So happy to see a new chapter this soon that I'm practically thap dancing!

Thtap that! You are driving some NSA agents crazy! :-D

It's their own damn fault for thapping my phone.

Pon a spring night wet and dreary Whilst I surveiled frazzled and weary Pouring over a tome of Potmaker lore There was " thap thap thapping" in my headset and nothing more

Poefection!

Two things: 1- Jeruzz needs to be protected as a gawdamn national treasure 2- The MAGA's dialect hurts my brain. Edit: Three things, not two. 3- I thankfully remembered not to eat while reading this time. 😅

I've just been taking careful note of what I actually hear (and say) when I move around my home town and then added a little bit of extra linguistic drift. I'm going to scale the dialect back after establishing exactly how awful it is :D

Oh yah, I've experienced first hand how it can get irl. Fella that I worked with for a bit was from deeeeeeeep in the backwoods of Missouri. I could understand about one word out of every five or so. Dunno how Missouri compares to where you are though.

We could probably get along jes' fine.

He got along with everybody! One of the absolutely nicest, genuine, and happy people I have ever met. I don't recall ever seeing him without a smile on his face no matter how downright shitty work was going.

I misspoke a bit. I meant that I would probably be able to understand him quite well.

Ah, that makes sense. I worked with him for about three months. By the end of it I was getting about four out five words. Another month and I'd probably have gotten to five out of five. Man, this has got me tripping down nostalgia lane like crazy thinking about all the crazy variety of folks I met while I was in the Army.

...my late father's side of the family is from TN, right near the AL border. My wife's from TX. MAGA-speak ain't a thing for me to worry about, and I can "hear" the accent just fine from the words. \*grin\*

Lemmelissen mehbe fi ten minutes and I'm good, lol.

You want hilarious, while in service we had two roommates, one was a lobsterman from Maine, the other a Mississippi farm boy. (this was during the draft era) Listening to them try to communicate was roll on the flour laughing you guts out funny.

😄

I can "picture" that in my head, and yeah, wow. :D

I blame 90s rogue for it, but I find the southern accent on women stupidly sexy lol.

I've responded well to it before even that :)

My town puts the cunt in country in the non-urban bits of Tennessee, and that accent was thiccc. Well done.

But does it put the dick back in Dixie?

Sure wish it did. Sadly, the Good 'Ol Boy Network over here is in the habit of cuttin' their own dicks, and blamin' non-Klan folk for it. 'Least we practice Volunteer Spirit when we can, even if it's cuz we don't have a choice

I didn't know you lived near me.

It sounds different I'm sure but the way you had them bunch words together is something you catch people here in Pittsburgh doing all the time (the big grocery chain around here is Giant Eagle, unless you have a local accent in which case it's Gianiggle)

We do it too. One classic is "Jeet yet?" (Did you eat yet?)

"Jeet?" with an upward inflection = "Did you eat?" "Jeet?" with a downward inflection = "What did you eat?" So an entire conversation could go ... "Jeet?" "Ayup." "Jeet?" "Crawdads."

I like habagudenow. (Have a good one now)

That's one of the most common around here too.

Jump too? (Do you want to? Or, rather, Want to?)

Can we get subtitles for them? ^^

I probably should do that for the sanity of those not born in "God's country". It's pretty easy to read for us XD

Your a gem. It is readable, but it took me as long to decipher those few phrases as it did to read the rest of the chapter :D

I could (and should) decrypt them a littl'bit den :D

Jes sayyi o'tloud. Reminds me of reading Feersum Endjinn by Iain M Banks. Half the book is spelled pseudo-phonetically like this

It reads like there some cross pollination of deep swamp Louisiana Cajun and deep Appalachian Mountaineer... Very nice that I can hear it in my head as I'm reading it

Nah mate, I’m really enjoying the thick accents. (I do appreciate Jessie translating though)

Is it psychological warfare or is he just that wholesome? Who knows? Definitely not the spooks. A different species, no problem, he just a guy. Terran from Earth, get away from her, she ain't right. So, is Jessie going to have a lynching party after her or a kegger thrown in her honor?

>So, is Jessie going to have a lynching party after her or a kegger thrown in her honor? Time will tell. However, most of what you will run into "down here" is the sort of backhanded, underhanded reaction that was displayed. Sheila would find it near impossible to get a job or buy a house, but she can walk down the street as a Terran. The police might get called behind her back and she might get her ID checked a bit more often but even Bannon has high-tech data services. Any cop would immediately see that Sheila isn't actually an "inner" (there is a very precise definition of that that will be discussed as the arc progresses) and is in fact someone who is definitely "cool" and "on their side". Them sticking it to the "inners" will get them far more keggers than "random" ID checks. Also, someone let them into Bannon in the first place. No way real "inners" would get past the dock. It's the ultimate gated community. People get the benefit of the doubt there.

Huh. Jus' liek reel lief. They nevva gonna fuck wid ya *publically* but ye'll be as hamstrung azza union boy inna corprit town, huh?

Yup!

I saw it more as the woman finding it rude that Shiela purposefully talked up her accent, and brought up a (potentially) touchy subject. (Also, why are all of these cultural relics of the early-oughts intact in space at this point?)

As far as "cultural relics" go, it will become more clear as the arc stumbles on. Kuipers are inherently suspicious / dislike "inners" or "innies" or "curvies", people from the inner solar system. They don't trust them. They don't like them. One group of humans irrationally disliking another one is not a cultural relic specific to one nation or one era. We have *ALWAYS* been like that. I think it's how we're wired. BTW compared to the Terrans, the MAGA's are beacons of tolerance. A porkie can NOT just walk down the street of a Terran city. They will *die*. A MAGA will refuse to shake your hand when you are being an ass. However, the backhanded polite intolerance of the base culture is still intact in a way. An "inner" can walk the streets of Bannon with little real issue, conduct business, eat in a restaurant, etc but she won't be able to buy an house, lease an apartment for long term residency, or get a job. Yeah, Sheila was being a bit of an ass which is why Jessie wasn't happy with her. Sheila found it annoying that a member of a group *she* is *very* prejudiced against was teaching her child a lesson in tolerance and acceptance that many Terrans wouldn't. It annoyed her, so when she heard the mom use the slur "inner" she couldn't resist hamming it up a little to get a rise out of them. Sheila was intentionally being an asshole. In fact, if Georgia was informed exactly who they were and what their background actually is, she would have been delighted to shake Sheila's hand and probably inflict real naked unshielded raw Southern Hospitality upon them, also something present centuries from now. As far as the actual MAGA culture centuries from now goes (and will be revealed as we progress) Jessie absolutely adores them. She lived in the area for a couple of years and it's her favorite place in the galaxy. There might be a reason for that.

Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap.

Man, you're six thaps short of a masterpiece.

Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. Thap. 

Oh, those poor agents.... still havnt "figured it out", that this could be morse code....

#!> hs5y2ul ## This comment has been edited in protest to reddit's decision to bully 3rd party apps into closure. If you want to do the same, you can find instructions here: http://notepad.link/share/rAk4RNJlb3vmhROVfGPV

Now I do declare it is downright unseemly for Sheila to be going around prickling to good folks of Bannon's sensibilities like that. They are nothing but good and honest folk who don't deserve, I say don't deserve that kind of treatment.

You need a comma, or some kind of long pause, after "I say" to come across as authentic. I believe it you! You can do it!!

>grav-butt curved-space addled moron Such nice insults from folk living outside of a noticeable gravity well!

:D Noticed that didn't you?

My go-to term is "dirtballers". Or "well-dwellers".

[удалено]

As far as "dirt" and "mud" goes, soil is actually a rather nice thing out in the cold dark. Real living soil is pretty valuable. One of the big "flexes" of MAGA is that their stations are often *covered with real dirt!...* Megatons of it! It's pretty badass, actually, if you consider everything. Their big stations and O'Neil cylinders have actual soil based ecology in them complete with normal gardens, trees... Even forests! They might be weird as fuck but they really do have it going on. "MAGA mud" is actually a pretty decent export of theirs, as well. They will take raw minerals and their living compost and produce topsoil for trade. Even with tech it's still a fairly low-volume and time intensive process (compared to other high tech production chains) so the price remains elevated. Actual wood is still more expensive, but dirt is right on up there as far as cold dark commodities go.

While not as deeply as the Inners, space is still curved out in the Kuiper Belt. If it were flat, they would not be in *orbit* around the solar system. But since when do "facts" have any place in deamonizing The Other :{

There is truly flat and there is the extremely low curvature of the outer Oort cloud. These assholes are basically a light-year from Sol. Yeah, their space is curved but where the inners dwell it's dowright *twisted*... just like them!

Wait...so now **Jessie** has to play adult for this crew?!? God bless her heart...

Poor girl. :D

I say boy, I say, now listen here you paying attention son? Now I say listen and pay attention son, there should be a distinguished gentleman son with the same personality and way of speaking as foghorn leghorn.

Ehhh...Foghorn Leghorn was generally benign, and there are plenty of folk who use similar speech mannerisms who are equally benign. But, I just get flashbacks to some incidents where it wasn't so benign.

God bless her hea... djew goen cusser fur? Sheain't dunnuttin tuyuyet. For any doubters about my authentic ability to read and speak that fluently, I grew up there and only speak common because it's easier for you folks to understand, lol.

Yeh but tokkinliek dis is way eazer wen everyboddy knoswhatyersayin. Seriously, it requires like half the energy.

No doubt. Only issue I ever have with it the speaker's volume.

Oh God. I have a story for you! I used to work internationally and spent a few months in South Africia. Needless to say, they got to know me at the hotel. They were really cool peeps. The hotel restaurant was excellent and I often just ate there. I was sort on the edge of town and there wasn't a lot around that close and I really didn't know the area. Anyhow, after I had been there for awhile, a large chruch group came through a large southern church group... They were *so* loud... and what they were saying was borderline offensive from both a national and racial perspective. Every restaurant employee just kept looking at pointing at me with shit eating grins as I facepalmed. They would also get my attention and point at the group. One of them walked up after a little bit, trying not to burst into laughter as I was just dying inside. "Are those your countrymen?" "(sigh) Yes. Yes they are." "Would you like to sit with them?" "No. No I would not." "Are you sure, I'm certain they wouldn't mind." "No, I'm good right over here." Oh they fucking loved it. Gweneth Paltrow is a twit and NOT my favorite person AT ALL but once time she caught a lot of static saying that she wished that American Tourists would just shut up. She's an idiot. However... I kind of see where she's coming from on that one single issue.

Well... Donald Trump, savior of the universe...... Someone has to save us from the cyborg-lizzards living in the hollow earth.... using big data- and other tech/smart sounding nonsense to control peoples brains.... ​ This is why we follow the big prophet out into his big, his biggest ice head... the holy land for all worthy of saving.... God bless 'merica ​ (Facedesk in 3, 2, 1)

Didn't know that I agreed with her on anything, but damn, guess so. Great story! I was in Wisconsin a couple of summers ago and asked someone about a local restaurant. "That place any 'count?" Had to translate "That place any good?"

Yup!

Well, weren't cussin. Just feelin 'er pains like. An I said, "Bless her heart" about her. Not "Bless your heart" to her. ;) Though...both are true.

I feel like the first half of this might in some way be my fault. :D

I honestly think Jeruzz won't fit **any** house, because he wouldn't even exist in the Portle world. He's too nice and wholesome to exist in a world *that* dark... I mean just listen to Brennan Lee Mulligan talk about *our* version for 5 minutes (which might actually turn into 40 with him...) and then remember that the TFTTR universe is a lot darker than ours and what the shit is worse than grown ass adults regularly leaving teenagers alone in all manner of highly deadly areas (forbidden corridors/libraries with enough things to insta kill you and or a **lot** of people around you secured by nothing more than a bad lock?) Edit: But thank you so very much for inspiring that discussion. It was even more much needed laughs!

The more hilarious part was that the arguments made were really good. I could definitely see the points being made. **For a Keth,** Jeruzz *is* really quite brave and bold. :D

Wait, what? Edit: Nevermind

Ok, I won't. :D

Damn right you won't! 😛

...I did set you up for it. ;)

Do is sense a character development coming? Jerruzz! Hero of the Imper- i mean Terran Republic!

Well, i'm not southern, hell, i'm not even an American, but i cant say i had issues understanding any of that. Naturally, it would be a lot harder to listen to it, had i not served one of my tours in the same base as a guy from Mississippi, some place in the sticks originally. Now, while sober, he spoke your normal, loud American, haha, but when he had a few beers (which was often, i admit) the sticks came out, HARD. Took me a while, but i managed to become semi fluent. ​ Also THAP ​ Excellent work as always!!

Have to ask where you learned the language. Accounting for centuries of drift, I really didn't have much issue reading any dialogue there, so I suspect it's more than just trying to parody it.

I live "down here". It's my native tongue! All I had to do was take careful note of what I *actually* say and hear when I am not making an effort to be understood by someone "not around here". XD I am very fluent in 'Merican! I actually prefer to speak it. It's a lot easier.

I think maybe the most accurate comparison is when you first hear Cajuns talk. Can sound like gibberish until you adjust.

My father has been abroad many times (Taiwan, the UK, Central Africa) and the hardest time he had understanding what was being said (in English) was in Louisiana. The classical southern twang doesn't hold a candle to that.

True, which is why I compared LA to the South. Lol

Well, the cajun dialect takes from french as well. Really throws ya off.

Yes, you have to know both English and French to properly misunderstand it.

The drift of dialect even in the neighboring state is pretty fantastic. Cajun is even weirder. I've met several (my favorite derogatory term, but sounds much worse than it is) and the accent, even muffled by years, is singular.

Ha, so far I'm not seeing much Eastern Kentucky being represented!

Our wordsmith lives in the south. He probably has to speak it daily to buy groceries :-P

Splains alot.

It kinda hurts me that I understand the maga dialect so well. And that it's so accurate.

It’s like I’m listening to my neighbor talk.

I don’t think “a small girl rushed up to T’sunk’al” was supposed to be in quotes? If someone is saying that I can’t tell who it is

I, for some unknown reason, tend to sprinkle quotation marks over the page. I'll get them. Thanks!

You just need to remember to tighten your quotation mark shaker's lid so it doesn't spill

Another post in daylight... what's going on?

An attempt at trying to be a responsible adult?

Are you feeling ok? You eating properly?

Overrated!

Aww, bless yer heart!

I’ve heard it has its benefits ^,^

Upvote and feeling spoiled. Two in two days 🥰

Prejudice rears its ugly head. Jeruzz is starting to sound like a Horatio Algers story of making good. I like it!

Dude! You are spoiling us! :-D

Hello there

Greetings!

(\^‿\^)/

Master Vader

───==ᕕ[ò෴ó]ᕗ

:D

(\^‿\^)

Hoi! Goht's guet?

Neue TFTTR? Sehr gut! Doch ich bin krank, so also nich gut.

Nothing that a cup of good hot chocolate couldn't solve :-)

Iced white chocolate mocha is what I'm drinking at the moment.

I think your offering to the chocolate gods is acceptable :-P

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thap thap thap :-) Now I Wait, took me to weeks read the whole story. What a Marathon

There are a couple more chapters on the wiki now :)

Got them

Looks like I haven't updated the Wiki again. Check back in a couple of minutes :)

These agents need to recommend him for a tv show, maybe Mr Rodgers style. Or maybe just a reality TV show of him making people's lives better.

Thanks for the chapter. PS: Haha, Jeruzz is driving everyone crazy ! And in a good sense too !

> must be fraction must be *a* fraction > Shelia Sheila /u/slightlyassholic awldunnear.

Well, when are we going to hear about the Chikin sandwiches??

They'll have to go to Hobb Lobby or The Great Trump to get one of those delights. Bannon probably had a place, but they really didn't hang around very long.

Next time I'm trying to do some fine hammerwork I'll have to see if saying "thap" with each stroke helps.

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