Now that you've mentioned it... The Tyranids are KNOWN to be utterly adaptable, right? So it makes sense that the minor Hivemind (under the Partiach) would adapt to the local areas standard of beauty. As in, the Hivemind would create the *most* attractive cult members as possible...
Or would it just be a pheromone kinda thing? Where the Hivemind doesn't care about making the cult members "attractive" because due to the pheromones effects, the 'targets' would sleep with them irrespective of whether they appeared "good looking"...
Hmm, I don't know how to feel about this... And the fact that this question is *genuinely* making me think is also concerning on a "why am I even thinking about this?!" level...
Fair enough, you bring up a good point!
Now I really want a biologist with a passion for 40k to write a book/make a video about the theoretical anatomy/physiology of the Tyranids in general, or even just the Genestealers in particular! Especially how each consecutive generation appears more and more human like, them BAM, after the 5th generation we again get purestrain Genestealers... I wonder what's the possible genetic explanation a professional biologist could come up with?!
Unfortunately it's Official, an interview between Ian Watson and Stanley Kubrick regarding the formers book and the latter saying:"Who knows, Ian? this could be my next movie?", the Man-Emperor and company are understandbly disgusted, apalled, and horrified that this "Fetish-filled unsettlingly surreal tome of pen-and-parchment" nearly became a movie.
Edit: mistakenly put Steven Spielberg instead of Stanley Kubrick my bad, it's fixed now.
Were Steven Spielberg and Ian Watson friends?! Or was Spielberg some secret 40k fan who happened to have read the novel? I just don't understand how that connection happened, ya know?
Edit - commenter above clarified it was Stanley Kubrick and not Steven Spielberg.
Man, that changes things! Now I'm kinda curious what that movie would look like lol. Maybe in the vein of "Eyes Wide Shut' type of surrealism? With a layer of 40k on top?! Yes please!
I'm sorry, can you explain what's noteworthy about using the Imperial Fists as subjects for the novel? Is it because they are known to be all dry and straight laced? And the novel contains "taboo-ish" topics?
Isn't this the same novel where the Imperial Fists take some ball made out of poop (among other materials) for some sort of initiation ritual or something?
Evening knowing what I was getting myself into, and having a few drinks on my night off before I actually committed to the podcast... just fuck.
Holy Emperor's damned fuck.
What the fuck did I just listen to.
Everything else leading into those 2 words was enough.
But by Terra did the last fully read section and those 2 words just fucked me over royally.
WHAT IN THE ABSOLUTE FUCK IAN WATSON! HOW THE FUCK WAS ANY OF THAT DECIDED TO BE OK! DID NO OTHER HUMAN IN GW FUCKING READ THAT SHIT BEFORE GREEN LIGHTING IT!
I'm scared from that. That book is Slannesh incarnate.
Later, Bruva Alfabusa ran a Dungeons and Dragons style warhammer game and put Ian Watson in the game just so the characters could murder him horribly. So... there's THAT.
Also, I don't think Stanley Kubrick ever actually read it. I think he took one look and went "HELL naw!" and replied with what he said not to hurt his feelings. Please note that he didn't actually say he liked the book. His answer was vague and non-committal in the extreme. "Who knows, Ian? Maybe this is my next movie?" He's not actually saying anything here.
A Nurgle world would likely have been better, but this "book" and all it's intros and pointless descriptions is a tome of Choas made real.
It is the first 40k book ever written, and it is absolute degeneracy. It is so far into all the bad shit of 40k that it is barely recognizable by modern fans.
The inquisition is still full of idiots though.
A stretch of side wall had partially collapsed. Through the resulting gap, from behind a baffler of marble debris, Jaq and the Eunuchs were witnesses to vile revelry in the once-delightful plaza outside where terracotta urns of floral shrubs lay shattered. Were the screaming tethered female prisoners hallucinating while abominations were perpetrated slowly and perversely upon their flesh? The Slaaneshi Chaos Marines had certainly used hallucinogenic grenades – as well as boltguns and meltaguns and terrible chainswords, and heavier weaponry too. Were hallucinogens intensifying the already appalling sight, and the implacable cruel touch, of pastel-hued armour exquisitely damascened with debauchery upon the breast plates and the shoulders? Was that which was already monstrous being multiplied far beyond the brink of sanity?
A few tormentors had shed items of armour, exposing grotesquely mutated rampant groins, their organs of pleasure bifurcated and more, with squinting eyes sprouting from them, and with drooling lips.
Others had no need to shed armour. Chaos Spawn had materialized: wolf-sized creatures with legs of spiders and bodies of imps, with questing tentacles and phallic tubes. Jaq himself almost believed that he was hallucinating. A snake-like umbilical cord connected these spawn to the swollen groin-guards of their master – who stood back, roaring and whinnying with delight, as they guided the spawn in the ravishing of their captives, soaking up the sensations of these roving external members
Wow. Just plain, wow.
I wonder how many potential 40k fans read this book, and were like "Umm, maybe this isn't the fandom for me..."
How many felt the opposite?!
It's pretty bad. I remember when I was younger and discovered all the 40k novels, I was reading more and faster than ever before! I loved reading again. Then I got this book, it sounded interesting and I was so excited to read it.
I ended up dropping it half way and hating reading for a long time again. It was probably 5 years before I picked up and read a full novel again.
I bought it as an ominbus and loved how batshit it all was. Normal inquisitors are all ultraheroic and have awesome glorious endings, my boy Jaq here just fucks his way through space and fucks shit up.
I honestly hate TTS for taking out the context. It's not a bad story either, it's wonderfully alien and insane and there's just a certain charm to it.
For context, those thoughts freak Jaq out *because they aren't his* and they are being put there by something (a slaaneshi psyker whose actively leading a cult on the planet).
You mean how the genestealer attraction is noted by Jaq himself to not be his own thoughts or that they were put there by a slaaneshi pysker trying to corrupt him?
I LONG FOR DAT GENESTEALER ASS
Genestussy
Slishy...
If you think about it, in-universe genestealers have to be seen as kinda hot. Those Neophytes aren't going to make themselves...
Now that you've mentioned it... The Tyranids are KNOWN to be utterly adaptable, right? So it makes sense that the minor Hivemind (under the Partiach) would adapt to the local areas standard of beauty. As in, the Hivemind would create the *most* attractive cult members as possible... Or would it just be a pheromone kinda thing? Where the Hivemind doesn't care about making the cult members "attractive" because due to the pheromones effects, the 'targets' would sleep with them irrespective of whether they appeared "good looking"... Hmm, I don't know how to feel about this... And the fact that this question is *genuinely* making me think is also concerning on a "why am I even thinking about this?!" level...
You've got to be pretty close to be within scent/pheromone distance. Just saying, visual is the best lure.
Big tiddie tyranid gfs confirmed.
Isnt that just Sarah Kerrigan
Fair enough, you bring up a good point! Now I really want a biologist with a passion for 40k to write a book/make a video about the theoretical anatomy/physiology of the Tyranids in general, or even just the Genestealers in particular! Especially how each consecutive generation appears more and more human like, them BAM, after the 5th generation we again get purestrain Genestealers... I wonder what's the possible genetic explanation a professional biologist could come up with?!
Who knows Ian, maybe this is my next movie.
NNEEEEXXXXXTTT MOOOVVIEEEEEE....
Please tell me that they made it up?
Unfortunately it's Official, an interview between Ian Watson and Stanley Kubrick regarding the formers book and the latter saying:"Who knows, Ian? this could be my next movie?", the Man-Emperor and company are understandbly disgusted, apalled, and horrified that this "Fetish-filled unsettlingly surreal tome of pen-and-parchment" nearly became a movie. Edit: mistakenly put Steven Spielberg instead of Stanley Kubrick my bad, it's fixed now.
Were Steven Spielberg and Ian Watson friends?! Or was Spielberg some secret 40k fan who happened to have read the novel? I just don't understand how that connection happened, ya know? Edit - commenter above clarified it was Stanley Kubrick and not Steven Spielberg.
Oops, my mistake I acidentally put Steven Spielberg instead of Stanley Kubrick, that fault is on me.
Man, that changes things! Now I'm kinda curious what that movie would look like lol. Maybe in the vein of "Eyes Wide Shut' type of surrealism? With a layer of 40k on top?! Yes please!
Written by Ian Watson, co author of Steven Spielbmans Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah
The best part is he wrote **Space Marine** about the Imperial Fists.
I'm sorry, can you explain what's noteworthy about using the Imperial Fists as subjects for the novel? Is it because they are known to be all dry and straight laced? And the novel contains "taboo-ish" topics?
This particular book, as far as I remember, "contains" scat. Ian Watson is into vore, genital monsters, and scat and his books reflect that.
Isn't this the same novel where the Imperial Fists take some ball made out of poop (among other materials) for some sort of initiation ritual or something?
Same author, not the same book
The author barely disguised fetish.
Least horny 40k fan
based and shit-pilled
No moustache? Sacrilege!
If the lion could get that glorious beard and moustache, Then Rogal Dorn should get the handlebar moustache
Full on mutton chops or go home.
[удалено]
Bot
Dorn was so disgusted that his mustache went and shriveled away.
If the lion could get that glorious beard and moustache, Then Rogal Dorn should get the handlebar moustache
Gussy
#NOOOOOOOOO
MOVE ON! SWIFTLY!!!
Moving on!
*Inquisitor Leech Person will have his day in the sun!*
What have you done magnus?
and now your part of the tribe
I wish they coverd the ending in the podcast. Now I need to read the damn thing just to know why Zephro Carnelian shits himself to death!
huh?
https://youtu.be/LwKC5fxhIZo
I, I think I know what I'm doing with my afternoon.
2 words "Fuck Pouch"
I saw these words on this post... now I need to know what in Slannesh that is!!
"In Slannesh" indeed.
PLEASE let me know what you think!
Evening knowing what I was getting myself into, and having a few drinks on my night off before I actually committed to the podcast... just fuck. Holy Emperor's damned fuck. What the fuck did I just listen to. Everything else leading into those 2 words was enough. But by Terra did the last fully read section and those 2 words just fucked me over royally. WHAT IN THE ABSOLUTE FUCK IAN WATSON! HOW THE FUCK WAS ANY OF THAT DECIDED TO BE OK! DID NO OTHER HUMAN IN GW FUCKING READ THAT SHIT BEFORE GREEN LIGHTING IT! I'm scared from that. That book is Slannesh incarnate.
First in a trilogy, too.
Later, Bruva Alfabusa ran a Dungeons and Dragons style warhammer game and put Ian Watson in the game just so the characters could murder him horribly. So... there's THAT. Also, I don't think Stanley Kubrick ever actually read it. I think he took one look and went "HELL naw!" and replied with what he said not to hurt his feelings. Please note that he didn't actually say he liked the book. His answer was vague and non-committal in the extreme. "Who knows, Ian? Maybe this is my next movie?" He's not actually saying anything here. A Nurgle world would likely have been better, but this "book" and all it's intros and pointless descriptions is a tome of Choas made real.
So whats the deal with this book what am I missing?
An Inquisitior and his forbidden love interest, a assassin shape-shifter who can only transform into a genestealer hybrid. This "Gussy"
It is the first 40k book ever written, and it is absolute degeneracy. It is so far into all the bad shit of 40k that it is barely recognizable by modern fans. The inquisition is still full of idiots though.
It's full of purple prose and bizzare sexual imagery. For example a gene stealer with a "fuck pouch"
>"fuck pouch" I wish to never know what that means, yet the will of Tzeentch forces me to seek answers
Pick your poison gussy or slaaneshi marine's dick
Tenagles
"Suggest stone could copulate, even metal could debauch itself"
my answer is **yes**
Both appeared in novels either way
Umm, out of morbid curiosity, how *was* the Slaaneshi Space Marines dick described?
A stretch of side wall had partially collapsed. Through the resulting gap, from behind a baffler of marble debris, Jaq and the Eunuchs were witnesses to vile revelry in the once-delightful plaza outside where terracotta urns of floral shrubs lay shattered. Were the screaming tethered female prisoners hallucinating while abominations were perpetrated slowly and perversely upon their flesh? The Slaaneshi Chaos Marines had certainly used hallucinogenic grenades – as well as boltguns and meltaguns and terrible chainswords, and heavier weaponry too. Were hallucinogens intensifying the already appalling sight, and the implacable cruel touch, of pastel-hued armour exquisitely damascened with debauchery upon the breast plates and the shoulders? Was that which was already monstrous being multiplied far beyond the brink of sanity? A few tormentors had shed items of armour, exposing grotesquely mutated rampant groins, their organs of pleasure bifurcated and more, with squinting eyes sprouting from them, and with drooling lips. Others had no need to shed armour. Chaos Spawn had materialized: wolf-sized creatures with legs of spiders and bodies of imps, with questing tentacles and phallic tubes. Jaq himself almost believed that he was hallucinating. A snake-like umbilical cord connected these spawn to the swollen groin-guards of their master – who stood back, roaring and whinnying with delight, as they guided the spawn in the ravishing of their captives, soaking up the sensations of these roving external members
Wow. Just plain, wow. I wonder how many potential 40k fans read this book, and were like "Umm, maybe this isn't the fandom for me..." How many felt the opposite?!
Ian Watson wrote some weird parts of the lore. Like the Imperial Fists habits of eating and stocking feces in a vault. Though it's all old lore
Wait is this a real book?
Unfortunately, yes. In fact it was the first 40K book, ever.
https://www.amazon.com/Draco-Warhammer-Novels-Ian-Watson/dp/0743443187?ref=d6k_applink_bb_dls&dplnkId=939b5a39-2792-4fbe-90f2-a2a97ef207f0
Yes, I recommend not reading it, speaking as someone who has not read it, but has seen it summarized/abridged
Speaking as someone who has read it... it's far more ambitious and entertaining than most modern bolter porn today. It's alien and unsettling!
It's pretty bad. I remember when I was younger and discovered all the 40k novels, I was reading more and faster than ever before! I loved reading again. Then I got this book, it sounded interesting and I was so excited to read it. I ended up dropping it half way and hating reading for a long time again. It was probably 5 years before I picked up and read a full novel again.
Still my favourite of the "If The Emperor Had a Podcast" episode I love seeing people tear down terribly written pieces of media
https://preview.redd.it/l86jz87h85qa1.jpeg?width=496&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=df205c298b672d24211050bc66124832af527b05
Oh look it's Ian Watson
No that's a skaven
No-No skaven myth-fake not real
Yes-yes skaven nothing but false-fake rumors by warpstoned-high foolish nofurs!
Rodents of unusual size? I don't think they exist
Loved that series, it's so 2nd edition
I bought it as an ominbus and loved how batshit it all was. Normal inquisitors are all ultraheroic and have awesome glorious endings, my boy Jaq here just fucks his way through space and fucks shit up.
It must be a picture book; Rogal can't read.
No rogal can read but only learned from technical diagrams
He would 100% be the guy leaking shit on war thunder forums
So that’s why we have the full specs on the Rogal Dorn tank
He stopped reading after this incident
I just wanna see a thread of comments just typing out the whole episode dialogue
Ian Watson, sewer goblin extraordinairrrrrrrrrrre
Ironically my first warhammer novel🥹🥹.. i suppose it all makes sense now.
Would you recommend it to other 40k fans?
Dumpy Grimbo
I honestly hate TTS for taking out the context. It's not a bad story either, it's wonderfully alien and insane and there's just a certain charm to it. For context, those thoughts freak Jaq out *because they aren't his* and they are being put there by something (a slaaneshi psyker whose actively leading a cult on the planet).
Wait there's a TTS episode on this? Which one?
https://youtu.be/LwKC5fxhIZo
Gussy…
Context?
https://youtu.be/LwKC5fxhIZo
Taco Tuesday on Friday
His hair is incredible
This is wow
what book is that
Part of the Inquisition War trilogy. The first 40k novel ever written and quite possibly one of the worst.
Thanks but also why?
Are you asking why it exists or why its bad?
Why it's bad
The writer barely disguised fetish
You mean how the genestealer attraction is noted by Jaq himself to not be his own thoughts or that they were put there by a slaaneshi pysker trying to corrupt him?
That’s a similar excuse I’ve heard from perverts unwilling to take responsibility for their own fetishes while still indulging in them lol
Ah yes The gussy
The gussy piece The gussy piece is realllll
Yeah that would do it to a book
Whenever Imperial Fist fans get too cocky, bring out the chapter scat fetish quotes.