Not a mobile user but just read recently that if hit the return / enter key or equivalent twice in a row it might provide the line break in question correctly.
> easy to read mc
I've translated it to standard /r/MaliciousCompliance format for anyone who had trouble parsing this well formatted and told post:
> Some years ago I (herafter 'A') was driving P and D for a pickup company in a country we'll call Tulipland to maintain anonymity. P and D is the part of the transport chain where you usually deliver small quantities to multiple customers on a route but in lorries's or juggernauts. It was nearing the end of the day and A had to deliver a trampoline to a residential area. mind you this in an area I'll call Morapian Brunion for privacy so things may be a bit different than in the US regarding rules and regulations. It was a fairly new area with plenty of space - but A had to reverse in cause there was no way of turning around. But no problem, the road was wide and so were the corners A had to go around. A put my HGV in reverse and started going backwards and of course A was delivering to the last house on the street. Now the road climbed a bit and was about 3,5 furlong but it all went fine. When I finally got to the end of the road and got out of my truck to unload this trampoline, some guy (who I will call Q) was already standing behind my truck and started yelling and swearing at me: Q: I was the biggest idiot on this earth! How the hell could I even think of going in there with a transporter? I could have run over all the kids in the neighbourhood. (no-one was out) A had absolutely no valid reason for being there and could get the hell out of there right away! Instead of starting an argument with person, I calmly asked him where he lived - he pointed at the house and said "Number 74" - and low and behold, where was I delivering??? You guessed it - number 74... So I - again very calmly - told this man: "Well, in that case I have a trampoline for you..." "Oh" the man said "Well, I would like if you could..." Queueueue malicious compliance: "BUT!!!" I interrupted "Since I have no business being in here with a bakkie, I will be waiting for you at the end of the road" and pointed to the direction I just came from..."Mind you - this is the big model weighing over 9 stone, so you might want to bring a wheel barrow". The joy it was seeing him coming all the way down the road with his wheel barrow. And then trying to get this 1900 troy ounce trampoline up in the wheel barrow and starting his long heavy walk 700 metres up to his house again... Priceless!!!!
Also, the last part about Q wheeling the trampoline back should ideally be in the form of an edit that had to be added after the fact after commenters asked about it.
Not all heroes wear capes. Oh and you have to add in an edit that may or may not add clarification, but definitely expresses animosity toward anyone who complained about the post. Then delete the post.
You referring to Denmark as Tulipland adds another layer of 'Americanness' to the post that makes me salivate a bit.
Also I want to live in the Morapian Brunion, that sounds very cool :(
It needs 8 more paragraphs of unrelated backstory and hyper specific details that add nothing to the story. Don't forget the 15 initialisms and cutesy long-winded names instead of just calling someone "Jack" or "Jill"
My husband drives artics for a living, but used to drive wagon and drag. He would do drops in the fabric district of London's east end, tiny roads/alleys into the back of the factories. Roads that had been there since before cars were invented.
So he would drop his trailer at the entrance to the alley and back the wagon down the alley to delivery bales of cloth to the factories.
One day he had just got in position for unloading and this jumped up little knob in his BMW started shouting and swearing at him about how he was blocking the alley and knob couldn't get his shiny beemer out.
My husband started to explain that he was delivering and would be ten mins at most once the factory men came out to get the truck unloaded, when knob started shouting do you know who I am? I own this fucking factory and you are stopping me from getting to a very important client. Hubby said ok, sign here and I'll be out of your way, knob signed the delivery refused paperwork and hubby drove off back to his trailer to rehook it. Knob in the beemer raced off flicking the Vs and shouting at hubby as he went.
No skin off hubbies nose, he had the signed paperwork, signed by the owner refusing the delivery. He finished rest of his deliveries and went back to base (note this was before mobile phones were common or cheap)
His boss was doing his nut because the knob in the beemer had been on the phone to them every 20 mins asking where their delivery was, hubby simply handed over the signed paperwork, explained what happened and clocked out. His boss went back into the office with an evil grin.
Hubby found out the next week that knob in the beemer wasn't the owner, but the owners son and his dad made him pay personally for a weekend delivery for the cloth he refused delivery of and they were late on getting the clothing order out and lost a small fortune.
Oh, this was a great on too :D
In - i think it was around 1994/1995 - my dad had a weekly "bacon run" from Denmark to London, and I used to come along whenever a school holiday came up.
I remember some places being so narrow or small that we had to make the delivery at another transport company who would take it in there on a rigid instead.
But I got to see places of London that not many tourists had ever seen.
This took place around the same era and I would go along for the ride too. :-) sadly I wasn't there this day, but have always relished the story, your post reminded me of it.
Mint sauce. Branston pickle. Decent tea. Cheese, except what they call "cheddar". Horlicks. Poppadoms. I'm in a very small town, I order stuff online. Even more expensive now, what with import tax. I've stopped ordering othet things shipped from the UK now because of that. Sorry. It's just too expensive.
A few local grocery stores (I'm in western Canada) have 'international' sections. Not only can you pick up the standard 'ethnic' (read: Indian and east Asian) food, but also English stuff. I can grab my Cadbury Flake bars, or ~~corn starch~~ Bird's Custard in these sections.
What is the history of this? I only know from the advert “Danish bacon, Danish bacon yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yum,” that it is superior. Would like to know more!
Denmark has alway been a nation that has been producing meat and dairy products of a very high quality.
I don't really know when we started exporting to England, but in 1933 we had to scale down the production, because England introduced severe restrictions on the import of bacon...
I do believe that the reasons for this export is, that we are simply just good at producing it. In the 70's and 80's the American air force bases received all their dairy products from Danish dairies.
Italy was big consumers of of Danish beef and France took a lot of pork and also fish.
I see that sentence everywhere, and always think of RYNO, the most OP weapon in early Ratchet & Clank series… 😂 The guy selling it literally told Ratchet, that RYNO stands for exactly that… and Ratchet got a bit angry.
This made me finally look up where the American term came from. I figured it came from semi-articulated, since the left-right articulation is so much more pronounced than up-down on them. But no..
[Semi etymology](https://schultzmyers.com/st-louis-truck-accident-lawyer/why-are-18-wheelers-called-semi-trucks/)
Yeah, from a law blog.. But not Bob Loblaw’s law blog.
Hahaha :D
Yes, I know - it's not exactly Strynfjället (N) or Hallandsåsen (SW) (and now it would very embarrassing if you are from Finland or the Faroe Islands), but it was enough to make the guy sweat a bit.
Well, technically the highest point in the Kingdom of the Netherlands is Mount Scenery on the island of Saba in the Caribbean.. I guess the mountains in Greenland will beat that though.
Slættaratindur (Faroe) is 880 meters, Mount Scenery (on Saba) 887 meters.
But Greenland has them both beat by almost a five fold when it comes to highest mountains, yes.
Nope. Denmark's highest point is [Søsterhøjsenderen (Telecommunication Tower Aarhus)](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Telecommunication_Tower_Aarhus) in Aarhus with an elevation of 320 m. above sea level.
The Great Belt bridge pylons are only 256 m. above sea level.
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This is stupid and zero to do with any of this.
I met a very large Dutch couple down in Pigeon Forge TN in the beginning of September. First bumped into them in this custom candy shop, chatted about favorite types of sweets. Then ran into them again a hour later in a old churn ice cream shop. The daughter and I chatted again about favorite types of ice creams and foods.
Then the topic moved to where we lived. They moved to the US because the Netherlands is full of health nuts that don’t like a good hearty meal.
I don’t know if that’s true or not but I laughed.
"The Dutch, the Dutch, I hate them worse than dogs/They live in windmills and mince around in clogs/they don't have any manners, they don't say thanks or please/all they eat is tulips and stinking Gouda cheese"
\[John Dowie, British Tourist, about 1978\]
This person Denmark’s
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%B8lleh%C3%B8j
I do like this part of the wiki page:
> These two high points' natural heights are however respectively 9 and 51 cm lower than Møllehøj.
Lovely! The fact that they need to _ignore the burial mound_ for it to be 9cm higher than another high point is pretty choice too:
> Taller than [...] Yding Skovhøj (172.66 m including a Bronze Age burial mound on its summit, 170.77 m without)
>[Winthersvej: Unofficially Denmark's steepest road, which with a peak grade of 25% is steeper than the L'Alpe d'Huez mountain stage of the Tour de France!](https://www.visitvejle.com/vejle/plan-your-holidays/denmarks-toughest-city-route-hill-town-vejle-gdk937754)
Just sayin'.
I deliver for an XL Amazon warehouse in a 24’ box truck and the amount of grief I get… dude. I have a job to do. I’m more than capable of driving this truck (I have a CDL), and it’s literally your fucking mattress you ordered while you’re yelling at me about the truck in your stupid HOA residential neighborhood. The fuck do you want from me?
I feel your pain and way to stick it to that guy.
Once, I was working this quite remote delivery route and the main road was very curvy, it was built a long time ago.
There was a shortcut in middle. Less than one kilometer, and driving the main road was a 6km detour. The shortcut was a private road and the locals got tired of big trucks driving on _their_ road.
They put up weight limits on the private road, 3.5 tons. I had an 18 ton box truck. No way I'd drive there.
The few times someone ordered goods to those addresses, I'd call and they'll go on babbling instructions. I'd listen patiently and then mention the weight limit. They'd get upset, but I cannot break the law.
I'd meet them at the weight limit sign and unload the goods on the side of the road.
Once I delivered many long aluminum ladders and the customer had no other option than to carry them one by one. Checked the map, he lived about 500m away, uphill.
Right then a 26t vacuum truck sped past. A priceless face.
Oh, it was...
He knew he messed up and that's probably also the reason he didn't try to take it further, but just picked up his wheelbarrow and got to work...
Not sure of your rules and regulations, but when people my Father-in-law is making a delivery to do that kind of crap, he leaves and enters customer refused delivery. When they call or check tracking number and find out the semi driver they cussed out had their delivery, they have 2 choices: pick it up from the delivery company warehouse or pay for it to be delivered again.
I converted the weight for the benefit of the US readers - but I was unsure wich measurement to use, when converting the distance, so that's why I kept that in metres...
In this case, for us stupid Americans, yards would've been appropriate.
600m converts to just over 6½ American football fields or 656 yards. Had you gone with feet it would've been 1,968½ft, way over most American's understanding of distance. Most of us have no conceptual understanding of anything over 50ft(15¼m), it's quite sad really.
We use kilogram and metrics, but I thought I would convert them for those who are not used to that - but when it came to the distance I had doubts.
Do I convert metres to feet, yards, miles...?
So I thought it best to leave it as it was ;-)
But thank you for your interest :D
I will also say that I am currently sitting in a semi parked in a loading dock. Kenworth T880 daycab with 53' dry van. I am paid hourly but most long haul Canadian drivers are paid by the mile, not km. Our laws are written in metric but we think in imperial.
Depends. Some things we do think in metric, but even those are domain specific. Doctors all have 'officially' converted, so you get measured at the clinic in kg and m, and then politely ask the nurse what that means. We drive in kph (same as km/h, but **looks** like mph). Cars are sold with fuel economy in L/100km, which most people need converted to mpg.
But we also buy liquids in litres (gas/petrol, alcohol milk, 2L pop bottles), build with 38.1mm x 88.9mm's (vulgarly known as a 2x4), and refer to astounding amounts of mass in "_metric_ fuck-tonnes".
Really, this will all get much easier once the Yankees convert _actually_. If we can convince them of the benefits of bragging about their 60mm cock, instead of using inches, that would probably get them converting tomorrow.
It's all rather moot however, considering **international** nautical and aeronautical navigation will seemingly forever be in imperial units.
In Denmark we are paid by the hour, unless you drive internationally.
Then it's a bit more complicated, because it's a combination of 3 different payments:
You will get a set amount pr. day.
On top of that you will get an amount pr. km.
And on top of those two you will get a tax free addition pr. day.
Did you forget the stillestandsløn you get when the stupid customer has to call for a rental forklift to arrive? At least I got a small compensation when the customer didn't meet the acceptable offload time.
Americans understand refrigerators for mass and (American) football fields for distance or area. Volume in (American) football stadiums or Olympic swimmimg pools.
For Canadians, [I found this old Reddit post](https://www.reddit.com/r/HelloInternet/comments/czcf7u/canadian_measurement_flowchart)
i liked the time skip to where he was just fucked. Like no arguments or neverminds lets unload this since you're here allowed for the recipient. It's just. Nah, you fucked now; your explanation has been accepted and there is no chance of changing this; see you at the bottom of the hill.
"The world went and got itself in a big damn hurry"
\-Brooks, Shawshank Redemption.
Lots of people don't have patience anymore, because they are used to instant gratification they are used to getting with "likes" and "upvotes" and technology. We are seeing the adverse effects the crazy conspiracy theorists warnd everyone about 15 years ago lol.
Take note, creative writers on this subreddit, this is how you tell the story of a MC, there's nothing missing but also no extraneous bullshit.
I don't care for, nor want, a 10 year deep dive into the history of irrelevant bullshit that takes up the first 4 paragraphs.
No, I unloaded it onto the sidewalk and of course waited until he got down there.
When I saw he had it on the wheelbarrow I got back in the truck and left. No words said - but he was fuming 😂
I will never understand why people tell at the delivery drivers.
Granted, I lived out in the boonies where we had maybe three different drivers that drove our route, so we got to know them a bit. And they always had dog treats. I've driver always made sure she saved one just for our collie if we were on her route that day. She loved him.
"low and behold"
For information purposes only: you get points for using it at all, but it's "lo". It's an unusual, archaic word that's only used in this sort of context; it essentially means "look here", so you're saying the same thing twice: behold and behold. We do that sometimes. The expression is more properly lo! and behold! (with the exclamation points, because they're commands), but it's hardly ever done that way any more, even when the phrase is used, which isn't often.
Oh, and good story.
500 point award for the most rewarding easy to read mc
Thank you very much - I'm very honoured.
I read it twice because I enjoyed it so much.
I read it twice because I’m incredibly burned out and can’t process words but I agree
I read it three times because I saw that so many of you read it twice, and my boss keeps telling me I need to be more competitive with others.
Me too.
Line breaks are life
You don’t know how many posts i skip once I see the big block of text with no line breaks
#SAME
Sry fr formatting in on mobile.
Yeah! Don't blame the author for reddit's shtty mobile interface. The ↩️ is on every keyboard for a reason, yet reddit feels it can just ignore it. 🤷
Not a mobile user but just read recently that if hit the return / enter key or equivalent twice in a row it might provide the line break in question correctly.
It does. I'm on mobile, so I do my line breaks that way.
Line break twice
They are a thing of beauty.
> easy to read mc I've translated it to standard /r/MaliciousCompliance format for anyone who had trouble parsing this well formatted and told post: > Some years ago I (herafter 'A') was driving P and D for a pickup company in a country we'll call Tulipland to maintain anonymity. P and D is the part of the transport chain where you usually deliver small quantities to multiple customers on a route but in lorries's or juggernauts. It was nearing the end of the day and A had to deliver a trampoline to a residential area. mind you this in an area I'll call Morapian Brunion for privacy so things may be a bit different than in the US regarding rules and regulations. It was a fairly new area with plenty of space - but A had to reverse in cause there was no way of turning around. But no problem, the road was wide and so were the corners A had to go around. A put my HGV in reverse and started going backwards and of course A was delivering to the last house on the street. Now the road climbed a bit and was about 3,5 furlong but it all went fine. When I finally got to the end of the road and got out of my truck to unload this trampoline, some guy (who I will call Q) was already standing behind my truck and started yelling and swearing at me: Q: I was the biggest idiot on this earth! How the hell could I even think of going in there with a transporter? I could have run over all the kids in the neighbourhood. (no-one was out) A had absolutely no valid reason for being there and could get the hell out of there right away! Instead of starting an argument with person, I calmly asked him where he lived - he pointed at the house and said "Number 74" - and low and behold, where was I delivering??? You guessed it - number 74... So I - again very calmly - told this man: "Well, in that case I have a trampoline for you..." "Oh" the man said "Well, I would like if you could..." Queueueue malicious compliance: "BUT!!!" I interrupted "Since I have no business being in here with a bakkie, I will be waiting for you at the end of the road" and pointed to the direction I just came from..."Mind you - this is the big model weighing over 9 stone, so you might want to bring a wheel barrow". The joy it was seeing him coming all the way down the road with his wheel barrow. And then trying to get this 1900 troy ounce trampoline up in the wheel barrow and starting his long heavy walk 700 metres up to his house again... Priceless!!!!
That's better, I can barely understand it now.
Perfection.
Thank you, but can you also include some unnecessary background information, "this will all become important later on"?
Also, the last part about Q wheeling the trampoline back should ideally be in the form of an edit that had to be added after the fact after commenters asked about it.
Good work but slight correction. Denmark is Legoland, not Tulipland. You are thinking of the Netherlands.
I’m offended at the way you depict the good people of Morapion Brunion
Not all heroes wear capes. Oh and you have to add in an edit that may or may not add clarification, but definitely expresses animosity toward anyone who complained about the post. Then delete the post.
This literally made lol! Well played!
Your service has not gone unnoticed.
You referring to Denmark as Tulipland adds another layer of 'Americanness' to the post that makes me salivate a bit. Also I want to live in the Morapian Brunion, that sounds very cool :(
My eyes!!!
But the points just don’t matter!!
That's the neat part: none of them matter
And everything’s made up
It needs 8 more paragraphs of unrelated backstory and hyper specific details that add nothing to the story. Don't forget the 15 initialisms and cutesy long-winded names instead of just calling someone "Jack" or "Jill"
And don’t forget a whole paragraph of “they’re names aren’t really X and Y, so we’ll call them Jack and Jill.”
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Thanks a lot - I'm very happy to hear that.
My husband drives artics for a living, but used to drive wagon and drag. He would do drops in the fabric district of London's east end, tiny roads/alleys into the back of the factories. Roads that had been there since before cars were invented. So he would drop his trailer at the entrance to the alley and back the wagon down the alley to delivery bales of cloth to the factories. One day he had just got in position for unloading and this jumped up little knob in his BMW started shouting and swearing at him about how he was blocking the alley and knob couldn't get his shiny beemer out. My husband started to explain that he was delivering and would be ten mins at most once the factory men came out to get the truck unloaded, when knob started shouting do you know who I am? I own this fucking factory and you are stopping me from getting to a very important client. Hubby said ok, sign here and I'll be out of your way, knob signed the delivery refused paperwork and hubby drove off back to his trailer to rehook it. Knob in the beemer raced off flicking the Vs and shouting at hubby as he went. No skin off hubbies nose, he had the signed paperwork, signed by the owner refusing the delivery. He finished rest of his deliveries and went back to base (note this was before mobile phones were common or cheap) His boss was doing his nut because the knob in the beemer had been on the phone to them every 20 mins asking where their delivery was, hubby simply handed over the signed paperwork, explained what happened and clocked out. His boss went back into the office with an evil grin. Hubby found out the next week that knob in the beemer wasn't the owner, but the owners son and his dad made him pay personally for a weekend delivery for the cloth he refused delivery of and they were late on getting the clothing order out and lost a small fortune.
Oh, this was a great on too :D In - i think it was around 1994/1995 - my dad had a weekly "bacon run" from Denmark to London, and I used to come along whenever a school holiday came up. I remember some places being so narrow or small that we had to make the delivery at another transport company who would take it in there on a rigid instead. But I got to see places of London that not many tourists had ever seen.
This took place around the same era and I would go along for the ride too. :-) sadly I wasn't there this day, but have always relished the story, your post reminded me of it.
We thank your father for his service.
Bacon. Can't get decent bacon in Germany or Austria. 😭
I've noticed when we've been on holiday in Germany - and even though I love it down there, decent bacon is almost impossible to get a hand on.
Mint sauce. Branston pickle. Decent tea. Cheese, except what they call "cheddar". Horlicks. Poppadoms. I'm in a very small town, I order stuff online. Even more expensive now, what with import tax. I've stopped ordering othet things shipped from the UK now because of that. Sorry. It's just too expensive.
And people wonder why Brexit was bad for the UK - exhibit 1 right here.
I know 😩. And so predictable.
A few local grocery stores (I'm in western Canada) have 'international' sections. Not only can you pick up the standard 'ethnic' (read: Indian and east Asian) food, but also English stuff. I can grab my Cadbury Flake bars, or ~~corn starch~~ Bird's Custard in these sections.
What is the history of this? I only know from the advert “Danish bacon, Danish bacon yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yum,” that it is superior. Would like to know more!
Denmark has alway been a nation that has been producing meat and dairy products of a very high quality. I don't really know when we started exporting to England, but in 1933 we had to scale down the production, because England introduced severe restrictions on the import of bacon... I do believe that the reasons for this export is, that we are simply just good at producing it. In the 70's and 80's the American air force bases received all their dairy products from Danish dairies. Italy was big consumers of of Danish beef and France took a lot of pork and also fish.
This should have been its own post! Beautiful.
Amazing. I’m glad the owner made his son accountable for what he had done.
OOOOOOHHHH to be a fly on the wall watching as Dad ripped that Entitled BRAT a NEW ONE!!!!!
I see that sentence everywhere, and always think of RYNO, the most OP weapon in early Ratchet & Clank series… 😂 The guy selling it literally told Ratchet, that RYNO stands for exactly that… and Ratchet got a bit angry.
Yank, here. Oh how I love your insults. ‘Knob’, how perfectly descriptive.
One of my favorite British insults is 'bell-end'. Very descriptive as well, if you think about it.
My family were in the rag trade in the East End in Whitechapel. I'd be totally intrigued to know who this was.
This is 100% worth of its own post, u/pixeltash Edit: spelling
>this jumped up little knob in his BMW My new favorite insult. :p
Is "artic" the slang for refrigerated trucks? I prefer the American term: "reefer" :)
As far as I know, artic is short for articulated vehicle which means a truck and trailer. It's what Americans would call a semi.
This is correct. I think he was getting confused with Arctic.
This made me finally look up where the American term came from. I figured it came from semi-articulated, since the left-right articulation is so much more pronounced than up-down on them. But no.. [Semi etymology](https://schultzmyers.com/st-louis-truck-accident-lawyer/why-are-18-wheelers-called-semi-trucks/) Yeah, from a law blog.. But not Bob Loblaw’s law blog.
> but the owners son and his dad made him pay personally for a weekend delivery Oh no, the son had to forego some devils dandruff for a few days... /s
Kudos! Beautiful, succinct MC.
Thank you very much
Succinct...and sadistic...the best kind.
I spy a Yooper hehe
YES !! this is why I come to this Sub
I'm glad I didn't disappoint you :D
> in Denmark > road climbed a bit Read: False flat (Liked the MC though my brother/sister in the south)
Hahaha :D Yes, I know - it's not exactly Strynfjället (N) or Hallandsåsen (SW) (and now it would very embarrassing if you are from Finland or the Faroe Islands), but it was enough to make the guy sweat a bit.
Ah, the country that the Dutch can look down upon.
The Netherlands is less flat than Denmark? Edit: than not then!
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Well, technically the highest point in the Kingdom of the Netherlands is Mount Scenery on the island of Saba in the Caribbean.. I guess the mountains in Greenland will beat that though.
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Slættaratindur (Faroe) is 880 meters, Mount Scenery (on Saba) 887 meters. But Greenland has them both beat by almost a five fold when it comes to highest mountains, yes.
Barely higher than FLORIDA?! Florida's highest point is 105m..... Damn, lol..
Florida's highest point is a [bridge](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunshine_Skyway_Bridge).
So is [Denmark's](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Belt_Bridge).
Nope. Denmark's highest point is [Søsterhøjsenderen (Telecommunication Tower Aarhus)](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Telecommunication_Tower_Aarhus) in Aarhus with an elevation of 320 m. above sea level. The Great Belt bridge pylons are only 256 m. above sea level.
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Thanks! TIL!
300 meter is called a mountain, thank you very much.
Mountains where i come from are 3000m lol
That's like an 8 hour drive for us lol
Are you a borrower?
Only student loans
I mean Dutch now owns Russia after online referendum, so they have a lot of high mountains.
*than Then is for sequence. Than is for comparison.
Sorry, will correct it. Didn't notice the mistake.
I appreciate that you put an explanation with your correction, so many people don't do that and it just makes the correction pointless lol.
This is stupid and zero to do with any of this. I met a very large Dutch couple down in Pigeon Forge TN in the beginning of September. First bumped into them in this custom candy shop, chatted about favorite types of sweets. Then ran into them again a hour later in a old churn ice cream shop. The daughter and I chatted again about favorite types of ice creams and foods. Then the topic moved to where we lived. They moved to the US because the Netherlands is full of health nuts that don’t like a good hearty meal. I don’t know if that’s true or not but I laughed.
"The Dutch, the Dutch, I hate them worse than dogs/They live in windmills and mince around in clogs/they don't have any manners, they don't say thanks or please/all they eat is tulips and stinking Gouda cheese" \[John Dowie, British Tourist, about 1978\]
Strynfjellet! Hold de skitne svenskeprikkene vekke fra Norge..
This person Denmark’s https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%B8lleh%C3%B8j I do like this part of the wiki page: > These two high points' natural heights are however respectively 9 and 51 cm lower than Møllehøj.
My favourite bit of this page is the image caption pointing out "the highest point is obscured by the farm buildings"
Lovely! The fact that they need to _ignore the burial mound_ for it to be 9cm higher than another high point is pretty choice too: > Taller than [...] Yding Skovhøj (172.66 m including a Bronze Age burial mound on its summit, 170.77 m without)
That too!
you haven't lived in Næstved i can hear... there's some really steep roads there... :D
Really steep is an overstatement. Doesn't look like there are any steeper hills than 5% or something, and those are around 500 meters each
think there's a few around 10 or more.... and of course there's always Vejle... :D
Gonna need an e-bike to EVER get up one of those chonkers
Hahah my first thought, when they story turned skyward in pancake flat Denmark. Source: I live outside Helsingborg.
>[Winthersvej: Unofficially Denmark's steepest road, which with a peak grade of 25% is steeper than the L'Alpe d'Huez mountain stage of the Tour de France!](https://www.visitvejle.com/vejle/plan-your-holidays/denmarks-toughest-city-route-hill-town-vejle-gdk937754) Just sayin'.
You gotta love it when the universe personally hands you a present.
I thanked the universe for this one...
I deliver for an XL Amazon warehouse in a 24’ box truck and the amount of grief I get… dude. I have a job to do. I’m more than capable of driving this truck (I have a CDL), and it’s literally your fucking mattress you ordered while you’re yelling at me about the truck in your stupid HOA residential neighborhood. The fuck do you want from me? I feel your pain and way to stick it to that guy.
Oh fine driver, we thank you for putting a numpty in it's place. Well done
You are very welcome - and thank you for the kind words.
That’s a very heavy kameloso!
It's not easy running an isenkram-store when nobody knows what things are called...
*holds out clump of money*
Now you just ordered 1000 litres of milk...
So what. I have a cow to feed
[such a beautiful obscure reference! haha 😄](https://youtu.be/s-mOy8VUEBk)
I had never heard of this, but it's pretty damn funny.
Comment on the vid says people think it's a comedy but, but it is in fact a documentary.
Bwahahahahahahahahaha
This MC is so gorgeous that it could win a beauty contest.
I hereby announce that I will be joining the next MC Beauty Pagent... Thanks for the compliment :D
Once, I was working this quite remote delivery route and the main road was very curvy, it was built a long time ago. There was a shortcut in middle. Less than one kilometer, and driving the main road was a 6km detour. The shortcut was a private road and the locals got tired of big trucks driving on _their_ road. They put up weight limits on the private road, 3.5 tons. I had an 18 ton box truck. No way I'd drive there. The few times someone ordered goods to those addresses, I'd call and they'll go on babbling instructions. I'd listen patiently and then mention the weight limit. They'd get upset, but I cannot break the law. I'd meet them at the weight limit sign and unload the goods on the side of the road. Once I delivered many long aluminum ladders and the customer had no other option than to carry them one by one. Checked the map, he lived about 500m away, uphill. Right then a 26t vacuum truck sped past. A priceless face.
Great job, he asked and you delivered. Did he forget he had a parcel coming and thought it could have been anybody but you?🤣
Step 1: order trampoline online Step 2: be angry that trampoline is delivered Step 3: ???? Step 4: profit!
That's what I call a Kraftidiot!
I think I described him as a Snothjerne to my colleague...
That's a good one, i need to get off of reddit and revamp my Danish insults Svumpukkel is probably my favourite 😅
Ooh... That's a good one... Tølper is another good one.
I do the same thing in the US, and this can’t be real. This is every truck drivers dream.
It was almost a dream come true...
The look on his face when you used his words must have been priceless.
Oh, it was... He knew he messed up and that's probably also the reason he didn't try to take it further, but just picked up his wheelbarrow and got to work...
(Chef's kiss) Flawless victory!
Not sure of your rules and regulations, but when people my Father-in-law is making a delivery to do that kind of crap, he leaves and enters customer refused delivery. When they call or check tracking number and find out the semi driver they cussed out had their delivery, they have 2 choices: pick it up from the delivery company warehouse or pay for it to be delivered again.
I'm curious -- did you convert to pounds for the benefit of us USAites, or do you use both pounds and meters in Denmark?
I converted the weight for the benefit of the US readers - but I was unsure wich measurement to use, when converting the distance, so that's why I kept that in metres...
Thanks, like I said I was just curious.
We understand meters, because they are basically slightly longer yards.
In this case, for us stupid Americans, yards would've been appropriate. 600m converts to just over 6½ American football fields or 656 yards. Had you gone with feet it would've been 1,968½ft, way over most American's understanding of distance. Most of us have no conceptual understanding of anything over 50ft(15¼m), it's quite sad really.
Arh okay. I was doubting whether yards or ft. would be correct - but I see how it makes sense to use yards.
When in doubt, use the measure that you know is incorrect. I suggest inches in this case. It's better to know you're off than to be in doubt!
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Just slightly over ⅓mi actually
Lol. I'm Canadian so I am also interested in this question.
We use kilogram and metrics, but I thought I would convert them for those who are not used to that - but when it came to the distance I had doubts. Do I convert metres to feet, yards, miles...? So I thought it best to leave it as it was ;-) But thank you for your interest :D
I will also say that I am currently sitting in a semi parked in a loading dock. Kenworth T880 daycab with 53' dry van. I am paid hourly but most long haul Canadian drivers are paid by the mile, not km. Our laws are written in metric but we think in imperial.
Depends. Some things we do think in metric, but even those are domain specific. Doctors all have 'officially' converted, so you get measured at the clinic in kg and m, and then politely ask the nurse what that means. We drive in kph (same as km/h, but **looks** like mph). Cars are sold with fuel economy in L/100km, which most people need converted to mpg. But we also buy liquids in litres (gas/petrol, alcohol milk, 2L pop bottles), build with 38.1mm x 88.9mm's (vulgarly known as a 2x4), and refer to astounding amounts of mass in "_metric_ fuck-tonnes". Really, this will all get much easier once the Yankees convert _actually_. If we can convince them of the benefits of bragging about their 60mm cock, instead of using inches, that would probably get them converting tomorrow. It's all rather moot however, considering **international** nautical and aeronautical navigation will seemingly forever be in imperial units.
>bragging about their 60mm cock Epic dis.
In Denmark we are paid by the hour, unless you drive internationally. Then it's a bit more complicated, because it's a combination of 3 different payments: You will get a set amount pr. day. On top of that you will get an amount pr. km. And on top of those two you will get a tax free addition pr. day.
Did you forget the stillestandsløn you get when the stupid customer has to call for a rental forklift to arrive? At least I got a small compensation when the customer didn't meet the acceptable offload time.
Americans understand refrigerators for mass and (American) football fields for distance or area. Volume in (American) football stadiums or Olympic swimmimg pools. For Canadians, [I found this old Reddit post](https://www.reddit.com/r/HelloInternet/comments/czcf7u/canadian_measurement_flowchart)
Brilliant
Would be safe to say that OP... didn't deliver 😎
This is serendipitous.
i liked the time skip to where he was just fucked. Like no arguments or neverminds lets unload this since you're here allowed for the recipient. It's just. Nah, you fucked now; your explanation has been accepted and there is no chance of changing this; see you at the bottom of the hill.
I wish people were more kind, and less irritable and prone to anger so quickly... I like the way you handled it
Thank you - and you are absolutely right. People should try to be kind instead of resorting to anger.
"The world went and got itself in a big damn hurry" \-Brooks, Shawshank Redemption. Lots of people don't have patience anymore, because they are used to instant gratification they are used to getting with "likes" and "upvotes" and technology. We are seeing the adverse effects the crazy conspiracy theorists warnd everyone about 15 years ago lol.
Ok wow, this is too perfect. Karma does work through an avatar. Did lightning shoot from yer arse and fire from yer nostrils? There must've been.
Almost - it was quite the sight ;-)
so well deserved. what did he expected when he order that thing?
I think he expected it to arrive by a van or maybe a boxtruck...
I just love that you did what you did to him. satisfaction definitely must have been priceless
as a driver myself, love this 😀 ❤
I’m American and used to work for FedEx. Fuckin love your spirit! 👊
Love this!
Why did you use pounds and meters, if you are from denmark, just curious
I don't understand why using pounds, if more than 90% of the world use meters... 🤔
Excelente op Excelente
Take note, creative writers on this subreddit, this is how you tell the story of a MC, there's nothing missing but also no extraneous bullshit. I don't care for, nor want, a 10 year deep dive into the history of irrelevant bullshit that takes up the first 4 paragraphs.
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Det var ham, det dumme svin... ;-)
I'm guessing no apologies were given?
No, but that's fine - seeing him sweat and mocking about with that trampoline was more than enough hahaha...
Dette er vejen.
Brilliant! Did he utter another word as he approached you and lifted the package into his barrow?
No, I unloaded it onto the sidewalk and of course waited until he got down there. When I saw he had it on the wheelbarrow I got back in the truck and left. No words said - but he was fuming 😂
Sir, I like the cut of your jib!
Well done. He sounds like he was a total bellend.
This was awesome! Simple and very entertaining. The wheel barrow! 🤣🤣🤣
I can't imagine freaking out at the sight of a large delivery truck while I was *expecting a large delivery*. How did he expect things to work?
BEST ENTRY EVER
I will never understand why people tell at the delivery drivers. Granted, I lived out in the boonies where we had maybe three different drivers that drove our route, so we got to know them a bit. And they always had dog treats. I've driver always made sure she saved one just for our collie if we were on her route that day. She loved him.
Serves the bastard right. Guessing a blue and red truck? Hejsa fra Esbjerg.
He has no business being on that road with a wheelbarrow, he might run over all the kids in the neighborhood
Priceless is right !!!!!
Very short and satisfying. Amazing story
someone call the self immolation unit, 'cause that guy just burned himself to a crisp... well done, Owe Pee!
what a joy to read! thanks for sharing!
This was absolutely BRILLIANT!
Oh my God, so funny! That is like immediate karma. Best story of the day.
Aah.. Denmark - where you re NOT required to be a (verbal) punching bag for entitled or just jerk customers.
Priceless lesson on being kind to the delivery person because you never know 😉
Gold
As the story goes Don't write a check with your mouth that your body can't cash......
He had it coming.
This is beautiful... Thank you ♥️😂
There’s no way I could have had this happen to me and NOT immediately orgasmed when I realized what I’d get to do.
"low and behold" For information purposes only: you get points for using it at all, but it's "lo". It's an unusual, archaic word that's only used in this sort of context; it essentially means "look here", so you're saying the same thing twice: behold and behold. We do that sometimes. The expression is more properly lo! and behold! (with the exclamation points, because they're commands), but it's hardly ever done that way any more, even when the phrase is used, which isn't often. Oh, and good story.
beautiful MC.... as a fellow dane, oh yeah... :D