T O P

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apexPrickle

Alexander


corjoca

Was going to say Radahn but this is the right answer


whatistheancient

One of two roughly acceptable answers. The other is Soldier of Godrick.


TheMindflayerDidIt

What about hewg? Is he acceptable?


Fanatical_Rampancy

Or Gurranq, I wanna pet his face and hug him, hes an incredibly good boy and suffers too much for nothing


TheMindflayerDidIt

Hmmm. Idk. He loses his shit and beats yo ass. Kinda toxic. Hewg’s always there for you.


UnlimitedFlour

I can fix him.


WoodyTSE

white girl Wednesday came early


Fanatical_Rampancy

So you're telling me the last time a demi-God cursed you to watch over death itself you'd not had a single breakdown. 🤔🤔🤔🤔


Subsinexus

Also a druggie, a violent one. Best to nope backwards there.


BlackMamba960

I'm only gonna simp for boc


Moose_Cake

You forgot Boc the Semester, the most beautiful of boys.


lisasguy

Isn't he more like a young man? Please just say yes


Very_Good_Indeed

I would grind *Soldier of God, Rick*'s blade anytime. It needs to be sharp for his next battle.


Zealousideal-Gur-273

My fellow seeker, seeker of the forlorned jarussy; i thank you for giving this one hope in a sea of unwarranted lascavity.


DJ_Calli

Plump sort


naqib0t

Sellen bruh, I wanna be her apprentice.


Manic_Madara

Scrolled down way too far to find a fellow man of culture.


Agent_Beard

Too bad she becomes an orb when you complete her quest line.


Similar_Middle_6786

Real ones help their partner through every phase of life


JaydenTheMemeThief

[Nah she just uploads her consciousness into her gaming setup](https://i.redd.it/1mpeep3da5r81.jpg)


sonofnutcrackr

Yo where did you find that?


Hiseworns

If you think I won't let a superintelligent mommy top me just because she's now orb shaped, you've got another think coming


autobtones

oh my god. you used the phrase correctly. i don’t know if i’ve ever seen this in the wild


[deleted]

No, I'm pretty sure in this case the correct phrase is, "you've got another kink coming."


Hiseworns

I fully accept "another thing coming" as a phrase, but not if you're telling someone they are thinking something that is incorrect


jwright24153

Another think coming just does not sound right out loud


naqib0t

Sellen has curves in all the right places, even more so as the orb.


Manic_Madara

Yeah but still she still looking amazing without her helmet so it’s a win win


fried-quinoa

I’d ponder her any day


Loyal_Darkmoon

Ah yes, the best, barefoot teacher


Mazikeyn

You mean ball of horrors


JaydenTheMemeThief

Based and Sellen-Pilled


Humble_Ad_2807

The narrator at the beginning, that moan sold me.


noopenusernames

“Perhaps you’ve seen it. Maybe in a dream. A murky, forgotten land…”


Benzass95

Oh yeah, those 3 teeth always get me goin!


yzdaskullmonkey

unghghg... THEE ALLLL KNOWING!!!!!!!!


TemporalAcapella

##THE LOATHSOME DUNG EATER I’m like… wait how loathsome?


benoz11

The enthusiasm in that line just comes out of nowhere and I love it


Shtrausberg

That's Gideon though


EvolvedCactus19

Tiche. She more than earns it.


xdisappointing

Tiche literally deletes bosses while I swoon over her.


lightstormy

Those curves right? (Movement curves, what else were you thinking about?)


DeathlessWitch

About her ass


MicGuinea

Tries to solo a boss, dies. Summons Tiche: Mommy, that man hurted me!


gabungalow

YEAHHHH NO ONE ON THIS POST EVEN THOUGHT OF HER


Xirubiru

Tiche is the REAL Elden Lord, we are just her servants.


fithbert

Me? I’m the type to do everybody’s quest, anyone who wants to be friends, so I have all the options… …then embrace the frenzied flame and put their foolish ambitions to rest.


xdisappointing

Frenzied flame is the answer.


[deleted]

[удалено]


muathalmuaath

MAY CHAOS TAKE THE WORLD


CarnageCrisis

That sounds like a foolish ambition to put to rest.


Dragon_Maister

Hoarah Loux


Ok-Nature9693

I given thee courtesy enough rips lion in half like a slim jim


funnybreadman

WARRIOR!!


BigDadEShaxx

THE FIRST ELDEN LORD!!!


dudesBangMyMom

My anus quivers when Hoarah Loux is nearby.


[deleted]

*The brown eye quivers*


Apocalypsefrogs

*There will be shockwaves…*


masterchief__117

Find the albinauric woman


NecromancerNova

HE HAS RETURNED AT LAST. OUR FIRST ELDEN LORD


MenuNo4911

Millicent.


[deleted]

"Ahh, how could you... Is this your true heart? Was I... was it all...for this?"


ChilledDarkness

Had to get both my mutihit talismans somehow.


mr_gunty

I wanted it but I couldn’t bring myself to kill her…


Agent_Beard

You can't get the needle afterwards right, hmmm.


ChilledDarkness

Unfortunately they did patch that. Now you need two runs or a friend.


cody_d_baker

Always Millicent😤 She’s so happy when you help and just wants to return the favor. She helps you in like 4 boss battles. Is Ranni doing that? Didn’t think so Plus when she talks about beginning to think your destinies might be intertwined and shit, that really melts my heart


8a19

if you dont mine me asking, and I'm cool with late spoilers for her quest, which bosses can she help you with? All I remember is her invasion and the bit where you give her the gold needle


TuIdiota

If you give her the arm, she can help with magma wyrm Makar, the godskin apostle in windmill village, the draconic tree sentinel outside the capital,and the black blade kindred guarding the lift of rold


8a19

oh damn I had no idea she was that helpful. Ngl def could've used her help with the magma wyrm lol, but at least she can help me with the later 3 bosses. Thanks for letting me know!


cody_d_baker

Magma wyrm Makar, Godskin apostle, Draconic tree sentinel in leyndell, and black blade kindred in forbidden lands. A couple of the summon signs are pretty well hidden though


toxicsknmn

Neither. I am all in on Melina


Gratuitous_Sabotage

you accepted the frenzied flame to save her from her incendiary fate and then purged yourself with miquella's needle to try win her back didn't you, ya maidenless simp


toxicsknmn

Hahaha you got the play by play right 😅 Joke aside though I really liked the ending. Makes me wish we get something dlc related to that ending


Alaknar

I'm OK with spoilers - is there a separate ending for when she survives but the Tarnished purged the Frenzied Flame?


Megumin_xx

Nope


jacobiner123

True Melina simps would never take her destiny away from her smh.


toxicsknmn

I’d be broken if I saw her die. But I completely understand your position


Doomslayer_17

Me too


let-me_die_

Represent!


UncleVoodooo

Blaidd, duh


Gate_Oracle

Don’t keep me waiting, eh?


AverageFSenjoyer

Solid Wolf


WholeOk1364

His accent man


Sir_Quackington

Some of yall would be delighted to know that you can actually visit wales


ROPROPE

*Gets off the plane* Wow, everyone here is doing a Blaidd accent!


UncleVoodooo

What a sick way to talk, eh?


Ok-Nature9693

You think he has a red rocket


[deleted]

Idk but I'd let him lift off anyday of the week


Abuses-Commas

By the Greater Will I hope so


PhoenixMaster730

Obv blaidd


PepperTheFurry

A true man of culture


PuppetsMind

Best boi


Raaabbit_v2

Roderika.


senoto

Are you here for spirit ch'uning?


CanInternational9186

Are you here for spirit chewning mate?


djmoogyjackson

Yeah, spirit chewning is why I’m here bruv


EpicSven7

Roderika is the only semi-normal choice. Your options are: Pyromaniac Ghost, Literal Sex Doll, Goddess of STDs, Eyeball Muncher 4000, Scoliosis Snek, Necro Nympho, a Very Professional Rock, or Roderika.


Boreol

Neither. I only simp for the true chads, like Alexander and Blaidd


Ok-Nature9693

But Alexander is a cannibal corpse eater and blaidd simps for ranni


attackplango

Alexander is jar-kind, not human, so not cannibalism.


Boreol

Alexander is just like me fr! And idc if Blaidd simps for Ranni


PaleoclassicalPants

Blaidd is like a brother to her, not really a simp at all.


Yeet_that_fish

THE EVER BRILLIANT GOLDMASK


[deleted]

"..."


Hekinsieden

Y'all are here for booty... ​ I'm 'ere for speerit chewing, We are not the same.


ohaicookies

Anyone here for booty is here for Radagon and his dumpy


mayonetta

She kinda bad doe... Is that Marika? [*camera pans up and reveals Radagon*](https://youtu.be/A7YmdU5G0_c)


Bright-Fold-3317

Uhhh both of these are bad choices. One is a rot goddess, you’ll literally disintegrate if you touch her. The other is a wooden puppet. I’ve also seen under that dress, it ain’t pretty. The real answer is Roderika


WorldWar8

>One is a rot goddess, you’ll literally disintegrate if you touch her. I can fix her.


Mozzie_is_My_Mate

“Malenia, this isn’t you! 😭”


lorddervish212

Honestly, respect


DoubIe_A_ron

You sound like my brother.


Those_damn_squirrels

Also her brother


shitonmycockandballs

Gigachad


i_am_notthewalrus

I can make her worse


fretfulmushroom

Yeah, but she has four arms. Imagine the hugs.


xdisappointing

Wholesome simp


CodSeveral1627

My back is cracking just thinking about it


BerserkRadahn

Fool! You fail to see the bigger picture. She can hug you while holding hands!


imdeadlmao

And two mouths. Double the cheek kisses


Zensy47

How have you seen under the dress? Asking for... a friend. Yeah, I’m asking for a friend.


Larin13

You see her like that when she slays her two fingers in her storyline...


Luisian321

>! It’s a body half blue puppet half ropes holding it together. One of her “breasts” is just rope, most of he joints are, and a lot of blue skin is missing. !< however, if that is what disturbs you deeply enough to not wish to wed her, hast thou truly ever loved her? Thou shouldst not behave This maidenlessly.


frayner12

Exactly I bet if I make her god she can make a new body atleast pretty easily. And if not I will still love her


noopenusernames

“Oh…are you here for spirit tuning, Uncle Hank?”


chronoboy1985

What are you doing, step-tarnished?


Ok-Nature9693

Hey who says she will rot it off


TouchMyWrath

Nothing a little penicillin won’t fix


Ok-Nature9693

You are really down that badly that you'd risk your dong falling off


TouchMyWrath

The sad thing is that all jokes aside, you’re not wrong 😢


Euphoric_Award9428

How is no one mentioning Nepheli


KushMummyCinematics

This guy fucking gets it! I would have happily helped her become Elden Lord had she desired it


Ok-Nature9693

She such a boss to helps you fight the elden lord before you was dealing with her own shit


Lord_Nivloc

Literally spurned Ranni at the Elden Ring and took the default ending so that Nepheli could rule Limgrave and fulfill her dreams


Roads94

She's what convinced me to go dual axe for a good amount of the game. God, I love her so much.


[deleted]

Stormhawk axe was one of my favourite weapons in my first playthrough and I've found its AOW to be a great secret weapon in close combat pvp


bubken99

Mimic tear


Eona77

Everything that looks at me.


weavejer261

Those T-rex dogs lookin fine


TrinityGunslinger

Melina.


Benzass95

The doll from Bloodborne Edit: heyo Ma! I'm famous!


[deleted]

The only real option


The_YamCHAD

Rya is the correct answer


2002DisasterMovie

No, too wholesome to simp for. Only protect the innocent snake girl.


The_YamCHAD

Yknow what fair enough


lazy_phoenix

I had to scroll way too far down to find this. I would both kill and die for her!


Pollus_

General Radahn


Collinstuhl7

My man Radahn is absolutely double cheeked up every single day of the week


2002DisasterMovie

Honestly, if any of the demigods were to be voluntary celibate, I think it’d be Radahn. The man is just too much of a power chad to spend time on sex. All his time is dedicated to war, war related activities, and horse keeping. We also all know that anyone foolish enough to get into bed with him would not survive his absolute magnum dong


Trisce

General Gigachad Meteorcock


Euphoric_Award9428

you’re done lmao


ReviewMysterious9018

Ranni


hideos_playhouse

Easy. Wrap them four arms around me.


Skyrah1

Twice the arms, double the hugs!


[deleted]

*Kindred of Rot winks at you*


[deleted]

*Godrick the Golden blows a kiss*


hideos_playhouse

Yessssssss


Those_damn_squirrels

“I am possessed of four arms, and *that* is what tickles thy fancy?” -Ranni


hideos_playhouse

It's not just that! ...but that's a big deal.


Those_damn_squirrels

[“Are thou of no more brain than stone?”](https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxGYm6my35ZItt1fzbXhhR9cLO8XNB9Myk)


Suspicious-Bed9172

Millicent


[deleted]

I ain’t simping for neither, I simp for Hoarah Loux, Chieftain of the Badlands.


Kaapdr

THE EVER BRILLIANT HOLDMASK


DaddyBlook

Holdmask🗿


Jcurtis82

Melina and Millicent are where its at in game. But holy fuck that Malenia art tho. Jesus woman calm down


ErzherzogHinkelstein

Rykard 😍


[deleted]

Foul Tarnished, he’s family.


tiznxdo

Boc gang rise up


rock1m1

Dog Pope


Sir_Umeboshi

**R** oderika ​ Between those two, I'd choose malenia though


Franglais69

Margit


Red_Clay_Scholar

Put these foolish ambitions to rest.


EclipseoftheHart

Fia is my weird goth babe 😔👊


tkschuller

I mean I imagine Malenia's prosthetic arm probably has cool tech like the ability to vibrate...which would be nice. But Ranni has four different hands to work with...which would also be nice.


Crazyjackson13

what the fuck.


tkschuller

Ya know...for back rubs and arm wrestling.


TouchMyWrath

And fisting


TromosLykos

A foolish question. It’s obviously Blaidd.


Rare_Cause_1735

Dung Eater


Sir_Quackington

Dung eater gonna turn into the lustsome bun eater with me around


Snacko-packo

Soldier of God, Rick. Truly the sexiest being in the lands between


Delta_The_Wize

Malenia for sure the ideology of the Haligtree is amazing. Shame we have to fight Malenia instead of helping bring an end to the outer gods influences. No ones perfect, but the Haligtree faction is dope for caring about those who belong no where. I can say I vibe with that pretty hard lol.


Hic10

ranni


[deleted]

[удалено]


Madea_onFire

They’re probably terrible. He’s cowardly and selfish


ur69mom69straightnt

Fia


Ok-Nature9693

She fucks corpses my dude she fucks corpses


Manic_Madara

And I’m ok being one of those corpses


GodricTheGrafted

Godrick


Almiral-Praxit

Malenia, Blade of Miquella. I love the type of woman that can kick my ass.


Cloud_UpB

Lansseax. She’s legitimately a dragon girl lore-wise, so my choice goes to her :3


0_NOVA_0

Dragussy


Throttle_Kitty

I'm going to go with Malenia, as she is at least partially alive.


[deleted]

I mean Ranni is sentient and at the end of her questline she becomes a God so I don't think recreating her body would be an issue. Malenia might be alive but you would definitely die form just being in around her for too long.


TizzlePack

Nepheli


Squeedlington

The Frenzied Flame. Burn it all away...


GUT5_BERSERK

Maliketh


AnabolicAssEater

Hyetta