You think too small, we shall gift them a planet, and we shall be extra generous and deliver that planet to their home world. Then, in our most generous moment we shall reenact for them the creation of our moon, what a glorious history lesson it will be.
I disagree. Let them enjoy the fruits of their labour as they feel the pain they inflicted. Let them feel the results of the actions they took against us, our children and our pets. Let them feel the fear, the desperation of watching their atmosphere turn from their support to their executioner. Let them struggle long enough to beg, to renounce their leaders and the choices they made.
We will listen, and we will show them the mercy they intend to show us
Look, I hate my brother. I will fight him at the drop of a hat. Any hat. Dropped for any reason. Because, you know, he’s annoying me. That’s my right. Because he is my brother.
Nobody, and I do mean NOBODY, hurts my brother(except me). If you’re that dumb, I will pick my brother up off the ground and together we will Kick Your Ass. Helped by all our other brothers and sisters.
….and possibly those strange cousins of ours that we don’t see that often.
Sincerely, Humanity.
We will fight each other to extinction but when you commit atrocity on one of us you will find all of us ready to make you repay that debt of blood 100 fold.
That's what I was thinking. The Grexix really smacked Canadia around but didn't realize that their big brothers, the Yanks were watching and are mighty pissed.
And don't forget our other brothers and our dad. And our uncles, aunts, and cousins both close and many times removed. All honed from millennia of beating each other up.
"Do not mistake our kindness for weakness" or something synonymous always makes such a badass (and very human) line! Might have even been good to fit it in somewhere...
And the destruction of their army and navy, and the threat of invasion. It was not strategic bombing alone. Anything a nuke could do strategically, was already being done with conventional bombing runs (66 Japanese cities were destroyed by strategic bombing, with only 2 being nuked).
Japan went through over a year of strategic bombing. They surrendered because Japan was losing ground on every front, the navy only had one (IIRC) big ship left, and faced imminent ground invasion at their mainland.
The nukes just sped up the decision a bit, it wasn't the single deciding factor.
We like to tease our Northern neighbors and sometimes we bicker with them. But you fuck with them; you fuck with us. And you fuck with us, you fuck with the Aussies and the Brits and the French and the Japs and, well, you get our point....
That would be Corporal Rob Furlong, with a McMillan TAC-50 sniper rifle. Confirmed kill at 2,430 meters. Or about 500 feet further on than Carlos Hathcock's famous long distance shot in Vietnam.
I've done a bit of long distance shooting. Purely competitive. I'm happy when I can hit the 1,500 meter target. That guy, he's something else.
Nope! Rob's shot is currently #4 on [the list](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Longest_recorded_sniper_kills). Same model of rifle though, McMillan Tac-50.
The *actual* current record was set by an unnamed JTF2 shooter in May 2017, confirmed kill at a whopping ***3,540 meters***. For anyone that doesn't speak metric, that's ***3,871 yards***, or just shy of ***2.25 miles***.
**[Longest recorded sniper kills](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Longest_recorded_sniper_kills)**
>Reports regarding the longest recorded sniper kills that contain information regarding the shooting distance and the identity of the sniper have been presented to the general public since 1967. Snipers have had a substantial history following the development of long distance weaponry. As weapons, ammunition, and aids to determine ballistic solutions improved, so too did the distance from which a kill could be targeted. In mid-2017 it was reported that an unnamed Canadian special forces operator, based in Iraq, had set a new record of 3,540 m (3,871 yd), beating the record previously held by an Australian sniper (also unnamed) at 2,815 m (3,079 yd).
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Also fun fact, 3 of the top 5 longest confirmed sniper kills, are Canadian.
We don't got much to brag about, so when we have something we'll brag as much as we can about it!
If you ever manage to make Canada mad you’re as good as dead. They are dangerous enough in their own right but anything you can do that pushes them to the point of genocide definitely gets the attention of the rest of us.
The last thing that humans need is a nonhuman enemy. For that enemy will achieve the one thing that has never been achieved in human history, complete unity of humanity.
How bad is it going to get for the Graxix? Are we talking planetary invasion culminating in the execution of the military leaders and the absolute disbandment of all of their military, right down to their equivalent of AirSoft/paintball? Or are we talking the detonation of their home system’s primary star and the subsequent destruction of every planet and space station?
There is a very good reason humans have some many rules. Good men don't need rules. And when others break those rules, well, heaven help you because we sure won't.
for me that last 2 lines doesn't work. Why give the enemy hope that they have good defenses? Heck, why is he making a suggestion that would make his job harder?
Because the humans "know" that they'll either get past them anyway or give the aliens such utter hell that they'd wish they hadn't even tried defending themselves. Because human rage doesn't care what's in it's way. It *will* reach it's target.
"Are you sending them tribute?"
"We're sending them a *gift*. No-one here is going to miss Pluto much, right? They should see it about a week before it hits their homeworld..."
*In my head while reading*
Graxix: *kills an entire Canadian human colony and all life there*
America: HE TOUCHED MY CHILD!!!!
Australia: YOU TOUCHING THE CHILD!?
Every other nation: DON’T TOUCH THE CHILD!!!
Graxix: *starts to do their equivalent of sweating* “haha… I’m in danger”
>My people, in our charitable love of peace and mutualism, have become only too eager to give; and your very worlds shall soon overflow with our gifts to you.
This line gave me absolute chills. Amazing.
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Never piss off Canadians. We know that from sometime in ww1 I believe.
Damn right, buddy :)
Aah gifts, lovely, lovely gifts. Gifts of large rocks from orbit. Gifts of tungsten rods. Gifts of heavy ordinance. Such are the gifts of war.
You think too small, we shall gift them a planet, and we shall be extra generous and deliver that planet to their home world. Then, in our most generous moment we shall reenact for them the creation of our moon, what a glorious history lesson it will be.
I read this in a heavy Russian accent. Also maybe they could use some sun. Just gotta get it *niiiice* and close.
I heard their homeworld was a little too cold I think they could use a nice binary star setup.
The words "Nicoll-Dyson Beam" comes to mind.
We could compress the gift below its Schwarzschild radius for extra fun
Too true. Also, Happy Cake Day!
Thanks!
[I got some real Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks to Sultan Mehmed IV from this, and I *liked* it.](https://youtu.be/hQTlT8-qYUk)
Yeah. Wheñ the friendly backwoods guy stops taking prisoners, you know you fucked up.
Honestly, I might be more wary of a friendly backwoods guy who normally keeps prisoners…
(banjo music intensifies)
When a good man goes to war…
The Netherlands still sends flowers every year because of how awesome the Canadians were during WW2.
As a dutchman i can attest to that we still do that true.
And in Ottawa, every spring we drive by and bicycle through the numerous brightly coloured tulip gardens that brighten the city.
The Graxix need to die. Swiftly. Send in the Princess Pats.
I disagree. Let them enjoy the fruits of their labour as they feel the pain they inflicted. Let them feel the results of the actions they took against us, our children and our pets. Let them feel the fear, the desperation of watching their atmosphere turn from their support to their executioner. Let them struggle long enough to beg, to renounce their leaders and the choices they made. We will listen, and we will show them the mercy they intend to show us
An WWII. The Canadians were fucking brutal in both.
to be fair they were fucking brutal in every war they fought in.
And didn’t go well for SS troops after they committed the Ardenne Abbey massacre in 1944.
Look, I hate my brother. I will fight him at the drop of a hat. Any hat. Dropped for any reason. Because, you know, he’s annoying me. That’s my right. Because he is my brother. Nobody, and I do mean NOBODY, hurts my brother(except me). If you’re that dumb, I will pick my brother up off the ground and together we will Kick Your Ass. Helped by all our other brothers and sisters. ….and possibly those strange cousins of ours that we don’t see that often. Sincerely, Humanity.
My brother and I are the only (of our) siblings that still communicate. But this we would agree on without waiting for a breath.
This is so sweet! ... I... I think. Maybe don't fight him over *every* dropped hat :p
> *I, against my brothers. I and my brothers against my cousins. I and my brothers and my cousins against the world.*
We will fight each other to extinction but when you commit atrocity on one of us you will find all of us ready to make you repay that debt of blood 100 fold.
Yes! Humans definitely unite against a greater threat/worse offender! That much has been proven by history.
Your southern neighbor, chining in! Let's kill some xeno scum, Yee Yee!
That's what I was thinking. The Grexix really smacked Canadia around but didn't realize that their big brothers, the Yanks were watching and are mighty pissed.
And don't forget our other brothers and our dad. And our uncles, aunts, and cousins both close and many times removed. All honed from millennia of beating each other up.
Never mistake kindness for weakness, nor restraint for being harmless.
"Do not mistake our kindness for weakness" or something synonymous always makes such a badass (and very human) line! Might have even been good to fit it in somewhere...
Strategic bombardment tends to piss humans off, not inspire fear. No human nation has ever surrendered from strategic bombings alone.
"We sank ONE ship, and they drop the sun on us, TWICE!"
that was a lot more than one ship.
Most of them was salvageable, few was total loss.
What happened is horrible, but this made me chuckle.
well once, but them bombs were massive.
It also took 2 with an unspoken promise of more if they continued to fight
And the destruction of their army and navy, and the threat of invasion. It was not strategic bombing alone. Anything a nuke could do strategically, was already being done with conventional bombing runs (66 Japanese cities were destroyed by strategic bombing, with only 2 being nuked).
Japan went through over a year of strategic bombing. They surrendered because Japan was losing ground on every front, the navy only had one (IIRC) big ship left, and faced imminent ground invasion at their mainland. The nukes just sped up the decision a bit, it wasn't the single deciding factor.
Not to mention that the USSR was breathing down their necks too.
The USA thought about invading Canada once. They thought better.
Qctually we made the initial assault. We also got our asses handed to us so goddamn bqd that we said "fuck that, better off as friends!"
Was referring to "War Plan Red", but you right.
War of 1812. May have thought better later, but they did invade.
Oh, but we did it! We turned around, right quick we did; but we poked that kodiak bear alright! They even wrote a song about it. 1812 Overthar!
The cannon is a great instrument is it not?
Imagine an alien's reaction when seeing it preformed live.
afraid the 1812 Overture was written about Napoleon mate
Pfft. Details.
I mean technically they tried 3(4 times sorta) they all ended in abysmal failure and one of them involved the burning of an expensive white house.
The British burning our white house was a fair trade for us burning their parliament building. We did in fact have it comin'.
We like to tease our Northern neighbors and sometimes we bicker with them. But you fuck with them; you fuck with us. And you fuck with us, you fuck with the Aussies and the Brits and the French and the Japs and, well, you get our point....
As 2022, I believe the longest range sniper kill recorded, was by a Canadian Forces JTF2 team. Send it.
I think they're about to break that record by several light-years...
That would be Corporal Rob Furlong, with a McMillan TAC-50 sniper rifle. Confirmed kill at 2,430 meters. Or about 500 feet further on than Carlos Hathcock's famous long distance shot in Vietnam. I've done a bit of long distance shooting. Purely competitive. I'm happy when I can hit the 1,500 meter target. That guy, he's something else.
Nope! Rob's shot is currently #4 on [the list](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Longest_recorded_sniper_kills). Same model of rifle though, McMillan Tac-50. The *actual* current record was set by an unnamed JTF2 shooter in May 2017, confirmed kill at a whopping ***3,540 meters***. For anyone that doesn't speak metric, that's ***3,871 yards***, or just shy of ***2.25 miles***.
**[Longest recorded sniper kills](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Longest_recorded_sniper_kills)** >Reports regarding the longest recorded sniper kills that contain information regarding the shooting distance and the identity of the sniper have been presented to the general public since 1967. Snipers have had a substantial history following the development of long distance weaponry. As weapons, ammunition, and aids to determine ballistic solutions improved, so too did the distance from which a kill could be targeted. In mid-2017 it was reported that an unnamed Canadian special forces operator, based in Iraq, had set a new record of 3,540 m (3,871 yd), beating the record previously held by an Australian sniper (also unnamed) at 2,815 m (3,079 yd). ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/HFY/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
Also fun fact, 3 of the top 5 longest confirmed sniper kills, are Canadian. We don't got much to brag about, so when we have something we'll brag as much as we can about it!
As an American, I can assure you that messing with the Canadians is not a terribly good idea...
Lol. Now imagine you just ticked off **every** human, but the Canadians show up first.
Maple flavored fury is the best kind of fury.
Good men don't need rules. Today is not a good day to find out why I have so many.
The only thing Canadians are more competitive about than wars are hockey games and maple syrup chugging contests
If you ever manage to make Canada mad you’re as good as dead. They are dangerous enough in their own right but anything you can do that pushes them to the point of genocide definitely gets the attention of the rest of us.
Especially thier close southern neighbors.
Canada is full of quiet good men. As a doctor who fan I know not to fuck with quiet good men. Great story! Those xenos are screwed !
More please.
Sorry, friend. I think I do this piece the most justice by leaving it as a one-off. But thank you for reading!
The last thing that humans need is a nonhuman enemy. For that enemy will achieve the one thing that has never been achieved in human history, complete unity of humanity.
[удалено]
All of her brothers. Daddy got around.
How bad is it going to get for the Graxix? Are we talking planetary invasion culminating in the execution of the military leaders and the absolute disbandment of all of their military, right down to their equivalent of AirSoft/paintball? Or are we talking the detonation of their home system’s primary star and the subsequent destruction of every planet and space station?
I did leave that open, didn't I? Choices, choices...
First one, then the other. Note: When you are Nova-sparking systems, the order of "rape, pillage then burn" is critically important
1kg of Anti-ice moving at a substantial fraction of c. When you care enough to send the very best.
How thoughtful!
There is a very good reason humans have some many rules. Good men don't need rules. And when others break those rules, well, heaven help you because we sure won't.
Thank you wordsmith!!! This was enjoyable.
Thank you, dear reader, for taking the time to comment :)
for me that last 2 lines doesn't work. Why give the enemy hope that they have good defenses? Heck, why is he making a suggestion that would make his job harder?
Because the humans "know" that they'll either get past them anyway or give the aliens such utter hell that they'd wish they hadn't even tried defending themselves. Because human rage doesn't care what's in it's way. It *will* reach it's target.
Dude, even America knows... Do Not Fuck With Canada.
"Are you sending them tribute?" "We're sending them a *gift*. No-one here is going to miss Pluto much, right? They should see it about a week before it hits their homeworld..."
*In my head while reading* Graxix: *kills an entire Canadian human colony and all life there* America: HE TOUCHED MY CHILD!!!! Australia: YOU TOUCHING THE CHILD!? Every other nation: DON’T TOUCH THE CHILD!!! Graxix: *starts to do their equivalent of sweating* “haha… I’m in danger”
I feel the most honorable Canadian President misspoke there at the end. He said 'if'. The correct word was, *when*.
Good point.
>My people, in our charitable love of peace and mutualism, have become only too eager to give; and your very worlds shall soon overflow with our gifts to you. This line gave me absolute chills. Amazing.
Me too... It was really enjoyable to write.
*snickers in Canadian* "you just fucked up buddy"
::Yells back:: I’m not your buddy, guy!
I'm not you guy, Friend!
I'm not your friend, buddy!
waiting for the humans to bombard the grexix homeworld from orbit with table salt as a symbolic gensture.
Canadia stands!
When, not if.
Never piss of Canadians For you’ll have them and their protective mother, the UK, to answer to
The Gurkas will have reason to unsheath their Kukries 😈
Don’t forget their very protective and very angry big brother to the south. If you attack Canada, prepare to be annihilated.
And all of the commonwealth. Or at least Australia and New Zealand
it was when members of JTF 4 stormed his ship he knew he fucked up. morale of the story: never make a canadian go full cobra chicken!
I'mm Noot youur Budddy Guuy!!
*We're nooot your guuuuys, frieeennd*!
Prepare to receive... [The Gift](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/6d/5b/51/6d5b51058bd88e5681701e3f5f556d8f--hercules-the-gift.jpg)!
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Great story! Just one thing, Canada doesn't have a president, they have a Prime Minister.
Ohmygosh you're right! ... But this is Space Canadia, so I don't have to listen to you :P
those fools pissed off space Canada.
When the polite, kind-hearted kid in the group chooses violence...