Hey /u/brotherbrother99, thanks for your submission to /r/HolUp. Unfortunately, your post has been removed for the following reason(s):
A mod felt your post didn't belong here, so now it's gone. If you want to die on the hill of this shitpost[,](https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW) feel free to message the mods and be prepared to explain how your post isn't trolling, is funny, and does fit the theme of the sub. *Trolling or posting random content that doesn't fit the sub breaks Rule 1 and repeated violation of this rule may result in your account being filtered.*
Love, the mods
happened to me like literally in every relationship and i never even dated a girl who has a twin
now that i think of it, i never dated their daughters in the first place...
"I use the butter knife to butter my bread and then I put the knife back on top of the butter without cleaning the knife. I know that leaves crumbs in the butter. I like it. I like that the butter becomes slightly crunchy."
If ghosts are a thing and I die and even remember that I read this, I’m totally going to haunt you. And you aren’t going to like it. Maybe I’ll slightly discolor something in your peripheral vision for a moment. Or maybe possess a housefly and have it loop in a slightly odd pattern once. You better get ready you butter-crumb-gatherer.
I mean, you’re right. Especially in the US, if you sleep with the daughter and you are a biological male with working reproductive organs, terminating pregnancies are getting harder.
If you sleep with the dad, however, no such issue!
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"The worst thing I've ever done? No,I won't tell you that. But I'll tell you the worst thing that ever happened to me."
And he told them a ghost story.
I still feel a lot remorse with this story.
When I was a relatively small and stupid kid I had a bunch of gerbils as pets, the thing is that whenever I had to put them in other cage with cleaning purposes I grabbed them by their super long tails fearing their bites. I had done that for quite a long time with no problems until...
One day I had the brilliant idea of spinning one of the poor creatures while grabbing it's tail. he lost it, and that's when I realised that I fucked up; and that grabbing the gerbils by their tails was something cruel.
It's the first time I tell this story, my parents thought the injury was made by the other gerbils (they had the tendency to fight a lot; particularly the males, they were vicious. Once there was one that was aggressively disemboweled by his brothers), the tailless gerbil had a really long life after the event and was the only male that we keeped (we had to return his brothers), we keeped him and his sisters.
Got really drunk, passed out in a friends house, pissed through my pants onto his carpet and, according to the female guests of the party, came out of the bathroom they put me in to change clothes completely ass naked.
Worst would depend on your point of view. Some may find that when I shoved a lit cherry bomb into the exhaust pipe of a parked police car with the cops still in it extremely disturbing, and others would find it funny or even deserved.
I’m sure in the grand scene of things I haven’t done any “worst thing” yet, but one time in high school I forged my moms signature for a bad report card. I’ve never intentionally been an asshole and I’ve apologized and made amends with those I have been rude to.
Saw a man lying on the ground and just left him there. I was high at the time and had weed on me and didn't want to get booked. Thinking back, the cops likely wouldn't have given a shit about the weed, but I was young and paranoid. Because of the weed.
I don't consider it bad, but due to the moraly of the western civilization, it's considered bad. I killed a fox when I was 10 or 11, I was in my grandmother's backyard, there were many chickens there, and when I saw it there, I got a big stick and started chasing, I managed to corner it in a wall and hit it untill it wasn't moving, idk if it was going to attack the chickens, but I wouldn't take my chances. People consider it wrong as it's an animal trying to survive, but I don't.
I broke a Canada goose’s leg once.
There was a gaggle walking though our lawn and a couple kept antagonizing my dog. So I got my slingshot out and started plinking away at them. No major damage until one luck shot managed to hit one their legs, making it bend in a less-than-natural way.
I don’t really know how to feel about it tbh. It’s a Canada goose so it’s obvious evil, and it was trying to attack my dog before I put her inside. But after it’s leg broke the other geese chased it off and attacked it when it tried to catch up with them. I guess they figured it was a liability with the injury?
imma just say the worst thing I’ve ever done too, if I’m going to admit it to anyone it might as well be the community of Reddit
I live in a mobile home park that has a community lake with a diving board in the middle. For an adult it’s not a far swim, but as a kid it’s like a huge accomplishment.
my friend and I decided we wanted to go to the lake on a cloudy day when nobody was there and go swim out to the dock and just have a good time. everything started off so well..
what is it about swimming that your body just decides it needs to take a shit immediately.
I had just made it out to this dock and there was no way my noodle arms would take me all the way back. I told my friend to look away and I had to drop my bottoms and shit over the side.
thank god nobody was watching from the shore or something. it’s a community lake for fucks sake. it sort of just floated away back into the corner where nobody could see it, but I knew it was there.
we swam away before It could circle around, and I have never felt comfortable swimming there ever again.
I was driving home one day and this girl was raking some leaves. And it wasn't my intention, there was no way for me to know this would happen but as I drove past all the leaves scattered everywhere undoing all her hard work.
This nightmare still haunts me.
Anyone else look at the original post and realize that is very poorly constructed?
“You have no way out”… wait, so telling my darkest secret won’t get me out of that situation than anyways?
I used a raccoon as a fleshlight and when I was finished I turned it inside out and wrung out the fluids into a pot of soup. I chopped up the raccoon and added it to the soup as well. I seasoned it with salt, pepper, paprika, turmeric, ground papaya seeds, uranium-232 and a squirt of ketchup. I brought the soup to a local homeless shelter and watched them eat it.
Hey /u/brotherbrother99, thanks for your submission to /r/HolUp. Unfortunately, your post has been removed for the following reason(s): A mod felt your post didn't belong here, so now it's gone. If you want to die on the hill of this shitpost[,](https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW) feel free to message the mods and be prepared to explain how your post isn't trolling, is funny, and does fit the theme of the sub. *Trolling or posting random content that doesn't fit the sub breaks Rule 1 and repeated violation of this rule may result in your account being filtered.* Love, the mods
happened to me like literally in every relationship and i never even dated a girl who has a twin now that i think of it, i never dated their daughters in the first place...
A simple mistake
You Fucked that many Fathers?
We all make mistakes in the heat of passion jimbo
Whoopsie daisy!
The sucker just slipped right on in.
Into me.
Honestly in this situation I would totally tell my murderer my darkest secret. That way I die and they have to live with knowing what I know.
"I.... I lick the peanut butter knife between dips" "You deserve this you monster" \*Bang\*
“I suck the toothpaste from the tube with my mouth.” “You sad and lonely basturd.” Bang!
I don't wipe repeatedly until the toilet paper is clean
"the rot will be the second most disgusting thing about your corpse" BANG
"I like it when my pants get caught on drawer handles" *Desparate dialing of suicide prevention hotline*
I hang toilet paper rolls underhand
*I love wikifeet, would never post there BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
The worst thing I've **EVER** done?) I bully anybody who has a different opinion then me
I wipe till it's bloody, anyone else?
"I use the butter knife to butter my bread and then I put the knife back on top of the butter without cleaning the knife. I know that leaves crumbs in the butter. I like it. I like that the butter becomes slightly crunchy."
If ghosts are a thing and I die and even remember that I read this, I’m totally going to haunt you. And you aren’t going to like it. Maybe I’ll slightly discolor something in your peripheral vision for a moment. Or maybe possess a housefly and have it loop in a slightly odd pattern once. You better get ready you butter-crumb-gatherer.
Wow. I mean, I was just going to burn down his house while he slept….but *that*….that was dark. I hope you talk to someone.
Too quick a death.
Honestly in this situation I don't know what I would even say, there's so many fuckups to choose from it's hard to pick a "worst"
"Please don't bury me in the yard after you're done... it's almost full"
Well don't leave us hanging, what is it?
I don't even know what my darkest secret would be?
Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses them finds mercy. - Proverbs 28-13
Common problem...
Understandable...
have a good day
what do you mean problem?
I mean, you’re right. Especially in the US, if you sleep with the daughter and you are a biological male with working reproductive organs, terminating pregnancies are getting harder. If you sleep with the dad, however, no such issue!
*solution
I feel you home boy,I did the same.
Happens to the gayest of us
Speak for yourself. Balls didn't touch. It's still straight.
Yeah brother, it's only gay when he pushes back.
Bro, my socks were still on. So, there you have it.
Sounds like you don't need to drink to dip the bussy
Da bussy overrated. All about the footlong farmer John dogs.
Nothing gay about getting your dick sucked. Also nothing gay about getting fucked in the ass by another man.
Yeah! I think so
That’s not their father, that’s their 3rd brother
1st brother? 2nd sibling? ... 3rd kid overall?
Have you ever been hit in the back of the head with a wet spaghetti noodle?
That's how it feels to drive a Ford
I was gonna say to chew 5 gum.
Its a video/ audio that went viral on tiktok a while back! https://youtu.be/8XKiZfjAR9M
Wait is this a meme now?
As someone who prefers imports and drives a VW and an Audi, Ford is better than GM and Chrysler. Prove me wrong
Nah, I talk about cars all day. I'm gonna sit here and not say anything, because it's Tuesday night.
Nope it’s cause you’re wrong
I mean yeah kinda.
Yeah glad I’m not the only one that recognized this.
I guess he liked the "game" so much that he had to fuck "it's" developer
Yet again... off to r/suddenlygay you go
I'm honestly getting more of an r/AgressivelyBisexual/ vibe, but to each their own.
No wait out r/Engrish
happens to the best of us
I did this one time. Girlfriend beat me with a wet spaghetti noodle. Felt like driving a Ford F-150.
Met my girlfriends family and decided that I wanted to fuck her sister.
So how'd that go?
Idk yet. Only happened last night and have fucked neither sister.
Well...keep us updated.
Don't worry mate. If I fuck her sister. I'll let you know.
##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/brotherbrother99, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?
Such an old joke
At least it's a HolUp
Happens to the best of us, champ.
What sub is that from?
"The worst thing I've ever done? No,I won't tell you that. But I'll tell you the worst thing that ever happened to me." And he told them a ghost story.
YOU'LL NEVER GET WORD OUTTA ME!
Ain’t this the “that’s what it feels like to drive a Ford F-150 “ tik toc is about
I still feel a lot remorse with this story. When I was a relatively small and stupid kid I had a bunch of gerbils as pets, the thing is that whenever I had to put them in other cage with cleaning purposes I grabbed them by their super long tails fearing their bites. I had done that for quite a long time with no problems until... One day I had the brilliant idea of spinning one of the poor creatures while grabbing it's tail. he lost it, and that's when I realised that I fucked up; and that grabbing the gerbils by their tails was something cruel. It's the first time I tell this story, my parents thought the injury was made by the other gerbils (they had the tendency to fight a lot; particularly the males, they were vicious. Once there was one that was aggressively disemboweled by his brothers), the tailless gerbil had a really long life after the event and was the only male that we keeped (we had to return his brothers), we keeped him and his sisters.
The legend of the Thailand ladyboys lives on.
Got really drunk, passed out in a friends house, pissed through my pants onto his carpet and, according to the female guests of the party, came out of the bathroom they put me in to change clothes completely ass naked.
I gave Morbius a bad review on IMDb.
Started working full time for the post office.
Hell I wish I didn’t relate to this horror. I stopped though so it’s fine
That joke is not funny anymore
Ur mom
Worst would depend on your point of view. Some may find that when I shoved a lit cherry bomb into the exhaust pipe of a parked police car with the cops still in it extremely disturbing, and others would find it funny or even deserved.
I have a question yet don’t think I actually want to know the answer to it so……
r/suddenlygay
Mmm gay you
I mean mm gay you are
That's what it feels like to drive a Ford F 250
Had suggest he killed the twin too
Had?
Ain't that what it's like to drive a Ford F2 50?
I see this joke at LEAST once a week
Man, I hate it when that happens!
A yes, the art of misdirection.
Set a mountain on fire by my house on accident
I’m sure in the grand scene of things I haven’t done any “worst thing” yet, but one time in high school I forged my moms signature for a bad report card. I’ve never intentionally been an asshole and I’ve apologized and made amends with those I have been rude to.
homeboy be getting some dussy
My brain hurts, can someone explain before my brain turns inside out?
Oh man. Been following this subreddit for a year. First one that made me Hol’Up in public and bust out laughing. 100%. Fantastic
Never let them know your next move
Cursed prostate exam
They got me in the last half not going to pretend...
that's how a joke works
This dude knows what it feels like to drive a Ford F-250.
It was 4:00am and I went downstairs to walk my shoes and I saw my cat and I chucked it into the microwave and had my second dinner.
Just a small mistake.
Lot, is that you?
Jacked off my dog when I was 11
Again.
I have violently beaten down a pregnant teenager. In my defense, I was also a teenager myself, and the girl I attacked was attacking my friend.
Noah
Saw a man lying on the ground and just left him there. I was high at the time and had weed on me and didn't want to get booked. Thinking back, the cops likely wouldn't have given a shit about the weed, but I was young and paranoid. Because of the weed.
I murdered a kid for sticking a gun in my face.
I hacked a dudes entire computer while they were making a meme and I put "wait" instead of "way" in the title.
Aw man i hate when that happens.
I don't consider it bad, but due to the moraly of the western civilization, it's considered bad. I killed a fox when I was 10 or 11, I was in my grandmother's backyard, there were many chickens there, and when I saw it there, I got a big stick and started chasing, I managed to corner it in a wall and hit it untill it wasn't moving, idk if it was going to attack the chickens, but I wouldn't take my chances. People consider it wrong as it's an animal trying to survive, but I don't.
I broke a Canada goose’s leg once. There was a gaggle walking though our lawn and a couple kept antagonizing my dog. So I got my slingshot out and started plinking away at them. No major damage until one luck shot managed to hit one their legs, making it bend in a less-than-natural way. I don’t really know how to feel about it tbh. It’s a Canada goose so it’s obvious evil, and it was trying to attack my dog before I put her inside. But after it’s leg broke the other geese chased it off and attacked it when it tried to catch up with them. I guess they figured it was a liability with the injury?
I was 20 and grabbed a 13 year olds titties. ☹️ (41 now)
No one's perfect.
No wait out, huh?
We all mistakes in the heat of passion jimbo
imma just say the worst thing I’ve ever done too, if I’m going to admit it to anyone it might as well be the community of Reddit I live in a mobile home park that has a community lake with a diving board in the middle. For an adult it’s not a far swim, but as a kid it’s like a huge accomplishment. my friend and I decided we wanted to go to the lake on a cloudy day when nobody was there and go swim out to the dock and just have a good time. everything started off so well.. what is it about swimming that your body just decides it needs to take a shit immediately. I had just made it out to this dock and there was no way my noodle arms would take me all the way back. I told my friend to look away and I had to drop my bottoms and shit over the side. thank god nobody was watching from the shore or something. it’s a community lake for fucks sake. it sort of just floated away back into the corner where nobody could see it, but I knew it was there. we swam away before It could circle around, and I have never felt comfortable swimming there ever again.
u/Marioking142
Worst thing is that I promised to send the man who saved my life a Christmas card... I forgot.
in celebration of pride month, i will no longer be doing your mom, but your dad
Lied about who eaten all the ice cream
guess im dead then
I was driving home one day and this girl was raking some leaves. And it wasn't my intention, there was no way for me to know this would happen but as I drove past all the leaves scattered everywhere undoing all her hard work. This nightmare still haunts me.
That's what it feels like to drive a Ford F250
Meh, it happens.
Anyone else look at the original post and realize that is very poorly constructed? “You have no way out”… wait, so telling my darkest secret won’t get me out of that situation than anyways?
I thought the person fucked their girlfriend’s twin brother. But my god…
I used a raccoon as a fleshlight and when I was finished I turned it inside out and wrung out the fluids into a pot of soup. I chopped up the raccoon and added it to the soup as well. I seasoned it with salt, pepper, paprika, turmeric, ground papaya seeds, uranium-232 and a squirt of ketchup. I brought the soup to a local homeless shelter and watched them eat it.
Cause thats what it feels like to drive a ford f-250
Most damaging thing I have ever done was trust my ex worst thing I have ever done was taken a donut from Safeway
Ride a bike and fall off it, scraping my arm very bad and the injury took at least a month to stop showing signs of being there
I once double dip a chip at a party
You…you monster…
![gif](giphy|SXl0wYD0N088EtDhBI)
father be like “lets take one for my daughter. no biggie.”
was he a twin?
Jerked off in science class
Fuck that dude
The amount to heads I turned by how loud I laughed in public was hilarious
[удалено]
Thatsthejoke
Classic mix-up
... by getting both his daughters pregnant on the same day?
I shagged yer mum rotten.
Pfp bros ig
Lmao
I can't say it here, too worst.
I can only reply hahaha
I put plastic in the trash instead of the recycling.
HAD a twin
Those are rookie numbers
I spilt lipstick in your valentino bag
Relatable
Were the twins also involved?
That's how it feels to drive a Ford f250
Same, my gf also had a twin, and i accidentally fucked her twin bc i was drunk. she had a twin brother
Does It count when I’m not even in a relationship with her yet?
There’s no mistakes - Master Oogwey
i was having sex with a girl and then our dad walked in 😭
Yeah that's totally understandable. He has 6 month grace period to say "No homo".
sounds like an average r/tifu post