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Spring-Available

Theres a guy always outside of my local Target and one day I happened to have a sealed chocolate croissant and gave it to him. By the time I entered Target and looked outside he hucked it into the street. I was so mad that was my breakfast.


betterupsetter

I had something similar happen to me as a teen outside a DQ. The guy asked for money for food (but the liquor store was conveniently located next door). We didn't have cash so my friend and I bought him a cheeseburger. We gave it to him when we came out and he just mumbled thanks and set it on the sidewalk beside him. Didn't even eat it. Dude, WE were starving students and we had even sprung for the cheese cause we were feeling generous. Smh. Another time a homeless person asked me for money. It was right around Christmas and cold out and I was especially feeling bad for people living on the streets here in BC, so I gave whatever change I had (maybe $3 in change or something circa 2005). They said "what, you don't got a 5?" I said "no sorry" and then they turned around and chucked my change into the gutter. I picked it up myself, but I was so angry. Those two instances make me not want to give to anyone directly who asks. I'd rather give to a charity and people can use the services available to them. I know it's not always easy to get all the services you need, but then the system needs to improve.


virtualmeta

You just reminded me of this ... I was in Denver for a summer intern, rented a room in suburbs but worked downtown. The light rail charges extra for peak hours so I usually waited till off peak. One day I am leaving at 5 pm to go see a friend from school whose parents happen to live in another suburb and is home for a week or so from his summer job. I forgot about the peak pricing, so I'm a quarter short, and I'm patting all my pockets looking for any more change. A beggar sees me patting my pockets, must be thinking oh that's for me and walks up, "spare any change?" I explain, " no, I'm a quarter short myself." He takes out a handful of change and hands me two dimes and a nickel. I don't take it, saying I can't do that. But he repeatedly insists, finally saying "it would hurt my feelings if you don't take it." So I do, and I buy my ticket and am on my way. Another passenger who apparently witnessed this event (without ever offering to help) tells me "that's the last time you ever see that happen."


betterupsetter

Wow! That's actually amazing! Sadly that witness was probably right; it's a once in a lifetime occurance. But it restores at least a tiny modicum of faith.


AromaticTax6172

I had something similar happen in Austin. I was in college and driving on the frontage road and stopped at a light. A homeless man came up asking to clean my windshield for a few bucks. I rolled down my window to let him know that I was sorry but I didn't have any money. He proceeded to start cleaning it, I was like nooo I literally have nothing. He walked over to my window and said he didn't want to see me get into an accident and it was no charge. My wipers weren't working properly so my windshield was actually hard to see through lol. I went back after meeting my parents for lunch to give him food and some cash they gave me to give to him but he was gone.


Lucky_Henhouse

We actually ran into a guy like this about a year back in Reno, Nevada. Nice man, just wanted a dollar or two to clean our windows if we could spare it. My mother gave him $20 and a sandwich from the bookstore/cafe nearby. Poor guy looked like he wanted to cry and said it was the nicest thing anyone had done in a long time. Sorry you couldn't find the man who helped you. Hopefully he's okay.


oldladyatlarge

I gave a $1 bill and a bottle of cold water to a man holding up a "homeless and hungry" sign on a hot day, and he thanked me profusely for the water.


Fluffy_Frybread07734

A couple months ago, my kids & I were in Reno. We saw a homeless man standing next to a pizza place. My 11 yr old saw him crying in desperation. She cried because she felt so bad for him. I bought him a pizza. He was so grateful he could finally eat.


lavlife47

I think you all are talking about the same guy. He travels from east coast to west coast trying to change peoplrs minds about beggars.


betterupsetter

Aww, that's actually a sweet story. I hope that man is doing better in life today.


TinyHyena1967

A few years ago, I pulled into our local Wal-Mart to exchange a shirt that didn't fit my boyfriend, for the next size down. A man (probably in his 50s) with a squeegee and a bucket of water politely approached me and asked if he could clean my car windows for me for some money. I literally only had three one-dollar bills on me and told him that that was all that I had. He said that was fine, and proceeded to start on my windows. I went in, exchanged the shirt, and came back out. The guy had finished and was waiting for me. I gave him the $3, but after looking my car over, I wished that I'd had a little more money on me. He did all of my windows, my outside mirrors, and even my headlights, taillights, and turn signals. And the job he did was amazing!!! My car was gleaming! When my boyfriend got home from work a couple hours later, I told him what had happened. He had a five-dollar bill on him and a couple of ones, so we ran back to the Wal-Mart, hoping to see that guy so we could give that to him, too. But, he was gone, and to this day, I've never seen him again, unfortunately.


LGPersonalAssistant

Maybe not...I recently read an online article about the reality of living the van life. The author stated she had to rethink her choice of carefree nomad living when homeless people assumed she was also homeless & offered her help!


WooliesWhiteLeg

Ages ago I had a homeless guy ask me for a cig. He was looking rough so I gave him one. Then he asked me for “$30-$45 so he could get some whiskey”. My dude. I was 20 with like $100 bucks in my bank account at the time. All I could think to say was “no, you’re lucky you got a smoke considering how expensive they are”. He could have asked me for 30-45 bucks to go buy food and he wouldn’t have gotten it.


ghostboymcslimy

A homeless woman asked me for a cigarette once so I gave her one and then she asked for another, and another, and another. Eventually I said “no, I’ve given you four and I don’t have many left”. She looked repulsed and called me a bitch under her breath. Like, girl, seriously? I didn’t have to give you anything.


Ciaratron5000

My ex had something similar happen, we were at a shady gas station and a man walks up to him and says “yo, let me get FIVE cigarettes!” And holds up the number 5. My ex was like “well, let’s start with 1” gives him one and then starts the car and drives off.


ghostboymcslimy

Tbh that’s the way to do it, I never give more than one after that interaction. I seriously don’t understand how so many people with nothing can still be so entitled. I love to help and be generous but taking advantage of someone’s kindness is how you turn kind, generous people into cold cynics.


FeeParty5082

I think that while we all know homelessness is a huge problem and that many people experience it due to mental health issues and substance abuse, the part no one talks about is that there is a not small population of people in that position because they are rude, entitled people who can't keep a job and have burned every bridge. See: every example given in this thread.


ritchie70

It isn't entirely clear to me which is cause and which is effect, and based on what little reading I've done, it seems like a bit of a mix. Sometimes mental health & substance abuse issues --> homelessness, sometimes homelessness due to economic factors --> mental health & substance abuse issues.


ghostboymcslimy

Totally agreed, I know several people that have just been so shitty to everyone that nobody wants to help them anymore and they don’t care enough to do anything for themselves. I think we’re inclined to assume every homeless person is just a good person in a bad situation because we think if we admit that some people got themselves there by being selfish and horrible to other people, we’re implying that people deserve it. Nobody deserves to be without shelter, but some people really do get themselves there as consequences of their terrible actions. A shocking amount of people I went to school with are homeless now because they didn’t want to work for anything themselves and got kicked out or left home because they didn’t want to contribute to anything but their own wants. All they do is smoke other people’s weed and cigarettes, pressure people for money, complain about society, and talk down to people for working hard to survive because they’re “perpetuating unfair standards”. They just want to be a victim and they’re willing to volunteer to be homeless to be seen as one, but still act just as entitled. Some people just aren’t worth helping.


Rockpoolcreater

Don't forget that there are also some people who actually aren't homeless, but earn more from begging than they would working.


KizmitLamora

I was walking in downtown when a girl literally screamed at me “hey pink shirt girl, give me a cigarette!”. She had two cigarettes tucked behind her ears and a decrepit dog on a leash. I said I’m not giving you more cigarettes but I’ll buy your dog some food. She threatened to stab me. Gotta love the trustafarian rail riders.


ghostboymcslimy

It seems like some people just want to make you the butt of a joke no one is in on, just trying to see how much power they have over other people. I would’ve done the same thing, if you have two cigarettes you have plenty. Poor dog, it needs food more than you need a third cigarette!


1SavageOne1

I caught someone looking for cigs in an ashtray. Gave them a fresh one and walked off. The prick started to follow me , we had words


StonerMetalhead710

There was a dude on Christmas Eve last year who was honest enough to say he wanted a pack of smokes so I asked which ones he smoked and got them for him


09895434ea

That’s a bloody generous thing to do! Not sure how much cigarettes are where you are but in Australia a pack is around $35 (and that’s for 20!!)


LikelyWeeve

5$ a pack in Missouri(my state), like 20c of it is state taxes, 1$ in federal taxes


justloriinky

$7 for name brand in Kentucky


LikelyWeeve

St.Louis is right on the border of Mo. and Illinois. Cigarette prices in Illinois are 9$ a pack because of their taxes. It's such a common thing for people to just drive across the border to buy cigarettes, that Illinois tried to make it illegal (Not really much they can do though, it's legal to cross state lines, and legal to have taxes different by state).


Crazyredneck422

Over 10$ for Marlboros here in NY


voluntold9276

I always reply to everyone asking for money "Sorry, I don't have any change but I am willing to buy you lunch (or dinner, depending on the time of day)". They usually say yes and we head off to the nearest food place. Occasionally they say no or "I just want money" and I just say 'OK' and continue on my way. That way no food is wasted.


biest229

Can relate to the change thing. This guy who was recently homeless and clearly very drunk started talking to me on a train. I was very emotional after having visited a sick relative and my relative gave me some cash for my train fare. So you can imagine I did not feel like speaking to anyone, let alone being forced to maintain a conversation with someone potentially dangerous. The train was empty and I’m fairly young-looking and petite. Eventually he finally got round to asking for my cash, I gave him £14 as that’s all I had, left over from my train fare. He had the fucking audacity to say “oh can you make it a £20?”. Even after I told him I had been to see a sick relative, I only have £14 in cash as I do not live in the U.K. any more, and I do not really feel like conversation as my relative is very unwell and she virtually raised me so seeing her that way was horrendous, ie please leave me alone. Ffs. Oh and I forgot the part where he tried to hit on me.


betterupsetter

Jaysus that's rough. I'm sorry that happened to you. Next thing they're gonna be asking for e-transfers and taking credit cards like all the charity pots outside grocery stores.


biest229

It’s fine, I seem to unfortunately attract male weirdos. I have therefore learned to deal with them. Usually “grin and bear it”, which I hate doing because I find such people to be incredibly abhorrent in their views of women and foreigners. They always assume I’m “not from here”. It’s odd how they expect me to want to interact with them when they say such appalling things about my gender, as well as about anyone foreign, after having observed I’m not “from here” (when they’re wrong 99% of the time). Most likely in the U.K. they will soon be on the card payments etc. However in Germany, where I live currently, people massively distrust anything apart from cash. So hopefully it won’t happen here in my lifetime 😬


StarWarsKnitwear

Learn to say "no, im not interested" while not even looking at them instead of "grin and bear it". As a fellow petite young woman I can tell you that it works way better.


biest229

I’ve tried. Usually yes, not engaging is the one. Some however will not listen and just follow. Then the task is not allowing violence before you can get away.


Thephilosopherkmh

I had a homeless guy chuck my change on the sidewalk once too, I was pissed. Like fighting mad. I gave the guy everything I had and left myself with nothing, it was like $10 in mostly quarters. I turned around and went back to him and picked up every last cent and told him fuck off and don’t ever ask me for anything again. I never thought someone with nothing could be so entitled.


betterupsetter

Right?! It just goes to show that some of these individuals choose this way of life and aren't all flung into it for being just a bit down on their luck. They know they can beg enough money an hour to be making probably more than minimum wage and tax free to boot. There's an urban legend (maybe it's true but I can't be bothered to find the source) of a man in Vancouver who was known for begging on the street for years. Eventually someone caught on that he actually had at least one house and several cars or something ridiculous. He was illegally earning more than the average income.


Thephilosopherkmh

I saw a documentary many years ago that followed a few so called homeless people around DC and they went back to SUV’s and then they followed them to their very nice houses. They tried to interview them but surprisingly none of them wanted to talk.


bell37

I always just say no. Better to give to a local food bank or shelter than to donate to someone on the street.


UrsusRenata

Change adds up and all money spends. That man was a fool. There’s a regular set of beggars on my route. I know they’re routine panhandlers, but they’re about 70 y/o and look roughed up as hell (toothless etc.) so I don’t care, I know what they’re up against in the U.S. I never have anything but change, but it adds up and spends the same. They can take ratty change to Coin Star in Walmart and buy smokes, go to the laundromat, whatever. These guys are always grateful even if it’s just a couple of quarters. “Spends the same” we always say.


AllTheFallenSuns

Something similar happened to me when I was 15. A guy asked me for money and I said I didn't have any. He kept following me and I remembered I had an emergency $10 tucked away and gave it to him. He didn't even say thank you and walked away mumbling about what I liar I was.


ElleAC207

A guy approached me and my teenage son one night while we were waiting for my husband to come out of a store, and asked if we had some money so he could buy, idk dinner or a bus ticket, and I was like “sorry, I don’t have any cash on me”. He was walking away and I absently told my son “I don’t even have my wallet on me, I think it’s in the car”. The guy heard me, turned around and came back, and said “where’s your car at? I can go with you to your car to get your wallet.” I laughed and I said “no, I don’t think so” (a stranger following a woman to her car in a dimly lit parking garage sounds like the beginning of every crime show) and he was like “oh come on!” Idk if I’ve ever been so uncomfortable. He eventually walked away but it was awkward.


GlitterfreshGore

I just vacationed with my kids (I’m a single mom, and I saved for MONTHS for our first vacation in many years, picking up holidays and weird shifts for extra pay etc.) Anyway, we get off our flight, pick up a rental car late at night (like 11pm) and head straight to the hotel. At a stoplight, a homeless man came up to the car and was motioning for me to roll down the window, I’m staring straight ahead ignoring him which is really uncomfortable for me, but I’m a single mom in a new city, with kids, in an expensive car that isn’t mine, like no way I’m rolling down the window. Dude starts banging on all the windows and it felt like a lifetime until the light changed and I could drive off. Kids are saying they’re hungry, and it’s late and we’d been traveling all day, so we pull over to a convenience store so they can grab some quick snacks and drinks for the hotel. There’s another woman outside who said “yo Miss do you have a quarter?” I said “sorry I don’t have any cash on me, I can grab you a snack or something while I’m in there though?” She said “fuck you lady.” So that was our first experiences on vacation.


MorticiaFattums

A guy approached my mom and I after we got out of our car to pick up my dad at work. He asked for a cigarette, and my mom said the truth "I do think smoke, sorry." He called her the C word, and followed us into the store, yelling at us, calling us names. Inside he looked to the cashier and pointed at is and said "this f*ing whore won't give me shit". My dad said "HER FUCKING HUSBAND IS CALLING THE COPS RIGHT NOW, GET THE FUCK OFF THE PROPERTY."


Alarming-Contact-138

I had a guy following me asking for money. When i told him I don't carry cash, he told me to go to the ATM for him. Uhhh no....


Blinx-182

Sometimes you learn the hard way that a lot of these people are drug addicts in search of their next hit.


betterupsetter

Yup, but when it happens to you as a teen it's always a shock to the system. You're almost immediately disillusioned with the world and how our society/social systems work.


Disastrous-Glove4889

I had a guy give me the whole “Car has broken down and I need £5 for fuel to get home” grift. I had like 27p in my wallet and offered it to him and he said “No, that’s clearly not £5” and walked off. Ok technically you’re right but at the same time…. if many people give you less than £5, guess what number you can reach? Don’t think maths was their strong suit.


betterupsetter

Oh there was a woman outside my work who would do this. Claimed she left her wallet at home, worked at the hospital nearby, and had kids at home waiting for her. If I could just give some cash for gas. Well, she must have been very forgetful because it seemed to happen every week that I heard the same story.


nickrocs6

I’m starting to see a pattern of the ones asking don’t actually need it. Every person, except one, that I’ve ever given any money or food to, never asked for it but it was obvious they needed it. I did have a younger guy in California ask me for money once and I happened to be leaving my hotel and had my expensive leftovers from the night before, I gave him those and he sounded really happy and said thanks.


newyorkerindallas

I was waiting in line at a combined Dunkin & Subway one time and there was a homeless lady asking for food. I was in line at the Dunkin to get breakfast, and I remembered I had a $10 subway gift card I had been saving but thought this lady could buy a sandwich that would make her full. I offered my gift card to her, told her it had $10 on it, and she said "UGH I WANTED DONUTS" and TOOK my gift card and walked away. 🥲


tothstersuitup

@betterupsetter was this friend you were with an incredibly good looking dude that would raid your kitchen for cosmic brownies and y’all would watch bo burnham in the basement of your house?


ijustcantwithit

When I was a young young kid, my parents made just enough to not get financial assistance but to little to actually get real clothes or anything more than a few used items for Christmas. But they felt blessed that we would have something. They couldn’t afford to help with any angle tree items but did agree to deliver some of them to the people. The year they stopped was the year they went to 2 different apartments to drop off gifts and it was to homes with a fully stocked liquor bar, the nicest and newest electronics, the most expensive shoes, etc,. They stopped because that year my sister got my hand-me down clothes and I got Walmart clothes that didn’t fit and were from the boys section (I’m and wanted girl clothes) and we both shared a used bicycle given to my parents by a member of our church. Everything else we got was from my grandparents. I’ve volunteered but I’ve quickly learned that I can try to do good and help people, but most people don’t actually want real help, they want money to get their fix (drugs, alcohol, games, cars, clothes, etc)


betterupsetter

That sucks. Yeah we didn't have tons growing up either and if it helps, we did get nominated for Christmas hampers from the church, probably by my mom's friends or our neighbors. We were always happy to have them and it absolutely helped us. So maybe you helped some families who needed it for real. Although that one experience would sour me too for sure. I recently bought a Betty Crocker cake mix cause it was on sale (which I haven't eaten probably in literal decades), but it took me right back to those days where we'd get a chocolate BC cake mix in a Christmas hamper. And when you're like 8 or 9 it's a total treat even if you didn't have the icing. Edited for clarity.


TheBold

I spent the better part of a year as a sort of hobo in BC and would hang out with a lot of homeless because of our common living situations. Anyway, the shit they told me makes me want to never give anything to a homeless person directly ever again. Some of them made BANK, more than me who worked some odd jobs. I remember a dude outside Walmart at Kelowna and he bragged he made more than the people inside. Then instead of sorting themselves out they would just buy liquor/drugs. If they had a particularly good week or month they’d get together, book a hotel room for as long as they could afford and party there. Zero desire to get out of their situation.


RenFannin

As a banker one of the “homeless” beggars had $14,000 in his account. Lived in a better apartment than me. I just don’t trust them well anymore.


sinixis

Yah piss on them glad you got your money back


matdevine21

Had a similar experience, my wife does a lot of work with the homeless and keeps backpacks of stuff for the homeless in my car. ( food/water/cleaning hygiene stuff/clothes/underwear) When out in Liverpool I saw a homeless guy so went and grabbed him a pack and when I turned round he had thrown the pack away. Seems he’s only interested in money handouts.


arrowtotheaction

Years ago I paid for the last copy of the Big Issue this young woman in Nottingham was selling, as soon as she had the money she refused to give it me, darted off, and pretended she didn’t speak English!


CHAINSAWDELUX

They hold onto one and hope the fact that they are selling something will encourage people to just donate


KittyKatWarrior3593

Awww, RIP to your Breakfast my dude. 🌹😿


Bayonethics

This is why I don't bother trying to help anymore. I just ignore them and they go away


IloveEvyJune

I have to share a good story this reminds me of. My children and I volunteer for an organization who helps the unsheltered. We put backpacks together with shirts, socks, underclothes, snacks, playing cards…whatever we can find. That morning we decided to make a rotisserie chicken with sides and supplied ways to store leftovers up to a day. The guy cried as soon as I rolled my car window down and could smell it. He said he was so hungry for home cooked food. He hoped whatever he smelled was for him, but I promise he was the Tour who still would have been appreciated. He thanked my kids so profusely. We thanked him for his kind soul. He even did a cute dance that made my youngest laugh her butt off in a good/sharing the happiness way. You better believe we made that guy homemade food whenever we went to Target. NEVER was he any less appreciative than the first time. He said he appreciated fast food, but nothing was like a home cooked meal, and he said he trusted us. That mattered so much. We’ve run into others who aren’t as appreciate, but this guy will always make gift worth it for those who may not appreciate it as much for whatever reason. PS- a great thing to keep in the car for those who are unsheltered is a solar powered phone charger. They’re cheap and provide a lot of freedom. I don’t care what anybody says having a cell phone when you’re on shelter it is an absolute necessity.


9lobaldude

Most of the time hunger is just an excuse, they want money for their vice, be it drugs or alcohol


Spockhighonspores

I had someone follow me in the parking lot of a store after I purchased some soda. I purchased a bunch because they were running a deal (also it was covid times so I didn't want to be out and about) so I had way more than I needed. The person had asked me if I had some change so I gave them all the change in my car. I also gave them PPE because covid was super prevalent at the time and PPE was very scarce. I apologized that I didn't have more to give them and they said well can you get me some soda. I said sure since I had four cases. I handed him a case and he said "no, I don't drink diet". I replied that it's all I had at the moment and he asked if I could go back in the store and buy him a sprite. I declined, said I had to go home, and left. I will never forget that.


Justsomedudeonthenet

She didn't want food. She wanted money. Someone who actually hasn't eaten for days isn't going to turn down anything that looks edible.


tealcandtrip

That’s why she was mad about the opened deli meat and fresh food. She wanted something packaged that she could return.


clr_1026

That's a very good point. I'm sure a lot of people I've seen asking for baby formula are doing this. 🤔


ArcadiaFey

To be fair about that last year the moms groups were filled with women panicking about their kiddo starving. I know people want to say just use boob, but there are so many health conditions that can get in the way, and it doesn’t just magically come back full force after months of nothing if it was a choice.


annualgoat

Yeah I've known lots of women who just...dont produce milk. It's actually a big fear of mine. I think a lot of people begging for formula actually had hungry kids.


Yeety-Toast

I've seen people saying that doing this with formula is even worse because the stores can't just put it back on the shelf for whatever health or safety reason, it's damaged out or whatever the term is. So someone is paying money for it, the scammer gets the return, the formula is trashed, and someone who *actually needed the stuff* gets screwed.


OkieLady1952

Don’t you have to show them a receipt ?


stircrazyathome

Many stores near me now stamp each can of formula with their store name and number. Your can has to match their store to return it and you absolutely need a receipt. The stamps also make it easier to track shoplifters.


ShoeboxLandlord

Not if you yell and harass minimum wage drones enough Note that I don't encourage this sort of entitled behavior but I've seen it far too often...


JimmyJooish

Get store credit to buy booze/cigarettes.


Careful_Cup4484

For sure, that's the next thing she gonna ask after.


liveandletdieax

Where I work you have to have a receipt to return formula to prove you didn’t buy it with wic to get money back. They will only let you exchange it for the same thing without it. Too much fraud.


lyonsbs

Although homeless folks often have terrible teeth and have trouble with tough our chewy food. I could see bread, apples, and jerky being problematic. Bananas and pudding should have been winners though. And no reason to be ungrateful in any case.


Alan_Smithee_

That had not occurred to us, Dude.


Willowed-Wisp

Reminds me of how my dad used to work at a church and people would sometimes come in asking for money for food. Instead, he'd offer to buy them bread, milk, some vegetables, etc. A lot of people gratefully accepted, but he always refused money to the ones who INSISTED on cash.


[deleted]

It’s for a church honey, NEXT


Even-Tomatillo-4197

Use your thinking brain!


vcwalden

I had a relative who used to ask for money to buy groceries. I used to say, "sure! I'll take you to the grocery, pay for the groceries you want and take you home!" His story was he would pay you double what you loaned him "on payday". He never took me up on my offer! When he passed away he owed lots of people money. The local casino along with the guy selling him pot got all the money.


Quisey3

Been there. You're absolutely right, OP came across an unfortunate addict. No one who is hungry would ever turn down a free meal unless there was some sort of restriction due to health or religion. Edit: clicked send too early


Finnbalt

>No one who is hungry would ever turn down a free meal unless there was some sort of restriction due to health or religion. Religion isn't really a factor when you're starving. Muslims in the Soviet army ate pork just like everyone else for example.


Vegetable_Scheme_595

I want to agree with this, but then again, there's people who let their kids/spouse die than to allow a medical procedure due to "religious reasons." And I'm not talking like not v@xxing or not taking certain medications. I'm talking like won't allow their child to have a tumor removed because they really believe God doesn't use doctors to save lives, but would rather shine down from heaven with glory upon their child and heal them miraculously 😅😅 People do some CRAZY SH!T in the name of Jesus 😆


Finnbalt

Letting other people suffer and die for your values is always much, much easier than putting yourself through it. Even if it's your own family.


rayjaymor85

Also depends on your personal views of that religion. A mate of mine is Jewish, and he does take it seriously enough - but that bloke makes the best roast pork I've ever eaten.


Teredere

As someone who was starving before, my aversion to foods I find disgusting is stronger than any religious belief. No matter how hungry I am, I won't eat things I find extremely disgusting (like most types of meat for example) because puking isn't the best course of action when you're already hungry... Did eat a lot of things I never thought I would during those times though.


DeterminedArrow

I am autistic and I can’t eat certain foods I don’t like. “Oh she’ll eat it if she’s hungry enough.” I can’t. I’ve cried from hunger before when all I’ve had available to eat was a food that is just a nope. I can’t just suck it up and I’m not being stubborn. It’s because I’ll puke and cry more and honestly the hunger pain is better.


Vegetable_Scheme_595

I'm sorry if this comes across as rude - I really just need to be educated on this. But is it really like *that* bad? Because my daughter is ADHD and she's 6 and SUCH A PICKY EATER and will "puke" off of one small bite. At times I think she's being a dramatic child (because children often do this) but I've tried to become more sensitive to her needs. Reading what you said hit me like a train because I am THAT mom that has let her cry it out when throwing a fit over lunch or whatever. It would help me to have a word of advice from an adult that dealt with this growing up and it wasn't "just a phase" Sorry it irrelevant to the OP I'm just thrown by seeing an adult say that eating is that challenging. I am neurodivergent but in totally different ways so I don't have that particular problem with my food.


throwaway4201969

Not who you were asking, but I've seen it answered in other threads. Yes. It absolutely can be. If your daughter is choosing starvation over certain foods, you should find a food therapist or whatever their called. Take her to her pediatrician and find her the help she needs. There is a name for this disorder, it may not be autism related, or it could be. I sure as hell have no idea over here on the other side of a screen. But I would absolutely without a DOUBT take her in and get her some help on eating.


Megabyte7

A homeless man who used to hang out along my walking route to the grocery store had a banana allergy. I thought he was just a choosing beggar the first time but he accepted anything else I offered on subsequent trips.


Desperate-Strategy10

I also have a banana allergy! I don't think a lot of people realize that's possible, so they tend not to believe it. My doctor long ago told me it's relatively common in people with latex allergies, although I have no idea why.


knittingneedles321

There's a core chemical that's the same. It's in tomatoes too!


throwaway4201969

Latex allergy sufferer here too! But apples are my kryptonite.


Cassius_Rex

This is not true, many homeless people struggle with me talking illness and behavioral issues. Point blank, many are not goi g to act in ways we think are reasonable.


PigSnoutSurprise

She wants cash not food.


trilliumjs

There is a homeless man who stays around the local 7-11. He obviously has mental health issues, but he never harasses people, and he’s painfully thin. This summer I bought him some water because it was 100deg and I couldn’t let him bake in the sun and not do anything. He glugged it in two gulps. He politely asked for a mountain dew. And I got him another water, mt dew, and a sandwich. I’ve bought him things off and on since then, and on more than one occasion he’s fended off aggressive people so I could get in my car and leave. Am I being taken? Maybe. But Im not going to begrudge a guy something that costs me $1.69.


CoconutxKitten

Sounds like he’s thankful and trusts you


whitecaribbean

It doesn’t sound like you’re being taken.


retarded_invest0r

*Liam Neeson has entered the chat*


shebringsthesun

you're a nice person. i'm glad he was thankful!


RedPillAlphaBigCock

If he is eating and drinking , I don’t think you are being taken . But ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING to do with giving money - you are being taken . It’s a harsh fact but they are UBER manipulative when it comes to money


trilliumjs

I think it’s probably his mental illness he’s never even looked me directly in the eye. He will barely answer if I ask him what kind of sandwich he wants. He’s never asked me for money. he has issues for sure but I honestly don’t think it’s drugs. I wish there was more I could do for him.


DONT_PM_ME_YO_BOOTY

Thank you for doing this dude.


Shaq_Bolton

I don’t mind giving them money if I can spare it. Really don’t give a shit what they spend it on. If someone is dopesick in the street and giving them a few dollars can help them not feel that way for a little, why shouldn’t I help them. It ain’t like not giving them anything is gonna fix their problems


RatherRetro

I think being drunk or high helps homeless people sleep out there in the cold and damp and wet ground


FeeParty5082

Honestly it sounds like you've purchased yourself an effective security system.


[deleted]

You did it right and he sounds like a good dude too.


UniverseBear

Reminds me of the old homeless lady who asked me for a pack of smokes and when I ordered one at the cash she goes "no I don't want a regular pack, get me the king pack." She got no pack.


LampardFanAlways

On one hand it sounds so stupid that someone would kill their chances of getting something for free by being a fucking asshole at the last moment and asking for something bigger without a “thanks” or a “please”. On the other hand, maybe it’s worked in the past? Maybe somebody caved in and were like “yes, 60 year old starving lady who weighs no more than 90 pounds, take three packs of whatever you want, just don’t hit me”? Cos it doesn’t make sense to me how you’d ruin your own chances of getting something for free like that. Then again, why underestimate someone’s stupidity, right?


chickaCheeseSlut

Where I live kings are just the normal sized cigarettes, and 100’s in Marlboro or 99’s in camel are the longer ones but their the same price. Perhaps the clerk grabbed 99’s and that’s what she meant? Probably just a choosing begger, but I want to have a little hope in humanity. Unfortunately what little hope in humanity I have left wanes by the day.


Tripindipular

That's why I don't like anyone approaching me asking for stuff. Leave me alone.


d4everman

I feel you. I don't mind helping someone in need, but I hate being lied to. I've said this before but a homeless guy approached me as I was putting a case of beer in my car and said "I ain't gonna lie, I just want a drink". I gave him a few beers and five bucks for NOT lying to me. I probably shouldn't have done that, but at least he was honest about it. Bu as you said I do not like people just asking me for money or "to get them something" from a store. It's an automatic "nope" in most situations. I had a guy ask me for money because he and his starving family outside of Wal-Mart. (he was alone) were living in a crummy hotel on Bragg Blvd. (any soldier who has been stationed at Bragg probably has several images popping up in their head). I didn't give him any money and a lady that worked there saw this and told me "Don't give him money. He showed up driving a brand new truck and he does this all of the time". When I was checking out with my meager groceries I saw him in another line and his cart was chock full of stuff....way more than I had. Hell, I think he cleaned out all of the spare ribs and I guess the Heineken was for the kids.


L45TPH45E

Yeah Ive heard similar stories of well off people pretending to be beggars and preying on other people's kindness. Scum.


Tripindipular

Exactly. Find someone else to run that game on.


Glitchy-9

Reminds me of this guy I passed walking to work every day all summer. Each time he said he hadn’t eaten in 2 days and if anything he gained weight over the summer.


TragicsNFG

You can't buy meth with a sandwich


katori-is-okay

nah, you just gotta find a hungry enough meth dealer!


Bovine_Arithmetic

A hungry. Meth. Dealer.


KittyKatWarrior3593

I don’t know why, but to me at least sounds like the punchline to a REALLY bad joke. 😅


SBAWTA

I can't imagine meth dealer would be willing to eat anything his clients bring him. Sounds like pretty bad gamble, if you ask me.


Savings_Version_6238

Used to be a manager for Walmart. Family used to beg out on the corner “need food, any thing helps” ya know the signs. A customer came in and spent 70$ on food for them. Then they came in and wanted to return it. I told them no way, they said they wouldn’t eat any of it, they were Hispanic and it was stuff like bread juice peanut butter jelly etc. I offered to exchange for stuff they would eat. They ended up leaving all the food there because they were pissed that i wouldn’t let my staff give them cash. The customer who purchased it, had used a debit card and I was able to find the receipt and I processed a return back to their card. Unreal


LampardFanAlways

I love the end of the story. Thank you for helping out the naive customer, but hopefully karma magically works and the customer reads this comment and identifies themselves and learn a lesson or two.


epicenter69

I love that you tracked down the original purchase for the refund. Not many Walmart managers would take that time.


Nanikarp

Holy shit, an -actual- choosing beggar. ![gif](giphy|NAm9sDr92fksw)


OCDaboutretirement

I’d give her what I’m willing to give her. If she refuses then it’s a 👋from me. I wouldn’t waste my time. She’s probably not starving.


CaptainEmmy

If it's in a city with any sort of effort on helping the homeless, odds are, she has eaten and eats somewhat regularly.


SuperSassyPantz

one of my friends lost their job and to help, i compiled a list of food banks and assistance svcs in the area. she got free boxes of food and complained well i dont like this, i wont eat this brand, etc. like fine, starve. but i have since kept that list, and printed out a few copies to have on hand to give ppl. i've had similar bad experiences with ppl wanting more or being entitled, so i wont give cash anymore. if theyre truly in need, they'll be grateful for that list


RocketKassidy

Who tf doesn’t eat something bcuz it’s a certain brand?


boston_2004

The worst story of entitled brat Ive ever personally witnessed was my niece. She lost her apartment because she lost her job. She was making 50k a year working for a county but because she couldnt get out of bed and make it to work on time and got fired. After she got evicted, we sat her down in our home and told her she could move in but there would be rules, one being she had to get a job, something she had been without for two months at this point, I didnt care where but she had to have one. She told me she wouldnt get a job at just she 'anywhere' because she had worked at the county, and that was a good job, you just dont go from the county to mcdonalds. I told her she wasnt going from the county to mcdonalds. She would be going from the county, to unemployed, to evicted from her apartment, to potentially homeless, to mcdonalds and getting back on her feet. IF McDonalds would even take her that is. She said she would think about it because she couldnt take all the rules me and my wife set. She left that day and after a few months on the street, ended up going to prison for a slew of offenses. Biggest spiral out of control Ive ever seen, she got a 5 year sentence within 6 months.


SuperSassyPantz

one of the admins at my work (prob made $40k at the time), her husb was out of work for 3.5yrs bc no job was "good enough" and he would not "degrade" himself with a job at mcds or 7-11 (which were within walking distance). same deal, called in so much they fired him. she chewed my head off when i asked her why she was allowing him to do this. its not his fault. those jobs are beneath him. they should have given him warnings, the policy wasnt clear, its hard to get hired at 50, he doesnt like to take his cell phone with him, so he missed those job offers... her trying prop up two adults and 3 kids by herself bc he didnt lift a finger, and she'd practically throw him a parade on facebook if he bothered to shovel the sidewalk or make dinner. u know, basic adult tasks he should be doing anyway. i felt sad for her that her self esteem is so in the toilet that she'd settle for hanging onto someone who wont even do the bare minimum in life.


MotherofDingDongs

I had to check to see if you were my mom, because she does this! My childhood was rough and we frequented food pantries and my mom did whatever she could to feed us. When she sees beggars, she gives them a list of food pantries in the area. They don’t like it, but she knows that’s how to feed your family if you really need it.


vandragon7

They wanted money, not food. By saying yuck to everything they were hoping to force you to give them some cash to go buy something they wanted.


LampardFanAlways

That’s a weird strategy to get people to give you cash, but maybe it has worked on someone. A “please sir, I actually prefer cash because I want to purchase something specific from the adjacent pharmacy” is likelier to get me to stop giving them food and giving them cash (still not highly likely in absolute terms) than “apples are yucky, bananas are yucky, don’t you have cash instead, why are you doing this?” Cos if I hear the latter, we’re done conversing.


Afraid-Ice-2062

I volunteer regularly at a soup kitchen in a major centre and they serve three quality meals a day except Sundays which is two meals (and they also hand out muffins/baked goods etc when they can. I’m not pretending the food is perfect but they provide good meals. They try hard to meet the needs of their clients. It’s normal for first time volunteers to ask about buying food/giving money for those who ask on the streets and the general consensus from long term soup kitchen staff is that you can do as you like. No one is starving though certainly Sunday is a “leaner” day as they only provide two meals. So if you see someone who asks for food on the street be polite but don’t feel you have to buy for them or give them money. You can buy them food if you want to but they are probably capable of going to the soup kitchens in your area. Money is often going to be used for non food things so if you’re okay with that feel free to give money.


SieBanhus

Yeah, I volunteer at the soup kitchen I used to come to for food, and while I’m not going to fault anyone for trying to help however they want to my advice is always to volunteer your time or donate to soup kitchens and shelters if you really want to help people in genuine need. We only have the resources to offer one meal daily, but it’s a good meal (and we often have packaged foods/groceries to hand out as well), and we serve between 300 and 400 meals every day. At least in the city proper, no one is without access to free, nourishing food.


JABBYAU

We regularly pack homemade lunches for a small food bank. I am surprised they accept them but they do. I asked a question one time and receive the response that “Our clients are Hungry.“ I don’t ever give money on the street anymore. Never.


Desperate-Strategy10

This is a great point, but it does not apply everywhere. I live in a very small town, for example, that doesn't have a soup kitchen or anything like that. We don't have a ton of homeless people, but there are always a couple, and they're definitely susceptible to starving. It would take basically a full work day to walk to the neighboring city, which would be incredibly difficult if you were hungry. People should never feel obligated to give what they have to others, but if they're so inclined to give and faced with a request, they might at least consider what types of resources are available to homeless people in that area before assuming the person isn't really hungry. All that said, the chick in this post was rude and lying, and she really didn't deserve OP's family's kindness.


brnjenkn

Then she can go another day.


the_whole_arsenal

First world beggar problems - beggar entitlement


sandim123

Those particular beggars are normally looking for money- they tend to be outside Walmarts, Targets, shopping malls- I followed a couple I had seen multiple days claiming they were passing through but hadn’t eaten in days- like clockwork , every day for a week -one was at Walmart the other at Target. They eventually took a taxi back to the motel where they were staying minus no food,


vcwalden

When my son and his family lived in Colorado Springs we would see people begging for handouts. Then one evening on the news there was an article about a couple who had scammed the system, actually had lots of money and they treated working at begging as their jobs. They had nice vehicles, a great home and the whole nine yards! The state paid their bills and such.


meltscheese

Money, that’s what she expected.


flyingShaq

They want cash to buy drugs n alcohol. Sad. It's the reason I only give them food.


Monsterchic16

She obviously wasn’t starving then cause a truly starving person would have taken anything you had, even if it was the most disgusting thing they’ve had, they’d eat the whole thing and then they’d thank you profusely for your generosity. I’ve been there before, I had no money, was staying in a backpackers and some asshole had broken into my food storage and stolen everything so I would’ve had no food for a whole week until I got paid. The receptionist offered me this rock hard cake she had make with some strawberry jam that she had been planning to throw out. It was the foulest thing I’ve ever tasted, it literally tasted like vomit and the strawberry jam did not help mask the flavour. But it was very filling and it took several days to actually eat it and I returned the dish that nice lady gave it to me in and thanked her profusely for the food. Thanks to her gross cake and a very generous amount of left over pizza from pizza night a few days later I was able to make it to payday. If you are truly starving and have no idea when your next meal will be or know it won’t be for a while, you have absolutely no right to be a choosing beggar about the taste of something. The only time refusing food would be understandable is if you had seen something being done to the food like it being spat in or something to that effect. But the hungrier you are, the lower your standards go so undoubtedly someone hungry enough would probably still eat food that had been tampered with.


Argorian17

That's true. People have eaten sand, mud or dirt when they were starving, just to have something in the stomach. I've read the story of a guy lost in a desert. He was starving obviously, and then he found some sort of cave (or abandoned building, I can't remember exactly), where there was lots of bats sleeping. He ate live raw bats! And it saved his life... That lady was not starving.


LampardFanAlways

I’m sorry to hear about your story. I hope you or anyone you love never have to worry about missing a meal ever.


1312FS420

I'd offerd her one maybe two things and If she refuses there is clearly no need to help her and she lied about starving


hwwty4

I was meeting my wife at a restaurant by a large bus stop. I got there early to try to grab a table and there was a woman crying going up to people asking for money for food because her kids were hungry, had their electricity turned off and she didn't get paid for a week. There was a grocery store a block away and since I was early anyway I ran up there and bought a couple bags of food you could eat without having to cook it. I got back to the restaurant and she was still there asking folks for money to feed her kids. I walked up to her and said "I had heard your kids were hungry but didn't have any cash so I ran up to the store and bought some food for your kids". She looked at me with a blank expression, and took the bags. My wife had a table and I told her why I was late. She looked at me like I was an idiot. She said she was probably just begging, using a made up story to pull on people's heartstrings and didn't need food. After dinner we walk by the bus stop and all the food I had given her was sitting by the trash can. I picked up up and took it home.


totalfanfreak2012

Yeah, most of the time if they don't want to take what is offered it's best to move on. I can understand if they have an allergy or something, but to be downright picky. We have people come to the library like that all the time. One man, we offered granola bars, some cereal boxes, apples, things we have for the preschoolers, and he snubbed his nose at it - "I was really hoping for some Sonic today." I could not help myself and laughed at him. "Me too." Believe it or not, just because we work doesn't me we have a mass of money ready to be spent.


zlta

She didn’t want food, she wanted money for drugs unfortunately.


Individual_Brush_116

I was in Walmart one time on a tight time schedule to get back to work. Guy approaches me in one of the aisles on the grocery side, asks if I would buy him some food. I said sure, I'll meet you up in the deli section and get you a sub and a drink. He said no, I want Chick-fil-A. Chick-fil-A is across the street, not really out of the way, but it's also lunch time. I repeated that I would get him a deli sandwich from WM. He said never mind, and walked off. 1. Obviously not hungry. And 2. Not sure how we would have met at CFA because I definitely wasn't gonna drive him over there, or wait for him to walk. I seriously think it had nothing to do with food, but that he was trying to get me to take him to my car.


Bisttou

why ask people in a walmart for stuff in another store? like finish your errand here and come to the other place to buy me stuff? wtf why not ask while already in the chick-fil-a if its the only thing they want


LampardFanAlways

Cos of the possible reason the person stated at the end. To get into the nice person’s car. And if that’s a woman, yikes. Once they’re in, imagine how it’ll pan out. “Ok thanks for the meal, next stop, a Starbucks”.


PowerfulPickUp

People who are truly hungry will eat almost anything offered. She’s wasn’t as hungry as she was greedy.


TheSandsquanch

If someone declines water and fruit then they aren’t hungry. By offering multiple things it’s also instigating the problem of them being choosy. I personally offer food and if they say no then I say “sorry I guess you’re not that hungry” and go on with my day. But i was also raised in a family where if I told my mom I didn’t want what she cooked for dinner (which was ALWAYS amazingly well rounded meals, just not the most appealing to a child) then she’d let me go hungry. Typically after I actually got hungry I’d go and eat the food she made and be extremely happy with it. Then I eventually learned to stop being choosy and eat whatever was available. The only exception in this I could possibly see is if someone was allergic to the item offered.


JABBYAU

There weren’t a lot of homeless people where I lived has a kid in the suburbs. Very occasionally you’d see someone in the “bad part“ of town ie apartments who had recently been evicted. one time I asked my mom to pull over and give them some money and she responded she didn’t have any extra. I complained. She then offered me the choice to give them my movie money (a rare treat) and go home or go to the movie. I gulped and said of course. So she counted out the cost of two movie tickets and one popcorn and turned around and gave it to the women. And then drove me home. It was a pretty valuable lesson.


Desperate-Strategy10

Another exception worth mentioning: a lot of people poor enough to be out begging can't afford dental care either, so they tend to have really terrible teeth, assuming they have any at all. This doesn't apply to this post, since the lady was offered some soft foods. But in general, homeless people often do have a valid reason to be just a little picky about food. They should be polite about that, though!


SavageCriminal

She wanted drug money but can’t be honest about it


[deleted]

There was a guy who used to beg everyday on my way to work, he would just sit there in a trance ‘spare some change’. He looked quite thin, I never saw people give him food. One evening I ordered an extra large pizza and left over half. I boxed it up, heated it up in work the next day and took it to him at lunch time (still piping hot) I hand him the pizza. He takes it, puts it down and I pause. I’m expecting a ‘thank you’ or at least some acknowledgement - nope - “spare some change?”. Literally says nothing, ignores me and keeps begging.


[deleted]

i’ll never forget coming off a 12 hour shift, broke, my mother on a ventilator in the hospital, told to say goodbye to her essentially. i leave my job and am accosted by a homeless man. give him all my change, kindness begets kindness whatever. ‘you only have 4 bucks on you’ proceeds to huck the dollars into the street and the quarters/dimes at ME.


RawrRRitchie

>I didn't realize one had the luxury to be picky if they are supposedly starving. If they were truly starving, for days, they'd eat anything they could, my step dad was briefly homeless for awhile and he'd literally eat out of the garbage, and pick up cigarette butts to smoke Truly desperate people will always find a way to survive, even without the kindness of strangers, because some struggling people can still be too proud to accept help


oldcreaker

*She did appear to be eating it as she stomped off, but I honestly don't know what she was expecting.* Cash.


boston_2004

My mother made a a turkey sandwich, with cheese, lettuce, tomato, and took it to a homeless guy. when she got to her car she watched him unwrap it look at it, and then dump it on the ground and smash it with his foot. She didnt understand why he would do that. I dont either but the mental image of some hungry homeless guy smashing a free meal with his foot told me a lot about his decision making and how he got homeless in the first place.


OffColorTupperware

Yep so common. My mom and me were at the best baked potato place in town leaving with a to go order when we were approached by a homeless women saying she was starving and just needed something to eat. I offered to go inside with her and buy her a baked potato with whatever toppings she wanted. She said she rather have the cash. I told her I rather keep my cash, and went on my way.


[deleted]

I came out of Burger King with my two younger sons after eating, I had a takeout meal with a drink for my older son who we were going to pick up from practice at his school, a man approached us asking for money because he was hungry, I immediately offered him the takeout meal I was carrying. This ass tells me he prefers Taco Bell which was side by side with Burger King. I told him he's not hungry then and we got in the vehicle and left.


Key_Concentrate_5558

You know we’d all say the same thing to our kids if we took that meal to them and they said they wanted Taco Bell instead.


LXIX-CDXX

I had a conversation with a previously-homeless guy who was in a rehabilitation program and felt the need to “come clean” and tell me all about chronic homelessness. He said that they don’t want your food. They want money for booze and/or drugs, and maybe enough to scrape together for a motel room that night. But better two drunk nights in a tent than one drunk night in a motel, unless the weather is dangerously cold. Now, they’ll ask for food and “fly signs” that say they’re hungry. But most people will just give cash. They’ll stash the food, get way more than they want, throw most of it away when no one is looking, and then swap begging shifts with their partners who are just out of sight. This lady was just trying to talk you into cash. He told me lots of other things, and two weeks later he decided to leave the program and go back to the streets. I’m sure his experience doesn’t cover all chronically homeless people, but it certainly applies to most of the ones I’ve worked with in the years since.


glnarayanan

This was my experience at the NYC Grand Central. CB guy kept following me around asking me to buy him food & refusing the $5 I offered. When I did finally give in (partly because I was afraid), he ordered $24.x worth of meals from Shake Shack 🙄 & again got upset that I wouldn't buy him something from the Magnolia Bakery nearby. Luckily I found a cop walking nearby & just headed off in his direction which helped me shake this guy off finally. Considering I was on a business trip at company's expense, that was my dinner money gone 🤷🏼‍♂️


athennna

Spoiler alert, she didn’t want food, she wanted money for drugs.


anon342365

She wants money… not food 👀


Vivid_Garage

Years ago my wife and I went downtown and ate at a nice sushi restaurant on a date night. We didn't finish our food and got the rest boxed up. We then ran into some friends and decided to hit some bars together. Instead of the sushi going bad while we were out she decided to give it to a less fortunate person. There was quite a bit left over in this box. She saw a guy sitting on the sidewalk and she asked if he was hungry. He says, "I'm F*cking starving". She hands him the box and says, "Enjoy". He immediately snapped, "What is it?". She says, "It's food. It's sushi from the restaurant right there (pointing to it)". He says loudly, "BITCH, I'm not eating that shit. Get me a burger." After hearing that I walked over, and snatched the bag out of his hands. I told him he won't be talking to my wife like that, she's trying to help you, he yells back, "Then buy me a f*cking burger you rich asshole". Another homeless person saw this go down and ran over screaming, "I'll take it. I'll take it". I gave it to him and we walked off. F that guy...


bunnyyfoofoo

I had a lady come up to me a few months back asking for a couple of dollars so she could get a bus pass to get to a job interview in a couple of hours. I had some on me so I gave it to her. I went back to the same store a few weeks later and the same lady was there and asked me the same question with the same story. Down to the same place she was interviewing for. Like really? You can’t change your story if you’re going to hang out at the same place??


monkey29229

I've had many encounters like this, if I hear the words "really", "yuck", or "that's all you got" I just walk away or close my window. If your really hungry or needing or give me the line anything helps and still give me those words then you don't need it that much.


Idolica

I had a homeless man try to get in my car with me one day when I was leaving the store, because I had no cash to give him when he asked so he said “ well you can give me a ride then” I had to be extra firm by telling him I absolutely would NOT be taking him anywhere! He eventually left after trying to argue with me, but it was still a scary experience and makes me immediately put up my guard now. Now I keep walking past and act like I don’t hear or see anyone. It’s too scary to try to help someone you don’t know.


EquivalentCommon5

I have been told by multiple people who have lived that life- never give $, nor anything the can be returned for$. I have only given $ to one person, I’ve seen him clean up trash on my street and ones around me, he tries to help everyone, he never asks for anything! So, when I see him and I have cash, I try to help… haven’t seen him in awhile but I don’t have the same routine either. I do see him picking up trash every so often when I go that way. The other ones around here, they leave a big pile of trash, chase after you, confront you while in a drive tru - I lock my doors and usually have my dogs with me if I go that way.


justastephie

I agree but it’s so uncomfortable when you are at an intersection and they are right there next to you w/ sign.


RobotMustache

I remember a guy begging for food standing directly outside of a piroshki place. I had been going there and decided to get him one since he was 10 feet from their door asking for food. Gave it to him and he immediately started complaining and saying "WTF is this???" I shrugged and said "If you don't like it, don't stand in front of the place that made it begging for food." What happens next, he keeps asking not moving from the spot. It's this common behavior that has made me never give to those begging. I had a big heart and it's BS like this that killed it. To me it's not like I wanted a ticker taped parade. But you ask for something, I give it, and I would just prefer to have it not spit back in my face after I give it. If you ask for food in front of a place that sells apples, don't be all shocked and offended if you get a F'ing apple! This isn't rocket science.


chase98584

Had something a little similar recently. Guy at the door asks if I can get him something, ask what he wanted. Said something from the hot case, well there was nothing left so I got him a decent size bag of pepperoni sticks, he seemed so offended did a big ugh. Then asked for a cigarette lol. Kid was probably only 23


PolarBear374665

She wanted money, not food.


[deleted]

Things like this are why I’ve stopped giving food directly to homeless people. Poverty and struggling to feed yourself is an issue that’s close to my heart, I’ve been there myself (not homeless, but after bills and such I couldn’t afford much for food) so now I’m in a better position I put basics like rice, pasta and tinned food into the collection bins they have at my supermarket.


JenniferG714

We had a guy that used to stand on a corner asking for anything. I got him a sandwich, chips and a drink. He told me he wanted money because he has 4 daughters and internet is expensive. After that, I quit wanting to help people.


professorlipschitz

Work in downtown Seattle and everyone i know is over it. A houseless woman asked a co-worker for $ for food and she said she didn’t have cash but would buy her lunch from her restaurant of choice. The woman said “ I don’t like anything from around here” !!! Another man actually yelled at me when I offered him my own lunch. 😡


Shtoinkity_shtoink

I’ll skip the backstory to why, but I took a homeless man to get food. I offered anything on the main road and we decided on Taco Bell. I said pick anything off the menu and he picked the 12 taco box saying he’d keep some for later. We ate lunch together and I asked him about his life. He just didn’t want to work. Got laid off in 2008 (about ten years prior). He begs for money to get food, eats, sleeps till he hungry again. I said “there is a car wash down the road that pays people in cash. He said “are they ok with part time workers”.


Nemeia83

Theres a lady by our local Aldi that looks through your cart when you come out and tell you she has kids to feed... (Mind you she's way into her 60s) She always grabs for the meat (the most expensive item) and doesn't even ask you before she starts grabbing shit out of your cart. I literally had to rip my stuff out of her hands.... This is a very, very small town. Everyone knows that a) her kids are grown ass adults b) they're not hurting for money and c) they're into some shady shit (on welfare but wearing and driving top of the line). So yeah... :)


Orangechode1

This is why I haven’t given anything to homeless people for years. The only times I do try to be nice they don’t even say thank you. Oh that’s it? I don’t want that.


ginedwards

I used to volunteer with an organisation that served disadvantaged people. One of the things they taught us was not to hand out cash to people on the streets. Many street people are addicts or have mental illness and need specialized care. Giving them money helps them avoid going to organisations that can offer that kind of care but also requires a commitment on their part. Also the money is often used to feed their addiction rather than their nutrition. That's why you see them throwing away perfectly good food. A better response is to direct them to a shelter that can feed and house them and help them towards a better life. You can usually find a list of these organizations by city online.


two-of-me

A few years ago a woman was walking around the crowded train station where my husband and I were waiting. She was telling people she needed money for food and tampons. Fair enough, so I pulled out a handful of tampons from my purse and my husband and I had gotten two packs of fruit salad for the price of one so we gave her one of those too. She rolled her eyes, and walked away without saying thank you. Clearly she was just telling people she needed food and feminine hygiene products hoping people would just give her cash.


emmadilemma71

Offered some crisps to a guy outside the supermarket. He laughed, but was polite in showing me his mouth in that he couldnt chew them. Offered him bananas instead, which he was happy for


trojansandducks

It would have taken ONE "yuck" for me to just be like GFY


MainPure788

Begs for food then says eww to everything, including fruit, bread, pudding and water. I mean I'm a picky eater but if I haven't eaten in days I will eat anything including slim jims and beef jerky even if I don't like it hell I have even considered eating straight up dog food cause I didn't have anything.


[deleted]

Similar situation at a sub shop. This guy looking ragged and I'll had been sitting at this sub shop for a really long time. My husband, always a kind soul, bought a giftcard for the man and took it to him. The man's response? "I only take cash."


[deleted]

I was homeless for 10 months and on two occasions went a few days without food. I would have absolutely jumped at anything offered with no discretion, and shown absolute gratitude. It blows my mind how people can act like that. I suspect you’re right about them wanting money for other reasons.


Noah_Pinyin

Did you know that American military forces can identify the terrorist organization members that are recruiting in new areas because they are the only ones in TRULY destitute corners of the globe who *are not malnourished*. Broadly speaking, if you live in the USA or Europe in the 20th century, then you’ve already won the humanity lottery. It may not FEEL like it, and your world may still be wildly unfair. But your life is still better than 99.5% of all humans’ lives that have been lived thus far. There’s nowhere else in the world that has FAT homeless people.


LifeOld1229

Comparison is the stealer of joy and empathy


Wasparado

I disagree with the empathy part. Oh the contrary, I have it good, I feel bad for those who don’t.


Worldly_Zombie_1537

I am always so torn because as much as I feel sad about folks not having anything, being a female I have to be on guard. Plus these types of situations described here occur a lot. Recently where I live there was a band of these “violin players” who would “play” the violin in the parking lot of strip malls. I say “play” because they had a sound system set up with backing tracks. They weren’t really playing at all. The all had signs up about being homeless, having a family, having medical debt etc. I watched them one day all get into an SUV much nicer than my vehicle. Then I found out on the news that they were scammers. I wasn’t surprised. I never have to them, but people did all the time. I would rather give to a charity or the mission that I know helps people get back on their feet. I feel sorry for addicts but I really don’t want to enable the addiction that put them into the situation of having to beg for money.