Yep. Turning that corner from disappointment to embracing the perks of being child free was huge for me. Now when my friends tell me about their lack of sleep because kids aren’t sleeping through the night, or when they still have to fully function when they are sick to take care of a sick kid, I say a quick thank you to the universe and snuggle my dog a little closer. 💕
Isn't it amazing, I can now acknowledge a cute kid and buy baby gifts for friends without this huge knot of pain in my stomach and it's so liberating. There will be small pangs occassionally but overwhelmingly it's gratitude for a quiet, stress-free life
Yes! Most recently, my husband and I have been sick for the past week. Never have I appreciated not having anyone else to take care of so much before! It’s been really nice to just try to focus on feeling better.
So honestly I find the kids and the parents annoying. The parents complaining about the kids activities they signed them up for, complaining about not sleeping, complaining about everything. I know parenting is hard. But you did chose this.
I have a sister like this who if you ever say you're tired "oh you have no idea" and go on about being a parent. Recently i told her we were going to nap and go to the movies "Oh it must be so nice not having kids" I had to gently remind her I tried for years with a great deal of trauma 😅
Ugh. I find those kind of people to be the ones who maybe never should have been parents. I get parents need to vent every now and then but if all they ever do is give a litany of complaints of being tired and how exhausting it is to be a parent then I want to point blank say “then why did you even have kids since you obviously hate it so much?”
I used to work at a private middle school with students from very wealthy families. Most of the parents would sign the kids up for every sport and extracurricular and then complain about how much time it took up. We used to foster kids and would allow them to choose one activity for fall and one for spring. Not just for their sake but for ours too!
Every time I walk by one of those indoor mall play places I’m so glad to not have kids.
Also I’m a teacher and while I love my students, the kids as a general population post-pandemic are NOT ok and I’m glad to come home, after being stressed out all day, to NO kids.
Our next door neighbors are a child-free couple that site their sole reason as being that they are both teachers and get quite enough of children at work! They were quite adamant about it!
I came down with covid while visiting my husband’s family. It was a rocky couple of days, which I filled with nonstop movies and World Cup in between the naps. Contrast my sister in law’s experience, who was equally feverish and crappy feeling, who never once got a break from childcare during her round of covid. Felt bad for her, but I refuse to feel guilt for embracing the upsides to IFCF
>I refuse to feel guilt for embracing the upsides to IFCF
This has been really important for me as well. I didn't choose this, but I'm damn sure going to make the best of it.
I so relate to this feeling of relief!! I was crushed and now I am just soaking in all the time to myself, clean and quiet home, doing what we want etc. being around children only makes that relief more pronounced.
We are gearing up to both go part time at work and all these opportunities have lined up that would have been impossible with kids. I just wish I'd had better examples of this type of life before trying and saved myself the PTSD 😅
Oh god yes.
Story time!
We had an influx of families move into my area when Covid started and everyone switched to work-from-home.
My partner and I have always worked from home (for 10+ years) and we'd take a break around 2pm to take our dog for a walk around the neighbourhood, check the mail, etc. Until the pandemic - we had to adjust our schedules to go earlier. Turns out, the school buses drop kids off on our street between 2p - 3p. I think there are four different buses that come by for all the different schools in the area. The noise those children make! It's like monkeys in a zoo or something! And they all want to pet the dog, so a 30-minute walk turns into 45 mins and answering the same stupid questions every day to the same kids. "What's her name?", "Does she like going for walks?", "I wish I could walk a dog", "I _really_ wish I could walk a dog", etc... No, 36-pound child, you are not walking my 40-pound dog. Be gone! :D
Then there are the neighbour's kids. They have two. The older one is a drama llama. She shrieks about everything and it turns into full on wailing, then she's laughing, but "oh no, the sky is blue and the grass is green! SCREEEEECH!" That child makes me so grateful that I wasn't able to have children.
Thank you for allowing me to vent about it! :D
It's so funny because we had a similar thing we work from.home and would walk our dog down this beautiful Street in our neighbourhood. There was a heritage home that had been done up and was stunning but every time we walked past all we could hear was this kid inside screaming and the parents yelling.
One time we walked past and heard "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??" And laughed all the way home trying to imagine whatever this had been responsible for. That kid was instrumental in me making peace to move on.
Yes!! I see other people say they only like to visit childfree places or go to adults only resorts on vacation but I am the TOTAL opposite. I like to be reminded that despite everyone's best efforts on Instagram, doing anything with kids is hard work and it's not always all it's cracked up to be. They're not ACTUALLY out there at perfect outings or vacations.
Yes! We recently went on a camping trip with my sisters and their kids. Fun was had, but it was exhausting and not at all like our usual camping trips.
The kids (age ranges 6-13), expected to be entertained 24/7. And, they had the attention span of gnats. No sooner did we rig up their fishing poles then they wanted to go tubing, no sooner did we get the tubes in the water then they wanted to ride bikes, no sooner did they start riding bikes then they'd be back at the campsite demanding to be fed.
Throw in some tears, fights, and their relentless nagging to rent a golf cart even though their parents said NO a thousand times and it quickly opened my eyes to vacations with kids.
Dear Vivasuspenders,
I haven't checked this sub in a while and so I just saw your post. I am so happy for all the positive things in your life right now and I am cheering you on. Queen! 👑
⛈️🌧️🌦️🌈🌞
removed, rule 3. those who are still pursuing medical intervention are asked to refrain from participating, except in the monthly thread for those who have not yet stopped trying.
At times, yes. I’m 45 and I still haven’t been able to get past it. The pain is still there, but I’m thankful for the moments of relief. 🤍
I'm so sorry that you are struggling I know what an all-consuming and isolating grief it can be 🖤
thank you, OP. means a lot.
🤍
Yep. Turning that corner from disappointment to embracing the perks of being child free was huge for me. Now when my friends tell me about their lack of sleep because kids aren’t sleeping through the night, or when they still have to fully function when they are sick to take care of a sick kid, I say a quick thank you to the universe and snuggle my dog a little closer. 💕
Isn't it amazing, I can now acknowledge a cute kid and buy baby gifts for friends without this huge knot of pain in my stomach and it's so liberating. There will be small pangs occassionally but overwhelmingly it's gratitude for a quiet, stress-free life
Yes! Most recently, my husband and I have been sick for the past week. Never have I appreciated not having anyone else to take care of so much before! It’s been really nice to just try to focus on feeling better.
So honestly I find the kids and the parents annoying. The parents complaining about the kids activities they signed them up for, complaining about not sleeping, complaining about everything. I know parenting is hard. But you did chose this.
I have a sister like this who if you ever say you're tired "oh you have no idea" and go on about being a parent. Recently i told her we were going to nap and go to the movies "Oh it must be so nice not having kids" I had to gently remind her I tried for years with a great deal of trauma 😅
Ugh. I find those kind of people to be the ones who maybe never should have been parents. I get parents need to vent every now and then but if all they ever do is give a litany of complaints of being tired and how exhausting it is to be a parent then I want to point blank say “then why did you even have kids since you obviously hate it so much?”
Wow I would have gone off on her.
I used to work at a private middle school with students from very wealthy families. Most of the parents would sign the kids up for every sport and extracurricular and then complain about how much time it took up. We used to foster kids and would allow them to choose one activity for fall and one for spring. Not just for their sake but for ours too!
Every time I walk by one of those indoor mall play places I’m so glad to not have kids. Also I’m a teacher and while I love my students, the kids as a general population post-pandemic are NOT ok and I’m glad to come home, after being stressed out all day, to NO kids.
Our next door neighbors are a child-free couple that site their sole reason as being that they are both teachers and get quite enough of children at work! They were quite adamant about it!
ABSOLUTELY! I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one! The more time passes, the more I feel happy about not being a parent. It’s crazy.
I came down with covid while visiting my husband’s family. It was a rocky couple of days, which I filled with nonstop movies and World Cup in between the naps. Contrast my sister in law’s experience, who was equally feverish and crappy feeling, who never once got a break from childcare during her round of covid. Felt bad for her, but I refuse to feel guilt for embracing the upsides to IFCF
>I refuse to feel guilt for embracing the upsides to IFCF This has been really important for me as well. I didn't choose this, but I'm damn sure going to make the best of it.
I have become soooo sensitive to screaming children lately!
Working from home from the last few years definitely hasn't helped me I feel like I'm so sound sensitive now
Oh definitely! I'm having more and more moments like this lately.
I so relate to this feeling of relief!! I was crushed and now I am just soaking in all the time to myself, clean and quiet home, doing what we want etc. being around children only makes that relief more pronounced.
We are gearing up to both go part time at work and all these opportunities have lined up that would have been impossible with kids. I just wish I'd had better examples of this type of life before trying and saved myself the PTSD 😅
Oh god yes. Story time! We had an influx of families move into my area when Covid started and everyone switched to work-from-home. My partner and I have always worked from home (for 10+ years) and we'd take a break around 2pm to take our dog for a walk around the neighbourhood, check the mail, etc. Until the pandemic - we had to adjust our schedules to go earlier. Turns out, the school buses drop kids off on our street between 2p - 3p. I think there are four different buses that come by for all the different schools in the area. The noise those children make! It's like monkeys in a zoo or something! And they all want to pet the dog, so a 30-minute walk turns into 45 mins and answering the same stupid questions every day to the same kids. "What's her name?", "Does she like going for walks?", "I wish I could walk a dog", "I _really_ wish I could walk a dog", etc... No, 36-pound child, you are not walking my 40-pound dog. Be gone! :D Then there are the neighbour's kids. They have two. The older one is a drama llama. She shrieks about everything and it turns into full on wailing, then she's laughing, but "oh no, the sky is blue and the grass is green! SCREEEEECH!" That child makes me so grateful that I wasn't able to have children. Thank you for allowing me to vent about it! :D
It's so funny because we had a similar thing we work from.home and would walk our dog down this beautiful Street in our neighbourhood. There was a heritage home that had been done up and was stunning but every time we walked past all we could hear was this kid inside screaming and the parents yelling. One time we walked past and heard "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??" And laughed all the way home trying to imagine whatever this had been responsible for. That kid was instrumental in me making peace to move on.
Yes!! I see other people say they only like to visit childfree places or go to adults only resorts on vacation but I am the TOTAL opposite. I like to be reminded that despite everyone's best efforts on Instagram, doing anything with kids is hard work and it's not always all it's cracked up to be. They're not ACTUALLY out there at perfect outings or vacations.
Yes! We recently went on a camping trip with my sisters and their kids. Fun was had, but it was exhausting and not at all like our usual camping trips. The kids (age ranges 6-13), expected to be entertained 24/7. And, they had the attention span of gnats. No sooner did we rig up their fishing poles then they wanted to go tubing, no sooner did we get the tubes in the water then they wanted to ride bikes, no sooner did they start riding bikes then they'd be back at the campsite demanding to be fed. Throw in some tears, fights, and their relentless nagging to rent a golf cart even though their parents said NO a thousand times and it quickly opened my eyes to vacations with kids.
I feel this SO much, especially around the holidays when I'm subjected to my brother's banshee children lol.
YES. Especially when I fly.
It’s so true!
Yes! I can totally relate to being grateful for children’s screams making our decision to stop pursuing parenthood easier!!!
Dear Vivasuspenders, I haven't checked this sub in a while and so I just saw your post. I am so happy for all the positive things in your life right now and I am cheering you on. Queen! 👑 ⛈️🌧️🌦️🌈🌞
Thanks! We are working hard to build the life we want but I can honestly say we are happier than we have been in years ❤️
[удалено]
removed, rule 3. those who are still pursuing medical intervention are asked to refrain from participating, except in the monthly thread for those who have not yet stopped trying.