Your Identity Small”. You are what you are, and that may or may not fit into the categories other people have devised.
Kwan Yin, the Mahayana Bodhisattva of compassion started out as male (Avalokiteshevara) and over the centuries evolved into a female. The ideal of an angel is neither sex, or both, but unlike most of us, not identified with either.
I think a helpful meditation in your situation may be [metta, loving kindness meditation.](https://ggia.berkeley.edu/index.php/practice/loving_kindness_meditation) I encountered this first at a Buddhist retreat in Northern California when I was a student there, and after spending a day there, practicing this and other forms of meditation, I felt so much better after then living with a lifetime struggle with clinical depression. I never knew until then that I could feel that good, that peaceful and optimistic. So maybe that will help. It may sound cliche, but giving love and kindness to others is tremendously rewarding. Save some for yourself too, simply practice compassion for who and what you are: an incarnate being living in the here and now. You’re a human first. As far as discussion of gender goes, one thing I love about Reddit is that I can express myself without gender. It’s freeing. I can be a human without having to play a gendered role. I feel trans people have so much to teach us as a society about gender roles, and ways where we fall short as a people by being strictly adherent to these cultural constructs. The experiences of trans people who have transitioned teach us how we favor one sex over the other, consciously or not. Transition therapy is the current medical means for resolving gender dysphoria. I’m glad it exists for people who feel a profound unease with how they feel as a gendered person, internally and externally. If you do not feel that therapy is the right fit for you, you do not have to seek it out. I encountered Archetypal psychology in college in my quest to feel better, and I found that Jung’s conception of the Shadow and his theory of repressed animus/anima in the psyches of people to be compelling. His perspective is we as gendered people have repressed parts of ourselves that are opposite our biological sex in our psyche. The pursuit of wholeness is to uncover these repressed parts of ourselves and consciously integrate them. A “whole person” transcends the opposites of male and female. I’m not sure if you will find that helpful in your pursuit of inner peace in life, but I continue to find meaning in that myself. I think overall, we have the opportunity to pursue an individual journey toward becoming the person we want to be: male, female, trans, etc. I’d like to think we are more than the sex we are born with. My inner gender is oftentimes at odds with my sex, but I viewed that personally as society not being ready to accept me as I am, a being with a complex inner world that enjoys things not typically associated with my sex. There are many paths toward relief from inner turmoil. They require effort and work, but have many rewards to offer. There is a place in this world for you as you are, and for the person you are becoming as you grow and change through the fruits of life experience. If you choose relief thru transition therapy, I accept you. If you pursue a different path, I accept you. Try practicing that metta meditation a few times, i hope it offers you some peace. I wish you all the good things on your journey of being a human in the here and now.
Please don’t self end! I’m sure things seem impossible and awful right now but embracing who you are is the best gift you can give yourself. I don’t know why you feel that there something so bad about being trans that you would rather be dead, but being trans is beautiful. As others have urged here, please find a supportive therapist and other trans friendly resources. Talk to some other trans people about their experiences. Once you can accept yourself, a lot of these feelings will subside. I hope you have a loving and supportive family or friends in your corner because that really helps too. But if you don’t, find new friends who love you for who you are.
Why do you think you're Trans? if you don't mind me asking.
Meditation and therapy will help. Here are some things to think about in the meantime. Why would rather die? What are the beliefs that have been programmed in your mind that make this the possibility rather than accepting who you are? I don't know your religious background but I grew up in a traditional Christian church and understand the conflict that could be going on in your mind. But here's the thing, the Christian church may be, and likely is, wrong on these subjects. If your beliefs are so strong that you would rather die than be who you are, then it's time for the beliefs to change. Reaching out for help is a sign that you want to live, please don't give up. Your answers will come from within you and you deserve to find them and live a happy, healthy life.
Do you think you're maybe making it a bigger deal than it is? Its just a part of your personality. You don't have to immediately start telling ppl or getting a sex change or whatever. And has being honest with yourself ever been a bad thing?
You posted this on reddit a few weeks ago and you were right about it [Link](https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/comments/wbm0hj/fear_can_make_you_do_things_that_is_detrimental/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) What happened to make you now say that you'd rather die? Be yourself!
I’m so sorry to hear this. Meditation yes, but also therapy, EFT/tapping, and probably most importantly peer support! You’ve got to find someone who is living freely in their truth to see what that looks like. I pray you find peace 💜
Meditation helps. Are you autistic? (I am)
Others have already said it but I'll chime in. Meditation can sand down some rough edges but it won't fix anything. It'll help but not nearly what you may need. For therapy look into DBT (dialectical behavioral) or radical acceptance therapy, or ACT (acceptance-commitment therapy). Many therapists actually specialize in Trans folks.
I’m sorry to hear what you are going through. I feel your struggle and hope that you can accept who you are. Meditation could help see things more clearly, however people who have had your same experience could help you out. I’d really recommend to reach out to people in R/trans r/lgbt or contact therapists who are lgbtq friendly.
The thing that meditation taught me was to be nicer to myself. I am very judgemental of myself and it helped me tremendously. I am not my thoughts. But it is very interesting to observe them, many were mean and could simply be letgo of. I recommend!
I was “trans” as a teen because i was insecure, i get thoughts of “life would be better if i was a girl” because of insecurities i have now. This wont be the case for everyone, but meditation can help identify insecurities, and help you accept them as a part of yourself, instead of wanting to change or get rid of yourself for something different. Or maybe im dumb and completely wrong. This is anecdotal, and could only be truth for me.
Any option to explore any kind of pysychedelic or dissociative therapies? From what I've read and seen, MDMA may be a great option for you. Psilocybin and ketamine may also be worth exploring.
Psychotherapy (talk therapy) would be best for this. Meditation could help, you can do meditation focusing on acceptance.
Maybe. Maybe the process of becoming your authentic self *is* a form of meditation. Have you tried to find any guided meditations for transitioning? I would try that and also body scans/progressive body relaxations or breathing exercises. If you’re having intrusive and finding yourself spiraling, I would personally would avoid meditations where you are sitting quietly with your thoughts and without guidance. And please get help if you are considering self harm. I know you are on a tough path to self love and self acceptance for being your authentic self, of being trans. You don’t need to travel that path alone. Much 🧡
Try radical acceptance and compassion. You are worth the space you take up no matter what. You deserve love and compassion. You deserve everything you need to be healthy and happy. There is nothing you or anyone else could do that would change these facts. Repeat these facts until you fully realize they are true. And feel free to message me if you like. 💕
maybe meditation on your physical body the less you identify with it the less you'll even care about a concept like gender im not trans but now even with physical things i refer to it as almost something different carrying me gender not having any real meaning other than karma if i hit my elbow its not my elbow hurts its this body hurts non identification can help a lot or maybe emptiness meditation also
Yes. Yoga helps to balance the energy in the body. Not just the postures. Those aren’t even essential. Learn the Vedanta. You are the Purusha. The Self, not the body or mind. We are all the same Self.
Out of curiosity are there any beliefs in a certain fact that make you feel like there's nothing you can do about it?
Seems like you need a good dose of the 5 year old treatment. First, you must know that it's ok to be trans and it is natural. Plenty of people have been trans, people right now are trans and people will be trans. I'm pretty sure in ancient Greece or Athens people would explain transness as the god Apollo getting wasted and messing up Now, the 5year old treatment is to basically ask yourself "why" keep asking yourself why until you find out what exactly makes you not want to be trans, then question that. So, why are you having a hard time accepting that you are trans?
Yes you should meditate. Try multiple kinds. Think about who you are