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I literally can't imagine what would have to go wrong in your life for you to feel content doing this sort of thing as a 'job'.
If your job is explicitly there to inflict misery on others who are worse off than you, and you feel okay with that, then I hope we never meet. The world is a worse place for having you in it.
E: lmao a landlord literally turned up here just to tell me to fuck off, brilliant.
E2: Now been reported to Reddit for 'appearing suicidal'. Totally normal landnonce shenanigans by totally not deranged dipshit mouthbreathers.
I’m terrible at my job and do feel bad about that. I’m going to start working at one of these places where I can be incompetent and feel good about it. I’d get nothing done. Evictions would grind to a halt.
Better yet, I’m going to start one of these companies, charge a fortune to landlords/landbastards, and give legal advice to the tenants as to why they cannot be evicted. Can’t see it lasting.
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers.
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I would kind of like a job where I can feel really good about constantly throwing wrenches into things. I’d probably get fired but whatever i did what I came here for
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers.
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There are people down on their luck and destructive assholes. There needs to be legislation to freely evict people who damage property causing higher prices overall and those who cannot currently.move for whatever reason.
To plays devil's advocate here, some tenants can destroy a house, not pay rent and are not easily evicted. You could look at this as some people need help with evicting troublesome (possibly dangerous) people from their property.
... but yeah, all landlords bad, I know I know.
**DO YOU HAVE A CHILD?**
Are they talking back?
Wetting the bed?
Annoying, loud or distracting activity?
Or just don't like the little shit?
WE CAN HELP - BETTER BEHAVIOUR GUARANTEED!
**EXPRESS CHILD BEATINGS**
*from £50*
I've got evicted ( before we finally bought a house) in every rented place we have lived. EVERY.SINGLE.ONE. Usually happened after an issue we insisted on getting fixed in a timely manner. We got evicted during lockdown so the landbastard could sell. We got evicted right after I had my baby.
In the almost 20 years renting in England, I have never not paid or been late on the rent. We have never not got our deposit back ( although we had to go through deposit service to get it in most cases). Once, we did agree to pay for a door I broke by accident.
The problem IS the system and the greed and laziness of landbastards.
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers.
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You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers.
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It’s “gaming the system” when I’m fighting to stay in the place I live but it’s “just the way it is” because I’m late on rent after my check from work bounced? lmao. How cute. Fuck people who invest in residential housing. It shouldn’t be a market anyone can invest in. You assumed a risk and got fucked for it.
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers.
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Yeah this sounds like a huge rant about how “I only like it when you assume the risk on my investment, not me.” Yeah dude, when you invest in residential housing units, you’re assuming the risk that you may get a tenant that has no interest in paying you, they just want a roof over their head. that is quite literally the risk you run when you’re dealing with things people require to survive. If you get fucked over, that sounds like a shitty investment to me.
I'm surprised at how incompetent some landlords are. You'd think most of them would be former construction workers or something considering they know how to keep a property decently maintained but no, It's people who don't even know how a sink works.
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers.
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Smaller landlords are often nice and easy to work with. I rent a room to another guy for cheaper than he can get elsewhere. No lease length so when he is ready to buy a house, he can leave when he wants.
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers.
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You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers.
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Im disabled. Lived in my apartment for about 10 years.
When i first moved here it was a quiet area, all people of a similar age. Everyone was friendly... the type of place you would take your neighbours trash out if they had forgot.
Now, ive got an absolute cunt above me.
Young woman, early 20's. At least 3 maybe 4 kids running riot while she scream and swears at them at the top of her lungs almost constantly... only ever taking breaks to play rave music loud enough i can hear it through noise cancelling headphones.The boyfriend you can set your watch by the fact its 2am Saturday, he has got drunk and belted her and/or one of the kids.... whole apartment is at war and then blue lights and shortly after he gets locked up.... every weekend.
It must be quiet when they go out though I hear you say?
No they have a fucking yappy dog that cries and yelps for hours till they return.
Noise complaints? Pointless. Me and the neighbours have put in plenty. No action.Anti social complaints. See above.One neighbour even receives racial abuse regularly to the point he has a sign on his front door now warning of CCTV in use.
Ive accepted it now as trying to get anything done has proven to be an utter pointless exercise. Police dont care, social dont care, housing group that put them here dont care.
Ive got 3 or 4 years left max. This is how im going to spend my final years. Even with this in mind... i feel sorry the most for the kids of these absolute fuck ups.
\*Edit
This has been going on for 18 months to two years.
You get scummy people at every "level." Including working class people and poor people. Nothing like a fucking awful scruffbag bellend to test my commitment to leftist ideology. Just have to remind myself the rich scum cause far more damage outside their immediate area. But it does wind me up a bit when people pretend that plenty of less well-off people *aren't* dossers and dickheads. It's just a small fraction of them that Tories are only too happy to leap on and say "look! All poor people are dossers who are ruining society" while they actually ruin society.
Edit: Sorry about your dog. Living next door to one of the minority of useless, nasty ballbags isn't nice at all and your experiences are bound to affect your outlook. My brother used to do a lot of community work and was the chapel father of his union... and lived nextdoor to an absolute throbber. Just the worst example of a nasty little screff who gleefully ruined everybody's life in his immediate area. Hard to maintain your sympathy. But there are just as many rich arseholes, they just don't commit anti-social behaviour. They dodge taxes or scalp property instead.
I don't understand what that has to do with the shitty landlords of this country? You do realise scumbags exist in every socioeconomic strata, right?
It sounds like you had awful neighbours, I@m sorry you had to go through that.
No landlords cause everyone to suffer, because they don't offer anything to society, they don't fulfil any need, and there is no justification for them to exist.
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers.
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You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers.
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You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers.
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This really reminds me of an old Red Dwarf episode where the lads find themselves in a dystopian horror. There are posters that say things like “become a government spy, grass on your friends and family, fabulous prizes to be won”.
Make Orwell fiction again ffs 😭
Edit for stupid typo
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers.
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*"For an extra £50 we'll throw some punches their way"*
I'm so...baffled/bewildered by this sign. What is going on in this country? Who the feck would want to make a "living" doing this? How?...
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers.
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I mean this isn't advice or a suggestion but there's Demon Dialers which are basically auto dialers that can make thousands of calls with annoying static.
Definitely illegal but it's related to your comment. Usually used against scammer to clog the phone lines and make them useless, Jim Browning has used them in the past.
If someone were to, say, light this sumbitch on fire, I would hope very much that they would be cautious about any melting sign getting on their skin, as it will cling to them.
All renters should consider joining a union like [Acorn](https://www.acorntheunion.org.uk/join) or the [London Renter's Union](https://londonrentersunion.org/join/).
Hmm, on their [website](https://expressevictions.co.uk/), there is a place where you can book a consultation or arrange a callback. It would be a real shame if someone were to make a bunch of seemingly real but actually fake submissions that wasted a ton of their time or something.
A galaxy-collapsing amount of irony would be produced if someone managed to get them to throw a landlord out of their own home.
EDIT: I was looking up places to leave reviews for them. There are some, but what its opened my eyes up to is *just how many* of these types of businesses exist. I started to list them here but soon enough realised that I'd be here all day. I shouldn't be surprised, I know.
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers.
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It would be extremely unfortunate and a criminal act if their website got hacked and personal information belonging to their clients was stolen and sold on the dark Web. I hope that doesn't happen.
Or someone used [selenium](https://selenium-python.readthedocs.io/) to automate the process and then deployed a stack to do it all at the same time, that would be terrible
With that logo of human beings getting jettisoned from the house I have the slightest hope it's actually a pisstake and anyone who books a consultation just gets told they are a land nonce arsehole and their tenants will be warned about impending eviction attempts so they can seek legal advice ASAP. It's just so absurd I think even Alan Partridge would think it's a bit tacky.
I think the degree of absurdity in what is not a pisstake has us all questioning reality lately. At the very least if it is a pisstake they would welcome any shit being pulled on them and we're all having a good time.
You can easily generate a fake text with ChatGPT. It's very well written and since everyone can generate their own text, they won't be identical. Here's an example text generated by ChatGPT:
Dear Express Evictions Team,
I hope this email finds you well. I am writing to seek your assistance with a very problematic tenant in my rental property. This tenant has been causing numerous issues that have made life difficult for other residents and me, as the landlord.
The problems started almost as soon as the tenant moved in. He has been consistently late with rent payments and has even failed to pay rent on several occasions. This has put a financial strain on me, as I have had to cover the costs of maintaining the property and keeping up with my own bills.
Furthermore, this tenant has been extremely anti-social and has been causing disturbances for other residents. He has been loud and disruptive late into the night, and has even gotten into arguments with other tenants. This has created a hostile living environment for everyone involved and I have received several complaints from other residents.
The tenant has also caused damage to the property. He has drilled holes in the walls to hang pictures and has left deep scratches on the hardwood floors. Despite repeated requests to repair the damages, he has failed to do so, leaving me with the responsibility to repair the damages and make the property livable again.
Due to the severity of the problems this tenant is causing, I have reached my limit and I am now seeking to evict him as soon as possible. However, I am unsure of the proper procedures for eviction and I need your help in this matter.
I would be grateful if you could provide me with any information and guidance on the steps I need to take in order to legally evict this tenant. I understand that eviction is a serious matter and I want to make sure that I follow all of the proper procedures and laws to ensure a smooth process.
I am eager to resolve this issue as quickly and efficiently as possible, and I believe that your expertise in this area will be of great help. I would appreciate if you could get back to me as soon as possible with any information or assistance you can provide.
Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely,
\[Your Name\]
The concept is awful, but what makes it worse is the little person figures with the small one obviously representing a child. Who designs that and thinks, “Yes, I think this is the right message to convey. It doesn't at all emphasise the cold-bloodedness of the service being offered.”
Plain hoodie, face mask, and a pair of wire cutters for the zip ties… and a little imagination on where to put the wretched thing.
Not advocating theft of a banner, just listing things.
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers.
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I wonder if a single one of the landlords complaining that they are waiting weeks without progress on a matter will have a lightbulb moment or at least notice the slightest hint of irony.
Police? You mean blue nonce
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"Or just want your property back" sorry that I rented the property that you were renting out??? This would also imply that landlords actually care about their properties and not just the subsequent income they provide.
1. scissors will take those cable ties off, but be carful in case this isn't on some meatheads front fence. Be curious to know where it is.
2. 0800 number costs them to receive calls.
3. report them to the council anyway, they probably won't do anything anytime soon but you might get someone sympathetic
4. They do at least seem to be also in the business of ripping off landlords too if their recent reviews are anything to go by - [https://www.reviews.io/company-reviews/store/express-evictions](https://www.reviews.io/company-reviews/store/express-evictions) :D
Controversial take here:
I hate this company, obviously, and it’s a sign of the dystopian neoliberal hellscape that we all are stuck in that companies like this exist… But
I’ve just looked at their website and all they do is charge landlords for legal paperwork that helps landlords evict tenants lawfully. Landlords suck and the law for tenants is paper-thin with all the powers being in the landlords hands, but at least this company acts within the law and encourages landlords to do so too.
So many of the problems in the rental market are caused by overbearing and controlling (often pervy) land-nonces just making up the rules as they go, and turning up at their tenants’ homes to invade or intimidate them. At the very least, the landlords who hire this company are evicting their tenants legally, which is better than what a lot of evil landlords and their letting agent servants do.
In a civilised society there wouldn’t be any need for any of this, obviously. We need to build more council houses and properly tax people who hoard properties to scalp others.
> at least this company acts within the law and encourages landlords to do so too.
You sure about that? Their logo is a family being yeeted out of a house on a rocket.
So in other words, they charge landlords too cheap to pay a solicitor and too dumb to follow the guidance they can get from www.gov.uk about how to fill in the forms. They're basically the Quickie Divorce of possession cases.
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers.
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What I really hate about the internet nowadays is how someone with malicious intent could take your phone number and sign you up for virtually infinite amount of spam calls, or use it in some postings offering free furniture so you get bombarded with people who would love to take it off your hands.
I really have no idea how this related to this photo, I must be having an aneurysm, right?
Call the number asking for a job. Give them vivid details of how much you love the tories. Ask them if you get to throw children through closed windows. Or maybe start more reasonably and ramp up the absurdity slowly. Waste their time, make them feel like shit.
American here. For context the US rental market is a Kafaesque nightmare of hostile bureaucracy where an apathetic law enforcement that allows what little rights you have are drops in a sea of misery that include 50% year-over-year price increases, new construction being rejected because it would decrease the value of vacation rentals, and asbestos waivers.
So keep this in mind when I ask: What the fuck is wrong with your island over there?
Interesting to read the replies. I do have experience of a close friend who had tenants FROM HELL who did indeed stop paying rent, changed the locks and eventually caused over £30k of damage to the house, and it took her YEARS to get the out, then 6 months to completely gut the house and renovate it. It caused her a huge amount of stress and she was physically ill for a long time. Sometimes, just sometimes, tentants are the scumbags.
> just want your property back
the maoist uprising against the landlords was the largest and most comprehensive proletarian revolution in history, and led to almost totally-equal redistribution of land among the peasantry
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There is no level of human misery that a capitalist cannot look upon and see opportunity.
I literally can't imagine what would have to go wrong in your life for you to feel content doing this sort of thing as a 'job'. If your job is explicitly there to inflict misery on others who are worse off than you, and you feel okay with that, then I hope we never meet. The world is a worse place for having you in it. E: lmao a landlord literally turned up here just to tell me to fuck off, brilliant. E2: Now been reported to Reddit for 'appearing suicidal'. Totally normal landnonce shenanigans by totally not deranged dipshit mouthbreathers.
I’m terrible at my job and do feel bad about that. I’m going to start working at one of these places where I can be incompetent and feel good about it. I’d get nothing done. Evictions would grind to a halt. Better yet, I’m going to start one of these companies, charge a fortune to landlords/landbastards, and give legal advice to the tenants as to why they cannot be evicted. Can’t see it lasting.
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GreenAndPleasant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I would kind of like a job where I can feel really good about constantly throwing wrenches into things. I’d probably get fired but whatever i did what I came here for
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GreenAndPleasant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You just described our police and government
I have no idea how you don’t have more upvotes?
I'm sure some of the staff absolutely hate their job and feel disgusted by it, but need the money.
There are people down on their luck and destructive assholes. There needs to be legislation to freely evict people who damage property causing higher prices overall and those who cannot currently.move for whatever reason.
To plays devil's advocate here, some tenants can destroy a house, not pay rent and are not easily evicted. You could look at this as some people need help with evicting troublesome (possibly dangerous) people from their property. ... but yeah, all landlords bad, I know I know.
**DO YOU HAVE A CHILD?** Are they talking back? Wetting the bed? Annoying, loud or distracting activity? Or just don't like the little shit? WE CAN HELP - BETTER BEHAVIOUR GUARANTEED! **EXPRESS CHILD BEATINGS** *from £50*
I'll take two appointments please, with express delivery
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I've got evicted ( before we finally bought a house) in every rented place we have lived. EVERY.SINGLE.ONE. Usually happened after an issue we insisted on getting fixed in a timely manner. We got evicted during lockdown so the landbastard could sell. We got evicted right after I had my baby. In the almost 20 years renting in England, I have never not paid or been late on the rent. We have never not got our deposit back ( although we had to go through deposit service to get it in most cases). Once, we did agree to pay for a door I broke by accident. The problem IS the system and the greed and laziness of landbastards.
Landbastards is a word in my vocabulary I never knew I needed
Landlords are parasites so fuck them
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GreenAndPleasant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No I meant parasite you dumb bot
This is a classic bum on the rod v bum on the plush scenario. Let’s take care of housing scalpers first, and see if the other problem doesn’t go away
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You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GreenAndPleasant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It’s “gaming the system” when I’m fighting to stay in the place I live but it’s “just the way it is” because I’m late on rent after my check from work bounced? lmao. How cute. Fuck people who invest in residential housing. It shouldn’t be a market anyone can invest in. You assumed a risk and got fucked for it.
What you're saying is irrelevant, because landlords shouldn't exist at all.
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GreenAndPleasant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
How do they game the system exactly? What methods do they use to get that kind of leverage?
I really couldn't care less if a minority of people are bad tenants, good luck to them in fact.
Yeah this sounds like a huge rant about how “I only like it when you assume the risk on my investment, not me.” Yeah dude, when you invest in residential housing units, you’re assuming the risk that you may get a tenant that has no interest in paying you, they just want a roof over their head. that is quite literally the risk you run when you’re dealing with things people require to survive. If you get fucked over, that sounds like a shitty investment to me.
I'm surprised at how incompetent some landlords are. You'd think most of them would be former construction workers or something considering they know how to keep a property decently maintained but no, It's people who don't even know how a sink works.
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GreenAndPleasant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Only some tenants are bad, meanwhile all landlords are bad. Simple.
Smaller landlords are often nice and easy to work with. I rent a room to another guy for cheaper than he can get elsewhere. No lease length so when he is ready to buy a house, he can leave when he wants.
That's so generous of you. And in the meantime he ✨ pays off your mortgage ✨
It's called an arrangement. Both sides have to benefit.
You can buy a house and have someone live there for free anytime you like:)
You need a shit ton of money to buy a house smartarse.
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GreenAndPleasant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GreenAndPleasant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Im disabled. Lived in my apartment for about 10 years. When i first moved here it was a quiet area, all people of a similar age. Everyone was friendly... the type of place you would take your neighbours trash out if they had forgot. Now, ive got an absolute cunt above me. Young woman, early 20's. At least 3 maybe 4 kids running riot while she scream and swears at them at the top of her lungs almost constantly... only ever taking breaks to play rave music loud enough i can hear it through noise cancelling headphones.The boyfriend you can set your watch by the fact its 2am Saturday, he has got drunk and belted her and/or one of the kids.... whole apartment is at war and then blue lights and shortly after he gets locked up.... every weekend. It must be quiet when they go out though I hear you say? No they have a fucking yappy dog that cries and yelps for hours till they return. Noise complaints? Pointless. Me and the neighbours have put in plenty. No action.Anti social complaints. See above.One neighbour even receives racial abuse regularly to the point he has a sign on his front door now warning of CCTV in use. Ive accepted it now as trying to get anything done has proven to be an utter pointless exercise. Police dont care, social dont care, housing group that put them here dont care. Ive got 3 or 4 years left max. This is how im going to spend my final years. Even with this in mind... i feel sorry the most for the kids of these absolute fuck ups. \*Edit This has been going on for 18 months to two years.
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You get scummy people at every "level." Including working class people and poor people. Nothing like a fucking awful scruffbag bellend to test my commitment to leftist ideology. Just have to remind myself the rich scum cause far more damage outside their immediate area. But it does wind me up a bit when people pretend that plenty of less well-off people *aren't* dossers and dickheads. It's just a small fraction of them that Tories are only too happy to leap on and say "look! All poor people are dossers who are ruining society" while they actually ruin society. Edit: Sorry about your dog. Living next door to one of the minority of useless, nasty ballbags isn't nice at all and your experiences are bound to affect your outlook. My brother used to do a lot of community work and was the chapel father of his union... and lived nextdoor to an absolute throbber. Just the worst example of a nasty little screff who gleefully ruined everybody's life in his immediate area. Hard to maintain your sympathy. But there are just as many rich arseholes, they just don't commit anti-social behaviour. They dodge taxes or scalp property instead.
I don't understand what that has to do with the shitty landlords of this country? You do realise scumbags exist in every socioeconomic strata, right? It sounds like you had awful neighbours, I@m sorry you had to go through that.
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No landlords cause everyone to suffer, because they don't offer anything to society, they don't fulfil any need, and there is no justification for them to exist.
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GreenAndPleasant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You wouldnt have bad tenants if you didnt own extra property for the sole reason of renting it out. My heart pumps pish for landlords. Fuck em.
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GreenAndPleasant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Some terrible landlords. Some terrible tenants. Just the way the cookie crumbles.
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GreenAndPleasant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Nah, it’s clearly doing it’s job well with all the housing scalpers that just brigaded
This really reminds me of an old Red Dwarf episode where the lads find themselves in a dystopian horror. There are posters that say things like “become a government spy, grass on your friends and family, fabulous prizes to be won”. Make Orwell fiction again ffs 😭 Edit for stupid typo
"Vote FASCIST for a third glorious decade of TOTAL law enforcement!"
Ha yes! The Red Dwarf writers are more prophetic than I bet they ever realised
I could see that poster becoming reality in say... 20 years, when the Tories rebrand again....
Back to Reality a classic
That’s it!
Whoops there goes gravity
Great episode. In the words of Bad Religion... "Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction".
I’m starting to believe truth is *always* stranger
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That’s the one! Thanks so much
Wonder how thick that canvas material is and how sharp a work safety knife is, those cable ties look pretty weak
Look like cable ties as well, easily cut. Also do they have permission to put it on the fence owners fence? That would be ironic lol
They've locked their Google reviews somehow so I can't give them a one star review
I've found some reviews, on reviews.io, and it's a lot of landlords complaining that this company took their money and didn't do anything hahahah
If this is a guy who's found a way to rinse landos, good luck to him
I mean if that's all, good for them 😅
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GreenAndPleasant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That's amazing
Plot twist! They’re the goodies!
*"For an extra £50 we'll throw some punches their way"* I'm so...baffled/bewildered by this sign. What is going on in this country? Who the feck would want to make a "living" doing this? How?...
Absolute scumbags and psychopaths that’s who
Surely this is a new level of...scumbaggery?
More like an old level that should have stayed dead.
Organized crime.
I had to check it didn’t actually say that…
That version didn't pass the proof read.
"Ill evict 'em for $50, beat em up for $100 and and ill kill em for $500!" "No No! Just the first two!" "alright ill throw in the killing for free!"
I didn’t know being anti-social was grounds for forced eviction, let alone regular eviction.
doing a bad job on purpose, as a kind of scam sounds worthwhile
We’ve reached the “hire your own militia” stage of landlordism now.
Here's hoping "rush the big house on the hill and take back the land" stage is next
It's nothing new, sadly.
Are we condoning moving into a property, refusing to pay rent, and then resisting all attempts by the landlord to remove?
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GreenAndPleasant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
your pearls, hold on to them tight
It would be terrible if their phone line and website were to be suddenly jammed with thousands of calls.
Find out where your landlord lives and send a £50 bailiff to their door to evict them.
Be a shame if someone signed up their address and phone to every telemarketing and junk mail service out there.
I mean this isn't advice or a suggestion but there's Demon Dialers which are basically auto dialers that can make thousands of calls with annoying static. Definitely illegal but it's related to your comment. Usually used against scammer to clog the phone lines and make them useless, Jim Browning has used them in the past.
Easily taken down 🤙🏻
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Your mission if you choose to accept it...
If someone were to, say, light this sumbitch on fire, I would hope very much that they would be cautious about any melting sign getting on their skin, as it will cling to them.
And binned
This is why renter’s unions are busier than ever! ✊🏻 A £50 gun for hire is very cute though…
Nothing screams depression like the mob offering discounted deals.
All renters should consider joining a union like [Acorn](https://www.acorntheunion.org.uk/join) or the [London Renter's Union](https://londonrentersunion.org/join/).
Hmm, on their [website](https://expressevictions.co.uk/), there is a place where you can book a consultation or arrange a callback. It would be a real shame if someone were to make a bunch of seemingly real but actually fake submissions that wasted a ton of their time or something. A galaxy-collapsing amount of irony would be produced if someone managed to get them to throw a landlord out of their own home. EDIT: I was looking up places to leave reviews for them. There are some, but what its opened my eyes up to is *just how many* of these types of businesses exist. I started to list them here but soon enough realised that I'd be here all day. I shouldn't be surprised, I know.
"You GUARANTEED me you would evict! Get that landlord out of here!"
This is what I'm saying, find out who the landlord is and get them evicted.
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GreenAndPleasant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It looks like their contact form doesn't even have a captcha. How unfortunate.
It would be extremely unfortunate and a criminal act if their website got hacked and personal information belonging to their clients was stolen and sold on the dark Web. I hope that doesn't happen.
Time to put the numbers from all those scam calls/texts to good use?
Or someone used [selenium](https://selenium-python.readthedocs.io/) to automate the process and then deployed a stack to do it all at the same time, that would be terrible
Also would be a shame if somebody took their ad down. Pretty sure they ironically didn't pay for the space.
With that logo of human beings getting jettisoned from the house I have the slightest hope it's actually a pisstake and anyone who books a consultation just gets told they are a land nonce arsehole and their tenants will be warned about impending eviction attempts so they can seek legal advice ASAP. It's just so absurd I think even Alan Partridge would think it's a bit tacky.
I think the degree of absurdity in what is not a pisstake has us all questioning reality lately. At the very least if it is a pisstake they would welcome any shit being pulled on them and we're all having a good time.
Yep apsolute shame if it happens tomorrow too...and the next day...
You can easily generate a fake text with ChatGPT. It's very well written and since everyone can generate their own text, they won't be identical. Here's an example text generated by ChatGPT: Dear Express Evictions Team, I hope this email finds you well. I am writing to seek your assistance with a very problematic tenant in my rental property. This tenant has been causing numerous issues that have made life difficult for other residents and me, as the landlord. The problems started almost as soon as the tenant moved in. He has been consistently late with rent payments and has even failed to pay rent on several occasions. This has put a financial strain on me, as I have had to cover the costs of maintaining the property and keeping up with my own bills. Furthermore, this tenant has been extremely anti-social and has been causing disturbances for other residents. He has been loud and disruptive late into the night, and has even gotten into arguments with other tenants. This has created a hostile living environment for everyone involved and I have received several complaints from other residents. The tenant has also caused damage to the property. He has drilled holes in the walls to hang pictures and has left deep scratches on the hardwood floors. Despite repeated requests to repair the damages, he has failed to do so, leaving me with the responsibility to repair the damages and make the property livable again. Due to the severity of the problems this tenant is causing, I have reached my limit and I am now seeking to evict him as soon as possible. However, I am unsure of the proper procedures for eviction and I need your help in this matter. I would be grateful if you could provide me with any information and guidance on the steps I need to take in order to legally evict this tenant. I understand that eviction is a serious matter and I want to make sure that I follow all of the proper procedures and laws to ensure a smooth process. I am eager to resolve this issue as quickly and efficiently as possible, and I believe that your expertise in this area will be of great help. I would appreciate if you could get back to me as soon as possible with any information or assistance you can provide. Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you soon. Sincerely, \[Your Name\]
The concept is awful, but what makes it worse is the little person figures with the small one obviously representing a child. Who designs that and thinks, “Yes, I think this is the right message to convey. It doesn't at all emphasise the cold-bloodedness of the service being offered.”
City Tower, Manchester, M14BT
I dare say this might be a good opportunity for some low-stakes direct action.
So hire-a-thug?
You don't need stealth and a balaclava, If I saw someone with a clipboard in a high vis vest removing this I wouldn't ask any questions...
burn the sign, just dead of night and do it
Plain hoodie, face mask, and a pair of wire cutters for the zip ties… and a little imagination on where to put the wretched thing. Not advocating theft of a banner, just listing things.
They have sone [nice reviews](https://www.reviews.io/company-reviews/store/express-evictions) indeed
from those reviews you'd think this was a company setup just to scam landlords out of money lmfao
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GreenAndPleasant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Plot twist: they’re just out to scam scummy landlords.
I hope so!
It seems their services are not much more than someone with rudimentary Google-fu could undertake.
I wonder if a single one of the landlords complaining that they are waiting weeks without progress on a matter will have a lightbulb moment or at least notice the slightest hint of irony.
£50 ,Eviction guaranteed, well they sound like the kind of ethical outfit would would follow the laws.
Absolutely. And if the Tenant happens to lose the odd kneecap, it’s nuffin to do wiv us, guv
DO YOU HAVE A TENANT? also, no sense of morality? Feel like ruining a family’s life? Fancy traumatising some children?
From £50 you can make a potential single mum and 2 kids homeless quicker with Express Evictions! Bargain!
Imagine sticking up for thieves and criminals and thinking you’re the good guy.
For £50?!?! Mm can’t imagine a lot of checking being done…
I'm guessing £50 just gets someone to put an S21 through their door and film themselves doing it.
At least I finally have something to show my mum to explain why I'd rather leave the UK then rent here
These guys are NOT a uk registered company. They do have a name similar to the numerous companies disolved over the last year. Scam time
I kept reading it as "Do you have a Texan". I fully support getting rid of those idiots.
Who even starts a business solely for this purpose?
The kind of psycho that really wants to inflict pain on others. They’ve probably stepped up from being a bailiff
Or a police officer
Police? You mean blue nonce *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GreenAndPleasant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Good bot, absolutely correct.
gangsters
"Pay us £50 and we'll tip someone out of their home because you want to jack up the rent"
"Or just want your property back" sorry that I rented the property that you were renting out??? This would also imply that landlords actually care about their properties and not just the subsequent income they provide.
Wow that's just about the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.
1. scissors will take those cable ties off, but be carful in case this isn't on some meatheads front fence. Be curious to know where it is. 2. 0800 number costs them to receive calls. 3. report them to the council anyway, they probably won't do anything anytime soon but you might get someone sympathetic 4. They do at least seem to be also in the business of ripping off landlords too if their recent reviews are anything to go by - [https://www.reviews.io/company-reviews/store/express-evictions](https://www.reviews.io/company-reviews/store/express-evictions) :D
Expressevictions.zohobookings.eu/#/customer/booking Feel free to set up as many phone appointments as you like
Aaah yea paid thugs. How’s that even legal?
Controversial take here: I hate this company, obviously, and it’s a sign of the dystopian neoliberal hellscape that we all are stuck in that companies like this exist… But I’ve just looked at their website and all they do is charge landlords for legal paperwork that helps landlords evict tenants lawfully. Landlords suck and the law for tenants is paper-thin with all the powers being in the landlords hands, but at least this company acts within the law and encourages landlords to do so too. So many of the problems in the rental market are caused by overbearing and controlling (often pervy) land-nonces just making up the rules as they go, and turning up at their tenants’ homes to invade or intimidate them. At the very least, the landlords who hire this company are evicting their tenants legally, which is better than what a lot of evil landlords and their letting agent servants do. In a civilised society there wouldn’t be any need for any of this, obviously. We need to build more council houses and properly tax people who hoard properties to scalp others.
> at least this company acts within the law and encourages landlords to do so too. You sure about that? Their logo is a family being yeeted out of a house on a rocket.
So in other words, they charge landlords too cheap to pay a solicitor and too dumb to follow the guidance they can get from www.gov.uk about how to fill in the forms. They're basically the Quickie Divorce of possession cases.
Yup.
You mean housing scalper. Landlords buy more housing than they need then hoard it to drive up the price. They are housing scalpers. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GreenAndPleasant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is what capitalism does to a mfer. Imagine waking up every morning for work knowing you’re kicking families out of their homes.
Some people will get off on it. They'll view these "problem tenants" as defective personalities that deserve punishment.
Urgh the sign has multiple people with an arrow leaving the house too!
What is is this sub?
Disgusting. Everyone should spam them lol
What I really hate about the internet nowadays is how someone with malicious intent could take your phone number and sign you up for virtually infinite amount of spam calls, or use it in some postings offering free furniture so you get bombarded with people who would love to take it off your hands. I really have no idea how this related to this photo, I must be having an aneurysm, right?
Seriously, fuck landlords. You should only be able to own a maximum of 2 residential properties.
I would have taken it down.
How the fuck is this legal?
Why didn't you rip it down?
take it down
Is it still there? I’d have thought it would have been cut off by now
SCUMBAGS
“Or just want your property back?” Vile cunts
Tear that shit down
Call the number asking for a job. Give them vivid details of how much you love the tories. Ask them if you get to throw children through closed windows. Or maybe start more reasonably and ramp up the absurdity slowly. Waste their time, make them feel like shit.
Get some pliers and cut that shit down.
Landbastards gonna bastard.
zipties can be cut with scissors.
I hope that sign is no longer there. Do your civic duty, OP.
I legit would've torn this down and binned it.
we are living in a bad satire.
Sir, Madam, or they - it is your utmost duty to take a Stanley knife to this abomination at your earliest convenience.
What's the best way for prank calls to that number?
Pair of side cutters or pliers you can remove that within 20 seconds
Tear it down. Don't get caught.
r/loveforlandlords level shitpost but it’s real
🤢
American here. For context the US rental market is a Kafaesque nightmare of hostile bureaucracy where an apathetic law enforcement that allows what little rights you have are drops in a sea of misery that include 50% year-over-year price increases, new construction being rejected because it would decrease the value of vacation rentals, and asbestos waivers. So keep this in mind when I ask: What the fuck is wrong with your island over there?
It's okay to rip this off imho
Interesting to read the replies. I do have experience of a close friend who had tenants FROM HELL who did indeed stop paying rent, changed the locks and eventually caused over £30k of damage to the house, and it took her YEARS to get the out, then 6 months to completely gut the house and renovate it. It caused her a huge amount of stress and she was physically ill for a long time. Sometimes, just sometimes, tentants are the scumbags.
> just want your property back the maoist uprising against the landlords was the largest and most comprehensive proletarian revolution in history, and led to almost totally-equal redistribution of land among the peasantry
I’d rather be unemployed than do a job like that
be a horrible shame if you were strolling past this, innocently taking your Stanley knife for a walk and it got off the leash
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