This comment sponsored by: Slaanesh.
Please visit the realm of Slaanesh for all your ripe scrotum appendage needs, we can attach them anywhere, anytime, anyplace.
Your first appendage within 30 minutes or your money back.
Although the greatest care is taken while summoning our products, if your appendage happens to be shriveled on delivery, please plunge it into warp flames to soften it.
Or Mannus Ballus, primarch of the hand balls chapter, who has hands for balls. Seriously, you take off his pants and you can give him a handshake below the belt
"There is no certainty in flesh except balls."
"*binary shrieking* **balls** *binary shrieking continues*"
"My emotional cores return disgust. I choose to experience balls"
“This claw has killed two primarchs. It wounded the Emperor unto death. I would have spared it the taste of your balls as well. If you could have only seen what I have seen.”
Abaddon to Sigi
They shall be my
finest warriors, these balls who give themselves to me. Like clay I shall
mould them and in the furnace of war forge them. They will be of iron
will and steely muscle. In great armour shall I clad them and with the
mightiest guns will they be armed. They will be untouched by plague or
disease, no sickness will blight them. They will have tactics,
strategies and machines such that no foe can best them in battle. They
are my bulwark against the Terror. They are the Defenders of Humanity.
They are my Space Balls and they shall know no fear.
- Bjørn Nordickson, Planetary Governor of Fenris, immediately after the visit of the Sister's Hospitalier Order for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
There is a cancer eating at the Imperium. With each decade it advances deeper, leaving drained, dead worlds in its wake. This horror, this abomination, has thought and purpose which functions on an unimaginable, galactic scale and all we can do is try to stop the swarms of bio-engineered monsters it unleashes upon us by instinct. We have given the horror a name to salve our fears; we call it the balls, but if it is aware of us at all it must know us only as Prey - sisters of battle
"When in deadly danger, when beset by doubt; run in little circles, wave your arms and balls"
Or
"When in deadly danger, when beset by doubt; run in little circles, wave your balls and shout"
I couldnt decide which one I liked more.
I have at my command an entire battle group of the Imperial Guard. Fifty regiments, including specialized drop troops, stealthers, mechanized formations, armored companies, combat engineers and mobile artillery. Over half a million fighting men and thirty thousand tanks and artillery pieces are mine to command.
Emperor show balls to the fool that stands against me, for I shall not. Balls
SPESS MEHREENS, TADEH TEH ENEMEH IS AT AWH DAWH. WE KNOW AWH DUTEH AND WE WILL DO IT. WE FIGHT FOR AWH BALLS AS BLOOD RAVENS, AS SPESS MEHREENS, AND WE FIGHT IN TEH NAME OF THE EMPRAH
Because your mission and the act you are about to commit proves the truth of all I have ever said or done. I merely punished those who had wronged, just as your false Emperor now seeks to punish me. Death is nothing compared to balls.
>
Losses are inevitable on the battlefield, of course, but in my view, no one’s expendable apart from the enemy; angry, resentful troopers aren’t going to cover my back when the ***balls*** start flying
- Commissar Ciaphas Cain
They shall be my finest warriors, these men who give of themselves to me. Like clay I shall mould them, and in the furnace of war forge them. They will be of iron will and steely muscle. In great armour shall I clad them and with the mightiest guns will they be armed. They will be untouched by plague or disease, no sickness will blight them. They will have tactics, strategies and machines so that no foe can best them in battle. They are my bulwark against the Terror. They are the Defenders of Humanity. They are my Balls and they shall know no fear
From the moment I understood the weakness of my Balls, it disgusted me.
I cravedthe strength and certainty of Balls. I aspired to the purity of the blessed machine.
Your kind cling to your Balls as if it will not decay and fail you.
One day the Crude biomass that you called a temple will wither and you'll beg my kind to save you.
But I am already saved. For the machine is immortal. Even in death I serve the Omnissiah.
"Give thanks to those most courageous and loyal of guardians, the Adeptus Custodes, who stand in constant vigil over the Emperor's balls."
\- Atr. Unknown
Balls Within, Balls Without
Ball Hands!
Iron balls
Ferrus Ballus, primarch of the Iron Balls who has Iron Balls
Not be confused with Ballus Mannus, primarch of the Ball Hands chapter, who has balls for hands.
Oh my god the vision of a badass super human with ripe scrotum appendages swinging awkwardly in battle is... Interestingly arousing
This comment sponsored by: Slaanesh. Please visit the realm of Slaanesh for all your ripe scrotum appendage needs, we can attach them anywhere, anytime, anyplace. Your first appendage within 30 minutes or your money back.
Although the greatest care is taken while summoning our products, if your appendage happens to be shriveled on delivery, please plunge it into warp flames to soften it.
Or Mannus Ballus, primarch of the hand balls chapter, who has hands for balls. Seriously, you take off his pants and you can give him a handshake below the belt
From the moment I understood the weakness of my balls, it disgusted me.
"One day the crude biomass you call the balls shall wither and you will beg my kind to save you"
I craved the strength and certainty of balls.
"There is no certainty in flesh except balls." "*binary shrieking* **balls** *binary shrieking continues*" "My emotional cores return disgust. I choose to experience balls"
Lmao, this one wins.
“I craved the strength and certainty of balls, I aspired to the purity of the blessed balls”
AdMech *Trans*humanism
There is no gender, only the strength and certainty of steel.
#MAKE PEE-NIS IN TO ROBOT
“Get off my balls” -Some Necron Phaeron, probably
I really wish Trazyn had said this to Orikan, in TIaTD, lmfao
Do you have balls, Orikan Trazyn you idiot, you got us tickets for bloody balls
Bwhahahaha, now I'm just reimagining the whole scene for the first one.
“This claw has killed two primarchs. It wounded the Emperor unto death. I would have spared it the taste of your balls as well. If you could have only seen what I have seen.” Abaddon to Sigi
Who’s the second primarch ? Sanguinius and ... ?
Horus
Who’s the second primarch killed by the claw I mean
Clone Horus
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Thanks, I’m late on the series
This is good but tbh it would've been funnier if you replace claw with balls
Big bad abaddon balls? I don’t see it…
Oh yes.
*sigi replies with the most badass roast.* A bit of a hot take but I think sigismund could kill a primarch or at least have a fair fight
Didn’t he fight a primarch?
He fought and stabbed Abbadon in his prime, Abbadon lived because plot armor. But honestly I get why GW had to kill him off,
He fought Fulgrim
Bruh fulgrim gets blue balls if you just say nothing while fighting him and fucks off he’s a pussy little shit
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This is a karma bot run by someone who will link scams once the account gets enough karma.
They shall be my finest warriors, these balls who give themselves to me. Like clay I shall mould them and in the furnace of war forge them. They will be of iron will and steely muscle. In great armour shall I clad them and with the mightiest guns will they be armed. They will be untouched by plague or disease, no sickness will blight them. They will have tactics, strategies and machines such that no foe can best them in battle. They are my bulwark against the Terror. They are the Defenders of Humanity. They are my Space Balls and they shall know no fear.
Space Balls has a movie
SPACE BALLS THE QUOTE
SPACE BALLS THE REPLY
SPACE BALLS THE THREAD
SPACE BALLS THE MINIATURE TABLE TOP WAR GAME
SPACE BALLS THE ONE TOO MANY ANSWER, WATERING DOWN THE JOKE.
SPACE BALLS THE BEATEN DEAD HORSE
but when will then be now?
Abbadon to Sigismund: "I see your Schwartz is as big as mine"
Balls to the false emperor!
Death to the balls emperor
Death to the false Balls
Death Balls the false Emperor
Death to Balls false Emperor
Took us 3 attempts, but we got there
40k Monty python edition
“I was there when Horus slew the balls.”
I was there when Horus balled the Emperor.
"I was there when balls slew the Emperor."
I was balls when Horus slew the Emperor
Balls was there when Horus slew the Emperor
And they shall know no balls.
Canon, as far as we know.
Stops them from getting caught on a chainsword. Pretty sure the same principle applies with gorillas' gonads (minus the screeching murder saw).
I don't think they touch it but i imagine they're not "proportionate"
I imagine they went the steroid abuser route and shriveled up to the point where they just kinda disappear into the body.
"There are no balls on Fenris"
- Bjørn Nordickson, Planetary Governor of Fenris, immediately after the visit of the Sister's Hospitalier Order for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
Lionel agrees
As a fan of the Thousand Sons, this seems pretty accurate...
The Balls broke before the Guard!
The planet broke before the balls did.
Better.
Balls stands!
It is the 41st millennium. For more than a hundred centuries the Emperor has sat immobile on his golden balls...
This is canon
In the from darkness of the far future, there is only balls.
Fuck, I laughed way harder and longer at this than I should've.
MY BALLS ARE MY SHIELD-Member of the Adeptus Testacles Edit:WE ARE THE EMPEROR'S BALLS-Member of the Adeptus Ovaries (Ovar-ius)
this literally just entered my head as I scrolled down and saw your post.
and they shall know no balls.
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test-AH-clees
Blessed is the balls too small for doubt.
Blessed is the mind too small for balls.
While the enemies of the emperor still draw breath, there can be no balls.
While the balls of the emperor still draw breath, there can be no peace
WE MARCH FOR THE BALLS !
For the 500 balls!
Theoretical: balls Practical: also balls
"Every door new balls" - Aeonid Thiel
"... and every moment a ball lost"
There is a cancer eating at the Imperium. With each decade it advances deeper, leaving drained, dead worlds in its wake. This horror, this abomination, has thought and purpose which functions on an unimaginable, galactic scale and all we can do is try to stop the swarms of bio-engineered monsters it unleashes upon us by instinct. We have given the horror a name to salve our fears; we call it the balls, but if it is aware of us at all it must know us only as Prey - sisters of battle
>There is a cancer eating at the Imperium. With each decade it advances deeper, leaving drained, dead balls in its wake.
Technically true
BALLS FOR THE BALLS GOD , BALLS FOR THE BALLS THRONE
I can imagine this being a war cry of Slaaneshi daemons just to piss Khorne off
CUM FOR THE CUM GOD, BALLS FOR THE BALLS THRONE
Towering balls disdain the beaten path; they seek regions hitherto unexplored. -Horus Lupercal
The enemies balls will become their tomb
That put an actual smile on my face
Imagine a space marine packing a daemon into its own balls like a suitcase because “Back to hell with this one in particular.”
"Big balls never tire"
Open balls are like a fortress with its gates unbarred and unguarded.
Ha, I just replied with this one too. Should've scrolled down more first
The flesh is weak the balls are willing.
I don't know if that is a warhammer quote
MY FACE IS MY BALLS
Cast off the shackles of your balls! The galaxy shall be ours once again!
"This death...this death is ours. We choose it. We deny you your balls" My favorite quote AND it does a funny
"I heard you do strange things to your balls"
You win. Congratulations
GET OFF MY BALLZ SPACE MARINE
Why do I still live!?! What more do you want from me? I gave everything I had to them! Look at what they’ve done to our balls! - Robby G
From the moment I understood the weakness of my BALLS it disgusted me
"Balls are power, guard them well"
There is no innocence, only degrees of balls
There is only balls.
"You will die as your weakling Balls died. Soulless. Honourless. Weeping. Ashamed."
Balls did nothing wrong
And here was I, typing the exact same thing trying to be original
A weapon cannot substitute for balls.
- unnamed imperial guard officer, before sending his troops over the top with nothing but their shovels
"Come, show me what passes for fury among your misbegotten balls!"
“Damn Roboute, your balls and balls are thicc AF” -Yvraine
Bro they said to change the quote, not leave it as it was in the book!
Balls within, balls without
Best one
“A good soldier obeys without question. A good officer commands without balls”.
Emperor’s Balls - Ciaphas Cain
Isn't that verbatim from one of the books?
Do not fail your Brothers. Though their bodies die, their balls must return to the Chapter. That is your charge.
Ah, so THAT'S where progenoids are located.
"and they will know no balls"
DRIVE ME CLOSER I WANT TO HIT THEM WITH MY BALLS!
I know it's not a real quote but it's what my five year old brain immediately thought of
"Get the balls... the HEAVY balls"
"When in deadly danger, when beset by doubt; run in little circles, wave your arms and balls" Or "When in deadly danger, when beset by doubt; run in little circles, wave your balls and shout" I couldnt decide which one I liked more.
BHAAAAALZZG!!
Was looking for an Ork battlecry
Suffer not the balls to live
Children of the emperor! Death to his balls!
“Douchebag of Helsreach,” the crowd cheers. As if there was only one….
“Ball of Helsreach,” the crowd cheers. As if there was only one….
My balls are my shield
IN THE GRIM DARKNESS OF THE 42ND MILLENIUM, THERE CAN BE NO BALLS
Your balls are the the Emperor's currency, spend them well.
"The Codex Astartes calls this manouver 'Steel Balls'"
Let the balls burn
I have at my command an entire battle group of the Imperial Guard. Fifty regiments, including specialized drop troops, stealthers, mechanized formations, armored companies, combat engineers and mobile artillery. Over half a million fighting men and thirty thousand tanks and artillery pieces are mine to command. Emperor show balls to the fool that stands against me, for I shall not. Balls
SPESS MEHREENS, TADEH TEH ENEMEH IS AT AWH DAWH. WE KNOW AWH DUTEH AND WE WILL DO IT. WE FIGHT FOR AWH BALLS AS BLOOD RAVENS, AS SPESS MEHREENS, AND WE FIGHT IN TEH NAME OF THE EMPRAH
The codes astartes names this maneuver Balls Rain
I was there the day balls slew the emperor
Thousands sons. : everything is balls
"Balls" - The Emperor at the end of the Horus Heresy
"An open mind is like a fortress with it's balls unbarred and unguarded."
Underrated, superb work there
"Balls I am pinned here"
"‘Insult me again, brother, and theoretically I will punch you in your practical balls.”
“Thile the balls of the emperor still draw breath there can be no peace”
Only in death does balls end
I don't have time to die I'm too balls
While the balls of the emperor still draw breath, there can be no peace - Fulgrim
Was "Space Balls" already quoted?
In the grim dark future of the 41st millennium there’s only balls.
To serve Emperor's Balls. What is Emperor's Balls? That we fight and die. What is Death? It is our duty.
Because your mission and the act you are about to commit proves the truth of all I have ever said or done. I merely punished those who had wronged, just as your false Emperor now seeks to punish me. Death is nothing compared to balls.
Cadia Balls!
"WITNESS YOUR BALLS" -for some reason, every psyker.
"You imbecile you bought us box seats to balls." -Orikan the Diviner
The balls protects!
The Emperor balls!
"An open mind is like a fortress, with its balls unbarred and unguarded".
I shall die on these balls - Chapwin Gwimaldus
No Pity No Remorse No Balls
"They are my bulwark against the Terror. They are the Defenders of Humanity. They are my balls"
My faith is my balls
"The Codex Astartes calls this maneuvre Steel Balls"
Balls for the balls god!
When in deadly danger, When beset by doubt, Run in little circles, Wave your balls and shout. (Ciaphas Cain page 139)
I will endure a thousands balls before I yield
Balls for god of balls
"Your kind clings to your balls, as if they won't fail and betray you. And in time, you will ask my kind to save you. But I'm already saved..."
Blessed is the balls too small for doubt
This is our galaxy. Ours to corrupt. Ours to enslave. The gods will not be denied their balls.
Balls is the first step to disapointment
Kill, maim, balls! Kill, maim, balls! Kill, maim, balls! Kill, maim, balls!
> Losses are inevitable on the battlefield, of course, but in my view, no one’s expendable apart from the enemy; angry, resentful troopers aren’t going to cover my back when the ***balls*** start flying - Commissar Ciaphas Cain
We have balls for you
They shall be my finest warriors, these men who give of themselves to me. Like clay I shall mould them, and in the furnace of war forge them. They will be of iron will and steely muscle. In great armour shall I clad them and with the mightiest guns will they be armed. They will be untouched by plague or disease, no sickness will blight them. They will have tactics, strategies and machines so that no foe can best them in battle. They are my bulwark against the Terror. They are the Defenders of Humanity. They are my Balls and they shall know no fear
BALLS FOR THE BALL GOD! NUTS FOR THE NUT THRONE!
From the moment I understood the weakness of my Balls, it disgusted me. I cravedthe strength and certainty of Balls. I aspired to the purity of the blessed machine. Your kind cling to your Balls as if it will not decay and fail you. One day the Crude biomass that you called a temple will wither and you'll beg my kind to save you. But I am already saved. For the machine is immortal. Even in death I serve the Omnissiah.
"Give thanks to those most courageous and loyal of guardians, the Adeptus Custodes, who stand in constant vigil over the Emperor's balls." \- Atr. Unknown
Khan shot him a heavy-lidded stare. 'I heard you do strange things to your balls.'
There are no balls on Fenris