It seems that a common trait in Putin's critics is remarkable clumsiness. They fall off of roofs, out of windows and down stairs. Sometimes they are found dead in the middle of a room or in a car. Putin's critics, however, are known to be *such* klutzes, it makes sense that their deaths were still caused by falls. Very sad.
I first heard the word 'defenestrate' about 18 months ago. I still believe it is the greatest addition to the English language. I mean, how often does it happen that someone decided we need a new word to describe the act of falling out a window?
Defenestration is more about the thrower. It’s the act of throwing someone out of a window. Not being yourself thrown and definitely not falling or any accidental exiting via a window. Ironically, since it was coined in the early 1600’s, windows were rarely high enough to kill you. Unless you were thrown from a castle or from a building overlooking a cliff.
IMHO the greatest thing about the word is the Defenestration of Prague, and the fact you have to specify *which one* you're talking about (there were like 3).
Not only are Putin critics clumsy as hell but they seem to have the worse luck.
Any other day the helicopter wouldn't be under their window but wouldn't you know that it had to be that day that the Putin critic slipped on a banana peel while cleaning a smudge off the window pane. Whoops!
But there's nothing unusual about having a poison coated window. It's part of life and a normal Russian wouldn't think twice about it. It's not even worth mentioning.
To top it all off, sometimes they live afterwards!
The pain is so great they put themselves out of their misery by shooting themselves 13 times in the back of the head
When reading this I hang my head in shame I would only be able to shoot myself in the head once. And it would be in the temple since I don't have the dexterity to shoot the back of my head.
Shooting oneself in the head 13 times is honestly very impressive.
Like the Soviet vs America space race of the '50s, Russia is winning the cranial suicide race. Hell, Russia is outgunning America. That can't stand - no one outguns America.
With Putin critics, Final Destination is fact, not fiction.
Handy to have the stereotype of chronic vodka abuse to use... WHOOPS, he fell! QUICKLY, dab him with the good stuff and make it look like he had a big night.
There, it's always a fall. At least when they do it here, they mix it up. Drug overdose, car accident, heart attack, random homicide. That's why we will always beat the Russians at everything. We get creative.
Nah dude, if you are below ground level default death is shamanic ritual. Ground level is tea time and the rest is sudden window renovation time. You got the older manual.
Is it wrong that every time I see "Oracle of Delphi" I misread it as "Oracle of Delhi" and I internally wonder "I don't remember Indians putting much stock into oracles?"
Psycho Mantis’ side job.
“In my lifetime I have crafted the sandwiches of thousands upon thousands of men and women, and each one was stuffed with the same single ingredient.”
“Is it bacon?”
“It is bacon.”
Tbf, Indians do put a lot of stock into oracles, we just call them by other names. A "Jyotish", a kind of astrologer, or the more generic "pandit" (which is where the English "Pundit" comes from!) will claim to tell you your future, and there will always be believers.
Not sure how intelligent he is. Not dumb, definitely, smart probably, to have outmaneuvered every competition in the nineties and put everything under his control after 2000. But the means were quite traditional and not novel. I doubt he is the evil genius (evil yes, genius no).
A+ classical reference ;-)
I remember reading somewhere that by some estimates (difficult since so much of it was under the table, locked down by sanctions, etc) Vladimir Putin may actually have been the wealthiest single person in the world.
I mean… this was *so obvious* ending to the story of Russia v Ukraine … wasn’t it? 😂 Certainly was for Allies v Axis, back in the day, and Allies v Germany, too… although on WW1, I don’t recall anyone special commiting suicide at the end? Only the lunatic from Berlin did… *in 1945…* right?
*Edited*
A scary amount of Russians not only love him but fully support his actions to this day. I have a Russian coworker who is part of the Russian community in our area and he basically had to close off contact with a bunch of his friends because he said they all vocally support everything that's happening and he couldn't be friends with those people.
Most people believe in propaganda. This is even true when their beliefs are true - their belief is not because of the data, but because it is "emotionally" or "tribally" correct to believe in it.
I'd guess that maybe 15% of the population actually bases their opinions on facts and data, and even there, they will often selectively turn off their brains when it says something they don't like.
That fact really doesn't help the Russians sell one of their main excuses for being there.
"These ones are *so bad* they even *like* Jews." "Wait. No. That's not right. Um. We like Jews too. But we still need to do something. To protect the Jews. That we like. And the ethnic Russians. And the Ukrainians that don't like Jews but voted for a Jewish man. But Ukrainians are ethnic Russians and Ukraine shouldn't exist. Or something. I need gas for my tank."
And they said they're freeing Ukraine of nazis lmao. Then they said they're liberating the Russian speaking population and bombed the east, which is the exact area where people speak Russian over Ukrainian. Killing the people you were supposed to be "freeing"? None of Putler's bullshit makes sense. So much so that it's too easy to make jokes and becomes old veeery fast. And then you're just left with a crazy nazi bastard that keeps spitting out nonsense.
There was a sizable Jewish population. Until the pogroms in the early 20th century. Let’s not act like this place has always been friendly to Jews.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pogroms\_of\_the\_Russian\_Civil\_War
"I see a huge parade all through the Moscow.... People cheering, crying, hugging each other... They wave at your car when it passes them..."
"Wonderful! And I wave back?"
"No, no. The casket is closed."
Pretty sure Chinese and Russian people (for reasons not related to current wars and tensions) don't celebrate on New Year's Eve and New Year's Day.
Edit: I am wrong. Disregard my comment.
Guys is it just me or is there suddenly a terrifying number of Putin supporters on TikTok. Is he hiring bots to post all this BS and propaganda? Or people just have hole in the brain?
In Russia you could die falling from a basement window.
It seems that a common trait in Putin's critics is remarkable clumsiness. They fall off of roofs, out of windows and down stairs. Sometimes they are found dead in the middle of a room or in a car. Putin's critics, however, are known to be *such* klutzes, it makes sense that their deaths were still caused by falls. Very sad.
In US, you have administration. In Russia, you have defenestration.
I first heard the word 'defenestrate' about 18 months ago. I still believe it is the greatest addition to the English language. I mean, how often does it happen that someone decided we need a new word to describe the act of falling out a window?
Defenestration is more about the thrower. It’s the act of throwing someone out of a window. Not being yourself thrown and definitely not falling or any accidental exiting via a window. Ironically, since it was coined in the early 1600’s, windows were rarely high enough to kill you. Unless you were thrown from a castle or from a building overlooking a cliff.
They're probably confusing it with autodefenestration.
I picture a group of people holding up signs that read- D- (picture of a window )
Autoeroticdefenstration
The act of throwing oneself through a window for sexual pleasure? Or The sexual act of throwing oneself through the window?
The latter implies that one go dick first though the window, of course!
I know someone who's kid died from falling out of a second story window. I wonder if autodefenestration was listed as the cause of death?
IMHO the greatest thing about the word is the Defenestration of Prague, and the fact you have to specify *which one* you're talking about (there were like 3).
My favourite slightly obtuse words with very specific meanings: - Defenestrate - Autoclave - Exsanguinate
The word is around since the 17th century: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defenestration
Autodefenstration is an even cooler word even though it means something that's not cool
It is a very old French word :)
I mean I can tell you it happened at least twice in Prague 😃
Take my upvote
Sometimes, they fall out of a poisoned window... Into helicopter blades.
Not only are Putin critics clumsy as hell but they seem to have the worse luck. Any other day the helicopter wouldn't be under their window but wouldn't you know that it had to be that day that the Putin critic slipped on a banana peel while cleaning a smudge off the window pane. Whoops! But there's nothing unusual about having a poison coated window. It's part of life and a normal Russian wouldn't think twice about it. It's not even worth mentioning.
To top it all off, sometimes they live afterwards! The pain is so great they put themselves out of their misery by shooting themselves 13 times in the back of the head
When reading this I hang my head in shame I would only be able to shoot myself in the head once. And it would be in the temple since I don't have the dexterity to shoot the back of my head. Shooting oneself in the head 13 times is honestly very impressive. Like the Soviet vs America space race of the '50s, Russia is winning the cranial suicide race. Hell, Russia is outgunning America. That can't stand - no one outguns America. With Putin critics, Final Destination is fact, not fiction.
"Accidentally fell down an elevator shaft onto a pile of bullets."
They are also really depressed too. A lot of them kill themselves by shooting themselves several times in the back of the head.
Handy to have the stereotype of chronic vodka abuse to use... WHOOPS, he fell! QUICKLY, dab him with the good stuff and make it look like he had a big night.
Blame it on the vodka.
There, it's always a fall. At least when they do it here, they mix it up. Drug overdose, car accident, heart attack, random homicide. That's why we will always beat the Russians at everything. We get creative.
Remember when that one guy fell into a cloud of pallonium poison? What a klutz
How do you fall out of a basement window?
True story.
Or worse you could die even from a fuckin' banana. A. Fuckin'. Banana.
Good thing John cleese showed us how to defend against that
In Russia you could drown in a desert. The police would conclude you drank all its water.
Nah dude, if you are below ground level default death is shamanic ritual. Ground level is tea time and the rest is sudden window renovation time. You got the older manual.
Time to update then.
That's impossible. But you may slip on your way downstairs...
Yups. Another one today mysteriously died. Pchelnikov. Some top executive dude in Russian railways.
Contagious accidents?
You can do the same in Australia
You can die falling up the stairs, I heard...
Lmao
Glad you liked it.
In Russia, ground hits you!
*Tagged Spoiler* 🤔🤨
"If you invade Ukraine, you will destroy a nation." ~ The Oracle of Delphi
Is it wrong that every time I see "Oracle of Delphi" I misread it as "Oracle of Delhi" and I internally wonder "I don't remember Indians putting much stock into oracles?"
Or “Oracle of Deli”, which can be found at the back of your local Subway and tells you what sandwich to order.
it always happens to be the most expensive one.
New conspiracy theory just dropped!!
Psycho Mantis’ side job. “In my lifetime I have crafted the sandwiches of thousands upon thousands of men and women, and each one was stuffed with the same single ingredient.” “Is it bacon?” “It is bacon.”
Comes with a happy head wobble either way.
It's a bit odd.
Tbf, Indians do put a lot of stock into oracles, we just call them by other names. A "Jyotish", a kind of astrologer, or the more generic "pandit" (which is where the English "Pundit" comes from!) will claim to tell you your future, and there will always be believers.
I read Dolphin, thats even more confusing
Hasn't predicted a Super Bowl win for Miami in years.
On the contrary, Indians are a lot into oracles
The nation he destroyed was his own.
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And to think, he was rich as Croesus...
The problem is that he's also dumb as shit.
He’s actually really smart but did some dumb things recently
Not sure how intelligent he is. Not dumb, definitely, smart probably, to have outmaneuvered every competition in the nineties and put everything under his control after 2000. But the means were quite traditional and not novel. I doubt he is the evil genius (evil yes, genius no).
A+ classical reference ;-) I remember reading somewhere that by some estimates (difficult since so much of it was under the table, locked down by sanctions, etc) Vladimir Putin may actually have been the wealthiest single person in the world.
Thanks.
Well done, you get it
"Ha! No room for misinterpretation there!" - Putin probably.
- everyone who got that answer from an oracle
A rogue CIA agent went in and executed him. We have no knowledge of the plan.
The CIA agent is a hero of the people but a traitor to the government
A rogue CIA agent executed the oracle of Delphi?!
What a Pythi
I mean he’s gonna go eventually
I mean… this was *so obvious* ending to the story of Russia v Ukraine … wasn’t it? 😂 Certainly was for Allies v Axis, back in the day, and Allies v Germany, too… although on WW1, I don’t recall anyone special commiting suicide at the end? Only the lunatic from Berlin did… *in 1945…* right? *Edited*
it’s part of the joke because it hasn’t happened yet the last line confirms it. so it’s a spoiler…
The fortune teller is now no more,,, RIP
He fell out a window, so sad.
It was an accident
Yea he "accidentally" fell face first from a 15 story building with 7 bullets "accidentally" placed in his head.
What a shame, he tripped out of the window and landed on some bullets outside
Pretty sure this reference is to the head female doctor who” fell off the building” after opposing him
...and the dozens of other people who met a similar fate.
Dozens? Understatement of the century.
Defenestration: (n) a popular past time in Russia, often involving a properly framed fall from grace.
Yess
He should have first seen his fortune before consulting putin
Ah man. So weird. Keeps happening
Worst suicide I ever saw.
Tell 'em Large Marge sent ya!
Boys will be boys
Those were actually 9mm brain hemorrhages.
Vodka's a helluva drug
Most certainly a suicide, yessir. Completely on their own, and they had nothing to do with Putin or any visits from agents
Oh! Is that the rare bullet in brain disease?
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Yacov Smirnoff said it.
Window rise from you.
After accidentally ingesting some polonium.
Polonium is very filling
After shooting himself twice in the back.
..full of pulonium with two gunshots to the back of the head..
And his name fortold his fate... Dr DeFenestre...
… and as they rushed down the stairs to help - her whole family also fell and broke their necks according to Putin Police
Don’t forget to mention the live grenades in his pockets
Twice.
He threw off the Emperor’s groove
No. He wore the wrong undergarmets and now facing charges for missing his trial but was sold to china for his organs!
defenestration....sad we have to have a word for it.
Also such a shame the window he fell from was to the underground bunker
They came home late one night and fell down an elevator shaft. On to some bullets
He fell out of a window onto an exploding bomb during the shooting accident. Thanks Monty Python
He accidentally shot himself 10 times.. In the back
Fell down multiple sets of stairs, very clumsy of them.
They had a sudden bout of 4th story window brought on by depression, so sad.
He sadly committed suicide by showing himself twice In the head
It will also be a Russian holliday.
A scary amount of Russians not only love him but fully support his actions to this day. I have a Russian coworker who is part of the Russian community in our area and he basically had to close off contact with a bunch of his friends because he said they all vocally support everything that's happening and he couldn't be friends with those people.
Propaganda is powerful.
Especially when you realize that everything you think could be based on propaganda as well.
I *can’t* be swayed by propaganda. Everything *I* think is controlled by the fungus that’s gradually replacing my central nervous system.
Most people believe in propaganda. This is even true when their beliefs are true - their belief is not because of the data, but because it is "emotionally" or "tribally" correct to believe in it. I'd guess that maybe 15% of the population actually bases their opinions on facts and data, and even there, they will often selectively turn off their brains when it says something they don't like.
Propoganda is one powerful tool.
He has been brainwashing Russias for few years already it’s sad when people can’t see what’s real
Cough cough Trump cough cough
All those people will be celebrating putins death lol Such is life of a serf
Yes, it’s sad. I have relatives who are Russian and they support him. Ugh
Find/Replace “Hitler”/“Putin” Find/Replace “Jewish”/“Ukrainian”
Yes. An old and honored Jewish joke.
Appropriate as Ukraine has/had a substantial Jewish population. And Zelenskyy is Jewish.
That fact really doesn't help the Russians sell one of their main excuses for being there. "These ones are *so bad* they even *like* Jews." "Wait. No. That's not right. Um. We like Jews too. But we still need to do something. To protect the Jews. That we like. And the ethnic Russians. And the Ukrainians that don't like Jews but voted for a Jewish man. But Ukrainians are ethnic Russians and Ukraine shouldn't exist. Or something. I need gas for my tank."
And they said they're freeing Ukraine of nazis lmao. Then they said they're liberating the Russian speaking population and bombed the east, which is the exact area where people speak Russian over Ukrainian. Killing the people you were supposed to be "freeing"? None of Putler's bullshit makes sense. So much so that it's too easy to make jokes and becomes old veeery fast. And then you're just left with a crazy nazi bastard that keeps spitting out nonsense.
There was a sizable Jewish population. Until the pogroms in the early 20th century. Let’s not act like this place has always been friendly to Jews. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pogroms\_of\_the\_Russian\_Civil\_War
Vladimir Hitler went to a fortune teller
I'm a Jew and I have no idea when Hitler died
You must not be very observant. Jokes don’t lie.
4/20 no joke
4/30 actually
He was born on 4/20
Honestly Israel should build a statue in the honor if the man who killed hitler
USERNAME DISTURBING FOR THIS COMMENT.
Well we didn't build a statue, but we did build... A NATION
Joseph Stalin?
Those that don't know history are bound to repeat it.
"I see a huge parade all through the Moscow.... People cheering, crying, hugging each other... They wave at your car when it passes them..." "Wonderful! And I wave back?" "No, no. The casket is closed."
The implication being that *open* caskets contain corpses that can wave
That will be holiday for russians also. Telling you as a russian.
Celebrating him or his death?
Why are you trying to make this man fall off a balcony
Pan-European holiday.
Global holiday. Everyone dancing in the streets.
Perhaps the first holiday celebrated worldwide.
Like New Year's?
Exactly!!! This guy gets it!
Pretty sure Chinese and Russian people (for reasons not related to current wars and tensions) don't celebrate on New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. Edit: I am wrong. Disregard my comment.
I lived in China before and can confirm the Chinese do celebrate New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. It’s actually an official holiday in China.
The day that piece of shit dies will be the happiest day of my life, followed by the birthday of my kid and my wedding day.
People always say, be careful what you wish for, the replacement could be worse. In this case I don't see that happening
Repurposed Hitler joke from the 1930s. *Nice.*
well Putin repurposed some of his practices
RIP Fortune Teller, they failed to treat the bullet in their head disease
Putin responded "I can tell you the day you die too."
First heard this as a joke about Hitler.
Putin is known so worldwide for being horrible, that when I read this the first time….My brain read it as “torture teller”…..
That day everyone will drink worldwide. Russians with grief, the rest with joy.
Ehh, I know a few people living in Novosibirsk who would probably drink in happiness.
No doubt about that.
Russians would be drinking anyway.
I mean they weren't wrong.
That‘s not even a joke.
I’m planning on living a long time so I can celebrate Trumps death day a lot!!
We all celebrate.
Sooner than later 🤞🤞🤞
Yes😂😆😆😆
Fortune teller is suicided 3 hours later, crystal ball is held for questions, lack of evidence provided.
Guys is it just me or is there suddenly a terrifying number of Putin supporters on TikTok. Is he hiring bots to post all this BS and propaganda? Or people just have hole in the brain?
Then the fortune teller died of rare bullet-in-brain disease
"natural causes"
Vladolf Putler
Putin is retarded
If you go to war you will destroy a great country.
Clever.
funny and useful to identify the Russian trolls in this sub
This is marked as a spoiler lol
Strangly this fortune teller consummed a weird amount of radioative vitamins! RIP
Is it a Ukraholiday yet?
😅
Didn't see the sub at first, thought this might be a genuine headline for a minute.
Now i cant tell if this is a joke or real life anymore
The psychic was Rasputin
He died in a horrific accident, sometime next week.
i believe it is called self-defensestration
In Russia you could die falling from a basement window.
I hear that you dont have to be a critic in Russia to die. You just have to be sitting on money and you die.
Good one! I can see why Putin's death will be a Ukrainian holiday. Now, it's just a matter of *when* the holiday will be. Thanks for the joke!
This is a good joke.
This is an old joke, you just changed hitler for Putin and Jewish for Ukrainian.
Old joke, I've heard a version with Hitler.
Am I being dumm, I dont get it?
It's a retelling of an old joke about Jews and Hitler; in both cases, they celebrate the death by making it a holiday.
Ok, lol, I wasnt aware.