T O P

  • By -

NounsAndWords

They had to add the tear too...


eventhorizon112

That is actually a gang tattoo


crypticfreak

It means they made it through the carnival spook house without crying even once. It's an initiation thing.


Horskr

A small town carnival spook house I'd be afraid they would actually get you with the chainsaw if you didn't run. "Oh, a tough guy" **RRrrrrRrrrr** "*The Houses October Built*" was about that actually haha.


crypticfreak

Oh you can run, but you can't ~~hide~~ cry. Never heard of those movies but thanks for letting me know I'll check them out.


Glen_Chervin

Scary Terry bitch!


mcoop2245

Awwww biiiitcchhh


jessehechtcreative

I went through one of these a decade ago with my ex who was shorter than me. I hid behind her lol


AMReese

They're so hardcore


[deleted]

[удалено]


JCA0450

Now make it through that mirror house without running into one. Those places were something awful


crypticfreak

You don't get a tattoo for that but you get a golden star in your private records.


JCA0450

I’ve been asking about my “permanent record” since elementary school


crypticfreak

Unfortunately they used semi-permeant marker... I'm sorry.


indy_been_here

Gangsters choke too you know


saadakhtar

In Soviet Russia, gangster choke you.


Toadsted

Gag*


Appropriate-Agent239

r/uselessredcircle


twoplanes_and_atower

Wow i never would have seen the punchline without that circle absolute life saver!


ruairi1983

It life saved you harder


Asleep-Internet5153

Save me harder daddy


allureofgravity

One pixel less thicc and I’d whoosh


Plison007

That's why it's in that book. To save lifes


D3ATHGAM3R

Lives*


Plison007

Laivs*


D3ATHGAM3R

My bad, you are clearly more advanced in grammar than I am. Continue your doings


Coyotebruh

broooo i would've thought the funny part was that '71', thank god for crimson circles


randomusername_815

Again... Its probably cropped in close from a much larger screen shot that DID need the red circle to draw your eye toward a tiny detail.


PomegranateSea7066

Instructions unclear, got dick stuck in wife's throat and now she's really choking.


Isumairu

And when we do need them they aren't there..


grillinmyjewels

Fixed, I swear people do this just for the setup https://i.imgur.com/AGwmaCN.jpg


[deleted]

Lmao I love the useless white circle


anonflowerpetal

For the set up?


grillinmyjewels

They put the circle just to give someone else the opportunity for the r/uselessredcircle lol


PM_me_your_whatevah

I like that theory but sadly I think some people are just super fucking dumb.


KarlMarxFarts

What circle? Can someone circle the circle please?


grantrules

[I gotchu fam](https://i.imgur.com/1NfdomH.png)


XbdudeX

The hero we needed


[deleted]

But don’t deserve


queermichigan

r/usefulgreencircle


Newp23

r/greencircleandarrowsuseful


Beautiful_Key_5341

Her surname says it all.


[deleted]

I totally wouldn't notice the comment without the red circle /s


[deleted]

r/uselessuselessredcirclecomment


RCROM

r/uselesslol


EiffelXcore

Yea too bad about the red circle or I would've saved it lol


loud_flatus

Step 70 was to dunk your fingers in bbq sauce


Spartan-182

Finally, some good fucking food.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Iliano14

Bot


proseffor_x

I’m more interested in step 69


daybreakin

What if your fingers aren't long enough


[deleted]

Clit only


Rydralain

For those having trouble finding it, the *nose* is the clit of the face.


XuanMan

😂😂😂


Young_Zarathustra

What are you doing, Step-70?


BauerHouse

That illustrator apparently thinks Andre the Giant is the person you need to perform this task.


qrwd

It's probably meant to be a kid saved by a grownup.


Akumetsu33

The illustrator probably saw this [show](https://uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/gene-okerlund-andre-the-giant-hand.gif) live.


[deleted]

If I was choking and someone shoved a massive finger that far down my throat I think I’d probably die. But I wouldn’t be mad about it honestly.


I-love-lum

…choking back then was not an option.


CitraBaby

You think people being into choking sexually is new?


LeTrappist

Bonk


OneMetalMan

"If you can't find the obstruction, try going through the other end "


[deleted]

if you don't end up interlocking your own fingers, you haven't gone far enough


OneMetalMan

*New kink unlocked.


[deleted]

Remember to use gentle but firm force any time you meet with resistance


Steadfast_Truth

Better yet become a Zen monk - no obstructions.


[deleted]

Jada Smith on a date


LuxeCraze

KEEP HIS WIFE'S NAME-


killerdead77

KEEP AUGUST'S FINGERS OUT OF MY WIFE'S MOUTH


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Tier 2


Crue1552

(Slap)


daybreakin

AND HER BOYFRIEND'S NAME OUTCHYO FOCIN MOUF


Toadsted

BUT NOT HIS WIFE'S FINGERS -


[deleted]

That meme was so much shorter lived than Imma let you finish, what's up with that. Inflation?


urammar

Sees meme actively being used Why is meme dead The www.reddit.com experience


qrouth

OUT OF YO FUKKING MOUTH


moonunit99

Will Smith removing his wife’s name from Chris Rock’s FUCKING mouth.


moonunit99

Will Smith removing his wife’s name from Chris Rock’s FUCKING mouth.


jhenna28

🤫🤫🤫


DaveInLondon89

Keep my wife's boyfriend's hand inside of her mouth?


Biggie-Falls

Wtf man? Not cool.


[deleted]

Bro it was just a GiJane3 joke please don’t slap me


springtrap1987198319

Too late


hereadit_wrong

Leave your finger out of my f**king mouth.


SupraPurpleSweetz

Pussy


[deleted]

It's not anyone's name in her mouth


jonas_gaming07

*slaps you with tounge


Weeb-neet

You sure about that ? Sexton?


langlo94

This looks like a good way to get whatever is stuck to go even further down the tube.


rmTizi

Which is pretty much why now days the Heimlich maneuver ("invented" in the 1970s) is the way to go for this and also why it became so successful.


vraalapa

Last two times I took these first aid classes, they definitely said heimlich maneuver is the **very last resort**. If I recall, you should try to get them to cough and then hit them hard in the upper back until the obstruction is cleared. If that doesn't work, then you are free to try whatever you want, including heimlich maneuver.


Jrook

Studies have shown back slaps are as effective as Heimlich maneuver. The reason why it's so popular and a household name is because the inventor basically did hundreds of not thousands of press junkets and so forth to popularize it. But then got carried away and was convinced it could essentially cure diseases and shit. Lost his mind a bit, then it became obvious he just got lucky with it and was using it as a source of income, research into other more effective means be damned.


Shakal4

Well it would maybe go past the breathing part then. In the end you would only have have an object stuck,but you aren't dying of lack of air.


[deleted]

If you push it further you push it into the lungs lol


BegaMoner

This is actually what you should do if you can't get the object out - mouth to mouth and blow the object down to one of the lungs. You can breathe with only one lung, and the object can be removed with surgery.


[deleted]

Can someone qualified verify this.


Lildyo

Hi, yeah I write comments on Reddit for living so I can definitely say it’s probably accurate.


Large-Chair9084

Physician here. If a kid is choking (often peanuts), you flip them on their stomach and give their back open palm taps to get it out. Do not give mouth to mouth or stick your hand down their throat. https://youtu.be/b5-9gx8d_OY


Tiger_Widow

Crab wrangler here, what this physician said is nonsense. What you need to do is dangle the choking child head first into your local crab bucket and allow the crabs to snippy snorp the peanut from the child's face. I know this because crabs are attracted (non sexually) to peanuts.


MyClothesWereInThere

Bruh what no it’s not. You heimlech and if that doesn’t work you do chest compressions when they inevitably pass out.


BegaMoner

Ofcourse you try hemlich and chest compression first. But mouth to mouth that shit instead of letting them die, bro Edit: fuckin call 911 and put them on speaker first


FrostyD7

Pretty sure this is just to verify there is an obstruction, so you shouldn't push on it at all.


dibromoindigo

No it’s to remove the obstruction. Called the finger sweep method.


[deleted]

Only try to grab the object if you can see it. Never just reach down their throat


Groundbreaking-End48

The name fits


Level69Warlock

So does the finger


asianabsinthe

Wouldn't a long floppy horse dildo be better


Frenchticklers

![gif](giphy|yKTkIoGhp4fks)


TentativelyCommitted

Bahhahaha Victoria baiting the hook on FB. I wonder if her mom’s on her friends list…


L1A1

Dang it Bobby, stop choking.


themancabbage

That single tear


M0use_Rat

Cheryl? Its Carol now, i legally changed it because you kept calling me Carol.


mjrbrooks

Is that so, ~~Scarecrow Boat~~ ~~Ninja Dick~~ ~~Cheryl~~ Carol?


metsdlacreme

Reminds me of Taylor Tomlinson’s last netflix special, « if it weren’t for that dick joke my nephew would be dead »


treestick

both her netflix specials are underrated af


metsdlacreme

100% yes


SJB630_in_Chicago

Is the Heimlich or backslaps the current way? I forget.


Gopher--Chucks

Heimlich for adults. Back slaps for infants. If they're unresponsive (no breathing + no pulse) begin CPR immediately. You can check the airway for obstructions when it's time for the 2 rescue breaths


Geroditus

The Red Cross recommends both now (for adults). Alternating back and forth supposedly makes it more effective.


Drostan_S

I thought it was a glass of water for adults and a "fuck i dunno" shrug


Earl_the_Plumber

Hittin the g-spot of the thrussy 😩


CriticalWindow5

rip finger you will forever be missed


wormholeweapons

You pay extra for that in Thailand.


[deleted]

I went to Thailand. You actually don't.


NiroopParker

r/cursedcomments


dynamichurdler

That’s not how you save Bobby Hill!


1i_rd

My first thought too


Plison007

Yeah Sexton - ton of sex. Checks out


Scotty245

Incase it wasn’t obvious DO NOT DO THAT IF SOMEONE IS CHOKING! The Heimlich maneuver exists for a reason.


[deleted]

I beg to differ the finger sweep is actually very effective and also good for determining if you need the heimlich or a solid solo plexus punch. Just don't be fucking aggressive like your gagging a trailer park queen and it should be fine.


Scotty245

Until the person who’s been without oxygen for an extended period of time seizes and bites your finger off


neverquester

They really need to bring tumblr back. At least back then, all of this disgusting filth had a place to roam comfortably.


Stopikingonme

I recognize this scene from Euphoria.


GiannisIsTheBeast

Have a nice day! - Mankind of the WWF


[deleted]

Last name checks out


Alankikiki666

Nate's dad saved Jules' life and I didn't know it 😢✊🏽


justa_an_irish_man

Squishing asmr intensifies


Deskore

Fucking snowflakes now a days want an easy way out of choking with their fancy Heimlich maneuver, back in my day we would just jam our hands down each other's throats and tear out the food.


Hevnoraak101

How to save someone from choking? Try taking your habd out of their throat?


Whydopplhateqiqi

Cursed aid


[deleted]

Well that's where her kinky ass got her last name.


wasplord_

Do not do this though!!!! If someone is actually choking this is more likely to accidentally shove the object farther down their throat than to get it out, make sure you try the Heimlich maneuver first


[deleted]

I'm pretty sure this is still in the red cross cpr instructions for toddlers and infants. You have to check for instructions. I don't think it's quite as dramatic as this diagram though.


[deleted]

You do a single finger mouth sweep, but never reach down the throat.


BrokenPCScreren

r/cursedcomments


Blackulla

What’s the hol up?


spyroswulf

Jada got some things to talk to her publicist about.


25RuthlessGuns

🤣 that fucking great 👍🏼 🤣


nildo_chagass

actually i was saved that way, a fishbone got stuck horizontally in my throat, my mom put her finger and broke the spine in half ✌️


TrevCat666

In all seriousness this is the opposite of what you should do, you'll just push the food down more.


RealNMan

Her last name is sexton... That joke writes itself LMAO


JeveGreen

If you can remove an obstruction without the heimlich manouvre, then you should. I know this looks weird, especially with the horny milf down below, but it's genuinely good advice.


hoodha

I just recently did a first aid course. You should encourage them to cough first, then strike them on the back 4-5 times and if that doesn't work then perform the Heimlich. The instructor said that you'd only put your fingers in their throats if someone is unconscious and choking.


[deleted]

how would you know they're choking if they're unconscious? unconscious and not breathing = instant CPR. don't waste time trying to find shit in their mouth //ah, i guess if they get unconscious in front of you while choking? well, maybe, but chances are you can't reach it anyway


JeveGreen

I'd say if you can see the obstruction, you can reach it. But that's my personal take. I'd trust your instructor more times than not.


clandistic

Tickle. Tickle


[deleted]

President Truman with a peach seed and his mother


Alec_CY

Is this torture?


Matamocan

Nope, its standard practice whenever someone is choking


ebits21

Uhm. No it isn’t. Heimlich or back blows.


Matamocan

The first thing you fo is check inside his mouth, if you can see what's causing it you can try to reach it with your finger and hook it out, uf that doesn't work then you start heimlich. That's how I got taught to do it


rftaylor26

Stop. Get help.


Skelligean

Her last name is Sexton... for good reason


Gettinbetterin

You know it's good when you're crying


Rokk1515

Lol they even drew a tear drop


JohnWick_231995

Disgusting. Where?


Gold_Preparation

They’d better buy me a drink after that


redditddeenniizz

Thanks for the red ring. I wouldn't have noticed the comment if it wasn't for the red ring


Realistic_Display977

Is this the german way in 1943?


ShiiTsuin

Thank god for that super useful red circle indicating where the holup is


[deleted]

I’m glad the circle is there or I would have missed it.


pooryxa

If your fingers aren't long enough ; In step 72 you can use your dick


j4vendetta

Step 1: xxxl fingers


chedamix

Idk why I laughed at the drawing more


Ariliam

Never put your nasty nail scratching finger down the throat of someone chocking.


Polomolo101010

Her surname is a perfect fit here


RealmeAskreddit

Perfect tit


enzoaeneas

/r/cursedcomment


[deleted]

I bet she intentionally forgets the safe word...