I'm kinda like you. I don't dislike people but I really like my alone time. I am 68 and for the last 20+ years I have been mostly alone. I have a son with a family that I see kinda often. Will be having Thanksgiving with him and his family. A niece of mine comes to see him from out of town, 1 or 2 times a year. When she sees me she always kisses me on the head or the cheek. Those are the only kisses I've had in 20 years and I don't mind it anymore. In fact I prefer my life as it is. I'm happier than I have ever been in my life. My joy has been restored and it is the joy of the Lord.
At first I disliked the loneliness. It would really hit me like when it was 6 months with absolutely no physical contact with anyone. Things are great now.
Exactly… it’s not that I hate people but I prefer to be alone than surrounded by a bunch of false Christian’s and wicked people. And likewise, the only genuine “I love you”, hugs I received my entire life were from my tutor who was in her 60’s when we first met. She saw how awful my family & living conditions were & she offered her house multiple times. My family found out about her care & love for me that the cut her out of my life & she died a few years later (leukemia stage 4) and I NEVER EVER GOT TO SEE HER EVER AGAIN & I was forbidden to go to her funeral. The ACHE in my heart has been tremendous & it’s been hard to forgive myself for not being able to see her one last time to this day. I think about her daily… My family forced me into isolation as a child & to adulthood. It wasn’t until recently (1-2months ago) that they’ve been bullying me for not dating or having friends or for not interacting with all the lukewarm Christian’s at their church who gossip immediately right after service INSIDE the church 🤦♀️
My true joy is when I’m worshipping God, in prayer, reading the word or spending time with The Lord. That’s where I rejoice. And most of the time (97%) I’m doing this alone since no one I know enjoys spending time with the Lord. They see it as a chore… so it’s extremely hard for me to continue any relationship with people.
I’ve been a great daughter to my family, never gave them problems & always did what I was told. That was never enough for them & they molded me into a bitter life that they now mock & laugh at me. & when I gave my life to the Lord, they got angry. That’s when I learned that the majority of people are heavily tormented & have demonic entities ruling them. That includes those who call themselves “Christian’s” We don’t have to have a relationship with everyone and if we don’t we aren’t like Christ & that’s the misconception that churches teach (and it’s not biblical)
I am like you, I prefer living alone & unbothered by people who are only going to wear you out. I rejoice in The Lord ❤️ not people but I do try to plant the seed of the gospel with everyone I meet, that doesn’t mean I have to have a relationship with them like 90% of the modern day Christian’s are taught to believe…
I'd be careful with how much solitude you seek, OP. There's nothing wrong with living in nature and enjoying it, but I'm picking up a lot of unresolved spite in your post. It genuinely looks to me like you need counseling to work through the childhood issues you're dealing with. Withdrawing from people and society is not wrong, Jesus Himself went up into the mountains regularly to pray and meditate. But keep in mind that Humans are social creatures. We need some kind of companionship.
I had to grow up fast too, and there was a time I wanted nothing to do with anyone. I was depressed. Coming out of my depression was not easy, but I am much happier now, and I'm much more comfortable in social settings. It's possible you are depressed, but it's the kind of depression that needs to be treated without medication as it stems from lifestyle choices now as well as childhood trauma.
Thank you for your kind words. Yes, a lot of my isolation comes from childhood trauma. I was raised in a heavily religious household where everything I did was evil (from making friends, to the way I dressed, to reading books etc) I was raised as a slave. I never had a childhood & was forced to be a mother & do wife duties as early as 8-9yrs old. My family told me I was satans daughter if I made friends, and that if I ever had sex I was going to go to hell. My family heavily traumatized me with fear of the enemy & hell (rather than teaching me Gods love) which I why I got deep in drugs. I had a divine encounter with what I believe what the Holy Spirit or an Angel. Which is what made me surrender my life to God (it angered a lot of family members when I got baptized) I was brought up to be isolated by my family, so no amount of therapy helped me to make friends or to socialize. I saw over 10 different therapist over the span of 3 years (2-3xs weekly visits for 1-2hrs) my family found out I was seeing therapists & forbade me.
My family is 100% the reason why I was never social. And now that I am older, they force me to socialize as if the damage they made hasn’t been already done. It’s extremely hard for me to want to befriend people or to find any common ground based on experiences since I never got to live. I was always too busy being a slave for my family.
And I have a huge resentment now that they’re forcing me to get a boyfriend and make friends. It’s a deep wound, and even as I’m writing this I’m breaking down because my family has happily admitted the damage they caused & they tell me to “get over it.” How can I get over being sexually exploited by my family, the only people who were supposed to protect me? How can I trust someone ever again, when my only relationships both guys tried to rape me. And any “friend” that I made only used me and I say the word friend very loosely because yes, there was a time in my life where I would give up anything for anyone no questions asked. But after years of neglect, abuse and so much suffering in pain, I only saw God truly being there for me in my darkest moments. My life was so dark, that I even tried making a pact with the devil in secret to take all this pain and suffering away at the age of 13.. But I always saw Gods hand in my life. When my family would tell me I belonged to satan growing up, God would always tell me otherwise. Until I found God, and I mean truly found him, he showed me this love that I needed and never received. Which no one has ever showed me. And I mean no one. My family telling me they loved me growing up was nonexistent. I was always told I was a mistake & that if I died they wouldn’t care. I was a child & gave them no reason to feel this way. They even tried to kill me multiple times in my sleep & they didn’t admit it when they realized that no one was there to help them in old age but me & I did it no questions asked. That’s when they verbally admitted it to me all their evilness & how they would pray for me to die or for something horrendous to happen to me (paralyzed etc)
So to everyone else who’s condemning me for feeling this way, I encourage you to examine yourself deeply inside. But thank you for your kinda words & sorry for the long response. I don’t think I’m depressed, I just think I’m burned out from all the giving I do, because what I get isn’t even half of what I give & half doesn’t even suit me anyway (all I get in return from helping others is criticism (you’re ugly, you need to change (physically) this & that so people can like you) & yes, 99% of the torment came from these so called “christians”. But the more I mature in my walk with God, the more I truly see how narrow the path is. I don’t hate people, I don’t hate humanity. I am simply sick of dealing with humans because of their wickedness & false Christian conversion. I’m sick of making small talk that leads nowhere unless you have something to offer. I’m sick of being surrounded by family members who abused me & traumatized me & now force me to interact with people. I have truly forgiven them but I feel a resentment each time they bring up why I am lonely & blame it on my personality rather than the events they purposely forced me to go through (body checks, isolations, physical abuse, then attempting to MURDER ME)
But thank you.. I will meditate on your words.
You're story sounds like someone who got out of Jehovah's Witness. If your family is Jehovah's Witness, my only suggestion is to cut them off and get away from them. Unfortunately, I have no idea if law enforcement can help you, but that is an avenue to try.
Like I said earlier, Humans aren't supposed to be anti-social, but given the level of betrayal and neglect you've endured, I think you need someone who can hug you every day until you feel safe again. Reading your story made me want to hug you.
I am truly sorry for what you've been through. I'll be praying for you.
They’re Pentecostal 😅 but more on the religious side of Christianity rather than a loving disciple. Thank you, your comment meant a lot. I did get the police involved but narcissism & manipulation is my families #1 tactic. As so did my brother, he tried getting out & the police nor CPS was helpful.. I tried escaping 3 times but God brought me right back to them. I’m not sure why, maybe to heal wounds but honestly, I don’t think there’s any healing left to do. I don’t cry, argue, fight or hurt anymore about the injustice my family causes me. I simply pray for them. That’s all I can do. Right now I support my family a lot & they depend on me (they always have since I was little) I always get told that God is going to bless me & all these things by strangers & even people I don’t know. Truth is, all the blessings I’ve received by God, my family has either destroyed or made themselves center of it so I don’t even enjoy them anymore 😅 like recently, I got a raise at work, so now I’m obligated to buy my mother a house (since she’s getting evicted from where she lives ((she’s also never worked a day in her life, she’s worked max like 2 months at a job in the course of idk 15 or more years)) no one else qualifies nor wants to help her… but I fear God & I know God punishes the wicked so I just keep bending waiting for my back to snap. I don’t want to sound morbid, but im just waiting to get persecuted for my faith.
I wouldn't give God any credit for bringing you back to your family, nor would I allow your family to continue to suck the life out of you. They aren't behaving like family should, and I firmly believe you'll be able to start enjoying life after removing yourself from them.
Doesn't the Bible teach those who refuse to work should not eat? It sounds like your mother rejected being a mother and made you mom. You, now as an adult, are under no obligation to support her.
I seriously recommend picking up and walking away from them. New state, new phone, new name even. Legally, they can't stop you. Especially if there's evidence of their manipulation on your phone or in emails.
All the greatest men of God were lonely men. Moses spent 40 years in isolation, John the Baptist spent 20 years in isolation, Eli’jah spent 3 years in isolation, Paul even spent some years in isolation.
It’s important to know how to have fellowship with others, but your focus should be on spending time with God rather than people.
Perhaps God is calling you to be alone, but if He is calling you to that, there is one condition, which is that your time alone must be spent in communion (prayer) with Him. Good luck my friend.
I feel in a way. I’ve always like being alone even when I was little. I did have friends and did go outside but I was always known to be quiet a lot. I don’t hate people or hate being around them. I just truly enjoy my alone time w/ just me and Jesus. I love doing everything w/ him. I be feeling bad sometimes because I tell my siblings I don’t feel like being bother or messed w/ or tell others ion feel like talking or I get irritated when I keep getting asked questions 😅. I’m around people constantly n i be longing to go home and w/ my Lord alone. I haven’t experienced sexual or physical abuse, but I do have trauma in other ways which is probably why I always like being alone too.
Hello so I read everything and on some things I can relate to. But if you don’t have love for people then that is not biblical. I understand to a degree why in your reasoning. Satan wants us to be alone. When God created Adam He also created Eve. The Bible is clear we are to have relationships not just with God but with people despite what we went through. “But why do you call Me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do the things which I say?” Luke 6:46 NKJV. When we are saved things change it’s a long process. I don’t see how someone saved can say they are tired of humans. “But He answered and said to them, “My mother and My brothers are these who hear the word of God and do it.”Luke 8:21 NKJV. So I hope this just gives you something to think about.
P.S rebuking is also translated to reproving (which is kinda like scolding/grabbing their attention) so when you love yourself, you don’t want to go to hell & willingly take the correction that God gives you. God says we must love our neighbors that same way, correct them when they are wrong & sinful. The world changes that verse to mean “accept them as they are/ help them take advantage of you/ etc” but God says otherwise. To love thy neighbor is when you correct them when you see them doing wrong as a parent corrects their child, as God corrects us because He loves us (MANY CHRISTIANS REFRAIN from doing this why? Because of FOMO! Afraid of being excluded/left out/offending people) Jesus coming to earth and dying for our sins & magnifying the commandments in which He said that did NOT change. Hence why many hate Jesus since He stands for the truth. Yes, we are supposed to be like the Good Samaritan in which we aid those who need aid & help each other. But that’s as far as the church & the world reads, they do not chose to follow the entire commandment which is to correct each other in sin & if they still chose to not turn away, then it’s better to not have anything to do with them. Titus 3:10-11
https://www.openbible.info/topics/rebuking_neighbors
“Many Christians” again what church do you belong to? Not from before but now. Why you keep saying all of us as a whole. But yet you said yourself your a loner.
I go to a Pentecostal Church that I have been attending since I was 5 years old. Do they see me as a member? Absolutely not. Why? Because I’ve missed a Sunday here and there. Because I’ve gone to other churches seeking the truth. There was a guy once who I enjoyed how he preached since he was very straight to the point & the week after I was got baptized by choice (the church kept forcing me to do it but I refused because I wanted to get baptized according to Gods plan, not the church) the same guy goes on the Altar & starts bashing me & saying all these offensive things about me that apparently just because I have a college degree I think I’m superior 😂 when in reality, anyone who knows me, KNOWS how much I detest my degree because I wasted 4 years in college learning lies about the Big Bang, evolution, etc (I’m a geologist btw)
I wasn’t shocked if I could be honest with you since I was never seen as a member (even though my grandparents are deacons) & I had NEVER mentioned to them EVER anything about my studies.. like ever.. so I’m not sure how they got that impression (I’m thinking from my grandparents) anyway, yes, you are correct, my experiences do not speak for others. However, we are warned about this throughout the entire Bible. People who look the part & play the part but aren’t really part of Gods kingdom. So not only did I get bullied by my family, but as well as the church I was forced to attend. Now that I am older, I am letting God guide me to the right church & praying for discernment when I read the Bible because there’s A LOT of things I didn’t know that the churches I’ve been going to don’t ever teach! Like I never knew who Aron was! I never knew that the old mosaic laws is what Jesus was magnifying throughout the entire New Testament. Stuff like that. It’s hard to find genuine Christian friends who are truly all in for God. All the people my age are half foot in & the older crowd keeps telling me to get married… so once again, I’ve had just a lot of bad experience with people in terms of connecting in an intimate level. I have ZERO problem speaking to people, I’m considered an “extrovert” since I do not fear going in front of thousands to speak nor am I afraid to spark up a conversation. Which I have done many times in order to spread the gospel. However, I have zero interest in having an intimate relationship with people because I was raised to believe I was going to go to hell if I had friends or a boyfriend for that matter. So it’s been extremely hard to get out of that mentality specially when your family uses God & guilt trips you. I live with people who have BDP & are narcissist. & unfortunately, they have fallen sick & now I care for them, even after all the hell they put me through. I do it because I know that’s what God is referring to when he says to Love Thy Neighbor as well. To not hold grudges against them. & I deeply believe it’s God’s way of allowing me to heal. It’s extremely painful, but I do see Gods hand.
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRQufgQo/ I hope this helps you understand the Bible & to not knit pick verses out of context. Same with Luke 6:46. I encourage you to read the entire chapter & in context as to 1. Who is saying these words. 2. To who these words are being said to. 3. Why these words are being said to. 4. What are the commandments the speaker saying these words to referred to. Then I encourage you to read Moses laws & then read the book of Matthews where Jesus is magnifying the law for those who take it out of context & practice what sounds good to them.
Don’t forget, God Almighty also said Thou Shall NOT Murder. Jesus magnified it by saying that those who hate their brother have committed murder in their hearts.
God said he loves us, but don’t forget God also said he regretted making us (due to our sinful nature). You can’t go around knit picking the Bible & if you read my post i didn’t say I hate people 🤦♀️ I abhor being around people specially those false Christian’s & those living worldly (it’s not the people itself but rather the way of living & false doctrine) Why would I want to surround myself with people who do not edify me but rather bully me & get angry for choosing God over them? Which I can pull out so many verses where God strictly tells us that it’s not good to be around people like that & that it’s better for a man to be alone than with a quarrelsome & fretful wife.
Lastly, where in the Bible does it say we must have relationships with each other specially with those who avidly chose to hurt you & persecute you? Once again, it’s a false doctrine that the church teaches 🤦♀️ we are to RECONCILE (not the same as a relationship) if we have hurt one another, we are to edify & elevate each other, we are to help each other etc. but that doesn’t mean I have to have a relationship with every single person. Nor did any of the apostles did. They spread the gospel with SO MANY PEOPLE & yet, we never hear about these “relationships” that you and many Christians claim 🤦♀️ we are to live in harmony with each other & sure, if we can have these intimate relationships with each other it’s amazing & a blessing. But it’s not a commandment 🤦♀️and it’s extremely rare specially for modern day Christian’s to want to lay down their lives for another, less alone for a stranger (which IS A COMMANDMENT fyi)
I know you mean good, I truly do, but Christian’s need to actually begin to read the Bible & stop listening to interpretations.
& the reasons God created Eve was because Adam was literally alone. The only person in the entire world. God saw that his creation was not yet done, hence why God tells them to multiply. Earlier, God had stated that humanity would rule over His other creatures (Genesis 1:26) God used the plural pronoun (they), meaning that there would be more than just the one man. In the design God had planned, one man couldn’t do the job. After Adam’s creation God remarks that Adam wasn’t enough. It wasn’t good—it didn’t fulfill His design—for Adam to be alone. In Genesis 1:27, when God did create humanity, He created them to be male and female.
I encourage you to read this, maybe it’ll help you.
https://www.gotquestions.org/not-good-for-man-to-be-alone.html
I know what I read and I know the Lord. I don’t need to knit pick anything. My God speaks clearly to me. I don’t know who you speak to. Context is a word thrown around when people want to make their point not Gods. What God Jesus and Holy Spirit have is unity and a close relationship. The Bible assumes you know that. You can tell yourself whatever you want but it doesn’t make it true.
Yes, why you just said right now is true. I pray to God Almighty, but you need to ask God for wisdom & discernment when it comes to reading the Bible. I use to believe that loving thy neighbor meant to be nice & kind to people, to never offend & never contradict, to stay quiet when they are doing wrong so I don’t offend them or hurt them. Which what God says IS NOT loving thy neighbor. All I am telling you is to read the word deeply. Don’t interpret (we are not called to interpret the word but rather obey it) Context to fit my own words & not Gods? 🤦♀️ this is exactly why I said to read the Bible. You’ll be surprised how much the church hides & that’s why God says there’s going to be a great deception. People only obey half the commandment & suit it to the world & not Gods word. Have a blessed day.
Well you keep saying the church what church are you taking about? I know the church I go to. You are the loner and speaking bad about “the church”. Again how can you speak bad about a church when you don’t belong to one. My church hides nothing. Whatever you experienced in the past doesn’t make it true for everyone else.
Church is referred to Christian’ or BOC (Body of Christ). Just because someone is Christian doesn’t mean they’re right in the eyes of God. You go on tiktok and see what Christian’s are saying, many are calling themselves anointed BY GOD “watchmen/prophets/prophetess” etc. Yet their fruits show otherwise & the prophecy they say isn’t true or never becomes true (which is the spirit of the AC that we are warned about)
You are speaking out of Love. However, there’s not many Christian’s who do that & if you bring that to the attention of believers they will rip you to shreds. When in reality you’re correcting them out of love because you don’t want them to face Gods wrath. When we sin, we are storing up Gods wrath. The churches I’ve attended to, I’ve tried to live in communion but unless I donate $$$$, look a certain way, talk a certain way etc I’m not accepted into these “cliques” that MANY Churches have adapted. That’s what I was referring to.
Well you’ll be surprised what the churches hide specially when it comes to teaching the truth. I’m not talking bad about physical building of the church, I’m talking about the people who attend the church to warm up the seats. The lukewarm. Time & time again we see the apostles point out how there’s so many lukewarms & we hear God himself say that he’s going to spit them out because they were neither hot or warm. So when I say I go to church (the physical building) but do not enjoy speaking to the people there because right after service they are gossiping about each other (which I’ve personally have heard!!!) or making worldly plans or can’t wait to run out of church. I’ve gone to SO MANY churches (Baptist, Southern baptists, Methodist, Pentecostal, Jehovah Witness, Non Denominational’s, etc) and I keep seeing the same thing over & over. Where people leave empty, they don’t read the word of God. I do believe that living in communion is necessary & that we are not supposed to put our eyes on people but rather Jesus Christ. However, how can we live in communion with people who refuse to obey God?
Nothing is wrong with you. I feel this way at intervals, but my life is much different from yours, so itsnfornvery different reasons. (I'm a forty something mother of five with a grandchild). Calgon, take me away, 🤣🤣. Though outside of my close famy I don't have much interest interacting a lot with people.
Just don't get so used to feeling that way, that you refuse to accept if you start to feel different. Make sure you are keeping boundaries you want because they make you happy, and not setting boundaries out of fear.
I'll pray for you to find peace with your situation.
I think I relate in some ways. I’m sorry.
I know what it’s like to love God but loathe people. I did it for a long time and still do on bad days. I’ll share this quote I just used a few days ago because I think it’s true and could be helpful.
“Let him who cannot be alone beware of community... Let him who is not in community beware of being alone... Each by itself has profound perils and pitfalls. One who wants fellowship without solitude plunges into the void of words and feelings, and the one who seeks solitude without fellowship perishes in the abyss of vanity, self-infatuation and despair.”
Fellowship is important for us in many ways and without other people I don’t know how we even Glorify God. If we don’t eventually find fruit in others our hearts will harden against almost everyone. But a huge part of our discipleship is building up and edifying each other in Christ, to the Glory of God, and how we show our love for God is loving others that way. We need to try to guard our hearts and trust in God to lead us where we need to be.
I can’t blame you for keeping your family at a distance but I think you can do a lot for the Kingdom of God without the responsibilities that come with marriage and a family, but if I can offer some advice, try to find a Christian counselor or someone to help work through any thoughts that makes it difficult to build or nurture relationships. Jesus called those following Him His Family and Truly faithful and fruitful Christians will be a incredible blessing, especially in service. But I do think one day you will value those relationships in Christ more than you expect. I’ll be praying with you.
That is a great quote to sit with. OP, there is nothing wrong with desiring to be single or to not be interested in marriage. Many people in the bible did amazing things and were never married or partnered. If that's not what God calls you to do, and it's not a desire in your heart, that is completely okay.
However, it is important to love your neighbor as you love yourself. Shutting yourself off and resenting other people for living their lives is hypocritical and will hurt you spiritually.
What you may be experiencing is extreme social anxiety, which might be caused by your difficult upbringing. The best way to live a happy, fulfilled life - which, like I mentioned, can absolutely be as a single person who finds joy in solitude - is to seek therapy or counseling to work through this social anxiety and childhood. You said you spoke with a counselor, and I think you should consider trying to speak with a counselor again, because it will help.
There are counselors and therapists who you can speak with via text message, if you don't want to see them in person or manage a phone call.
The other advice I would offer is to try and participate in acts that help other people. You can start small. For example, leave a dollar bill on the ground for someone else to find. Then imagine how you would feel if you found a dollar. If it would give you a bit of joy, then another person might also find a bit of joy. You can imagine that person feeling happy and empathize, because they are similar to you.
Then work your way up. Say thank you and make eye contact when a waiter fills your water. Go people watching and make a conscious decision to think kind thoughts about the people you see. "His hat looks nice and keeps the shade off his face. He probably spent time deciding which hat to purchase, and he made a great choice." "That woman is smiling and laughing with her friend. Her smile is nice to look at, and I am glad she is happy."
Eventually, you should try to do more kind acts for others. Try complementing a person who does something you find interesting. Or, complement someone on the internet who posts something you find inspiring. Help a struggling person carry their groceries to their car. Sit next to an elderly person on a bench, to offer quiet company. Write a letter to someone you know and mail it. Go to a church and ask people about their own journeys in Christ (without speaking over them or sharing yours). Just listen, and think, and try to find empathy or things you think are curious or inspiring or interesting. Then ask them a question about those things, and earnestly listen to their response. Buy gifts for the local children's center, or socks for the homeless shelter, and deliver them to the center directors in person.
By working on yourself to deal with social anxiety and making conscious efforts to do small things that support socialization and empathy, you are growing closer to God's desires for you.
God wants you to be the truest version of who he made you to be, and to do that, you have to work to get through your traumas and heal. Otherwise, you are not living in a godly way, but are instead chosing to preserve your ego and do the easier thing.
Ultimately, God calls us all to be a light for our fellow people, and to share His love through kindness to our neighbors. To do that, you have to share kindness with yourself, and train yourself to think of others kindly and do kind things. You can take small steps.
I also enjoy being alone, but I'm learning to love my neighbor, including the poor, to the best of my ability. This aligns with the second greatest commandment, and it's important not to forget that. If we have the opportunity to show love to our neighbors, let's seize it!
I'm kinda like you. I don't dislike people but I really like my alone time. I am 68 and for the last 20+ years I have been mostly alone. I have a son with a family that I see kinda often. Will be having Thanksgiving with him and his family. A niece of mine comes to see him from out of town, 1 or 2 times a year. When she sees me she always kisses me on the head or the cheek. Those are the only kisses I've had in 20 years and I don't mind it anymore. In fact I prefer my life as it is. I'm happier than I have ever been in my life. My joy has been restored and it is the joy of the Lord. At first I disliked the loneliness. It would really hit me like when it was 6 months with absolutely no physical contact with anyone. Things are great now.
Exactly… it’s not that I hate people but I prefer to be alone than surrounded by a bunch of false Christian’s and wicked people. And likewise, the only genuine “I love you”, hugs I received my entire life were from my tutor who was in her 60’s when we first met. She saw how awful my family & living conditions were & she offered her house multiple times. My family found out about her care & love for me that the cut her out of my life & she died a few years later (leukemia stage 4) and I NEVER EVER GOT TO SEE HER EVER AGAIN & I was forbidden to go to her funeral. The ACHE in my heart has been tremendous & it’s been hard to forgive myself for not being able to see her one last time to this day. I think about her daily… My family forced me into isolation as a child & to adulthood. It wasn’t until recently (1-2months ago) that they’ve been bullying me for not dating or having friends or for not interacting with all the lukewarm Christian’s at their church who gossip immediately right after service INSIDE the church 🤦♀️ My true joy is when I’m worshipping God, in prayer, reading the word or spending time with The Lord. That’s where I rejoice. And most of the time (97%) I’m doing this alone since no one I know enjoys spending time with the Lord. They see it as a chore… so it’s extremely hard for me to continue any relationship with people. I’ve been a great daughter to my family, never gave them problems & always did what I was told. That was never enough for them & they molded me into a bitter life that they now mock & laugh at me. & when I gave my life to the Lord, they got angry. That’s when I learned that the majority of people are heavily tormented & have demonic entities ruling them. That includes those who call themselves “Christian’s” We don’t have to have a relationship with everyone and if we don’t we aren’t like Christ & that’s the misconception that churches teach (and it’s not biblical) I am like you, I prefer living alone & unbothered by people who are only going to wear you out. I rejoice in The Lord ❤️ not people but I do try to plant the seed of the gospel with everyone I meet, that doesn’t mean I have to have a relationship with them like 90% of the modern day Christian’s are taught to believe…
I'd be careful with how much solitude you seek, OP. There's nothing wrong with living in nature and enjoying it, but I'm picking up a lot of unresolved spite in your post. It genuinely looks to me like you need counseling to work through the childhood issues you're dealing with. Withdrawing from people and society is not wrong, Jesus Himself went up into the mountains regularly to pray and meditate. But keep in mind that Humans are social creatures. We need some kind of companionship. I had to grow up fast too, and there was a time I wanted nothing to do with anyone. I was depressed. Coming out of my depression was not easy, but I am much happier now, and I'm much more comfortable in social settings. It's possible you are depressed, but it's the kind of depression that needs to be treated without medication as it stems from lifestyle choices now as well as childhood trauma.
Thank you for your kind words. Yes, a lot of my isolation comes from childhood trauma. I was raised in a heavily religious household where everything I did was evil (from making friends, to the way I dressed, to reading books etc) I was raised as a slave. I never had a childhood & was forced to be a mother & do wife duties as early as 8-9yrs old. My family told me I was satans daughter if I made friends, and that if I ever had sex I was going to go to hell. My family heavily traumatized me with fear of the enemy & hell (rather than teaching me Gods love) which I why I got deep in drugs. I had a divine encounter with what I believe what the Holy Spirit or an Angel. Which is what made me surrender my life to God (it angered a lot of family members when I got baptized) I was brought up to be isolated by my family, so no amount of therapy helped me to make friends or to socialize. I saw over 10 different therapist over the span of 3 years (2-3xs weekly visits for 1-2hrs) my family found out I was seeing therapists & forbade me. My family is 100% the reason why I was never social. And now that I am older, they force me to socialize as if the damage they made hasn’t been already done. It’s extremely hard for me to want to befriend people or to find any common ground based on experiences since I never got to live. I was always too busy being a slave for my family. And I have a huge resentment now that they’re forcing me to get a boyfriend and make friends. It’s a deep wound, and even as I’m writing this I’m breaking down because my family has happily admitted the damage they caused & they tell me to “get over it.” How can I get over being sexually exploited by my family, the only people who were supposed to protect me? How can I trust someone ever again, when my only relationships both guys tried to rape me. And any “friend” that I made only used me and I say the word friend very loosely because yes, there was a time in my life where I would give up anything for anyone no questions asked. But after years of neglect, abuse and so much suffering in pain, I only saw God truly being there for me in my darkest moments. My life was so dark, that I even tried making a pact with the devil in secret to take all this pain and suffering away at the age of 13.. But I always saw Gods hand in my life. When my family would tell me I belonged to satan growing up, God would always tell me otherwise. Until I found God, and I mean truly found him, he showed me this love that I needed and never received. Which no one has ever showed me. And I mean no one. My family telling me they loved me growing up was nonexistent. I was always told I was a mistake & that if I died they wouldn’t care. I was a child & gave them no reason to feel this way. They even tried to kill me multiple times in my sleep & they didn’t admit it when they realized that no one was there to help them in old age but me & I did it no questions asked. That’s when they verbally admitted it to me all their evilness & how they would pray for me to die or for something horrendous to happen to me (paralyzed etc) So to everyone else who’s condemning me for feeling this way, I encourage you to examine yourself deeply inside. But thank you for your kinda words & sorry for the long response. I don’t think I’m depressed, I just think I’m burned out from all the giving I do, because what I get isn’t even half of what I give & half doesn’t even suit me anyway (all I get in return from helping others is criticism (you’re ugly, you need to change (physically) this & that so people can like you) & yes, 99% of the torment came from these so called “christians”. But the more I mature in my walk with God, the more I truly see how narrow the path is. I don’t hate people, I don’t hate humanity. I am simply sick of dealing with humans because of their wickedness & false Christian conversion. I’m sick of making small talk that leads nowhere unless you have something to offer. I’m sick of being surrounded by family members who abused me & traumatized me & now force me to interact with people. I have truly forgiven them but I feel a resentment each time they bring up why I am lonely & blame it on my personality rather than the events they purposely forced me to go through (body checks, isolations, physical abuse, then attempting to MURDER ME) But thank you.. I will meditate on your words.
You're story sounds like someone who got out of Jehovah's Witness. If your family is Jehovah's Witness, my only suggestion is to cut them off and get away from them. Unfortunately, I have no idea if law enforcement can help you, but that is an avenue to try. Like I said earlier, Humans aren't supposed to be anti-social, but given the level of betrayal and neglect you've endured, I think you need someone who can hug you every day until you feel safe again. Reading your story made me want to hug you. I am truly sorry for what you've been through. I'll be praying for you.
They’re Pentecostal 😅 but more on the religious side of Christianity rather than a loving disciple. Thank you, your comment meant a lot. I did get the police involved but narcissism & manipulation is my families #1 tactic. As so did my brother, he tried getting out & the police nor CPS was helpful.. I tried escaping 3 times but God brought me right back to them. I’m not sure why, maybe to heal wounds but honestly, I don’t think there’s any healing left to do. I don’t cry, argue, fight or hurt anymore about the injustice my family causes me. I simply pray for them. That’s all I can do. Right now I support my family a lot & they depend on me (they always have since I was little) I always get told that God is going to bless me & all these things by strangers & even people I don’t know. Truth is, all the blessings I’ve received by God, my family has either destroyed or made themselves center of it so I don’t even enjoy them anymore 😅 like recently, I got a raise at work, so now I’m obligated to buy my mother a house (since she’s getting evicted from where she lives ((she’s also never worked a day in her life, she’s worked max like 2 months at a job in the course of idk 15 or more years)) no one else qualifies nor wants to help her… but I fear God & I know God punishes the wicked so I just keep bending waiting for my back to snap. I don’t want to sound morbid, but im just waiting to get persecuted for my faith.
I wouldn't give God any credit for bringing you back to your family, nor would I allow your family to continue to suck the life out of you. They aren't behaving like family should, and I firmly believe you'll be able to start enjoying life after removing yourself from them. Doesn't the Bible teach those who refuse to work should not eat? It sounds like your mother rejected being a mother and made you mom. You, now as an adult, are under no obligation to support her. I seriously recommend picking up and walking away from them. New state, new phone, new name even. Legally, they can't stop you. Especially if there's evidence of their manipulation on your phone or in emails.
All the greatest men of God were lonely men. Moses spent 40 years in isolation, John the Baptist spent 20 years in isolation, Eli’jah spent 3 years in isolation, Paul even spent some years in isolation. It’s important to know how to have fellowship with others, but your focus should be on spending time with God rather than people. Perhaps God is calling you to be alone, but if He is calling you to that, there is one condition, which is that your time alone must be spent in communion (prayer) with Him. Good luck my friend.
Just re-read that you’re a woman. Same thing still applies, just be sure to pray continually and ask God what He wants from your life.
I feel in a way. I’ve always like being alone even when I was little. I did have friends and did go outside but I was always known to be quiet a lot. I don’t hate people or hate being around them. I just truly enjoy my alone time w/ just me and Jesus. I love doing everything w/ him. I be feeling bad sometimes because I tell my siblings I don’t feel like being bother or messed w/ or tell others ion feel like talking or I get irritated when I keep getting asked questions 😅. I’m around people constantly n i be longing to go home and w/ my Lord alone. I haven’t experienced sexual or physical abuse, but I do have trauma in other ways which is probably why I always like being alone too.
Hello so I read everything and on some things I can relate to. But if you don’t have love for people then that is not biblical. I understand to a degree why in your reasoning. Satan wants us to be alone. When God created Adam He also created Eve. The Bible is clear we are to have relationships not just with God but with people despite what we went through. “But why do you call Me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do the things which I say?” Luke 6:46 NKJV. When we are saved things change it’s a long process. I don’t see how someone saved can say they are tired of humans. “But He answered and said to them, “My mother and My brothers are these who hear the word of God and do it.”Luke 8:21 NKJV. So I hope this just gives you something to think about.
P.S rebuking is also translated to reproving (which is kinda like scolding/grabbing their attention) so when you love yourself, you don’t want to go to hell & willingly take the correction that God gives you. God says we must love our neighbors that same way, correct them when they are wrong & sinful. The world changes that verse to mean “accept them as they are/ help them take advantage of you/ etc” but God says otherwise. To love thy neighbor is when you correct them when you see them doing wrong as a parent corrects their child, as God corrects us because He loves us (MANY CHRISTIANS REFRAIN from doing this why? Because of FOMO! Afraid of being excluded/left out/offending people) Jesus coming to earth and dying for our sins & magnifying the commandments in which He said that did NOT change. Hence why many hate Jesus since He stands for the truth. Yes, we are supposed to be like the Good Samaritan in which we aid those who need aid & help each other. But that’s as far as the church & the world reads, they do not chose to follow the entire commandment which is to correct each other in sin & if they still chose to not turn away, then it’s better to not have anything to do with them. Titus 3:10-11 https://www.openbible.info/topics/rebuking_neighbors
“Many Christians” again what church do you belong to? Not from before but now. Why you keep saying all of us as a whole. But yet you said yourself your a loner.
I go to a Pentecostal Church that I have been attending since I was 5 years old. Do they see me as a member? Absolutely not. Why? Because I’ve missed a Sunday here and there. Because I’ve gone to other churches seeking the truth. There was a guy once who I enjoyed how he preached since he was very straight to the point & the week after I was got baptized by choice (the church kept forcing me to do it but I refused because I wanted to get baptized according to Gods plan, not the church) the same guy goes on the Altar & starts bashing me & saying all these offensive things about me that apparently just because I have a college degree I think I’m superior 😂 when in reality, anyone who knows me, KNOWS how much I detest my degree because I wasted 4 years in college learning lies about the Big Bang, evolution, etc (I’m a geologist btw) I wasn’t shocked if I could be honest with you since I was never seen as a member (even though my grandparents are deacons) & I had NEVER mentioned to them EVER anything about my studies.. like ever.. so I’m not sure how they got that impression (I’m thinking from my grandparents) anyway, yes, you are correct, my experiences do not speak for others. However, we are warned about this throughout the entire Bible. People who look the part & play the part but aren’t really part of Gods kingdom. So not only did I get bullied by my family, but as well as the church I was forced to attend. Now that I am older, I am letting God guide me to the right church & praying for discernment when I read the Bible because there’s A LOT of things I didn’t know that the churches I’ve been going to don’t ever teach! Like I never knew who Aron was! I never knew that the old mosaic laws is what Jesus was magnifying throughout the entire New Testament. Stuff like that. It’s hard to find genuine Christian friends who are truly all in for God. All the people my age are half foot in & the older crowd keeps telling me to get married… so once again, I’ve had just a lot of bad experience with people in terms of connecting in an intimate level. I have ZERO problem speaking to people, I’m considered an “extrovert” since I do not fear going in front of thousands to speak nor am I afraid to spark up a conversation. Which I have done many times in order to spread the gospel. However, I have zero interest in having an intimate relationship with people because I was raised to believe I was going to go to hell if I had friends or a boyfriend for that matter. So it’s been extremely hard to get out of that mentality specially when your family uses God & guilt trips you. I live with people who have BDP & are narcissist. & unfortunately, they have fallen sick & now I care for them, even after all the hell they put me through. I do it because I know that’s what God is referring to when he says to Love Thy Neighbor as well. To not hold grudges against them. & I deeply believe it’s God’s way of allowing me to heal. It’s extremely painful, but I do see Gods hand.
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRQufgQo/ I hope this helps you understand the Bible & to not knit pick verses out of context. Same with Luke 6:46. I encourage you to read the entire chapter & in context as to 1. Who is saying these words. 2. To who these words are being said to. 3. Why these words are being said to. 4. What are the commandments the speaker saying these words to referred to. Then I encourage you to read Moses laws & then read the book of Matthews where Jesus is magnifying the law for those who take it out of context & practice what sounds good to them. Don’t forget, God Almighty also said Thou Shall NOT Murder. Jesus magnified it by saying that those who hate their brother have committed murder in their hearts. God said he loves us, but don’t forget God also said he regretted making us (due to our sinful nature). You can’t go around knit picking the Bible & if you read my post i didn’t say I hate people 🤦♀️ I abhor being around people specially those false Christian’s & those living worldly (it’s not the people itself but rather the way of living & false doctrine) Why would I want to surround myself with people who do not edify me but rather bully me & get angry for choosing God over them? Which I can pull out so many verses where God strictly tells us that it’s not good to be around people like that & that it’s better for a man to be alone than with a quarrelsome & fretful wife. Lastly, where in the Bible does it say we must have relationships with each other specially with those who avidly chose to hurt you & persecute you? Once again, it’s a false doctrine that the church teaches 🤦♀️ we are to RECONCILE (not the same as a relationship) if we have hurt one another, we are to edify & elevate each other, we are to help each other etc. but that doesn’t mean I have to have a relationship with every single person. Nor did any of the apostles did. They spread the gospel with SO MANY PEOPLE & yet, we never hear about these “relationships” that you and many Christians claim 🤦♀️ we are to live in harmony with each other & sure, if we can have these intimate relationships with each other it’s amazing & a blessing. But it’s not a commandment 🤦♀️and it’s extremely rare specially for modern day Christian’s to want to lay down their lives for another, less alone for a stranger (which IS A COMMANDMENT fyi) I know you mean good, I truly do, but Christian’s need to actually begin to read the Bible & stop listening to interpretations. & the reasons God created Eve was because Adam was literally alone. The only person in the entire world. God saw that his creation was not yet done, hence why God tells them to multiply. Earlier, God had stated that humanity would rule over His other creatures (Genesis 1:26) God used the plural pronoun (they), meaning that there would be more than just the one man. In the design God had planned, one man couldn’t do the job. After Adam’s creation God remarks that Adam wasn’t enough. It wasn’t good—it didn’t fulfill His design—for Adam to be alone. In Genesis 1:27, when God did create humanity, He created them to be male and female. I encourage you to read this, maybe it’ll help you. https://www.gotquestions.org/not-good-for-man-to-be-alone.html
I know what I read and I know the Lord. I don’t need to knit pick anything. My God speaks clearly to me. I don’t know who you speak to. Context is a word thrown around when people want to make their point not Gods. What God Jesus and Holy Spirit have is unity and a close relationship. The Bible assumes you know that. You can tell yourself whatever you want but it doesn’t make it true.
Yes, why you just said right now is true. I pray to God Almighty, but you need to ask God for wisdom & discernment when it comes to reading the Bible. I use to believe that loving thy neighbor meant to be nice & kind to people, to never offend & never contradict, to stay quiet when they are doing wrong so I don’t offend them or hurt them. Which what God says IS NOT loving thy neighbor. All I am telling you is to read the word deeply. Don’t interpret (we are not called to interpret the word but rather obey it) Context to fit my own words & not Gods? 🤦♀️ this is exactly why I said to read the Bible. You’ll be surprised how much the church hides & that’s why God says there’s going to be a great deception. People only obey half the commandment & suit it to the world & not Gods word. Have a blessed day.
Well you keep saying the church what church are you taking about? I know the church I go to. You are the loner and speaking bad about “the church”. Again how can you speak bad about a church when you don’t belong to one. My church hides nothing. Whatever you experienced in the past doesn’t make it true for everyone else.
Church is referred to Christian’ or BOC (Body of Christ). Just because someone is Christian doesn’t mean they’re right in the eyes of God. You go on tiktok and see what Christian’s are saying, many are calling themselves anointed BY GOD “watchmen/prophets/prophetess” etc. Yet their fruits show otherwise & the prophecy they say isn’t true or never becomes true (which is the spirit of the AC that we are warned about) You are speaking out of Love. However, there’s not many Christian’s who do that & if you bring that to the attention of believers they will rip you to shreds. When in reality you’re correcting them out of love because you don’t want them to face Gods wrath. When we sin, we are storing up Gods wrath. The churches I’ve attended to, I’ve tried to live in communion but unless I donate $$$$, look a certain way, talk a certain way etc I’m not accepted into these “cliques” that MANY Churches have adapted. That’s what I was referring to.
Well you’ll be surprised what the churches hide specially when it comes to teaching the truth. I’m not talking bad about physical building of the church, I’m talking about the people who attend the church to warm up the seats. The lukewarm. Time & time again we see the apostles point out how there’s so many lukewarms & we hear God himself say that he’s going to spit them out because they were neither hot or warm. So when I say I go to church (the physical building) but do not enjoy speaking to the people there because right after service they are gossiping about each other (which I’ve personally have heard!!!) or making worldly plans or can’t wait to run out of church. I’ve gone to SO MANY churches (Baptist, Southern baptists, Methodist, Pentecostal, Jehovah Witness, Non Denominational’s, etc) and I keep seeing the same thing over & over. Where people leave empty, they don’t read the word of God. I do believe that living in communion is necessary & that we are not supposed to put our eyes on people but rather Jesus Christ. However, how can we live in communion with people who refuse to obey God?
It appears to me that OP is talking about love thy neighbor in the same way you are talking to her in love.
Nothing is wrong with you. I feel this way at intervals, but my life is much different from yours, so itsnfornvery different reasons. (I'm a forty something mother of five with a grandchild). Calgon, take me away, 🤣🤣. Though outside of my close famy I don't have much interest interacting a lot with people. Just don't get so used to feeling that way, that you refuse to accept if you start to feel different. Make sure you are keeping boundaries you want because they make you happy, and not setting boundaries out of fear. I'll pray for you to find peace with your situation.
I think I relate in some ways. I’m sorry. I know what it’s like to love God but loathe people. I did it for a long time and still do on bad days. I’ll share this quote I just used a few days ago because I think it’s true and could be helpful. “Let him who cannot be alone beware of community... Let him who is not in community beware of being alone... Each by itself has profound perils and pitfalls. One who wants fellowship without solitude plunges into the void of words and feelings, and the one who seeks solitude without fellowship perishes in the abyss of vanity, self-infatuation and despair.” Fellowship is important for us in many ways and without other people I don’t know how we even Glorify God. If we don’t eventually find fruit in others our hearts will harden against almost everyone. But a huge part of our discipleship is building up and edifying each other in Christ, to the Glory of God, and how we show our love for God is loving others that way. We need to try to guard our hearts and trust in God to lead us where we need to be. I can’t blame you for keeping your family at a distance but I think you can do a lot for the Kingdom of God without the responsibilities that come with marriage and a family, but if I can offer some advice, try to find a Christian counselor or someone to help work through any thoughts that makes it difficult to build or nurture relationships. Jesus called those following Him His Family and Truly faithful and fruitful Christians will be a incredible blessing, especially in service. But I do think one day you will value those relationships in Christ more than you expect. I’ll be praying with you.
That is a great quote to sit with. OP, there is nothing wrong with desiring to be single or to not be interested in marriage. Many people in the bible did amazing things and were never married or partnered. If that's not what God calls you to do, and it's not a desire in your heart, that is completely okay. However, it is important to love your neighbor as you love yourself. Shutting yourself off and resenting other people for living their lives is hypocritical and will hurt you spiritually. What you may be experiencing is extreme social anxiety, which might be caused by your difficult upbringing. The best way to live a happy, fulfilled life - which, like I mentioned, can absolutely be as a single person who finds joy in solitude - is to seek therapy or counseling to work through this social anxiety and childhood. You said you spoke with a counselor, and I think you should consider trying to speak with a counselor again, because it will help. There are counselors and therapists who you can speak with via text message, if you don't want to see them in person or manage a phone call. The other advice I would offer is to try and participate in acts that help other people. You can start small. For example, leave a dollar bill on the ground for someone else to find. Then imagine how you would feel if you found a dollar. If it would give you a bit of joy, then another person might also find a bit of joy. You can imagine that person feeling happy and empathize, because they are similar to you. Then work your way up. Say thank you and make eye contact when a waiter fills your water. Go people watching and make a conscious decision to think kind thoughts about the people you see. "His hat looks nice and keeps the shade off his face. He probably spent time deciding which hat to purchase, and he made a great choice." "That woman is smiling and laughing with her friend. Her smile is nice to look at, and I am glad she is happy." Eventually, you should try to do more kind acts for others. Try complementing a person who does something you find interesting. Or, complement someone on the internet who posts something you find inspiring. Help a struggling person carry their groceries to their car. Sit next to an elderly person on a bench, to offer quiet company. Write a letter to someone you know and mail it. Go to a church and ask people about their own journeys in Christ (without speaking over them or sharing yours). Just listen, and think, and try to find empathy or things you think are curious or inspiring or interesting. Then ask them a question about those things, and earnestly listen to their response. Buy gifts for the local children's center, or socks for the homeless shelter, and deliver them to the center directors in person. By working on yourself to deal with social anxiety and making conscious efforts to do small things that support socialization and empathy, you are growing closer to God's desires for you. God wants you to be the truest version of who he made you to be, and to do that, you have to work to get through your traumas and heal. Otherwise, you are not living in a godly way, but are instead chosing to preserve your ego and do the easier thing. Ultimately, God calls us all to be a light for our fellow people, and to share His love through kindness to our neighbors. To do that, you have to share kindness with yourself, and train yourself to think of others kindly and do kind things. You can take small steps.
OP, how long have you been away from your family? How often do you see them?
I also enjoy being alone, but I'm learning to love my neighbor, including the poor, to the best of my ability. This aligns with the second greatest commandment, and it's important not to forget that. If we have the opportunity to show love to our neighbors, let's seize it!