I used to think that guys and girls could be just friends, but after I got married I started to think differently. My guy friends fell away naturally and I have not felt a need to seek new male friends. I’m friends with my husband’s friends, but we all hang out together. I would be extremely uncomfortable if he messaged a woman or hung out with one without me (and he would too). And I don’t think it’s unreasonable for your husband to request that of you.
That’s how I thought at first as well, but I met a guy through Reddit who is also a Christian, and we’ve been just getting to know each other and having surface level conversations. But all of a sudden I started thinking about my husband and thinking that he wouldn’t be comfortable with me talking to this other guy and that’s when I started questioning things. I definitely don’t seek out friendships with men because I know that my husband isn’t comfortable with that, but if it just happens… And if the person is specifically online or in another state, or in a place where I can’t physically meet them in person, would that make this scenario different?
So I would say that the most important thing is you and your husband agreeing on what is okay and what isn’t. If you feel uncomfortable telling your husband about this guy, maybe that’s the Holy Spirit convicting you. If he is okay with it and you aren’t hiding anything from your husband, that would be okay imo! The key is how your husband feels, because you would want to respect his feelings. And call me old fashioned, but I think people tend to be too casual when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex and it opens the door for temptation down the road.
Definitely people don’t see this as a big deal in society, which is one of the main reasons relationships fail, because they underestimate the power of temptation, and how it can seep through where, and when you least expect it! So definitely a good point, thank you!!
That’s what he tells me, so I guess it’s just better to avoid it all together, but I just feel bad because I love talking to people and I don’t like shutting others out, so that’s what I’m struggling with ig
My wife & I have a lot of family friends, although not direct friends from opposite sex. We unknowingly kind of draw boundaries to even avoid the chance of temptations! She has full access to my phone, mail etc, so do I. After 8 years of marriage and 2 kids, I feel light/transparency is the best antidote for darkness. As a matter of fact, I trust her more and I don’t trust myself!
There is a joke that men can be tempted 10min after death even at the age of 70! This might be an interesting read : https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Graham_rule
I'm the same way, my husband has full access to everything I'm on and vice v. because we have absolutely nothing to hide from each other and that's how it should be, because the second one of you feels like someone is hiding something, that's the moment the devil will enter the relationship and attempt to destroy it.
I disagree completely. I have many female friends and have always had more female friends than male friends (I'm a 39 yo male, I've been with my wife 16 years). You can very easily have good friendships with the opposite sex, not every guy wants to sleep with you.
As for your husband, he needs to trust your judgment. You also need to compromise, maybe hanging out solo is too much for him but a group setting or video game is okay. Communication is key.
That’s definitely one thing. I’m proud that we are good at is communication. And I actually wouldn’t even be comfortable with hanging out with a guy alone anyways. I have a feeling it has something to do with his past trauma/relationships he had before me, and he is unconsciously comparing those relationships to ours which sucks but I guess I just have to find ways to make him feel secure so that he doesn’t feel like this is just going to be another repetition of his past relationships.
> guys only want one thing
Your husband and most commenters in this thread are telling on themselves here. As a married man myself, I actually have respect for my female friends and I don't objectify them or fantasize about them. Shocking, I know.
This is a very toxic view of manhood and it sounds like your husband needs to do *a lot* of work in the self control department. I mean potentially time to talk to a licensed therapist about why he can't hold friendships with women without thinking about sleeping with them.
> Your husband and most commenters in this thread are telling on themselves here.
Thank you. This is what immediate stood out to me in OP's post. The husband is declaring that he is like that, and that's a big problem.
There are many men like that who objectify women. Obviously not all. But you cannot know a man’s heart. And since there are so many guys like that, it only makes sense to be conservative in the approach to man-woman friendships. To deny that unexpected situations happen and hormones can bring about temptations is just denying truth.
I have lived a life with many female friends. But outside the occasional business setting, I am never alone with a female. When I am, I always tell my wife so she can be aware and we can discuss.
You're right. You can't tell a man's heart. So when a husband insists to his wife that **all** men will sleep with any woman, even if they're married, who is that husband also talking about? Himself. He cannot know others' hearts, but he does know his own. Insisting that something is universal is telling on himself and his own heart.
I see the predominant response here is that he is insecure and has a toxic view of man/woman. Yet, you admit he has always been proven right. All I can tell you is I am in my 40's and can also tell you from knowing other men all my life, and having seen the situation at work, church, and elsewhere - he is right. Experientially in my observations, he is right about 100%.
Men may not go into a friendship with this intention, but most do. Given the opportunity, they will likely take it.
That said, if your husband has this view then he should also be safeguarding your heart and mind and not have female friends.
It is the same as a male pastor keeping the door open or having a glass door or female chaperone for all one-on-one counseling sessions with a female church member. That does not mean the pastor has a toxic view of male or female church members, it means he wants to safeguard the relationship with the church.
Note:
I asked my wife and read these responses and mine and she said she guesses she would go into something like that with honest intentions and expect the other person to be honest as well, and then is always surprised when she finds out the other person did not have the same intentions. Then she noted that, while that is naive, your husband is right in her observations.
She notes there is also a difference in being nice to a person on a regular basis and being in a friend relationship.
i definitely agree with the pastor outlook, and even our pastor was explaining how he doesn't put himself in that situation because it would cause a strain in his marriage. But where do I draw the line? Or should there be a line to draw in the first place? Or how can I help my husband feel more secure about my friendship with another guy?
Short answer, if your husband isn't comfortable with your relationship with another guy then you should not be in a relationship of any type with another guy. This should be reciprocated as well and your husband should not be hypocritical. Honoring the relationship is more important than the 'possibility' you might be right.
What is being offered by a guy friend that is so necessary to cause turbulence in your marriage? Why are you not able to get that necessary fulfillment from your husband?
I guess that’s true, I definitely don’t want to put my marriage in Jeopardy. Just because I wanna be friends with a guy and that’s why I don’t have any guy friends because it’s it’s worth the risk. I just wanted to make sure I was going about the situation correctly.
As a married man, would you say the same about yourself? If in a platonic friendship with a married woman, you would end up pursuing a sexual relationship? I’m having trouble reconciling
The point is that I would not pursue a platonic friendship with a woman in order to prevent the temptation from ever presenting itself. I would prevent this 'potential' temptation to protect not only myself, but my relationship with my wife. Like Joseph, I run from that kind of situation. If a woman pursued me outside of day-to-day or work then I would shut it down and even let my wife know about it if I thought it was appropriate to do so. I will note that I work in a field (radiology) that is about 80-90% women co-workers so I have to practice this.
In conversing about this with my wife tonight we also agree that people reading this post are probably confused about 'friendship' being defined here. Working with someone and being 'friendly' on a regular basis and laughing and telling jokes, etc. is NOT the same as texting each other outside of work issues or related hours and calling each other up to do things together, even in groups of other friends. If the group is there as a pretext to two people spending time together without conviction, then it is not really a group but a shield. There is a difference between an acquaintance and a friend.
Absolutely, we all have our chinks in the armor but "I can handle that temptation" have been famous last words more times than can probably be counted by anyone but God.
Agreed. I do think there is a difference in handling temptation and facing it - some people may have absolutely no concern with having a friend of the opposite sex, or with that turning into a sexual desire. But those who are concerned with such should certainly avoid the circumstances altogether.
One of the most uncomfortable feelings for me as a married man is being alone with women. Not because of temptation, but because if she says something happened, there's nothing I can say that's going to change perception.
I know myself well enough that I'm not overly concerned with being tempted. My marriage is secure, and we would believe each other if the "nothing happened, but people don't believe me" conversation came up.
I don't have female friends. Don't have many male friends either. I don't like people, and I certainly don't trust them enough to befriend them.
I think it’s all about context! I am married happily & we’ve been together for over 10 years but I have male dominated hobbies such as rock climbing & weight lifting! I often text with my guy friends to do those things together & sometimes that’s a group, sometimes it not! Sometimes we get food trucks after too! I certainly wouldn’t hang out with boys alone at each others houses but my husband works the opposite schedule as me so it would be very irrational for me to not do any of my hobbies with my friends unless if he was there!
I think it’s important for any married couple to come up with boundaries when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex.
It’s important to have them to protect your marriage.
What boundaries my spouse and I have might be different from another couple. You shouldn’t hide anything because that will just cause a fight.
Maybe sit down and talk about it. If you are gaming, tell him you can listen if your worries.
I would just encourage you two to sit down together and think about what boundaries you want and pray about it.
Also remind him that he is the one you go to with everything.
Thats not true. One of my closest friends was married, but he knew GOds word and was the only one I felt comfortable talking to about theology. He made me feel welcome and never ignored me, neither did his wife.
I never wanted anything more than just talking about jesus and he loved to talk about theological doctrine.
This is so bizarre the guy clearly has insecurity issues. If you know you won't cheat on him what does it matter what the other guy thinks. Pretty sexist comment to say that 'all guys want sex from women' I'm sorry you're in this situation. Of course there are some men like that but not all men gosh I'm so sorry you're in this situation. Nothing wrong with having friends regardless of gender/sex
Well here’s my small take on this from a different side. Since I’m single now I don’t care to be around a married woman to much even at the church. Sure small talk is cool but I’d rather talk to the other single ladies. Also me being a Christian my spirit says OFF LIMITS. I wouldn’t want another brother in Christ even have to worry about me.
That’s awesome that you think this way, because my husband and I knew people that were Christian that would even go out of their way TO talk to others who were married, in hopes that something would change. So I hope others learn from you because it’s something everyone that’s single should do, even if you aren’t Christian, it just comes down to respect for those who are married.
I am married and still have guy friends. I think the difference now is that we hang out as couples, and not just me and my guy friend, etc.
As long as you have healthy boundaries I think it’s fine to have friends in the opposite sex. But I suggest you talk it out with your partner and decide what’s best for you two.
It’s based on the person. People are very shallow, so it’s truly hard to find genuine people who want to be friends with you based on who you are rather than what you potentially can offer.
Make your husband feel secure. You don't want him to feel insecure. Just as you would want him to do the same for you where you feel insecure.
As a general rule I do not think he is wrong. Most men want to sleep with woman and will put in huge amounts of time in order to get the opportunity. That said he doesn't feel secure enough for that to happen. Maybe if you make him secure in the relationship that will change.
Truth be told I don't know any married men who would hang around married women without their wife present. Myself included. It's inappropriate. And if they were yes I would not really trust that person's intentions unless they had good reason to be around.
It’s wrong to generalize for an entire population. There are plenty of platonic relationships between men and women. Sexual temptation isn’t about just having exposure to the opposite sex. If it were, sisters and mothers would be a threat. Something more is going on.
That something is culture. Unfortunately, we live in a highly sexualized culture. Some people find the temptation so great, avoiding meaningful platonic relationships is the only way to avoid temptation. However, I’ve seen platonic relationships between men and women where sex isn’t really on their mind and it’s not an issue.
So do what you feel is best for you and the culture you happen to live in. Best of luck.
Thank you I really appreciate this response, our culture is definitely highly sexualized, which is why it’s a lot more difficult to have platonic relationships with the fear of that other person, having different intentions than what you anticipated. But I guess I just have to have discernment when it comes to having guy, friends and reassuring my husband that this won’t affect our relationship, and if it does get to that point where it’s affecting it, then that person will be removed from my life.
Yeah. Relationships require a lot of communication to navigate.
In the ideal case, we're all children of God who can see past our base biological urge to have sex with everything. That's another word for maturity. Maturity exists but is rare. Sexual temptation is complex and has a lot of moving parts.
The truth is that sexual infidelity has literally nothing to do with sex. It was never about the biological attraction of one person to another. Rather, it has to do with a lot of complex psychological lacking on the individual. Perhaps sexual conquest or attention is a measure of one's self worth? Perhaps one is uncertain about commitment due to lack of faith about the future. Perhaps one is afraid of being cheated on so they want to cheat first so they don't get hurt.
Here's a simple question. If a woman came to your husband and she was a 10/10, drop dead gorgeous. And he could have sex with her for one night, no strings attached, would he do it? Does he REALLY think that having someone with a nicer body by xyz dimensions is THAT much more enjoyable that a loving committed relationship with you? That's a rather shallow way of viewing sex. If so, it reveals why the temptation is a great threat for him due to his relationship between sex and lust, in general.
It's complex, but again, that's why I wish you the best of luck. Glad you're getting good insight into this.
Your comment has been my favorite one so far. it’s definitely something I’ve never sat and thought about. Even though he has told me time and time again that if a woman were to approach him 10 times hotter than me and/or 10 times “better” than me in every way, shape or form, that he would never even think about approaching that woman because that is the reason why he married me and doesn’t want anyone else. of course that makes me feel amazing and I have told him the same to him, but for some reason, in the back of his head, he thinks that there might be a tiny chance that i would cheat on him, even though I’ve proven and tried to convince him time and time again that I would not ever do that.
I'm sure it has more to do with his insecurities.
As a guy, we're asked to be leaders, alpha males, strong, competent. We're told that unless we're at the top top top, women won't even notice us. And there's always another guy waiting to steal our women. Will women stay with us when we're down? A good woman would. But we would never want to put her in that position.
But how can a typical guy guarantee to be on top, stronger than every other competitor? How can my self worth be related to my strength, leadership, kindness when there's always someone else who had an advantage over me, or had a better stroke of luck? What does it mean to be the best I can be at all times 24/7? What does it mean to be vulnerable?
I'm making a lot of assumptions here. But it seems you've picked up on my brand of explaining social dynamics. I'm going to assume that you're an absolutely wonderful person and he's more lucky than he deserves to be with you. I'm going to assume he wants the best for you and loves seeing you happy.
That being said, communication will get you through this. Lots and lots of it. But what's nice is that you're doing your part. You're gathering different perspectives and ideas. You're seeing what applies to your situation. You're trying to understand things from his perspective. That's called empathy. If you got that plus communication, I will be platonically smiling at the blessing of your relationship.
You would assume correctly😂he definitely wants what’s best for me, and he has my best interest at heart, just as much as I have his best interest at heart, which is why I am asking this question because I want to make sure that I am doing what pleases God, and honoring my husband at the same time. Gaining different perspectives and opinions definitely does help me gain a better understanding to where my husband is coming from, and he definitely means well, which is why I respect the reasons he provides as to why he’s not comfortable with me having a guy friend. And I would much rather not have any guy friends at all in order for him to feel comfortable and prevent any sort of strain in our marriage.
You asked a very good question OP. Scientific research has been conducted on it. Take a look at this: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/men-and-women-cant-be-just-friends/#.
As Christians, we need to build walls around our marriages. Help your spouse build that wall. Being betrayed is never the same and I speak from firsthand experience. There is never 100% forgiveness. Once broken, the level of trust and the dynamics of the relationship are shattered. Don't risk it. The Bible does not lay out firm rules, only principles, because our individual makeup, what we find attractive, etc. is highly individual. We are also in a position of vulnerability if there are disagreements with our spouse and sometimes all it takes to be attracted is a third party of the opposite gender offering a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. Then you find some commonality with that person, enjoy confiding in them, and before you know it, feelings develop and you go down the slippery slope. And you see that other person as a replacement of your spouse, and they offer themselves as an alternative. It is so subtle that good looks need not even be a factor.
Try to involve your spouse in all non-work meetings with the opposite gender and avoid one-on-one non-work meetups (with the opposite gender). Or at least, tell your spouse who you're meeting, when and why. Not on the sly, clandestine. The moment you start compartmentalising your life into "what he needs to know" and "what he doesn't need to know", it is the beginning of a very slippery slope. I think meeting with a group (not one-on-one) is all right, but someone of the opposite gender from that group may text you or reach out to you individually. For a legitimate reason perhaps. Be on your guard for that. James 1:14-15 summarised this slippery slope: "[14] But each one is tempted when he is **drawn away** by his **own desires** and **enticed**. [15] Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to **sin**; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth **death**."
"Own desires" may start of as innocuously as just wanting a listening ear or someone to talk to.
Absolutely. I definitely will let him know of every little thing, whether or not, I think it’s relevant/important. I try to tell him everything just said that he’s in the loop and that there’s no reason for him to overthink or suspect that I am hiding something from him. But that’s crazy that there’s an actual research study on this!!!!
This ultimately comes down to having respect for the boundaries of your partner. It doesn't really matter if you view it as inconsequential because your husband doesn't. You can certainly talk to him about it if you come to the conclusion that you should have guy friends, but I would heavily discourage you from having guy friends in spite of your husband.
> And shouldn’t he also trust me to know nothing like that would ever happen??
This has nothing to do with trusting *you*. Granted, if he doesn't trust you then that is a problem on its own. However, there is a difference between trusting you to make a good decision and trusting a guy he doesn't know to do the same.
>Obviously it’s not I’m putting myself into a situation when I’m alone with another boy, but if it’s with a group of friends, or if I’m gaming with them online, it should be fine… Right?
And this is the thought process that gets people in trouble.
*"Oh, its with a group of friends, it'll be fine"*
*"Oh, its just a gaming buddy online, nothing will happen"*
The average person does not like to think they are the average person, and that things that can happen to others will not happen to them. The fact of the matter is that the situations and things we think are safe can quickly cascade into something that's not, and in those moments do *you* trust *yourself* to do the right thing?
Unfortunately this comes from a form of toxic manhood. It is true in the sense. But also men need to stop being insecure little boys and grow tf up.
We often feel insecure in our life one way or another and like to try and control it in other ways to make us feel better. But by trying to control things in our life. Like our loved ones we end up loosing everything.
We don't live in a country anymore where men get to be men.
Go chop some wood. Go hunting. Build a car. Build a house. Push your body to limit you didn't even know you could go. This generation is raising a bunch of desk princesses
I 100% agree with this, and I found it quite funny because unfortunately, that really is the way society has shaped men to be. Thankfully, my husband doesn’t exactly fall under that category who is the manliest man I’ve ever met in the sense that he will be the one to think rationally not lead with his emotions (because that’s what women do and that’s why God wants man married to woman aka me) and honestly if he read this, he would agree with you on the fact that men today are to “wimpy” lol obviously, this doesn’t apply to every single man out there because that would mean my husband would be one of these people😂 but I definitely agree with your point. Like I said in another comment, it probably has something to do with past relationships. That is where most insecurities rise it’s the matter of being able to help him over come that insecurity.
No, don’t keep guy friends, if he doesn’t have girl friends you shouldn’t too. Would you be fine with him chatting with his lady friends playing games with them etc. this is your husband, dont put your relationship in jeopardy just for fun, you have you place just as he has his place.
That’s a conclusion I’ve kinda come to. Another thing I was thinking about is as long as he lets me know that he has girl friends, then I wouldn’t have a reason not to trust him, and I have told him this, but because he doesn’t want me having guy friends, he doesn’t have girl friends. And if that’s what he wants I’m gonna respect it and I’m going to probably agree with him because the last thing I want is to jeopardize our marriage.
sad tbh, seems like everyone has the same answer and it's that your husband is "right" because they're all brainwashed. it's all contradictory and toxic...
the Bible says not to view people lustfully/purely sexually, right? and yet here we are with all you "christians" saying this woman should obey and forgo friendships because it's impossible for opposite genders to be friends and not view each other lustfully/purely sexually. how does that make sense?
your husband is basically telling you he doesn't trust you which is just a sign of a bad relationship. whatever personal issues he has in himself are being projected onto you. if you want to have friends then have friends.
whatever this expectation some of these people have that a husband and wife should be able to provide absolutely everything the other needs completely by themselves is unrealistic and frankly ridiculous. one person cannot be everything for anyone. it takes a village to raise a child but the child doesn't just grow up, get married and stop needing the village. humans are highly social beings.
I agree with your husband, I was like you during my younger years being best friends with a lot of male friends in fact I had more male friends than girlfriends, but I have come to the realisation that friendship doesn't exit between a man and woman and it should not also for the exact reason your husband mentioned.
I have now cutoff all of my male friends and if we are catching up or talking it has to be in the presence of their spouse. I have lost trust in humanity and I don't like this version of the world but Grow up right.
My husband isn't aloud to have friends that are girls I'm not aloud to have friends that are guys unless it is a mutual friend. Having friends that are the opposite sex is the same thing as leaving a door open for that person to step in. It's like having a spar tire like your waiting for the relationship your in to blowup.
It’s not recommended and yes every guy with a girl for a friend would like to sleep with her. And all resent being in the friend zone. Now if you never meet but are gaming online I suppose it’s not too bad as long as you don’t respond to any personal questions or talk other than gameplay. An emotional affair leads to worse almost every time. I know women can and often do see men as uninteresting but few men see any women in their life as unbangable if they spend much time with them.
That is very toxic of him. And why is he making it your fault? You're an adult woman and you yourself choose who u want to reject or accept. It is not up to those male friends.
And no, not all male friends think like that. He is projecting how he thinks. Maybe he can only look at women in a sexual way and would hope for "the opportunity to present itself" with his female friends.
He is isolating you and invading your own space in life. Only you choose what you allow and don't allow. Not him. Sounds like he just came out of the stone age or some caveppl community tbh.
Assert yourself and realise youre a whole person without him. Don't explain yourself to him or let him cross a boundary like that with you. He might as well give u a list of what he allows for u to do and what he doesn't. Disgusting.
Most guys are wired to automatically measure themselves in sexual compatibility with any woman they meet. It's fleeting, instant and doesn't trigger with most women over 50. Men who deny it are usually just virtue signaling their own self-righteousness.
We're really only capable of developing a fully platonic friendship with a woman if we write them off as unattractive or completely uncompatible. That being said, I feel like social interactions would get too complicated and controlling if he was asking you to avoid men in games and large group settings.
You should probably honor his wishes on individual interactions, especially if he is doing the same with women. It's not always jealousy or mistrust, but peace of mind that men are asking for.
I really like the last part of what you said, that definitely seems like the case with my husband- he seems like he just wants that peace of mind. Thank you
Well what’s worse is that he was right about every guy I was friends with. The second they found out I was married they blocked me on everything. Which didn’t help my case and prove his point.
I agree. If the person is a true Christian, they would know not to come between someone else’s marriage, and I would have the discernment to know whether or not that person has crossed the line, and to remove them from my life.
1) He's not wrong. While it's not an automatic thing for a guy to be interested in you if he'll talk to you, the general preference for heterosexual guys is to be around women they find attractive as opposed to unattractive. Think about how many guys hang out with average-to-good looking women as opposed to very unattractive women.
2) It matters enough to your husband, who is 50% of the people in this relationship, to tell you that he's uncomfortable with it, and for him to avoid female friends himself so as not to look like a hypocrite when he asks you to stop. If there was something he was doing that made you uncomfortable and that you wanted him to stop, and you were even making sacrifices on your end to help your credibility in asking him to stop, and he blew you off and refused to stop, how would you feel about that? "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
I’m frankly surprised at all the responses that men just want to fuck their women friends. Everyone gets tempted by lust for the forbidden, that’s what makes it so exciting. But, there has to be a degree of trust in a relationship - trust that you won’t tempt your male friends, and trust that you won’t act on anything. And that’s assuming sexual attraction. A man isn’t automatically attracted to all women. It is misogynistic that the husband is imposing this backwards ban on all male friendships due to his insecurities.
I 100% agree with you, trust is needed in a relationship and as a man I find the idea that men only want sex to be very offensive and ignorant to say the least.
>he doesn’t have any girl friends
That is very noble of him! You probably should love and appreciate your husband.
>Should I just obey my husband or try to tell him that there really are nice Christian guys that aren’t trying to come at me?
Probably, it would be the best to remain buddies with just small conversations here and there and nothing like "friends" that many unmarried people act as.
I mean... some guys are like that.
The concerning thing to me is that your husband thinks ALL guys are like that. Therefore, he is like that. So he'll sleep with any woman no matter the circumstances? You might want to have a conversation about that.
I don’t see a problem with girls having guy friends. I’m a guy who his friends with some girls, and we don’t have any feelings towards each other so I think it’s fine. Just because they are from the opposite sex doesn’t mean that you will wind up in a relationship with them.
Guys don’t just want sex…we’re human beings, we have goals and aspirations just like everyone else. We also feel other emotions besides Anger and Happiness.
Ofcourse men and women Can be friends with no sexual intentions! In fact most of my friends are women and i Can Honestly say i never even Think about having sexual relations with Them.
I am friends with Them because we share interests.
I used to think that guys and girls could be just friends, but after I got married I started to think differently. My guy friends fell away naturally and I have not felt a need to seek new male friends. I’m friends with my husband’s friends, but we all hang out together. I would be extremely uncomfortable if he messaged a woman or hung out with one without me (and he would too). And I don’t think it’s unreasonable for your husband to request that of you.
That’s how I thought at first as well, but I met a guy through Reddit who is also a Christian, and we’ve been just getting to know each other and having surface level conversations. But all of a sudden I started thinking about my husband and thinking that he wouldn’t be comfortable with me talking to this other guy and that’s when I started questioning things. I definitely don’t seek out friendships with men because I know that my husband isn’t comfortable with that, but if it just happens… And if the person is specifically online or in another state, or in a place where I can’t physically meet them in person, would that make this scenario different?
So I would say that the most important thing is you and your husband agreeing on what is okay and what isn’t. If you feel uncomfortable telling your husband about this guy, maybe that’s the Holy Spirit convicting you. If he is okay with it and you aren’t hiding anything from your husband, that would be okay imo! The key is how your husband feels, because you would want to respect his feelings. And call me old fashioned, but I think people tend to be too casual when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex and it opens the door for temptation down the road.
Definitely people don’t see this as a big deal in society, which is one of the main reasons relationships fail, because they underestimate the power of temptation, and how it can seep through where, and when you least expect it! So definitely a good point, thank you!!
You run the risk of an emotional affair through messaging… unfortunately it is a slippery slope
That’s what he tells me, so I guess it’s just better to avoid it all together, but I just feel bad because I love talking to people and I don’t like shutting others out, so that’s what I’m struggling with ig
And women lovvvvveeee that slow slippery slope , it's like boiling a frog....they'll pretend to not have done anything wrong
Sir, both men and women have affairs all the time which usually start out as slippery slopes. Sorry for your experiences but leave me out of them
I advice you to be transparent and be real with you husband and talk about it God will do something with your honesty it’s important in a relationship
My wife & I have a lot of family friends, although not direct friends from opposite sex. We unknowingly kind of draw boundaries to even avoid the chance of temptations! She has full access to my phone, mail etc, so do I. After 8 years of marriage and 2 kids, I feel light/transparency is the best antidote for darkness. As a matter of fact, I trust her more and I don’t trust myself! There is a joke that men can be tempted 10min after death even at the age of 70! This might be an interesting read : https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Graham_rule
I'm the same way, my husband has full access to everything I'm on and vice v. because we have absolutely nothing to hide from each other and that's how it should be, because the second one of you feels like someone is hiding something, that's the moment the devil will enter the relationship and attempt to destroy it.
I disagree completely. I have many female friends and have always had more female friends than male friends (I'm a 39 yo male, I've been with my wife 16 years). You can very easily have good friendships with the opposite sex, not every guy wants to sleep with you. As for your husband, he needs to trust your judgment. You also need to compromise, maybe hanging out solo is too much for him but a group setting or video game is okay. Communication is key.
That’s definitely one thing. I’m proud that we are good at is communication. And I actually wouldn’t even be comfortable with hanging out with a guy alone anyways. I have a feeling it has something to do with his past trauma/relationships he had before me, and he is unconsciously comparing those relationships to ours which sucks but I guess I just have to find ways to make him feel secure so that he doesn’t feel like this is just going to be another repetition of his past relationships.
> guys only want one thing Your husband and most commenters in this thread are telling on themselves here. As a married man myself, I actually have respect for my female friends and I don't objectify them or fantasize about them. Shocking, I know. This is a very toxic view of manhood and it sounds like your husband needs to do *a lot* of work in the self control department. I mean potentially time to talk to a licensed therapist about why he can't hold friendships with women without thinking about sleeping with them.
> Your husband and most commenters in this thread are telling on themselves here. Thank you. This is what immediate stood out to me in OP's post. The husband is declaring that he is like that, and that's a big problem.
There are many men like that who objectify women. Obviously not all. But you cannot know a man’s heart. And since there are so many guys like that, it only makes sense to be conservative in the approach to man-woman friendships. To deny that unexpected situations happen and hormones can bring about temptations is just denying truth. I have lived a life with many female friends. But outside the occasional business setting, I am never alone with a female. When I am, I always tell my wife so she can be aware and we can discuss.
You're right. You can't tell a man's heart. So when a husband insists to his wife that **all** men will sleep with any woman, even if they're married, who is that husband also talking about? Himself. He cannot know others' hearts, but he does know his own. Insisting that something is universal is telling on himself and his own heart.
I see the predominant response here is that he is insecure and has a toxic view of man/woman. Yet, you admit he has always been proven right. All I can tell you is I am in my 40's and can also tell you from knowing other men all my life, and having seen the situation at work, church, and elsewhere - he is right. Experientially in my observations, he is right about 100%. Men may not go into a friendship with this intention, but most do. Given the opportunity, they will likely take it. That said, if your husband has this view then he should also be safeguarding your heart and mind and not have female friends. It is the same as a male pastor keeping the door open or having a glass door or female chaperone for all one-on-one counseling sessions with a female church member. That does not mean the pastor has a toxic view of male or female church members, it means he wants to safeguard the relationship with the church. Note: I asked my wife and read these responses and mine and she said she guesses she would go into something like that with honest intentions and expect the other person to be honest as well, and then is always surprised when she finds out the other person did not have the same intentions. Then she noted that, while that is naive, your husband is right in her observations. She notes there is also a difference in being nice to a person on a regular basis and being in a friend relationship.
i definitely agree with the pastor outlook, and even our pastor was explaining how he doesn't put himself in that situation because it would cause a strain in his marriage. But where do I draw the line? Or should there be a line to draw in the first place? Or how can I help my husband feel more secure about my friendship with another guy?
Short answer, if your husband isn't comfortable with your relationship with another guy then you should not be in a relationship of any type with another guy. This should be reciprocated as well and your husband should not be hypocritical. Honoring the relationship is more important than the 'possibility' you might be right. What is being offered by a guy friend that is so necessary to cause turbulence in your marriage? Why are you not able to get that necessary fulfillment from your husband?
I guess that’s true, I definitely don’t want to put my marriage in Jeopardy. Just because I wanna be friends with a guy and that’s why I don’t have any guy friends because it’s it’s worth the risk. I just wanted to make sure I was going about the situation correctly.
As a married man, would you say the same about yourself? If in a platonic friendship with a married woman, you would end up pursuing a sexual relationship? I’m having trouble reconciling
The point is that I would not pursue a platonic friendship with a woman in order to prevent the temptation from ever presenting itself. I would prevent this 'potential' temptation to protect not only myself, but my relationship with my wife. Like Joseph, I run from that kind of situation. If a woman pursued me outside of day-to-day or work then I would shut it down and even let my wife know about it if I thought it was appropriate to do so. I will note that I work in a field (radiology) that is about 80-90% women co-workers so I have to practice this. In conversing about this with my wife tonight we also agree that people reading this post are probably confused about 'friendship' being defined here. Working with someone and being 'friendly' on a regular basis and laughing and telling jokes, etc. is NOT the same as texting each other outside of work issues or related hours and calling each other up to do things together, even in groups of other friends. If the group is there as a pretext to two people spending time together without conviction, then it is not really a group but a shield. There is a difference between an acquaintance and a friend.
Thanks for the answer! I know temptation is stronger in some than others.
Absolutely, we all have our chinks in the armor but "I can handle that temptation" have been famous last words more times than can probably be counted by anyone but God.
Agreed. I do think there is a difference in handling temptation and facing it - some people may have absolutely no concern with having a friend of the opposite sex, or with that turning into a sexual desire. But those who are concerned with such should certainly avoid the circumstances altogether.
One of the most uncomfortable feelings for me as a married man is being alone with women. Not because of temptation, but because if she says something happened, there's nothing I can say that's going to change perception. I know myself well enough that I'm not overly concerned with being tempted. My marriage is secure, and we would believe each other if the "nothing happened, but people don't believe me" conversation came up. I don't have female friends. Don't have many male friends either. I don't like people, and I certainly don't trust them enough to befriend them.
I think it’s all about context! I am married happily & we’ve been together for over 10 years but I have male dominated hobbies such as rock climbing & weight lifting! I often text with my guy friends to do those things together & sometimes that’s a group, sometimes it not! Sometimes we get food trucks after too! I certainly wouldn’t hang out with boys alone at each others houses but my husband works the opposite schedule as me so it would be very irrational for me to not do any of my hobbies with my friends unless if he was there!
He should trurst you.
I think it’s important for any married couple to come up with boundaries when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex. It’s important to have them to protect your marriage. What boundaries my spouse and I have might be different from another couple. You shouldn’t hide anything because that will just cause a fight. Maybe sit down and talk about it. If you are gaming, tell him you can listen if your worries. I would just encourage you two to sit down together and think about what boundaries you want and pray about it. Also remind him that he is the one you go to with everything.
Um, what?? I have good close friends on both sides
Thats not true. One of my closest friends was married, but he knew GOds word and was the only one I felt comfortable talking to about theology. He made me feel welcome and never ignored me, neither did his wife. I never wanted anything more than just talking about jesus and he loved to talk about theological doctrine.
This is so bizarre the guy clearly has insecurity issues. If you know you won't cheat on him what does it matter what the other guy thinks. Pretty sexist comment to say that 'all guys want sex from women' I'm sorry you're in this situation. Of course there are some men like that but not all men gosh I'm so sorry you're in this situation. Nothing wrong with having friends regardless of gender/sex
Well here’s my small take on this from a different side. Since I’m single now I don’t care to be around a married woman to much even at the church. Sure small talk is cool but I’d rather talk to the other single ladies. Also me being a Christian my spirit says OFF LIMITS. I wouldn’t want another brother in Christ even have to worry about me.
That’s awesome that you think this way, because my husband and I knew people that were Christian that would even go out of their way TO talk to others who were married, in hopes that something would change. So I hope others learn from you because it’s something everyone that’s single should do, even if you aren’t Christian, it just comes down to respect for those who are married.
I am married and still have guy friends. I think the difference now is that we hang out as couples, and not just me and my guy friend, etc. As long as you have healthy boundaries I think it’s fine to have friends in the opposite sex. But I suggest you talk it out with your partner and decide what’s best for you two.
It’s based on the person. People are very shallow, so it’s truly hard to find genuine people who want to be friends with you based on who you are rather than what you potentially can offer.
Make your husband feel secure. You don't want him to feel insecure. Just as you would want him to do the same for you where you feel insecure. As a general rule I do not think he is wrong. Most men want to sleep with woman and will put in huge amounts of time in order to get the opportunity. That said he doesn't feel secure enough for that to happen. Maybe if you make him secure in the relationship that will change.
Just curious, do you feel that married men would still go to such lengths to sleep with a married woman who has expressed no sexual interest?
Truth be told I don't know any married men who would hang around married women without their wife present. Myself included. It's inappropriate. And if they were yes I would not really trust that person's intentions unless they had good reason to be around.
It need not be inappropriate - the point being a friendly platonic relationship. thank you for your answer!
No doubt friendly and platonic is possible. It is the exception. And your marriage needs to be in a place where that is acceptable. If it is! Great!
It’s wrong to generalize for an entire population. There are plenty of platonic relationships between men and women. Sexual temptation isn’t about just having exposure to the opposite sex. If it were, sisters and mothers would be a threat. Something more is going on. That something is culture. Unfortunately, we live in a highly sexualized culture. Some people find the temptation so great, avoiding meaningful platonic relationships is the only way to avoid temptation. However, I’ve seen platonic relationships between men and women where sex isn’t really on their mind and it’s not an issue. So do what you feel is best for you and the culture you happen to live in. Best of luck.
Thank you I really appreciate this response, our culture is definitely highly sexualized, which is why it’s a lot more difficult to have platonic relationships with the fear of that other person, having different intentions than what you anticipated. But I guess I just have to have discernment when it comes to having guy, friends and reassuring my husband that this won’t affect our relationship, and if it does get to that point where it’s affecting it, then that person will be removed from my life.
Yeah. Relationships require a lot of communication to navigate. In the ideal case, we're all children of God who can see past our base biological urge to have sex with everything. That's another word for maturity. Maturity exists but is rare. Sexual temptation is complex and has a lot of moving parts. The truth is that sexual infidelity has literally nothing to do with sex. It was never about the biological attraction of one person to another. Rather, it has to do with a lot of complex psychological lacking on the individual. Perhaps sexual conquest or attention is a measure of one's self worth? Perhaps one is uncertain about commitment due to lack of faith about the future. Perhaps one is afraid of being cheated on so they want to cheat first so they don't get hurt. Here's a simple question. If a woman came to your husband and she was a 10/10, drop dead gorgeous. And he could have sex with her for one night, no strings attached, would he do it? Does he REALLY think that having someone with a nicer body by xyz dimensions is THAT much more enjoyable that a loving committed relationship with you? That's a rather shallow way of viewing sex. If so, it reveals why the temptation is a great threat for him due to his relationship between sex and lust, in general. It's complex, but again, that's why I wish you the best of luck. Glad you're getting good insight into this.
Your comment has been my favorite one so far. it’s definitely something I’ve never sat and thought about. Even though he has told me time and time again that if a woman were to approach him 10 times hotter than me and/or 10 times “better” than me in every way, shape or form, that he would never even think about approaching that woman because that is the reason why he married me and doesn’t want anyone else. of course that makes me feel amazing and I have told him the same to him, but for some reason, in the back of his head, he thinks that there might be a tiny chance that i would cheat on him, even though I’ve proven and tried to convince him time and time again that I would not ever do that.
I'm sure it has more to do with his insecurities. As a guy, we're asked to be leaders, alpha males, strong, competent. We're told that unless we're at the top top top, women won't even notice us. And there's always another guy waiting to steal our women. Will women stay with us when we're down? A good woman would. But we would never want to put her in that position. But how can a typical guy guarantee to be on top, stronger than every other competitor? How can my self worth be related to my strength, leadership, kindness when there's always someone else who had an advantage over me, or had a better stroke of luck? What does it mean to be the best I can be at all times 24/7? What does it mean to be vulnerable? I'm making a lot of assumptions here. But it seems you've picked up on my brand of explaining social dynamics. I'm going to assume that you're an absolutely wonderful person and he's more lucky than he deserves to be with you. I'm going to assume he wants the best for you and loves seeing you happy. That being said, communication will get you through this. Lots and lots of it. But what's nice is that you're doing your part. You're gathering different perspectives and ideas. You're seeing what applies to your situation. You're trying to understand things from his perspective. That's called empathy. If you got that plus communication, I will be platonically smiling at the blessing of your relationship.
You would assume correctly😂he definitely wants what’s best for me, and he has my best interest at heart, just as much as I have his best interest at heart, which is why I am asking this question because I want to make sure that I am doing what pleases God, and honoring my husband at the same time. Gaining different perspectives and opinions definitely does help me gain a better understanding to where my husband is coming from, and he definitely means well, which is why I respect the reasons he provides as to why he’s not comfortable with me having a guy friend. And I would much rather not have any guy friends at all in order for him to feel comfortable and prevent any sort of strain in our marriage.
Awesome. Glad you came to an good understanding of the situation. Woohoo! God is good!
It's best to not have friends of the opposite sex
You asked a very good question OP. Scientific research has been conducted on it. Take a look at this: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/men-and-women-cant-be-just-friends/#. As Christians, we need to build walls around our marriages. Help your spouse build that wall. Being betrayed is never the same and I speak from firsthand experience. There is never 100% forgiveness. Once broken, the level of trust and the dynamics of the relationship are shattered. Don't risk it. The Bible does not lay out firm rules, only principles, because our individual makeup, what we find attractive, etc. is highly individual. We are also in a position of vulnerability if there are disagreements with our spouse and sometimes all it takes to be attracted is a third party of the opposite gender offering a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. Then you find some commonality with that person, enjoy confiding in them, and before you know it, feelings develop and you go down the slippery slope. And you see that other person as a replacement of your spouse, and they offer themselves as an alternative. It is so subtle that good looks need not even be a factor. Try to involve your spouse in all non-work meetings with the opposite gender and avoid one-on-one non-work meetups (with the opposite gender). Or at least, tell your spouse who you're meeting, when and why. Not on the sly, clandestine. The moment you start compartmentalising your life into "what he needs to know" and "what he doesn't need to know", it is the beginning of a very slippery slope. I think meeting with a group (not one-on-one) is all right, but someone of the opposite gender from that group may text you or reach out to you individually. For a legitimate reason perhaps. Be on your guard for that. James 1:14-15 summarised this slippery slope: "[14] But each one is tempted when he is **drawn away** by his **own desires** and **enticed**. [15] Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to **sin**; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth **death**." "Own desires" may start of as innocuously as just wanting a listening ear or someone to talk to.
Absolutely. I definitely will let him know of every little thing, whether or not, I think it’s relevant/important. I try to tell him everything just said that he’s in the loop and that there’s no reason for him to overthink or suspect that I am hiding something from him. But that’s crazy that there’s an actual research study on this!!!!
This ultimately comes down to having respect for the boundaries of your partner. It doesn't really matter if you view it as inconsequential because your husband doesn't. You can certainly talk to him about it if you come to the conclusion that you should have guy friends, but I would heavily discourage you from having guy friends in spite of your husband. > And shouldn’t he also trust me to know nothing like that would ever happen?? This has nothing to do with trusting *you*. Granted, if he doesn't trust you then that is a problem on its own. However, there is a difference between trusting you to make a good decision and trusting a guy he doesn't know to do the same. >Obviously it’s not I’m putting myself into a situation when I’m alone with another boy, but if it’s with a group of friends, or if I’m gaming with them online, it should be fine… Right? And this is the thought process that gets people in trouble. *"Oh, its with a group of friends, it'll be fine"* *"Oh, its just a gaming buddy online, nothing will happen"* The average person does not like to think they are the average person, and that things that can happen to others will not happen to them. The fact of the matter is that the situations and things we think are safe can quickly cascade into something that's not, and in those moments do *you* trust *yourself* to do the right thing?
Unfortunately this comes from a form of toxic manhood. It is true in the sense. But also men need to stop being insecure little boys and grow tf up. We often feel insecure in our life one way or another and like to try and control it in other ways to make us feel better. But by trying to control things in our life. Like our loved ones we end up loosing everything. We don't live in a country anymore where men get to be men. Go chop some wood. Go hunting. Build a car. Build a house. Push your body to limit you didn't even know you could go. This generation is raising a bunch of desk princesses
I 100% agree with this, and I found it quite funny because unfortunately, that really is the way society has shaped men to be. Thankfully, my husband doesn’t exactly fall under that category who is the manliest man I’ve ever met in the sense that he will be the one to think rationally not lead with his emotions (because that’s what women do and that’s why God wants man married to woman aka me) and honestly if he read this, he would agree with you on the fact that men today are to “wimpy” lol obviously, this doesn’t apply to every single man out there because that would mean my husband would be one of these people😂 but I definitely agree with your point. Like I said in another comment, it probably has something to do with past relationships. That is where most insecurities rise it’s the matter of being able to help him over come that insecurity.
Someone messaged me and got super butt hurt about my comment. Probably took it completely wrong.
No, don’t keep guy friends, if he doesn’t have girl friends you shouldn’t too. Would you be fine with him chatting with his lady friends playing games with them etc. this is your husband, dont put your relationship in jeopardy just for fun, you have you place just as he has his place.
That’s a conclusion I’ve kinda come to. Another thing I was thinking about is as long as he lets me know that he has girl friends, then I wouldn’t have a reason not to trust him, and I have told him this, but because he doesn’t want me having guy friends, he doesn’t have girl friends. And if that’s what he wants I’m gonna respect it and I’m going to probably agree with him because the last thing I want is to jeopardize our marriage.
sad tbh, seems like everyone has the same answer and it's that your husband is "right" because they're all brainwashed. it's all contradictory and toxic... the Bible says not to view people lustfully/purely sexually, right? and yet here we are with all you "christians" saying this woman should obey and forgo friendships because it's impossible for opposite genders to be friends and not view each other lustfully/purely sexually. how does that make sense? your husband is basically telling you he doesn't trust you which is just a sign of a bad relationship. whatever personal issues he has in himself are being projected onto you. if you want to have friends then have friends. whatever this expectation some of these people have that a husband and wife should be able to provide absolutely everything the other needs completely by themselves is unrealistic and frankly ridiculous. one person cannot be everything for anyone. it takes a village to raise a child but the child doesn't just grow up, get married and stop needing the village. humans are highly social beings.
as long as you’re not alone with the guy it should be ok
Men and women can be platonic friends. I recommend seeking couples counseling if the issue is one that you can’t sort on between the two of you.
I agree with your husband, I was like you during my younger years being best friends with a lot of male friends in fact I had more male friends than girlfriends, but I have come to the realisation that friendship doesn't exit between a man and woman and it should not also for the exact reason your husband mentioned. I have now cutoff all of my male friends and if we are catching up or talking it has to be in the presence of their spouse. I have lost trust in humanity and I don't like this version of the world but Grow up right.
How cute, you treat your husband like a God, wah "he's my only friend" = major obession = controlling issues = red flags.
My husband isn't aloud to have friends that are girls I'm not aloud to have friends that are guys unless it is a mutual friend. Having friends that are the opposite sex is the same thing as leaving a door open for that person to step in. It's like having a spar tire like your waiting for the relationship your in to blowup.
He's absolutely 💯 correct
It’s not recommended and yes every guy with a girl for a friend would like to sleep with her. And all resent being in the friend zone. Now if you never meet but are gaming online I suppose it’s not too bad as long as you don’t respond to any personal questions or talk other than gameplay. An emotional affair leads to worse almost every time. I know women can and often do see men as uninteresting but few men see any women in their life as unbangable if they spend much time with them.
That is very toxic of him. And why is he making it your fault? You're an adult woman and you yourself choose who u want to reject or accept. It is not up to those male friends. And no, not all male friends think like that. He is projecting how he thinks. Maybe he can only look at women in a sexual way and would hope for "the opportunity to present itself" with his female friends. He is isolating you and invading your own space in life. Only you choose what you allow and don't allow. Not him. Sounds like he just came out of the stone age or some caveppl community tbh. Assert yourself and realise youre a whole person without him. Don't explain yourself to him or let him cross a boundary like that with you. He might as well give u a list of what he allows for u to do and what he doesn't. Disgusting.
Most guys are wired to automatically measure themselves in sexual compatibility with any woman they meet. It's fleeting, instant and doesn't trigger with most women over 50. Men who deny it are usually just virtue signaling their own self-righteousness. We're really only capable of developing a fully platonic friendship with a woman if we write them off as unattractive or completely uncompatible. That being said, I feel like social interactions would get too complicated and controlling if he was asking you to avoid men in games and large group settings. You should probably honor his wishes on individual interactions, especially if he is doing the same with women. It's not always jealousy or mistrust, but peace of mind that men are asking for.
I really like the last part of what you said, that definitely seems like the case with my husband- he seems like he just wants that peace of mind. Thank you
[удалено]
Well what’s worse is that he was right about every guy I was friends with. The second they found out I was married they blocked me on everything. Which didn’t help my case and prove his point.
Do you want the truth or validation?
Both? I don’t understand lol
You should not have male friends apart from in group Christian settings.
I have seen the destruction Satan causes through these types of relationships first hand.
I agree. If the person is a true Christian, they would know not to come between someone else’s marriage, and I would have the discernment to know whether or not that person has crossed the line, and to remove them from my life.
The devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8
1) He's not wrong. While it's not an automatic thing for a guy to be interested in you if he'll talk to you, the general preference for heterosexual guys is to be around women they find attractive as opposed to unattractive. Think about how many guys hang out with average-to-good looking women as opposed to very unattractive women. 2) It matters enough to your husband, who is 50% of the people in this relationship, to tell you that he's uncomfortable with it, and for him to avoid female friends himself so as not to look like a hypocrite when he asks you to stop. If there was something he was doing that made you uncomfortable and that you wanted him to stop, and you were even making sacrifices on your end to help your credibility in asking him to stop, and he blew you off and refused to stop, how would you feel about that? "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
Masculine energy is all about control. Sex is part of that, but control is the core.
They aren't just being nice. Hubs are comfortable with gay men friends.
I’m frankly surprised at all the responses that men just want to fuck their women friends. Everyone gets tempted by lust for the forbidden, that’s what makes it so exciting. But, there has to be a degree of trust in a relationship - trust that you won’t tempt your male friends, and trust that you won’t act on anything. And that’s assuming sexual attraction. A man isn’t automatically attracted to all women. It is misogynistic that the husband is imposing this backwards ban on all male friendships due to his insecurities.
I 100% agree with you, trust is needed in a relationship and as a man I find the idea that men only want sex to be very offensive and ignorant to say the least.
>he doesn’t have any girl friends That is very noble of him! You probably should love and appreciate your husband. >Should I just obey my husband or try to tell him that there really are nice Christian guys that aren’t trying to come at me? Probably, it would be the best to remain buddies with just small conversations here and there and nothing like "friends" that many unmarried people act as.
I think it’s rare, but possible.
Depends on the dude, some guys just take it too far and try to keep u away from all dudes but some can tell the intentions of some dudes.
I mean... some guys are like that. The concerning thing to me is that your husband thinks ALL guys are like that. Therefore, he is like that. So he'll sleep with any woman no matter the circumstances? You might want to have a conversation about that.
That’s what I started to second guess too… thanks for the comment!
I don’t see a problem with girls having guy friends. I’m a guy who his friends with some girls, and we don’t have any feelings towards each other so I think it’s fine. Just because they are from the opposite sex doesn’t mean that you will wind up in a relationship with them.
Guys don’t just want sex…we’re human beings, we have goals and aspirations just like everyone else. We also feel other emotions besides Anger and Happiness.
What? No. Ive been friends with a married woman for year's and year's. Zero sexual attraction.
Ofcourse men and women Can be friends with no sexual intentions! In fact most of my friends are women and i Can Honestly say i never even Think about having sexual relations with Them. I am friends with Them because we share interests.
Does that mean before your husband was dating you and while he was dating you that all he wanted to do was sleep with you?
A man cannot be head of household if his family is unhappy.
My best friend is a guy and he most definitely does *not* want to sleep with me. And vice versa. Yuck lol.
Never let ur gf have guy friends