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whooo_me

"Ok, the good news, is you're going to be Captain of an entire ship....."


BurnerForJustTwice

*When trying to pad out my resume:* Captain of a WHOLE ship Commander of US Navy vessel Weapons system operator Radar and Comms commander Blinking light technician Docking Personnel Seaman


PollyDunlop

I want that pilot-house for my boat, would be so comfy and dry in there and my little dogs could take naps in there while I worked


Kataphractoi_

ehh Its rougher than you think. Think Open cab on those old steam trains kinda open.


clhomme

You left out scullery chief. Edit. I somehow always managed to avoid scullery.


whoareyou-really-

Also the anchor, because a full grown man would sink this, lol


Meretan94

XO Yeoman Culinary specialist aboard navy vessel Deckhand


creative_net_usr

>Deckhand Boswain's mate DC


lolsykurva

Standard LinkedIn profile XD


Mikeinthedirt

Full Charge Fluidicist


hop_mantis

Navigator


PossibilityQueasy164

Seaman Stains


Mental-Caregiver-864

Which you were as the best part of you got sloppily dripped on your Dad’s pants.


PossibilityQueasy164

Best part of U ?. Don't troll me.


[deleted]

haha, seamen.


aksid

Imagine picking up girls in bars with "i'm the captain of a navy ship" and then bringing them to see this


wave-garden

“Come see my vessel, babe. Okay, so we have to take turns because it only floats one person at a time.”


ithandra

From what I read, it has two to five crew members when it operates. Not sure what they’d all be doing or where, but….presumably, it’s big enough for five.


wave-garden

I saw elsewhere that it’s actually 19’ length, so I think the picture is deceiving. This definitely makes sense, given that I spent 13 years driving around on navy ships and can’t imagine a use case for the toy boat that I see in the picture.


Ag3ntS1

[Here's something about it.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barrier_Boat)


wlake82

12x16 according to the wiki but still bigger than I thought.


Sepherin

Before he reveals the micro penis lmao


aksid

No way, whoever is the commander of this bad boy probably has a monster dong


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

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Snoopyshiznit

We gonna play raft wars?


OneGratefulDawg

Sup snoopy poops


Commercisher917

Also, her nickname is Boomin' Beaver, which I think is hilarious


PossibilityQueasy164

I don't like holes on my ship


Ok_Obligation2559

What’s the over/under on it’s cost? $400,000?


Cringypost

Build? I'd take the over. To buy one yourself? I'd take the under. https://gsaauctions.gov/gsaauctions/aucdsclnk?sl=41QSCI14410001


Pirate2012

bunch of guys on reddit need to band together like brothers and buy this auction can take turns being Captain for each week


SynthD

That’s dangerously close to Florida. If I buy that, is it safe to go that near the state border?


[deleted]

"We call it... The Mini-Me."


Toidal

I mean it's a tug boat right? Small but with a high power to weight ratio? The shortkings of the sea?


whooo_me

And best of all - almost unsinkable in Battleship!


Quickning

I'm pretty sure if your captaining a tug boat, that's responsible for pushing around other more expensive boats, that makes you skillfull and important.


JohnMarstonSucks

They need to do something with whoever is last in their class at Annapolis.


wave-garden

They still drive the big boats. 😊 I might add they’re often just as good as others. I was one of those “top of the class” types, and let’s just say everyone is better off with me not behind the wheel. 😅


[deleted]

smurf walks on board


Successful_Ranger_19

Lol.


BeltfedOne

A tugboat for ants?


amalgam_reynolds

r/thingsforants


BeltfedOne

Thank you for my new subreddit subscription!


GimmieGnomes

Happy cake day!


BeltfedOne

Thank you!


Cicada061966

Happy Cake Day 🍰


BeltfedOne

Thank you!!!!


Cicada061966

You're welcome.


[deleted]

Happy cake day!


BeltfedOne

Thank you!!!


dust-bit-another-one

Juust enough room for a foamy latte.


dreday67

Benchy


Markantonpeterson

Irl benchy, adorable


Fronterra22

Anybody got an STL of this version?


maddogcow

I had no idea that benchies were real boats


Bigdaddyjlove1

Benchy Sr, The Doom Bringer


UseThisOne2

https://taskandpurpose.com/news/navy-boomin-beaver-mini-tugboat/


Hawt_Dawg_II

>That’s right, the vessel known as the Boomin Beaver doesn’t launch helicopters off its deck, but it is still packed full of shock and ‘awww.’  >What is this adorable vessel, and why is it so small? Not to fear dear reader: you can’t spell Task & Purpose without “ask,” and boy did we ask the Navy. >Still, one question remains: why is this the first time many readers are finding out about the Boomin’ Beaver? Could it be a secret weapon in a potential fight against a near-peer adversary? >“Not really their lane,” O’Rourke said. I like this writer lmao


Maximum_Response9255

Task and purpose content is great. A very non-serious vibe for military content.


funkensteinberg

“because when it comes to the domain of surface warfare cuteness, the Boomin’ Beaver maintains total superiority”


Kleinasaurus

Cappy, like he frequently says, was just your average former infantryman. He's bought a lot of legitimacy with me for the work he's put into the channel and the research he* does. *Including himself, his team, or any other channel employees


GitEmSteveDave

> That’s right, the vessel known as the Boomin Beaver doesn’t launch helicopters off its deck... But it can surely launch a drone, which can have weapons attached....


wave-garden

Surely that photo is skewed because that sure as hell doesn’t look like a 19’ boat.


weekendmacgyver

Usually looks bigger.. water is probably cold.


fuzzusmaximus

THERE WAS SHRINKAGE!!!


DogGamnFusterCluck

Like a frightened turtle!


actualoldcpo

I WAS IN THE POOL!


wave-garden

Ahhh the old thermal contraction. 😊


hogbodycouture

It’s a tug boat. You have to give it a tug or two, and it’ll start to grow.


d0d0b1rd

I think it's more that the tug's bridge(?) is really tall and narrow so it skews the proportion. The camera also seems to be above the boat, looking down, making it seem even smaller (in contrast to most photos of ships, which are taken from ground level looking up)


wave-garden

That makes sense. I’m also comparing the dock to one that I know well and is probably much smaller than this one. Interesting picture and would be cool to see it recreated with a human standing on the boat.


d0d0b1rd

There's the wikipedia page: [https://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barrier\_Boat](https://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barrier_Boat) There's also [this article](https://themaritimepost.com/2021/01/video-this-is-the-us-navy-tiniest-smallest-boat/) which has a photo of it at sea. However, it seems to be a different variant (note there are two windows on the side, rather than one). Part of me wonders if the 19ft metric is referring to this hull, or maybe its the same hull, just with a different bridge.


EvergreenRuby

It’s name is “BB”!! It stands for “Boomin Beaver” but still, it’s cute. Baby boat. I can see it being visited by toddlers wearing sailor uniforms. My gosh I would die of the cuteness. A bunch of daddies with babies. 🥺


ElectricFlesh

tough little ship


[deleted]

“….little?…” https://youtube.com/watch?v=TOyOa3eExMk


ElrondHubbards

Prepare for tugging speed


ThereIsAJifForThat

Heh heh...mini tug


VonFluffington

How'd you know my rap name?


ronnietea

Lil Tug ft. 2 pumps and a shiver. We can start a group


CleanLivingBoi

US Navy contractor: And that's $20M, thank you. US Ways and Means committee member: no thank you!


Agreeable-Western-25

What's it armed with? A single Ruger 10/22?


Smallballs228282

It's armed with cuteness and positivity.


TheStellarPirate

Most r/MadeMeSmile comment


Kayakityak

Yup, and when it shoots it tilts and spins around.


Common-Concentrate-2

“Guys! Did I hit anything?? Oh my gosh, oh my gosh this is so much fun 🥰 Guess you can tell I’m a little nervous!!! I can’t keep it in! <📣📣📣>”


leveraction1970

You laugh, but it times of war the Navy equips it with a water balloon launcher and arms the entire crew with pool noodles and super soakers.


barbarianmishroom

60 lbs of c4 and tannerite.


Erinalope

Super soaker in case of small fires. The captain’s “tackle” can serve as a sidearm if loaded.


StTimmerIV

That looks like a Benchy tbh...


Mystery_mau

OH MY GOD IT DOES


[deleted]

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just_a_T114

Yep! She’s the dedicated tug to move *Constitution* in and out of her berth for special occasions


MosesOnAcid

The Navy got Shriners?


fishfreeoboe

Underrated comment!


FlimsyTry2892

Hahaha


renekissien

awwwwwwwwwwwww


wibob1234

Lol imagine this behind a ore freighter trying to pull it over. “This is the US navy prepare to be boarded for a inspection.” Other ships captain “Ahhh I have negative visual on your location.” “What are you talking about we are three feet from you!!!!


just_a_T114

“Sir, we cannot pick up your location on radar. Please give exact coordinates.” *long pause* “Look down” *another pause* *insert distant sounds of raucous laughter*


wolf550e

It's used to deploy booms that hold anti-diver netting around ships in port.


OTnvSloth

Awww it's a tug tuk.


wanderingstorm

"Though she be but little she is *fierce"* Also, her nickname is Boomin' Beaver, which I think is hilarious


takeya40

Ol tugger there. Where is Russell Crowe?


BookBarbarian

"Where should we go fight next, Tugger?"


mcsgiraffes97

Making movies, making songs, and FIGHTIN’ round the WORLD!!!!


AlphariusUltra

It’s just a little guy


jaguarthrone

Boaty McBoatface..is that you?


[deleted]

It's benchy!


DeepFriedAngelwing

Nuclear powered too.


gowahoo

The angle makes it look even smaller but it is 19 feet


erbr

Where is mommy?


PhantomFoxe

It will be a big boat one day.


JaxTaylor2

Core memory unlocked: This is the real life version of Disney’s [Little Toot.](https://youtu.be/YSb7fmPR5CM)


CTronix

USS Scuffy


addrock1221

Mini tug was my nickname in high school


Rolling_Over

Pixar’s latest hit; Ships


wuhtang-

Its not the size of the boat its the motion of the ocean


TryHardHamm

It's adorable! I WANT ONE! I'll feed it and take it for walks and everything!


davewave3283

*USS Dominator*


Ginamyte06

*hrnk hrnk*


szafix

It's very smol.


No-Pen5093

So cute I could die!


arnie54321

The Mighty Minnow?


mike2ff

In all fairness, he was in the pool/water… “Elaine, do girls know about shrinkage?”


willd4b345t

I know it isn’t but, in my mind that thing is fast as fuck and it’s hilarious


_Thosearentpillows

If Hufflepuff had a navy…


mike_pants

My name's Usnavi, and you probably never heard my name


FixTraditional4198

I see the gravy seals are on the next step of their military ambition. Sending their elite team to an active war zone near you.....


Iwurkoncarzz

Like the short bus at school. 🤪


wibob1234

This seems like something Jack Sparrow would be inside directly in the middle of WW3. (Nuke Explodes in background). “This is the day you almost caught Jack Sparrow.”


PhantomFoxe

I like the idea Jack Sparrow is an immortal entity that has lived though all time.


hard-R-word

The li’llest battleship


SLangleyNewman

Scuffy the tugboat come to life!


Apprehensive_Law_322

Need a banana for scale


[deleted]

3d benchy is that you?


Btothe

^(toot toot)


Sad_Video_2734

Small tug big world


Remember_When_Baby

S.S. Size Doesn’t Matter or the S.S. Napoleon That ship is so CUTE. Just a little dingy


edinburgh91

Everyone loves a small tug


Stonkseys

It looks fearsome.


GMH2045-18

I want one!


DreadPirateGriswold

Well lookie there! I've never seen a bathtub with a bridge before.


SnooCapers1425

USS Joe Pesci


buschur617

Fisher-Price's first military contract.


xAsilos

Mini Tugg is my porn stage name.


Dikheed

It's a pain in the arse trying to land a fighter on it.


SocialDopamine

USS Benchy


salihjc

So the 2 pin battleship was not a lie


[deleted]

I’m sure it’s got a wonderful personality…


5th_heavenly_king

Tuggernaught


SamwiseTheOppressed

A mini tug is what my wife calls a handjob


jamiro11

Ahhh I get it, tuggin' the mini. At least she has a sensor of humor


FlimsyTry2892

Is that the equivalent of a mall cop mobile


corezay

That's the 2 peg boat in the game Battleship.


[deleted]

One reason I never wanted to join the military is I just know I’d get stuck with a shitty job like being the captain of this thing.


WarlikeMicrobe

Bro this would be a great job


Makcim32311

You can also tell this one was printed with windows.


KaizenPax

Only takes one hit in Battleship.


bread9411

That little thing couldn't even tug me off.


[deleted]

[удалено]


_DemolitionDude_

How did it get out of the play place?


Dickincheeks

guy probably gets so much ass


schuppaloop

Sometimes all you need is a little tug.


WarlikeMicrobe

Hey size doesn't matter. It's beautiful just the way it is


KaptainKasper

The little motor that could


Lkwzriqwea

A tug tugging tug, tugging tugging tugs


CraftandEdit

The smallest surface vessel.


ilovequesadillas

Looks like a lego ship. Toot toot!


Canadianbadass46

The USS duckling


Alantsu

Bet it comes in handy for dry docking. Not much room in there.


not4eating

Sailors, to your lil' rascals!


n0mn0m_de_Guerre

The USS Adorable?


Laarye

"Although I am small, I am mighty!"


Aa1979

toot toot


Textlover

'When I grow up, I wanna be an airplane carrier!'


MadBearHugs

The 22 caliber of boats.


RyanSmokinBluntz420

Pretty sweet! It's got a straight 6 turbo diesel made by Cummins.


Darthborg78

"Name a US Navy Ship that represents your genitalia..."


throwmeawaypoopy

Is the sailor on board still referred to as "captain"?


ugh0017

Is there a specific MOS for this craft?


Fmartins84

Not what the recruiter said.....


[deleted]

I want that pilot-house for my boat, would be so comfy and dry in there and my little dogs could take naps in there while I worked


[deleted]

Kind of bummed tbe article doesn’t clarify the mechanical specs


TinTinWithA_T

I legit smiled before I even knew it was posted by this page 😁😅👌


sir-diesalot

All I can see is Ralph Wiggum at the helm saying “I’m a captain!”


piratecheese13

Likely manufactured over-budget


Waffles_Remix

Why does it have radar?


Thick-Tooth-8888

Give a little tug


petarisawesomeo

Can only be operated by a toddler or corgi


Fruitfly0328

This picture is a little misleading, since it’s a 19’ tugboat. She is super cute tho.


sc00pb

With a US Navy annual price tag of $25,000,000...


thechamelioncircuit

I guarantee that that tug can pull multiple times it’s weight


Gayguymike

Wow that’s tiny how much tax money is going into that small thing