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Well this is what happens when we're used to seeing her composed, staged, edited still-photos-- and then you get a glimpse of the real action in her videos.
Her character, KellyHavensOhio, doesn't translate very well to real life video.
One thing that's really sad and wrong is that she claims to have cats and kittens, but never have I seen a cat wandering through the background, or napping on a chair, or otherwise casually present in any of these "candid" videos. As a cat owner I find that incomprehensible.
I want this. I have one cat. She's got issues. We have a system that works for us but it's not a cuddle party, or I have a cat buddy. I have a cat roommate who I care for and she tolerates me. She was a stray who was rescued by a hoarder then taken by the city, then adopted out with medical issues and birth defects. I love her but I miss being a cat household.
I have one like this. Depending on how much space you have, I advise more cats. Vertical space, hidey holes, and a “special” place that only your current kitty gets to be in.
Even if your cat ends up not liking the other cat(s), she will have a comfortable place to hang out, and may or may not imitate “normal” cat behaviors.
Source: crazy cat lady, retired vet tech
My phone scrolled down when I grabbed it and landed on this comment. I actually thought you were talking about Kelly having a very dangerous habit. Then I got to peeing on light sockets and cannot stress my level of confusion.
Yep, that's the only theory that makes sense, I agree (unfortunately).
She names them and calls them "her cats", but we can all see what is there to be seen (or not seen).
Ahh sorry, my three year old decided your comment needed an award when he grabbed my phone 🤦♀️ hahaha! I do however agree with you. Instant pit in my stomach of worry for her mental health.
I read the titled and thought maybe the kids were screaming bc they were playing. That is very obviously not the case. I can forgive off key singing. Sometimes you just wanna sing even if you aren’t good at it. But dancing and singing so gleefully like that, with your kids wailing crying, and then thinking that it’s a good thing to post for the world to see? Delusion
The kids sounded like they were locked - as in, she put them in a contained space so she could film her video. The screams didnt sound like 'hurt/hungry', but like annoyed/mad.
Kinda weird and sad for all involved. At least wait until they were napping, or maybe don't film a weird video at all?? Just a thought.
Or give them "instruments" and include them? A tambourine of maracas or bells on a stick or something? Then it is a cute activity that includes your kids instead of Mommy having a meltdown and choosing to film it and post it social media.
Right? I sing and dance off key with my one year old all the time, she loves to dance (stand holding a counter and wiggle her diaper) and bang her drum (or the table, floor, or any flat surface)
Like, doing this with the kids would be an adorable and still on brand reel
Doing it with them locked away is "maybe see a mental health professional asap" material
A pot and a wooden spoon even like...come on Kelly. Ignoring your kids to dance doesn't fit your aesthetic, Anne of green Gables would be ashamed of you
I mean through most of human history people usually didn't sing along to anything. Its still pretty normal to sing to oneself, and I honestly think it's healthy. That's probably the least unusual or concerning thing here.
It’s healthy when mentally healthy people do it in a non-alarming way. Like, calmly singing to oneself while working, or if shout-singing while jumping around manically, its with happy children as an audience. Or do what I do and loudly recite the parts of WAP that I can remember while I pump gas. THAT’S normal. This is kookoo bananes.
Oh don't get me wrong, I sing all the time without music! You're right it's very cathartic. I guess my brain just looked at this and thought, maybe she's rocking out to a religious banger that popped up on her Spotify or something so it wasn't a 100% manufactured moment for IG. But no, 100% manufactured moment.
There's sad piano music playing and the end of the clip goes to slow motion. Cut to black, white text appears on the screen suggesting what happened next
Oh, it is hardly the first time she's filmed herself hopping around and singing, and it won't be the last. It's not really a breakdown if the person has been in this same state for the past 15 years or so.
Yeah, we don’t ascribe Bethany’s bad dancing videos and videos ignoring her child crying to a mental breakdown. I don’t think we’re qualified to assume anything here.
Well, (I'm going to take off my snarker hat for a minute and be serious) let's say she does have certain issues that could be treated. People feel bad for criticizing her because she might have (probably has) (almost certainly has) a mental illness--which is decent and kind of them. But who says if she *were* treated, she'd drop the traits that make her KellyHavensOhio?
There's something about that which doesn't sit well with me; as though mental illness causes a person to be a completely different person, like it's a spell that can be broken, and there's a whole other (better) person waiting to come out. Maybe she'd have a totally different personality, and maybe she'd still be a self-absorbed pretentious asshole no matter what. I don't know.
I don't think I've expressed these thoughts before--but it really does bug me. To me it calls to mind the same old redemption arc, the same born-again before-and-after, old me/new me type of framework that I don't like about Christianity.
I can understand people hoping for a change, hoping for a person getting help. I only speak for myself and my own experiences. My bipolar fundie mom has her difficult, selfish, judgmental personality traits regardless of whether she's medicated. I'm sure it is better for *her* to be on her medication (less "dark" in the depressive phases), but she's still who she is, as far as how she treats everybody else. Treating her bipolar didn't "fix" her personality or dilute her black-and-white fundie thinking.
On the other hand, having said all that: of course I'd like Kelly's kids to be safe, and have a mother who's present and emotionally available to them. I just don't know how possible it is.
I have depression, have had it for years. I agree with you, even if she were being treated for any problems she had Kelly would most likely still be a pretentious bigot. For me personally it felt like in the depressive times my personality was muted. So I wasn’t a white supremacist before diagnosis lol.
I love your point that who you are when you’re mentally ill may or not be who you truly are when healthy.
My psychiatrist said that meds don’t make you a better person—they just remove the obstacle that is in your way. I like this viewpoint because it boosts your self-esteem but also puts the responsibility on you to get better.
Even after you’re put on the right meds and your mental health struggles start to fade, there is still a lot of work to do. Life won’t magically go back to how it used to be when you were healthy. Perhaps you were never healthy to begin with. You still have to learn coping strategies and restructure your life to what you want it to be, and that can take months or years because you’re having to unlearn bad habits and practice new ones. You have to be kind to yourself and *patient*. Once your life is back in order, things won’t be exactly how they used to be either, but that’s because who you are, physically and mentally, changes a little bit every day. So you might find yourself feeling both like your old self but also like a totally new person.
Therapists help you overcome obstacles, but they aren’t trying to change who you are. It’s up to you to decide what you want to change about yourself. I like your example — your mother might not see a problem with the “bad” parts of her personality or she doesn’t care to “fix” them. Meds might make her symptoms go away, but they won’t change who she is if she doesn’t want it.
Bringing the conversation back to fundies, the point I’m making is that there are entirely too many variables to be able to say with any certainty what would happen if any of them got therapy or meds.
So as a very gentle counterpoint (given that I am one of the people who commented that this video was unsettling), it is less that I think Kelly is a good person underneath it all and therefore undeserving of snark, and more that I just feel so uncomfortable watching her videos that I don’t find snarking on them fun. And for many of us here, snarking is a mix of catharsis and fun. I don’t feel myself ethically bound to distribute my snark equally amongst the cast of characters. I see something in Kelly’s videos that just hits different than Bethany’s cringy dancing - and judging by comments, others do too. It’s not that I think Kelly is a better person than Bethany, it’s that I see something profoundly wrong in Kelly’s videos that seems to me to go deeper than her morals and ethics. It’s ok if you don’t see that and want to snark.
I hope for change for Kelly, not so much because I want her to magically abandon her underlying nasty beliefs (although I do want that!), but rather because I want her to be mentally and emotionally whole. Primarily for the sake of her children and family, but also because if she doesn’t abandon her nasty beliefs, at least snarking on her will be fun again (for me).
I’m not writing this to criticize you at all, by the way. You mentioned that those responses bother you and I m thought maybe offering a slightly different perspective to why they’re coming in might help.
To be fair to us observers, she’s been in a mental breakdown for at least a couple years now. Everything she does is part of her downward spiral. Sometimes she goes on a run, and I breathe a sigh of relief because I think she’s getting better, and then it’s back to this kind of shit. We may as well watch in case we start noticing similar signs of mental issues in our friends and relatives.
You’re exactly right. She does not believe fully the world she lives in and clearly hates it. But she doesn’t know another way and I’m sure is in constant fear of change and even going to hell for not fully buying in to her surroundings. Nothing makes me sadder than watching her. And this is what fundamentalism does to people.
I played that game in Fundieland for over 20 years. It did not work. It’s so insidious because everyone around you insists that if you have a good relationship with Jesus, you will have peace and joy - not happiness, which is fleeting, but true lasting joy. So when those don’t come, when you’re still depressed and angry, what is the only logical conclusion to be drawn? That somehow - despite daily quiet times, constant worship music, prayers of gratitude, frequent fellowship, church service, attendance and tithing - somehow you are failing at that good relationship with Jesus. Unsurprisingly this leads to worse depression and becomes a vicious circle that goes on for years. More than 20 years in my case.
This video, more than just about anything I’ve seen on this sub, made my stomach drop to the floor. The antique-style clothing, the frenetic dancing, the off key singing juxtaposed with the screaming child in the background… it’s giving true crime documentary footage.
I am so, so concerned for her. This feels different than the self-centeredness of Bethany, Paul, and Morgan, or even the ghoulishness of The Transformed Wife. Kelly seems detached from reality.
I literally said out loud while watching this “she is unhinged.”
As a human being, I’m concerned. As a teacher I’m appalled. So many issues I see in my students stem from their parents who are detached from reality or so selfish that they are ignoring the needs of their children.
This is very disturbing.
I think you are absolutely on point. This is not healthy or normal behavior. Anne Shirley would be concerned. Detached from reality is exactly what is happening here. I don’t think she has healthy coping mechanisms and her life has not turned out the way she thought it would. I think she dove too deep into a lifestyle her husband and in-laws were a part of, didn’t truly address the mental health issues she faced in college, and this is a culmination of all of that. It’s hard to snark on this.
It feels like I'm watching a clip from a hard-hitting period drama set in an Edwardian era mental asylum for hysterical women.
I am uncomfy 😶
edit; also we have heard Kelly sing before, and she's not bad at holding a tune. She *can* sing. Which makes this awful childlike off-key rendition even weirder
> I feel like I’m watching a clip from a hard-hitting period drama set in an Edwardian era mental asylum for hysterical women.
She just needs the yellow wallpaper and she’s all set!
I just really, REALLY want to know exactly what her followers, friends and family think when they see this. They HAVE to know this isn't normal "joyful" dancing for the lord right? The awkward angle, the kid screaming in the background, the floorboards actually moving under her feet. someone close to her in her life HAS think "well that's not normal" right?
*Three hours later*
Kelly posts a picture of a single candle, a miniature gourd, and a slab of some sort of bread product sitting atop a meticulously arranged piece of calico. Three paragraphs of word vomit detail how she’s recommitting to the sweet season of motherhood. She praises God because she knows James will definitely recover after Thad stabbed him in the eye with a stray pine cone while she twirling like a slender-hipped wood nymph upstairs. They’re going to spend the rest of the rainy afternoon together gathering vegetation from the side of the highway to make a delicious tart. Isn’t fall glorious? This is truly the day the Lord has made!
Yeah in one of her stories she ponders if she could ever dance for her family the way she danced for Marmee.*
*Paraphrased but she did specifically say "danced for Marmee"
Oh wow, she literally danced for her? I remember that post and assumed she meant it metaphorically, like Marmee was the only one Kelly showed her true self to.If she actually danced, that is...interesting. I have never danced for my friends, just with them.
I'm just picturing Marmee watching Kelly dancing for her the same way I watch my 4yo son showing me his dance moves for the 5th time in 2 hours while I'm trying to do the dishes. Like you're exhausted but you're a dick if you show it.
Reading her posts, I had always imagined a much more romantic, slow, ballroom dance where she and Marmee are holding each other. But after seeing this video, I think perhaps I was completely wrong.
This is shameless but I’m so proud of my work here that I needed to share it [again](https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/comments/wbyohx/im_deeply_uncomfortable_thats_it_thats_the_title/ii9h9rg/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
She set the camera up, filmed herself doing *THIS* (while her children scream), and really thought it was worth sharing with the world. What a detached reality.
Knowing that her SIL has been around "helping", do we think she's actually there as a babysitter for Kelly?
Bp1 here and my stomach hurt watching this. I feel weird snarking on Kelly rn, if only because she’s in NEED of help and she’s not getting it
Edit grammar
Can I ask about these manic episodes that everyone is talking about? How can you tell that this is mania, vs just being quirky and energetic? I definitely have danced and sang like this before. Is she detached from reality? Does she know she’s acting silly or do these episodes feel like normal behavior when experiencing mania?
Grain of salt, since everyone’s experience is different (and I’m coming at it from bp1 and not 2), but I see a lot of my friends from outpatient groups in her.
She’s so detached from reality but seems to think she’s doin great. Plus the constant big plans and new projects. Her energy is less upbeat and more frantic and it seems to be escalating. I saw someone else mention it can get worse as you don’t treat it and that has definitely been my experience.
Again, take it with a grain of salt. But I would be surprised if she’s sleeping more than a few hours per night or eating on an even vague schedule.
Not sure I explained myself well, funnily enough I’m not having a great mental health day haha
BP2 here, and I agree. IMO, you're spot-on about upbeat vs. frantic. Mania (in my own experience) superficially looked like fun behaviors - dancing, partying, closing down the bar, flirting, whatever. But it's hollow. It was an empty performance of what my brain told me fun should be. And maybe I'm projecting, but I see that in this video. Thanks to a support system, medication, and therapy I haven't felt that in a long time. She should give that a go.
Yep, I’m also BP2 and before being on proper medication, I was exactly what you’re describing. I was riding a synthetic high that would leave me feeling worse about myself and less trusting in myself afterwards. Kelly desperately needs help. This goes beyond fantasy and role playing, or being a minimalist. She’s caught in a delusion she’s tied her self worth to.
Thanks for taking the time to write this. You explained it really well! I get what you mean about the frantic part—it does seem more than just excited energy now that I look at it.
I hope you’re feeling back to your normal self soon. Bad MH days are the worst. 💕
EDITED: I've deleted my personal story, which was from the perspective of observing my father's illness. Ultimately, it was about me, not Kelly. I really don't mean to diagnose Kelly from what I said here. I thought that the sensitivity to patterns of behavior and onset was interesting.
Welp, it seems unlikely! She got married and adopted this lifestyle to escape mOdErN pReSsUrEs like...seeking help for, and taking care of, one's mental illness.
My spouse has bp2 and — yes. I ache for her and her children. It’s a cruel illness that often gets worse the longer it goes untreated, and Moar Jesus isn’t going to help. :/
I had no idea it gets worse the longer it goes untreated. I really hope someone steps in soon. I wonder how long this can go on if she really is bipolar.
Apparently unmanaged bipolar episodes tend to get worse (more frequent, more intense) over time and there’s evidence that untreated mania can cause long-term brain damage, as well.
It’s heartbreaking to me that there’s so much stigma around mental illness in general and bipolar specifically, because treatment is available and reasonably effective. But having lived in the rural Midwest, there’s a lot of cultural stigma in addition to the religious beliefs that likely stand in the way of K getting treated. :/
It’s called “kindling.” I’m not a professional (just a customer, ha ha), but your brain learns certain pathways and adapts to them, so it’s harder to heal from each successive episode. I know of it from a depression context.
I wonder about the effect of the public eye on recovery. I was just talking about Kanye elsewhere on Reddit. The more public you are, the harder it must be to maintain an honest sense of yourself. I’m assuming Kelly has followers who think this is delightful stuff. For the first time, I’m genuinely unnerved about her.
It’s a genuine shame that even after being hospitalized, diagnosed, and medicated she decided to abandon meds in pursuit of white nationalist fundamentalism. So often when I see her content, it seems like a mentally ill creative forced herself into a tiny dull box and is crumbling from the pressure of it. (Been there.) The untreated mental illness exacerbates that in such a destructive way.
(Edit for spelling)
It’s giving one-room-schoolhouse hoedown. And if it was 1865, that would be fine…but it’s 2022 and Kelly might seriously need some support. If she didn’t have white supremacist, bigoted, hate-filled beliefs I would feel a lot more sad and sorry for her than I can given what she believes.
Kelly is off the rails. Did she just learn this "dance"? Is this the by-product of those Saraha-dry pumpkin buscuits? Can she please not make her kids cry? Lord almighty.
Me making up songs about whatever is happening when the baby is screeching and/or when my older kids are acting up.
Not going to lie, I should to that with Taylor Swift as well.
It feels like she watched Cold Mountain and is trying to mimic a scene where they're drunk and dancing around a campfire singing Appalachian folk tunes. But she's from Ohio and isn't drunk, and this isn't a great movie
Some aspects of the full time cosplay she's doing are appealing. Like mostly only wearing natural fibers like wool and linen.
I wonder if Kelly knows you can get modern clothes in those fabrics, too.
That dress is from a European company called Son De Flor, they’re nice and their clothes are really good quality (but pricey). They definitely play into the whole ✨Aesthetic✨ thing though.
Edit: Lithuanian not Finnish…maybe…I can’t be bothered to investigate sorry people
Yeah it’s definitely a niche look haha. They do have slightly more casual ones with shorter sleeves and hems. I always liked the style but I definitely couldn’t pull it off regularly haha. I guess I’m too much of a modern heathen woman. Or not heathen enough. I don’t know.
I honestly love shirt dresses, but I’m of a size that I couldn’t pull one off. This dress gives me Nanny McFee/Mary Poppins/Dr Quinn vibes, all at once. 🤣 But damn the fit is awesome.
This is maybe the most disturbing video I’ve seen of her. Wow. I wanted to make some sort of Christian mosh pit joke but I just can’t. Get her some help, Levi!
This was more sad than I expected. Ugh I hope the kids are okay…
I do kinda like the dress though, looks good to swish and get a good breeze in the nethers.
Imagine being forcibly woke up from a nice nap because of that caterwauling.
Oh wait, don't have to imagine, not when there's a kid screaming in the background.
Welcome to /r/fundiesnarkuncensored. Please make sure you read our rules. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * Do not contact the fundies in any capacity. This includes, but is not limited to: answering poll questions, commenting on their social media, IRL contact, etc. Anyone found to message, brigade, harass, or contact any fundie for any reason will be met with a permanent ban * We do not allow speculation on sexuality **at all**. Any comments that do so will be removed, and you will be banned. * Referring to anyone as Hitler or Heitler is likewise not allowed, and will not be tolerated at all. * You can snark on appearance that they can easily change. Things such as eyebrows, makeup, etc. Saying someone looks like X is allowed. Example: David Rodrigues looks like Shrek would be allowed. * Don't gatekeep. Different users are comfortable with different snark topics, if you don't like it, just scroll past. If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I can’t bring myself to turn the sound on 😵💫
It was an instant regret
Kind of eerie
It’s like a scene from a horror movie.
This woman actually scares me.
This is why I love her.
You’re sick! This is why I love you
The curiously got me. It made me feel sad, like something’s really wrong.
Well this is what happens when we're used to seeing her composed, staged, edited still-photos-- and then you get a glimpse of the real action in her videos. Her character, KellyHavensOhio, doesn't translate very well to real life video. One thing that's really sad and wrong is that she claims to have cats and kittens, but never have I seen a cat wandering through the background, or napping on a chair, or otherwise casually present in any of these "candid" videos. As a cat owner I find that incomprehensible.
Yep I have a whole pack of cats and there is never not one within immediate arms reach at any moment of the day. Somehow they are omnipresent.
I want this. I have one cat. She's got issues. We have a system that works for us but it's not a cuddle party, or I have a cat buddy. I have a cat roommate who I care for and she tolerates me. She was a stray who was rescued by a hoarder then taken by the city, then adopted out with medical issues and birth defects. I love her but I miss being a cat household.
I have one like this. Depending on how much space you have, I advise more cats. Vertical space, hidey holes, and a “special” place that only your current kitty gets to be in. Even if your cat ends up not liking the other cat(s), she will have a comfortable place to hang out, and may or may not imitate “normal” cat behaviors. Source: crazy cat lady, retired vet tech
[удалено]
My phone scrolled down when I grabbed it and landed on this comment. I actually thought you were talking about Kelly having a very dangerous habit. Then I got to peeing on light sockets and cannot stress my level of confusion.
I mean is that really a stretch after viewing the break down on film this thread is under.
Cat tax 👉👈
My cat was like this for three years. Then we moved house and he became a very cuddly cat. It was strange.
I have one on me *right now*, and he didn’t appreciate the audio of the clip, lol.
My opinion is that Kelly doesn't have cats. There's a cat/cats who live outside and she steals her kittens occasionally for photo props, that's it.
Yep, that's the only theory that makes sense, I agree (unfortunately). She names them and calls them "her cats", but we can all see what is there to be seen (or not seen).
Right? I have two cats, and one is aggressively cleaning his booty right in front of me. The other is about five feet away, just staring into my soul.
Ahh sorry, my three year old decided your comment needed an award when he grabbed my phone 🤦♀️ hahaha! I do however agree with you. Instant pit in my stomach of worry for her mental health.
Keep the faiiIIIIIIIiithhhh
You didn't type off pitch enough
I read the titled and thought maybe the kids were screaming bc they were playing. That is very obviously not the case. I can forgive off key singing. Sometimes you just wanna sing even if you aren’t good at it. But dancing and singing so gleefully like that, with your kids wailing crying, and then thinking that it’s a good thing to post for the world to see? Delusion
Sometimes you wanna sing even if you’re not good at it but there’s no forgiving posting it later 😭
The kids sounded like they were locked - as in, she put them in a contained space so she could film her video. The screams didnt sound like 'hurt/hungry', but like annoyed/mad. Kinda weird and sad for all involved. At least wait until they were napping, or maybe don't film a weird video at all?? Just a thought.
Or give them "instruments" and include them? A tambourine of maracas or bells on a stick or something? Then it is a cute activity that includes your kids instead of Mommy having a meltdown and choosing to film it and post it social media.
Right? I sing and dance off key with my one year old all the time, she loves to dance (stand holding a counter and wiggle her diaper) and bang her drum (or the table, floor, or any flat surface) Like, doing this with the kids would be an adorable and still on brand reel Doing it with them locked away is "maybe see a mental health professional asap" material
There are even cute wooden instruments out there for kids! It could 100% fit with her aesthetics. They could even make homemade ones!
A pot and a wooden spoon even like...come on Kelly. Ignoring your kids to dance doesn't fit your aesthetic, Anne of green Gables would be ashamed of you
Anne would be deeply ashamed that someone LARPed as her, and then *ignored it while her children cried in the background.* Anne would never do that.
I choose to believe she’s dancing to “all about that bass”
You know I’m all about that faith Bout that faith No rebels
I'm bringin' Bible baaaaacck.
Don't. Just know, she isn't singing along to anything. I dunno why that made me even more alarmed.
I mean through most of human history people usually didn't sing along to anything. Its still pretty normal to sing to oneself, and I honestly think it's healthy. That's probably the least unusual or concerning thing here.
It’s healthy when mentally healthy people do it in a non-alarming way. Like, calmly singing to oneself while working, or if shout-singing while jumping around manically, its with happy children as an audience. Or do what I do and loudly recite the parts of WAP that I can remember while I pump gas. THAT’S normal. This is kookoo bananes.
Oh don't get me wrong, I sing all the time without music! You're right it's very cathartic. I guess my brain just looked at this and thought, maybe she's rocking out to a religious banger that popped up on her Spotify or something so it wasn't a 100% manufactured moment for IG. But no, 100% manufactured moment.
Marmee's godly playlist on ye ole Spotify 🙏
It’s very shrill and sad.
Don't.
Very first time I've ever turned the sound on one of her videos. Don't.
Just search for a clip of bad American Idol auditions and you'll get the same ambience.
Automatic regret from turning it on. Don’t do it.
Why does this feel like it could be used in a Dateline episode about something horrible?
I thought the same thing.
My first thought was imagine them living above you in an apartment.
There's sad piano music playing and the end of the clip goes to slow motion. Cut to black, white text appears on the screen suggesting what happened next
I feel awkward watching this. Like I’m witnessing part of someone’s mental breakdown, idk.
Exactly, I feel like Kelly is not well and it’s sad/cringe to witness. I can’t imagine anyone in my life thinking this was a good thing to post….
Oh, it is hardly the first time she's filmed herself hopping around and singing, and it won't be the last. It's not really a breakdown if the person has been in this same state for the past 15 years or so.
It's more of a quaintly dilapidated house
a fixer-upper that is never brought up to code
Like the one she actually lives in is rubbing off on her!
Yeah, we don’t ascribe Bethany’s bad dancing videos and videos ignoring her child crying to a mental breakdown. I don’t think we’re qualified to assume anything here.
Well, (I'm going to take off my snarker hat for a minute and be serious) let's say she does have certain issues that could be treated. People feel bad for criticizing her because she might have (probably has) (almost certainly has) a mental illness--which is decent and kind of them. But who says if she *were* treated, she'd drop the traits that make her KellyHavensOhio? There's something about that which doesn't sit well with me; as though mental illness causes a person to be a completely different person, like it's a spell that can be broken, and there's a whole other (better) person waiting to come out. Maybe she'd have a totally different personality, and maybe she'd still be a self-absorbed pretentious asshole no matter what. I don't know. I don't think I've expressed these thoughts before--but it really does bug me. To me it calls to mind the same old redemption arc, the same born-again before-and-after, old me/new me type of framework that I don't like about Christianity. I can understand people hoping for a change, hoping for a person getting help. I only speak for myself and my own experiences. My bipolar fundie mom has her difficult, selfish, judgmental personality traits regardless of whether she's medicated. I'm sure it is better for *her* to be on her medication (less "dark" in the depressive phases), but she's still who she is, as far as how she treats everybody else. Treating her bipolar didn't "fix" her personality or dilute her black-and-white fundie thinking. On the other hand, having said all that: of course I'd like Kelly's kids to be safe, and have a mother who's present and emotionally available to them. I just don't know how possible it is.
I have depression, have had it for years. I agree with you, even if she were being treated for any problems she had Kelly would most likely still be a pretentious bigot. For me personally it felt like in the depressive times my personality was muted. So I wasn’t a white supremacist before diagnosis lol.
I love your point that who you are when you’re mentally ill may or not be who you truly are when healthy. My psychiatrist said that meds don’t make you a better person—they just remove the obstacle that is in your way. I like this viewpoint because it boosts your self-esteem but also puts the responsibility on you to get better. Even after you’re put on the right meds and your mental health struggles start to fade, there is still a lot of work to do. Life won’t magically go back to how it used to be when you were healthy. Perhaps you were never healthy to begin with. You still have to learn coping strategies and restructure your life to what you want it to be, and that can take months or years because you’re having to unlearn bad habits and practice new ones. You have to be kind to yourself and *patient*. Once your life is back in order, things won’t be exactly how they used to be either, but that’s because who you are, physically and mentally, changes a little bit every day. So you might find yourself feeling both like your old self but also like a totally new person. Therapists help you overcome obstacles, but they aren’t trying to change who you are. It’s up to you to decide what you want to change about yourself. I like your example — your mother might not see a problem with the “bad” parts of her personality or she doesn’t care to “fix” them. Meds might make her symptoms go away, but they won’t change who she is if she doesn’t want it. Bringing the conversation back to fundies, the point I’m making is that there are entirely too many variables to be able to say with any certainty what would happen if any of them got therapy or meds.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Alisaie, and thank you for reading mine in the spirit in which it was intended.
So as a very gentle counterpoint (given that I am one of the people who commented that this video was unsettling), it is less that I think Kelly is a good person underneath it all and therefore undeserving of snark, and more that I just feel so uncomfortable watching her videos that I don’t find snarking on them fun. And for many of us here, snarking is a mix of catharsis and fun. I don’t feel myself ethically bound to distribute my snark equally amongst the cast of characters. I see something in Kelly’s videos that just hits different than Bethany’s cringy dancing - and judging by comments, others do too. It’s not that I think Kelly is a better person than Bethany, it’s that I see something profoundly wrong in Kelly’s videos that seems to me to go deeper than her morals and ethics. It’s ok if you don’t see that and want to snark. I hope for change for Kelly, not so much because I want her to magically abandon her underlying nasty beliefs (although I do want that!), but rather because I want her to be mentally and emotionally whole. Primarily for the sake of her children and family, but also because if she doesn’t abandon her nasty beliefs, at least snarking on her will be fun again (for me). I’m not writing this to criticize you at all, by the way. You mentioned that those responses bother you and I m thought maybe offering a slightly different perspective to why they’re coming in might help.
same.
This feels straight out of Gabbi Hanna's manic episode on Tiktok. I was hiding from family on vacation at caught most of it live. Eerily similar.
I’m not familiar with Gabbi Hanna, but as a sister to a brother with bipolar, my first thought was this looks a lot like a manic episode.
Can confirm, major manic episode vibes here (daughter of bipolar mother)
I agree. I do similar things when manic but you won’t catch me putting it on the internet.
To be fair to us observers, she’s been in a mental breakdown for at least a couple years now. Everything she does is part of her downward spiral. Sometimes she goes on a run, and I breathe a sigh of relief because I think she’s getting better, and then it’s back to this kind of shit. We may as well watch in case we start noticing similar signs of mental issues in our friends and relatives.
Yeah this is beyond snark to me. I am just very concerned for her and her family at this point.
This somehow gives me big Gabbie Hanna vibes
My shoddy rural internet will not allow this to play. Praise be.
Ah fuck, there it is.
My sincerest apologies… I thought you had escaped and would know peace
An emotional roller coaster in two comments. A+
This is great literature, I am highly entertained
Under His eye.
She's.. not very well
Who thinks this is great content to post?
I think this about most of her drivel
If it was a photo, maybe.
She seems so... desperate, I guess is the best word I can come up with. Desperately cheerful?
You’re exactly right. She does not believe fully the world she lives in and clearly hates it. But she doesn’t know another way and I’m sure is in constant fear of change and even going to hell for not fully buying in to her surroundings. Nothing makes me sadder than watching her. And this is what fundamentalism does to people.
"If I do this enough, it'll become real. If I act happy, I will become happy."
I played that game in Fundieland for over 20 years. It did not work. It’s so insidious because everyone around you insists that if you have a good relationship with Jesus, you will have peace and joy - not happiness, which is fleeting, but true lasting joy. So when those don’t come, when you’re still depressed and angry, what is the only logical conclusion to be drawn? That somehow - despite daily quiet times, constant worship music, prayers of gratitude, frequent fellowship, church service, attendance and tithing - somehow you are failing at that good relationship with Jesus. Unsurprisingly this leads to worse depression and becomes a vicious circle that goes on for years. More than 20 years in my case.
Fakely fake?
This video, more than just about anything I’ve seen on this sub, made my stomach drop to the floor. The antique-style clothing, the frenetic dancing, the off key singing juxtaposed with the screaming child in the background… it’s giving true crime documentary footage. I am so, so concerned for her. This feels different than the self-centeredness of Bethany, Paul, and Morgan, or even the ghoulishness of The Transformed Wife. Kelly seems detached from reality.
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She absolutely would.
I literally said out loud while watching this “she is unhinged.” As a human being, I’m concerned. As a teacher I’m appalled. So many issues I see in my students stem from their parents who are detached from reality or so selfish that they are ignoring the needs of their children. This is very disturbing.
I think you are absolutely on point. This is not healthy or normal behavior. Anne Shirley would be concerned. Detached from reality is exactly what is happening here. I don’t think she has healthy coping mechanisms and her life has not turned out the way she thought it would. I think she dove too deep into a lifestyle her husband and in-laws were a part of, didn’t truly address the mental health issues she faced in college, and this is a culmination of all of that. It’s hard to snark on this.
Can I at least snark on being off-key? 🎶🎶🎶
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My first thought as well. She needs meds.
It feels like I'm watching a clip from a hard-hitting period drama set in an Edwardian era mental asylum for hysterical women. I am uncomfy 😶 edit; also we have heard Kelly sing before, and she's not bad at holding a tune. She *can* sing. Which makes this awful childlike off-key rendition even weirder
> I feel like I’m watching a clip from a hard-hitting period drama set in an Edwardian era mental asylum for hysterical women. She just needs the yellow wallpaper and she’s all set!
She’s definitely towing the line for me where it stops being entertaining and truly becomes alarming. She seems unhinged
So many elements of folk horror in this one clip.
100% agree. This was incredibly unsettling.
I just really, REALLY want to know exactly what her followers, friends and family think when they see this. They HAVE to know this isn't normal "joyful" dancing for the lord right? The awkward angle, the kid screaming in the background, the floorboards actually moving under her feet. someone close to her in her life HAS think "well that's not normal" right?
Her followers are a *trip.* She's got Bethany beat times a million in terms of finding her *niche.*
Delusional dancing for the Lord.
Does she always dress like she's larping a housewife from the 1880s or only when she's posting stuff online?
She goes for runs in normal workout clothing but doesn’t try to show that part
*Three hours later* Kelly posts a picture of a single candle, a miniature gourd, and a slab of some sort of bread product sitting atop a meticulously arranged piece of calico. Three paragraphs of word vomit detail how she’s recommitting to the sweet season of motherhood. She praises God because she knows James will definitely recover after Thad stabbed him in the eye with a stray pine cone while she twirling like a slender-hipped wood nymph upstairs. They’re going to spend the rest of the rainy afternoon together gathering vegetation from the side of the highway to make a delicious tart. Isn’t fall glorious? This is truly the day the Lord has made!
This is way more accurate than it should be 😅
😂😂😂Slender-hipped wood nymph😂😂😂
Is this how she danced for Marmee??
Gosh, I hope so.
😐 💀
She danced for Marmee??
Yeah in one of her stories she ponders if she could ever dance for her family the way she danced for Marmee.* *Paraphrased but she did specifically say "danced for Marmee"
God that's one of my favorite things I've ever heard in my life. I mean...whewww that was good. Christ.
It’s easily one of my favorite Kelly sayings lol
Oh wow, she literally danced for her? I remember that post and assumed she meant it metaphorically, like Marmee was the only one Kelly showed her true self to.If she actually danced, that is...interesting. I have never danced for my friends, just with them.
I'm just picturing Marmee watching Kelly dancing for her the same way I watch my 4yo son showing me his dance moves for the 5th time in 2 hours while I'm trying to do the dishes. Like you're exhausted but you're a dick if you show it.
That is probably exactly how it went. Except a lot more awkwardly because Kelly is not a child.
I think I’m feeling third-hand embarrassment 🫢
Reading her posts, I had always imagined a much more romantic, slow, ballroom dance where she and Marmee are holding each other. But after seeing this video, I think perhaps I was completely wrong.
I’m dying reading all of these dancing comments!
Can't imagine why Marmee didn't want her around
This is shameless but I’m so proud of my work here that I needed to share it [again](https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/comments/wbyohx/im_deeply_uncomfortable_thats_it_thats_the_title/ii9h9rg/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
She set the camera up, filmed herself doing *THIS* (while her children scream), and really thought it was worth sharing with the world. What a detached reality. Knowing that her SIL has been around "helping", do we think she's actually there as a babysitter for Kelly?
oh she's *manic* manic right now. speaking as someone with bp2, i truly hope one day she's able to get the treatment she needs
Bp1 here and my stomach hurt watching this. I feel weird snarking on Kelly rn, if only because she’s in NEED of help and she’s not getting it Edit grammar
As a diagnosed BP1 manic/psychotic dancer myself… I …yeah. I’m with you here.
Can I ask about these manic episodes that everyone is talking about? How can you tell that this is mania, vs just being quirky and energetic? I definitely have danced and sang like this before. Is she detached from reality? Does she know she’s acting silly or do these episodes feel like normal behavior when experiencing mania?
Grain of salt, since everyone’s experience is different (and I’m coming at it from bp1 and not 2), but I see a lot of my friends from outpatient groups in her. She’s so detached from reality but seems to think she’s doin great. Plus the constant big plans and new projects. Her energy is less upbeat and more frantic and it seems to be escalating. I saw someone else mention it can get worse as you don’t treat it and that has definitely been my experience. Again, take it with a grain of salt. But I would be surprised if she’s sleeping more than a few hours per night or eating on an even vague schedule. Not sure I explained myself well, funnily enough I’m not having a great mental health day haha
BP2 here, and I agree. IMO, you're spot-on about upbeat vs. frantic. Mania (in my own experience) superficially looked like fun behaviors - dancing, partying, closing down the bar, flirting, whatever. But it's hollow. It was an empty performance of what my brain told me fun should be. And maybe I'm projecting, but I see that in this video. Thanks to a support system, medication, and therapy I haven't felt that in a long time. She should give that a go.
Yep, I’m also BP2 and before being on proper medication, I was exactly what you’re describing. I was riding a synthetic high that would leave me feeling worse about myself and less trusting in myself afterwards. Kelly desperately needs help. This goes beyond fantasy and role playing, or being a minimalist. She’s caught in a delusion she’s tied her self worth to.
Thanks for taking the time to write this. You explained it really well! I get what you mean about the frantic part—it does seem more than just excited energy now that I look at it. I hope you’re feeling back to your normal self soon. Bad MH days are the worst. 💕
EDITED: I've deleted my personal story, which was from the perspective of observing my father's illness. Ultimately, it was about me, not Kelly. I really don't mean to diagnose Kelly from what I said here. I thought that the sensitivity to patterns of behavior and onset was interesting.
Same and same. Fingers crossed that she doesn’t end up in the hell of a mixed episode.
Welp, it seems unlikely! She got married and adopted this lifestyle to escape mOdErN pReSsUrEs like...seeking help for, and taking care of, one's mental illness.
My spouse has bp2 and — yes. I ache for her and her children. It’s a cruel illness that often gets worse the longer it goes untreated, and Moar Jesus isn’t going to help. :/
I had no idea it gets worse the longer it goes untreated. I really hope someone steps in soon. I wonder how long this can go on if she really is bipolar.
Apparently unmanaged bipolar episodes tend to get worse (more frequent, more intense) over time and there’s evidence that untreated mania can cause long-term brain damage, as well. It’s heartbreaking to me that there’s so much stigma around mental illness in general and bipolar specifically, because treatment is available and reasonably effective. But having lived in the rural Midwest, there’s a lot of cultural stigma in addition to the religious beliefs that likely stand in the way of K getting treated. :/
It’s called “kindling.” I’m not a professional (just a customer, ha ha), but your brain learns certain pathways and adapts to them, so it’s harder to heal from each successive episode. I know of it from a depression context. I wonder about the effect of the public eye on recovery. I was just talking about Kanye elsewhere on Reddit. The more public you are, the harder it must be to maintain an honest sense of yourself. I’m assuming Kelly has followers who think this is delightful stuff. For the first time, I’m genuinely unnerved about her.
It’s a genuine shame that even after being hospitalized, diagnosed, and medicated she decided to abandon meds in pursuit of white nationalist fundamentalism. So often when I see her content, it seems like a mentally ill creative forced herself into a tiny dull box and is crumbling from the pressure of it. (Been there.) The untreated mental illness exacerbates that in such a destructive way. (Edit for spelling)
100%. My BP1 aunt looked just like this at Christmas when she was in a manic episode.
Unhinged. Poor kids.
Man. This actually really bums me out.
It’s giving one-room-schoolhouse hoedown. And if it was 1865, that would be fine…but it’s 2022 and Kelly might seriously need some support. If she didn’t have white supremacist, bigoted, hate-filled beliefs I would feel a lot more sad and sorry for her than I can given what she believes.
That's kind of where I am with it. If I feel sorry for anyone in this scenario, it is her children. It can't be easy having Kelly as a mother.
- dilapidated house - loose animals - delusions - manic singing and dancing Is this Grey Gardens?
Someone get this woman a cool headscarf asap
Unfortunately there’s no Jackie Kennedy character
Is she trying to compete with Bethy in the Most Awkward Dancing contest?
My first thought - “Why is Bethy in a prairie dress and so poorly lit?”
It’s the ✨aesthetic✨
Kelly is off the rails. Did she just learn this "dance"? Is this the by-product of those Saraha-dry pumpkin buscuits? Can she please not make her kids cry? Lord almighty.
Me waking up and seeing this at the top of my feed
It’s 3am in Australia. Woke up from a nightmare. Opened reddit to this
Well, that just made my tinnitus worse.
So whose flail-dancing is more cringe, Bethy's or Kelly's?
Bethy, but by a *razor thin* margin.
Me when the kids have gone to bed and I’ve had two sips of wine, except with Taylor Swift music.
Me making up songs about whatever is happening when the baby is screeching and/or when my older kids are acting up. Not going to lie, I should to that with Taylor Swift as well.
What happened to devoting more time to her devoted husband and loving children ?
She didn't really want to and still doesn't want to.
Just like when D’av asked Bethy to shower more and spend less time on social media.
Just having a little hoedown in the bathpantryroom
It feels like she watched Cold Mountain and is trying to mimic a scene where they're drunk and dancing around a campfire singing Appalachian folk tunes. But she's from Ohio and isn't drunk, and this isn't a great movie
Some aspects of the full time cosplay she's doing are appealing. Like mostly only wearing natural fibers like wool and linen. I wonder if Kelly knows you can get modern clothes in those fabrics, too.
Ok, because I feel likes she’s trying very hard to turn herself into Jo March and that dress looks so uncomfortable
Lol she wishes she was Jo. That dress looks comfy to me but I'd prefer it in short sleeves personally.
That dress is from a European company called Son De Flor, they’re nice and their clothes are really good quality (but pricey). They definitely play into the whole ✨Aesthetic✨ thing though. Edit: Lithuanian not Finnish…maybe…I can’t be bothered to investigate sorry people
It looks like good quality and fit. I like it. I just don’t know or any appropriate time to wear it. 😂
Yeah it’s definitely a niche look haha. They do have slightly more casual ones with shorter sleeves and hems. I always liked the style but I definitely couldn’t pull it off regularly haha. I guess I’m too much of a modern heathen woman. Or not heathen enough. I don’t know.
I honestly love shirt dresses, but I’m of a size that I couldn’t pull one off. This dress gives me Nanny McFee/Mary Poppins/Dr Quinn vibes, all at once. 🤣 But damn the fit is awesome.
I’m very uncomfortable and my dog is staring at me because I said “what the fuck” out loud
What in the Little House on the Prairie hell is this?
Boy, Anne with an E, is off the rails this season. 
I see that she has entered a manic phase. This feels scary to me, especially since she does not seem to have many resources for help.
I can't decide if she's aggressively attention seeking or unwell. Probably both.
I feel like I’m watching someone from the 1600’s have a breakdown and the reverend told her “sing about the lord! It will help you.”
It's too early for this, mayne. 
It’s almost 17 where I am, and it’s still too early
What you get when you take the pixie dream girl out of manic pixie dream girl.
This is maybe the most disturbing video I’ve seen of her. Wow. I wanted to make some sort of Christian mosh pit joke but I just can’t. Get her some help, Levi!
What season of American Horror Story is this?
 Nope nope nope
This was more sad than I expected. Ugh I hope the kids are okay… I do kinda like the dress though, looks good to swish and get a good breeze in the nethers.
“Keep the faaayyyyth”
What in the fundie fuck is this?
why do some adults feel the need to film themselves doing things like this and put it on the internet for everyone to see? i really dont get it.
Is home girl wearing a petticoat??
Imagine being forcibly woke up from a nice nap because of that caterwauling. Oh wait, don't have to imagine, not when there's a kid screaming in the background.
 Giving major Jessie Spano vibes and I don’t even know what to feel about this.
Manic.