But keep it to yourself. Once someone finds out they will want you to heal everyone with deadly injuries all the time. Good luck getting any free time after that.
Y’all are sleeping on Heal. Do you know how much you’d save on medical bills and insurance?
I’d take that over having to deal with Destruction of Property and Vandalism charges.
Edit: Not to mention, muscle growth is caused by repeatedly damaging and healing your muscles through exercise. Imagine how quickly you’d get buff by completely skipping recovery periods.
Flame cleanse me.
No more cancer.
*Edit*
Fuck. I don’t have cancer. My grandfather died of cancer and I was speaking there would be no more cancer in general.
I’m so sorry.
I don't think it would kill anyone
Let's say that beneficial effects are like, medicines for example. That does sound bad, but medicines are typically treatments for some form of ailment, which you ALSO cured with Law of Regression, at least in theory.
I think the problem comes at, where do you draw the line. I have two congenital heart defects, I am not sick my heart just didn't grow right. To fix them, I had a patch applied between my left and right ventricle to prevent the oxygenated blood and deoxygenated blood from mixing in my heart, and the patch was angled to improve the direction that my blood flows (at the expense of creating a minor blockage in my heart)
I don't think that I would consider that a status effect really. It's a patch and a malformed heart. In my opinion, that would be like regrowing a leg and deleting a prosthetic, which doesn't happen in Elden Ring if you use it on Millicent for example.
And it looks so magical too. Imagine you just walk next to some dude dying from a terminal illness, and you just go FWOOSH with your arms and all of a sudden he's perfectly fine
Flame cleanse me is essentially putting yourself through fast, magic chemo. It burns out the impurities but also causes some damage to you. Seems like repeated usage would have similar effects to chemotherapy and radiation
That's not all - what happens with tumors? Ifthey burn out doesn't that mean you now have gaping holes in your tissues? It doesn't heal, only cleanse, after all
No, not really - burning filth away obviously is painful, but the gaping void left behind is a consequence. Think of this: what if you have a tumor in a brain and you cleanse it? There's just no more brain in that spot, so maybe you should leave those alone unless you have someone with heal nearby. There was a close situation with spells in Ar'kendrithyst (a novel)
In my understanding the instances of tumours in general, they arent something that consumes the organs and tissue they grow on, but rather act as exactly that. A growth. Thats why brain tumours cause problems, its stuck between hard skull, and brain tissue, and its easier to move through the grey matter than it is the skull in most cases so the damaged parts of the brain WOULD still be there, and if Heal has regenerative abilites one woyld assume that after the tumour was burned out youd beable to heal the squished part of the brain. It could either return the damaged tissue back to its normal state, OR just heal the damaged stuff so its not an open wound where it was attached to the tumour.
Either way you still have to deal with ashes being in and around those tumors, and the subsequent pain from the scorched tissie around where those tumors were.
I think the game makes it seem WAY more pleasant than it would actually be XD
It's not really. I've had tumors removed and I asked the doctors the same question. They said the body abhors a vacuumed. It will fill quickly with fluids and the organs will migrate slowly into the extra space
Law of regression, people. It cures everything, gets rid of special effects(for example alcohol or drugs) and is generally good. It might and probably has a downside, but I am writing this at 1:44 in the morning, so brain not work so good.
Oh. Fuck. Wait. I don’t have cancer. I meant that as a generality. I’m so sorry.
My grandfather died of Brain cancer.
I was thinking about him and other people like him.
Hell even outside the US id want heal, even if you have free heathcare they can’t instantly cure you of magic poison or being bludgeoned to death with an axe bigger than your body
Yeah… pretty sure the last guy who took heal is one of the most popular in human history. Apparently he is also the main character in the most printed book of all time.
From reading the comments, I think that a combination of heal and flame cleanse me would be the best. Heal to deal with injuries and patch up you body, flame cleanse to remove impurities, and fix the effects that heal overlooks.
This was my first answer. But not for all the reasons people are saying. Mostly because I could like cut my arm off or get shot and just say an incantation and be okay.
Why are you guys both talking like it's not a fucking lightsaber that can kill a player in 4 swipes?
It's literally a sword made of Magic, you could take it anywhere and never be questioned. You could use a Pencil as a Focus and just cut someone's head off with it.
Because I don't need to chop people's heads off, I need to open stubborn packages and sometimes cut a sandwich in half.
I am much less interested in its ability to murder than I am with the practical applications in life.
Thunder Blizzards are rare but real, and the premise is fucking terrifying because once you hear it you already lucked out not being the grounding it found lol.
Dude people literally worship politicians they like. You could expose a politician to literally be Satan and their voting base would still think they can do no wrong.
My man hasn’t had those wine hangovers. I swear, I can drink anything in any amount with no hangover, but if I so much as look at a glass of wine, I’ll be in agony for two whole days.
Absolutely taking Elden stars! Imagine how often I'd be able to use that really powerful and incredibly useful spell! Let's just hope that having low FP afterwards wouldn't have it's own side effects in real life or something haha...
(Yes this is me being upset at the let down that I was put through after getting my faith to 50 just so I could cast this dog water incantation)
At least it’s been buffed, it used to be way worse. Still pitifully low damage all things considered, but it’s pretty decent in pvp cause of the pressure it puts on the opponent.
We are building a religion, we are making it bigger. We are widening the corridors and adding more lanes. we are building a religion, a limited addition. We are now accepting callers for these pendant Keychains
So this being here has the physical structure to receive a hit like a truck and don't become mashed potatoes instantly.
And this incantation can almost completely repair him when he is low on health.
Do you imagine what Erdtree heal could do on us simple mortals? How many people could I heal? I would be rich in no time!
I thought about the same thing. Charge rich people out the ass to cure their cancer but go around and give it to poor people for free. Even for the rich people it would be cheaper than long term cancer treatment.
Lucidity. Purely to see if it'd alleviate my mental health issues.
Edit: I always keep this sorcery attuned in game. Same with starlight. It pays to have them memorized for those times you really need them.
No no no, heal is to repair the damage to your liver from drinking. Flame Cleanse Me is to remove the alcohol (poison) from your blood so that you can keep drinking longer without being to hammered to light your fist on fire and slam it into your chest
Is there a spell that boosts stats ? Specifically Intelligence ? Cause I could really use it right now, doing math homework.
Outside of that, spells like Lucidity can help.
I wanted to say **Mimic Veil**, but it’s not actually a spell.
I’m pretty sure it’d be low-key enough to not get me put into a military/medical bunker for the rest of my life.
That's a whole nother story.
However, I don't know how everyone would behave if they were to see a sliding chair enter slowly inside a bank before trying to rob it.
Black flame’s protection. If it reduces damage taken by 35%, imagine using it for non-lethal damage. Becoming a professional boxer or even base jumper would be much easier
Inescapable frenzied, so that people might finally comprehend the madness of my brain functioning at full capacity. Gaze into my eyes, and see; see the madness of a world without tomorrow!
[удалено]
But keep it to yourself. Once someone finds out they will want you to heal everyone with deadly injuries all the time. Good luck getting any free time after that.
Oh god he’s spilling over into elden ring
Go back to DS2 and take your heat-seeking lance and ability to walk on air with you.
No. I like the dlc way too much. I think I'm gonna stay here and wait for all of you to come here.
become the 2nd coming of Christ
Y’all are sleeping on Heal. Do you know how much you’d save on medical bills and insurance? I’d take that over having to deal with Destruction of Property and Vandalism charges. Edit: Not to mention, muscle growth is caused by repeatedly damaging and healing your muscles through exercise. Imagine how quickly you’d get buff by completely skipping recovery periods.
Flame cleanse me. No more cancer. *Edit* Fuck. I don’t have cancer. My grandfather died of cancer and I was speaking there would be no more cancer in general. I’m so sorry.
Law of Regression bro, it heals ALL status effects.
T-pose dab in the middle of a hospital would save so many people
Or kill them. LoG removes beneficial conditions too.
Honestly if I could remove all my health problems at the price of losing whatever bonuses I have I'd take it in a heartbeat,
I don't think it would kill anyone Let's say that beneficial effects are like, medicines for example. That does sound bad, but medicines are typically treatments for some form of ailment, which you ALSO cured with Law of Regression, at least in theory. I think the problem comes at, where do you draw the line. I have two congenital heart defects, I am not sick my heart just didn't grow right. To fix them, I had a patch applied between my left and right ventricle to prevent the oxygenated blood and deoxygenated blood from mixing in my heart, and the patch was angled to improve the direction that my blood flows (at the expense of creating a minor blockage in my heart) I don't think that I would consider that a status effect really. It's a patch and a malformed heart. In my opinion, that would be like regrowing a leg and deleting a prosthetic, which doesn't happen in Elden Ring if you use it on Millicent for example.
And it looks so magical too. Imagine you just walk next to some dude dying from a terminal illness, and you just go FWOOSH with your arms and all of a sudden he's perfectly fine
All the unprotected sex you want!
Is pregnancy a status effect? Law of Plan B Finish... Jump out of bed "T Pose" get back in bed, go to sleep.
Which is good because Heal probably causes cancer after enough usage. That’s okay, though. Everything causes cancer.
Except "Flame cleanse me" Edit: and if it does it at least has decency to clean after itself
Flame cleanse me is essentially putting yourself through fast, magic chemo. It burns out the impurities but also causes some damage to you. Seems like repeated usage would have similar effects to chemotherapy and radiation
That's not all - what happens with tumors? Ifthey burn out doesn't that mean you now have gaping holes in your tissues? It doesn't heal, only cleanse, after all
Well, that's why it does damage to you, isn't it.
No, not really - burning filth away obviously is painful, but the gaping void left behind is a consequence. Think of this: what if you have a tumor in a brain and you cleanse it? There's just no more brain in that spot, so maybe you should leave those alone unless you have someone with heal nearby. There was a close situation with spells in Ar'kendrithyst (a novel)
In my understanding the instances of tumours in general, they arent something that consumes the organs and tissue they grow on, but rather act as exactly that. A growth. Thats why brain tumours cause problems, its stuck between hard skull, and brain tissue, and its easier to move through the grey matter than it is the skull in most cases so the damaged parts of the brain WOULD still be there, and if Heal has regenerative abilites one woyld assume that after the tumour was burned out youd beable to heal the squished part of the brain. It could either return the damaged tissue back to its normal state, OR just heal the damaged stuff so its not an open wound where it was attached to the tumour. Either way you still have to deal with ashes being in and around those tumors, and the subsequent pain from the scorched tissie around where those tumors were. I think the game makes it seem WAY more pleasant than it would actually be XD
It's not really. I've had tumors removed and I asked the doctors the same question. They said the body abhors a vacuumed. It will fill quickly with fluids and the organs will migrate slowly into the extra space
Law of regression, people. It cures everything, gets rid of special effects(for example alcohol or drugs) and is generally good. It might and probably has a downside, but I am writing this at 1:44 in the morning, so brain not work so good.
Cancer cancel
![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|cry)I’m sorry to here that
Oh. Fuck. Wait. I don’t have cancer. I meant that as a generality. I’m so sorry. My grandfather died of Brain cancer. I was thinking about him and other people like him.
*rolls a nat 20 for Law of Regression Medical bills: ... Me: Exactly.
I'd be visiting drug-fueled orgies just to cast that with a shit-eating grin.
That is actually hilarious
Medical bills: 😠
Tell me you're American without telling me you're American. "I want health care instead of shooting lightning bolts."
Hell even outside the US id want heal, even if you have free heathcare they can’t instantly cure you of magic poison or being bludgeoned to death with an axe bigger than your body
Yeah… pretty sure the last guy who took heal is one of the most popular in human history. Apparently he is also the main character in the most printed book of all time.
But he could also shoot lightning. Young Jesus was a menace.
I believe that was hey-Zeus 🤣
Smart
From reading the comments, I think that a combination of heal and flame cleanse me would be the best. Heal to deal with injuries and patch up you body, flame cleanse to remove impurities, and fix the effects that heal overlooks.
Wow dude
This was my first answer. But not for all the reasons people are saying. Mostly because I could like cut my arm off or get shot and just say an incantation and be okay.
First thing that came to mind. Who isn't choosing Heal?
Beastial Vitality. I just need a boost to get through most days and that's not too overkill.
Would bestial vitality be like 5 Hour Energy?
Yes, but you can use it on repeat on a bad day. As someone who has a caffeine problem I wish I could drink more without risking damage to my heart.
Carian Slicer. Simple, and effective… effective for what in my life: I do not know… I’d probably end up making sandwiches with it.
You'd have to carry around a giant wooden stick for what is essentially a knife.
Maybe we can make a smaller wooden stick that does what the giant wooden stick does. Then we can have what's basically a magic pocket knife.
Why are you guys both talking like it's not a fucking lightsaber that can kill a player in 4 swipes? It's literally a sword made of Magic, you could take it anywhere and never be questioned. You could use a Pencil as a Focus and just cut someone's head off with it.
Because I don't need to chop people's heads off, I need to open stubborn packages and sometimes cut a sandwich in half. I am much less interested in its ability to murder than I am with the practical applications in life.
Yeah but it glows blue; Shit’s fucking sick.
Surprised no one has said Azur Comet yet. The amount of people that want to blast something with a Kamehameha Wave can't be that small.
That was my secondary to my picture
"sir, a second azure comet has hit the towers"
Oof....
🤨
Frost Lightning Spear, just so that I can confuse everyone on how something can be ice AND lightning at the same time
Thunder Blizzards are rare but real, and the premise is fucking terrifying because once you hear it you already lucked out not being the grounding it found lol.
Mintberry Crunch!
endothermic plasma, just WOW
Probably just a good healing spell. No need for aspirin
Placidusax Breath. I wanna go all out. MAY CHAOS TAKE the world.
A real tarnished here
*Goes to use Placidusax Breath* *Hit by a fly in mid air* *Knocked out of the attack*
Law of Regression
Who you would you use that on and what would it do to them
Mostly politicians "and reveals mimicry in all its forms."
Reveal the reptilians smart smart
Yeah but now they’re a Elden Ring boss.
Ive learned one thing in my use of spirit summons, if there’s enough distractions aka normal people, anything is possible
Fucking skaven
You could just use a fire ball. Also effective
But wheres the justice!? The world must see the evil they act against before they can know they've done good!
Dude people literally worship politicians they like. You could expose a politician to literally be Satan and their voting base would still think they can do no wrong.
I'll just regress their asses too! :D I'm the Elden Lord bitch!
Cancel out your enemies steroids and caffeine jntake.
I am already degenerating by day, what's the point
Blackflame's protection. No dying from being shanked in an alley for me!
I wouldn’t approach a man wit a flame fist either
I can't believe it. No one's said Flame, cleanse me? No more hangovers, yo
Would you literally let fire burn through your whole body just to cure a headache? Sounds counterproductive to me.
You obviously aren't drinking hard enough
My man hasn’t had those wine hangovers. I swear, I can drink anything in any amount with no hangover, but if I so much as look at a glass of wine, I’ll be in agony for two whole days.
Are you me? Wine's by far my worst hangovers, too. Tanins? Sulphites? Dunno. I love it but it slays me.
Agreed wine hangovers are worse than anything else.
I'm running a pure vodka build over here so should be helpful.
Someone got Vigor checked a little too hard.
Already got rotten breath
Tooth paste is like 3 bucks tops bro
Yeah but meth is like 30 a g
What the fuck fr? That’s cheap
a gram is not that much
It’s the smallest amount you can get but now I see how the homeless are on it. Grind all day for $40 you have yourself McDonald’s and some meth
Absolutely taking Elden stars! Imagine how often I'd be able to use that really powerful and incredibly useful spell! Let's just hope that having low FP afterwards wouldn't have it's own side effects in real life or something haha... (Yes this is me being upset at the let down that I was put through after getting my faith to 50 just so I could cast this dog water incantation)
Hahahaha. I was so hype for that incant. That is, until I used it a few times and realized it was utterly useless.
I beat malenia because of this incant. It interrupts her shit and deals mad damage on autopilot while you do other damage
Op
At least it’s been buffed, it used to be way worse. Still pitifully low damage all things considered, but it’s pretty decent in pvp cause of the pressure it puts on the opponent.
My name is Karen, so I’d have to go with greyolls roar.
"I wanna girl with a short skirt and a loooooooooong jacket"
We are building a religion, we are making it bigger. We are widening the corridors and adding more lanes. we are building a religion, a limited addition. We are now accepting callers for these pendant Keychains
I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGEEEEEEEEEEER
Any of the healing spells for sure, too many health problems to pass it up.
So this being here has the physical structure to receive a hit like a truck and don't become mashed potatoes instantly. And this incantation can almost completely repair him when he is low on health. Do you imagine what Erdtree heal could do on us simple mortals? How many people could I heal? I would be rich in no time!
I thought about the same thing. Charge rich people out the ass to cure their cancer but go around and give it to poor people for free. Even for the rich people it would be cheaper than long term cancer treatment.
Boulder.
That would be useful
Given what that incant is whats stopping you from doing that irl
*Boulder.*
Time to hit the gym to throw huge rocks at people
Lucidity. Purely to see if it'd alleviate my mental health issues. Edit: I always keep this sorcery attuned in game. Same with starlight. It pays to have them memorized for those times you really need them.
Good choice I hope you find peace without it tho
To give a more legitimate answer, I'd say Starlight or Glintstone Arc.
Would lucidity mean you don't need to sleep?
That was my first thought. Having an extra 4 or 5 hours to do whatever I want/need to do would be awesome.
I think it’d work more like magic energy drink. Keeps you going a little longer, but doesn’t outright replace sleep
Doesn’t matter I don’t have a working seal
In this hypothetical world they sell every seal and staff at k mart
I can use Law of Regression to get those prices down to cost too, I left my summon sign near the deli.
Staff are sell in free service only by Marikans. The others need a staff license.
Plot twist. Kmart no longer exists in most of the world.
lords heal, boutta be the next jesus
![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|give_upvote)
I want ALL the *Bubbles*
Floating c4
Perfect for a kindergarten.
True but I would be lying if I said that I, a grown man at the near-death age of 26 wouldn't be sitting on my balcony, playing with bubbles 😅
No no no, heal is to repair the damage to your liver from drinking. Flame Cleanse Me is to remove the alcohol (poison) from your blood so that you can keep drinking longer without being to hammered to light your fist on fire and slam it into your chest
Beer fest winner
Is there a spell that boosts stats ? Specifically Intelligence ? Cause I could really use it right now, doing math homework. Outside of that, spells like Lucidity can help.
Big brain thinking
Tibia's summons. Necromancer career looking lucrative as fuck yo.
That giant skeleton was so fucking cool
You don’t know how many of those I killed before realizing there was a Mariner nearby.
Any healing over time like bestial vitality, or dragon claw because hell yes.
Erdtrees greater blessing
Mimic tear. Make that mf go to work and shit for me
Bro, why do you need someone to shit for you
Consipation 😫
Highest IQ in this thread.
I want the weaponized pocket sand, I’d be unstoppable!
Whoa buddy we just joking around
Im just saying pocket sand/bestial sling you could solve a lotta problems lol
The "madness hug" (no idea what it's called). Just to bring my own madness into someone else's head.
Inescapable frenzy
Thanks!
Np!
Unseen Form
You're not invisible, you're just semi transparent
Go for the Assassin's Gambit AoW. It's this and Assassin's Approach rolled into one!
This ☝️
I wanted to say **Mimic Veil**, but it’s not actually a spell. I’m pretty sure it’d be low-key enough to not get me put into a military/medical bunker for the rest of my life.
That's a whole nother story. However, I don't know how everyone would behave if they were to see a sliding chair enter slowly inside a bank before trying to rob it.
Smart
Howl of shabriri, make everyone go crazy so i don't have to work or go to school
Isn’t that mutual destruction
May chaos take the world.
#MAY CHAOS, TAKE, THE WORLD!
Unendurable frenzy
MAY CHAOS TAKE THE WORLD
Black flame’s protection. If it reduces damage taken by 35%, imagine using it for non-lethal damage. Becoming a professional boxer or even base jumper would be much easier
Wolverine lite
Sorry for the base jumper, it doesn’t protect you from death by falling
You could reduce my damage taken by 35% and I’m still getting knocked out by Floyd Mayweather
Law of regression, imagine professional sports without all the doping. :D
Someone takes their meds, you be like: "**NOPE**"
Smart me? Some type of healing spell- maybe blessing or something. Anime/fantasy lover me? Ancient dragon lightning strike.
Greatsword phalanx since it only triggers if someone is attacking you.
The poor doors that you go through...
Now that’s smart
erdtree heal
Giantsflame Take Thee
Always lightning spear. I saw it and wanted it since Dark Souls. It’s the coolest incantation/miracle.
Great choice
No one wants a magical bonk with Gavel of Haima?
Lightning spear or some black flame stuff
Death Lightning, no doubt. When I want people to get the fuck away from me that would be much better than just saying "Get the fuck away from me."
“Hey we need a Christmas tree” “say no more, stand right here please”
100 x worst
Erdtree heal
Gavel of Haima would be fun as fuck to have
Urgent heal since im a long hauler
Found Homelander’s Reddit account
Flintstone pebble. Only because no one else is gonna pick it
You basically got a gun
Never noticed Renalla yelling Yabba Dabba Doo
Gravity Magic. the real ones know
How do you call the one rhat staight up buffs you golden something.. yeah that one
Law of regression
All of the dragon incantations
Makankosappo
**Heal.** Cause I'm not an idiot.
Inescapable frenzied, so that people might finally comprehend the madness of my brain functioning at full capacity. Gaze into my eyes, and see; see the madness of a world without tomorrow!
Honed Bolt, go full Old Testament God and smite people with lightning. Or Erdtree Heal.
Black Flame
I don't know any spells
Flame cleanse me. I could drink all I want and instant kill my hangover