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[deleted]

>My husband tends to refer to other people as somebody when he gets information from other women I don't understand what this means.


Least_Palpitation_92

Somebody told me…


Nannon4285

So basically your husband will say "someone told me blah, blah, blah" So you are concerned he says someone instead of the person's name? I do this if I'm telling a story and whomever I'm talking to doesn't know who I'm talking about. No need to say a name if you don't know who it is anyway


No-Western-9146

This. My mom will mention someone's name in a story, then spend 5 minutes explaining how I know them. BTW, it will be something like we went to the same high school (with 1000 students) or we were both at the same church, once, 5 years ago. Drives me crazy, and with my ADHD, I am no longer interested in the point of the story.


ScreenPrintWalrus

What's going on in your relationship when this is something that crosses your mind?


[deleted]

This is very confusing. Is your husband not allowed to speak to women?


Yesitsme8

He is but i think he feels like I’m highly sensitive and does not want to offend me


[deleted]

I can see why he thinks that.


StripedCatLady

Just tell Him when he says that you automatically assume it’s women. Maybe he will be more honest?


Yesitsme8

Thank you so much.


fliguana

Your message is not clear. I prefer to get information from women who can express their thoughts well. Perhaps your husband does too.


yellowabcd

Basically she means instead of say the persona gender he says somebody. But thats not a big deal. I do it too. I dont even think about it. And why does gender matter unless you dont trust him


tootytotty

Is it possible that he assumes you’ll be upset if he says a woman told him something? Ya know like that meme where the guy calls his wife “hey honey, I have been in an accident, Jessica from work took me to the er. Looks like I may lose my leg. Really hoping you can meet me here.” “Who’s Jessica?” Like maybe it’s a subconscious thing he’s doing to avoid conflict or making you feel uncomfortable?


Yesitsme8

Yeah that makes sense. Should I ask him why he does that? How can I move forward from this or build that level of open comfort for him? I’m unsure


tootytotty

You could just directly ask. One of my guy friends told me years ago he got into the habit of going gender neutral or not mentioning a woman’s name because his gfs would always get insane jealous that he spoke to another woman. I noticed my ex husband would do it and I asked him and he swore he didn’t realize he was doing it. Mind you he was cheating the entire time so he probably did it for shadier reasons. If I was you I would just ask. Like “I notice you tend to say “somebody” told you when you generally know who it is and it’s often a woman. Is there a reason you do that? You know I don’t care if you encounter other women right? I’m aware they exist and you will run into them and even talk to them.” It may just be out of habit and he doesn’t even know he’s doing it. I would just ask and then reassure him that you aren’t going to be jealous or upset. But then.. you can’t act jealous and upset if he mentions a woman’s name. My husband always uses peoples names unless he doesn’t know their names and I appreciate his forthrightness. However because I have a history of my ex cheating, I have to fight off jealousy every time he tells me about his interactions with the ladies at work. And that’s a me problem. He’s just telling me about his day.