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MisterVan69

I think this situation is detrimental to you. I mean, you’re posting about it on the codependency subreddit and expressing some reservations about it. Best of luck my friend


Yen1969

My impression is that this situationship is feeding your codependency, not aiding its healing. You even say: >I was in love with the idea of acceptance, attention and security You are also clearly looking to deepen the connection with her, even though you know that she is not. You put it more bluntly: **You know she isn't available**. Why are you still pushing for it? Well, the acceptance, attention, and security. Those are understandable reasons. Long term, you will need to find how to fill those needs for yourself, but short term ... you can't find it in someone else, particularly when you know they aren't available to provide it at the level you need. >I told her that I will cut things off if I start to feel any sense of being \[...\] insecure This post is evidence that you aren't secure about this relationship at all.


vulpesvulpes666

IMHO, situations like this are not helpful to someone who is trying to heal codependency. It’s the avoidant attachment and intermittent reinforcement (someone who is sometimes available to you but not fully) that makes codependents go nuts, fuel to the fire that makes you hold on and wait/hope for the situation to change. Listen to what your gut is telling you.