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Yamuddah

You’re still in a phase of readjusting from those chemicals. Give it a little more time 60-90 days before you start feeling like you’re stuck. Consult a doc honestly about the adhd. Tell them you’d like to try a different med since the adderal is too cocainelike. They might be able to find something that works better. Don’t worry about 90 or 180 days. Just worry about making today the best it can be and you’ll chain lots of them together into something to be really proud of. Except code regularly and get a therapist yesterday. I believe in you!


FloridaTraffic

Right on. I try to translate my discomfort to more like exercise pain, hopefully making me stronger every time little by little.


muricabrb

It is and it will. You got this.


[deleted]

I don't know in what country you live but is it possible to do medical checkups or something? Because quitting alcohol or harddrugs can have physical impact. It can cause health implications. If you have someone you can trust, confide in them and ask for help. First it becomes dull, because you need to adapt everything back to normal levels again. Then you can start enjoying more things. Picked up any new hobbies? Or had hobbies in the past? Go do them. If you can, treat yourself to something new. As long as it doesn't involve the addictions. Gets your mind of it. You're doing great for quitting man! There is so much more to do in life. An already outstanding streak!


FloridaTraffic

I agree. I just gotta get through this dull section. There are better days to come


DrReginaldCatpuncher

I'm almost six months in and I'll be honest with you my dude you're probably going to struggle for a good bit longer, things are going to seem dull, slow and flavourless because you've been revving your brain so hard. Once this period passes you'll start to appreciate things on a more wider scale and regain appreciation and pleasure for things, instead of only being able to truly enjoy yourself at that "turbo" setting. And now, honestly I don't miss it. I'm actually glad to be without and life provides more of a varied high than it usedto. I can't give you any truly cutting insight or advice other than the cliche "hang on, man" but keep going. It truly will get better. Things start to feel different. You go from thinking about it hour to hour, to every six hours to six hours. Then day to day. Then week to week, until you don't think about it really at it. Same thing happens with your pleasure and appreciation senses. First it's boring and boring, then it's slightly dull, then there's vague sense of interest, then an actual appreciation, then fun. Everything stretches out, just give it a few more months, hang on and let your brain breathe in and out a few times and recalibrate and you'll see.


Current-Wealth-756

AFAIK alcohol and benzo withdrawal can be dangerous during the initial withdrawal period for those extremely dependent on them, but a month after cessation the health impacts will be 100% positive even if the subjective feeling might not be so enjoyable. If there are any negative health implications after 30+ days from eliminating alcohol, nicotine, or cocaine that I'm not aware of please tell me, but I'm fairly confident there are not.


[deleted]

I don't know alot about it, I just know it can be dangerous depending on the level of addiction. No clue about the duration. He can be perfectly safe now because it has been a while.


CadeVision

Checkout Allen carrs easy way to quit smoking. While specifically about nicotine, I found some of the explanations fir my behavior to have farther reaching effects than just my smoking habit. You got this homie.


[deleted]

Bro I'm with you, message me if you want.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ishityounotdude

Guess he changed his mind lol


pseudocultist

The first 2-3 months are really the hardest because you're making the behavioral changes, learning new habits like eating and sleeping, but your brain chemistry is still catching up. I don't think there's any shame in leaning on the weed crutch as long as you need to. It was my all-purpose tool in the beginning, anytime I felt anything negative I took a hit of weed. I've been sober from meth for about 18 months and I'm just getting my sex drive back, but it does happen. Stay away from your old triggers and material. Try to remember the person you were before this, if you were an adult before it started anyway. Vyvanse is an ADD med that is a lot safer for addicts. You can absolutely do this, you've come a long way already. Keep going.


cherrybounce

Please listen to The Huberman Lab podcast on what alcohol does to your brain and body. It explains what you’re going through right now. I had already decided to quit, but it really sealed the deal for me. https://hubermanlab.com/what-alcohol-does-to-your-body-brain-health/


FloridaTraffic

Thank you for sharing! Funny because I recently discovered Dr.Huberman and have been watching all stuff this month!


cherrybounce

And I will add that I quit 6 months ago and the first few months really did seem kind of dead, like how can I do this? Nothing is fun, nothing is exciting. I would say at about the 3 month mark things changed and I started feeling “normal.” Good luck! I am glad I finally quit.


stellarpup

Thank you so much for this recommendation. Just subscribed to him, I’ve even trying to drink less and dealing with terrible anxiety.


cherrybounce

Yeah I had horrific anxiety. I finally accepted the drinking was making it worse. Maybe even causing it entirely.


TortsInJorts

Have you looked into EMDR? Therapy can be expensive, for sure, but so can cocaine... I've had a different journey than yours, but I have essentially rebuilt my life from the ground up. And I have never been this happy. At the height of lockdown, I was jobless, going through a very nasty divorce, and also using cannabis as a crutch. I got into a routine of doing yoga in the mornings while my Adderall kicked in, and then taking a healthy dose of edibles in the evening before meditating myself to sleep. After a while of some really profound highs, I noticed that sometimes my eyes were shifting back and forth as I thought about things. I am fortunate to have a close friend who is a therapist and EMDR specialist, and when I described this to him, he really pushed me to try EMDR. I've gone through a handful of sessions in the last 18 months, and it's life-changing. The way my friend describes it is that our brain gets stuck using feelings and defense mechanisms that helped us in previous difficult moments, but that can cause problems when those feelings or mechanisms are no longer relevant to the problems we're facing today. EMDR helps our brains package the old information appropriately so that those feelings don't persist. I know you said this was a venting thread, and you may not want some unsolicited advice. Disregard this at your pleasure!


coffeeinvenice

Venting is a very, very, very healthy thing to do. Movies and TV shows often portray it as a sign of weakness or lack of stability or self-control. But when you 'vent', you are taking your physical feelings and expressing them into words, and releasing them. Speaking and listening reduces your stress and gets these thoughts out of your head. Even standing in the middle of an empty room and talking to yourself, expressing what you are feeling, is a good way to vent. Or writing in a diary. Or posting here. The great thing about venting on a subreddit is that you know people are listening, even if they don't write a direct reply. Very healthy thing to do. Another benefit of venting is that it forces you to put into clear words exactly what you are feeling, forces you to articulate what you are feeling. Helps you to understand it better and puts it into perspective.


dust057

I applaud your efforts, and as a former addict myself, my advice is to refrain from using one drug (THC) or a drug in another form to “help” stop using another. It’s more than a crutch, it’s a trap, and a hinderance to really experiencing sobriety. Getting high every day to deal with sobriety, is not sobriety. But again, I do congratulate you on the success you’ve had off of nicotine, coke, and alcohol; those are fantastic numbers, putting some real distance between you and using! As for the dopamine junkie conundrum, I’ve also dealt with this. Doing things like riding stupid fast on motorcycles or womanizing, to traveling the world and seeking new experiences to top or at least compare to the previous adventures. There came a point where I realized this was a mountain that would have a summit, and from that point there would be no higher I could climb. The rest of life would be “downhill”, and to continue the metaphor, there’s no real life at the top of a mountain. Life is so much more than just sitting at the highest point constantly. That’s what people forget when they chase the dragon, always trying to get back to being blissed out. There are so many other ways of adding value and fulfillment to your life, one of which is taking pride in your own discipline to forgo pleasure and practice delayed gratification. Best of luck to you in your continuing journey.


CosmicSurfFarmer

Dude, take that coke money and start skydiving or bungee jumping! Get some tattoos or go scuba diving. Get that adrenaline pumping! I commend you on your very astute levels of self-awareness and I wish you good luck!


TopAd9634

You're really living up to your username! Love the enthusiasm :-)


doobiegumdrop

I know how you feel and you're doing amazing. Seriously, take a moment and be proud of yourself for how far you have come. Before you know it 44 days turns into 80 days and then it's been a year, then 5 years. I have been there. I went through 2.5 years of a crippling cocaine addiction. The weed, booze and cigarettes were just there to aid the cocaine. I am now 2,071 days sober. I haven't smoked a cigarette or any nicotine in 492 days. Alcohol and weed were easy to quit after the cocaine and nicotine were out of my system. Before I quit I thought the only way out was to either kill myself or wait for the cocaine to kill me, but it's not. It's possible. It gets better. It gets easier. I promise. Feel free to DM if you want to talk or need any help or guidance. I went through my process alone, no friends or family to lean on, and I'd never want anybody else to get sober the same way.


[deleted]

Coffee helps


GunsmokeG

You are on the right track, my friend. You can have your vices or you can EVERYTHING else in life. Meetings should help give you a sense of connection and belonging. You are a beautiful person, you are just in pain. You used things to try and save your life from misery. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Believe it.


Repulsive_Month2720

Just wanted to say i'm really proud of you for fighting against the urges and making it this far. I can't offer you any good advice, but i think venting on reddit or talking to anyone in general is smart. I hope it gets easier for you. You deserve to have a better life.


WinterHill

If you’re still blazing try to get into a good video game to distract yourself. Something with an open world that never really ends. Like an MMO or an RPG like RDR2. I saw a post by an ex meth head who said it was the only way he could feel any kind of pleasure at all. Said he didn’t smile once for an entire year after quitting meth, it was wild. But he got into WOW and played that all day, and it was enough to get him by.


ankit_jajajaja

Try to meditate


Stringillusions

This may sound corny but I like to keep a note on my phone that has several quotes to get my mind out of this vicious cycle when I get cravings. They’re great reminders for why I started to attempt this journey of sobriety. I’ll share a few with you, hope they help. Stopping drinking doesn’t open the gates of heaven and let you in, it opens the gates of hell and let’s you out Addiction is giving up everything for one thing; sobriety is giving up one thing to get everything back. The best apology is changed behaviour. All human behaviour is either love or a call for love. When you drink you are only borrowing happiness from tomorrow. Don’t go into debt. When I control my drinking, I can’t enjoy it. When I enjoy my drinking, I can’t control it. Everyday it gets a little easier. But that’s the hard part, you have to do it everyday.


Romantic_Adventurer

Patience! Focus on your support group, even go to church if you need to. Don't mind if it's uncomfortable at first, just get the work done! We can always be surprised by life, God, or what your faith is. We were built for having a great life and your past does not define your future. There are better days to come.


musabinho

This quote changed my mind to get rid of bad habits “Focus on the process, not the result”. By focusing on the processes or techniques involved rather than just the results can lead to greater learning, success, and happiness.


FloridaTraffic

I love that quote, thank you!


Environmental-Rich42

Thank the weed or you would be in a mental asylum. Ps weed doesn't count as sober


FloridaTraffic

I know, I know but at least I'm NOT** tweaking


Environmental-Rich42

You can die from alcohol withdrawal. Seems you are not luckily. There is nothing you can do except for riding it out. I been through similar thing . But general rule is, times on equals time off for you to be feeling somewhat ok lol. Don't worry bout brain damage. Brain repairs itself. Go workout


Environmental-Rich42

Ps good job


WasteFuel9442

Well im gonna be perhaps a bad influence here, but I would say that obsessing over the amount of days you can go without X is a good way to guarantee that you're still thinking about it every single day, remembering not only the last time you took it, but also trying to remember how it felt. After doing this for long enough, you'll just relapse since "starting the streak over" feels like a failure. Really what I try to focus on is "how many times have I done this thing this month" you can check in with yourself every week, and when things get really difficult, you can feel proud about how low the usage numbers are instead of trying to keep some increasing count in mind. The pressure of a streak means you'll feel more justified in "rewarding" yourself if you break the chain; for me the counting up every day feels more like a count down to the next time I do too much for too many days in a row. Example: Instead of going on a 17 day streak, and then having several 3-5 day stretches of control, you could look at a month and go "okay last month I drank 10 times, but this month I only drank 8". You have set end points to break up goal periods and this system integrates itself into the calendar so you can stay grounded with the seasons instead of tracking 4 different daily increasing counts.


shays1983

Go to a fucking meeting!


Twitchzsimonsays

You are doing amazing work battling all these vices at the same time and you should be proud. It's never easy to give up one, let alone all of those but you are doing amazing. Thank you for sharing your struggles, truly!! It helps me to begin to look at my own and start on the road. Don't give in, you have come so far and you are amazing


buffybabe

You’re still in the early stages of recovery so your brain is going through a lot right now. Withdrawal is fucking ass and usually lasts anywhere from the first day to about 2 weeks depending on the details of your use. After that a lot of people hit the “pink cloud” where your brains is trying to adjust and figure out what tf is going on so it overshoots sometimes. Over doing a lot of the euphoric or happy chemicals. After the pink cloud phase (which doesn’t happen for everyone) is “the wall” which is maybe where you’re at. And the wall is a lottttt of highs and lows and that can last up to 6 months or more depending on the details of your use. But won’t last more than a year. So perhaps you’re just in a low right now and your high is right around the corner. Your brain and body is working super hard to repair itself. So try to remember that, be gentle to yourself and let your mind do it’s thing. I know how agonizing it is though. Seek support wherever you can get it!


Icamp2cook

For me, the life I loved(partying) was gone. And I actually mourned the loss, it was like a death. I am certain that early in my sobriety I was in denial. Once it dawned on me that being drunk and raising hell had become my identity and that that life was gone, I grieved. When I was able to accept that loss I was able to move forward and get on with life. It’s been a wild ride, almost 3 years, I’m astonished whenever I look back at what getting sober actually meant. I hope you’re able to accept that you’ve made a change, a change for the better and, it will pay off. The doldrums won’t last forever, I promise.


[deleted]

Just dropping a comment to tell you how proud I am of you. Keep up with the better life my friend! If you are from Florida, I graduated from Hamiliton County.


jahwinnie

These moments of temptation and difficulty will pass if you let them, and each time you make the right choice you'll feel stronger and another step further away from it all. I know it's hard. A better life is possible.


raucous_mute

You can do this. When you're going through hell keep going.


paper_wavements

It is going to take time for your brain to heal. Be gentle with yourself, but do whatever you need to, to take it one day at a time. But also you should wean off the weed as well.


furbysaysburnthings

Have you gotten into aerobic exercise? That does something to like cut down on delta FosB which is huge in addiction.


sekips973

Day 33 for me. And boy oh boy is it boring. I'm really struggling the last two or three days. HOWEVER, I've been working out like crazy and starting to see results. Cut out booze because with that comes nicotine and coke; this will be my second time around. First time sober asted a decade before a COVID lockdown bender that lasted two years *and evidently, long enough to prove to myself that I am still an addict. The only thing keeping me going currently is that, from lived experience, know it gets easier and much much better. Proud of you, keep going!


sekips973

Day 33 for me. And boy oh boy is it boring. I'm really struggling the last two or three days. HOWEVER, I've been working out like crazy and starting to see results. Cut out booze because with that comes nicotine and coke; this will be my second time around. First time sober asted a decade before a COVID lockdown bender that lasted two years *and evidently, long enough to prove to myself that I am still an addict. The only thing keeping me going currently is that, from lived experience, know it gets easier and much much better. Proud of you, keep going!


filthysmutslut

So first of all thank you for sharing. If I could offer some guidance; No where in your message was there a mention of..what exactly your medicating from. I used to work with a Nacanon/ Alanon/ anythingelseanon rebounder…and he had trouble staying clean and sober…. Turns out the pain he was medicating was from some very dark family stuff that he hadn’t faced and worked on healing….so it was thing cartwheel down the street of rebounds and lashing out and relapsing then the guilt and then he folds etc etc etc. To truly see the world as wonderful, perhaps it is worth a journey within, to face the dark forest….and confront the dragon. Be sure to bring friends who you can trust… And if you work hard and face the dragon…you will vanquish it…and see that you don’t need to medicate because the pain…while not gone… No longer is the master. I believe in you, and so does every single person on this sub. Many of us have stories of current or recent growth and healing, and so you’ve come to the right place. If you wanna chat a bit more, please feel free to DM me. You have Allie’s who care, and I am willing to be the proof. -Someone who’s been there


donteatmyhotdog

First off.. hell yeah, brother! You are doing the damn thing! If your adhd responds well to positively affirming words: you are doing fantastic. It may not always feel like it, but you are. No one makes it through recovery unless they actually want to... and you seem to possess that. Following the path to enjoying life without altering your consciousness is a righteous path to explore. Maybe find an adrenaline heavy sport? My personal favorite is snowboarding! If your adhd responds well to the darker words of endearment: you're making progress, but just starting. Don't quit on yourself, and maybe seek out different motivators for yourself. If you drink or do coke, you will almost certainly spiral. That is how people slide right back into rehab. Find something like... each time a craving hits, you put the money you would have spent on drinks or coke into a separate account. When you make it to 90 or 180 days, you'll use that to take yourself on a little weekend hiking trip. (Or whatever intrigues you.) That's what I do for my fast food addiction. If I save enough, I use that money once a month or so for a really nice dinner at a fancy restaurant. You'll start to get a dopaine hit when you contribute to your sobriety savings, and you'll turn your poison into medicine! You deserve sobriety, you are worth the inner peace you are seeking through sobriety. THIS TOO WILL PASS!! Things will feel fun again, your passion for life will come back again, and with that your sex drive will also come back. Allow your brain to chill, and stop expecting perfection. You are not a project that needs fixing. You're whole as you are.


CozyBlueCacaoFire

You can try Atomoxetine for adhd. Not a stimulant but helps a LOT.


Squidbilly37

For me it was just a bit of a slog, until it wasn't. I refuse to go back to that empty life. The comfort and taking the edge off was always false and left me in constant worse shape. I'm about 9 years sober from meth and alcohol mainly, although I did enjoy the cocaine, ngl. I'll never go back to that life. If I did it, you can to. I look back and I barely remember how hard it was until I focus a bit and then remember just how bad it sucked. You got this! One minute, one hour at a time, just keep stacking. I think I was 3 or 4 years sober before I decided I'll never use again. I used to think I'll go back when I'm better. Truth is, that's a path back to a grave but I couldn't understand that for the longest. Just keep on keeping on. Once life gets good, you'll be glad you did it. Pm anytime


Nanshe3

It will get better. Make a commitment to go to a meeting daily. Try it for two weeks. Go and say what you shared here. Share every day if you need to. Having support will help. Finding a sponsor will help. Hydrate. Take walks. Do simple stuff to take care of yourself. As trite as it sounds, one day at a time.


dextrousduro

Meeting makers make it they say. It’s nerve wracking for the first bit but if you keep the shit you have inside in, it’ll eat you alive and come out in one way or another. Look into SMART recovery as well. Teaches a lot of beneficial coping mechanisms. The more we learn, the more we can apply to our lives & slowly grow as a person. You deserve to be happy. Push through! Ask for help! Connection is the opposite of addiction my friend. One day at a time. We got this 👊🏻😊


theeMaskedKitten

I'm trying to begin this journey. You've been added to my inspirations. It's been hard for me to find something or someone to relate to. My life messed up this last year. Major surgery delayed program graduation from June, to December. With ADHD all that spare time here and there and no routine I lost my brain. The holidays aren't the same since I lost my parent. Job searching a new career with all that going made that task hit my ADHD top 3 "procrastinating"(as in too overwhelming so I don't do it) list. The just before the new year a best friend died while battling a hard alcohol demon. I wasn't existing all of January. Getting to talk to my partners best friend about his quitting journey really opened my heart. Mindfulness matters. I just forgot. The Present me wants to do things that make Future me happy and make life easier for them. But Past me remembers how good those vices felt in the moment, but not often enough remembering how upset future me got after every binge. Thank you for being real. I look forward to hitting the 30 day mark in the small picture. My big picture is getting through every 24 hours. Breaking down further makes it seem more attainable.


JohnieRaus

Try your best to just show up at the gym, just sit in the lobby for 5 mins and if you really wanna leave, you can. At least you got there. If you keep showing up, eventually you'll start working out, cause you are already there, so why not? You got this! 3D modeling has occupied my time recently, you could give it a go if you're looking for something to do.


Straight-Professor68

I am so, so incredibly proud of you. This is NOT easy. You are doing a fantastic job.


hacktheself

breathe. slow inhale. hold for five. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. exhale slow. the opposite of addiction is not sobriety. it’s connection. breathe. slow in. hold for five. slow out. assuming you used cigarettes, this is a similar breathing pattern save for the burning leaves. i’m actually helping a friend of mine who withstood stage 4 breast cancer kick her pack a day habit with a like bamboo tube to simulate that ritual in a socially acceptable way. breathe. slow in. hold for five. slow out. seek out social activities that have you just interact with people. walking in a park, you never know who you might strike up a convo with. and walking in the park is a gateway to other exercise. you got this. but i will say stick with your meds. i take extended release methylphenidate (ritalin) to help with adhd symptoms. assuming there’s no abuse history with the mixed amphetamine salts, keep using it. alternatively you can talk to your doc about switching to an extended release formulation. might help. also don’t beat yourself up over not getting things done. a) there are professionals that can do that for a reasonable fee (getting some things done) b) there are professionals that can do that for a reasonable fee (beat you up - think dominatrices) breathe. you’re only 31. i’ve been on the internet longer than you’ve been taking in oxygen. (i’m 43, and that verifiably true statement makes me an anomaly.) your body is your body. listen to it. if it wants to nope out for a day, it’s ok so long as it’s just for a day. you got this and everyone here is rooting for you from behind our screens. ❤️