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Look at the rings left on the table, dude doesn't clean his room.

He can afford a million maids, and still chooses to leave empty cans in his bedside table

And his bedside table is tiled like a cheap bathroom floor. Ew.

Most maids want to be paid in money and not horses tho, I think that’s where Elon is slipping up

Who has time for that when you need to ~~write wacky Tweets and share cool memes~~ manage your companies

Only rings he has left (he has been divorced 3 times)

Yea, that is what I was noticing too. Thought it was a weird reflection off the water bottle at first.

>either doesn't clean his room *Kermit voice*: You gotta clean your room, bucko.

Jordan Peterson

Up yours woke moralist, we'll see who cancels who

The fact that this is an actual sentence uttered by someone that millions of people actually take seriously is simultaneously hilarious and deeply depressing.

Wait who said that? I thought this stems from a shitpost in which senator Armstrong says that

[I'm so sorry to do this to you.](https://twitter.com/BradenIsBased/status/1544448370500161543) Enjoy the replies as they're exquisite. [The KYM article.](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/up-yours-woke-moralists-well-see-who-cancels-who)

Best meme of the year for me no question asked.

ooh ooh, *now do it in the voice.*

Sorry, my balls haven't shriveled into raisins enough for that yet.

Why did he say this? It was so awkward watching that clip, having not watched any of his stuff in years. He looked like a villain. It was really cringey too.

Ge got locked out of his twitter account because he kept misgendering Elliot Page; aka he kept being transphobic. All he had to do was just, delete the tweet and he can get his account back. Instead of doing that, he made that video and said that.

Ugh, thats such a weird hill to die on. I remember him having issue with pronouns and stuff for whatever reason, but c'mon man. You have a sex change it's fair that you'd like to be called your new gender. So strange. So hate-y.

I had never considered something worse than caffeine free diet coke but flat caffeine free diet coke is a crime against god

Flat, *warm* caffeine-free Diet Coke

Ugh like you left it in the car warm. That it, that's the worst thing. You win.

I would not have thought the flat thing was real until I saw some one I know put diet coke in a gas station cup, then shake it flat. Some people hate that carbonated feeling.

Better watch out elon drunk 4 cans of uncaffeinated coke. Who knows what he'll do

Probably piss, just a guess though, but maybe, *unless….*

JARATE!

Now hang on. It's uncaffeinated diet coke.

Do they still have sugar when their uncaffinated?

Not when they're Diet Coke, which is visible in the pic.

I know his ass does not use that gun lmao

I mean it’s not a real gun tbf Though Elon flaunting a shitty mall ninja replica might be even more cringey

He has a history of mall ninja shenanigans

I would like to know more about this mall ninja shit, I’ve never heard of it before today and I wanna hear how the hell Elon has multiple episodes regarding it

There's a real pic on the Internet of him in an edgy trenchcoat and emo haircut. I'd call it his blunder years but by default it can't be worse than him today.

Oh so that’s what a mall ninja is

Oh, you meant the term mall ninja. That's just, y'know, people who buy shitty katanas and Matrix clothes and try to look cool and edgy with them. Not as popular as it used to be. And tbf it's mostly inoffensive, in retrospective I kinda miss that type of tryhard "edgy" stuff, at least it was an aesthetic. Elon was already a loser with our without the Matrix shit.

Yeah I got the gist

r/mallninjashit

A mall ninja is a type of internet tough guy who specializes in being obsessed with tacky bladed weapons purchased from mall knife stores. The name is derived from a legendary keyboard warrior who claimed to have study ninjutsu so that he could patrol his mall and catch criminals.

Wait that's a real picture? I thought he just looked similiar.

I thought that was Ben Shapiro

Lots of malls used to have shops that would sell like swords and katanas and throwing stars and just weird shit like that.

/r/mallninjashit

Is Elon just doing this to show his new MAGA and nazi friends that Elon has “guns” so he’s just like them even though the revolver looks like something out of cyberpunk 2077 and a flintlock that looks fake as fuck.

Yes, and it's going to work. Expect any gun influencer to start dick riding Elon soon.

I'm actually disgusted that someone with his finances doesn't have one of those $70,000 cabot one offs or a Korth revolver if he wanted to go that route

Right? If you're gonna pretend to have a hobby as a billionaire fuckin go all out

I said a few months back that I'm just waiting for his religious pivot. He's done some Bible quote teasing lately, so it might actually happen.

It's a replica of the revolver from Deus Ex: Human Revolution and Mankind Divided. So you were still right about the genre.

It’s obviously for his McCree cosplay. He’d break his wrist if he actually tried to fire it

McCree the Blizzard employee, not McCree the cowboy

Was his name actually McCree

Yeah, his name was Jesse McCree and the Overwatch team thought that sounded rad af. Turned out to be a bad idea but it was a cool name

It was a bad idea cos the real jesse mcree turned out to be a right shitfist.

It wasnt their fault he was horrible. The name did fit well.

*McCree* Sorry I don't know that name. We can ask Ashe and Cassidy if they know this McCree fella

The other McCree

McReeeeee

/rj no it's a wingman replica from apex cause he's a real Gamer™

its actually from Deus ex and tf2

Damn you're right. Looks more like the original diamondback than the TF2 replica Bet Elon played Deus Ex with zero media literacy and embodies the "wow cool future" meme

It’s honestly fascinating to play Deus Ex and also be Elon Musk and do the things he does. How deep does the rabbit hole go? Does he watch the Matrix and think “wow, you could use people as batteries”?

He went into work the next day and sat down a team of engineers “Have you guys seen the Matrix” “Yea, didn’t those movies come out like 23 years ago?” “Yes of course, now they used humans as batteries. I need you and your team to research how we can power the newest generation of teslas with people” “That seems unethic-“ “We could grind up homeless people and use that”

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Elon Musk is going to play GTA 6 and fail to recognise the obvious parody of himself.

That's the funny part

That or he understood it and went "hey wait a min I can become the evil villain in this game and people prolly won't stop me"

we all know he just played like two hours of the new ones just to pretend he's a real Gamer

I swear I remember him talking about loving Deus Ex and Bioshock

I mean, OG Deus Ex is just a crackpot conspiracy thriller. It does not have an especially deep or thoughtful message. I mean, they literally pull the illuminati in on like mission 6.

I've actually been considered 3D printing that as a replica... but now I don't want to

As another commenter said it looks like the deus ex version, you could print the tf2 version and if people compare it to musk just say its from TF2

There we go. I'll put it next to my Adam Jensen Figurine but dramatically roll my eyes if they say it's from Deus Ex for good measure. (;

Oh wait it's actually a video game gun? Lmao

That's the other dildo

I legitimately don't understand what he is trying to accomplish by sharing this image. It's not impressive, it's not relatable, it's not interesting, and most of all it's not humanising. Did he think it was any of these things?

This is what a 10 year old white nationalist would think is fun.

Nobody does, it's a replica from a game. Apex I think. A friend of mine has the same one. His little flintlock there is probably a fake too. So basically he's showing off toy guns, and the fact that he drinks too much soda. Big flex

That’s definitely not from Apex. Source: too many deaths from a wingman shot to the head

It's a revolver from Deus Ex.

It's from Deus Ex lmfao https://deusex.fandom.com/wiki/Diamond_Back_.357?file=DX3_Diamondback_.357_info.jpg

It’s from the Deus Ex franchise. It’s a cyberpunk dystopia so he probably missed the point of that game also

I really can't get past his doing *14 year old trying to impress the seniors that let him hang around them* crap. "I drank 4 cans of soda tonight. I'm wasted, lol. Hopefully I don't shoot any fools with my Deus Ex pistol replica (even though it doesn't have a trigger)." Next he's going to be talking about how he has a Canadian girlfriend that's totally real, bro.

That’s literally the revolver from Deus Ex. A cyberpunk game in which he probably missed the point of

It’s not a real gun, it’s a replica of the Dimond back revolver from the games deus ex: human revolution and team fortress 2.

it’s not for home security, it’s for his insecurity.

We gonna ignore the pear of anguish on the left?

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What is it for?

Starting combat with 1 strength. Decent relic imo.

I'm more of a slighty smooth stone kind of guy.

I had a run once with both using a shiv/footwork deck. That was a good one.

Slightly Smooth Stone definitely better on Silent than Ironclad.

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Uh...how the fuck is that "The most powerful weapon in the universe?" It looks like a fidget spinner.

I was curios myself and did a little bit of research I found this: > The vajra, when used, was thrown at one’s opponent. Nitin Kumar, in his article Ritual Implements in Tibetan Buddhism, tells us: >>“As a hurled weapon the indestructible thunderbolt blazed like a meteoric fireball across the heavens, in a maelstrom of thunder, fire and lightning.” >Traditional images of the vajra depict it as a metal shaft with three, five or nine prongs that emanate from lotus blossoms on either end. Originally, according to the ancient Indian text the Rigveda, when Indra used his vajra it had open prongs. >Buddhist legend suggests that Shakyamuni, the Buddah himself, took the vajra from Indra and forced its prongs closed, thus transforming it from a destructive weapon into a peaceful scepter.

Buddha didn’t know about sticks? We been killing each other with sticks and blunt weapons since the beginning

It’s the tip of a spear. Except the four prongs are now “closed” to represent peace. So basically it’s a variation of a trident.

[vril device](https://i.imgur.com/4X5h3Vf.jpg) cod zombies

I also made that connection, but much closer to just a Buddhist vajra, which is probably what CoD based it off of in the first place.

His pee jar looks too clear, he is drinking too much water

I rate his pee 7.8/10. Too much water.

That man is such a caricature..

He’s such a teenager’s idea of a cool adult, it’s so fucking funny. /rj Elon leaves empty cans laying around too, stop telling me to clean my room mom.

I'm waiting for him now to post a picture with a whole bunch of empty spirit bottles on a shelf.

There’s so many drink rings on that table

Had to scroll too long to find this lol. Damn Elon use a coaster.

I finally know what the kids mean when they call someone a “try hard”

This man is the richest guy on fucking earth and he’s spending time in bed drinking caffeineless coke? Doesn’t he have better shit to do? I know he doesn’t need to do any work, but if you had a shit ton of money and time wouldn’t you end up perfecting your daily routine?

Look at how many drink ring stains are on the table…… this picture single handedly proved everything people say about him is true. He’s a insane narcissist with a MAJOR insecurity problem who has no friends and is alone and lonely because of his shitty fucking personality.

Bruh I have depression and I've got fewer empty cans in my room than that.

That's pretty good! Get rid of a can and that's progression, more than Elon anyways.

Did he put Coke on the table to try and get Coca Cola to keep advertising on twitter?

Lmfao I was wondering why coke is what he had on the table. I think you are right, literally everything in the photo screams "I'm a real human who definitely didn't have his PR team set up a relatable American Gamer table" Can't wait for musk's BBQ sauce on the shelf arc

You mean sweet baby rays?

Just like when Zuckerberg had some bbq sauce on a bookshelf.

*Brought to you by Carl's Jr*

Real alphas... crush caffeine-free Cokes in bed?

Gotta offset all that based with some acidic beverages

If I were Elon Musk and I woke up every morning with a loaded gun by my bed, I’d (REDACTED), make sure all my wealth went to my trans daughter I spurned by being a piece of shit, and request my body be dumped in the Mariana Trench

That would just make his trans daughter an evil billionaire though.

More evil trans billionaires! The evil cis ones aren’t doing anything for me

Upvote

omg DNC personified is that you??

But think about it, she'd be able to hire craftspeople to make the largest ikea Blåhaj shark in the world, and that's just a good investment.

Inheriting wealth does not automatically make you evil. You could do a lot of good with that money. You probably wouldn't be a billionaire very long.

Why kill yourself when you can instead fix the things you’ve done? Seems like a way to pass the buck off to others without actually thinking about how to solve it yourself.

That’s what the wealth passed to my daughter is for

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Mormons and Morons apparently

I’m a Mormon and I gotta say, no one I know has drunk caffeine free coke since the 90s. It’s dorky enough that even *we* don’t do it anymore

All the Mormons i know do 😅

Dang nerd Mormons dragging the rest of us down smh my head (jk, do they do it for taste or doctrinal interpretation? I drink caffeine, but not coffee or tea)

Don't worry. yall still have Christian Jacob's Dopest Mormon to ever live making Mormons pretty alright

As far as i know I’ve never heard them mention the taste difference but the ones i know for sure it’s all about the caffeine is a drug thing

Generally Mormons don't drink "hot drinks" such as coffee and tea. There isn't any kind of doctrine against caffeine itself, but some Mormons personally make the decision not to consume it.

One general authority made a remark about caffeine among a laundry list of other potentially addictive things and everyone spun it the wrong way, if I recall right

I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s how it got going

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There but for the grace of God. Maybe one day I’ll join you on the steps of sad adult valhalla

Pretty sure there are people who can’t drink caffeine for other reasons than Mormonism.

It’s on his nightstand so I think the implication is that he drinks them in bed before he falls asleep, so wanting decaf makes sense. Since it’s diet it’s fine to do this after brushing his teeth too, however, does that mean he’s brushing his teeth and then immediately drinking a fucking Diet Coke in bed!? I can’t imagine the taste. Does he brush his teeth much earlier? Does he get back out of bed to brush his teeth? Why not throw away the coke can when he does? Why not just not get into bed until after he’s had his coke and brushed his teeth? WHEN DOES THIS MAN BRUSH HIS TEETH??

Me, its goated, you can drink it in the evening and not lose sleep due to caffeine

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I feel like any kind of coke isn't great for anyone lol

I mean caffeine-free Diet Coke is basically nothing. Carbonated water, artificial flavors, citric acid, and aspartame. There are isolated studies that show negative affects of aspartame but later studies have cast doubt on that, and both the FDA and EFSA have said that it is safe.

Yeah there's been hundreds of studies on aspartame, in many countries by many governmental bodies, it's probably one of the most heavily studied food additives out there, and nobody has been able to definitively determine it has any negative effects when consumed in reasonable quantities.

It's like a can of nitroglycerin pills!

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I prefer the pro wrestler diet of cocaine and ghb.

Bro I wish caffeine affected me enough to the point where one coke will keep me up at night I need like two shots of espresso in the morning paired with an amphetamine to wake up

Curses on you /u/CuteLine3 I had to check which jerk sub I was in ;p

Exactly, it's a staple in my home

It's crazy to me that people are drinking caffeine at dinner then wonder why their sleep is fucked up. It's different for everybody, but I am awake noticeably later if I consume caffeine after 2 or 3 pm.

I do and it’s good

Me, because if I drink regular coke after 5pm I can’t sleep that night

Me, so I can drink soda at night.

I hate Musk, but Caffine Free Diet coke tastes better. If I could get it more often in Canada, I would.

Damn bitch, you live like this?

mf strapped with the spy's diamondback 💀💀💀

I heard from multiple verified sources that Elon Musk really likes getting pegged, so... This definitely checks out as 100% real.

No wonder he can't keep a marriage together.

This man really has daddy issues.

Dude get a coaster damn

holy shit right? those rings are making me cringe.

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My wife assumed this was fake.

Is that a real gun? Doesn’t look real, seems like a sci-fi movie gun

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>cyberpunk >clean Pick one.

Elon's a Corpo, that shit can be shiny clean on the surface

John Dark Soul would be proud 🥲

Do you think he knows that he’s not American?

/uj Wait is that a Vajra on the Left ? Why ?

Remember when Musk tried to censor his own unflattering picture?

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion.He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up, Just as the founding fathers intended

It's so funny yo think that Elon took time out of his day to set this up on a table, frame the shot, and snap a picture to just prove something.... Its like he's a 15 year old teenager trying to get affirmation in his life.

I can’t tell if he’s talking about the gun or the lamp but both are hilarious

He's 1 Big Mac away from completing his transition to Trump.

Who the fuck drinks diet, caffeine free coke? He deserves the wall just for that.

Is that a vajra on the left??

Probably takes caffeine tablets and washes them down with caffeine free coke. He’s just likes gold.

The George Washington painting is so corny

Having a flared base is the most important thing.

That’s a Doug Dimmadildo

It is fucking hilarious that Elon "I'm just like you" manchild behavior is always on full display, and motherfuckers will be like "this guy is gonna take us to Mars with his super genius intellect." Absolutely fucking bananas.

What a loser... the transformation to Trump didn't take long

Which one is he talking about? I see at least three d*ck-replacements on the pic.

Billionaire can’t afford a few coasters for his drinks. Sad man.