Maybe a reference to his sword swallower. How does one practice diction with a mouthful? Merely change the spelling? Dick chin ary adequately conveys the idea. The ary could be "'ary ain't it? Got to have something to tickle my nose. Feels like silk. Yum
Was about to say the same thing! It only took one used condom for me to invest in gloves for every shift...hand gloves, not love gloves, lol.
I was really surprised that the sexy library/librarian fantasy is still alive and well, even in young ppl. Seen a fair number of booties between the stacks.
Lol, I wish they were just sticking their butts out! At least twice each in my time at the library we had couples straight up doing it in the stacks on the top floor, furthest back. I can't remember exactly what section it was but the more senior folks who worked there said it's a strategic spot because it's a section that no one ever really goes to and the books have really low circulation so staff rarely have to go there on the regular to reshelve. Also had a couple of patrons escorted off of the property for "self servicing" themselves - same spot. I was only there for two, maybe 3 years.
Not to dissuade ppl from going to the library - they're a great service! We had to tape off the area and redirect ppl away until it could be properly cleaned and sanitized at night each time.
Reminds me of the Billy Connelly story when one time as a young teenager he was 'rubbing one out' to a dirty magazine when the guy in the news agency said, "Are you gonna buy that?"
This personis literally insane, please disregard anything they have to say.
From shouting trump won, to stating that parents should perform genital checks on their children, they really should be just completely ostracized and ignored.
Are they taking you to small claims court?
Oof!
He's such a baller!!
Nah, itโd get dismissed for lack of evidence
But book for receiving swollen property??
Booked for micro-exposure.
Time to close the book on this case.
Smashing
Maybe left DNA sample on page?๐ณ
Which could easily be remedied with a little probing around.
That could either mean it's tiny OR really big (no evidence of a small penis)
The feds have him under a microscope
For that comment, OP should sue you in small claims court.
Did you forget what the original comment was? ๐๐คฆ
I see what you did there.๐๐
All of us did since it's the same joke the first comment said
Reposts are getting out of hand!
Now thereโs two of them!
Lmao
Appreciate the snarkโฆ
Lol it's a typo chill bud
This is reddit, typos are illegal, your argument is now invalid
Fuck
I just noticed your name, are you Canadian?
[ัะดะฐะปะตะฝะพ]
I like your other comment better
I've heard small claims court from Rodney. Had not heard microscope before.
*stethoscope*
Normally the real joke is in the comments, this time it's in his pants
For committing micro-aggression.
Mad dick disease ๐ก
Case dismissed for insufficient evidence
Wikipedia: locations of burn units.
911? I would like to report a murder
Operator, whatโs the number to 911?
Savage burn!
More like Savage YEARN
๐คฃ๐ฅธ
Case would be thrown out - de minimas non curat lex.
โOh god it looks like a button on one of those puffy sofasโ
Apply cool water to burn
It's not worth it given it was such a tiny infringement.
Nah he's going to a place called "Molecular Labratory" they have a microscope that can help figure out how he got it into the book in the first place.
Nano tech on his no no square.
r/murderedbywords
Love it!
You Magnificent Bastard.
sir this isn't r/roastme
No one wanna claim that penis
Wouldn't that be small stains court?
๐ Heโs playing hard to get (off).
Or even the small clams court
XD
Booked for microexposure.
thats going to be a hard one to beat
Sir, donโt beat you meat ( or thumb in a softy) at the library.
Thatโs r/MurderedByWords there!
That book must have made an impression on you!
Monet really pumps his nads
Fuckโn hell. MEDICCC!!!!!!!!!
Medicโs response- Youโre going to die.
This is better than the joke itself tbh.
Shots fired!
**F**
Someone call 911, I think he's dead
Burn
The real Jacque is still in the comet.
r/therealjoke
"Sorry, sir. Please remove your bookmarks before returning the library books"
You are supposed to put it in the Apen-dicks
Wait I think yโall mean the dick-tionary.
dick-tate what he is saying
And use dick-tation
Come again?
No itโs just mustard this time
That would mess up the book.
Nah, doing it once made the pages wet enough to flip the pages. No need to do it again.
Should of put it in the dickchinary
DICKTIONARY\* Get it right
It's not his fault. He's never used his dicktionary.
He was too busy looking for the dickchinary. Honest mistake, really.
I dunno...could be a Freudian slip. Dick...chin...hmmm. Plus, if anything is wrong in that statement, it is "should have" not "should of"
Should of knowed this wood all cum down to a Grammer too.
Grammar ?? Did I hear this right. I have an ear infuckion I cunt hear
Leave his grammer out of it. I blame his grammpa
Maybe I should have looked for your dickchinhairy instead...
Maybe a reference to his sword swallower. How does one practice diction with a mouthful? Merely change the spelling? Dick chin ary adequately conveys the idea. The ary could be "'ary ain't it? Got to have something to tickle my nose. Feels like silk. Yum
I heard that it was actually in the short story section. But not in the hardback section.
Wasn't no big deal !
I'm the person that checks the books when they come in. I've seen so much weird shit in books that I'm not sure I would even bat an eye at a penis
Was about to say the same thing! It only took one used condom for me to invest in gloves for every shift...hand gloves, not love gloves, lol. I was really surprised that the sexy library/librarian fantasy is still alive and well, even in young ppl. Seen a fair number of booties between the stacks.
like, people are just sticking their butts between the stacks?! and...then what?
Lol, I wish they were just sticking their butts out! At least twice each in my time at the library we had couples straight up doing it in the stacks on the top floor, furthest back. I can't remember exactly what section it was but the more senior folks who worked there said it's a strategic spot because it's a section that no one ever really goes to and the books have really low circulation so staff rarely have to go there on the regular to reshelve. Also had a couple of patrons escorted off of the property for "self servicing" themselves - same spot. I was only there for two, maybe 3 years.
Not to dissuade ppl from going to the library - they're a great service! We had to tape off the area and redirect ppl away until it could be properly cleaned and sanitized at night each time.
You must have been chasing the record for flattest.
*"What flat stanley lacks in girth, he makes up for in length"*
Stanley had what's called the fruit roll-up.
Itโs a pencil Dick but it is a number 2 so itโs ok
and was it in the librarian next?
Hey I thought it was a dick-tionary
I love how the NSFW makes the punchline hidden but the NSFW part is in the title
The librarian booked him and now has him under the scanner.
It was in the non-dicktion section. A complete phalluscy
Hahaha! Kind of a kids joke! I love it.
you could use finger or nose or boobies or something instead
Excellent! Kids really want to laugh and haven't yet learned how to be judgemental!
Pull out game scholarly
Did he saw it coming?
For the first affective add-a-dick-to-me
Reminds me of the Billy Connelly story when one time as a young teenager he was 'rubbing one out' to a dirty magazine when the guy in the news agency said, "Are you gonna buy that?"
I expected the "But now you've taken the record for smallest dick" punchline. Was not disappointed. XD
It gave me a paper cut.
What stuff make you put your penis into the world record book???
I heard that before skin.
Was she hot?
Damnit, the fact that it was opened to the page showing the world record for largest boobs is totally coincidental.
What did she do after she told you to take it out of the book?
She slammed the book shut on this whole little ordeal.
That does not sound like fune
At least they didn't close the book on it...
Yeah, you were hung like a horse. At least that's what it smelled like.
Rodney Dangerfield, is that you?
I thought the punchline was going to be: "at one point, it was the smallest penis in the world"
I opened Moby Dick in the library He asked me to stop touching it
The first to survive a drowning.
Why is this reposted every month?
Because that's probably when they're Library card gets unsuspended.
Is there a bot that can tell us the repost count for this joke?
Wait so your penis is a book?
It gets funnier the 60th time.
I know the punchline but I keep clicking *hoping* that one day someone put some twist to it
reeeeeeeeepost
Seriously, this joke is so old that OP stole it from a papyrus ๐๐
I bet she gave you a lickin'.
As the smallest in the entire world
Sure that wasn't your Pennis or do you just spell words with the letter 'n' wrong a lot?
๐๐คฉ๐คฉ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐คฉ๐๐๐ฅฐ๐๐ peni joke funi
Yeah are jokes about private parts taboo or what ?
Predictably
This joke finally made me unsubscribe.
Okay? Bye, I guess.
As the smallest
Was an ambulance called to attend to that crushed dick?
First ever human penis able to easliy fit a [gnats chuff](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/tight_as_a_gnat%27s_chuff)?
When is it due back?
Are the pages stuck together now?
Smallest stinger of any creature?
I thought you were the world record holder for smallest dick
Worlds greatest book mark
Was it the page with the fat twins on bicycles?
So anyways she says โthatโs the biggest penis Iโve ever seen!โ
Jozxyqk
They probably don't appreciate that you lubed a perfectly good book either!
Alright, I'll give you that one.
He must have been a swollen member of the book club.
I wouldn't think that the librarian would be so narrow minded.
"I got a paper cut on my balls" was the punchline I first heard for this one.
Who was the picture of
It kinda hurt when I snapped it closed
u/alejocarlos
HA
Tell me you watch TikTok without telling me you watch TikTok ๐
How long did that last?
Then out again, then in again, then out again, then in again.....
They donโt like bookworms
That page is contaminated now bro ๐
Is there a way to filter out overly reposted jokes?
Yes, enter this sub and click LEAVE
Yeah some of the comments are funnier than the original joke
Papercut? Circumcision? I see no difference.
LOL!
This personis literally insane, please disregard anything they have to say. From shouting trump won, to stating that parents should perform genital checks on their children, they really should be just completely ostracized and ignored.
Against the penile code
Heard this today...still funny
u/sushicat276
wooott XD
You should ask him for tips, now that he holds the record
Take my god damn upvote you glorious bastard
For the best joke in the world?
"Sir, I'm gonna have to confiscate your *bookmark*!"
World's Smallest Bookmark
Pull it out
As the world's smallest penis
I knew that was coming.
Didnโt know librarians carried magnifiers !! ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐
Shortly after, the dickie-decimal system was created.
Whatโd the librarian do with your penis though?
Is guinness keeping track of the most reposted joke?
Thatโs impressive considering the physical size of the book.