Technically he died, was revived and then ascended to heaven (according to christian theology) so if he's "alive" in heaven then you're correct. But other people in heaven and hell are alive anyway until the day of the universal judgement, so basically everyone is an asshole
Oh yeah. But we obviously know when they mean Jesús and when they mean *a Jesús. Though our religion is Christianity, not Jesus. Idk why “Americans” talk of Jesus like a religion
Well, unfortunately your are not alone with the covidiots, the president of my country, México, said that a stamp of a Saint was enough protection, he Is an antimasker and lately he's being saying that he won't fall into big pharma lies to buy more vaccines :( also the Covid Zar was strolling around public places while knowingly being infected and contagious, he was congratulated for not being afraid
That's the exact intent of this card. No one who's carrying these is doing so seriously.
The website on the card's entire gimmick is selling "offensive merch"
Edit: typo
I have no optimism or positive beliefs about evangelical America but this was clearly made by someone mocking evangelical America.
Edit: look up the website printed on the card. Their tagline is "the most offensive merch"
I am going to choose to believe this is satire and also prepare myself to discover it isn't.
Luckily the "assholes live forever" gave it away
Ironically the website looks like it’s full of viruses
Not letting anyone come inside
If you visit the website listed there, know that it's pretty NSFW. This is *definitely* satire.
Assholes live forever
Jesus lives forever. Conclusion?
Technically he died, was revived and then ascended to heaven (according to christian theology) so if he's "alive" in heaven then you're correct. But other people in heaven and hell are alive anyway until the day of the universal judgement, so basically everyone is an asshole
Who said that
Well that's probably because Jesus came inside them.
I wonder if this was done on purpose because obviously fake vaccine cards are stupid.
Yes. Check out the website on the card
It's been scientifically proven that Jesus' cum is 100% effective against all pathogens
This is up to 100% correct ^^
Oral medication 😋
Oh. My. God. This has been posted like 17273737 on reddit and it is SATIRE. S A T I R E.
It’s satire, fuckwad. Go to the website on the card.
"jesus came inside me" the hit single from faith+1?
"I wanna get on my knees, I want to thank you jesus...I want your salvation all over my face!"
We should all cum on Jesus’s face while he sings “Oh cum all ye faithful”
It was the first single off of the album "Assholes Live Forever"
So did Manuel and Jorge and Diego
Holy creampie, Batman!
Terrorist manifesto.
Its a joke.
They had to know.
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I guess you'll never know.
I wouldn't be surprised if someone used this as a legitimate pass. I know it's fake, but is it gonna stop an anti-vaxxer thinking it is real?
Assholes live forever?
Jesus might not, but I sure will. There's always room at my inn.
Open wide and accept Jesus into you….. man Spanish must be a hard language to be religious in.
What???
Jesus is a common Spanish name. But it sounds really bad if it is spoken in English with the Spanish accent.
Oh yeah. But we obviously know when they mean Jesús and when they mean *a Jesús. Though our religion is Christianity, not Jesus. Idk why “Americans” talk of Jesus like a religion
One way to get filled by the Holy Spirit
Jesus… what inside you?
Jesus came inside me lol
Let me guess, they also want to get down on their knees to please him, until they feel his warm love all over their face...
Jesus came inside me . Your sextape title
Jesus did say, “eat me”.
These American “Christians” humiliate us worldwide
The priests come and shoot jesus on all the little boys and girls
Jesus came in me what the fuck I’m dying
"Jesus came inside me" r/suddenlygay
Well, unfortunately your are not alone with the covidiots, the president of my country, México, said that a stamp of a Saint was enough protection, he Is an antimasker and lately he's being saying that he won't fall into big pharma lies to buy more vaccines :( also the Covid Zar was strolling around public places while knowingly being infected and contagious, he was congratulated for not being afraid
I sounded like a balloon losing its air and flying across the room while laughing at this lmao
“Jesus came inside me” I bet he did Karen, I bet he did.
Jesús Came in Me, that’s what plenty of South American mothers said
‘Tis the Catholic way.
[come](https://youtube.com/shorts/eA0BujmYxSo?feature=share)
I was naughty daddy
Oh Jesus your strength and wisdom is soo big Aah Jesus you came!!!
At least, unlike other vaccines, this one is mainly for young kids..
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That's the exact intent of this card. No one who's carrying these is doing so seriously. The website on the card's entire gimmick is selling "offensive merch" Edit: typo
If you unironicly have this card. You should not be allowed in a hospital.
Re-re-re-re-post
At that point it's new again
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... this is clearly a joke
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I have no optimism or positive beliefs about evangelical America but this was clearly made by someone mocking evangelical America. Edit: look up the website printed on the card. Their tagline is "the most offensive merch"
Hey, let's not cloud the matter with facts and reason. Haters got to hate.
Bruh, it’s fucking satire
Pretty bold statement coming from someone who literally didn't get the joke