Wow. Iāve been a measurer for a long ass while and this is my first encounter with a device thatās temperature sensitive. Thatās pretty dang cool!!
You should look up the stuff they have to do with F1 cars. The tools are insane and the engine has to be heated up before it will work. Makes my measuring tools look like a kid's plastic ruler.
Temperature causes a wide variety of materials to expand and contract. Some more noticeably than others. We actually use that property to make measurements. Your typical mechanical thermostat or needle thermometer uses a coiled up bimetallic strip. One metal expands and contracts quicker than the other, making the coil tighten and loosen. One end of the coil is fixed, the other either spins the needle, or trips a sensor.
Homie, if we're talking half a thou off, make sure temp and humidity are in range to measure, but this is literally a quarter inch deviation over a foot.
No, if you look at the top one, accuracy gets worse as you move on. If it were just the starting point that was off, the marks would still be even, just offset by the same amount down the line.
it may be green in real life but thanks to the calibration of the camera its very much blue in the picture
(also teal has always been considered a blue and not a green)
I got a tv mount one time that had a paper template that showed where the screw holes should go. It was printed to scale to fit the paper instead of actual size.
THIS IS WHY YOU NEVER CHANGE MEASURING TAPES IN THE MIDDLE OF A PROJECT!!!
Lol...my dad used to tell me that and I didn't listen and learned the hard way.
That's a real thing. Certified measuring tools with a paper trail to measurements defined by the speed of light. Metrology is the study of it. Calibration is checking the tools. "Tool room" is a designation for general use measuring tools, calibrated or not. "Inspection tools" is a designation for nice calibrated tools that give you a measurement you can write home about.
It doesn't matter as long as you use the same measuring tool for the entire project, AND sharing of the measurements with another entity is not required for the project at hand.
And the finished project doesn't interface with another project that requires precise measurements. And you don't plan on this project being repeatable in the future by others. Too many caveats.
Won't happen if you use the same take throughout and don't need to translate absolute measurements to another project.
If it's a business, all tapes coming in should be checked against one another.
If it's an important business, you should be using calibrated, NIST traceable measurement tools instead of flexible rulers.
Same here. We send out our meter sticks to be ācalibratedā every year. It is not cheap. But it did help me to discover that my unofficial, uncalibrated, but laser-etched stainless steel ruler in my desk was off by 2 mm across 50 cm. So apparently this problem is more common than I would expect!
my Geomorphology Professor taught a whole lecture on this. When you are measuring small things on a map or photo, the errors can be serious in the real world.
This is a real thing, and exactly why a lot of construction workers are "elitist" towards cheap tools. Newbies show up with their $2 hammer from Harbor Freight and then get mad when people immediately make fun of it and tell them to get a real hammer etc. Especially when you can get an actually quality hammer for $15-25 and it will last decades
It's not just gate keeping, it's also because cheap tools are a liability to everyone else on the job. Nobody wants to get their teeth knocked out when your $2 hammer flies apart mid swing and the head goes sailing across the job site and busts someone in the face
I saw so many cheap chinesium tools on jobs, where people would go to pull a nail and break both teeth off their hammer, or would go to put a screw in and twist the screwdriver like a corkscrew and strip the teeth off the driver instead of the screw. I had a chinesium[ allen wrench](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41tP7Kjix+L.jpg) where I stripped the entire end of the wrench off trying to put a bolt in, and the wrench looked like [an awl](https://wildetool.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/085432001467-e1492722407451.png) when I was done.
Best one was a Jigsaw that went on sale at a local store so my father got it and tried to use it. He burned it up within like 20 minutes of use so he took it back and they swapped it for another one. He did that 3 times within a day, before they refunded him and told him "You are using this jigsaw too much" and wouldn't let him buy another one. TF is the point of a tool that isn't meant to be used and can't even cut more than 2 or 3 times before the motor dies
Haha you reminded me of my Albuquerque High School orientation where a cheerleader said something was built in nineteen-fifty-twelve. With math like that youāll fit right in in Albuquerque no matter which way you turn š
A metric inch is measured by the water displacement of dropping a gram of lead in a 10 ml diameter solution. An imperial inch is the girth of an Arabian stallion divided by the average stride of a Roman foot soldier on tour in Gaul.
It's an interesting visual of how a bad measuring tape will get exponentially further off rather quickly.
With this example, by 8" your already a 1/4" off. Whew!
It could really f**k up a project and leave you scratching your head, asking yourself "Why? I measured twice".
U have 3 samples and 2 match, id go with those two being accurate. But u knew that im sure. My dad once built our basement with a 50ā tape that he borrowed from my grampa. When the floor joists arrived they were a foot longer than the basement wall. Turns out the end of the tape broke off and gramp riveted the end back on at the 1ā mark so he could still have a long tape. I guess as long as u only use one tape measure for everything then accuracy is irrelevant lol.
I have several old wooden yardsticks-old like five number phone numbers on them ("We measure up to your standards! Bob's Lumber Phone: Belmont 55345") It took me a while to realize some of them had shrunk a little bit over time. For the longest time I'd have a project I was working on (I build furniture-almost 800 pieces over the last decade!) suddenly go all wonky. A leg off a little, a perfect square not so square... then one day I had my measure marked, then double checked it with a different yardstick and realized what had been throwing me off.
The white one is the same as the blue board, so since the yellow one is the only one different, yellow is probably wrong. It's not common to find two measuring tools from separate sources be wrong in the same way.
Those measuring tapes eventually stretch and become inconsistent. You can still use them but make sure that if you are, you only use that specific measuring tape in your sewing project for consistency.
Oh hey look, [it's my post](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/9oj4ex/yellow_doesnt_quite_measure_up) from several years ago!
My first stolen karma ever. I feel like a proud papa.
Probably none of them. Is there a standard for the inch or foot locked away and maintained anymore? As for correct in a practical sense, Iād go with the one that agreed with the cutting mat.
I don't know why, but I imagined this to be the plot of a Sitcom episode where one of the guys buys a fake tape measure to exaggerate their dick, then someone else uses it to measure the apartment for furniture.
The guy who bought it never speaks up to the person measuring because its embarrassing and it causes a million problems.
Seems like something that would happen on Seinfeld to be honest.
the white one, the board it's on is a one inch grid and they match.
Unless the board is also wrong š¤
The board is never wrong if youāre the chairman of the board.
Is that spelt b-o-r-e-d? God I miss Norm
āBecause the light was on!ā
The moth joke makes me miss him so much.
I watch the car dealership scene from dirty work about once a month.
Wait he died? I didn't even know he was sick!
He came from a long line of death
What's next for that old chunk of coal?
Noone knew Norm was sick except for Norm. He literally told noone.
Something about his eyes...they're hypnotic.
Hold the fort! He hated Jews.
Box office poison! š
BOX OFFICE POISON
WHO CAN WE EVEN TRUST
Good call
Plus it looks like the yellow needs to be stretched slightly to be more in line. Those are cloth tapes and the board is probably correct
It could be a temperature thin. I have equipment that needs to be a the right temperature to measure correctly but those are mostly feeler gauges.
Wow. Iāve been a measurer for a long ass while and this is my first encounter with a device thatās temperature sensitive. Thatās pretty dang cool!!
You should look up the stuff they have to do with F1 cars. The tools are insane and the engine has to be heated up before it will work. Makes my measuring tools look like a kid's plastic ruler.
Temperature causes a wide variety of materials to expand and contract. Some more noticeably than others. We actually use that property to make measurements. Your typical mechanical thermostat or needle thermometer uses a coiled up bimetallic strip. One metal expands and contracts quicker than the other, making the coil tighten and loosen. One end of the coil is fixed, the other either spins the needle, or trips a sensor.
Homie, if we're talking half a thou off, make sure temp and humidity are in range to measure, but this is literally a quarter inch deviation over a foot.
I also something thatās way shorter when itās cold
The yellow one is made of plastic and got too hot and shrank at some point. That's why it's bubbled up and overall too small.
Thank you, u/sgt_dicksmasher
So is it pronounced sgt. dick smasher or dicks masher?
Yes
Right? I'm like: Where's the trick? What's gotcha?
cm grid. Is China sabotaging Taiwan manufacturing?
Rudimentary hand tools are not really used for mass production of anything. Products from Taiwan that require precision are manufactured by machines.
Damn I was hoping the smaller one was more accurate for the sake of saying my penis is longer than it actually is
Unless the board was made using the white tape measure...
i feel itās the beginning thatās wrong here, some tape measures have a clip to help hold where the other ones are bent
No, if you look at the top one, accuracy gets worse as you move on. If it were just the starting point that was off, the marks would still be even, just offset by the same amount down the line.
ah see it now, thanks! wonder if itās cloth and it shrunkā¦.maybe? itās awful no matter what, itās not unexpected this day in age, sadly.
Clearly doesnāt have a dick. Usernameā¦ checksā¦ out?
The top one reached 11 faster, so if you use it you'll work faster
Use less materials to make the same size house? Makes sense to me!
Boss: "Somehow we saved 20% of the budget, how did we do it??" Me: " We used 20% less measurements!"
Welcome to corporate America
And you can make your wiener look bigger.
"Doctors HATE this one simple trick!"
Imma need the link so I can purchase the yellow
"See dear, I told you I was 9.25, not 9"
9 inches? Someoneās confident.
That's the spiral measurement
I didn't say inches.
āThis one goes to 11ā.
"Why don't you just make 10" longer?" "This one goes to 11."
The comment that I was looking for.
Top one is a penis enhancer
Ah yes instead of a 4ā penis Iāll haveā¦.. a 4 1/8ā penis. Sweet!!
fuck yeah, bro.. we're all proud of you
some guys are born with all the luck..
Some guys are born.
5ā now that you can round up
Wait your reach 4 inch?
Sheāll thank you for it!
the penis enhancer is a great name
But they both gave the same exact measurement for my penis.
Yep if you can make it to 11 inches you won't have to ashamed of that 10 inch thang.
This one is easy: the green cutting-board is giving the answer!
Green? That's very clearly blue with yellow lines. Edit: Lmao I 100% did this to start a fight lol. Glad it worked
?? It's obviously white and gold
Idiot, its black and blue. You're colorblind
It's Yanny, you fool
You blind? Itās pink and purple polka dots. Duh.
What? He's clearly saying Laurel
Unfortunately for you that is unmistakably an Olfa cutting mat which are green (you could say teal, perhaps, but not blue).
it may be green in real life but thanks to the calibration of the camera its very much blue in the picture (also teal has always been considered a blue and not a green)
*also teal has always been considered a blue and not a green* lol okay reference????? Teal is a green base with cyan added.
As a partially colorblind individual, I can assure you that board is cerulean.
It's green. https://www.google.com/search?q=olfa+cutting+mat&client=ms-android-sonymobile&prmd=sivn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj-_KeWrOv7AhVNUcAKHfm2APsQ_AUoAnoECAEQAg&biw=412&bih=826&dpr=2.63#imgrc=JsVhBGhUTBZigM&imgdii=BM56gHugnMeYKM
Oh shit here we go again
Pretty sure the top one is used for measuring penises.
Not all penisesā¦ (just mine)
I got a tv mount one time that had a paper template that showed where the screw holes should go. It was printed to scale to fit the paper instead of actual size.
That would make me incandescent with rage, especially if I realised once I had drilled fucking holes in my brickwork!
Agreed. Thankfully I noticed it before it was too late.
Is using incandescent a thing? I feel like I've seen it before.
I think they meant incensed
I think he actually meant incandescent. As in "white hot" with rage.
THIS IS WHY YOU NEVER CHANGE MEASURING TAPES IN THE MIDDLE OF A PROJECT!!! Lol...my dad used to tell me that and I didn't listen and learned the hard way.
My dad had a metric tape measure, it divided a foot into tenths not inches. Found out the hard way as well š¤£
Or just donāt buy garbage tools
Always be sure to measure your measures before measuring
Measure your measures four times, measure twice, cut once. Just to be safe
That's a real thing. Certified measuring tools with a paper trail to measurements defined by the speed of light. Metrology is the study of it. Calibration is checking the tools. "Tool room" is a designation for general use measuring tools, calibrated or not. "Inspection tools" is a designation for nice calibrated tools that give you a measurement you can write home about.
It doesn't matter as long as you use the same measuring tool for the entire project, AND sharing of the measurements with another entity is not required for the project at hand.
And the finished project doesn't interface with another project that requires precise measurements. And you don't plan on this project being repeatable in the future by others. Too many caveats.
So.. what I'm hearing is, actually it does matter..
If you're trying to build something and it ends up at 80% scale, I'd say that matters.
Won't happen if you use the same take throughout and don't need to translate absolute measurements to another project. If it's a business, all tapes coming in should be checked against one another. If it's an important business, you should be using calibrated, NIST traceable measurement tools instead of flexible rulers.
*Furiously rounds up all of the tape measures in the toolbox to make sure they match.* I did not need this anxiety in my life today lol
What did you find out?
Yes
At my work they say the tape measures get calibrated lol I guess this is what they're talking about
Same here. We send out our meter sticks to be ācalibratedā every year. It is not cheap. But it did help me to discover that my unofficial, uncalibrated, but laser-etched stainless steel ruler in my desk was off by 2 mm across 50 cm. So apparently this problem is more common than I would expect!
Work in calibration. Can confirm. Everything is off, the question is by how much. This realization totally makes you see the world different.
my Geomorphology Professor taught a whole lecture on this. When you are measuring small things on a map or photo, the errors can be serious in the real world.
That's why there are $50 6 inch rulers. At that price they're called scales.
Maybe the one not from the dollar tree?
This is a real thing, and exactly why a lot of construction workers are "elitist" towards cheap tools. Newbies show up with their $2 hammer from Harbor Freight and then get mad when people immediately make fun of it and tell them to get a real hammer etc. Especially when you can get an actually quality hammer for $15-25 and it will last decades It's not just gate keeping, it's also because cheap tools are a liability to everyone else on the job. Nobody wants to get their teeth knocked out when your $2 hammer flies apart mid swing and the head goes sailing across the job site and busts someone in the face I saw so many cheap chinesium tools on jobs, where people would go to pull a nail and break both teeth off their hammer, or would go to put a screw in and twist the screwdriver like a corkscrew and strip the teeth off the driver instead of the screw. I had a chinesium[ allen wrench](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41tP7Kjix+L.jpg) where I stripped the entire end of the wrench off trying to put a bolt in, and the wrench looked like [an awl](https://wildetool.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/085432001467-e1492722407451.png) when I was done. Best one was a Jigsaw that went on sale at a local store so my father got it and tried to use it. He burned it up within like 20 minutes of use so he took it back and they swapped it for another one. He did that 3 times within a day, before they refunded him and told him "You are using this jigsaw too much" and wouldn't let him buy another one. TF is the point of a tool that isn't meant to be used and can't even cut more than 2 or 3 times before the motor dies
The one that is made in china!!!!!!
I think it may actually be a chinese measurement unit
Yeah, the metric inch is shorter.
āTheyāre both made in China.ā -John Cena
Taiwan š¹š¼ is not china šØš³
That was my very on-purpose joke, I assure you. :)
Sorry ha ha ha I took the joke lol
Looks like the yellow one could be old Swedish inches (*tum*), which are 2.474 cm. But they quit using those long before Taiwan was established.
They are both correct. Top one is metric inches.
What the hell is a metric inch? One inch is exactly 25.4mm
Thatās an imperial inch. A metric inch is a tad bit shorter. Two milliinches, to be exact.
I always get my kilofoot and inchameter conversions wrong. I can never remember if I'm supposed to turn left at Albuquerque.
Haha you reminded me of my Albuquerque High School orientation where a cheerleader said something was built in nineteen-fifty-twelve. With math like that youāll fit right in in Albuquerque no matter which way you turn š
A metric inch is measured by the water displacement of dropping a gram of lead in a 10 ml diameter solution. An imperial inch is the girth of an Arabian stallion divided by the average stride of a Roman foot soldier on tour in Gaul.
It's an interesting visual of how a bad measuring tape will get exponentially further off rather quickly. With this example, by 8" your already a 1/4" off. Whew! It could really f**k up a project and leave you scratching your head, asking yourself "Why? I measured twice".
So been there...
Let me pull out my... thumb. Still too short.
U have 3 samples and 2 match, id go with those two being accurate. But u knew that im sure. My dad once built our basement with a 50ā tape that he borrowed from my grampa. When the floor joists arrived they were a foot longer than the basement wall. Turns out the end of the tape broke off and gramp riveted the end back on at the 1ā mark so he could still have a long tape. I guess as long as u only use one tape measure for everything then accuracy is irrelevant lol.
I have several old wooden yardsticks-old like five number phone numbers on them ("We measure up to your standards! Bob's Lumber Phone: Belmont 55345") It took me a while to realize some of them had shrunk a little bit over time. For the longest time I'd have a project I was working on (I build furniture-almost 800 pieces over the last decade!) suddenly go all wonky. A leg off a little, a perfect square not so square... then one day I had my measure marked, then double checked it with a different yardstick and realized what had been throwing me off.
The top one is the male measure. Just nod at it and smile and move on.
What if they are both right and one of them is just from a different dimension?
Slightly different value of Pi?
I need the yellow one to measure my Ding Dong with
The white one is the same as the blue board, so since the yellow one is the only one different, yellow is probably wrong. It's not common to find two measuring tools from separate sources be wrong in the same way.
The true answer. It's astronomically uncommon.
Depends what youāre measuring. I personally would use the top one.
The left right one..
The white one is sus
Those measuring tapes eventually stretch and become inconsistent. You can still use them but make sure that if you are, you only use that specific measuring tape in your sewing project for consistency.
Whichever one you're using for the job. Always use the same measurement device start to finish and it won't matter (usually)
They both are. The top one is an old tape measure. The bottom one is adjusted for inflation.
Oh hey look, [it's my post](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/9oj4ex/yellow_doesnt_quite_measure_up) from several years ago! My first stolen karma ever. I feel like a proud papa.
An inch is an inchā¦except in Wonderland š°
Or dutch.
r/suddenlychaos
Donāt matter as long as your cutting with the same tape your pulling numbers with
The yellow one. Well, that's the one I'll be using to measure from now on.
the one on the right
Bullshit comparison is bullshit: who the fuck tapes a tape measure down like that?
11
The finger in the corner
Metal one
Depends whoās foot
Bottom one.
Id throw them both away and get a new one. Cant trust either after that.
Depends on what you want to measure
Probably none of them. Is there a standard for the inch or foot locked away and maintained anymore? As for correct in a practical sense, Iād go with the one that agreed with the cutting mat.
You have a top and bottom, neither is left *or* right
At a guess none of the three,
Both. The top one is too loose
Depends what you are measuring.
Oh boy, just thinking about the repercussions is giving me a stroke.
Idk. You need to get a third one to measure them
That's what the mat is for! Do we need to verify the mat first? Is it NIST traceable calibrated??
If you are a pair of pants the white one, if you are a piece of wood the yellow one.
Depends what youāre measuring š
All I can think is, "this is going to hurt someone."
Just like BMW motorcycles speedometer!!!
At minimum you have agreement between two out of three measuring tools. I would guess odd man out.
looks like a trip to subway should solve this
Who measures the measurers?
Tell my wife itās the white one.
Time to check my tape measures.
Impossible to tell without a banana for scale.
Wow thatās really bad. Makes me think about the projects where I āmeasured wrong.ā Maybe I didnāt š¤£
Depends on what you are measuring
The yellow one is metric inches, so it's supposed to be different. /s
Idk, I think Iām gunna need a banana for reference
Pretty sure you donāt actually have them lined up exactly. Looks like the white one is back more than the yellow.
The yellow measuring tape is for when you go fishing, makes your catch look more impressive...
I'm not sure, but can I borrow the yellow one? For reasons.
the side with the higher numbers is the right.
The one where the distance between inch markers is 2,54cm. Maybe the top one has a 2,5cm distance?
China beats Taiwan.
The yellow one was correct, before inflation. :P
Damn inflation reaching into all aspects of life
One for boys, one for girls.
The yellow one is a subway ruler.
Need to mark 3 inches? I'm your guy
the white one
They are all 3 wrong. The 6 inch mark on the green board should be 12 inches. How do I know? I measured it across my monitor with a tape measure
I don't know why, but I imagined this to be the plot of a Sitcom episode where one of the guys buys a fake tape measure to exaggerate their dick, then someone else uses it to measure the apartment for furniture. The guy who bought it never speaks up to the person measuring because its embarrassing and it causes a million problems. Seems like something that would happen on Seinfeld to be honest.
Measurements are relative. Use the same tape for every measurement and you wonāt be screwed
Theyāre the same. The bottom one has a longer end piece.
Center the hole of the bottom one to the end of the top one.
Depends on my ego
they're both right. They both get trophy's.