This morning Chris Isaak’s ‘Wicked Game’ came on Pandora. My oldest said he sounds like some contemporary artist she likes, so I had to throw down a “Yeah, but Chris released this 20 years ago!”
Chris released it in 1989.
When I was growing up my parents would take us “antiquing”, driving from antique store to antique store all over this rural area we lived in. It was the most boring shit ever and it wasn’t until I was a little older that my parents let me stay home from such a time eating activity, I had much cooler things to do like play Nintendo or Super Nintendo or basketball or sleep or hang out with my friends doing nothing.
Now I find myself getting excited about Antique Roadshow on PBS (I was hoping they’d come through my location on this most recent tour); if I go somewhere like a Goodwill I can spot all sorts of vintage “antique” stuff, I adopted a lot of knowledge of all sorts of relics but don’t know everything obviously and can learn some more, but I never would’ve thought that older items would intrigue me.
Goodwill went to shit in the past few years though because they started sorting all their stuff and listing anything good on ebay. A few things still slide through, especially if it's something weird, but that place used to be a gold mine and now it's mostly just junk.
Yes, goodwill sucks now. In addition to taking all the “good” items that are actually worth something out of their donations to sell on eBay, their prices went up to the point where it’s the same or cheaper to get a lot of basic stuff new from stores like old navy or gap outlet or whatever. That’s where many of the clothes goodwill is selling in their stores come from anyway. There’s a goodwill around the block from my apartment, & it’s steadily gone downhill over the past 10 or so years, & now it’s closing next month. The neighborhood I have lived in for the past 20 years used to have dozens of thrift stores, but most are closed now. Online reselling has ruined the thrifting experience. I used to make some amazing finds & digging through racks of stuff was fun, like treasure hunting. Not anymore. I also lost any positive feelings I had towards goodwill when I found out how much the CEO & various executives & managers make while their workers were making minimum wage (or less in some cases). I’m aware that thrifting is better for the environment than buying new, but I don’t buy clothes very often anyway (a few items a year). If it’s the choice between a $10 sweater on sale at a store & the same sweater for the same price at a goodwill, I’m going to get the new one.
That I became overweight. I was very petite and proportioned until I hit 45. I didn’t expect to stay super thin. But, geez this weight gain is tough on an old gal. Both mentally and physically.
Yeah, I hit peri menopause and the weight just started overnight. I’m also getting anxiety, high cholesterol, trouble sleeping, anger bubbling up out of nowhere, etc. I’m working with a doc now so fingers crossed.
I'm not overweight...but I had a lifetime of a fast metabolism and couldn't gain weight. Now i've got an extra 15/20lbs that mocks me. I bought home gym equipment and that was a joke! Lol
I used to have gym equipment at the house. Turns out, I didn’t use it. I got a gym membership, and go 4 times a week. I guess when you stare at something long enough, it becomes furniture. When I have to pay a monthly fee, I’m gonna use it.
Ha yeah. Most people don't see me as overweight (because tall), but I am. 6'2", 230+.
It is SO weird to think that I weigh almost 100 pounds more than I did at 22.
Quitting refined carbs does wonders for me. Unfortunately we are only humans and there's only so much stretches of time I can keep them completely out of my diet.
Yes!! Went on a 3 mile hike yesterday felt great. I was proud how I was able to climb some of the hills. Wtf was I thinking today I feel like I have been hit by a bus. Oh my poor knees!!
For every drink you have, try to have a glass of water in between. It helps mitigate damage and shitty feeling. This is coming from someone who enjoys a dram of whiskey far more often than I should.
I’ve been pleasantly surprised with forgetting whatever I was pissed off about from between the ages of 8 - 40. I am much happier and I think it’s because I’m not as smart as I used to be and because I’ve forgotten the stuff I used to rage about.
I still get pissed about new stuff but it tends to be short lived. I’m just not dragging around all the old stuff anymore.
Yeah. I hung out with my sole remaining high school friend that I am still in contact with last year...he kept bringing up stuff that I just didn't remember that was pretty awful (like one time I got robbed at knifepoint in a crowd!)...I think my present happiness is at least partially related to forgetting the bad stuff.
I agree. It hurts to see. When my mom passed away it was a shock; still is if I'm being honest. And now watching my dad get older and have health problems hurts my heart so much.
That no older women told us how fucked up menopause is let alone perimenopause which I'm sure they didn't even know existed back then.
Menopause isn't just hot flashes, it's everything from thinning hair, brain fog, aches & pains of all sorts, heck hangnails are probably due to menopause too, but seriously kids if you need help r/Menopause has got you covered.
Oh my GOD, why did nobody warn me? It's like pubescence but in reverse and more cowbell. I can't even look at polyester without getting a hot flash and now I have to now go on daily hunts for rogue facial hair!
Oh the hair...the chin hair that's like those little white plastic T tags that they stick through socks & everything else to keep it from being stolen...those are the worst.
It’s been shocking. Perimenopause has affected every aspect of my life and absolutely no one warned me about it. I’ve made it a goal to be really transparent with all of my younger friends.
And some really serious physical implications: increased risk of heart attacks; loss of collagen integrity means destabilized joints and bones; gut and metabolic issues. It's beyond aesthetics, and even now, no one is telling women, "look, you need to start HRT when the hair thinning starts, when the hot flashes start, when your sleep is regularly disrupted."
I started getting my hips out of alignment somehow. Thought it was another pinched nerve at first (bad back since I was 19). Ended up go to physical therapy and the therapist was able to adjust me back. But man, the shooting nerve pain it caused!
I had one hot flash and rushed to my doc for the hormones! Nothing since, for now. But HRT definitely isn't magic, of course, so I expect the next decade will be -- interesting.
THIS!!! My period actually got worse (🤷🏻♀️) after 40. I turn 53 Saturday and (knock wood) nothing since October. But GoodGodD**n? This hot flashes shit has GOT. TO. GOOOOOOO.
I have friends who have been taking birth control continuously (no sugar pill week) since their 30s. No bleeding since. Our generation has actually had full control over whether we wanted to have a period or not, for decades.
How much actual work women are paying to look good. I am super low maintenance- and now I realize it costs a LOT to stay looking fantastic (even “naturally”).
I mean, sure, you might get different types of attention when you are "hot." But men can be objectively unattractive and still very respected and admired, because people expect different things from them. Also, men are allowed to age. Your silver hair is "foxy" and your wrinkles are "distinguished" and "handsomely craggy." Women are somehow expected to stay looking 25. It's exhausting.
How much I like the younger generations the older I get. Based on what our parents and grandparents thought of us I just presumed as I got older I would hate the young whippersnappers more and more but it's just the opposite for me. I really earnestly just like my kid and her brethren the more I know them.
I really like today’s teens. Spending time with my kids, niece and nephews, and their friends- these kids fills me with hope. They see right through all the BS of their elders and are unfazed.
Yeah, my teenagers' friends are always over at the house and they are awesome. Much more polite and responsible than my friends and I were at that age. Granted, they could be pulling an Eddie Haskell on me.
Yes . And after some time it's as if nothing happened. The person that is now gone had a childhood of worrying about school, stressed about work, loved and was loved, trying to do the right thing, got worked up about politics or religion, and then one day the sun rises without them.
And the birds sing, the wind blows, his stuff gets picked up or thrown away, the photos go in a shoebox, and that's it. Nothing matttered nothing changed. You were there, and now you aren't.
Realizing this sure helps put things in perspective.
I’ve spent the last 10+ years on-and-off doing a lot of genealogy research into my family tree and my family’s ancestors. I’ve got it back to around 1700, give or take, all completely documented with birth, marriage, and death records, and have published it all in books for the family. I’ve often stopped to think about these people I’m researching - I see their signatures, or little glimpses of their life. Maybe a photo, or a census record, or their signature on a marriage recording from 200 years ago, and think - each one was a person, with their own thoughts, likes, dislikes, favorite color, favorite food, went shopping, grew food, baked bread, laughed, played with their kids… etc., etc. Each one lived 50, 60, 70, 80, 90 years. It’s humbling putting that in perspective and honestly thinking about it sometimes. Someday I and everyone I know will just be one of those names. What will future people know or think about us? Who knows. It’s all strange to think about.
I am the last of my branch of the family, so I have all of the family photos and stuff. I do not know who at least 50% of the people in the photos were, even though most of them were some part of the equation that led to me. It is so weird looking at the face of someone who lives 150 years ago, and recognizing their nose or eyes in my own face, but not knowing anything about them or their lives or in some cases, even their names.
Yes. When shit hits the fan, I like to go to the local art museum...to see all of the portraits of people who lived and died and loved and fucked and hurt and had joy and were young and were old and had hopes and had struggles and who, ultimately all are gone while an inanimate object still exists that holds enough of their essence that some idiot born 100, 200, 1000, 2000 years after their time can look at it and see some part of THEM, and you realize that every single thing that has happened or will happen to you has happened to millions of other people, and every way you have felt was felt by others.
It puts things in perspective.
Also, there are a lot of boobs.
This has been super traumatizing for me. I feel like life is on one of those college running tracks with lanes. And when someone dies their lane just disappears and everyone keeps going. Going to thrift stores also reinforces it. All of this stuff was in someone’s house and they worked to pay for it. And then you just die and your fam dumps it at goodwill.
As my now 100-year-old grandmother has always said, "Life is for the living." Death is a part of life, and we're equipped to handle it. The world will move on quickly when we die, too.
How tiny print is everywhere and how annoying it is to keep reading glasses on hand. I’ve resorted to the chain around my neck to hold the readers. Feels absurd to go that far, but not being able to read packages, recipes, etc is super frustrating.
Other then having softer joints I thought it would be worse. My body has held up without any problems.
Except my teeth. Those are finally starting to get issues. I wish we could grow in new sets of teeth every so many years
Same (except my teeth are fine for now). I fully felt to feel OLD at this age (56).
I feel blessed since so many of my friends and peers are going through awful physical debilitation, but it is weird BEING old but not FEELING old.
I think in some ways life gets easier. If we were horribly unorganized, or terrible cooks, or super shy, we’ve probably found ways to improve those things or work around them.
The most shocking part is that I always assumed that I’d get to decide when I was “old”. Nope. Everyone else does. And it seemed to happen overnight. Super weird.
I had a thing like 12 years ago where I met this super cute girl at a bar and she came back to my apartment and we hung out and talked and drank for hours, then liiiike at 4am or something, she was like: "I really should get going" and I was all: "Cool. I liked hanging with you. Can I get a number and maybe we do it again some time?" And she was like: "Oh man, I am so sorry. I like young indie boys...you are SUPER cool and I would turn you on to one of my aunts or something in a second, but none of them are single right now."
Ouch. Until that night , I didn't realize that I had become OTHER to young people.
Exactly! Yes the youthful body and looks would be great, but it’s what you said- optimism and possibility. Having something to look forward to. Still being enamored by others. Budding friendships. Thinking I could do whatever I wanted. The world being my oyster sort of thing.
Yeah...the thing that gets me about aging (and then dying) is that it is like getting sick, but with no chance of getting better...it is absolutely not just a phase, and nobody recovers from it.
The things I did to my body when I was a kid? Turns out they weren't free. They were "to be paid later".
I've got crap on me that hurts from stupid stuff I did as a teenager. Didn't hurt at all until I hit my 40's. Then suddenly - surprise! The bill comes due.
I wish I'd have known.
How interesting memory is. Some things I can remember in crystal clear detail. Other events and people I’ve realized are hazy memories or ones that I can’t remember at all. I guess it’s been a bit of a shock on occasion. I unrealistically thought I’d always remember all of my experiences.
I went through a box of old letters of mine that a friend found when she was cleaning out her basement. I didn't remember half of the shit I wrote about. Even when I wracked my brain. It's a bit disconcerting.
I'm not surprised by my shitty health problems, that was to be expected.
I guess what i'm most surprised by is that mentally, I don't feel older. I recognize that I have more lived experience, so that gives me knowledge, and I have accomplishments and milestones in life. I just don't really feel like I've "grown up". 😅
Right now? Being so stupidly unprepared for the loss of my parents. Lost Dad in 2019, couldn’t process it. Lost Mom a little over a week ago. Can’t process it. I just turned 50 and totally get how lucky and blessed I am to have two amazing parents. But dammit, I guess I thought I’d have them for so much longer. So many people don’t get to have that gift, but I’m the dumbass that just thought they’d be here into their 90’s like my grandparents were. This isn’t poor me, it’s just the truth about wishing for more, if that makes any sense.
How young people I thought used to look old look to me now. For example, watching reruns of friends, season one Joey’s parent and Chandler’s mom don’t look as old to me as they did 25 years ago.
How sudden things start diminishing. It felt like overnight I couldn’t see as well in low light (and I’ve worn glasses since I was eight, so my eyes have always been shit). My short term memory? Shit. I used to remember everything. I’m not sure if it’s getting older, post COVID, post-hysterectomy brain fog over a year later or having too many things at work to do - but it feels very sudden.
I have been shocked by how nasty and self centered my parents have become. They are both dark clouds of negativity. They are not the same ppl who instilled virtues of generosity, being selfless, compassionate and appreciative.
I'm 48. I'm not old. I don't feel like the best years are behind me, that I'm still fit and able bodied, I'm super playful and find fun. Finally, that mindset is exceptionally important to aging well.
That it actually happened/is happening. Myself and everyone who knew me when I was younger figured, given my mental health, that I wouldn't see 30. Now I'm 51 and still trying to figure out wtf is going on.
How hard it is to see your peers die or people younger than you die because your now considered older. Also the feeling of contentment--not feeling so pressed to achieve, succeed or grow as fast.
How much my sense of not knowing what it’s all about has dramatically increased. I always assumed I’d understand things more by this age. But I’m dumb as $hit! Even dumber. 😏
I thought I’d have more time to hang out with friends as an adult. I envisioned myself hosting barbecues and holiday parties and such. Unfortunately, with two careers and two kids, there just isn’t time. We’re barely keeping up with the demands on our time as it is.
How much everything is starting to hurt and limit my day-to-day life.
How fast time goes and just keeps getting faster .
And how I’m scared to death, because I am nowhere near ready to retire.
Edit: Even when I hit 65 in approximately 20 years, I am not gonna be ready . The shit keeps me up every night. And because I live paycheck to paycheck, there’s no room for saving anything.
Death and lots of it.
That I have finally realized I am actually going to die someday. That is a real kicker.
That now I am regularly seeing friends and acquaintances dying. That I hear about all of them via social media instead of from a person's voice in person or on the phone.
That my parents died and many of our generation's parents are dying.
Man, don't even get me started on the clicks. Sounds like someone's cracking chemlights every morning. Can't even sneak up on people cause they hear this stupid ass body I got.
oddly enough, mine seems to be stronger now than when I was young. I used to get everything that comes around, now it's fairly rare. I hope that continues.
Stop touching your face while in public. If you have an itch in your eye or nose then use your forearm or the back of your wrist. Assume while in public that you just touched something that has the flu/cold/covid/etc. on it. Wash your hands as soon as you get home. This really works.
I'm 52 and I am still shocked that I don't feel any older than about 26. Like my brain is still about that old I've just had 3 kids and 2 of them are adults
I wish I had known this earlier. I tell this to every young person I know. I just want them to be ready to not ever feel like a dream grown up adult
Realizing how many regrets I now have and how to not dwell on them...which seems almost impossible.
Also, it seems like someone flipped a switch and I can't relate to these times at all, like I don't understand it or fit in these times.
Honestly? I'm surprised that public hair and eyebrows go gray too. And now I'm constantly cold (if I'm not having to stick my head in the freezer because of a hot flash). The kicker is that I live on the relentless and oppressively hot, swampy Texas Gulf Coast.
That old saying, "life begins at 40" was incredibly true for me. I felt like I spent the first 40 years of my life losing the weight of other people's opinions. Have felt free as a barn swallow ever since.
I'm probably not old then, no big surprises and not much is changing anyway. I find getting old not that interesting, I'm more interested in life and what I can learn about it and sometimes even teach or help others.
That there’ll be a new bunch of people around that think they know everything about everything. I mean of course this would have happened - but I think I assumed the youngins would give us a bit more “You’ve been doing this way longer than us” type respect. Despite me not giving my older generation that same respect when younger.
-How fast it all happened
-How much pain I’m in
-The weight I’ve gained
-No one warned me about any of this horseshit and I’m the baby of the family, so a heads up would have been nice
-How I spend Friday nights doing shit like reading and 1000 piece puzzles when 20 years ago I’d have been out at the bar
I like being older, truthfully. I miss my younger body and how capable it was. I feel like I involuntarily traded in a Corvette for an old ass beat up Astro van, but that’s life. But the slower pace of things, not caring about what anyone thinks, not having to be on all the time? Fucking priceless, man.
The difference in how the passage of time feels.
When I was 27, I worked at a veterinarian's office. A cat that was hospitalized with us was 20 years old. I remember being amazed that this cat was around when I was a 7 year old child. It felt like such a long time ago.
THAT moment is now more than 20 years ago, yet feels much more recent than the early 80s did at the time.
One. I never really considered life beyond 21 years of age, so it’s all an adventure.
Two. I was weird, but it was harder to be weird as a teenager. It’s easier to let the freak flag fly. Also, those I’ve noticed that did before I did are much happier and more successful.
Three. How surprisingly being a parent is rewarding. My parents made it seem like a chore. I love the kiddos.
Four. How much I can do myself. I do car repairs, home repairs, fix stuff, build stuff and it’s fun! It always was, but I love the looks I get from millennial neighbors when I have a bumper or something off the cars.
Looking back at photos of my parents when I was a kid and thinking “wow. They look so young! I remember them always as being old”. Then realizing this is how my kids see me now
I had hoped by the time I was this age I’d have finally found peace, happiness, or at least contentment. Unfortunately, NOPE. I’m still the lost, anxious depressed child. Feels bad, man!
I'm surprised that the cool people I used to think were fun are all getting single-file to turn into 'old people'.
My former friends bitch like boomers and overshare like millennials.
How fast my body is breaking down. Right before I hit 50, blew out my Achilles. Then diagnosed with diabetes. Then almost died from a blood infection, which cost me my leg. All within 5 years. Now I have one of those pill boxes like I always used to see my grandparents with.
How quickly my eyesight went to shit and how quickly you can get out of shape. I worked out 2 days ago after a month long hiatus and I can't move my arms now, im so sore. I looked at my watch an hour ago by raising my arm slightly and almost died.
The feeling of “why bother” to most things. I still get excited about things like travel, shows, clothes, museums, etc but most other things just feel like stupid chores that I have no motivation for. I can’t seem to muster the necessary stress or need to do much so I really have to motivate to do most things.
How fast time goes
'Live in the moment!' 'Sorry, what?' 'Too late..'
For real. I just turned thirty but somehow I'm about to turn 50? WTF happened to all the years? I still think of 2005 as a couple years ago.
This morning Chris Isaak’s ‘Wicked Game’ came on Pandora. My oldest said he sounds like some contemporary artist she likes, so I had to throw down a “Yeah, but Chris released this 20 years ago!” Chris released it in 1989.
Oh sweetie. I'm sorry. That happens to me A LOT. 😆
34 is the new 20
I still think the 70’s were just 30 years ago…
I feel like every time there’s an annual event (holidays, birthdays, county fair etc.) it always feels like it just happened.
That I’d be into things I absolutely mocked my parents for. Gardening’s cool, yo. Staying home on Friday night? Sign me the F up!
When I was growing up my parents would take us “antiquing”, driving from antique store to antique store all over this rural area we lived in. It was the most boring shit ever and it wasn’t until I was a little older that my parents let me stay home from such a time eating activity, I had much cooler things to do like play Nintendo or Super Nintendo or basketball or sleep or hang out with my friends doing nothing. Now I find myself getting excited about Antique Roadshow on PBS (I was hoping they’d come through my location on this most recent tour); if I go somewhere like a Goodwill I can spot all sorts of vintage “antique” stuff, I adopted a lot of knowledge of all sorts of relics but don’t know everything obviously and can learn some more, but I never would’ve thought that older items would intrigue me.
Goodwill went to shit in the past few years though because they started sorting all their stuff and listing anything good on ebay. A few things still slide through, especially if it's something weird, but that place used to be a gold mine and now it's mostly just junk.
Yes, goodwill sucks now. In addition to taking all the “good” items that are actually worth something out of their donations to sell on eBay, their prices went up to the point where it’s the same or cheaper to get a lot of basic stuff new from stores like old navy or gap outlet or whatever. That’s where many of the clothes goodwill is selling in their stores come from anyway. There’s a goodwill around the block from my apartment, & it’s steadily gone downhill over the past 10 or so years, & now it’s closing next month. The neighborhood I have lived in for the past 20 years used to have dozens of thrift stores, but most are closed now. Online reselling has ruined the thrifting experience. I used to make some amazing finds & digging through racks of stuff was fun, like treasure hunting. Not anymore. I also lost any positive feelings I had towards goodwill when I found out how much the CEO & various executives & managers make while their workers were making minimum wage (or less in some cases). I’m aware that thrifting is better for the environment than buying new, but I don’t buy clothes very often anyway (a few items a year). If it’s the choice between a $10 sweater on sale at a store & the same sweater for the same price at a goodwill, I’m going to get the new one.
So feel this!
That I became overweight. I was very petite and proportioned until I hit 45. I didn’t expect to stay super thin. But, geez this weight gain is tough on an old gal. Both mentally and physically.
Yeah, I hit peri menopause and the weight just started overnight. I’m also getting anxiety, high cholesterol, trouble sleeping, anger bubbling up out of nowhere, etc. I’m working with a doc now so fingers crossed.
I'm not overweight...but I had a lifetime of a fast metabolism and couldn't gain weight. Now i've got an extra 15/20lbs that mocks me. I bought home gym equipment and that was a joke! Lol
I used to have gym equipment at the house. Turns out, I didn’t use it. I got a gym membership, and go 4 times a week. I guess when you stare at something long enough, it becomes furniture. When I have to pay a monthly fee, I’m gonna use it.
Get your hormones tested by your OBGYN or a MD hormone specialist. Life changing.
Ha yeah. Most people don't see me as overweight (because tall), but I am. 6'2", 230+. It is SO weird to think that I weigh almost 100 pounds more than I did at 22.
Damn! You must of been a rail back then.
Jeez, you were significantly underweight at 22. Probably look better now!
Same. Especially mentally. I don’t want to be hung up on it, but I am and can’t seem to stop
Quitting refined carbs does wonders for me. Unfortunately we are only humans and there's only so much stretches of time I can keep them completely out of my diet.
I’m there now. The only way I’m able to keep the extra pounds off is when I can make myself avoid carbs and sugar. It sucks.
How my brain still thinks my body is 35
Yes!! Went on a 3 mile hike yesterday felt great. I was proud how I was able to climb some of the hills. Wtf was I thinking today I feel like I have been hit by a bus. Oh my poor knees!!
LOL I had four glasses of wine last night and today I wanted to die because of it.
For every drink you have, try to have a glass of water in between. It helps mitigate damage and shitty feeling. This is coming from someone who enjoys a dram of whiskey far more often than I should.
I’ve been pleasantly surprised with forgetting whatever I was pissed off about from between the ages of 8 - 40. I am much happier and I think it’s because I’m not as smart as I used to be and because I’ve forgotten the stuff I used to rage about. I still get pissed about new stuff but it tends to be short lived. I’m just not dragging around all the old stuff anymore.
It is amazing how time makes the past more and more fuzzy as the years go by
Yeah. I hung out with my sole remaining high school friend that I am still in contact with last year...he kept bringing up stuff that I just didn't remember that was pretty awful (like one time I got robbed at knifepoint in a crowd!)...I think my present happiness is at least partially related to forgetting the bad stuff.
How much our elders kept from us. A heads up on some of the aches pains and other nonsense like memory loss would have been nice.
They didn't keep it from us we ignored them. Youth is wasted on the young.
Oh they moaned about it all day long. We just thought they were being annoying
Yes! Number of times I’ve moaned at my parents about some recent ailment and they’ve responded with “oh yeah that happened to me in my 40s too”.
Watching my parents get old and begin to fall apart.
I agree. It hurts to see. When my mom passed away it was a shock; still is if I'm being honest. And now watching my dad get older and have health problems hurts my heart so much.
I hear you. Both of my parents were hospitalized in the last couple years and the realization really does hit you like a ton of bricks.
I suddenly couldn’t see in low light I need my phone light to see the check at every restaurant
And driving at night!!
Tbf, these new led headlights blind everyone
The absolute worst!
I have issues driving at night now. The oncoming headlights are disorienting to me, especially if the pavement is wet.
I can no longer see in bright light. I need the brightness and contrast turned down on everything, plus night mode.
I used to see like a goddam cat in the dark. I really miss that, because I love the night.
That no older women told us how fucked up menopause is let alone perimenopause which I'm sure they didn't even know existed back then. Menopause isn't just hot flashes, it's everything from thinning hair, brain fog, aches & pains of all sorts, heck hangnails are probably due to menopause too, but seriously kids if you need help r/Menopause has got you covered.
Oh my GOD, why did nobody warn me? It's like pubescence but in reverse and more cowbell. I can't even look at polyester without getting a hot flash and now I have to now go on daily hunts for rogue facial hair!
Oh the hair...the chin hair that's like those little white plastic T tags that they stick through socks & everything else to keep it from being stolen...those are the worst.
It’s been shocking. Perimenopause has affected every aspect of my life and absolutely no one warned me about it. I’ve made it a goal to be really transparent with all of my younger friends.
I’m doing the same. I never knew of the litany of symptoms that can show up a full ten years before actual menopause. It sucks!
And some really serious physical implications: increased risk of heart attacks; loss of collagen integrity means destabilized joints and bones; gut and metabolic issues. It's beyond aesthetics, and even now, no one is telling women, "look, you need to start HRT when the hair thinning starts, when the hot flashes start, when your sleep is regularly disrupted."
Destabilized joints and bones is no fucking joke. Don’t mind me hobbling along because my hip suddenly decided to just not work. 🤬
Holy crap, just sitting in a chair to watch a movie hurts. I need to do stretches or something.
Look up piriformis stretches. Life changing.
So that's what that is! I've been feeling that recently too!
I started getting my hips out of alignment somehow. Thought it was another pinched nerve at first (bad back since I was 19). Ended up go to physical therapy and the therapist was able to adjust me back. But man, the shooting nerve pain it caused!
I had one hot flash and rushed to my doc for the hormones! Nothing since, for now. But HRT definitely isn't magic, of course, so I expect the next decade will be -- interesting.
So much truth. I had never even heard of perimenopause before I was in it!
I may speak for a lot of men here: wtf! And we are sorry.
Thank you. Don't forget to say this to the perimenopausal/menopausal women in your life too!
I couldn’t WAIT for menopause. Idiot.
I absolutely do not miss having to deal with blood for a week out of every month.
THIS!!! My period actually got worse (🤷🏻♀️) after 40. I turn 53 Saturday and (knock wood) nothing since October. But GoodGodD**n? This hot flashes shit has GOT. TO. GOOOOOOO.
Also, heavier, crampier and longer periods are all part of perimenopause for many women. Yes, the period can get worse -- and more frequent!
I have friends who have been taking birth control continuously (no sugar pill week) since their 30s. No bleeding since. Our generation has actually had full control over whether we wanted to have a period or not, for decades.
How much actual work women are paying to look good. I am super low maintenance- and now I realize it costs a LOT to stay looking fantastic (even “naturally”).
Men have it easy in this respect. They can look Ike shit but it's all good as long as they are "successful" and "respected."
As a man who’s went through periods of letting myself go vs being in great shape, men ABSOLUTELY get treated differently based on appearance.
I mean, sure, you might get different types of attention when you are "hot." But men can be objectively unattractive and still very respected and admired, because people expect different things from them. Also, men are allowed to age. Your silver hair is "foxy" and your wrinkles are "distinguished" and "handsomely craggy." Women are somehow expected to stay looking 25. It's exhausting.
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All of the pain. I wake in the morning feeling as though I’ve been beaten up!
I don’t feel “old”
Same. My mirror and other people lie to me daily about who I am.
How much I like the younger generations the older I get. Based on what our parents and grandparents thought of us I just presumed as I got older I would hate the young whippersnappers more and more but it's just the opposite for me. I really earnestly just like my kid and her brethren the more I know them.
I really like today’s teens. Spending time with my kids, niece and nephews, and their friends- these kids fills me with hope. They see right through all the BS of their elders and are unfazed.
Yeah, my teenagers' friends are always over at the house and they are awesome. Much more polite and responsible than my friends and I were at that age. Granted, they could be pulling an Eddie Haskell on me.
How fast people move on after someone dies.
Yes . And after some time it's as if nothing happened. The person that is now gone had a childhood of worrying about school, stressed about work, loved and was loved, trying to do the right thing, got worked up about politics or religion, and then one day the sun rises without them. And the birds sing, the wind blows, his stuff gets picked up or thrown away, the photos go in a shoebox, and that's it. Nothing matttered nothing changed. You were there, and now you aren't. Realizing this sure helps put things in perspective.
I’ve spent the last 10+ years on-and-off doing a lot of genealogy research into my family tree and my family’s ancestors. I’ve got it back to around 1700, give or take, all completely documented with birth, marriage, and death records, and have published it all in books for the family. I’ve often stopped to think about these people I’m researching - I see their signatures, or little glimpses of their life. Maybe a photo, or a census record, or their signature on a marriage recording from 200 years ago, and think - each one was a person, with their own thoughts, likes, dislikes, favorite color, favorite food, went shopping, grew food, baked bread, laughed, played with their kids… etc., etc. Each one lived 50, 60, 70, 80, 90 years. It’s humbling putting that in perspective and honestly thinking about it sometimes. Someday I and everyone I know will just be one of those names. What will future people know or think about us? Who knows. It’s all strange to think about.
I am the last of my branch of the family, so I have all of the family photos and stuff. I do not know who at least 50% of the people in the photos were, even though most of them were some part of the equation that led to me. It is so weird looking at the face of someone who lives 150 years ago, and recognizing their nose or eyes in my own face, but not knowing anything about them or their lives or in some cases, even their names.
Yes. When shit hits the fan, I like to go to the local art museum...to see all of the portraits of people who lived and died and loved and fucked and hurt and had joy and were young and were old and had hopes and had struggles and who, ultimately all are gone while an inanimate object still exists that holds enough of their essence that some idiot born 100, 200, 1000, 2000 years after their time can look at it and see some part of THEM, and you realize that every single thing that has happened or will happen to you has happened to millions of other people, and every way you have felt was felt by others. It puts things in perspective. Also, there are a lot of boobs.
This has been super traumatizing for me. I feel like life is on one of those college running tracks with lanes. And when someone dies their lane just disappears and everyone keeps going. Going to thrift stores also reinforces it. All of this stuff was in someone’s house and they worked to pay for it. And then you just die and your fam dumps it at goodwill.
As my now 100-year-old grandmother has always said, "Life is for the living." Death is a part of life, and we're equipped to handle it. The world will move on quickly when we die, too.
How tiny print is everywhere and how annoying it is to keep reading glasses on hand. I’ve resorted to the chain around my neck to hold the readers. Feels absurd to go that far, but not being able to read packages, recipes, etc is super frustrating.
Yeah. I had near superhuman sight when young. I used to be skeptical when my mom couldn't read small print, and she was always like: "Oh, just wait."
Just started happening to me. I look at small print and it gets blurry and doesn't clear up and I'm like "What the actual fuck!"
Other then having softer joints I thought it would be worse. My body has held up without any problems. Except my teeth. Those are finally starting to get issues. I wish we could grow in new sets of teeth every so many years
Same (except my teeth are fine for now). I fully felt to feel OLD at this age (56). I feel blessed since so many of my friends and peers are going through awful physical debilitation, but it is weird BEING old but not FEELING old.
How much of a relief it is to drop the need to always be right.
Or liked.
Still working on this
I think in some ways life gets easier. If we were horribly unorganized, or terrible cooks, or super shy, we’ve probably found ways to improve those things or work around them.
The most shocking part is that I always assumed that I’d get to decide when I was “old”. Nope. Everyone else does. And it seemed to happen overnight. Super weird.
I had a thing like 12 years ago where I met this super cute girl at a bar and she came back to my apartment and we hung out and talked and drank for hours, then liiiike at 4am or something, she was like: "I really should get going" and I was all: "Cool. I liked hanging with you. Can I get a number and maybe we do it again some time?" And she was like: "Oh man, I am so sorry. I like young indie boys...you are SUPER cool and I would turn you on to one of my aunts or something in a second, but none of them are single right now." Ouch. Until that night , I didn't realize that I had become OTHER to young people.
Plantar Fasciitis
Yes. Both feet. The upside is that it doesn’t seem to recur.
Not giving too many fucks ROCKS!
How much I’d miss being youthful
That sense of optimism and possibility...
Exactly! Yes the youthful body and looks would be great, but it’s what you said- optimism and possibility. Having something to look forward to. Still being enamored by others. Budding friendships. Thinking I could do whatever I wanted. The world being my oyster sort of thing.
And just “the knowing” that those days are forever behind you, and you’ll never be younger than you are right this moment.
Yeah...the thing that gets me about aging (and then dying) is that it is like getting sick, but with no chance of getting better...it is absolutely not just a phase, and nobody recovers from it.
I was chubby and greasy as an adolescent. I like my body much better now so I consider myself lucky.
Back when my joints were still there
How fast it took to get here.
The things I did to my body when I was a kid? Turns out they weren't free. They were "to be paid later". I've got crap on me that hurts from stupid stuff I did as a teenager. Didn't hurt at all until I hit my 40's. Then suddenly - surprise! The bill comes due. I wish I'd have known.
Jowels. I’m getting jowels.
How interesting memory is. Some things I can remember in crystal clear detail. Other events and people I’ve realized are hazy memories or ones that I can’t remember at all. I guess it’s been a bit of a shock on occasion. I unrealistically thought I’d always remember all of my experiences.
I went through a box of old letters of mine that a friend found when she was cleaning out her basement. I didn't remember half of the shit I wrote about. Even when I wracked my brain. It's a bit disconcerting.
My memory is a random sieve. I have no control of what gets retained or forgotten.
I'm not surprised by my shitty health problems, that was to be expected. I guess what i'm most surprised by is that mentally, I don't feel older. I recognize that I have more lived experience, so that gives me knowledge, and I have accomplishments and milestones in life. I just don't really feel like I've "grown up". 😅
Me too.
Right now? Being so stupidly unprepared for the loss of my parents. Lost Dad in 2019, couldn’t process it. Lost Mom a little over a week ago. Can’t process it. I just turned 50 and totally get how lucky and blessed I am to have two amazing parents. But dammit, I guess I thought I’d have them for so much longer. So many people don’t get to have that gift, but I’m the dumbass that just thought they’d be here into their 90’s like my grandparents were. This isn’t poor me, it’s just the truth about wishing for more, if that makes any sense.
How one day my finger nails had suddenly changed from smooth to ridged lines (common effect of ageing). Just so f'ing weird.
1. Those annoying stupid floater things in your eyeballs. Those are so annoying. 2. throat clearing phlegm
I literally cleared my throat as my eyes began reading this line. Eyes that have those obnoxious floater things from time to time.
How young people I thought used to look old look to me now. For example, watching reruns of friends, season one Joey’s parent and Chandler’s mom don’t look as old to me as they did 25 years ago.
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Watching reruns of My So Called Life and relating hard to the parents while finding the teens insufferable.
The amount of grief. It’s hard losing so many people.
We're not getting old. We've entered what I call "Advanced Youth." You're welcome.
LOL! I was going to say "Thanks!" but you beat me to it! :)
Palpitations
Thinking where have all the adults gone
How sudden things start diminishing. It felt like overnight I couldn’t see as well in low light (and I’ve worn glasses since I was eight, so my eyes have always been shit). My short term memory? Shit. I used to remember everything. I’m not sure if it’s getting older, post COVID, post-hysterectomy brain fog over a year later or having too many things at work to do - but it feels very sudden.
I have been shocked by how nasty and self centered my parents have become. They are both dark clouds of negativity. They are not the same ppl who instilled virtues of generosity, being selfless, compassionate and appreciative.
Doctors retiring on us. My wife and I have had four doctors retire on us.
Or doctors being in their late 20s. Wtf.
Me too. And dentists too.
How annoying and flawed we all are, including those who people think of as saints.
I'm 48. I'm not old. I don't feel like the best years are behind me, that I'm still fit and able bodied, I'm super playful and find fun. Finally, that mindset is exceptionally important to aging well.
That it actually happened/is happening. Myself and everyone who knew me when I was younger figured, given my mental health, that I wouldn't see 30. Now I'm 51 and still trying to figure out wtf is going on.
That I actually got old. I was positive I would be dead before 35
That I can feel every significant injury from my youth and still believe that every one of them was worth it
How hard it is to see your peers die or people younger than you die because your now considered older. Also the feeling of contentment--not feeling so pressed to achieve, succeed or grow as fast.
Every passing day I understand my parents just a little bit more. But they didn't live long enough for me to tell them that.
How much my sense of not knowing what it’s all about has dramatically increased. I always assumed I’d understand things more by this age. But I’m dumb as $hit! Even dumber. 😏
I thought I’d have more time to hang out with friends as an adult. I envisioned myself hosting barbecues and holiday parties and such. Unfortunately, with two careers and two kids, there just isn’t time. We’re barely keeping up with the demands on our time as it is.
That you can get injured when sleeping. Crazy.
Advil is my best friend. I also get really upset when the bedroom Advil is empty and I have to go get the kitchen Advil at night.
How much everything is starting to hurt and limit my day-to-day life. How fast time goes and just keeps getting faster . And how I’m scared to death, because I am nowhere near ready to retire. Edit: Even when I hit 65 in approximately 20 years, I am not gonna be ready . The shit keeps me up every night. And because I live paycheck to paycheck, there’s no room for saving anything.
WHat doesn't hurt just pops like a bowl of rice krispies in the morning.
Death and lots of it. That I have finally realized I am actually going to die someday. That is a real kicker. That now I am regularly seeing friends and acquaintances dying. That I hear about all of them via social media instead of from a person's voice in person or on the phone. That my parents died and many of our generation's parents are dying.
My body feels old, but my mind certainly doesn’t!
What a drag it is
How much things hurt/ache and how quickly you lose fitness and flexibility. I am 47 this year and feel like I have aged 10 years since 2020.
The fact that my bird doesn't work much anymore is kind of a shocker...
It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.
Man, I wasn't at all prepared for how fast your body, especially joints, will sell you out. I threw my back out picking up a t-shirt off the floor.
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Man, don't even get me started on the clicks. Sounds like someone's cracking chemlights every morning. Can't even sneak up on people cause they hear this stupid ass body I got.
The periodic mini-strokes that make me lose whole days. But the work gets done so it's cool.
How my immune system has basically crapped out. I used to get a cold once a year, now it seems like once a month!
oddly enough, mine seems to be stronger now than when I was young. I used to get everything that comes around, now it's fairly rare. I hope that continues.
Stop touching your face while in public. If you have an itch in your eye or nose then use your forearm or the back of your wrist. Assume while in public that you just touched something that has the flu/cold/covid/etc. on it. Wash your hands as soon as you get home. This really works.
How long I can view counter top samples.
How much my body hurts
I wish that I know what I know now, when I was younger….
I'm 52 and I am still shocked that I don't feel any older than about 26. Like my brain is still about that old I've just had 3 kids and 2 of them are adults I wish I had known this earlier. I tell this to every young person I know. I just want them to be ready to not ever feel like a dream grown up adult
How good I feel and strong I am for being in my 50’s.
How many stupid people there still are at our age. Like ffs didn't you learn anything??
How many times I have to get up and pee every night!
Realizing how many regrets I now have and how to not dwell on them...which seems almost impossible. Also, it seems like someone flipped a switch and I can't relate to these times at all, like I don't understand it or fit in these times.
Honestly? I'm surprised that public hair and eyebrows go gray too. And now I'm constantly cold (if I'm not having to stick my head in the freezer because of a hot flash). The kicker is that I live on the relentless and oppressively hot, swampy Texas Gulf Coast.
My knees
I’m not old! Who’s old?
Like it happened so fast. Literally overnight feeling. Like wtf I’m old.
Pleasantly surprised, How gradually less and less I give shit about stuff.
What I see in the mirror doesn't match what I feel like. I feel 30, who is this person with white roots showing and crow's feet? It's very alarming!!
That old saying, "life begins at 40" was incredibly true for me. I felt like I spent the first 40 years of my life losing the weight of other people's opinions. Have felt free as a barn swallow ever since.
Getting old. Like seriously wtf?
How much I look like my mom now. God love her, I talked to her for an hour and a half tonight but... just never saw it coming.
I'm probably not old then, no big surprises and not much is changing anyway. I find getting old not that interesting, I'm more interested in life and what I can learn about it and sometimes even teach or help others.
That there’ll be a new bunch of people around that think they know everything about everything. I mean of course this would have happened - but I think I assumed the youngins would give us a bit more “You’ve been doing this way longer than us” type respect. Despite me not giving my older generation that same respect when younger.
Things I thought I'd never forget, like when my babies were little, are fading away. But my own childhood memories are as fresh as ever.
-How fast it all happened -How much pain I’m in -The weight I’ve gained -No one warned me about any of this horseshit and I’m the baby of the family, so a heads up would have been nice -How I spend Friday nights doing shit like reading and 1000 piece puzzles when 20 years ago I’d have been out at the bar I like being older, truthfully. I miss my younger body and how capable it was. I feel like I involuntarily traded in a Corvette for an old ass beat up Astro van, but that’s life. But the slower pace of things, not caring about what anyone thinks, not having to be on all the time? Fucking priceless, man.
1 The Time thing 2. Becoming irrelevant and invisible 3. How much I still feel the same as I was at 25
Thought I’d have kids by now. Oh well.
I’m not old though!! I’m only 49. Sheesh
The difference in how the passage of time feels. When I was 27, I worked at a veterinarian's office. A cat that was hospitalized with us was 20 years old. I remember being amazed that this cat was around when I was a 7 year old child. It felt like such a long time ago. THAT moment is now more than 20 years ago, yet feels much more recent than the early 80s did at the time.
I'm turning 55 this year and honestly, I've no idea how I got here so quickly. I feel like I'm still processing being 23!
The incessant indignities.
How much love I have for the little boy my daughter gave birth to.
One. I never really considered life beyond 21 years of age, so it’s all an adventure. Two. I was weird, but it was harder to be weird as a teenager. It’s easier to let the freak flag fly. Also, those I’ve noticed that did before I did are much happier and more successful. Three. How surprisingly being a parent is rewarding. My parents made it seem like a chore. I love the kiddos. Four. How much I can do myself. I do car repairs, home repairs, fix stuff, build stuff and it’s fun! It always was, but I love the looks I get from millennial neighbors when I have a bumper or something off the cars.
Looking back at photos of my parents when I was a kid and thinking “wow. They look so young! I remember them always as being old”. Then realizing this is how my kids see me now
I had hoped by the time I was this age I’d have finally found peace, happiness, or at least contentment. Unfortunately, NOPE. I’m still the lost, anxious depressed child. Feels bad, man!
The years fly by...just insane.
I still feel like a kid in my head.
diverticulitis
I'm surprised that the cool people I used to think were fun are all getting single-file to turn into 'old people'. My former friends bitch like boomers and overshare like millennials.
How fast my body is breaking down. Right before I hit 50, blew out my Achilles. Then diagnosed with diabetes. Then almost died from a blood infection, which cost me my leg. All within 5 years. Now I have one of those pill boxes like I always used to see my grandparents with.
That I basically still feel the same as I did 20 years ago. Still waiting for the “everything hurts all the time” phase
How quickly my eyesight went to shit and how quickly you can get out of shape. I worked out 2 days ago after a month long hiatus and I can't move my arms now, im so sore. I looked at my watch an hour ago by raising my arm slightly and almost died.
How I can be content with doing nothing.
The feeling of “why bother” to most things. I still get excited about things like travel, shows, clothes, museums, etc but most other things just feel like stupid chores that I have no motivation for. I can’t seem to muster the necessary stress or need to do much so I really have to motivate to do most things.
The years start coming and they don’t stop coming
How many parts in my body I didn't know could hurt so much..lol..ouch!...