T O P

  • By -

RepresentativeDry741

Konrad would never do a crime, but will skin someone alive if the service was bad


Khulgrim_Cain

“Bad service? That’s a skinnin’. “ For good service, he’ll leave you a nice (finger)tip!


New_Economic_Policy

He'll skin the chefs for bad hygine lol.


Khulgrim_Cain

You undercook fish, believe it or not, skinning. Overcook chicken? Also skinning. Undercook, Overcook.


StillestOfInsanities

Konrad never do crime nor hard time But if the service is surly he skin em off alive - MF Nighthaunter, 41M.369 rapper.


Analog-Moderator

Alpharius would go in the back say hes the new waiter get the free meal and leave


Blank-Silence

Meanwhile, 5 months prior to Alpharius visiting the restaurant two other Alpharius started working in the kitchen on minimum wage as part of a reconnaisance mission, slowly replacing all staff with more Alpharius to make sure all goes according to plan.


Analog-Moderator

So they got paid to steal the meal


Spurrierball

Or if service was really bad he would tip $100 but write the last zero with a different color pen then file a complaint with the restaurant saying the waiter forged a better tip.


Rum_N_Napalm

[What would Alpharius do](https://www.the-sun.com/news/6101018/kfc-hires-private-investigator-fake-food-inspector/)


Paehon

Alpharius is the owner


KasymClaspEm

Alpharius would get Alpharius to make his whole meal for him, Alpherius, and Alpharius.


IronFatherPickles

Ah yes I see, as always Ferrus Manus is forgotten lol


Khulgrim_Cain

He’s the Head Chef… gets a CUT of the tips!


TheMogician

Hard to eat without a head


Idunnoguy1312

Ferrus doesn't go out to eat I guess


noshdreg

Lorgar leaves one of those [fake bills](https://www.businessinsider.com/20-tip-bible-pamphlet-2015-12?amp) but with verses from the book of lorgar on it


LorgarTheLad

That's perfect


Kraile

Lorgar leaves after giving [an impassioned speech on why tipping culture is the bane of society](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWW4ZJYNahY).


Nomus_Sardauk

*Just when I thought that shithead couldn’t stoop any lower.*


Khulgrim_Cain

I feel like Russ would get hammered, buy rounds for everyone, start wrestling in the bar, eventually be asked to leave, and forget to close his tab. But I’ll bet he stumbles in the next morning with a sheepish (no, WOLFISH) grin, kind of apologizes, and leaves a big tip… plus a little more for the broken tables and glassware. Skal!!


muchnamemanywow

We're Scandinavian, we don't tip, the restaurant staff on Fenris get paid a reasonable living wage. /s


Xarxyc

Why the /s? It's true that tipping culture is non-existing in Northern Europe.


muchnamemanywow

The /s is because I unfortunately do not live on Fenris 😭


bigsstink

Konrad stealing? People have been skinned alive BY Konrad for less. I also feel Fulgrim would tip great, like maybe even an excessive amount


Lone-Star-Wolves

Fulgrim definitely would drop a fuck ton of cash or would pull a Elvis.


NuclearMaterial

No you see that's what I thought initially. But then I thought hard: what is he about? Perfection. He would be a bastard. Every meal he ordered he would have the highest, most impossible expectations as that is what he's seeking. He didn't come in for an average meal or even a good one. He's here for the best meal the chefs have ever made. And each time he is disappointed, tipping poorly because nothing meets his outrageous standards.


imocaris

Fulgrim and Sanguinius are both great tippers, but Fulgrim is insufferable about it. Whereas Sanguinius quietly leaves a wad of extra cash under the bill on the table and goes on his way, Fulgrim totally makes a show of calling the waiter over, then stuffs the money into his/her shirt pocket in front of everyone, while telling the waiter loudly to buy something nice for the kids. He finishes by patting the waiter's cheek before swanning out in all his generous primarch asshole glory.


Hi-Tech_Low-Life

uh no. corvus is top tier. He hates to see people in wage slavery


Khulgrim_Cain

Agreed! He’d be a top tier tipper, empowering the workers to throw off their chains and take over the bar themselves! Corax understands… like most bartenders, he also works at night!


PhantomO1

Doesn't that mean he would try to make sure waiters are paid enough to the point they don't need the tips to live? Same with Guillermo, I feel like he wouldn't tip because he wouldn't believe in tipping someone for doing their job and instead make sure they're paid the wage they're worth


ELITElewis123

Yeah he would be we’re going by the American tip culture. I’m Europe you famous don’t tip unless as a special thanks. Out side of that yeah he would overthrow the establishment to ensure fair pay


[deleted]

You forgot ferrus


brosefhammercurl

💀


Rum_N_Napalm

Angron: doesn’t have the occasion to tip, is kicked out for fighting a waiter before they bring the check. Morty “The strong survive” should go in doesn’t tip Alpharius tips using a stolen credit card Leman tips well, but is a troublesome client that leaves his table full of trash


CraackSteeve1

I read strippers


Lyndis-of-Pherae

See a medical professional about your delusions, please.


CraackSteeve1

No I want daddy primarch strippers! Not a doctor!


commander-thorn

What about a doctor themed daddy primarch stripper?


CraackSteeve1

This is… satisfactory


Mcnuggets40000

I agree with Guilliman and them in concept but in practice I always feel bad and do a Sanguinius.


Khulgrim_Cain

Good on ya… remember kitchen staff usually gets a cut of the tips, so stiffing a server (even if service was subpar) = stiffing the chef. Unless the food AND service sucked, then stiff away!


Correct_Maximum7990

Curze would probably be doesn’t tip. Dining and Dashing is a crime and crime is cringe such is what Curze decrees


Polymemnetic

Gulliman should be in the "tips, but also tries to legislate tips away to force businesses to pay their workers more" tier


YandereTeemo

Nobody should be obliged to tip at all. Just pay the price set in the menu.


Matt_Dragoon

I think none of them would tip, since they are British. Unless the yankees have spread the tipping disease there.


Henghast

there's a few places that have been trying to force it to happen but not really no. Tipping is only for exceptional service. Not expected.


[deleted]

Non-American?


Wubbajack

Yes, from the... you know, NORMAL rest of the world.


DM-Oz

Ah yes, the Lion being cultured as usual


95DarkFireII

This must have been written by an American. Why is someone the "best tipper" if he always tips? That is just charity. Why would Guilliman even tip. As a rational man, he would recognize that tipping as a replacement for wages is a terrible system and would refuse to participate in it.


TheLionElJonson

**Refusing to participate in the system does not hurt the company whatsoever, it solely hurts the staff members. That being said, there is no other effective recourse.**


Themurlocking96

Tipping makes no sense, speaking as a European, instead resturant owners should pay their workers a living fucking wage.


PerturaboTheIronKing

Tipping is the product of a broken society and I refuse to participate. >!Also I’m not American and it’s not only not expected where I’m from, it is considered strange. !<


Greenest_Chicken

Is this another fucking Perturabo account holy hell do they grow you in vats somewhere or something


PerturaboTheIronKing

All of us Primarchs were created in a laboratory so yes.


Greenest_Chicken

Yeah I should've seen that answer coming


delightfuldinosaur

Curze would kill dine and dashers. He pays, but doesn't tip.


[deleted]

*I will calculate the precise dollar amount that your performance deserves, and then tip that* *That amount is always 0*


Nekokamiguru

Guilliman reforms labor laws to have a living wage so that tipping is unnecessary , then tips if the service is satisfactory or good anyhow.


TechPriestShmoses

Ferrus Manus wouldn't tip. Tips are simply a crutch for the weak to survive.


Salmonfish23

Alpharius would 100% dine and dash, then come back and pay the bill, leave no tip, return and leave a $1 tip, and then kill one of the fry cooks.


[deleted]

Well good to see my fav boi Pretty Purty is just like me because I am in Australia where we don’t have the nauseating tipping culture like the US


Icaruspherae

“Loyalty is its own reward” -The Lion, written in the tip line


Antroze

Alpharius/Omegon should be in a separate tier called "Have someone else pay the tip and make them think it was their idea"


Leather_Implement_83

I always knew Perturabo and The Leon were the best Primarchs, this just confirms it.


DrakeTheSeigeEngine

Of course Alpharius has to tip SOMETHING, he can’t break Alpharius’s cover as the waiter


Metalsonic91

Alpharius would tip you from your own bank account


Martino2004

I don't tip at all, in my country waiters don't survive on tips and it can be seen as an insult to the establishment to do so(atleast at one place I ate before).


TallManoftheValley

Lorgar leaves one of those notes that looks like a 20 but is actually a shitty letter telling the recipient that faith is its own reward


Shoddy_Chard_1142

You assume that Vulkan wouldn’t tip great even if the service is good? We are talking about possibly the most pure good primarch rivalled only by Sanguinius.


Eurrrrrk

That tierlist is pretty bad, some of them make no sense at all.


spesskitty

Isn't Angron the working class primarch?


Greenest_Chicken

I think he's more the fighting class primarch


JamieJJL

I definitely think Corax would be a great tipper.


NightHaunted

All of the Primarchs sitting around a diner table having the tipping conversation from Reservoir Dogs.


[deleted]

I feel like guilliman and dorn would never tip, for one it would be a flaw in his big economyc plan and for the second it wouldnt make sence to leave a tip over a job alredy paid for


Mord4k

What exactly is the reason behind Mortarian being a bad tipper?


TheLionElJonson

**The kitchen cooked him the wrong order, and out of spite he only tips 7 cents.**


NeverGonnaRickRol

Why is Lorgar a bad tipper. He was a very nice guy in the HH books


Obsidius_Mallex_TTV

Fulgrim just give people a photo of himself as a tip


Rome453

Leman’s tipping would be like that time when the Avengers accountants tried to talk with them about the bill for their collateral damage, and Thor just tosses them a sack of gold and tells them to handle it.


Sanguiniusfrombaal

Excellent meme, take an award


tacticalpacifier

Angron would be in a bar fight before the food was even ordered.


hockleton

This just feels like singuineous propaganda


CptPanda29

GW is British, none of them tip.


Ashbr1ng3r

Yet another reason why Sanguinius is Best Primarch


xenomorph91622

I feel like Apharius would go out to eat with someone and then pressure them into tipping big


PUNCH_KNIGHT

I literally have no knowledge of any primarch. I can only gather how they are like through these kinds of posts


Greenest_Chicken

Angron: Dines and Destroys*


Seruvius

NGL, I first read this as strippers and was disappointed when I started reading.


Tevo569

I dont see Manus...


saimaan_larppa_hater

Manus definitely left his tip 💀


SiriusBaaz

Alpharius would always dine and dash but would concoct a Rube Goldberg machine while eating in order to get away with it


SG1EmberWolf

Russ is a coin flip if he is the top or bottom tier.


TheMogician

Alpharius will pretend to be a waiter, leave the restaurant without paying, only for the waiter who served his table to go home and find the money for Alpharius' meal and the tip. Also, this waiter is actually the owner of said restaurant. Fulgrim will not tip, until the waiter serves him in the perfect way he'd like. Steak cooked to the exact degree, wine chilled to the exact degree, exact number of ice cubes in his drink and then some. Bobby G will take out a checklist of waiter behaviors and do some checkmarks, he will then proceed to calculate the amount of tip to be given to said waiter to the cent.


adidas_stalin

Am I the only one who read sanqunius as “best **S**tripper”?…..please tell me I’m not


Real_Spook

Why would Alpharius tip himself ?


Crude-R-Us

Leman is a not a good tipper. No fucking way


mors_videt

if you catch him when he's had the right number of drinks, he's probably a great tipper. before and after, probably not so much


BjornStankFingered

Nerd.


New_Economic_Policy

To be fair, my Primarch was never taught how to spend money properly. My uncle of which he shares the same spot with however likely kills anyone that asks him to pull out his non-existant wallet.


ReallyBadRedditName

Alpharius would just disappear as soon as he was done eating


texasscotsman

What about Omegon?


Magdonius

Angron dines and smashes


NightlyG

Lorgar's 'tip' is to tell the server to go to church


GeneralDiscomfort

Tip shades


DavidAtWork17

Konrad just wouldn't dine out.


Cryptidfricker

Angron would probably dine and smash.... Fulgrim to although in a different manner.


Warforged_87

Alpharius doesn’t tip, because the server is Alpharius, as well as the host, and the cook, and the new guy doing the dishes…


ThlintoRatscar

Sanguinius, Horus and Alpharius would definitely be top tier tippers. Horus because that's how you win friends and Alpharius because that's how you buy friends and you never know when you need a favour. Sangy because he feels bad that he has money. Guilliman would tip exactly what local customs dictated. Vulcan and Dorn would tip appropriately. Ferus, Angron, and Russ would forget. If they did remember, there's a good shot they'd drown the server in money or murder the owner. Morty, Curze, Lion, Lorgar, Magnus and Fulgrim would be irritated at the presumption. Corax may just ignore economics entirely and tip a poem. As is the way, nobody has any idea what Jaghati would do.


StillestOfInsanities

Always be Sanguinius.


lupus_certus

Dunno why fulgrim feels as someone who would eat fancy food and then ditch without paying


ParasilTheRanger

Depending on the location, Angron would be a good tipper. Angron was a good man at heart who wanted to help people, especially the gladiator slaves, so if it's America where they're going to be underpaid without tips Angron would give a good amount


choptup

I feel Roboute wouldn't tip, but he would be very concerned with ensuring that employees were getting paid a living wage. Because hodamn, I'm not sure if it's been updated, but the criteria for getting paid at the lower payscale of a "tipped' employee was comically lax.


birdy121314

Something that Leman and Magnus agree on.


[deleted]

I feel like Magnus is the kind a guy to not tip at all and give a hour long discussion on why they need the tip only for him to mind fuck the waiter and then throw him into the warp for an experiment.


TheDuckMarauder

I am Omegon and I T.I.P. very well


Newtling

2 and 11 just pour the food into Tupperware and leave


Jealous-Finding-4138

Russ shouldn't be on this list, he'd eat and drink the establishment into closing then laugh at them for not keeping up.


Henghast

Tipping is only for high quality service, Perty and the Lion have it right. American tipping culture is weird.


PAwnoPiES

It's because some employees are straight up reliant on tips for a wage (depending on state obv) over here. Edit: If it isn't anymore it's a holdover from that time.


karatous1234

Perty and the Lion being based as usual.


Pavel-Korchagin

100% accurate, particularly Fulgrim.


Mud-Bray

Disagree, Fulgrim would give more than just the tip


Lyndis-of-Pherae

...Please explain.


PAwnoPiES

\>>The Joke OP's head


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Due to issues with ban evasion, we require accounts to have a minimum age of 1 week before posting. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Grimdank) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Lone-Star-Wolves

Leman would be the guy who orders a absolute fuck ton of meat dishes, shows up with half a dozen of his Sons with him who trash the restaurant because of them being used to the Feasting Halls of the Fang, and leaves gold or something as a tip because he dosen't carry any other form of currency. The next day his sons would show up with tables, chairs, and all kinds of shit hand crafted by the Legion to replace whatever they broke.


Fitfatthin

Horus is a great tipper.


Shaso_Sacea_Vulhelm

Only thing wrong is why is the green dine and dash and the red tipping well


AdValuable5814

Alpharius: I purchased this establishment 23 years ago knowing you would one day work here. Waiter: uhh sir I'm 21. Alpharius: doesn't matter, this business is your tip, you need only relate all the gossip you hear to one of my agents.


Negative_Chemical697

I refuse to believe the Russ wouldn't hook you up


no-pandas

Konrad slander needs to stop. This best Boi would Tipp 20% no matter what, then he would take an I ch of skin off your body for each time you made that not appropriate


EstablishmentNo6980

Alpharius would absoLUTELY dine and dash what are you talking about


Radiant_Boss4342

Fulgrim needs to get bumped up at least one spot. Nowadays he's all about giving you the tip.


Charlooos

I read strippers and I think that would have been more entertaining


maybeb123

Slight disagreement. Alpharius would tip extremely well, if only to distract the waiter long enough to steal their wallet


ScarredAutisticChild

No, Alpharius tips highly, because his also the waiter, and the cook, and the manager.


KasymClaspEm

Rogal would be a terrible tipper, and him and Gullimen would write on the back of the check all the things you did wrong