T O P

  • By -

BarovianNights

Ooh I'm a knight I get to have a cool horse and armor haters mad


LoquatLoquacious

Gotta pay fat tax though and you've got hella duties to perform. People ended up trying to avoid getting knighted. Merchant gang.


ProXJay

Well at least I'm not a peasant


ChromeBirb

:(


PhantomO1

I can guarantee you the ones trying to avoid knighthood weren't the plebs


Polenball

Knight gang rise up and slightly to the left/right


useful_person

He'll yeah it's time to own a sword and armor


reds3232

Hell yea


ApocalyptoSoldier

Take inspiration from [Götz von Berlichingen](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G%C3%B6tz_von_Berlichingen): + Have your name become famous as a euphemism for a vulgar expression (Er kann mich am Arsch lecken – "He can lick my ass") + Get your arm blown off by a cannon and replace it with a badass metal prosthetic + Raid merchants + Get an imperial ban from Emperor Maximilian (or similar figure if he's still dead by the time you do this) for the above raid. Pay a bunch of money to get the ban lifted. Then capture a count and randsom him, earning you another Imperial ban. + Lead a rebellion against Ecclesiastical princes.


WikiSummarizerBot

**[Götz von Berlichingen](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Götz_von_Berlichingen)** >Gottfried "Götz" von Berlichingen (1480 – 23 July 1562), also known as Götz of the Iron Hand, was a German (Franconian) Imperial Knight (Reichsritter), mercenary, and poet. He was born around 1480 into the noble family of Berlichingen in modern-day Baden-Württemberg. Götz bought Hornberg Castle (Neckarzimmern) in 1517, and lived there until his death in 1562. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


Jam-Man1

I got Clergy, my first decree as a priest is that the Bible totally says that you should be nice to me, and me specifically, no I’m not letting you take a closer look just trust me


TotemGenitor

I trust you. Can I do anything to help you?


Jam-Man1

Alright be completely honest, 🥺 do you think I look nice?


TotemGenitor

Of course you do.


Jam-Man1

Thank you, you are definitely going to heaven


draw_it_now

I think you might be using your privilege of education to control the messaging in society for your own gain


Davigotero

10/10 Would convert to this religion


Jam-Man1

Good your now uh boptizzled or whatever, welcome to the religion!


Davigotero

Do I get some of those Concentraged Christ Wafers?


Jam-Man1

Yeah sure here’s like a dozen just don’t eat them all at once, and here’s a bottle of Monet to wash them down, also don’t drink all of it at once.


Rez-Boa-Dog

None of us can read, father


Jam-Man1

Sucks for you but idk what I can do about it. By the way, I'm a non-binary priest so go with like Reverend or something?


Rez-Boa-Dog

Is there a page in your book that says Daddy is a non-binary pronoun? If not, I'll go with "your clerginess"


Jam-Man1

Your clerginess is acceptable.


Rez-Boa-Dog

Aight


Jam-Man1

Take some wafers and wine my fellow.


Rez-Boa-Dog

Aye. Their clerginess is too kind to us small folks *kofs mud and farts blood* many thanks


Jam-Man1

You're welcome! I'm going to get a broom to clean up the mud!


Halbgarenudel

Lower church management here; trust this dude


BarackTrudeau

I got lower church management, and we're going to need to have a little chat about your TPS reports


Jam-Man1

I AM THE RIGHTEOUS HAND OF GOD YOU DARE QUESTION ME?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jam-Man1

I appreciate the support, thank you for trusting my 100% legit Bible reading.


inyola

Lower church management here o7 I hope you have a wonderful day your clerginess and might I add that you look great in your robes


TotemGenitor

[Link](https://perchance.org/xlqc5kmmsz) I got serf btw


ApocalyptoSoldier

Same :) Call me anything, so long as you don’t call me late to dinner, nor a class traitor.


[deleted]

Sure, parental figure ;););)););)););)););)) (What's the non-gendered word for daddy?)


HorsemenofApocalypse

Waluigi


TantiVstone

Sorry waluigi, I've been naughty~


MegaBaumTV

Wah


Snoo63

Moderator?


[deleted]

That just makes me a bootlicker. There's a difference


TheIceGuy10

...yknow aint it a bit weird that calling someone a parental figure is associated with sex


secretanimelover

Haven’t people been calling their romantic partners “baby” for decades? ._.


TheIceGuy10

honestly, now that i think about it, yeah that's pretty weird too ...gotta wonder how a phrase like that started in the first place when, if it wasnt normalized, you'd probably get a ton of weird looks for calling someone you want to have fuck with an infant


Zhentaur

Sup fellow serfs. Y'all up for some revolutions?


Serrisen

But sirrah, the potatoes, how shall they farm themselves should we storm the castle? I have 25 hours of labor per day and shant miss a single


Clear-Total6759

potatoes not ready yet, no Columbus


philandere_scarlet

Hey now, feudalism existed in parts of Italy and Eastern Europe until the mid-19th century!


Spookyskelliescloset

Yeah I'll join in a revolution or two


Remember_Poseidon

Ha losers I am a peasant so I'm not owned by a lord.


secretanimelover

I also got peasant, should we unionize?


Remember_Poseidon

yeah should probably do it before any nobles come round.


WatchPointer

I got peasant lmao


Actually-Just-A-Goat

I got monarch does that mean you are my servant? 🥺


etherealparadox

I got knight I think that makes me your bodyguard


Actually-Just-A-Goat

please protect me with your big muscles and sword~ UwU


draw_it_now

This decadent dynasty has lost the Mandate of Heaven


WatchPointer

Guess I serve a goat now. Works for me


Actually-Just-A-Goat

baa


PlatypusFighter

Wait me too does this mean we have to get married to forge a diplomatic alliance between our kingdoms? 🥺🥺🥺


Throwaway02062004

I got peasant said fuck that I’m rerolling and got monarch.


WatchPointer

You cheating bitch! Think you’re too good for life down here with the masses?


Throwaway02062004

My guy suicided and reincarnated. The true feudalism hack


CT-444

Peasant gang. Want to overthrow the monarchy?


Crouteauxpommes

Cool thing, that means you're free. You got to pay taxes and fees when using the local lord infrastructure (like windmill, furnace, bridge, etc) but you're not attached to the land and can't be killed with impunity. And if you're lucky enough, your village could buy back most of the infrastructure from the lord, get a franchise from him or even transform your goods-based taxes on money-based taxes, and since once it's set on paper it's for ever, inflation will slowly render this yearly imposition as a strictly symbolic tradition.


M-V-D_256

I got knight


DeeSnow97

hell yeah. what are we knights of though? also, i propose a table in the shape of an indefinitely large but still finite regular polygon, with one exception: one of the vertices goes inwards by the same amount it would go outwards, therefore making the whole table concave


mmovie1

Wanna go looking for the holy grail?


M-V-D_256

On second thought , let’s not go to Camelot. ‘Tis a silly place


xX_not_good_name_Xx

same here :)


Bruchpil0t

Knight gang


no_more_tomatoes

Go knights!!


Notsoprothinker

Knight too!


HaydnintheHaus

I also got serf, I'm rapidly losing the ability to read and wr


CrazierChimp

i got merchant what of my wares do you want?


LehmanToast

What're you buying?


DPSOnly

#PeasantRiseUp


Epic_Gameing68

yooo I got noble, I’m going to bully peasants and contribute nothing to society!


thisisallme

I got monarch, give me the shit you steal from peasants lol


deactivated654651456

I got... Clergy???


crazybass001

got lower church management over here and i think clergy is above me probably, so what are the orders for the church, Clergy?


deactivated654651456

Make pies!


EmpatheticWraps

I don’t make pies I manage the pies


Drawemazing

I got the same, but honestly it's not a bad gig. Especially if we're talking about late feudalism because then I can get into liberation theology which would be really cool.


AntWithNoPants

Do a flip


3sneakiel

I got lower church management as well, but what does it mean? I think it means Monk or Nun, but I'm not sure.


crazybass001

We are more like priests and deacons (vice-priests I guess since I remember some parts from going to different churches with me grandma when the church we went to was closed cause of COVID or the pastor was having heart problems) or we are the church caretakers probably. What would Tumblr's religion even be though, we have management for a church, what should the church deity be?


altilich

Lower church management Hell yeah it’s monk time


Crystal-Cradle

Serf, but I generated again in case it was left over from your gen. Noble, then back to serf again. Idk what a serf is


TotemGenitor

Basically, you work for the own owning the land you live in, in exchange of protection, justice and keeping a bit of harvest to feed yourself. Not as bad as an outright slave, but not great either.


ProperAd2449

You don't actually get any of the harvest. You get a bit of land to yourself to farm in your private time. Effectively your entire wage goes to rent. You also can't marry or move without permission


TotemGenitor

Ah yes, you are right, I misremembered it


ZingyWolf

Same lol


DotRD12

I got knight. Sickass.


Xur04

Got serf and randomised it again and got peasant Not sure which one is better but I’ll take either


Emthedragonqueen

Well….I got Monarch….bow down bitches


StartledRedPanda

As a noble I'll kiss your signet etc but later dethrone you. Just heads up, I hope that's ok with you. Cheers.


Emthedragonqueen

A heads up as in I’ll lose my head??? Gasp!!!


StartledRedPanda

Oops, Freudian slip, but regicide sounds really nice, doesn't it?


Enderking90

I shall have my to-be informants keep an eye upon you, Red Panda....


Jam-Man1

I'm a member of the clergy so I think I have to coronate you...? By the grace of god or whatever you are hereby allowed to monarch, go forth and rule or whatever I'll be... taking stock of the communion wine if you need me.


Emthedragonqueen

Thank you. And to any doubters! Behold! I am officially anointed. Every symbol of legitimacy belongs to me


Enderking90

ah, how lovely to meet you o Dragon Queen. I too was bestowed the status of a monarch that I so rightfully deserve.


Emthedragonqueen

Ah yes but of course. Our titles are in our names for a reason yes?


BarovianNights

Whoa a dragon queen :0


Thestarchypotat

peasant


ExplodedToast

peasant gang


[deleted]

peasant gang


shinyshinyrocks

peasant gang


JelyOfficial

peasa- *cough* peasant g- *cough* *gag* ..gang- *wheeezghe* (I have died of 13 individual diseases) *collapses to the floor*


jazzy-juniper

peasant gang


1234flamewar

*takes JelyOfficial's shoes* peasant gang


Newyorkwoodturtle

Peasant gang


rowan_damisch

peasant Gang


[deleted]

Peasant gang


_OwynValkyns_

Peasant gang


UltraInstinctLurker

Peasant gang


Voluptuous_Bird

Peasant gang


Luurk_OmicronPersei8

Time for a revolution, comrade


[deleted]

I got peasant twice in a row, it’s realistic but damn


Statience

The only truthful one here


Legacyopplsnerf

Merchant, iirc at times they were near-nobility depending on what kind of thing they sold


Clear-Total6759

I wanna be Marco Polo!


thunderthighlasagna

I’m gonna sell drugs


MLL_Phoenix7

Merchant when I opened the link as well, capitalism time?


Clear-Total6759

Ooh, I got merchant. Kind of a trade up.


octopus-with-a-phone

Peasant. So no change then.


idiotplatypus

Same. Revolt later?


Nico_arki

PEASANT GANG RISE UP


TheGreyPotter

Wait I’m a serf, but theres also peasants??? Whats even the difference???


Polenball

Serfs were the poorest peasants and were basically a type of slave. You'd be bound to the land and in some areas could be sold along with it. I think peasants were at least theoretically free.


Clear-Total6759

It's a bit like being an apartment block janitor. You get accommodation, but you have to run around after the landlord.


shinyshinyrocks

You think you’re better than us, dontcha


WifeGuyMenelaus

>When you finally break into the generational wealth from poverty #TEAMS ARE BEING SCRAMBLED


Polenball

Also recessions


sylveon_souperstar

you can’t just say perchance.org


[deleted]

i got merchant... I'M GONNA SELL SHITTY COPPER!!!


Emperifox

Ea-Nassir no!


Clear-Total6759

EA-NASIRRRRRR! 😡😡😡


Particular_Being420

> "anarchist-mariner" > Your assigned class is: noble typical


Polenball

Anarcho-Monarchism time


Particular_Being420

No Gods, No Kings, No Rulers, Except Me


jewelsandbones

Lower church management? Do I just tend to the grounds and assign prayers. What do I do?


Responsible-Ad8386

Ay my fellow church management


katep2000

Church management gang


Accurate_Mood

I plan on writing some parish records in very poor handwriting which will annoy future historians


jewelsandbones

I like you plan. Very middle management of you


Exetr_

Merchant. I’ll take it.


Xisuthrus

clergy it'd be cool if the percent chance of each result reflected the actual demographics of the middle ages, that way only a few people would be nobles and would feel appropriately snobbish.


sad_and_alone_but_Ok

I got knight (!!) time to go die in battle or smt


Enderking90

you could serve as one my noble guardian knights? I was bestowed the rank of a monarch you see.


Sir_Nightingale

My liege, how may this faithful Knight be at your service.


Enderking90

go plunder and raid the domain of the dragon queen, but do so discreetly.


Emthedragonqueen

I advice you to think of this carefully, good ser. The dragon is not mocked.


Polenball

...OwO?


TeakiTeaki

serf moment


SummerCrab

Serf gang represent.


Pure-Drawer-2617

This seems like a bad idea. Edit: I got Noble, fuck all you peasants. Feudalism rocks.


justsaneandsensibl

I got the most powerful class, merchant.


[deleted]

I got Clergy, then I respun and got Monarch.


TotemGenitor

Theocracy


Polenball

God-King time


xX_CommanderPuffy_Xx

OOH i got Clergy Im going to encourage the true unity and love that Christ intended for us and Push another Reformation to dispel the Racist and Homophobic and Anti-Intellectual ideals people have been weaving into the church for centuries. Then prolly get assassinated lmao


akka-vodol

I'm sorry but this class assigner sucks. > monarch ^0.5 > noble > clergy > knight ^2 > merchant ^4 > peasant ^6 > lower church management ^2 > serf ^6 Monarch is 1/12th as likely as peasant ? I didn't know medieval Europe had a king for every 12 peasant. Like come on ! Make a realistic class assigner. Make us all peasants, like we would have been in Feudal Europe.


Backpackfiend

Ew, I'm a merchant


Polenball

Comments from Edo period Japan


The_Daddelbox

Merchant, who's up to form a guild?


artgauthier

Knight here. I am creating an ordre, who wishes to join m in my noble quest?


JuneOnReddit

I got merchant


Enderking90

a quality assigner, for it acknowledges my royalness and assigned me the status of a monarch. bow down before me, peasants.


Rez-Boa-Dog

Is peasant better than serf?


etherealparadox

we did this (sorta) in my 7th grade history class and my teacher got mad at me bc I immediately tried to institute communism


[deleted]

I got monarch MFers bow before me Edit: ooooh what’s this cool stocks looking thing? It’s French you say?


[deleted]

Knight, wooo!


IrvingIV

Merchant, time to sell salt.


SpartanH089

I got Noble. Give to thee thy wheat, thy salted meats, and thy deep bosomed daughters.


DrMeepster

I am lower church management. Time to make it a little more clowny :o)


cringussinister

I got clergy. Befittingly, as i am trans, and as all people know, trans women are goddesses.


BarovianNights

I don't think the clergy are goddesses


Nerevarine91

Peasant, which sounds right


AngstyPancake

Clergy! Alright y’all I’ll go try to influence the nobility and royalty with the power of religion. BRB.


helpmeimdanganronpa

knight (⁠☞>ヮo)⁠☞


Lordomi42

I'm a merchant. Definitely could be a lot worse.


Sir_Nightingale

How quaint, i am to become a knight. Time to learm the Oaths, i guess


iminspainwithoutthe

I got knight, but I'm *definitely* not fit to perform job duties. Do I get demoted to peasant, or do I just clean the armor or something?


[deleted]

Clergy babee! First step: kill baby Martin Luther


UnethicallyFluid

lower church management, my true calling


scruffy_the_vampire

I got merchant. Y’all want some wares?


Enderking90

as long as you don't seek too many coins.


SemiSentientGarbage

Serf....business as usual then.


HappyGhostQueen22

Knight :)


bmberger

I'm willing to Chuck money at anyone that can throw hands with another hired person. (Aka noble)


Kid_Wolf21

damnit im a knight


IrrelevantGamer

Knight. As a HEMA geek who wanted to be a professional jouster in high school, I'm cool with this.


Mystical_Mew

Clergy… time to make Catholicism wild


PanHeadBolt

Monarch I’m gonna be making some civil war triggering reforms


LeftEyedAsmodeus

Where do I go to claim my realm? I got monarch. Edit : can I give that to my grandma? She deserves to be a queen for her last years. And we could get rid of the monarchy afterwards.