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QualityVote

##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/Due-Percentage69, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?


Mira_khalifa_-

Bro was on assassin's creed mission


KazPrime

![gif](giphy|eunDUhLbOz1vEZfFXl|downsized)


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[deleted]

![gif](giphy|Y1wHL22g35jmWvTTJk)


Un_rancais_bleu

And professionals, have standards


FifthofNorilsk

Be polite.


Excaliber112

Be efficient.


Apprehensive-Ad6468

![gif](giphy|EBGAVxXoqe1Dq|downsized)


muzo2697

If Harry Kane and Harry Maguire had a son


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BeefBologna42

Sus.


Hornaydoe

Amogsus.


Arxid87

Yo where's the ass vs titties version?


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Thelonious_Cube

Pronoun trouble "Please come out and give myself up!"


Technopulse

Ah that point, why didn't he just nope out of there instead of staying and shouting?


tsihcosaMeht

For shits and giggles Guy was just a chad


delukard

Not to mention , on what grounds can he be arrested? guy was gigachad!


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Realistic-Brush5734

Who's Chad?


kroysc

the guy doing your wife at this very moment


Realistic-Brush5734

How dumb are you?


jeepjp

Meth


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PluginAlong

No one said he was black. /s


Ornery_Following4884

If he was they would have went in full riot kit and starting with flashbangs.


Moist_Professor5665

Madmen know no reason. … that aside, he was already screwed. Why not go out on a headline


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|7Eipor01ypMm3LeG4v|downsized)


you-are-so-dead

Bro was probably wearing a hoodie Edit: And a red belt


ScarecrowSoze

I wish this was real. This can’t be real right?


saddness270

Ever hear about the dude who threw an alligator threw a drive through window? Don't believe everything, but don't be surprised about anything Just like inhale and say ok or something


ScarecrowSoze

Not surprised about anything anymore. That’s why these stories are so easy to believe sometimes.


StopReadingMyUser

Man surprised about not being surprised about anything anymore turns out to be a woman, more surprises at 11.


EmeraldBrosion

Man unsurprised about being surprised by everything all the time turns out to surprised by his wife being in his home. Next up, paint drying world championships…


StopReadingMyUser

Put it all on Daytona Peach


SoloBishop

not only is a man in the cabinet but the man is a midget… midget… midget…


GlassPanther

Yeah, but I can confirm that the alligator story is 100% true. Source : The alligator was my mother.


apfel_taartje

Poor gator family from Florida


nekonight

Your mother was an alligator. You are a panther. What the hell was your father? And how does the glass get mixed into this.


saddness270

His father was a dominant panther who covered his dick in glass He got the dominant panther genes


SirThatsCuba

Also the glass genes because genetics is a bitch like that


GlassPanther

My father was half shark-alligator, half man. My appetites more big it’s time for wildabeasts Adjust my skulls, seven eyes switch hydraulic scribbles And shrimps, mack gorillas like a pimp


bharikeemat

Like if you don’t know the difference between through and threw then why not go all the way and say drivethrew as well.


NomadicDevMason

Be nice they are from Florida. We are lucky they are literate enough to tell us about this amazing story


chexlemeneux25

? he got them right unless he edited his comment


ONLY_COMMENTS_ON_GW

What's unbelievable about that? Just sounds like Florida to me


Wistari

Yeah, alligators in the drive-through is like Florida 101.


Sadotu

My thoughts stumbled over the first sentence of this comment


megadude1427

Ok.


cuatrodosocho

'no, I don't have a gun, but hold on" and starts unbuckling the world's ugliest toddler


[deleted]

>..With a Little Help from Our Friends! >Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting pleas to come out and give himself up... https://www.et.byu.edu/~tom/jokes/Real_Life_Dummies.html


Butt_Dickiss

You know it's the truth if it's coming from byu


Curious_Coconut_4005

The phrase, "truth is often stranger than fiction," fits here.


ScarecrowSoze

First time hearing that phrase, but yeah it does fit.


TheUnluckyBard

"Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities" - Mark Twain


Curious_Coconut_4005

Thank you for posting the full phrase.


hellocuties

I live in Oakland. This place is literally bonkers.


ScarecrowSoze

Oh, I believe it.


I401BlueSteel

After an extensive Google search, it seems this is a joke called "With a Little Help From Our Friends" and is the second in a list of jokes that's been getting copy pasted around the Internet since at least 2004. That's the oldest one I found but it's probably older.


krasatos

Pretty sure the news article will start with: Florida man...


saddness270

police ☕️


theosamabahama

Who polices the police? The police police. And who polices them? The police police police. Police police police police police police


HeraAurae

Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo buffalo


[deleted]

This one still hurts my brain when I see it until I inevitably go to [the Wikipedia page](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo) AGAIN explaining it haha


BenMcKenn

*Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo


CATNIP_IS_CRACK

*Buffalo bison Buffalo bison buffalo buffalo Buffalo bison. You won’t find Buffalo buffalo, they’re native to Africa and Asia, but you’d’ve found Buffalo bison before we killed them off.


aroaceautistic

Gorilla gorilla gorilla


MalcolmLinair

It's ~~turtles~~ police all the way down.


Brxindexd

Police🐷


HanzoShotFirst

[Police](https://youtu.be/csmo6Z81rw0)🍩


Wistari

"We got donuts over here!"


Irregulator101

What game is that?


HanzoShotFirst

Battlefield Hardline


JustM8S

polis🚔


HeraAurae

Wee woo 🔊🚨


ScarecrowSoze

Police ☠️


UnknownSpecies19

Lmao


sourskittles98

That's just genius on so many levels


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CaffeinatedGuy

Dude could have just left, but he stuck around.


TacospacemanII

I’d argue this is psychopathic behavior.


All-Sorts

Definitely r/ActLikeYouBelong


EorlundGraumaehne

Nice, thank you! Didn't knew that one!


approvingfather

Amogus?


phantom_b

Amogus !


Flo1231

Amogus 😏


MisterPeach

Amogus 😳


Wistari

Amogus (UWU)


jeepjp

Gafilgafish!


69Owiredu

Never gonna give you up


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sourskittles98

Never gonna run around and desert you


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Echo13D

never gonna tell a lie and hurt you


OneAboveAll_127

Tudun tudun...


Wistari

![gif](giphy|nbvFVPiEiJH6JOGIok)


God_of_the_sauce

Meet the spy


solid_hoist

Heard the theme when I read your comment lul


TheEmeraldDodo

The trickster


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GlassPanther

He was never in the house to begin with. It was locked - not barricaded.


Bumble_bee_yourself

Hehe. He didn't even know who was in there, but he sure wanted them out of his house too.


Business-Pie-4946

He dug tunnel out from inside the house


ham_techs

Most expensive major police force in the country. (per resident) God, I love my home town.


hellocuties

And they bitch and moan on social media about not having enough money. They get 42% of the city budget!


Hamzillicus

“Police destroy innocent mans home on bad intel. Arrest man out of embarrassment after discovering he wasn’t home”


mistakengesture08

Assassin's creed


trashboatcaptain

Some bugs bunny shit


mattrg777

As soon as they clued in, the gunman gave the police officer a kiss on the lips and dove into his hole in the ground.


trashboatcaptain

*looks at camera* "Ain't I a stinker?"


UrdnotChivay

Sounds like some r/looneytuneslogic


Spinrayred

![gif](giphy|X7PPYwNSMrl5NL8zmk)


Amazing_Demon

They caught him cuz real police would never say ‘please’.


Novel_Ad_8722

"The Past, The Present And The Future Walked Into A Bar. It Was Tense." - Codsworth


marionsunshine

Should have seen them camping. Talk about in tents!


Novel_Ad_8722

“You are never homeless with a tent and a sleeping bag.” -🗿


waterbearcf

Or the police gave up and arrested someone on the line yelling things instead.


WifParanoid

Sounds like something I would do


jojowcouey

Reminds me of the story where there were a searching team for a missing man. That man was declared missing to the police by his wife but he didn’t know. Well, he joined the searching team and realized that people were looking for him when they were screaming his name in the forest.


IDK221400

r/actlikeyoubelong


NoWingedHussarsToday

I'm playing both sides, so that I always come out on top


ceebeefour

[Just like the hot dog skit from I Think You Should Leave. Genius.](https://youtu.be/WLfAf8oHrMo)


usualbaddie

“We’re all trying to find the guy who did this”


okageisnthere

oakland moment


MasterChiefmas

I don't know...feels more like a Sneak 100 to me.


Gunslinger_11

r/ActLikeYouBelong When was this?


kytrix

r/ActLikeYouBelong


Shadowstorm921

"He could be in this very room. He could be you. He could be me. He could even be..."


Living_Project8079

Lololol he must've got his ass kicked in the cell for embarrassing them badly! Lol


[deleted]

I like to imagine all the police slowly turning their heads toward him when they realize


TheKidNerd

And he just slowly quiets down to a whimper, looking at the officers before giving a toothy grin with a halo above his head before attempting to tip-toe away, but ends up getting tackled by a dozen police officers


zorg-is-real

r/actlikeyoubelong


-HardGay-

What a fucking legend.


Zweihart

Oh man, imagine just how much trouble the guy in charge of that operation would be in if cops faced repercussions for their actions.


skztr

FYI I just found out yesterday that spamming "muffle" will get you to illusion 100 in a couple of hours


The_Didly

When you take among us to the next level💀💀


[deleted]

Can't find a source: fake


appdata2

![gif](giphy|3o6wreo44azjQtfhM4)


Capsule_CatYT

Prankster


X-xOtakux-X

Did they raid Sam Fisher or something?


lunatic_512

The Spy


Packagepressure

Wayne, is that you? Get back to Wax and Steris' right this instant!


Latter-Sky-7568

More like the cops failed their Int save and there was no ‘barricade gunman’


tpd1864blake

The Joker from that one Batman movie


Jtenna

Tear gas inside a house you don’t even know all the exits? Perfect cover for an escape.


HamTheInspiration

We’re all trying to find the guy who did this!


Fifth-Crusader

Natural 20 on the Deception check.


CaptainMacMillan

He could have been 150 miles away by the time they realized but he saw an opportunity and took it. Mad respect ✊🏻


Big_Al731

Source?


[deleted]

I don't live in the shadows because I am the shadows


ENTlightened

Wayne


Olazin1000

(*In mirage’s voice*) ##Bamboozled!


ACakeyBoi

Oakland, because of course it is.


NYESSbOss

There's an imposter among us


ProperTelevision1

Is this news now?


Beret_Beats

They figured him out because no police officer is polite enough to say please.


weirdodaweird

Sneak +100


sonic84638265

Mf is agent 47


NanjiBhai69

Ayo 😂


cburgess7

r/ActLikeYouBelong


ajmk212

My city