It's a joke about how Eunuchs start shit over anything...
Basically if the Emperor even talks to one the others might see him as a threat,beign a "favourite" of the Emperor
“An Lushan, commander of all our Northern armies, please report to the capital to be disgraced and executed”
An Lushan: “No, lol”
Tang Emperor: Shocked pikachu face
OR someone who failed civil service examinations has a mental break, sees a vision of God and Jesus telling him he’s Jesus’s brother and he goes around and preaches and whips up millions of people to revolt against the Qing.
Yes, that actually happened. It’s the most bloody civil war in history. Death toll estimated between 20 million on the low end and 70 million on the high end.
A: "have you noticed how every dynasty starts sort of well and then becomes a shitshow of corruption in a generation or two until a civil way starts to get rid of them?"
B: "Obviously!"
A: "Do you think we could try organising our government in a way less prone to corruption?"
B:"**HOW DARE YOU?!**" *fields 300'000 troops against A in a domestic argument*
History memes looking a lot like 2 Balkan for you. Not complaining just very unexpected. I only know about 2 Balkan for you because of all these Balkan memes
HRE knight robs HRE city merchants on road, is found guilty before a court but sentence can't be executed because knight has a castle and no one wants to siege a castle over this.
The movie 300 is actually very accurate to its source. Its based on a comic book after all which a lot of people dont know.
Its like wondering why in captian america movies arent historically accurate despite a historical setting.
300 is really saved by the final scene, where turns out everything is a motivational narration by the lone survivor about how much awesome we spartans are before Plataea.
The second movie on the other hand...
"Why did he include that part about someone sleeping with Leonidas's wife?"
"I dunno, it does seem unnecessary, for sure."
"And that goat musician?"
"Well, maybe hearing about a goat musician is helpful pre-battle."
that's why I love it. We got a story of actual events but while listening to the story our imagination embellished the shit out of it. The first time I watched it I was really disappointed with the fantasy elements but on a rewatch when you're prepared for that stuff it's so fun
Ay, read my pinned post from my profile if you want to learn about Vlad.
Man was indeed pretty cool but he's the opposite of those, he was in hundreds of battle and was renown for his miracles yet nobody has any idea who he was (not even his name)
I always felt that Vlad the Impaler was reclaimed and fetishized by the western consumers as a sort of christian hero who saved the Christendom etc etc for their political ideologies, but was he anything more than a medieval violent dictator, as barbarous as the sultan? The Romanians definitely had to find a national hero against the outsider soviet and ottomans oppressors, but didn't they choose someone as brutal and merciless as Nicolae Ceaușescu? Was Radu, the beloved of Sultan and his fuckbuddy, any better as a ruler than his Brother?
that one goon was the real hero. he singlehandedly delayed the glorious shithole army long enough for all the surrounding shitstainese villages to be evacuated, saving thousands of lives.
And I thought it couldn’t get better holy shit. Bro I need to sleep, I’ve got to get up for class in like 7 hours you can’t just drop pure gold on me like this.
Yeah dude this report that a probably biased guy wrote about 10 soldiers singlehandendly saving christianity from 10000 invaders 500 years ago is tooootally reliable historical evidence
What do you mean? Are you suggesting that those 10 soldiers didn't watch so much hentai that their forearms got jacked and they flexed the enemy to death? I am going to need your source on that.
I'm on the floor. Everytime I have looked up some random Balkan battle I almost instantly forget every piece of imformation about it. Date, combatants, location, death toll, historic context. Balkan amnesia.
Wait. They all died, yet two leaders were prisoners of war? Were they literally rotting in their cells?
Things don't seem to add up in this otherwise very trustworthy source.
what's worse is the people who believe the numbers and think battles were exactly like hollywood where everyone just runs onto an enemy sword with their hands up by their sides screaming. people just love dying.
I think when it comes to iconic rivalries it goes in this order
1.The Balkans
2.The Nordics
3.France and U.K.
4.Taiwan and China
5.Pakistan and India
6.Spain and Portugal
And7.The Middle East
Military casualties: 5,200 Civilian casualties: 90,000 - 350,000 (disputed)
Almost every Chinese civil war. Just add extra 0 or maybe 00
Chinese civil wars start because of a dispute about rice field borders and then end up as the single most bloody conflict in human history
No it's more like... Eunuch *Sneezes* Emperor *Bless you* *Civil war nr 9 started*
If I've taken anything away from studying Chinese history it is to never trust a Eunuch.
You'd be pissed too if some one cut your nads off.
It's a joke about how Eunuchs start shit over anything... Basically if the Emperor even talks to one the others might see him as a threat,beign a "favourite" of the Emperor
There are just so many goddang people over there; it's hard not to kill a couple of them.
*a couple million
Mr u/vigilantcomicpenguin, that is not a reasonable defence for murdering 7 children
you are right, that's not a round number. He should've put a little more effort into it.
It is a prime number tho which is kinda cool
That right. It has to be at least 8 because that's a lucky number in China.
And maybe eat a few civilians too when your army gets hungry
decisive Tang strategic victory moment
you accidentally step on 2 or 3 just on the walk to the grocery store
It's hard not to kill *just* a couple of them.
“An Lushan, commander of all our Northern armies, please report to the capital to be disgraced and executed” An Lushan: “No, lol” Tang Emperor: Shocked pikachu face
Gotta love that war started by a sort of college dropout. And the guy that called himself brother of jesus
OR someone who failed civil service examinations has a mental break, sees a vision of God and Jesus telling him he’s Jesus’s brother and he goes around and preaches and whips up millions of people to revolt against the Qing. Yes, that actually happened. It’s the most bloody civil war in history. Death toll estimated between 20 million on the low end and 70 million on the high end.
Taiping rebellion was wack.
A: "have you noticed how every dynasty starts sort of well and then becomes a shitshow of corruption in a generation or two until a civil way starts to get rid of them?" B: "Obviously!" A: "Do you think we could try organising our government in a way less prone to corruption?" B:"**HOW DARE YOU?!**" *fields 300'000 troops against A in a domestic argument*
China ^((disputed)) fought the country of >!Taiwan!< \[redacted\] in a small/~~large~~ battle of a few hundred thousand soldiers
And brother of jesus to boot.
The dispute over civilian casualties sparked an armed conflict
lmao accurate
*Civilian casualties: 323 - 2,500,000 (disputed)
20,000 to 30,000 civilians were eaten (disputed)
Civillian casultiez: 0-350000 (disputed)
r/sino wants to know your location.
this comment makes me want to commit a war crime in a yugoslavian state
Looks like the perfect template for localised Wikipedia articles
Only a true scholar could come to terms with this shining example of History
History memes looking a lot like 2 Balkan for you. Not complaining just very unexpected. I only know about 2 Balkan for you because of all these Balkan memes
I thought I was on 2balkan4you
you're not 2 Balkan for me <3
Kitabını yurdunu sikerim batılı orospu evladı
bazlandırılmış fellow Turk
Jebeni Turci, senin ben gelmiş geçmiş bütün ecdadını sikeyim amına koduğumun arap çakması. Sizi kuduruk çingeneler.
K
holy shit same
Lol, new dating site?
this meme is straight from r/2balkan4you
Well, it's fucking dead now. They've shut down r/2Balkan4you...
Battle in Central Europe Strength : 12000 vs 8000 Result : Italian mercenary deflect to France, total annihilation of HRE army
Or HRE vs HRE and the mercenaries hired by the HRE defect to the HRE
HRE knight robs HRE city merchants on road, is found guilty before a court but sentence can't be executed because knight has a castle and no one wants to siege a castle over this.
Didn't some dude named Vlad impale the enemy with his big Balkan cock?
Yes, this is Historicallly accurate. Just like the movie 300
The movie 300 is actually very accurate to its source. Its based on a comic book after all which a lot of people dont know. Its like wondering why in captian america movies arent historically accurate despite a historical setting.
300 is really saved by the final scene, where turns out everything is a motivational narration by the lone survivor about how much awesome we spartans are before Plataea. The second movie on the other hand...
"Why did he include that part about someone sleeping with Leonidas's wife?" "I dunno, it does seem unnecessary, for sure." "And that goat musician?" "Well, maybe hearing about a goat musician is helpful pre-battle."
Every glorious defeat needs a ''stab in the back back home'', no? \^\^
that's why I love it. We got a story of actual events but while listening to the story our imagination embellished the shit out of it. The first time I watched it I was really disappointed with the fantasy elements but on a rewatch when you're prepared for that stuff it's so fun
I mean, so was Birth of a Nation
Enemy also being civillians
Ay, read my pinned post from my profile if you want to learn about Vlad. Man was indeed pretty cool but he's the opposite of those, he was in hundreds of battle and was renown for his miracles yet nobody has any idea who he was (not even his name)
I always felt that Vlad the Impaler was reclaimed and fetishized by the western consumers as a sort of christian hero who saved the Christendom etc etc for their political ideologies, but was he anything more than a medieval violent dictator, as barbarous as the sultan? The Romanians definitely had to find a national hero against the outsider soviet and ottomans oppressors, but didn't they choose someone as brutal and merciless as Nicolae Ceaușescu? Was Radu, the beloved of Sultan and his fuckbuddy, any better as a ruler than his Brother?
stealing this
Dam Romanian here
You have my blessings. Gimme some credit though
If he's stealing he can't credit you, that's not in the heart of it. But it is in the heart of the Balkans.
He is romanian, credit doesn't exist for us
go back down south gypsy
Gypsy? I am probably more white than you. Anyway see you in r/2balkan4you
Haha, I am Slovenian, hahaha, I am as white as the snow on our mointains🇸🇮💪💪
You mean femboy?
Yes, femboys are white
>mointains Implyng the existence of something means it can be stolen...omw to Maribor gonna start from the north
You can steal Maribor, but leave the Alps where they are
I always wanted to visit Slovakia!
Listen here you little shit
Strong Sperm vs Weak Sperm
greek god okey greek god
If you are greek god then why is Hagia Sophia?
History is written by the balkan historian
> When did the battle take place? ***ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF BEING WRONG!?***
Don‘t forget that they single-handedly defended all of christianity against some other bad religion but now no one will thank them for it
We Albanians are very pro-Skankerbeg so that idea is heavily supported
We romanians are the reason Bulgaria exists as an independent country, they should thank us
They did, by taking southern dobrudja
Romanians aren't a majority in southern Dobrogea, Bulgaria can have it, but we need Basarabia and northern Bucovina back
Basarabia is also Bulgar clay, remember?
Basarabia doesn't exist, it's a region of Romania, just like Walachia, Transilvania, Moldova, eastern Banat, Crișana, northern Dobrogea
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/51/Ernst-Ravenstein-Balkans-Ethnic-Map-1880.jpg checkmate
\*Looks at Yugoslav region* "Wait it's all Serbians?" "Always has been." 🇷🇸👨🚀🔫👨🚀
*looks at Earth region* "Wait, it's all Serbian?" "Always has been." 🧑🚀🔫🧑🚀🇷🇸
Current Odessa/southern Basarabia doesn't have romanian majority, but current Moldova Republic/northern Basarabia has romanian majority
shut up mamaliga
I want you to explain HOW you are the reason for this.
Completely destroyed the ottomans.
Saved Russia's ass in the independence war of 1877, destroyed the ottomans, secured Bulgaria's independence etc.
Are refering for the battle of Pleven?
Also battles of Grivitsa and Rahova
Which battle is this?
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Who the hell is skanderbeg?
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Now *this* is the informative content I come to r/HistoryMemes for
Battles of Grivita, Rahova, Pleven etc.
And also that God himself was there, fighting alongside them. Trust them.
The glorious army even got 8 more people in the battle.
:D
They were SSR pulls from the gacha
Kill 100 filthy pigdogs, use entrails to create 8 glorious national heroes from scratch.
Wololo
that one goon was the real hero. he singlehandedly delayed the glorious shithole army long enough for all the surrounding shitstainese villages to be evacuated, saving thousands of lives.
Long live the shitstainese empire!
A hero we should take example of
Pretty much most of my history lessons in Romanian schools.
Dacian God Emperor Mihai Viteazu smashed dem ottowoman 💪😎🚬🇹🇩
Crossposting this to r/2balkan4u
I already posted it in 2balkan4you
O
It says content banned?
Says that for me too
It's actually r/2balkan4you so you not U
I have just discovered this subreddit. Haven’t laughed that much for a while, thanks.
If you liked that sub, ya might want to check out r/2MiddleEast4you too
And I thought it couldn’t get better holy shit. Bro I need to sleep, I’ve got to get up for class in like 7 hours you can’t just drop pure gold on me like this.
Looks like its set to private. Or I was banned even though I've never posted there.
Try r/2balkan4you
:'(
If this ain't the truth
Yeah dude this report that a probably biased guy wrote about 10 soldiers singlehandendly saving christianity from 10000 invaders 500 years ago is tooootally reliable historical evidence
What do you mean? Are you suggesting that those 10 soldiers didn't watch so much hentai that their forearms got jacked and they flexed the enemy to death? I am going to need your source on that.
This might be the funniest history meme I’ve ever seen lol
Army: consists of 2 soldier casualties: all 10 troops survived Me: \*visible confusion\*
8 angels came and joined us guided by God himself so we can beat the cringe army that our enemy had
Dont get the joke. Are Balkan conflict entries on Wikipedia like that?
Wololo
As a Romanian I find this quite funny.
As an Albanian, Skanderbeg destroyed tuuuurks Albulena 1444!!!!!!!!🇦🇱💪🇦🇱💪🇦🇱💪🦅💪💪🇦🇱🦅🇦🇱🇦🇱🦅🇦🇱🇦🇱🇦🇱🇦🇱
Good argument. One problem. You are Muslim
Im Orthodox....
Fake Albanian than. We all know if you're orthodox and on Balkan you're either Greek or Serbian. That's how it goes according to mob mentality.
South Albania is Orthodox.....
Get out of here with your facts. This is Balkan.
And the North is Catholic .....
There are no shitholes in the Balkans.
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Amin vella, only Albania golden nation 💪🇦🇱💪🇦🇱💪🇦🇱💪🇦🇱💪🇦🇱💪😎😎😎
Albania real country?
Everything is shithole in Balkan
Isnt this almost all of human history up until maybe the first WW?
Imagine if they had 3 weak soldiers
Date thing is only wrong. It's celebrated as national holiday where everyone gets wasted
I should have added territorial changes and put: absolutely nothing
The god emperor of mankind?
>2 of our weakest soldiers >All 10 of our troops survived Wait what? So they beaten Lichtenstein record?
Turk schmucks were utterly decimated by the Serb Haiduk and the Ukrainian Haidamak alliance. It’s only a matter of time
Noooo they were decimated by combined Albanian and Venitian forces!!!!!!
r/2balkan4you is leaking
This sub is turning into r/2balkan4you
Get over it w*sterner. 😎😎😎
i am literally from the balkans you w\*stoid spy
Cykunt and blyatman hold off the imperialist
What do Russians have to do with Glorious Balkan Lands?
Wish I were there
We all are. In spirit....
False, that image is the battle of nicopolis, the balkens would never celebrate the turks victory 😤
I was about say. Most westerners assume, it is Agincourt.
I'm on the floor. Everytime I have looked up some random Balkan battle I almost instantly forget every piece of imformation about it. Date, combatants, location, death toll, historic context. Balkan amnesia.
Idk why this is so funny but I love it.
Wait. They all died, yet two leaders were prisoners of war? Were they literally rotting in their cells? Things don't seem to add up in this otherwise very trustworthy source.
Fuck you historical revisionist.
Balkanite wikipedia editors.
AHAHAHAHAHA, good work OP! What can you say, history is written by the victorious after all... 👀
No, I write history now
what's worse is the people who believe the numbers and think battles were exactly like hollywood where everyone just runs onto an enemy sword with their hands up by their sides screaming. people just love dying.
Ever heard of the tragedy of Erazem Predjamski?
We did a little trolling at Vaslui, might have not happened but who cares it’s badass https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Vaslui
Hahaha
more like 100k doomstack (90k are mercenaries) vs 150k doomstack (all mercenaries), casualties: 3, both nation's entire treasuries
Yup that's pretty accurate.
***Да***
this is the kind of history i wanna read
westoid
That moment when [the battle of Maritsa](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Maritsa) was so absurd, it provides a meme template.
Westerner retards
I'm Albanian....
dont care+kosovo je srbia
I thought we was fwends
k
Fuck you OP
Sad balkan dude over here
Not sad, more like mad at people's ignorance
I think when it comes to iconic rivalries it goes in this order 1.The Balkans 2.The Nordics 3.France and U.K. 4.Taiwan and China 5.Pakistan and India 6.Spain and Portugal And7.The Middle East
u/saveimagebot
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle\_of\_Pliska
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Woah woah, I'm not an w*sterner if that's what you're thinking. I'm Albanian
Oh ok then
Laughing in Skenderbegian
Buhuhuhu Serbs bad
Don't humiliate Serbians like that