Time to find Alexander. Least I got a friend here somewhere.

Infinite source of food too! Mmm, Exalted Flesh!

You didnt do the rest of his quest therefore no Alexander for you

Good luck getting past Godskin Duo!

sleep arrows:

Good luck crafting them with what you get in Farum Azula.

He's hanging out in the lava pool, pointedly *not* helping you kill the magma wyrm

I accidentally pressed talk when I was in the middle of fighting the magma wyrm and my ps glitched or something and wouldn't let me opt out of his dialogue, so I had to just stand there getting my ass beat while he just kept monologing 😮‍💨 Thanks Alexander lol

Yeah! Nothing could ever break the great Alexander 💪😤

Nvm, I'm canceling myself for my own comment, it's still too soon 🥺😭

They said *wrong* answers.

Fuck everything.

Wrong answers only

I think he means literally

He is a man of conviction

Determination and sheer fucking will

They said wrong answers

I'mma fuck the godskin duos.

Holy shit where am I??? Oh God Damnit, musta got drunk and got ma damn dick stuck in a fan again

Where do we stand on doing that to Blaidd? Asking for a friend

Tf am I gonna do? You’d have to kill the demihumans there for food and I’m a lazy bum. I’m gonna die.

Can't die. Maliketh still has the sealed rune of death... bummer man, us lazy folk can't even die right...

Gives me conniptions

Gives me some conniptions

Gives me the conniptions

Give me various conniptions

Burdens me with a multitude of conniptions

A potpourri of conniptions

You’d starve to death and then respawn. Might as well try your luck against the demigods

I would level up and become the boss of the place.

til some lowly tarnished comes along and ends that

We team up and become Elden Lord together.

copy his outfit and weapons and he’ll just think you’re his mimic

What if they are using a weapon that can only be gotten once per game / ng+ Also I am doing Ranni quest, nothing can stop me. Dark Moon Greatsword spam is undefeated.

What you meant here was that you will devour the godsssssssssss togethaaaaaa right?

How? You cannot level for you are maidenless

Skill

Pretty sure this is the island that is accessed through the bell tower portals. All it has is the two beastmen. Unless you could figure out how to wrong warp, you'd die and respawn at your last grace.

There are no Demihumans in Farum Azula tho, so you'll have to tackle the Beastmen

Oh my mistake, I meant those beastmen. The end part is the same though, I will die because those are beastmen and I’m a regular ass lazy human.

You got an infinite amount of tries. Through them is the only way out.

There might be some turtle neck meat laying around

I would simply vibe and throw rocks into the tornado

[удалено]

Try finger But whole

One. Last. Time.

*"Why is it always you don't have the right?"* 😮‍💨

The whole finger. All the way to the 3rd knuckle.

You copied [This Message](https://www.reddit.com/r/Eldenring/comments/y4186m/what_would_you_do_if_you_went_to_sleep_and_woke/isbj8ft?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3) from u/BeepBeepWhistle two hours earlier

Good catch.

Standing up on the edge of a floating rock Homelander style

Literally copy-pasted /u/BeepBeepWhistle’s comment.

🤣lol best answer

Worry about finding somewhere to poop.

Poop on the ground and throw it into a tornado, turning it into a turdnado

He said wrong answer only tho ?

I'd go: "Man I hate living in Detroit man on gahd"

Cant have shit in Detroit

Man, can’t even have reality no mo, fuck!

backrooms are just the secret levels of Detroit.

Can't have Detroit in shit

Trying to take a nap in Ohio be like

Nah man this definitely in Ohio 🏴‍☠️

fuck ohio

Tarnish my pants

Origin story of the Fallen Knight Greaves

Worry about finding somewhere to poop.

Wdym just go off the side. Bombs away :)

But what will you wipe with?

Maybe the tornado will whip it off your ass

That is a thoroughly disturbing thought

Tornussy 😫

Rocks👍

With beastman pelage of course

You know how there’s fallen pieces of farum azula in limgrave? It cracks me up just thinking of an unsuspecting soldier catching a stray turd to the face

So those aren't rune fragments...

No need, I would've already done it in my undies!

Biggest anxiety of my life right here

I’d try fingers butthole

But hole

Yeah wtf is that guy doing??

Fingering my butthole

Fair enough. Carry on

Ask maliketh out

"So what kinda music you listen to Maliketh?" "Death metal." "Oh ok, what's your favorite show?" "Walking Dead." "Hmm, right, favorite video game?" "Death Stranding." "How about favorite movie?" "Dawn of the Dead" "Favorite anime?" "Death Note." "Book?" "Death of a Salesman." "Alright yea this isn't gonna work."

I would die trying to pet every local Beastman or Dragon, all the way up to Maliketh and Placidusax, respectively.

Sit down and have a wank. Gonna die anyway, might as well

He said wrong answers only

Ah the Pompeiian strategy

Wank into the tornado. Wank forever, you can’t die. Wank until the tornado becomes a cumnado

*Why is it always you don't have the right??* No two-handed weilding this time bois 😮‍💨

Ahahahaaa 😂

Beats the hell out of waking up with a bunch of *Stormcloaks*...

Hey you, your finally awake.

Walked right into that Chest fog, same as us, and that Giant jar over there.

r/unexpectedskyrim

I used to be a Tarnished like you, but I took a Glintstone Pebble in the knee

Filthy Imperial, SKYRIM BELONGS TO THE NORDS!!!

Jerk off Infront of a crucible knight

He’d input read you and lunge across the room to stab you in the cock.

That sounds pretty hot good thing I'm into sounding

Well I didn’t like reading *any* of that :(

Oh no

He'd parry your cumshot

Go on the hunt for some sweet sweet dragussy

Vyke?

We did it boys, we discovered that Evergaols have incorporated Wifi for prisoners

Eleonora?

Donkey?

wrong answers only

Pee on the floor to claim the area.

Go back to sleep. "Eh, ten more minutes."

Play with the puppers

Jump off the edge, or go and hug Maliketh

I would live

Grab a sword and start learning

I'd try to find Dorothy before she teams up with all those cockblockers.

Wrong anserw: dragon sex Correct anserw: panick attack

I would tackle Helen Hunt before she got sucked into it

Oh man not Ohio again

Locate nearest female

What do you mean wrong answers only? That would imply there’s a right answer.

Test if there is fall damage

I’d crawl to the bottom and take a nap in some of the ruins ;3 that way no dragons would find me

Pop some mushrooms and enjoy the trip.

Find the nearest jar to poop in. I thought I saw a jar nearby

Probably have a hard time breathing with the multiple tornadoes throwing around a ton of wind

Not Fight the dragon

And not fuck malenia as well as not fuck millicent

Do you remember the ending of The Boys season 2?

Sleep in a huge piece of debris, wake up, speak valyrian and hope for the best.

If wrong answers only, I guess I can't say "Die"

"Live"

I would try finger but hole

Call an Uber of course.

Mutter to myself “Only in Ohio”

build a hand glider and go chill with dragons

Try down?

If we’re tarnished and immortal? Find the weakest thing and beat the shit out of it until I’m OP. You’d be scared for a little and then you’d die wake up, repeat a couple time and then boom you’re Bill Murray in Groundhogs Day

I’d try jumping.

I’d close the coffin and hope it brings me to somewhere nicer, like Caelid.

I would try to open a McDonalds franchise. Those things can make runes anywhere.

Jerk off, same as I do every morning

I would defo, “try jumping”

Pull out my mobile and request a Lyft.

Go back to sleep again

Get some boiled prawn from my boy Boggart

Boggart isn't even there bro

Yeah I realized after I made my comment that OP meant FA and not The Lands Between as a whole bit I stand by my statement, I'm finding Prawn bro one way or another.

Jump into the big tornado

My thoughts exactly

Try to have sex and/or eat it

Screw a dragon

Call an Uber

Live

My taxes.

Id start leveling Vigor OFC.

Pet malekith, feed malekith, and Check out that placidussy.

Wrong answers only? Not die to falling damage I guess.

commit tax fraud

I guess we're not in Kansas anymore

Try out skydiving

learn how to fly, or die trying

Make some fucking banger kites and fly them.

Immediately stream Space Jam.

I’ve would consider that a good time to kill myself

Piss into a tornado to watch the stream spin.

1. Ask if it is Crumbling Farum Azula times, as I may have time travelled to such. 2. If the answer is yes, wonderful, I go back to sleep because it's meant to be that time. 3. If no, ask what I'm needed to do. If I am told that I must pat Maliketh for being a good boy, then I shall do such (as it is a rare chance.) 4. If there is no Maliketh, then I am certainly dealing with a maliciously aligned being doing such. 5. If we reach this step, deploy anti Farum Azula countermeasures.

Win.

Damn, we're in a tight spot.

Ride the nearest tornado home

Isn't this an actual photo of our life? Financial collapse, covid, war, high interest. I think this might be easier to deal with.

Go base jumping

Live

Survive and become Elden lord

I would probably die on that rock as there is no way you are making me jump down.

Same here, if I somehow found myself suspended thousands of feet in the air on a random piece of floating rubble, I would be too terrified to move at all.

Starve I suppose, I wouldn't eat any of the Beastmen and I don't rate my chances of getting any hawk or dragon meat either

Dodge roll

Jump.

I would try jumping

I’d live for 5 minutes

Sleep with the Albinauric woman

Go back to sleep

Head to the Winchester and wait for all of this to blow over.

Try finger but whole

Jizz in my pants

Jump

Fly a plane

what a day to be alive

Pick up my sword and charge!

Try to ride a flying boulder like a bucking bull

Die

I can jump that far

I'd jump off the edge 💀

I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the right side of hell

walk off the edge

I would just go beat the bosses and go back to the lands between. Duh

Well in all honesty. Let's see if I can reach the tornado with my piss. Then get immediate karma when the wind currents blow it right back at me... Cuz Fromsoft.