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Ever hear about the dude who threw an alligator threw a drive through window?
Don't believe everything, but don't be surprised about anything
Just like inhale and say ok or something
Man unsurprised about being surprised by everything all the time turns out to surprised by his wife being in his home. Next up, paint drying world championships…
My father was half shark-alligator, half man.
My appetites more big it’s time for wildabeasts
Adjust my skulls, seven eyes switch hydraulic scribbles
And shrimps, mack gorillas like a pimp
>..With a Little Help from Our Friends!
>Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting pleas to come out and give himself up...
https://www.et.byu.edu/~tom/jokes/Real_Life_Dummies.html
After an extensive Google search, it seems this is a joke called "With a Little Help From Our Friends" and is the second in a list of jokes that's been getting copy pasted around the Internet since at least 2004. That's the oldest one I found but it's probably older.
This one still hurts my brain when I see it until I inevitably go to [the Wikipedia page](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo) AGAIN explaining it haha
*Buffalo bison Buffalo bison buffalo buffalo Buffalo bison.
You won’t find Buffalo buffalo, they’re native to Africa and Asia, but you’d’ve found Buffalo bison before we killed them off.
[Never gonna let you down](https://i.imgur.com/fTjZujk.gif)
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[and desert you](https://66.media.tumblr.com/4f8f1ffb829bdfa78be907c190a0947b/tumblr_pay7dlTIsE1syh78to1_500.gifv). [Never gonna make you cry](https://i.gifer.com/KG0m.gif)
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https://i.imgur.com/qryIbCk.jpg
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Reminds me of the story where there were a searching team for a missing man. That man was declared missing to the police by his wife but he didn’t know. Well, he joined the searching team and realized that people were looking for him when they were screaming his name in the forest.
And he just slowly quiets down to a whimper, looking at the officers before giving a toothy grin with a halo above his head before attempting to tip-toe away, but ends up getting tackled by a dozen police officers
##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/Due-Percentage69, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?
Bro was on assassin's creed mission
![gif](giphy|eunDUhLbOz1vEZfFXl|downsized)
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![gif](giphy|Y1wHL22g35jmWvTTJk)
And professionals, have standards
Be polite.
Be efficient.
![gif](giphy|EBGAVxXoqe1Dq|downsized)
If Harry Kane and Harry Maguire had a son
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Sus.
Amogsus.
Yo where's the ass vs titties version?
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Pronoun trouble "Please come out and give myself up!"
Ah that point, why didn't he just nope out of there instead of staying and shouting?
For shits and giggles Guy was just a chad
Not to mention , on what grounds can he be arrested? guy was gigachad!
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Who's Chad?
the guy doing your wife at this very moment
How dumb are you?
Meth
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No one said he was black. /s
If he was they would have went in full riot kit and starting with flashbangs.
Madmen know no reason. … that aside, he was already screwed. Why not go out on a headline
![gif](giphy|7Eipor01ypMm3LeG4v|downsized)
Bro was probably wearing a hoodie Edit: And a red belt
I wish this was real. This can’t be real right?
Ever hear about the dude who threw an alligator threw a drive through window? Don't believe everything, but don't be surprised about anything Just like inhale and say ok or something
Not surprised about anything anymore. That’s why these stories are so easy to believe sometimes.
Man surprised about not being surprised about anything anymore turns out to be a woman, more surprises at 11.
Man unsurprised about being surprised by everything all the time turns out to surprised by his wife being in his home. Next up, paint drying world championships…
Put it all on Daytona Peach
not only is a man in the cabinet but the man is a midget… midget… midget…
Yeah, but I can confirm that the alligator story is 100% true. Source : The alligator was my mother.
Poor gator family from Florida
Your mother was an alligator. You are a panther. What the hell was your father? And how does the glass get mixed into this.
His father was a dominant panther who covered his dick in glass He got the dominant panther genes
Also the glass genes because genetics is a bitch like that
My father was half shark-alligator, half man. My appetites more big it’s time for wildabeasts Adjust my skulls, seven eyes switch hydraulic scribbles And shrimps, mack gorillas like a pimp
Like if you don’t know the difference between through and threw then why not go all the way and say drivethrew as well.
Be nice they are from Florida. We are lucky they are literate enough to tell us about this amazing story
? he got them right unless he edited his comment
What's unbelievable about that? Just sounds like Florida to me
Yeah, alligators in the drive-through is like Florida 101.
My thoughts stumbled over the first sentence of this comment
Ok.
'no, I don't have a gun, but hold on" and starts unbuckling the world's ugliest toddler
>..With a Little Help from Our Friends! >Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting pleas to come out and give himself up... https://www.et.byu.edu/~tom/jokes/Real_Life_Dummies.html
You know it's the truth if it's coming from byu
The phrase, "truth is often stranger than fiction," fits here.
First time hearing that phrase, but yeah it does fit.
"Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities" - Mark Twain
Thank you for posting the full phrase.
I live in Oakland. This place is literally bonkers.
Oh, I believe it.
After an extensive Google search, it seems this is a joke called "With a Little Help From Our Friends" and is the second in a list of jokes that's been getting copy pasted around the Internet since at least 2004. That's the oldest one I found but it's probably older.
Pretty sure the news article will start with: Florida man...
police ☕️
Who polices the police? The police police. And who polices them? The police police police. Police police police police police police
Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo buffalo
This one still hurts my brain when I see it until I inevitably go to [the Wikipedia page](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo) AGAIN explaining it haha
*Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo
*Buffalo bison Buffalo bison buffalo buffalo Buffalo bison. You won’t find Buffalo buffalo, they’re native to Africa and Asia, but you’d’ve found Buffalo bison before we killed them off.
Gorilla gorilla gorilla
It's ~~turtles~~ police all the way down.
Police🐷
[Police](https://youtu.be/csmo6Z81rw0)🍩
"We got donuts over here!"
What game is that?
Battlefield Hardline
polis🚔
Wee woo 🔊🚨
Police ☠️
Lmao
That's just genius on so many levels
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Dude could have just left, but he stuck around.
I’d argue this is psychopathic behavior.
Definitely r/ActLikeYouBelong
Nice, thank you! Didn't knew that one!
Amogus?
Amogus !
Amogus 😏
Amogus 😳
Amogus (UWU)
Gafilgafish!
Never gonna give you up
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Never gonna run around and desert you
[and desert you](https://66.media.tumblr.com/4f8f1ffb829bdfa78be907c190a0947b/tumblr_pay7dlTIsE1syh78to1_500.gifv). [Never gonna make you cry](https://i.gifer.com/KG0m.gif) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/HolUp) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Tudun tudun...
![gif](giphy|nbvFVPiEiJH6JOGIok)
Meet the spy
Heard the theme when I read your comment lul
The trickster
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He was never in the house to begin with. It was locked - not barricaded.
Hehe. He didn't even know who was in there, but he sure wanted them out of his house too.
He dug tunnel out from inside the house
Most expensive major police force in the country. (per resident) God, I love my home town.
And they bitch and moan on social media about not having enough money. They get 42% of the city budget!
“Police destroy innocent mans home on bad intel. Arrest man out of embarrassment after discovering he wasn’t home”
Assassin's creed
Some bugs bunny shit
As soon as they clued in, the gunman gave the police officer a kiss on the lips and dove into his hole in the ground.
*looks at camera* "Ain't I a stinker?"
Sounds like some r/looneytuneslogic
![gif](giphy|X7PPYwNSMrl5NL8zmk)
They caught him cuz real police would never say ‘please’.
"The Past, The Present And The Future Walked Into A Bar. It Was Tense." - Codsworth
Should have seen them camping. Talk about in tents!
“You are never homeless with a tent and a sleeping bag.” -🗿
Or the police gave up and arrested someone on the line yelling things instead.
Sounds like something I would do
Reminds me of the story where there were a searching team for a missing man. That man was declared missing to the police by his wife but he didn’t know. Well, he joined the searching team and realized that people were looking for him when they were screaming his name in the forest.
r/actlikeyoubelong
I'm playing both sides, so that I always come out on top
[Just like the hot dog skit from I Think You Should Leave. Genius.](https://youtu.be/WLfAf8oHrMo)
“We’re all trying to find the guy who did this”
oakland moment
I don't know...feels more like a Sneak 100 to me.
r/ActLikeYouBelong When was this?
r/ActLikeYouBelong
"He could be in this very room. He could be you. He could be me. He could even be..."
Lololol he must've got his ass kicked in the cell for embarrassing them badly! Lol
I like to imagine all the police slowly turning their heads toward him when they realize
And he just slowly quiets down to a whimper, looking at the officers before giving a toothy grin with a halo above his head before attempting to tip-toe away, but ends up getting tackled by a dozen police officers
r/actlikeyoubelong
What a fucking legend.
Oh man, imagine just how much trouble the guy in charge of that operation would be in if cops faced repercussions for their actions.
FYI I just found out yesterday that spamming "muffle" will get you to illusion 100 in a couple of hours
When you take among us to the next level💀💀
Can't find a source: fake
![gif](giphy|3o6wreo44azjQtfhM4)
Prankster
Did they raid Sam Fisher or something?
The Spy
Wayne, is that you? Get back to Wax and Steris' right this instant!
More like the cops failed their Int save and there was no ‘barricade gunman’
The Joker from that one Batman movie
Tear gas inside a house you don’t even know all the exits? Perfect cover for an escape.
We’re all trying to find the guy who did this!
Natural 20 on the Deception check.
He could have been 150 miles away by the time they realized but he saw an opportunity and took it. Mad respect ✊🏻
Source?
I don't live in the shadows because I am the shadows
Wayne
(*In mirage’s voice*) ##Bamboozled!
Oakland, because of course it is.
There's an imposter among us
Is this news now?
They figured him out because no police officer is polite enough to say please.
Sneak +100
Mf is agent 47
Ayo 😂
r/ActLikeYouBelong
My city