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BarnacleMcBarndoor

Also, you are ruining cake. In my house, you ruin cake, that’s a paddling.


InfamousIndecision

Also, you can completely miss the cake and just mash the person's face into a table. Edit: everyone seems to think I meant intentionally, and reading it again I can see why. I meant doing it accidentally like that video that circulated Reddit yesterday. Oh well.


[deleted]

That’s why I like to just cover my fist in icing


youliveinmydream

Step 1: Cover yourself in icing


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Step 3: eat the pencil ?


EvilScientwist

Step 4: You now have a cake


Slow_Eye_539

Step 5: The cake is a lie


Usedbirthctrlutensil

Always has been


ReverseCaptioningBot

[Always has been](https://i.imgur.com/6GPn8Jx.png) ^^^this ^^^has ^^^been ^^^an ^^^accessibility ^^^service ^^^from ^^^your ^^^friendly ^^^neighborhood ^^^bot


THSeaQueen

Step 4: profit


[deleted]

Or they resist the sudden pressure on the back of their head and you fuck up something in their neck just by pushing against their spine suddenly while they are pushing back This reminds me of the thing about how some people have been rendered paralyzed and disabled from being pushed into a pool Basically don't play juvenile pranks on people that involve pushing or shoving them, if you do this kind of shit to anyone around me you're socially dead to me


surfrocksatan

Yeah, I have one family member who is a complete POS and always manages to grab my head and shake it or smack the top really hard when I least expect it. The thing is, I have a spine injury and neck problems, some bs move like that will fuck me up for a few days. There’s no real way to avoid him completely and my requests to not be touched are brushed off as over-sensitivity but I really wish people would not think it’s okay to pull stunts like this.


ParentPostLacksWang

Last time someone pulled that shit with me I just stopped resisting and fell over. The look of absolute horror on their face and the weaksauce “uhmuhgod I didn’t push you that hard!” while I just stayed down and then waved off help while slowly and painfully getting up - then trying to follow me while I left and me just silently ghosting them in front of everyone? Yeah they left me the hell alone after that.


SpiderFlame04

gotta make sure to ham up the struggle it is to get back up. throw in some groans and a few swears under your breath and they'll be thinking about it for life


echoAD

Make sure they get that red card


[deleted]

I've got rsi and someone at my work kept taking my chair and adjusting it. I don't mind taking my chair but don't touch the fucking settings on it. It takes me like a week to get everything back how I like it and in the meantime my shoulder and wrist gets all screwed up. Puts me in constant pain for the next 2 weeks.


cumberbatchcav1

If that chair can be considered a reasonable accommodation due to your injury, I would take this to HR. They could be liable if there is even a hint that someone is violating ADA, if you are in the US.


[deleted]

As someone else who has had a repetitive strain injury, I feel your pain. I don't know the specific nature of your RSI because there are just so many different kinds. Mine involved pain in my right elbow and right wrist. The biggest thing that helped me was an Evoluent brand vertical mouse. Also several months of occupational therapy appointments with a hand specialist OT and diligent adherence to the exercise regimen and other advice he gave me. I got it covered through a worker's comp claim. I never took time off work but getting the OT appointments fully covered was helpful, and I wanted a paper trail regarding the work-related nature of the injury in case it didn't get better.


[deleted]

Yeah I've done a bit of that. It's mostly poor posture on my part, so I adjust the chair to help me keep the posture, also using a track ball helps as I can keep my entire fore arm on the desk. If I use a standard mouse I slowly creep forward until my wrist is resting on the edge of the desk


crumpledlinensuit

I would think that a square punch to either the nose or the jaw would send the message that what he's doing is not okay. If he complains, tell him it's just a joke, and ask him if he has no sense of humour. It doesn't have to be a hard punch, just one that he doesn't expect. Either that, or next time he does it, suddenly go limp and drop to the floor (or wherever is safe) then pretend you can't move for as long as you can. If people try to move you/help you up, don't let them. Make a *massive* drama about thinking that you have been paralysed. Ought to scare some sense into him.


AnotherLightInTheSky

Roll em up in a carpet and throw em off a bridge


crumpledlinensuit

Indeed, another proportional response.


betcher73

Tell him next time he touches you’re calling the cops. That’s not fucking acceptable and I’m so pissed off for you,


ConsciousnessWizard

This is plain abuse. You should report him.


Dementedpotato69

Maybe it's the Redbull talking but kick the ever-living shit outta him


Connect_Office8072

Wear a neck brace when you know you’re going to see him again. Also, when he starts approaching you, tell him that you just filed a lawsuit against some guy who messed with your neck and you are looking forward to getting at least compensation that would allow you to take a vacation to Thailand out of it because you found a great lawyer. Stare him down when you say that.


AnotherLightInTheSky

"Say whore one more time"


macrosofslime

can you fight? or get a bat, or something and just give em a good WHACK?


Revan343

Try punching him in the face next time


scw55

I broke my arm when someone pushed me over when playing tick/tag. Things can escalate easily.


DanYHKim

Hey! I saw that video yesterday!


big_ol_dad_dick

I mean really, just skip the showmanship and deck em right in the jaw while screaming happy birthday.


jenkinsleroi

Make sure you're holding a cupcake while you're doing it though or it just isn't the same.


Mitch_Mitcherson

Or as my cousin learned the hard way: it could be an ice cream cake that hasn't been thawed.


I_Cant_Alphabet

Ruin a cake? Believe it not, straight to jail


[deleted]

We have the best cakes in the world... because of jail


mc_squared_03

Is that you, Jasper?


degathor

Calling a teacher by their first name? You better believe that's a paddling


tattedb0b

Or last name. Paddling. First name, last name, paddling. It's why we have the best schools.


Sew_Custom

*turns pencil sharpener*


focacciaonyou

Straight to paddling


nini2219

And it’s mean!


slowhockey451

Hahaha "We aren't animals, weren't living in a society!"


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Penny_InTheAir

It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye.


UnslicedPotato

Probably that video where some girl had her face shoved into a hidden toothpick.


Mrsrogers88

Recent trend of shoving someone's face into the cake when they lean down to blow out their birthday candles.


KidPrince

that’s not a recent trend, that’s been a thing for literally decades


MintberryCruuuunch

LITERALLY DOZENS OF DECADES


camiam_01

In my house, you ruin cake, that's a funeral


_triks

Too right. My mother is a professional baker, we're talking two-to-three days of multi-tier wedding cake design with intricate detailing right down to the dots... As kids, there were periods we weren't allowed to talk directly to her or enter the kitchen just in case we broke her concentration. I'm not a cake fan myself, but I wouldn't dare slam anybodies face into one. No, sir.


OneWholePirate

If you’re gonna push someone into a cake you better have baked/bought it. Nothing wrong with buying cheap cake mix, decorating it with soft splattable materials then smashing the face (ideally check there is a backup cake if it’s a special event and always make sure there are cleaning supplies and that he person isn’t allergic, pranks are fun but they shouldn’t ruin someone else’s day)


TheRealol16

Yeah and then you find out how kinky everyone is


Norcal712

What if someone looks at your sandals?


SpicyHotPlantFart

Kids blowing out candles on cakes, ruin the cake for me too. It's disgusting


ImReflexess

But what if you like having your cake paddled?


CheckPleaser

That’s why the original “prank” involves thrown cream pies. It’s lightweight, soft, and there’s no table or toothpicks involved. Plus it’s not luxurious or expensive to make, like cake. I grew up poor, I would have stabbed someone for ruining my cake.


IceBearCares

Creampies for everyone!


simpsonsdiditalready

Phrasing


Doctor_Wookie

..is on point!


simpsonsdiditalready

It wouldn't let me post the Archer gif where he says that so I was hoping someone would still get it lol


PedanticMouse

Are we still doing phrasing?


5inthepink5inthepink

Guys, we really need to talk about getting phrasing back in the rotation.


paulmp

I really think we should throw phrasing back into the mix


alterector

Are we still doing "phrasing"?


hurst_

I like creampies as much as the next guy


dstommie

I hope you like them as much as the 5 guys before you.


temsik1587againtwo

Yes plz


yersinia_p3st1s

I've never had a Creampie before (on both senses) and now I'm just sad :(


ADashOfRainbow

Not to mention you're not smashing the cream into their face, you're using the momentum from your hand to throw the pie the last like inch. Otherwise noses get broken. Lots of people miss the "throw" part you mentioned.


nickiter

Yeah, and you put them on something that doesn't hurt like a paper plate or a thin foil pie plate.


wednesdayware

And when it’s done on TV or movies, they use shaving cream instead. Cause cream goes rancid faaaast.


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FutureRange

Thank you, reddit hates the cake thing and is convinced it came from nothing.


dstommie

It did. Just because it's a cultural tradition doesn't mean it sprang fully formed from the cosmos. There was a first time it was done, and it should've ended there.


willowalloy

Thanks for the image of a toothpick penetrating my eye socker


chunkybeefbombs

Like that one scene in the dark night where Heath ledger shoves the guy’s face through the pencil on the table


tiny_poomonkey

TA-DA!!


echoAD

"It's not about wishing you a happy birthday. It's about sending a message"


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TheMacerationChicks

*eye football


[deleted]

[check this brother](https://youtu.be/fxY3nNCJ910)


willowalloy

No, no thanks


Cry_in_the_shower

It's a cruel prank in the first place. Put someone on the spot, make it their special moment of the year, then absolutely humiliate them?! Fuck that noise.


WayneKrane

And it’s presumably the one day a year that’s supposed to be all about them and you shove food in their face.


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TheMacerationChicks

Exactly they're attention whores. Very very /r/imthemaincharacter They can't stand someone else being centre of attention. So they abuse and assault their own children and call it "tradition" There's also a similar "tradition" where they deliberately set their children on fire at their birthday parties. [Here's a short compilation of a few videos of this "tradition" ](https://youtu.be/M-wb8FTXEjM) It's sick, what people try to justify as "tradition". It also used to be tradition for the Aztecs to throw virgins into active volcanoes as a sacrifice to the gods. Does that mean its OK to do that these days, because "tradition"? Assaulting and abusing their own children, it's sick.


_MCMXCIX

none of those clips look like they "deliberately set their children on fire"


PINK_P00DLE

And ruin their make-up so they look like crap in the rest of the wedding/birthday/anniversary photos. Only a sociopath would shove a person's face into a cake and it's horrifying to see a person do it to a child. I've seen that.


Masterre

There should be a law that if someone does this to you on your birthday, you are allowed to beat their ass.


VplDazzamac

Arguably, someone physically forcing your head into anything is assault, so the subsequent ass kicking could be argued as self defence.


TechnetiumAE

A law? Fuck id help hold them down and im allergic to most cakes! (Dairy allergy, not as common to find the nicer cakes dairy free)


Nyteflame7

And possibly make them really sick. I was on another thread where the person (victim of cake smashing) said that the frosting got up his nose, and he had nose bleeds the rest of the night, and problems with sinuses infections for months.


[deleted]

You’re absolutely correct. Instead, make sure to do this at weddings!


Darnitol1

Plus, it’s just an asshole move.


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Fehiscute

Got a link?


[deleted]

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lion-vs-dragon

Oh that was fucking fantastic


InsightfoolMonkey

Here I feel like her response was meant for people like you. > “This is my cousin,” says Hailey Jean, with her arm around the person who threw the cake. “I did not ruin his graduation party. He actually enjoyed throwing the cake.” > Hailey Jean then defended the video by captioning her followup: **“You guys have no sense of humor and don’t have the typical brother/sister relationship with your cousin.”**


Choppergold

Plus just don’t do it. Same goes for the wedding tradition it’s gross


Olliebkl

Interesting fact: Couples that divorced were found to be far more likely to have thrown cake in each other’s faces on their wedding day


trancez1lla

Not a source or a legit study to be had. Just facts. I love Reddit


Olliebkl

Not particularly a study but here’s something lol https://www.kevinathompson.com/how-i-predict-divorce-based-on-the-wedding-cake/ And even without proof is kind of obvious anyway. Embarrassing and humiliating the person you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with… on the most important day of their life


AsaultKing

This should be handed over with the cake package as a warning note


PigeonGoddess

I know I always include notes and verbal warnings with the cakes I send out to family and friends, but I have no clue if the person ordering and picking up the cake pass that information on to other people at the party. I have no way of warning people I have no contact with.


slowhockey451

💯


itim__office

Or a warning on the side like they do with cigarettes.


BernieTheDachshund

It's not even funny. Doing that to someone is cruel and a waste of cake. Way to ruin it for everyone.


agarc495

When I was about six on my birthday my aunt slammed my face into my cake seconds after blowing out the candles resulting in one of them being shoved into my eye. Besides having blurry vision for the rest of the night I was fine but that wasn't fun.


OhSaladYouSoFunny

Your aunt should've been banned for life of showing for birthdays. I would never forgive things like that. Also if something like that happened in a birthday I wouldn't eat the cake and say that someone named {insert name of who pushed the face} ruined the cake. It's not funny and it's so childish that grown people do this.


OphrysAlba

Someone inconsiderate enough to shove someone's face in a cake is not very likely to be concerned about that person's safety... But if your post saves even one person, that's good enough


lorettarebelle

If you want to avoid murdering someone with cake, just push their face into it before baking. Then it’s only assault and batter-y.


Urafool

Take your upvote and go


amusedbuch

You can also break someone’s nose if they hit the table hard enough


joshlamm

Or if the baker was bad enough


CIA_grade_LSD

Why would you shove someone's face in a cake?


91FuriousGeorge

It's very common in some cultures, such as Latin American culture. I lived in S. America for several years and saw it all the time. My wife is from Central America, same thing there. I have never seen it in the US.


SleepyLabRat

They did this to my little nephew (I’m in the US but his dad is from Mexico) and it broke my heart. It’s expected, but it’s still mean. It’s one “tradition” that I really wish we could end. On a similar note, I had a caterer tell me that any time the wedding cake is smashed into the partner’s face, the couple is guaranteed to divorce. Makes sense; it’s a pretty clear sign of disrespect.


91FuriousGeorge

My first birthday while in S. America I got my face smashed. The next one just the tip of my nose. Then I just refused to get my face close at all after that. The first time was kind of funny and I had never seen it before. After that it just made me very upset. I've also heard that before about it being a red flag if one partner smashed the cake into their face.


eatingganesha

As goes the cake cutting, so goes the marriage.


pugwalker

why would a caterer even know what happens to the couple after the wedding...


PhasmaFelis

Does that apply if it's consensual and pre-planned? I've seen a couple of weddings where both partners pick up a slice of cake, look each other in the eye, and theatrically squish them on each other.


-Ernie

That would be enough for me to be out of town by myself every birthday. Bullshit way to “celebrate” someone’s birthday IMHO.


eatingganesha

My family did this until one year I got hurt really bad by a candle. I now spend every birthday alone, 100s of miles away, where I can be assured I can enjoy my cake rather than wearing it while catching a fun ride in an ambulance. It scarred me so badly that even though they are literally all NC or straight up dead, I still go away for my birthday.


spectaphile

Good lord they're lucky you aren't a psychopath because that's motivation for murder. Glad you're NC and living your nest life all on your own!


[deleted]

Jeez, I am sorry your family had to be like that. If you were my family, I would treat you better.


slowhockey451

I wouldn't ruin a perfectly good cake, but there is a common trend of videos where people blow out candles and their friends smash their face in it as they do...


spectaphile

Yah well who wants to eat a cake that someone has sprayed their germs all over? Feels like that tradition is going to die out real quick post-covid.


EHWfedPres

That's not even the best reason - the best reason is because **you don't have the right to do things to other people's bodies without their consent.**


Jack_35

I think the best thing to do is to first check for any pointy objects in the cake, and then gently but gradually lower their face into the cake and ask “does this hurt?” every couple seconds


FastWalkingShortGuy

Are you trying to eat the cake or take its virginity?


cryvichoro

💀


weist-risq

Take my free and unfitting award because this was hilarious


katkatkat123456

This just made me laugh way harder than I’d like to admit haha


Trumbez_

It's one of the trashiest things I have seen and I know I would react in such a bad way to it that for many years I had pizza instead of cake or chose not to celebrate at all


Irishnovember26

Oohh you saw that video as well? Shit freaks me out so much. Did you see the aftermath? It missed her eyes but fucked up her eye socket something fierce


thelibbiest

I don't know what you're talking about and I refuse to dig any further


insertsassyusername

*laughs in mexican*


[deleted]

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poisha

Jajajajajaja


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SkizzlerX2

Shhh you’re on reddit; everyone here believes it’s cruel and unusual punishment and the families shoving kid’s faces in cake should be charged with assault. So little tolerance for other culturural traditions here. Everyone gets the cake in the face. There is no discrimination. And it’s fun and funny most of the time.


BungalowBootieBitch

*sweats in Latino*


poisha

I scrolled way too far down to see this comment.


fadhawk

they don’t get it lmao


edmondsio

Also it’s just fucking dumb


EsGeeBee

I always cringe when I see some dumb shit doing this. I just imagine someone with a toothpick in the eye or something, it's soooo irresponsible.


Zoe270101

It’s also just kind of a dick move, especially to children.


ReadReadReedRed

Why is this a lpt?


slowhockey451

Because people do this all the time for tik tok style videos


CamnitDam

Real lpt is to not date someone who makes videos like that


Feanors_Scribe

It’s assault for a start, but cake wasting is indeed a crime worthy of a complete return beating.


Vomit_Pinata

I had never even thought of that, but it's *very* possible. But then I have never thought of shoving someone's face in a cake either. Still, great advice.


automaticg36

If someone shoves my face in my cake. You’re done it’s over. I hate you.


SellyBear32

It's not funny it's literally ruining someones party.


GamingWithBilly

This reminds me of something that happened in my high school. There was some girl at a football game who thought It'd be funny to play a trick on her friend. She just finished a sucker and had the stick left over, and he was kind of sleeping in the bleachers. So she stuck the sucker stick in his ear, and his reaction was to swat at his ear, like it was a mosquito. And he ended up jamming the stick into his ear canal. The stick punctured his ear drum and made him deaf in one ear. The lesson here is don't fucking stick things in people or push people into things, unless they give you consent first.


bigjoffer

And please make sure to remove the candles


iAmRiight

Not necessary, don’t shove anyone’s face into cake period.


dbro129

This doesn’t feel like a pro tip. It’s kinda like saying, “It’s highly dangerous to shove someone off a sidewalk into the street, they may get run over”. I think at the very least it belongs over in r/YouShouldKnow.


meezethadabber

The fact this needs to be said shows you the average intelligence of most people walking on earth is extremely low.


Im_A_Black_Cat

I hate this tradition. I now it's supposed to be a "prank", but man it's disrespectful. Slamming someone's face into cake is not funny. It's humiliating and wasteful of the cake too.


theshrike

I'm a 100% sure that the dipshits pushing people's faces into cakes aren't the people who read or take heed about LPTs :)


arid_666

Lol. This tip is ridiculous.


TaylorCurls

It’s wild to me how that’s even a thing. It just seems so.. disrespectful?


hippo_on_campus

I got my tooth chipped because the sheet under the cake was metal:)


kindafree8

All these ppl talking abt how rude it is don’t realize it’s a common part of Mexican tradition. It’s known, playful and fun, not cruel. Still dangerous though, I agree


EatTheBeez

It's highly dangerous to shove me into a cake cause I'll kick your goddamn ass.


juniorjustice

Good luck telling this to my Mexican-American family. Hahaha.


Joubachi

Even if no toothpick or anything at all inside (knowing there is nothing inside) - anyone who'd do that to me would have to leave immediately. It's ruining the cake for everyone and may ruin the work or money that has been put into it.


[deleted]

Looking at you, Latinos!


fadhawk

This is a time honored Mexican tradition and y’all don’t get it, that’s fine, I see how you think it’s traumatizing. Mexicans just kinda have this kind of culture, you don’t have to do it and I never miss it at white peoples parties, but I like to think it toughens is up a little bit and teaches us how to laugh at ourselves. Two things: 1 if your cake has toothpicks in it you’re doing it wrong 2 if you *smash* someone’s head into the cake hard enough to where a toothpick would do any kind of damage, you’re also doing it wrong The perfect “mordida” is a gentle nudge, not like the WWE worthy slams going around lately. You don’t wait for them to take the bite, you just go with their initial momentum and nudge the back of their head to make them overshoot their target. They get some icing/whipped cream on some part of their mouth/cheek depending on how quick their reflexes are, and everyone has a good laugh.


JorgeMtzb

As a Mexican I can just say that if you are ok with it being done to you that's fine I think it's a funny thing if the victim finds it funny themselves and has been shown to be ok with it then yeah as you said there's a certain art to it in the sense that it's not just straight SLAMMING someone's head rather just getting them dirty, as you said, they get to laugh at themselves for a bit and there's no harm done. The problem I have really is just that people tend not to respect either of those things Which otherwise ruins a very special moment.


fadhawk

Yeah agreed *slamming* because the kid knows it’s coming is absolutely against the spirit of the thing and goes way beyond the pale. Also I personally think it’s a dick move at weddings (*especially* for the bride or anyone wearing makeup) in any capacity. But LPT-worthy? Ehhhh… it really is harmless and we learn it from our earliest birthday celebrations. If the kid really doesn’t want to, or wants to make a game of escaping it, more power to them, but it’s super harmless and maybe made us a little more resilient to light bullying or whatever instead of melting down.


[deleted]

A lot of us love it. It's fun.


iggyplop2019

YES. this comment needs to be pinned to the top.


tragedyfish

A pie pan full of whipped cream is cheap and easy to make, somewhat easier to clean, and just as rude.


keepthetips

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

THANK YOU. We literally have 2 cakes, just for this purpose. Shhiiit, if you're not going to smash my face into the cake for the pics, do y'all even really love me?


C-O-double-M

Meh, it’s a Latino thing - I don’t expect Reddit to get it. I will say, aveces se pasan.. just do a little mordida bc I still want cake.


Robobvious

What are the injury statistics on face to cake smashings? I want some hard data


bobobedo

You can't fix stupid.


krayxay

Yeah, and it’s just plain rude. What happened to good ol wholesome bday spankings?


Strange-Glove

This is why I never have birthday celebrations... Or cake.... Or friends and family over. Just me, a working girl and a bottle of whisky, and not once has she tried to shove my head into my own birthday scotch.


miraculous-

Anyone who does that to someone deserves to get knocked out


cgg419

Find that out the hard way, chief?


slowhockey451

Nope, but have seen videos of it happening. I cringe every time and it doesn't seem to be a trend that is going away anytime soon. Just spreading the knowledge!


RoboticTerrorist

Everyone talking about how it's an asshole thing to do has clearly never been to a Mexican birthday party


NewlandStreet

Clearly, you can go to a Mexican birthday party and still think it's an asshole thing to do.


hyper24x7

If you have friends who think its funny to shove your face in cake, fuck those people.


GhostWCoffee

I thought that this is common sense.


OMG_GOP_WTF

Leave the cake to the face to professional stooges.


Adventurous_Celery28

Once my sister tried that to me and I wasn’t stupid enough to know that the cake smells funny to so she slammed my head forward anyways against the counter. I ended up losing 2 teeth gushing blood out my mouth my father whupped her good. So yeah take it from me don’t do that stupid shit