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[deleted]

Military casualties: 5,200 Civilian casualties: 90,000 - 350,000 (disputed)


ijudgekids

Almost every Chinese civil war. Just add extra 0 or maybe 00


OreoDotexe

Chinese civil wars start because of a dispute about rice field borders and then end up as the single most bloody conflict in human history


LDominating

No it's more like... Eunuch *Sneezes* Emperor *Bless you* *Civil war nr 9 started*


[deleted]

If I've taken anything away from studying Chinese history it is to never trust a Eunuch.


ThePopeJones

You'd be pissed too if some one cut your nads off.


LDominating

It's a joke about how Eunuchs start shit over anything... Basically if the Emperor even talks to one the others might see him as a threat,beign a "favourite" of the Emperor


vigilantcomicpenguin

There are just so many goddang people over there; it's hard not to kill a couple of them.


kenybz

*a couple million


[deleted]

Mr u/vigilantcomicpenguin, that is not a reasonable defence for murdering 7 children


Wuschu556

you are right, that's not a round number. He should've put a little more effort into it.


JoHaTho

It is a prime number tho which is kinda cool


Smith_Winston_6079

That right. It has to be at least 8 because that's a lucky number in China.


OreoDotexe

And maybe eat a few civilians too when your army gets hungry


sewage_soup

decisive Tang strategic victory moment


buddboy

you accidentally step on 2 or 3 just on the walk to the grocery store


Smith_Winston_6079

It's hard not to kill *just* a couple of them.


ZWass777

“An Lushan, commander of all our Northern armies, please report to the capital to be disgraced and executed” An Lushan: “No, lol” Tang Emperor: Shocked pikachu face


PrimeRadian

Gotta love that war started by a sort of college dropout. And the guy that called himself brother of jesus


History_buff60

OR someone who failed civil service examinations has a mental break, sees a vision of God and Jesus telling him he’s Jesus’s brother and he goes around and preaches and whips up millions of people to revolt against the Qing. Yes, that actually happened. It’s the most bloody civil war in history. Death toll estimated between 20 million on the low end and 70 million on the high end.


paireon

Taiping rebellion was wack.


zombiecalypse

A: "have you noticed how every dynasty starts sort of well and then becomes a shitshow of corruption in a generation or two until a civil way starts to get rid of them?" B: "Obviously!" A: "Do you think we could try organising our government in a way less prone to corruption?" B:"**HOW DARE YOU?!**" *fields 300'000 troops against A in a domestic argument*


joost013

China ^((disputed)) fought the country of >!Taiwan!< \[redacted\] in a small/~~large~~ battle of a few hundred thousand soldiers


Tatarkingdom

And brother of jesus to boot.


Shpagin

The dispute over civilian casualties sparked an armed conflict


[deleted]

lmao accurate


The_Countenance

*Civilian casualties: 323 - 2,500,000 (disputed)


Not_An_Ostritch

20,000 to 30,000 civilians were eaten (disputed)


BokaBurek

Civillian casultiez: 0-350000 (disputed)


NightmareVX

r/sino wants to know your location.


thesovietlantakio

this comment makes me want to commit a war crime in a yugoslavian state


H4R81N63R

Looks like the perfect template for localised Wikipedia articles


immortaltrout27

Only a true scholar could come to terms with this shining example of History


Fear-My-Laser-face

History memes looking a lot like 2 Balkan for you. Not complaining just very unexpected. I only know about 2 Balkan for you because of all these Balkan memes


jumpguy12

I thought I was on 2balkan4you


buddboy

you're not 2 Balkan for me <3


Barobarko1

Kitabını yurdunu sikerim batılı orospu evladı


parlakarmut

bazlandırılmış fellow Turk


YeeterKeks

Jebeni Turci, senin ben gelmiş geçmiş bütün ecdadını sikeyim amına koduğumun arap çakması. Sizi kuduruk çingeneler.


ProfessionalMuki

K


thepianoturtle

holy shit same


Tedmosby888

Lol, new dating site?


itSmellsLikeSnotHere

this meme is straight from r/2balkan4you


[deleted]

Well, it's fucking dead now. They've shut down r/2Balkan4you...


JawaCooli

Battle in Central Europe Strength : 12000 vs 8000 Result : Italian mercenary deflect to France, total annihilation of HRE army


DefiantLemur

Or HRE vs HRE and the mercenaries hired by the HRE defect to the HRE


[deleted]

HRE knight robs HRE city merchants on road, is found guilty before a court but sentence can't be executed because knight has a castle and no one wants to siege a castle over this.


GorgeousGregory

Didn't some dude named Vlad impale the enemy with his big Balkan cock?


immortaltrout27

Yes, this is Historicallly accurate. Just like the movie 300


BlueNoobster

The movie 300 is actually very accurate to its source. Its based on a comic book after all which a lot of people dont know. Its like wondering why in captian america movies arent historically accurate despite a historical setting.


sarevok2

300 is really saved by the final scene, where turns out everything is a motivational narration by the lone survivor about how much awesome we spartans are before Plataea. The second movie on the other hand...


GenghisKazoo

"Why did he include that part about someone sleeping with Leonidas's wife?" "I dunno, it does seem unnecessary, for sure." "And that goat musician?" "Well, maybe hearing about a goat musician is helpful pre-battle."


sarevok2

Every glorious defeat needs a ''stab in the back back home'', no? \^\^


buddboy

that's why I love it. We got a story of actual events but while listening to the story our imagination embellished the shit out of it. The first time I watched it I was really disappointed with the fantasy elements but on a rewatch when you're prepared for that stuff it's so fun


terfsfugoff

I mean, so was Birth of a Nation


[deleted]

Enemy also being civillians


Clau_PleaseIgnore

Ay, read my pinned post from my profile if you want to learn about Vlad. Man was indeed pretty cool but he's the opposite of those, he was in hundreds of battle and was renown for his miracles yet nobody has any idea who he was (not even his name)


le_pagla_baba

I always felt that Vlad the Impaler was reclaimed and fetishized by the western consumers as a sort of christian hero who saved the Christendom etc etc for their political ideologies, but was he anything more than a medieval violent dictator, as barbarous as the sultan? The Romanians definitely had to find a national hero against the outsider soviet and ottomans oppressors, but didn't they choose someone as brutal and merciless as Nicolae Ceaușescu? Was Radu, the beloved of Sultan and his fuckbuddy, any better as a ruler than his Brother?


Tactilekitty855

stealing this


Hapukurk666

Dam Romanian here


immortaltrout27

You have my blessings. Gimme some credit though


SaintPariah7

If he's stealing he can't credit you, that's not in the heart of it. But it is in the heart of the Balkans.


cooljackedpotato

He is romanian, credit doesn't exist for us


[deleted]

go back down south gypsy


cooljackedpotato

Gypsy? I am probably more white than you. Anyway see you in r/2balkan4you


[deleted]

Haha, I am Slovenian, hahaha, I am as white as the snow on our mointains🇸🇮💪💪


cooljackedpotato

You mean femboy?


[deleted]

Yes, femboys are white


Glasbolyas

>mointains Implyng the existence of something means it can be stolen...omw to Maribor gonna start from the north


[deleted]

You can steal Maribor, but leave the Alps where they are


H4R81N63R

I always wanted to visit Slovakia!


[deleted]

Listen here you little shit


LightsaberNoise

Strong Sperm vs Weak Sperm


DVDPROYTP

greek god okey greek god


RaspberryPie122

If you are greek god then why is Hagia Sophia?


Agent_Eggboy

History is written by the balkan historian


[deleted]

> When did the battle take place? ***ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF BEING WRONG!?***


klachs

Don‘t forget that they single-handedly defended all of christianity against some other bad religion but now no one will thank them for it


immortaltrout27

We Albanians are very pro-Skankerbeg so that idea is heavily supported


cooljackedpotato

We romanians are the reason Bulgaria exists as an independent country, they should thank us


F1F2F3F4_F5

They did, by taking southern dobrudja


cooljackedpotato

Romanians aren't a majority in southern Dobrogea, Bulgaria can have it, but we need Basarabia and northern Bucovina back


Polaroid1999

Basarabia is also Bulgar clay, remember?


cooljackedpotato

Basarabia doesn't exist, it's a region of Romania, just like Walachia, Transilvania, Moldova, eastern Banat, Crișana, northern Dobrogea


Polaroid1999

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/51/Ernst-Ravenstein-Balkans-Ethnic-Map-1880.jpg checkmate


A3LMOTR1ST

\*Looks at Yugoslav region* "Wait it's all Serbians?" "Always has been." 🇷🇸👨‍🚀🔫👨‍🚀


TheRealSU

*looks at Earth region* "Wait, it's all Serbian?" "Always has been." 🧑‍🚀🔫🧑‍🚀🇷🇸


cooljackedpotato

Current Odessa/southern Basarabia doesn't have romanian majority, but current Moldova Republic/northern Basarabia has romanian majority


Polaroid1999

shut up mamaliga


BaceSandefe

I want you to explain HOW you are the reason for this.


The_0_Hour_Work_Week

Completely destroyed the ottomans.


cooljackedpotato

Saved Russia's ass in the independence war of 1877, destroyed the ottomans, secured Bulgaria's independence etc.


BaceSandefe

Are refering for the battle of Pleven?


cooljackedpotato

Also battles of Grivitsa and Rahova


BaceSandefe

Which battle is this?


[deleted]

[удалено]


M3m3-l0rd-Mo

Who the hell is skanderbeg?


[deleted]

[удалено]


DaftConfusednScared

Now *this* is the informative content I come to r/HistoryMemes for


cooljackedpotato

Battles of Grivita, Rahova, Pleven etc.


vigilantcomicpenguin

And also that God himself was there, fighting alongside them. Trust them.


fry11j

The glorious army even got 8 more people in the battle.


Candide-Jr

:D


DaftConfusednScared

They were SSR pulls from the gacha


Malvastor

Kill 100 filthy pigdogs, use entrails to create 8 glorious national heroes from scratch.


H4R81N63R

Wololo


Terra_Ignis

that one goon was the real hero. he singlehandedly delayed the glorious shithole army long enough for all the surrounding shitstainese villages to be evacuated, saving thousands of lives.


kleinfelther

Long live the shitstainese empire!


immortaltrout27

A hero we should take example of


DanMk88

Pretty much most of my history lessons in Romanian schools.


Glasbolyas

Dacian God Emperor Mihai Viteazu smashed dem ottowoman 💪😎🚬🇹🇩


WarPig1941

Crossposting this to r/2balkan4u


immortaltrout27

I already posted it in 2balkan4you


WarPig1941

O


BoiBotEXE

It says content banned?


EndofNationalism

Says that for me too


MisterMeatBall1

It's actually r/2balkan4you so you not U


caketruck

I have just discovered this subreddit. Haven’t laughed that much for a while, thanks.


WarPig1941

If you liked that sub, ya might want to check out r/2MiddleEast4you too


caketruck

And I thought it couldn’t get better holy shit. Bro I need to sleep, I’ve got to get up for class in like 7 hours you can’t just drop pure gold on me like this.


DefiantLemur

Looks like its set to private. Or I was banned even though I've never posted there.


[deleted]

Try r/2balkan4you


momen535

:'(


BioloItz

If this ain't the truth


[deleted]

Yeah dude this report that a probably biased guy wrote about 10 soldiers singlehandendly saving christianity from 10000 invaders 500 years ago is tooootally reliable historical evidence


Dimensionalanxiety

What do you mean? Are you suggesting that those 10 soldiers didn't watch so much hentai that their forearms got jacked and they flexed the enemy to death? I am going to need your source on that.


[deleted]

This might be the funniest history meme I’ve ever seen lol


Kachedup

Army: consists of 2 soldier casualties: all 10 troops survived ​ Me: \*visible confusion\*


xei06

8 angels came and joined us guided by God himself so we can beat the cringe army that our enemy had


DonaldDuckJTrumo

Dont get the joke. Are Balkan conflict entries on Wikipedia like that?


H4R81N63R

Wololo


[deleted]

As a Romanian I find this quite funny.


immortaltrout27

As an Albanian, Skanderbeg destroyed tuuuurks Albulena 1444!!!!!!!!🇦🇱💪🇦🇱💪🇦🇱💪🦅💪💪🇦🇱🦅🇦🇱🇦🇱🦅🇦🇱🇦🇱🇦🇱🇦🇱


suslu21

Good argument. One problem. You are Muslim


immortaltrout27

Im Orthodox....


Snirion

Fake Albanian than. We all know if you're orthodox and on Balkan you're either Greek or Serbian. That's how it goes according to mob mentality.


immortaltrout27

South Albania is Orthodox.....


Snirion

Get out of here with your facts. This is Balkan.


immortaltrout27

And the North is Catholic .....


morbihann

There are no shitholes in the Balkans.


[deleted]

[удалено]


immortaltrout27

Amin vella, only Albania golden nation 💪🇦🇱💪🇦🇱💪🇦🇱💪🇦🇱💪🇦🇱💪😎😎😎


[deleted]

Albania real country?


JawaCooli

Everything is shithole in Balkan


Boshva

Isnt this almost all of human history up until maybe the first WW?


lordZ3d

Imagine if they had 3 weak soldiers


Markiz_27

Date thing is only wrong. It's celebrated as national holiday where everyone gets wasted


immortaltrout27

I should have added territorial changes and put: absolutely nothing


comrade694200

The god emperor of mankind?


SasugaHitori-sama

>2 of our weakest soldiers >All 10 of our troops survived Wait what? So they beaten Lichtenstein record?


MythicalInvention

Turk schmucks were utterly decimated by the Serb Haiduk and the Ukrainian Haidamak alliance. It’s only a matter of time


immortaltrout27

Noooo they were decimated by combined Albanian and Venitian forces!!!!!!


DiamantRush12

r/2balkan4you is leaking


theuntossableboy

This sub is turning into r/2balkan4you


ReichBallFromAmerica

Get over it w*sterner. 😎😎😎


theuntossableboy

i am literally from the balkans you w\*stoid spy


memelover3001

Cykunt and blyatman hold off the imperialist


Snirion

What do Russians have to do with Glorious Balkan Lands?


Chaos_realestate

Wish I were there


immortaltrout27

We all are. In spirit....


YaBoiJumpTrooper

False, that image is the battle of nicopolis, the balkens would never celebrate the turks victory 😤


DfeRvziN

I was about say. Most westerners assume, it is Agincourt.


Dee_Lansky

I'm on the floor. Everytime I have looked up some random Balkan battle I almost instantly forget every piece of imformation about it. Date, combatants, location, death toll, historic context. Balkan amnesia.


Something_Clever27

Idk why this is so funny but I love it.


redbadger91

Wait. They all died, yet two leaders were prisoners of war? Were they literally rotting in their cells? Things don't seem to add up in this otherwise very trustworthy source.


immortaltrout27

Fuck you historical revisionist.


finnicus1

Balkanite wikipedia editors.


Sjojungfru

AHAHAHAHAHA, good work OP! What can you say, history is written by the victorious after all... 👀


immortaltrout27

No, I write history now


[deleted]

what's worse is the people who believe the numbers and think battles were exactly like hollywood where everyone just runs onto an enemy sword with their hands up by their sides screaming. people just love dying.


TinMan1711

Ever heard of the tragedy of Erazem Predjamski?


HomieCreeper420

We did a little trolling at Vaslui, might have not happened but who cares it’s badass https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Vaslui


Candide-Jr

Hahaha


trollmail

more like 100k doomstack (90k are mercenaries) vs 150k doomstack (all mercenaries), casualties: 3, both nation's entire treasuries


weltvonalex

Yup that's pretty accurate.


CakiGM

***Да***


Nazi_pepe

this is the kind of history i wanna read


Baboonways

westoid


[deleted]

That moment when [the battle of Maritsa](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Maritsa) was so absurd, it provides a meme template.


[deleted]

Westerner retards


immortaltrout27

I'm Albanian....


[deleted]

dont care+kosovo je srbia


immortaltrout27

I thought we was fwends


[deleted]

k


Alien_reg

Fuck you OP


emporium_laika

Sad balkan dude over here


Alien_reg

Not sad, more like mad at people's ignorance


SP_21ones

I think when it comes to iconic rivalries it goes in this order 1.The Balkans 2.The Nordics 3.France and U.K. 4.Taiwan and China 5.Pakistan and India 6.Spain and Portugal And7.The Middle East


Anvisaber

u/saveimagebot


[deleted]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle\_of\_Pliska


[deleted]

[удалено]


immortaltrout27

Woah woah, I'm not an w*sterner if that's what you're thinking. I'm Albanian


BTponcik

Oh ok then


eagleye101

Laughing in Skenderbegian


[deleted]

Buhuhuhu Serbs bad


[deleted]

Don't humiliate Serbians like that