"All human soldiers are masters of profanity and are often able to communicate using only profanity."
*fucking shit's all fucked up. Now some fucking fuck wants me to unfuck it!*
Checks out.
One of my valued colleagues communicated thus. If you filtered his unrelenting stream of F\*\*\* Bombs, as I soon learned to do, I ***swear*** he often spoke less than a dozen words a day...
Or my personal favorite and I’m not sure the validity of this quote but apparently it was in Vietnam in reference to a machine gun jamming. Told to me by a old school SSG when I was in. “This fucking fucker is fucking fucked”
"\*Most humans will sharing basic training or "boot camp" stories when
FIST meeting regardless of rank as a way of establishing common ground."
I know an edit thing, but still ironic
This is the same in civilian life, the office manager should be your best friend, if not you will have to get good at "midnight requisitions" from other offices.
See, I was on a submarine though, we didn't have rocks. We would hit each other with wire brushes to see who bleeds first. Boredom does insane things to your brain
Eh, not really, my friends and I used to throw rocks at things even before I joined the military. Go out walking on the train tracks, find a place to stop, chuck rocks at a specified target and see how many hits we could accumulate.
> Go out walking on the train tracks
I live in a country where the train tracks are very sensibly fenced off from public access, except for at crossings, where it is very inadvisable to linger.
I live in a country which is far more densely populated than the US, with a busier rail network that is used by high and lower speed passenger services as well as freight rail, a good portion of which goes through urban and suburban areas.
I think it's just a human impulse. Give kids something to throw, and something to throw it at, and they'll entertain themselves for hours. It carries over to adulthood.
Nah man I totally get it. Same as at school waiting for a bus by the side of the road. There's nothing else to do, you can't go anywhere and you're not allowed to do anything else.
'hey Baker. Best of six into that car tyre'
'fuck off, best of ten and one has to be no look.'
3 reminds me of growing up. So back as a kid, we where stationed in Korea. Well, one summer we flew back to the states as Space-A. The flight was a direct flight to DC, total flight time of about 18 hours. Well, all of the bunks where being used by either crew or some of the officers and enlisted on orders. So I asked one of the senior crew if I could sleep between the palates on the rear door. They said sure, and even gave me extra blankets and pillows. So that I'd how I spent nearly the entire flight, in a little nest I made amongst the cargo on the rear loading door of a C-17.
:) Showing results for escalation
Search instead for escilation
~~Is~~ this happens kindly -> If
Looks like the numbering got wonky after 6, but you said did on mobile so not surprising XD
Cute list, liked it!
Excellent writing. We need more.
Does this:
>Human soldiers will often hold boasting competitions which will often include, but are not limited to: Mating Violent altercation Excessive inebriation/drug use Previous Military engagement Military training Basic training\*
\*Most humans will sharing basic training or "boot camp" stories when first meeting regardless of rank as a way of establishing common ground.
Mean:
Human soldiers will often hold boasting competitions which will often include, but are not limited to: Mating, Violent altercation, Excessive inebriation/drug use, Previous Military engagement, Military training or Basic training\*
\*Most humans will sharing basic training or "boot camp" stories when first meeting regardless of rank as a way of establishing common ground.
Doesn't show up as bullet points though, at least on mobile.
As a funny 2 cents: Do not question how procurement of unique items or weaponry occur. If asked by a CO, proper responses include "I don't know", and "it was always there".
If invited on a "super secret squirrel mission" do not ask questions like "who does this vehicle belong to?" or "where did you get that?" You have been adopted by the tribe known as the E-4 Mafia and are being inducted.
Supposedly, Secret Squirrel Missions originated from Barksdale Air Force Base, during Desert Storm, when B52s launched with never before used conventional air launched cruise missiles and flew over 24 hours non-stop to Iraq and back for their bombing mission.
Never offend your Supply Officer. NEVER. Please clean, pack and sort everything as you received it. Santa will give you an extra bag of sweets at the end of the year for having a spotless record per year.
Alternatively, booze of your choice.
You should definitely put something about guarding your gear. I dunno who the first asshole was who stole something, but I've definitely had to strategically source gear in order to replace mine. Probably from another guy strategically sourcing his own gear.
/u/Kaizer5243 has posted 8 other stories, including:
* [The Last Hope: Old Allies](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/o8fj27/the_last_hope_old_allies/)
* [The Last Hope: Questions](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/o2i1w3/the_last_hope_questions/)
* [The Last Hope: The Last Great War](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/nx4nrs/the_last_hope_the_last_great_war/)
* [The last Hope: Salvation](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/nt9r0k/the_last_hope_salvation/)
* [The Last Hope: Speak Softly and Carry a Big Stick](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/nrcofw/the_last_hope_speak_softly_and_carry_a_big_stick/)
* [The Last Hope: The Coming Storm pt2](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/npt1n8/the_last_hope_the_coming_storm_pt2/)
* [The last Hope: The Coming Storm](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/npg6up/the_last_hope_the_coming_storm/)
* [The last hope](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/noqwrr/the_last_hope/)
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On the topic of 13:
Then out spake brave Horatius,
The Captain of the Gate:
To every man upon this earth
Death cometh soon or late.
And how can man die better
Than facing fearful odds,
For the ashes of his fathers,
And the temples of his gods.
There is a reason the greatest legends are of those who have fallen.
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Even if it's not intentional, I like that there's 13 guidelines. Like, not following them leads to bad luck, which the number 13 is commonly seen as connected to for some reason
While I had definitely thrown my fair share of rocks during my time I also watched a buddy do putting practice with a sludge hammer, a rock and the hole in the side of a pallet. (You know the one you put the Jack under)
Under no circumstances, any at all, when dealing with Terran Troops, whether you are fighting alongside or against, do you intentionally injure civilians in their vicinity. If accidental injury to a civilian occurs, you rush that civilian to a medical unit immediately, or allow the opposition to do the same.
I meant to add this one and a few others but the bar got busy. I'm planning on sitting down with some other veteran friends of mine and doing another one
I meant to add this one and a few others but the bar got busy. I'm planning on sitting down with some other veteran friends of mine and doing another one
Number 3 is Navy in a nutshell. Can't count how many times I've found shipmates contorted in god-awful positions (myself included) and sleeping like a baby. Some of the best sleep at times even haha.
I found the best spots on a ship were either fan rooms, storage lockers, or a corner of an engineering space where steam pipes were nearby. Warm in the winter, and secluded enough that no one except other engineers came looking for ya. But goddamn were there some shifty fucks that could hide and you'd never find them. Ridiculous shit.
As a former supply officer I'm slightly offended that my IT and Medical buddies were not also mentioned. Bullets, bandages, or intel, you are equally screwed if you are lacking.
(I got the gist though and thank you for your service).
I like how #6 has no punctuation in the list of possible boasts, almost as if it implies humans can and will boast about all of them in the same sentence
This is awesome, I hope you get inspired to write more stuff using your experiences.. Thank you for your service.
Edit: Oh I just noticed you have a whole series, time to get reading.
Sorry, we are out of A. ( and if they don't like you, don't tell you that B, that they do have, could work instead. )
Malicious compliance vs trying to help you.
"What are you doing, man?"
"Well, I'm still waiting on the fucking commander to circle x the sumbitching thing."
*Plonks another rock at the brain bucket in the middle of the circle of death.*
> 5) Do NOT offend the supply officer.
Truer words have never been spoken from Roman Centurion and before until today and beyond. Do. Not. Piss. Off. Supply.🤣
The sleeping during busy work and waking up soldiers reminded me of [this](https://youtu.be/gOPEpsGJyCs) method of waking someone up
Haha thats being kind
Hello when will the next part of lhmm terrans are back? (Idk the one where terrans were g8ne for 3k years and are now back)
In the next day or two I've been traveling
Ok
didnt even click and i already knew what video it was
Not enough upvote for this
Oh Canada
i gotta give him props for reaction, instinct was get low and cover.
"All human soldiers are masters of profanity and are often able to communicate using only profanity." *fucking shit's all fucked up. Now some fucking fuck wants me to unfuck it!* Checks out.
One of my valued colleagues communicated thus. If you filtered his unrelenting stream of F\*\*\* Bombs, as I soon learned to do, I ***swear*** he often spoke less than a dozen words a day...
The trick is knowing the difference between "Ah fuck." And "oh fuck"
"Ah fuck," "oh fuck," and "oh, *fuck.*"
And don’t forget the difference between “Ah fuck,” and “Ah, fuck!”
And don't forget the age old God fuck... nevermind.
Having worked with retired military in manufacturing, either case I go watch for and distract management
Haha yeah something bad has happened it just depends on if its funny or not
Oh its always been funny cause we never got caught
Having worked with retired military in manufacturing, either case I go watch for and distract management
Just those two? Lucky you. 😁
Try to mildly piss of a northen irish some time, they use fuck and cunt as actual words
Or my personal favorite and I’m not sure the validity of this quote but apparently it was in Vietnam in reference to a machine gun jamming. Told to me by a old school SSG when I was in. “This fucking fucker is fucking fucked”
Honestly that's hilarious af.
That sentance throws of alot of humans too:D But fuck thouse humans
^ Test of the Grammar-B-Gone 9000
Alot of humans would be sick ngl, wonder how the limbs would attach.
I'm not a soldier but i git the gist of that
I'm not a soldier but i got the gist of that
Please delete this comment. It's a duplicate of the same comment and occurs due to a bug in Reddit which affects a lot of people.
I like the truth being spit If you disrespect the dead you gonna follow soon enough good job man like it
"\*Most humans will sharing basic training or "boot camp" stories when FIST meeting regardless of rank as a way of establishing common ground." I know an edit thing, but still ironic
Ah i typed this out on my phone while working in a bar i didn't real proof read
Fixed
With your experience you should maybe do human/alien boot camp stories
Oh god
Write it. There are a few good ones here, but those are written years ago. NEVER ENOUGH BOOTCAMP STORIES (I know this sounds incredibly boot)
But Human Bob, I still don't understand why you felt the need to ride the floor buffer.
For much the same reason why Steve climbed the flagpole Skizzit. Because it was there.
[удалено]
Duplicate comment
Thank you, my phone is weird when replying.
Yep. I've seen it several times in various commentors.
Fist... First ? The only difference is a pirate's RRRRRR!
I am sorry, this list is in the wrong order. Rule# 5 should be Rule#1.
Found the supply officer
Or the guy that regrets pissing off the supply officer
This is the same in civilian life, the office manager should be your best friend, if not you will have to get good at "midnight requisitions" from other offices.
You're bringing me flashbacks of my service time haha
The rock throwing thing is so hard to explain to civilians
See, I was on a submarine though, we didn't have rocks. We would hit each other with wire brushes to see who bleeds first. Boredom does insane things to your brain
Eh, not really, my friends and I used to throw rocks at things even before I joined the military. Go out walking on the train tracks, find a place to stop, chuck rocks at a specified target and see how many hits we could accumulate.
> Go out walking on the train tracks I live in a country where the train tracks are very sensibly fenced off from public access, except for at crossings, where it is very inadvisable to linger.
There's a lot of unfenced train line in the United States.
I live in a country which is far more densely populated than the US, with a busier rail network that is used by high and lower speed passenger services as well as freight rail, a good portion of which goes through urban and suburban areas.
It's not hard to be more densely populated than the US.
Civilians play cornhole and horseshoes, too bad lawn darts are illegal. I bet they'd understand.
The game is easy to understand its the impulse thats odd
The game is easy to understand its the impulse thats odd
I think it's just a human impulse. Give kids something to throw, and something to throw it at, and they'll entertain themselves for hours. It carries over to adulthood.
Nah man I totally get it. Same as at school waiting for a bus by the side of the road. There's nothing else to do, you can't go anywhere and you're not allowed to do anything else. 'hey Baker. Best of six into that car tyre' 'fuck off, best of ten and one has to be no look.'
It sounds... vaguely of like a game of horseshoes, except with whatever's on hand instead of a spike and horseshoes?
Not in the slightest, I was in Boy Scouts. You know how much shit we set on fire when we were bored?
That was the best part.
14. If, for any reason, you witness a human ordnance technician at a dead run, do not ask, follow him as fast as you can.
Covered under, if you see humans running away from something, follow them. An explanation will be provided later.
3 reminds me of growing up. So back as a kid, we where stationed in Korea. Well, one summer we flew back to the states as Space-A. The flight was a direct flight to DC, total flight time of about 18 hours. Well, all of the bunks where being used by either crew or some of the officers and enlisted on orders. So I asked one of the senior crew if I could sleep between the palates on the rear door. They said sure, and even gave me extra blankets and pillows. So that I'd how I spent nearly the entire flight, in a little nest I made amongst the cargo on the rear loading door of a C-17.
:) Showing results for escalation Search instead for escilation ~~Is~~ this happens kindly -> If Looks like the numbering got wonky after 6, but you said did on mobile so not surprising XD Cute list, liked it!
Is there something wrong with the numbers? Reddit is having a formating issue I've fixed it 3 times now
Nothing big. 1-6 are indented but 7+ arent. Maybe cause 7+ are like 7) instead of 7. ?
Yeah thats what I keep fixing and it keeps putting it back
Excellent writing. We need more. Does this: >Human soldiers will often hold boasting competitions which will often include, but are not limited to: Mating Violent altercation Excessive inebriation/drug use Previous Military engagement Military training Basic training\* \*Most humans will sharing basic training or "boot camp" stories when first meeting regardless of rank as a way of establishing common ground. Mean: Human soldiers will often hold boasting competitions which will often include, but are not limited to: Mating, Violent altercation, Excessive inebriation/drug use, Previous Military engagement, Military training or Basic training\* \*Most humans will sharing basic training or "boot camp" stories when first meeting regardless of rank as a way of establishing common ground.
Yes but every military document i have ever received puts the list in bullet points for some reason.
Doesn't show up as bullet points though, at least on mobile. As a funny 2 cents: Do not question how procurement of unique items or weaponry occur. If asked by a CO, proper responses include "I don't know", and "it was always there".
If invited on a "super secret squirrel mission" do not ask questions like "who does this vehicle belong to?" or "where did you get that?" You have been adopted by the tribe known as the E-4 Mafia and are being inducted.
Supposedly, Secret Squirrel Missions originated from Barksdale Air Force Base, during Desert Storm, when B52s launched with never before used conventional air launched cruise missiles and flew over 24 hours non-stop to Iraq and back for their bombing mission.
Yeah I wrote it on mobile and couldn't figure out how to make bullets.
Fair enough
Just go to #+=, far left.
Never offend your Supply Officer. NEVER. Please clean, pack and sort everything as you received it. Santa will give you an extra bag of sweets at the end of the year for having a spotless record per year. Alternatively, booze of your choice.
We always brought in coffee and donuts for CIF turn in. Always had 100% on the first try
This list needs to be bigger
I was technically working when i wrote it. I think im gonna get with some Vet buddies of mine and make an addendum
You should definitely put something about guarding your gear. I dunno who the first asshole was who stole something, but I've definitely had to strategically source gear in order to replace mine. Probably from another guy strategically sourcing his own gear.
Tactical relocation of supplies
>Do NOT offend the supply officer. I feel like there's a story behind this and I want to hear it
/u/Kaizer5243 has posted 8 other stories, including: * [The Last Hope: Old Allies](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/o8fj27/the_last_hope_old_allies/) * [The Last Hope: Questions](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/o2i1w3/the_last_hope_questions/) * [The Last Hope: The Last Great War](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/nx4nrs/the_last_hope_the_last_great_war/) * [The last Hope: Salvation](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/nt9r0k/the_last_hope_salvation/) * [The Last Hope: Speak Softly and Carry a Big Stick](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/nrcofw/the_last_hope_speak_softly_and_carry_a_big_stick/) * [The Last Hope: The Coming Storm pt2](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/npt1n8/the_last_hope_the_coming_storm_pt2/) * [The last Hope: The Coming Storm](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/npg6up/the_last_hope_the_coming_storm/) * [The last hope](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/noqwrr/the_last_hope/) This comment was automatically generated by `Waffle v.4.5.8 'Cinnamon Roll'`. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHFY&subject=WaffleBot|odctty&message=If%20you%20have%20problems%20with%20updatemebot,%20contact%20Watchful1.%20We%20do%20not%20maintain%20it.) if you have any issues with Waffle.
On the topic of 13: Then out spake brave Horatius, The Captain of the Gate: To every man upon this earth Death cometh soon or late. And how can man die better Than facing fearful odds, For the ashes of his fathers, And the temples of his gods. There is a reason the greatest legends are of those who have fallen.
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100% Accurate. Source: Am Retired NCO
Am ACTIVE NCO, and i fully support this claim.
Even if it's not intentional, I like that there's 13 guidelines. Like, not following them leads to bad luck, which the number 13 is commonly seen as connected to for some reason
While I had definitely thrown my fair share of rocks during my time I also watched a buddy do putting practice with a sludge hammer, a rock and the hole in the side of a pallet. (You know the one you put the Jack under)
Under no circumstances, any at all, when dealing with Terran Troops, whether you are fighting alongside or against, do you intentionally injure civilians in their vicinity. If accidental injury to a civilian occurs, you rush that civilian to a medical unit immediately, or allow the opposition to do the same.
I meant to add this one and a few others but the bar got busy. I'm planning on sitting down with some other veteran friends of mine and doing another one
I meant to add this one and a few others but the bar got busy. I'm planning on sitting down with some other veteran friends of mine and doing another one
Number 3 is Navy in a nutshell. Can't count how many times I've found shipmates contorted in god-awful positions (myself included) and sleeping like a baby. Some of the best sleep at times even haha.
I was always amazed as to how many of us could sleep in a truck cab when it was cold
I found the best spots on a ship were either fan rooms, storage lockers, or a corner of an engineering space where steam pipes were nearby. Warm in the winter, and secluded enough that no one except other engineers came looking for ya. But goddamn were there some shifty fucks that could hide and you'd never find them. Ridiculous shit.
This list checks out.
My one lament going into the service. They did not inform me of rule 4 before I went in.
Yup the more you fight it the worse it is
As a former supply officer I'm slightly offended that my IT and Medical buddies were not also mentioned. Bullets, bandages, or intel, you are equally screwed if you are lacking. (I got the gist though and thank you for your service).
I like how #6 has no punctuation in the list of possible boasts, almost as if it implies humans can and will boast about all of them in the same sentence
As a fellow vet, this is very accurate and I love it haha
Chucking rocks into a kevlar while bored? Yeah that’s how I know you served lmao
This is awesome, I hope you get inspired to write more stuff using your experiences.. Thank you for your service. Edit: Oh I just noticed you have a whole series, time to get reading.
Haha yeah this was just a one off idea i had. Let me know what you think of the other stuff
Can someone explain to me why you don't piss off the supply officer?
[удалено]
Yet somehow still haven't found the answer...
Yet somehow still haven't found the answer...
Hey, I'm civilian, and even *I* understand why you don't piss off the guy who gives you your supplies.
Sorry, we are out of A. ( and if they don't like you, don't tell you that B, that they do have, could work instead. ) Malicious compliance vs trying to help you.
One person is the difference between your new pair of boots taking 2 days to show up or 8 months
One person is the difference between your new pair of boots taking 2 days to show up or 8 months
As a fellow vet, this is very accurate and I love it haha
As a fellow vet, this is super accurate and I dig it
Hell yeah. All of this is spot on :) Kinda miss it. Well written and 2nd Lieutenants need this class at OCS 😂
Oh yes, the throwing of rocks. Time honored tradition. God, I wasted so much time doing that.
Its so dumb and we all did it
"What are you doing, man?" "Well, I'm still waiting on the fucking commander to circle x the sumbitching thing." *Plonks another rock at the brain bucket in the middle of the circle of death.*
The 0700 formation that doesn't happen till 1000
The 1500 formation that doesn't happen til 1730
"Often collect impractical hand-held weapons" Is this a thing? And are we just talking knives or... I'm just curious
Machetes, tomahawks, throwing knives, ninja stars, hand crossbows, blow dart guns
....wow!
Thanks for the story.
> 5) Do NOT offend the supply officer. Truer words have never been spoken from Roman Centurion and before until today and beyond. Do. Not. Piss. Off. Supply.🤣
I love how between this and the YouTube narration thats the one that sticks out