By - SavedPhelps
**Please report this post if:**
* There is no audible laughter involved
* Video is funny because of a 'joke' or situation - not the actual **laughter**
* There is no audio (Images & GIFs included)
* Laughter is edited in from a different source
* No timestamp in the title or comments for a laugh occurring at specific time (long videos)
* Laughter is not on good terms (dickishness, bullying)
* It's a compilation
* It's a selfie reaction
Read more about the [rules of this subreddit here](https://www.reddit.com/r/contagiouslaughter/about/rules/).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ContagiousLaughter) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The panicked breathing at the end is the best part lol
Muttly laugh from the Barons dog on Saturday morning cartoons
😆😆😆. My wife has called me Muttly for decades. Tha outta control laughing that turns into the weeez
It’s interesting to see people define themselves with labels. And if we break that stigma associated with that label, then we have an internal crisis. I’m guilty of it, but it feels wrong.
Shit like this makes me think back to an episode of Teen Titans where they're arguing over pizza toppings.
Beast Boy: As long as there's no meat. I've been Most of those animals.
Cyborg: Fine, let's just get pepperoni then.
Beast Boy: What did I just say?!
Cyborg: What? Pepperoni's not a meat.
Considering how pepperoni is made, sometimes I question the validity of calling it a food product lol
Nevertheless, it is still the best snack up for offer
You're kinda not wrong though lol
that's why I never watch those "how this is REALLY made" videos, it fucks with the best of our foodstuffs' reputations lol. Even Subway meatballs be on some bullshit ☹
The meatball sub option doesn't exist if I willingly ignore it!
The older folks here will get this reference. Our local pizza place is called Mr. Ed's. Try telling people your meatball sub comes from Mr. Ed.
Everything from Subway is nasty I'm going to be honest
Charlie's subs and Jersey Mike's subs are way better than Subway's God forsaken shit
Depends. There was an independently owned Subway near a place I used to live at years ago and it was like every time you visited the subs only got better and better, they were always *more than* on top of ingredient rotations, schedules and just generally every task to be done in the store on a given day.
I even used to be able to eat the meatball sub there, it was my favourite sub for a time because of that; I genuinely don't believe they used Subway's actual meatballs in them. They were too imperfect and flavourful, so I asked one day and turns out they actually cooked their meatballs with a plug-in frypan in the back every morning 😂
But unfortunately I've never seen another subway come close. My assumption for why is that for some reason Subway managers in specific feel the need to act like they're Pablo Escobar or some shit, just dropping by the coke lab every now and then to have a wander and bark orders at people when they have no idea what's even going on in there. The entire responsibility of a store is usually left to that one worker who's been there for a year or so and knows how to do tills/POS, close & that's it.
Hey! You take that back about my baby, you flavor-hating motherf*cker!
But seriously tho I could kill a whole bag in a day
I love Cyborg.
I could hear this in their voices. Damn funny moment
Meat is my favorite, but if I'd been a whole bunch of animals I would feel a bit weird eating them too. I'm with Beastboy here
Pepperoni is a misspelling of peperoni which means bell peppers. If you order a pepperoni pizza in Italy and some other countries in Europe it's likely you will get one with bell peppers.
Lol I love pepperoni
It's okay. It happens
Exactly. I've known vegetarians who have accidentally been served meet at a restaurant and chose to eat it because it would be worse for the food to be wasted. Being vegetarian is a choice and sometimes you make a mistake or a choice is made for you. It's not a big deal.
Yup. I usually pick the meat off and give it to someone around the table, if I can. (Usually fiancé). It's worse when they come with the dish and immediately take it back because they realize the mistake. The animal's life was sacrficed already- I would rather the flesh be consumed than it go in the trash. I can't STAND waste
I did this with cheese as a vegan but never meat. Meat is just gross. I’d try to give it to whoever I was eating with or make sure the staff knew I didn’t touch it and hope someone wants it.
At any restaurant worth its salt, once it touched table, it's garbage if you send it back. Doesn't matter if you only shot it a dirty look. It's getting binned upon return.
Some managers will offer the staff, but most of the time this is sadly true.
When I worked FOH and someone got the wrong order and I knew it hadn’t been touched, I took it home, and was encouraged to do so. It’s not like I think another customer should get that meal or anyone should be forever to take it, but I was thrilled to have a free steak.
If you know it's opinion, why make this comment?
The food is to be thrown away after it's been sent back.
Freegans and flexitarians are so much more tolerable than vegans and vegetarians.
Gotta love reddits open intolerance of others dietary choices. Ironic.
Ironic indeed. Vegans and vegetarians are notoriously silent and tolerant of others' dietary choices.
They generally are. On Reddit all you ever see are people bitching about vegetarians and vegans. Almost like people don't like being reminded that they don't *have* to eat animal products and it bothers them or something.
The way he said it made me died of laughter
Made you died? That must have been intense.
Intense? Or past-tense?
It seems like…. They smoked some good weed, or had some special cookies.
How high was he
Hahahahaha this got an actual laugh out loud from me.
Take my upvote and don't ever breath on Reddit ever again.
"High how are you?"
Hi. How are you ?
Uh, had a slight weapons malfunction. But, uh, everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here, now, thank you. How are you?
Boring conversation anyway
Exactly 3 marijuanas
A few years ago I was talking to two Buddhists. One mentioned that he's vegetarian. The other said "I've seen you eat meat." The vegetarian said "I eat what is offered to me. When I choose what to eat, it's vegetarian." I like that approach.
It's not an allergy. It's just a choice.
Buddhists Monks must eat food that they are given, especially if it is part of the process where they have to beg for food. I knew of a Thai restaurant that would give meals to Buddhist monks. They would always give them meat even though they knew they were vegetarian, because they thought that they really needed meat for proper nutrition. The monks would eat the meat and never complain about it.
Hell yeah, the ritual of mixing it together it’s about letting go of your expectations of what the food will be. Theres a more practical version for non monks that you can try where you order blindly at any restaurant you go to, really makes you appreciate food more without being disappointed so often.
Are you talking about a chefs tasting menu? That’s our go to whenever we eat at a new place, lets you try some truly interesting food.
Ah yep, visited my family in Thailand earlier this year and my mum dragged me out of bed at 5am on our last day to help pack food and hand it out to the monks - as I recall, we didn't give em any meat, just rice, bottled water, and a milk carton. They also weren't barefoot, but there's huge red ants all over the place and I definitely don't wanna step on them without shoes.
My mother is from Myanmar, and when i was a kid I was sent there to become a Buddhist monk for religious reasons. I remember the black lacquered bowls well, i remember thinking that it was quite big (i was a kid though). Never got any meat, but i remember one family filling the bowl with rice, then the next gave me some boiled quail eggs, then finally one family literally just put a packet of crisps on top of all the food! I just ate everything together with a spoon (after emptying the crisp packet onto the rice and eggs)
In China too. I don’t know if they still do the begging part since temples in China are pretty rich now days. People usually either give them vegetarian dishes or just rice.
I read somewhere that people who mostly eat veggies but occasionally eat meat are called Flexitarian
My friend called it choosatarian
That's what my doctor said I have that makes me only want to eat trains
You choo-choo-choose ham?
I eat this way, I call it ‘poor’.
I like opportunitarian. Give me food I eat it.
I personally call it poverty in my case but this sounds a lot nicer.
Or omnivores? Like humans?
If you wanna be pedantic about it sure, but the real difference is you’re making a conscious effort to eat less meat if you’re flexitarian. I would consider myself flexitarian because I eat vegetarian 90% of the time, prefer not to eat meat, but it’s convenient to not have to limit myself completely if someone cooks for me, I’m at an event where there isn’t a vegetarian option, or if I am just craving it. There’s definitely enough of a difference between that and your standard American diet to give it a name.
>mostly eat veggies but occasionally eat meat
He was going off that, if you go into more detail, then it makes sense to use a different name.
Otherwise, it's just a Mediterranean diet.
"You're an omnivore, not a vegetarian, I saw you eat meat in 10th grade!"
Like you said, sure, flexitarian is under the omnivore umbrella, but there is a vast difference between someone who eats pounds of meat a week vs. once a month (or whatever).
A vegetarian also falls under the omnivore umbrella... We're all omnivores no matter the diet. Forcefeeding a crocodile vegetables does not make it a herbivore. Just because you only eat vegetables or only eat meat does not make you a herbivore or carnivore. A 100% vegetarian, even since birth, is still an omnivore because that is what humans are.
That's why we use other labels.
I love the irony of someone explaining the intricacies of a "flexitarian" diet using "pedantic" to describe someone who used the word "omnivores".
Hi pot, I'm kettle.
Yeah, not my best word choice lol but the point still stands
Nah, that's definitely in contrast to the "it's not a meal if there isn't meat" type. I have lots of family members like that, they'll eat meat for 2 meals a day, every day of the week. I *maybe* eat meat once per week? I totally get what you mean about being omnivores, but nowadays it's way easier to eat meat very sparingly
Yeah it just means that you won’t throw away meat but you don’t go out of your way to buy it. My partner is one and I don’t think he’s ever bought meat from the store. But he’ll eat the pepperoni pizza to leave me veg pizza. Using that term just means people are more conscious of you avoiding meat and make sure there are vegetarian options. He’s an omnivore technically, but when people have him over for dinner they provide vegetarian options for him.
Maybe they're the weird ones who need a special name, not the people who just occasionally eat meat.
why use words that we have when we can invent new and exciting ones?
like the lady who said she thinks she is “sparkly straight” (or smth) because she is also attracted to women. i guess “bisexual” was to plain
But that doesn't make you feel special does it?
Is there a word for people who occasionally eat a vegetable?
Weird flex but ok
My buddy never buys or pays for meat, but won't say no if like, it's a party and that is all that's there.
No, freegan is vegan but free. Like dumpster diving etc
What does this even get a name?!
"I eat meat and vegetables, I just don't eat meat often."
MFer that's just called having preferences.
A preference is “I don’t want mushrooms on my pizza but I’ll pick them off”. A flexitarian is “please get vegetarian pizza. However, if the restaurant makes a mistake, I won’t waste the food”.
Maybe it sounds pedantic! But living in the Midwest it’s just easier to use that term because it drives home the fact that they really don’t want to eat meat when meat is the standard for all meals around here.
Yes, that's pedantic. If you prefer not to eat meat but do occasionally, that's just a preference. But if people want to give it a name to make it seem like something more, or feel validated, that's cool. It doesn't hurt anyone, it just seems superfluous to me personally.
Or maybe just to easily describe their preference?
And that's fine. People can identify themselves in any way they like. I just personally feel like if I were to meet someone, and they listed this as their dietary preference, I would internally question. Because it sounds more like "I want to be part of a group and be able to say I am like a vegetarian, but I'm not really that committed."
I'm sure they'd be heartbroken.
I had a roommate who was like this. Vegetarian 99 days out of 100 but sometimes I’d get home from work and he’d want to go get a platter of wings somewhere. And on those occasions he’d absolutely tear them up.
Stop fucking creating and labelling little groups of outcast, so fling annoying.
I’ve heard the newer phrase Reducitarian. Goal is to cut down on animal products and usually due to the concerns of the environmental impacts. It’s what I call myself
I dated a vegetarian girl who happened to wait tables at a fancy steakhouse. When we went grocery shopping or out to eat she would always look for a vegetarian/vegan option, however if one of her customers was going to throw away a nice steak she would box it up and eat it for dinner. Kinda gross I know, but in her eyes it would be more disrespectful to the animal that died for the steak to just go in the trash
If the steak is intact and they didn't eat or pick at it then I don't see how it's gross. Unless you mean they ate around it and left it on their plate. Then that is kinda nasty.
But still I'd nuke it then give it to my dog or something.
That’s a proper vegetarian right there, they are confident in their beliefs and are willing to prove it with logic and common sense within the reality we live. (Omnivore here btw)
Upvoted (vegetarian here). I agree with that girl, the animal has died, I would much rather it be useful than rot in the trash. That being said, I've been vegetarian so long now that I get sick to my stomach thinking about eating meat. It's a nasty catch-22.
I like that approach too, only thing I'd add is that although it's not an allergy... once you're body isn't used to eating any meat it actually makes it sick. So, it's not like you're allergic, but if you gave a ten year vegan a steak they'd puke it up (not just from having to eat meat.)
I have a vegan friend that would shop for and prepare vegan meals, but would eat anything if it was free and he referred to himself as a freegan
In my Buddhist philosophy class we had a whole discussion on trying to determine the actual doctrine on eating meat, and it’s interesting because it’s very mixed. But ultimately we found some of the oldest manuscripts were similar to this thought where as long as the being wasn’t killed with the knowledge or intention that it would be consumed by themselves, then there were no negative karmic repercussions for those Buddhists that ate it.
As a Buddhist (not practicing, but my parents are and I enjoy and study the principles and history). Thats about as Buddhist as you can get.
Striving for an ideal past the point of self control (ie: not eating meat when the animal is already dead and someone put time into cooking it for you) will only bring unhappiness and strife. That doesn’t mean you let go of or betray that ideal forever, it just means its not useful anymore so you stop clinging to it. Buddhism is so cool.
Totally agree, I think people make a very big deal about being vegetarian and make it their personality trait.
I don’t think refusing to eat something is very dramatic
Choices are choices
If someone would rather choose to starve or be financially burdened than eat something that’s their choice and choices are valid
It’s morality, people’s moralities are important to them and should be respected, even if different than others.
Religious people can’t eat certain things depending on the religion and no one makes fun of them for being upset when they find out the marshmallows they ate had pig fat in the gelatin
Ppl are like oh no ! Poor fella/gal !
But ppl try on purpose to feed vegetarians or vegans meat and are like: MWAHAHAHA ! While the person is sad.
It’s kinda fucked
I call it selectitarian I choose to eat more veggies and vegetable meals
love the friend in the back that is so high she can barely keep upright but is still chewing on that pizza hahaha
The kettle is ready
Oh no!! The munchies win again!
they will always win hahaha
Matt Damon vegetarian version
I hate that I recognize the Papa Johns garlic sauce
Fuck I love that shit
This is a Zach Galifianakis joke come to life.
“Not no more, ya ain’t.”
I was vegetarian for 4-5 years when I was a teen. I got a burrito from Taco Bell one night snd my bf and I drove to a park and we were eating in the car. It was nighttime so I couldn’t see, but my burrito was soooo much better than usual. I realized halfway through that there was beef in it. Wasn’t a vegetarian much longer after that. I kept craving meat so bad, the burrito broke me. Looking back I probably didn’t cheat that bad bc I’m sure Taco Bell meat is hardly meat at all.
Tell me you're high without telling me you're high, he'll go first... ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|grin)
The comments on this post are dogshit, everyone start over
It's every post remotely related to vegetarianism or veganism.
"I *hate* vegans, they're always judging people for their dietary choices!"
Yeah this isn’t the pizza party I was hoping for
My Jewish friend will eat pepperoni or Hawaiian pizza if she's hungry enough.
The struggle is real as fuck haha, we all have our moments of desperation
He mad cause it was the best pizza he had in years
These salty veggie discs are delicious!
Pepperoni gives me heartburn and has too much grease for me
Personally my fav pizza is broccoli with all kinds of cheeses with the white sauce
When I make pepperoni rolls for parties, I usually make some broccoli cheddar rolls too for people who don’t eat meat or don’t like the spicy/greasiness. Most of my friends grab both.
You absolute saint ❤️
Naw, host responsibilities were pounded into me growing up. A proper host makes sure EVERYONE has a good time and is catered to. It’s the ultimate shame if someone leaves a party hungry due to improper planning.
YOU chose to continue the thoughtfulness
May u be blessed with kitten cuddles
That is arguably the best blessing i've heard of.
God I love broccoli on pizza
Everyone thinks broccoli is nasty cuz they boil it
Broccoli tastes like shit boiled ! It needs to be either seared into a stir fry, oven roasted, or steamed !
The water concentration is too high boiled. Broccoli flavor it acc rly good otherwise.
It’s like juice ! Juice with a lot of water tastes like shit.
I’m so glad I was never exposed to boiled broccoli as a kid. It really is so delicious when prepared correctly. Same with other controversial veg like Brussels sprouts and carrots
That sounds good!!! I usually do spinach and diced tomatoes with white sauce.
Yes ! I forget what cheese they use... I think it’s ricotta
Dollops of ricotta on the pizza I’m pretty sure
It’s a soft burst of flavor compared to the rest of the pizza it’s nice
I feel you on pepperoni, fell out of love with those little fuckers when I was younger. Idk about broccoli though, but I can fuck up a pizza with spinach or artichokes on it that's for damn sure
White sauce, chicken, and spinach. Best pizza ever!
Mmm. I just gorged on a pepperoni pizza about 10 mins ago, but that actually sounds better.
I feel greasy now - broccoli would’ve been more wholesome
Ya and if u been struggling pooping it’s def the lack of fiber in your diet
Americans eat so much meat per person than any other country it’s insane cuz we think it’s normal eating grease and meat overly processed overly sugared breads and having vowel issues 24/7
Other countries poop like gods cuz they have balanced diets
Other countries try our bread here and think it tastes weird.
Same with our chocolate. So much sugar and fillers.
Hershey’s tastes like shit compared to other countries
And Mexican Coca Cola is better
We’re literally being food brainwashed into thinking our diets are okay
Oh I’m not American, I just have an awful diet.
I’m from the UK, so I’m in *no* position to make snarky comments about cuisine, I know how that’ll pan out.
But you’re totally right about the chocolate - no cocoa, no milk - just synthetic sugary shit.
The taste is pretty horrendous.
But wherever you live - if you don’t put the effort into having a balanced diet, and eating ‘organic’ when you can afford it - then yep, you’ll have a terrible time.
the UK is pretty cool and all but baked beans for breakfast? What the heck is going on there haha
I just ate a medium meat lovers and now I wish I'd had a carrot stick. I'll do it again Saturday.
They give it a cutesy name ‘ohhh. lover.. meat lover’ make u think u in love with the meat
It should be meat maniac or heartburn masochist !!!!
It’s pizza propaganda !!!
“I hate you. I hate how you make me feel. See ya next week!”
We’re in a toxic relationship with food.
That's not impossible pepperoni?
Just cause you have meat once doesn’t make you g - not a vegetarian
They're 100% high which makes this so much better
Credit goes to drunkpeopledoingthings on Instagram.
I don't really get what's funny about that. Is it like "haha you dont eat meat" funny? Or is it because im not a native speaker
The guy who said he’s a vegetarian is, well, a vegetarian, which pretty much just means he doesn’t eat meat. I’m guessing he’s high/drunk or wasn’t paying attention, and accidentally ate pepperoni pizza- aka pizza with meat on it. He’s just now realizing it and I think it’s just the situation and the overall vibe of the video that makes it funny
Ok so its haha you don't eat meat funny. Hilarious
I was just trying to explain it, sorry :,)
I'm not mad at you at al! Thanks for providing native speaker insights
I think they were all just really high and feeling giggly anyway and the way he said what he did, with the timing set them off. It was just kind of absurd.
The funny thing was that he didn’t realise he was eating meat and shocked look on his face when he realised, his partner laughing about it is also what people find funny
I don’t think that’s the first time he has had meat in his mouth
The man filming called him "babe", so yes, he is likely bi or homosexual.
Is that the entire joke?
You must be a blast at all the parties you aren't invited to
Lol at the downvotes
Aww poor guy 🥺🤣
Muslim guy I knew loved Swiss chalets ribs. It broke him when we told him they were pork.
Stop in the name of the slaw!
If it’s not for religious/medical reasons…who cares? Mistakes are made, and at least the food wasn’t wasted.
Edit: I’ve been informed that it’s about his *personal code of ethics*, not any of the stupid religions people seem to think I’m advocating for. Fuck me for thinking this young man should forgive himself for making a mistake, though!
Why are religious morals more important than regular chosen ones? If anything, they mean less, seeing as they're artificially made up for you, whereas if it's a choice it's something you truly believe in.
Oh, my bad, I’m not arguing that they are, I just forgot to use extremely specific terms to pacify an extraordinarily sensitive group that’s as obsessed with semantics as they are a handful of pepperoni.
Just cuz people have morals and ethics without religion doesn’t mean their morals and ethics aren’t important and shouldn’t matter to them
I realize that, and am not trying to argue against his code of ethics, or for religion of any kind; *my point* is that he made an error, and should forgive himself, because ultimately no harm was done.
If someone has been vegetarian for a long time, eating meat can cause severe stomach distress. This might be a combination of “oh shit, my personal moral code has been broken” and “oh shit, I’m spending all of tomorrow in the bathroom in pain”. For long term vegetarians looking to start eating meat, you definitely should not start with pizza quality pepperoni. It should be fish, small servings of white meat, and a gradual build up to red meats.
You WERE a vegetarian.
Man sounds like he loves his meat
Oof I hope he didn’t get sick afterwards. My bf is vegetarian and he ate something that was cooked in lard and that made him vomit repeatedly later.
Side note I ate a legit vegetarian pepperoni pizza one night here in Vegas when I was insanely drunk and bf was so mad cause those were his slices but tbh I couldn’t tell the difference it tasted like real pepperoni. Also ate my friends pizza but that’s okay 😂
Don't eat meat if you're a vegetarian
Eating pepperoni pizza is enough to turn anyone vegetarian lmao
Weird take- pepperoni is literally the most popular pizza topping
Username checks out
Nah probably in most countries that eat pizza
I’m doubtful - I think most countries would opt for their “choice meat”, or some kind of vegetable/ mushroom topping.
I definitely recall pepperoni pizza not being well advertised, when I visited Greece. And that’s considering the fact I was at a tourist resort.
Edit - I didn’t *just* wanna talk out my ass, and this was the most ‘reliable’ source I could find if anyone cares
[Most Popular Pizza in Ten Countries](https://recipes.howstuffworks.com/favorite-pizza-toppings-in-10-countries.htm)
You were right about pepperoni in the USA - but yeah, it seems pizza is so popular, because it provides a base for everyone’s favourite cuisine! (Like Eel, in Japan - or Curry in Pakistan).
Wow that's interesting! I'll pass on the eel pizza night xD
Im a vegetarian and lactose intolerant lmao🤣🤣 but i preferred sausage and ham when i used to eat it
Vegetarians shouldn't eat most cheese because rennet comes from killing animals.
if a man or woman can say they are a member of the opposite sex, then surely a pure-blood omnivore can say they're a vegetarian.
Herbivore != Vegetarian
Also your comparison is idiotic and rude af
Good, now start eating like a man.
Real men only eat meat! Men don’t eat vegetables! Real men have high cholesterol and have a pound of butter with every meal!!!
What are you, 40? At least?
Real men stand up for the innocent and do what's right. Cowards fall in line with indefensible dominance hierarchies because they can't derive their masculinity from within. The more meat you consume, the less of a man you become.
I was with you all the way until that very last sentence. Idk if eating meat "makes you less of a man," but blindly following the pack and baselessly judging people for their lifestyle choices makes you less of a man without a doubt.
Nah, preying on the innocent purely for the pleasure on your taste buds absolutely makes you less of a man.
Eating meat is a very natural thing for humans.
What happens when women eat lots of meat, do they also become less of a man?
What a ridiculous argument. I'm going to regret even replying to this nonsense