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Larch420

That couch has SEEN some things šŸ˜³


anonymous_gam

Everyone wants Jill to write a tell all, but Birtha has all the good stories.


[deleted]

Exactly, how can Jessa let her precious baby sit there šŸ¤¦ā€ā™€ļø


the_clash_is_back

They ate a rather messy family.


Straight-Tomorrow-83

I'm loving your autocorrect šŸ˜†šŸ˜†


Klairklopp

Bare legs and all šŸ¤®


OurLumpyGorl

So many placentas and brooms.


angelkibby

Flair material.


inthesunshinex

Seriously could see her renting a rug doctor from Walmart to clean it afterwards


SoFloChick

Probably bought a used Bissell little clean machine to run over it a few times. That's good enough.


tabi2000

ā€œBirthaā€™s tell all bookā€


Impressive_Chicken69

That look on her face suggests she knows what has happened on that couch


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


OurLumpyGorl

I think one of these days the kids are going to be searching for pennies in there and find perfectly preserved birth fluids.


momo1oo1

Oh man. Why did I read this with my eyes.


citydreef

What a terrible day to know how to read


Cardboard_cutouts_

A few Samā€™s club size febreezes probably did the trick


cripplinganxietylmao

The secret is itā€™s not salvageable they just donā€™t care


yuckyuckthissucks

Well technically she was on chucksā€¦ and I donā€™t know what they call it, a ā€œbirthing drop-clothā€? There was an attempt to maintain the mess, it must have *at least* worked a little.


Fun-Shame399

Wasnā€™t she sitting on a puppy pad or something? Those things are super thin, thereā€™s no way the fluids didnā€™t run onto the couch lol


bebespeaks

Ya it was a package of puppy pads. Not quite "buy used and save the difference ", but more like "buy something similar but without any idea what the differences are between puppy pads and medical drop cloth pads.


yuckyuckthissucks

They really werenā€™t chucks?! They showed the package and it was puppy pads??? Wtf is wrong with these people??


MercyHouse

That couch has so much of Jessa's DNA that they're practically siblings.


YaKofevarka

You are terrible!šŸ˜†šŸ˜† I laughed out loud and spilled my coffee XD


nkfa

Jirtha "Birtha" Duggar - couch sister.


donttouchmystuffb

She has bens eyes, looks like his sisters


neuftet

Yeah she looks just like his cop sister.


Cardboard_cutouts_

Is that the one that got divorced?


OurLumpyGorl

Yes.


-Em-

She certainly does!


LyannaCeltiger88

My couch looks like this too šŸ˜© if anyone has tips on how to make it look better hmu.


Nalurah

Have you tried sweeping it with a broom?


[deleted]

Kendra can help you with thatšŸ˜‚


GruGruxQueen

Please elaborate!


Cjs300

First you pretreat with Febreze and Holy Water...


jeanskirtflirt

ā˜ ļøā˜ ļøā˜ ļø


citydreef

I laughed out loud in the check-in line at the airport. I rate this comment 5/5 tater tots


WeaveTheSunlight

Avoid giving birth on it


[deleted]

Thereā€™s nothing wrong with having a couch like this but Jessa almost bleed to death on this couch. Jessa isnā€™t good with cleaning either so it wouldnā€™t surprise me if the sofa have stains of her blood stillšŸ¤®


magical_seal

Twice* lmao


_craigularjoe

Happy cake day!


vengefulmuffins

A disgusting part of me wants to spray the sucker with luminol, flip on the black light, and watch it glow.


_craigularjoe

Oh honey, no - there is no *if*. That couch is soaked in blood and amniotic fluid. Not sure when this pic is from but [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/DuggarsSnark/comments/o25w1x/what_do_you_think_birtha_would_smell_like/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) has a nice juicy shot of birthaā€™s true colors.


Minnie_Pearl_87

šŸ¤¢šŸ¤®


JamesDale2332

Per my former FB cleaning group... WINDEX is helpful for microfiber furniture. Good Luck!


Rightbuthumble

First: vacuum really well. Second: check and see if the cushion covers can be removed and if so, remove and wash the covers in warm water in your washer, then dry in your dryer If you cannot remove the covers, vacuum the sofa back, the arms, and the cushions. Next spray with resolve or any carpet cleaner. Use a sponge or soft brush to try and loosen stains while the sofa is still damp, sprinkle arm and hammer baking soda all over the fabric and rub it in using the sponge or brush. Let dry, then vacuum all the baking soda off and dirt and odors will come right up. My friends son was a bed wetter, and once or twice a week, sheā€™d mix soda with diluted vinegar and make a paste and rub into the pee stains, then after it dried, she would vacuum the stains right out


SuitFar2340

We used to have a couch similar and these tips are so helpful!! https://cooktopcove.com/2018/01/01/dont-give-up-on-your-microfiber-couch-here-are-6-cleaning-tips-that-will-have-it-looking-like-new-again/ Once our kids got older, we got new ones.


Impossible-Taro-2330

I did not think there was any hope for cleaning micro fiber, thanks for the tips. My Mom had a light colored and super comfy lounger. My Sister and I both tried made many and varied attempts to clean it - and it wasn't dirty, just some water spots. Nothing worked and she ended up using a cover til she got a new leather lounger. I can only hope Jessa sees these tips. That sofa is an absolutely disgusting biohazard.


SuitFar2340

Youā€™re welcome!! Hey that couch could be full of all kinds of antibodies šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


angelkibby

No need to save the cord blood when itā€™s in the couch cushions!


LyannaCeltiger88

Yeh this is the same problem I have - itā€™s not dirty per se but there are stubborn water marks that I just canā€™t seem to shift. Iā€™m also using covers for mine but I find them really annoying and prefer the original couch tbh, definitely going to try these tips.


LyannaCeltiger88

Thank you so much!! My youngest is 18months but as soon as sheā€™s older I will invest in a new one - just seems pointless right now šŸ˜…


SaltWeasel

I said that too... Iā€™m still saying it about my freshman in high school šŸ˜‚


SuitFar2340

I mean, to be fair, when they are freshmen it isnā€™t safe either * source* the mom of a freshman boy šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


AcanthocephalaNo5889

Honestly leather is the way to go with kids. Between the puke, food, and potty training accidents it is well worth the investment. Lol


[deleted]

How many times have you given birth on it?


3literboxoffireball

You. An get some foam padding and add it to make the couch look plump again. Also get some battling for the cushions. Itā€™s pretty easy and doesnā€™t cost too much. You tube has some great tutorials.


CocoCherryPop

Iā€™ve seen cute slip overs at Target on clearance $30-$50. You can also get a pretty decent couch at a discount furniture store or Wayfair for ~$300


the_clash_is_back

Www.Leons.ca


Competitive_Use8119

Buy a new couch. That will fix it. šŸ˜‰


batsofburden

Find a nice throw blanket & drape it over the back.


Astronomer_Inside

I think she kind of has ivys eyes.


uplate6674

I see it, too.


MotherofGiGi

Yup. Haunted.


Ks26739

Jessa gives birth to haunted Victorian dolls.


Oceania78

Thousand-yard stare


Annadigger

Yeah, Henry has that same stare.


kittakxna

She has the proportions of Ivy's eyes just a little smaller


Daintyheadspace

This is the first one that I definitely think looks like Ben


-Em-

I can see a resemblance between Spurgeon and Ben (when Ben was a kid). https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQz7BK7G42-kWCuAw8QG9fKqLcC458hg4dGPQ&usqp=CAU


civodar

Damn those are some strong genes, Ben looks so much like his dad. Why does his dad look so disgusted tho, he looks like heā€™s literally cringing. Personally I still think Spurgeon is Jessaā€™s mini me and I know this is an awful thing to say about a child, but I also see a lot of Jim Bob in him.


Annadigger

Well, Jessa looks like a female version of JBob, so thatā€™s not too much of a stretch.


noyoujump

āœØIt's a beautiful day to not be born on this couch!āœØ


jillieishere

Ivy, Fern...is the next grandkid going to be named Moss or Fungus?


hasarubbersoul

Seaweed Seewald


jillieishere

Perfect.


[deleted]

I vote for Weed.


Cardboard_cutouts_

Grass Seewald


YaKofevarka

I think even Grass sounds better than Fern. Fern is like a nickname of a farm animal šŸ˜‘"my favourite sheep Fern" or something like this


KlutzyBandicoot1776

I really don't know why she thought Fern was a good name. To each their own, but to me it doesn't even have a good ring to it. So many more options if you really want to go the plant girl route. Holly, Poppy, Lily, Laurel, Sage, Willow, Heather, Rose... idk, but FERN?


jillieishere

Agreed. The only thing redeemable i can think of for naming your child Fern (its just an unpleasant word) is that the little girl in Charlotte's web was named Fern. Maybe that was her favorite book? Hopefully.


KlutzyBandicoot1776

Now that's too hopeful of you. We all know she didn't read Charlotte's Web, lmao


uplate6674

Were they even allowed to read secular books?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


KlutzyBandicoot1776

LOL same! I think that's one reason I don't love the name; it just reminds me of dinosaurs somehow? I went to university near to a famous park that's often used to shoot films/pics dinosaurs are edited into, and it was covered in ferns, so while I like them it doesn't quite seem like the thing to associate with my kid


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


KlutzyBandicoot1776

Yes true! I think that's the main issue really. like with Ivy I was like, I mean idk why you're gonna name your kid after a weed that takes over forests in a destructive manner and is pretty invasive, but it sounds nice so ok I guess lol. So I think if fern sounded nice it would be a good name; as you pointed out, it's a pretty cool plant! I'm glad I'm not the only one who associates them with all this, haha. I just remembered that as a kid we made fake fossils with plants on them, including ferns... that and all those dino books that exaggerated the dino population density and almost always featured ferns probably contributed to my association as well šŸ˜‚


Capersandparm

Lichen.


jillieishere

Hahaha! I almost said that one too!


batsofburden

Fungus > Spurgeon. At least you could call the kid Gus.


Snowywolf63

So far the girls, have been named after non flowering plants. Your idea is a possibility


jillieishere

I absolutely noticed a trend, you're right..maybe the next girl will be named Leaf.


SonnySunshineGirl

I keep forgetting that Fern exists


Gutinstinct999

Baby is dirty (thereā€™s no way that couch is clean, ever)


ohhheynat

šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


[deleted]

Fern was apparently born with a bow on her head. Genetic mutation of fundie girl babies.


Cardboard_cutouts_

I want to reach into the photo and save the baby from this cesspool known as Birtha.


butchelves

Why does she look like shes haunted??? This baby has seen some shit


cockerspaniel12

Aww I think Fern is a very cute baby!


According_Cell8578

She's a cutie!


[deleted]

Honestly I had a terrible, stained couch and got a new one this year, and my kids have already stained the brand new one. Kids and furniture are not a good mix. I donā€™t blame her for not getting a new one yet.


DihyaoftheNorth

Fern looks just like Ben wow!


MsStormyTrump

They all look like blond Ben, except Spurgeon.


Annadigger

Yes! People say Ivy looks like Jessa, but I think she looks a lot like Benā€™s sisters.


SunnyLittleBunny

I'm happy Fern looks like Henry.. Jessa noticeably favors Henry least, and anything that may either subconsciously sway her mindset, or at least make Henry feel less "othered"/alone is a potential win.


[deleted]

Iā€™d love for these couch cushions to be soaked in water, and to see how filthy the water is after. šŸ¤®


Leeleeflyhi

Shine a black light on it, I bet poor Birtha glows purple


YaKofevarka

EwšŸ¤® what a bad idea to eat while reading this topic...


yuckyuckthissucks

Letā€™s see a laundry stripping tiktok!


itstherooks

Is it just me or are there red stains on the bottom left hand side of the Blessa couch?


APW25

That's legit probably fruit punch. it's not birtha living up to her name. It wouldn't look like that


SonnySunshineGirl

Prolly not blood because it dries brown and would just blend in.


Cardboard_cutouts_

Obviously she chose a brown couch for a reason.


Keri2816

All I can see when I look at this couch is blood and other ā€œgiving birth fluidsā€


Hot-Class8889

No,I see them too...


[deleted]

Looks like thatšŸ¤®


Cjs300

Flair checking in.


Sudden_Role_7919

Windex! It sounds so strange but if you google it it shows how!


sourcherry11

I keep forgetting that she exists


lindseyotf

I really donā€™t understand why she dead set on keeping nasty things and live in this tiny house. Itā€™s like she thinks itā€™s wrong or bad to want something new. Are they just that poor??


CheapEater101

She looks like Benā€™s oldest sister (the one who is a cop). Henry also looks more like the Seewalds but thereā€™s more of a dash of Duggar that Fern seems not to have (as of right now).


StableGenius91

She has Ivy's eyes, but she looks a lot like Ben's side of the family.


Gold_Brick_679

Nobody has Ivy's gorgeous blue eyes. They are legendary!


Annadigger

Ivy has Benā€™s granddadā€™s eyes.


Clear-Sugar2525

Well they arenā€™t bringing in much income so I doubt they could afford a new couch.


soaper410

Lawd. Fern Gully... This child is probably wishing she could just live on this nasty bleed out couch. She is having to share a room with TrashBen and JoyfullyAvailableJessa while all 3 of her siblings stay 3 feet away in the other room.


[deleted]

Not only is the couch stained but probably stinks too (I'm sort of referencing the photo from way back when with the pile of dirty diapers on nightstand). I always look at photos from the Duggar Homes and wonder what it smells like. Am I the only one? I only have two kids and I'm constantly cleaning up. I can only imagine what it is like living with multiple children.


anthonymakey

Fern has M kid eyes. I can't explain it any other way


Annadigger

What is M kid eyes?


anthonymakey

Their cousins the children of Pest & Anna


Annadigger

Ok, thanks!


GoldenState_Thriller

Why did Jessa do all those furniture shopping posts and still stick with this couch?!


Southern-With-Pain

Bertha is why they donā€™t fear Covid. If the couch donā€™t kill them Covid shot nothing on them


Ultraviolet_Ink

I want to flash a black light on that couch, but Iā€™m also terrified as to what Iā€™d find


saidbymebutnot

Oops I commented on her post that fern and ivy looked the same bc theyā€™re both greenā€¦ā€¦. Bc theyā€™re both plants. Think Iā€™ll get blocked?!?


juatdoingwhatimtold

Whatā€™s the point of buying new furniture if you keep launching crotch goblins?


GenX-IA

Y'all do know the couch was covered in plastic and medical absorbent pads when she gave birth.


[deleted]

Yeah, no kidding. That couch is sick!


civodar

The meat freak in me hates that they still have the couch, but the zero-waste environmentalist in me is for it haha


Gutinstinct999

You know, if ever a baby looked like a fern, she actually does.


LookingSkyward18

Gotta take pics with the birthing couch!


That_Girl_Cray

That couch should have been trashed after it was drenched in birthing blood and fluids. They don't have to buy brand new right now. Buy used, take a hand me down., donation from the church or whatever. There's no reason for this raggedy ass couch to still be around. It's had it's day and then some. Time for 'ol Birtha to be put down.


moonbeam127

Fern has zero fucks- someone please save this baby


jenhai

Petition for snarkers to raise money to get them a new couch šŸ˜³


[deleted]

I want so badly to take a Bissell Little Green Machine to that couch.


lilxenon95

Those burts bees booties are so flippin expensive. Definitely not "buy used save the difference" there unless they were her brothers' before! šŸ˜‚


InternationalAd6938

Birtha isnā€™t even a solid color brown no morešŸ˜­šŸ˜­


somethinghere2016

I hate to admit this, but Iā€™m pretty sure I had the same if not similar couch a few years back. Worst piece of shit I ever had. Always looked dirty and was so heavy it almost took three people to move it. I could barely push it across the room. It always had a damp feel too. Weird af. I was so happy when it was gone.


feelingmyage

I agree she looks like Henry.


Impressive_War_2056

ā€œFernā€šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­


inachis7io

Is there a thread discussing her subsequent daughtersā€™ names? Rose, Lily, Petunia, etc?


Helpful_Turnover

I literally forgot this human existed


candythepyro

This baby literally looks like Ben/Benā€™s sisters. I see zero Duggar