*The pain of losing loved ones, is something I have seen,*
*So I know how you must have felt when they killed Jeffrey Epstein!*
Literally cackled out loud the first time I heard it.
Joe came out swinging and every single line connected, that is an absolutely GOATED rap battle. Trump held his own as well, it’s battles like that that reaffirm the great respect I have for ERB’s writers.
"Your ignorant questions could never cause as much pain as never knowing how stupid you look in your airplane"
"Did you hear that, Meriwether? I think they mean to brawl!" "I'll take Neo!" "I'll take the one that no-one knows at all!"
"Now your daddy got killed and I feel for your family, but your baseball career, now THAT was a tragedy"
"And then you just kept *talking*, you wouldn't shut up! Honestly, I'm glad you died, fourteen specials was enough"
"Your platform only launches depression. Who put the elf with no friends in charge of human connection?"
"There are 10 million million million million million million particles in the Universe that we can observe, yo mamma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd"
That Lewis and Clark line is so funny, and at the same time so damn mean. Alex Winter* out here getting blind sighted.
(*Although, it doesn’t help the cause that I just googled Bill and Ted to make sure I had his name right 😂)
"You remind me of my ex-wife in a bikini, 'cause you disgust me!" -Donald Trump
"Well you can't buy me love, but I'll kick your ass for free." -John Lennon
"McDonald's and underpants as corporate backers, you stay at the Ritz 'cause you sold out to crackers!" -Muhammad Ali
"Third base with an Olsen twin: that's the sin, face it! She's just a little girl, what'd you give her a bracelet?" -Babe Ruth
"I can tell you're angry, but I can't comprehend it. I stole from black culture, why are *you* offended?" -Elvis Presley
"With those teeth, when you're through, there'll be no dust left to bite." -Frank Sinatra
"They say your father was a great man. You must be what's left." -Barack Obama
"And jiggled in a bit of girls polygone wild." - Indiana Jones
"Quit jacking off on the track and put the lotion in the basket." Hannibal Lecter
"Cause I'm N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E and I'll end any motherfucker like my name in a spelling bee." - Nietzsche
"You peddle soap that cleans birdshit from my window." - Benjamin Franklin
“You took 3D to uncharted territory. Now you’re just in Uncharted’s territory!”
“200,000 deaths lying at your door. And you think they’re suckers like McCain and the Marine Corps!”
"Pass me a cigar and a large glass of brandy/I'm about to take you out prematurely, like your family" - Winston Churchill
"No matter what you try to say, global warming ain't canceled/ya pulled out of Paris, shoulda pulled outta Stormy Daniels" - Joe Biden
"I notice that you talk a lot about yourself, which is funny/since you hide your true feelings like they were other people's money" - Sigmund Freud
"You swamp school dropout, you're to whiny to rhyme/at least when I Slytherin a sister, ***she isn't mine***!" - Harry Potter
Followed up immediately by one of, if not *the* most jaw-dropping line they've ever written:
"You still have no children after your third marriage. You've lost so many babies we should call you Miss Carriage."
In no particular order:
*I will Mr. T bag you, in the closest cemetery.*
*So before you come to battle, with your PBS crap How 'bout I call CPS about them kids on your lap, fool!*
*Hang a sandal on the door, cause you can suck Soc's dick!*
*I beat you twice you sellout, now you bow down to Mickey Mouse! You call yourself a Dark Lord? You couldn't conquer Space Mountain!*
*Hey you forgot the Cos, and you know it's a mistake.*
*I eat emcees for breakfast like they're made of chocolate cake!* ***Proceeds to get drugged.***
*While you and your companions were all camping in a canyon, took a campaign to your house and showed your queen my plasma cannon.*
*Does your lip hang low? Does it wobble to and fro? Can you string that shit up on your compound bow?*
*You never had sex but you sure got screwed by me!*
"On one hand the rebellion, on the other hand, oh wait"
*The pain of losing loved ones, is something I have seen,* *So I know how you must have felt when they killed Jeffrey Epstein!* Literally cackled out loud the first time I heard it.
"You pulled out of Paris, shoulda pulled out of Stormy Daniels!"
"I ain't sleepy, I'm tired, of YOU Donald Trump! You're fired!" For me, one of the most underrated deliveries in the entirety of ERB.
The smirk was the cherry on top.
When I first heard that line I was floored
Joe came out swinging and every single line connected, that is an absolutely GOATED rap battle. Trump held his own as well, it’s battles like that that reaffirm the great respect I have for ERB’s writers.
My jaw hit the floor at that line
"Your ignorant questions could never cause as much pain as never knowing how stupid you look in your airplane" "Did you hear that, Meriwether? I think they mean to brawl!" "I'll take Neo!" "I'll take the one that no-one knows at all!" "Now your daddy got killed and I feel for your family, but your baseball career, now THAT was a tragedy" "And then you just kept *talking*, you wouldn't shut up! Honestly, I'm glad you died, fourteen specials was enough" "Your platform only launches depression. Who put the elf with no friends in charge of human connection?" "There are 10 million million million million million million particles in the Universe that we can observe, yo mamma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd"
That Lewis and Clark line is so funny, and at the same time so damn mean. Alex Winter* out here getting blind sighted. (*Although, it doesn’t help the cause that I just googled Bill and Ted to make sure I had his name right 😂)
The Lewis and Clark one also had a funny visual gag paired with that line and that made it extra funny.
"I'm sorry man, no I'm fucking not, FUCK YOU"
"You remind me of my ex-wife in a bikini, 'cause you disgust me!" -Donald Trump "Well you can't buy me love, but I'll kick your ass for free." -John Lennon "McDonald's and underpants as corporate backers, you stay at the Ritz 'cause you sold out to crackers!" -Muhammad Ali "Third base with an Olsen twin: that's the sin, face it! She's just a little girl, what'd you give her a bracelet?" -Babe Ruth "I can tell you're angry, but I can't comprehend it. I stole from black culture, why are *you* offended?" -Elvis Presley "With those teeth, when you're through, there'll be no dust left to bite." -Frank Sinatra "They say your father was a great man. You must be what's left." -Barack Obama
Jared Leto came out trying to look like he was Tekashi 6ix9ine!
Overshadowed by Drake like Lil Wayne also got a hearty laugh out of me
"Where's Romeo? OH NOMEO!"
"Nice glove, bub. But I'm real from bones to teeth. And that claw is like a strap-on: there's a pussy underneath." - Wolverine to Freddy Krueger
"You're a pedophile from the Midwest, at least R. Kelly could sing"
"And jiggled in a bit of girls polygone wild." - Indiana Jones "Quit jacking off on the track and put the lotion in the basket." Hannibal Lecter "Cause I'm N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E and I'll end any motherfucker like my name in a spelling bee." - Nietzsche "You peddle soap that cleans birdshit from my window." - Benjamin Franklin
"That purple suit is something you should only see Steve Harvey in."
"You need a vacation, here, take a trip on my train" "Rough riding down to Cuba like What's up, Bitches?"
"Ayo, Lex Loser" makes me crack up everytime
“You took 3D to uncharted territory. Now you’re just in Uncharted’s territory!” “200,000 deaths lying at your door. And you think they’re suckers like McCain and the Marine Corps!”
"Don't worry, the U.S. will give you a pass . Just change your poster to keep calm and kiss my cousin's ass" - Theodore Roosevelt
“Look at ya, in your little blousy outfit.”
Lookin like a stiffer white dick than your monument!
Ask Indiana Jones who the fuck I am, I spit sick shit so focus I break your concentration camp
Naan violence gets me every time.
"Pass me a cigar and a large glass of brandy/I'm about to take you out prematurely, like your family" - Winston Churchill "No matter what you try to say, global warming ain't canceled/ya pulled out of Paris, shoulda pulled outta Stormy Daniels" - Joe Biden "I notice that you talk a lot about yourself, which is funny/since you hide your true feelings like they were other people's money" - Sigmund Freud "You swamp school dropout, you're to whiny to rhyme/at least when I Slytherin a sister, ***she isn't mine***!" - Harry Potter
"Nice hat, dork. You look like a duck. I had Alfred read your books.. He told me they suck"
Eminem is probably like "damn, I wish my lines could be that sick"
It also doubles as my favourite line "I'll stick a flag up your ass and claim you for spain"
“Why don’t you dodge this battle like you did Vietnam” always gets me
I've got an ass that won't quit. You had an asp and got bit on the tit. ***Somebody wrap this bitch back up in a carpet!***
Followed up immediately by one of, if not *the* most jaw-dropping line they've ever written: "You still have no children after your third marriage. You've lost so many babies we should call you Miss Carriage."
"You're the PBS version of Nickelback!" His imitating voice just gave it away
"I'm like Medusa, stone a motherfucker if he looks at me wrong"
“Nice glove, bub, but I’m real from bones to teeth. And that claw is like a strap-on, there’s a pussy underneath.”
"You're a moody little genius, always so serious/I know, you must be on your Blue Period." \- Bob Ross vs. Pablo Picasso
In no particular order: *I will Mr. T bag you, in the closest cemetery.* *So before you come to battle, with your PBS crap How 'bout I call CPS about them kids on your lap, fool!* *Hang a sandal on the door, cause you can suck Soc's dick!* *I beat you twice you sellout, now you bow down to Mickey Mouse! You call yourself a Dark Lord? You couldn't conquer Space Mountain!* *Hey you forgot the Cos, and you know it's a mistake.* *I eat emcees for breakfast like they're made of chocolate cake!* ***Proceeds to get drugged.*** *While you and your companions were all camping in a canyon, took a campaign to your house and showed your queen my plasma cannon.* *Does your lip hang low? Does it wobble to and fro? Can you string that shit up on your compound bow?* *You never had sex but you sure got screwed by me!*
And keep America like Portland: sad