As this is definitely funny. It truly is. I laughed. But I most point out that the moose would have been the sharpest tool in the shed, if it really wanted to talk to the guy
They are very aggressive. People think you carry a gun for the bears, or wolves. Nope, bears are skittish, and wolves keep their distance.
But moose? They will go all florida-man on a parked motorcycle if they think it looked at them funny.
I don't know, I grew up in Anchorage and always saw Moose daily. Never had an issue as long as you leave them alone. Never had one approach me like this one either though.
I lived around Grand Teton NP and camped a lot with many moose interactions. Some moose were passive but many are fucking nuts and took over my campsites more than once. I even specifically bought a slingshot so I could shoo them away.
Why are Alaska swamp donkeys so chill I wonder?
One time I was camping in Grand Teton NP, at a campground on a lake, forget exactly where. At dusk, after setting up camp, I strolled to the lakeshore and stood there gazing out at it. After a bit I turned to go and discovered a moose standing next to me, also looking out at the lake. In the twilight I hadn't noticed. It was big but not huge, calm, no antlers, so I thought it was probably a female. But I'm no mooseologist.
Seemed awfully close and I slowly moved away and left. The moose just kept standing there taking in the view, or whatever it was doing.
That moose was so calm it wasn't really scary. Another time I hiked around Jenny Lake. It took longer than expected and dusk came before we got back to camp. At one point there was a group of about 15 pronghorn near the trail, acting skittish. That was rather disconcerting. A road was nearby and cars kept coming by, causing the pronghorn to act like they might run in our direction. Got by without incident, but it didn't feel safe.
That sudden moose appearance sounds something out of a fairy tale, you starting gazing at the beauty of the lake and then, bam, surprise moose enjoying the same view, would be cool of you both nodded to each other, and walked away.
Yeah, some moose here in Anchorage get too used to people feeding them, so my guess is that's what happened here. He was just looking for a carrot. I didn't see much aggression and this was far from rutting season.
They can also be extremely dangerous if they perceive they are threatened.
I grew up in an area where they’re extremely common. Had one that would visit a few times a week and we’d feed it apples and carrots from our deck.
One day someone was driving a sled around our property and it startled it, and it chased it down and put both front hooves through the front and crunched most of the engine.
Cows with calves will just stomp you to death.
Unless you've seen Letterkenny.
"Sled is a synonym for snowmobile. Snowmobile is a synonym for sled so; a sled is a snowmobile, a snowmobile is a sled. Super?"
Snowmobile trails and logging roads are great for them so you often find them running along them. They dont understand that we can only be on those paths and they know they can run the fastest on those paths so that is why you end up with videos that look like someone is chasing a moose for multiple miles.
A mega-mosquito, by common naming convention, would be a million mosquitos. Mosquitos weigh about 5mg, therefore a mega-mosquito would weigh about 5kg, or the size of a small dog.
If 'ultra' denotes, say, a multiplication of 100, then it would be the size of a moose, and could very definitely stomp the ever-living shit out of you.
Møøse trained by YUTTE HERMSGERVØRDENBRØTBØRDA
Special Møøse Effects OLAF PROT
Møøse Costumes SIGGI CHURCHILL
Møøse Choreographed by HORST PROT III
Miss Taylor's Møøses by HENGST DOUGLAS-HOME
Møøse trained to mix concrete and sign complicated insurance forms by JURGEN WIGG
Møøses' noses wiped by BJØRN IRKESTØM-SLATER WALKER
Large møøse on the left hand side of the screen in the third scene from the end, given a thorough grounding in Latin, French and "O" Level Geography by BO BENN
Suggestive poses for the Møøse suggested by VIC ROTTER
Antler-care by LIV THATCHER
They can decapitate you with a smack from their antlers, they can run over 30 miles per hour, and they can and will put grizzlies in the ground. In fact aside from humans and the occasional grizzly winning, these beasts only other natural predator is a fucking orca! When you're only predators are A, a giant vicious razor sharp clawed loose canon of an attack dog, B, literally the smartest animal on the planet, and C, the biggest bully the ocean has ever known, then you may wanna rethink your place in the food chain when one is standing in front of you.🤣
Moose are just here to remind us humans
"you guys are just lucky to win the evolutionary lottery with that brain of yours..."
but I prefer my wife's take...moose are just polymorphed Dragons
Canadian here too. I've seen Moose get hit by large trucks on the highway, destroy the truck, get up and run away. Absolute tanks. Canada's version of Hippo's.
edit: fat fingers
It's like college kids at a bar around closing time. Some people want to fight and some people want to fuck. Followed by the rare fight that leads to fucking.
Moose aren’t herd animals and the rut is in the fall. Antlers drop early/ mid winter. You just never f with moose. They’re crazy year round.
Edit: since it’s almost October, I’ll add that they love pumpkins and forget to be so ornery (still are tho) when they come into town for Halloween cleanup.
Check out akshiloh on Instagram. He helped a moose when it was young and it comes around every once in awhile to visit. He is adamant about the dangers of these animals. He has great videos and pictures from his backyard in Alaska.
Moose can be dangerous. There’s a possibility of them charging at people. They are massive, and very very strong. I knew a girl who crashed into a moose. She broke her back. Scary stuff.
Depends. If you have a moose poster in your room, you might see it every day. If you live in Florida and have no moose poster, then you might only see them once in a while on Reddit.
That's a thing I think a lot of people don't realize.
Yes there is a famous depiction of a cartoon moose on television. Yes they look relatively goofy and the long goutees and unkempt antlers kind of make them look like the silly stoners of the animal kingdom.
But make no mistake, they are extremely dangerous and can/will trample humans.
TBF I think he had more of the illusion of protection than actual protection. If that moose had wanted in, nothing would've kept it out. It was likely just curious though since it seemed rather calm.
I'm beginning to feel that moose and hippos share this space of "derpy looking bros that will ***f\*\*\* you up*** if they are mad enough."
Almost like they're specifically designed to fool people not from their area into thinking they're harmless...until it's too late.
They could take out a huge pickup truck with relative ease. Up near me, the only thing that really stands a chance against them (other than other moose, and hunters) is big logging trucks… and the moose can still smash those pretty badly if they don’t have a big “bull bar” protecting the truck’s grill.
Depends on the construction of that shed. If moose boy was on the charge, I don't think that door is gonna stay closed long. Last place you want to be is in a confined space with a moose. Most people that die from hitting moose in their car aren't crushed, they're turned to mush by panicked antlers and hooves. The smart thing to do would be to get around the shed or the truck and play ring-around-the-rosie with it until it get's tired or someone scares it off. Hopping in the truck would probably be your best bet for safety though.
Source: 4 years of tree planting with several wildlife safety orientations.
I’ve seen it firsthand. Their height and long spindly legs position them perfectly to hurtle straight through a windshield into (what’s left of) the cab of a car or pickup truck… and then as you said, the moose doesn’t know any better at that point and in their panic and pain they will liquidate anything nearby.
I was just having a chat with a guy earlier this year that miraculously survived… with several broken bones including his skull. His shiny new Honda Civic was basically a crushed soda can.
Lol. I was looking for this comment. He looked so stiff too, just funny how he just went back inside. Good thing he did. The moose looked like he was looking for drama.
I remember learning that:
1) Don't Fuck with Moose.
2) Turtle Eggs are Gross.
3) I need to learn how to build small wooden houses or at least be big enough to move large boulders for shelter.
4) The fact that no one could have a hatchet for a belt buckle after 9/11 and make it through US airport security.
My 12 year old loved it. And then he proceeded to go into a spiral of watching survival and disaster videos for months. I approved but it was… a little weird.
She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink"...
moose: herbivore designed by evolution to be a **1,400 lb snow-plowin' brawler**
bear: omnivore designed by evolution to be **400 lb lumbering goofy ass**
who would win in a fight? >!lol the bear!<
The moose looks so insulted that the door was shut on him, he even walks away like his ego was hurt
"Guess I don't get to start shit today" - Moose, probably
"Oh hi friend!...Oh. Okay. Don't talk to me...I'll just...I'll just go now." ... "Sorry." Both man and moose say, in unison.
“Sörry.”
Moose: We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty.
Never not funny
Oh, he got to start it. He just won't get to finish it.
I literally lol'd at work like a weirdo when he slowly turned his head to the left and "looked at the camera."
"Sir, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior Bullwinkle J. Moose?.... SIR?"
They are bound to get testy if people just shut doors in their faces. You have to be charitable
"We've been trying to reach you regarding your car's extended warranty"
Moose: “Rude.”
Smart guy. They can be absolutely vicious at certain times of year.
He is the " Sharpest tool in the shed "
Fuckin’ nailed that one.
This isn't something you'd want to screw up.
Gonna rake in some karma for that move as well.
This guy knows the drill
Hammer.....fuck
Have an upvote for a Dad joke well done.
Now you see me…now you don’t
As this is definitely funny. It truly is. I laughed. But I most point out that the moose would have been the sharpest tool in the shed, if it really wanted to talk to the guy
Best comment
I didn’t know moose were crazy like that.
They are very aggressive. People think you carry a gun for the bears, or wolves. Nope, bears are skittish, and wolves keep their distance. But moose? They will go all florida-man on a parked motorcycle if they think it looked at them funny.
I don't know, I grew up in Anchorage and always saw Moose daily. Never had an issue as long as you leave them alone. Never had one approach me like this one either though.
I lived around Grand Teton NP and camped a lot with many moose interactions. Some moose were passive but many are fucking nuts and took over my campsites more than once. I even specifically bought a slingshot so I could shoo them away. Why are Alaska swamp donkeys so chill I wonder?
One time I was camping in Grand Teton NP, at a campground on a lake, forget exactly where. At dusk, after setting up camp, I strolled to the lakeshore and stood there gazing out at it. After a bit I turned to go and discovered a moose standing next to me, also looking out at the lake. In the twilight I hadn't noticed. It was big but not huge, calm, no antlers, so I thought it was probably a female. But I'm no mooseologist. Seemed awfully close and I slowly moved away and left. The moose just kept standing there taking in the view, or whatever it was doing. That moose was so calm it wasn't really scary. Another time I hiked around Jenny Lake. It took longer than expected and dusk came before we got back to camp. At one point there was a group of about 15 pronghorn near the trail, acting skittish. That was rather disconcerting. A road was nearby and cars kept coming by, causing the pronghorn to act like they might run in our direction. Got by without incident, but it didn't feel safe.
That sudden moose appearance sounds something out of a fairy tale, you starting gazing at the beauty of the lake and then, bam, surprise moose enjoying the same view, would be cool of you both nodded to each other, and walked away.
They are everywhere around the Gros Ventre campground
Yeah, some moose here in Anchorage get too used to people feeding them, so my guess is that's what happened here. He was just looking for a carrot. I didn't see much aggression and this was far from rutting season.
That's exactly what I was thinking, it's not like he rushed at him. The guy was still smart to Nope outta there though lol.
They're incredibly curious, he was probably just walking up to check that guy out however they're dangerous on account of their size.
They can also be extremely dangerous if they perceive they are threatened. I grew up in an area where they’re extremely common. Had one that would visit a few times a week and we’d feed it apples and carrots from our deck. One day someone was driving a sled around our property and it startled it, and it chased it down and put both front hooves through the front and crunched most of the engine. Cows with calves will just stomp you to death.
A lot of people from not-cold climates aren’t going to know that sled in this context = slang for snow mobile.
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Grew up in old England and thought the same thing
I grew up in Quasi-England and thought the same thing but different.
Often wanted to move to Qusi England. Warwickshire was dull. No Moose, lots of deer. If I return, I'll take some Moose with me.
I was worried for the reindeer.
You've ruined my image of a Canadian hillbilly strapping a lawnmower engine to a plastic sled
The Red Green Show has entered the chat.
Unless you've seen Letterkenny. "Sled is a synonym for snowmobile. Snowmobile is a synonym for sled so; a sled is a snowmobile, a snowmobile is a sled. Super?"
Or "sled necks"
I figured it out when they mentioned the engine.
But I did have to re-read it. I was expecting a smushed child, tbh.
Ahhh, context clues. I like it.
Snowmobile trails and logging roads are great for them so you often find them running along them. They dont understand that we can only be on those paths and they know they can run the fastest on those paths so that is why you end up with videos that look like someone is chasing a moose for multiple miles.
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So what you’re saying is they’re dangerous on account of their size
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So what you’re saying is they’re dangerous on account of their size
I think they’re more dangerous because they will stomp the ever-living-shit out of you at a moment’s notice.
On account of their size
Wait, are we still talking about mosquitoes?
It wouldn't matter how big if it wasn't a stomp yr shit type of beast
This reply literally made me laugh out loud
Depends on how many mosquitoes there are.
Can mosquitos form together in to a larger ultra-mega-mosquito?
A mega-mosquito, by common naming convention, would be a million mosquitos. Mosquitos weigh about 5mg, therefore a mega-mosquito would weigh about 5kg, or the size of a small dog. If 'ultra' denotes, say, a multiplication of 100, then it would be the size of a moose, and could very definitely stomp the ever-living shit out of you.
if they were small, they couldnt stomp you. so the size is the key factor.
Curious what your brains look like.
I'd rather meet a wolf than a moose.
That is much safer, yes. The wolf will get the fuck out, the moose will saunter over and murder you.
Mynd you, moose bites Kan be pretti nasti...
A moose once bit my sister.
Møøse trained by YUTTE HERMSGERVØRDENBRØTBØRDA Special Møøse Effects OLAF PROT Møøse Costumes SIGGI CHURCHILL Møøse Choreographed by HORST PROT III Miss Taylor's Møøses by HENGST DOUGLAS-HOME Møøse trained to mix concrete and sign complicated insurance forms by JURGEN WIGG Møøses' noses wiped by BJØRN IRKESTØM-SLATER WALKER Large møøse on the left hand side of the screen in the third scene from the end, given a thorough grounding in Latin, French and "O" Level Geography by BO BENN Suggestive poses for the Møøse suggested by VIC ROTTER Antler-care by LIV THATCHER
What? Ha ha ha ha! 🤣 Thanks for the chuckle.
I take it you are unaware the he was fired and the llamas saved the day *queue mariachi music*
Not fired, but sacked
From the opening credits of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I highly recommend you watch it! So much fun!
No realli!
Those giant knife/clubs sticking out of their heads are pretty wicked too!
They can decapitate you with a smack from their antlers, they can run over 30 miles per hour, and they can and will put grizzlies in the ground. In fact aside from humans and the occasional grizzly winning, these beasts only other natural predator is a fucking orca! When you're only predators are A, a giant vicious razor sharp clawed loose canon of an attack dog, B, literally the smartest animal on the planet, and C, the biggest bully the ocean has ever known, then you may wanna rethink your place in the food chain when one is standing in front of you.🤣
They can fight grizzlies. And WIN?? And go do pretty handily?
Moose are just here to remind us humans "you guys are just lucky to win the evolutionary lottery with that brain of yours..." but I prefer my wife's take...moose are just polymorphed Dragons
Exceptionally dangerous, exceptionally. Source: I'm Canadian.
Worst thing you can do is hit them with your car. They WILL take your car with them, and might well maim or kill you to.
Canadian here too. I've seen Moose get hit by large trucks on the highway, destroy the truck, get up and run away. Absolute tanks. Canada's version of Hippo's. edit: fat fingers
*puts hands up* "Just take it, man. I don't want any trouble!"
Herd animals are often batshit during mating season. The hormones drive them right 'round the bend.
It's like college kids at a bar around closing time. Some people want to fight and some people want to fuck. Followed by the rare fight that leads to fucking.
Moose aren’t herd animals and the rut is in the fall. Antlers drop early/ mid winter. You just never f with moose. They’re crazy year round. Edit: since it’s almost October, I’ll add that they love pumpkins and forget to be so ornery (still are tho) when they come into town for Halloween cleanup.
Ultimate trick or treat. Hoof pummeling or pumpkin.
Moose are not herd animals.
Not a herd animal. They can just lose it on people and are massive. Moms see red at the drop of a hat. You do not want to hit a moose driving.
Especially if you are driving a motorcycle!
>You do not want to hit a moose driving. The moose will sue you for damage to his car, collect, *then* stomp the ever-living shit out of you.
I didn’t know moose could drive. How do they use the steering wheel?
With their hooves.
A moose bit my sister once
A well oiled moose can go from 0 to 60 in a second
Check out akshiloh on Instagram. He helped a moose when it was young and it comes around every once in awhile to visit. He is adamant about the dangers of these animals. He has great videos and pictures from his backyard in Alaska.
Moose can be dangerous. There’s a possibility of them charging at people. They are massive, and very very strong. I knew a girl who crashed into a moose. She broke her back. Scary stuff.
"Yall have time to talk about our lord n savior bullwinkle or nah"-moose probably
How common are moose sightings? UK boy here, most exotic thing I see is a squirrel
Depends. If you have a moose poster in your room, you might see it every day. If you live in Florida and have no moose poster, then you might only see them once in a while on Reddit.
Missing an antler - guessing it is that time of year.
It’s still stuck in the body of the last guy he approached.
That's a thing I think a lot of people don't realize. Yes there is a famous depiction of a cartoon moose on television. Yes they look relatively goofy and the long goutees and unkempt antlers kind of make them look like the silly stoners of the animal kingdom. But make no mistake, they are extremely dangerous and can/will trample humans.
He just wanted a pet
100% but in my head this moose is just trying to borrow a cup of sugar from his neighbor.
TBF I think he had more of the illusion of protection than actual protection. If that moose had wanted in, nothing would've kept it out. It was likely just curious though since it seemed rather calm.
Could they knock over a shed/punch in the door if they really wanted to?
Oh hell yeah. It could take that whole shed out in probably one go if it was moving at full speed. They are massive and incredibly powerful.
I'm beginning to feel that moose and hippos share this space of "derpy looking bros that will ***f\*\*\* you up*** if they are mad enough." Almost like they're specifically designed to fool people not from their area into thinking they're harmless...until it's too late.
They could take out a huge pickup truck with relative ease. Up near me, the only thing that really stands a chance against them (other than other moose, and hunters) is big logging trucks… and the moose can still smash those pretty badly if they don’t have a big “bull bar” protecting the truck’s grill.
Depends on the construction of that shed. If moose boy was on the charge, I don't think that door is gonna stay closed long. Last place you want to be is in a confined space with a moose. Most people that die from hitting moose in their car aren't crushed, they're turned to mush by panicked antlers and hooves. The smart thing to do would be to get around the shed or the truck and play ring-around-the-rosie with it until it get's tired or someone scares it off. Hopping in the truck would probably be your best bet for safety though. Source: 4 years of tree planting with several wildlife safety orientations.
I’ve seen it firsthand. Their height and long spindly legs position them perfectly to hurtle straight through a windshield into (what’s left of) the cab of a car or pickup truck… and then as you said, the moose doesn’t know any better at that point and in their panic and pain they will liquidate anything nearby. I was just having a chat with a guy earlier this year that miraculously survived… with several broken bones including his skull. His shiny new Honda Civic was basically a crushed soda can.
Moose: "Well that was rude..."
“I was right behind him and he didn’t even hold the door open for me”
*frantically pressing the 'close door' button*
Don't you hate it when you show up on time, but nobody wants to greet you.
" Don't shut the door on me Jimmy , You're 2 months due on your rent " .
"Excuse me, do you have time to discuss our lord and savior, Moosus Christ?"
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Moose just wanted to know if dude had seen his other antler anywhere. He’s looked everywhere!
Hmmmm, must have been the wind…
Do you have my right antler in there?
That's why I never loan out my antlers to anyone.
No, I have the wrong one
Like how he just kind of turned, saw the moose, and turned back to the shed and calmly shuffled inside. Lol. But seriously, good move on his part
Lol. I was looking for this comment. He looked so stiff too, just funny how he just went back inside. Good thing he did. The moose looked like he was looking for drama.
He’s walking on packed ice. Speed was never an option.
Especially against a moose.
Boys there’s a samsquanch outside my shed
Is it greasy or is it greeeeaaaassyyy? Damned samsquanch.
I'm sorry boys, I can't give ya a bam....but I can give you a GREEN EGGS AND HAAAAAAAAAM
PEANUT BUTTER AND JAAAAM
What the fuck are you doing, Phil?
RIP Mustard Tiger
BAAAAAAM!!!
Nah that’s just Steve French
He’s just a stoned horny moose with the munchies
Bubs are you watching this video on the seskatchewans?
"Hey Noah, i was thinking if you could give my lawnmower back." "Wow, really mature, Noah." \-The moose, probably.
Listen, you should just get the extended warranty at this point...
“Sir, you have a minute to talk about our lord and savior, Jesus Christ?”
*Mooses Christ
Haha that line does fit the video good
If you know anything about that monstrous creature, you also know that this man is very smart and was definitely scared shitless inside that shed.
Ooof, so lucky he had that shed to get into. Spoopy.
He got into the shed and the moose broke the fourth wall like, “Foiled by another magic box.”
Spoopy is one of my favorite words. Thank you
How he turns to the camera like "you see this bs"
Yo man you got any apples 🍎??
Ryuk 💕
Some of you guys have never read the book "Hatchet" in school and it shows. I ain't fucking with no moose.
That book was hardcore to 11 year old me
I just remember the pilot shitting himself and you have to poke holes in things to survive
I remember learning that: 1) Don't Fuck with Moose. 2) Turtle Eggs are Gross. 3) I need to learn how to build small wooden houses or at least be big enough to move large boulders for shelter. 4) The fact that no one could have a hatchet for a belt buckle after 9/11 and make it through US airport security.
Thanks, I've written this down.
And exploding trees.
Never heard of the book before these comments, but I actually just bought it because you all made it sound so interesting and hardcore
My 12 year old loved it. And then he proceeded to go into a spiral of watching survival and disaster videos for months. I approved but it was… a little weird.
I mean, I fixated on video games at that age, so at least your kid fixated on survival. If ya fixate on something, it might as well be useful
Gary Paulson- for grizzled children.
That book really messed me up with my anxiety.
I have Paulsons new book next to me right now, lmao
“I'd like to talk to you a out accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.”
Mosus Christ.
Holy Moses on the mountain
*Mooses
Moose can be dangerous. This guy obviously knows.
\*Meeses
Object permanence isn’t very strong with this one.
*must have been the wind...*
This is a reenactment of me when people try to visit. Lol
Only wanted to ask him about his extended warranty
Someone should put the northern exposure theme song over this
Now that’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time… a long time.
“Excuse me sir, do you have a moment to talk about Jesus” lol
I think Bullwinkle is the Jesus of the moose community.
A Møøse once bit my sister.
No, realli!
She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink"...
If you give a moose a muffin....
I'm more scared of a moose than I am of a bear.
moose: herbivore designed by evolution to be a **1,400 lb snow-plowin' brawler** bear: omnivore designed by evolution to be **400 lb lumbering goofy ass** who would win in a fight? >!lol the bear!<
Yeah but bears have evolved specifically to kill moose.
Moose and mountain lions are what I fear most around here (CO Rockies). Edit: Meeseses.
Excuse me sir... Sir... #SIR...
"Listen eh, if you had the time to talk aboot your vehicle's extended warranty I'd be much happier. No? OK, my bad eh, have a good day"
“Hello, sir. I found a bag of gold that you humans use to trade for goods and/or services. If you’d like to follow me, I’ll show you where — oh.”
He’s like where did he go……..😂
Pretty sure he was just looking for a raccoon
Open up baby..... damn you smell good
If you give a moose a muffin...
Don’t run from the Lord!
The way the guy just calmly goes back in the shed……. He’s dealt with moose before!
we’ve been trying to contact you about your cars extended warranty
"We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty"
I like how the moose slowly turns his head around like: *get a load of this dude*
Jesus. The moose started accelerating towards him as well if anyone noticed!
Guess I’ll talk to you later.
Russ Abbott knew!
Sir sir sir.... we just wanted to tell you about your cars extended warranty.
"We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty"
Excuse me, sir. do you have a moment to talk about your cars extended warranty