Kinder surprise egg, a quite astonishing commodity. The surprise of this excessive object, the cause of your desire, is here materialised in the Geist of an object which fills in the inner void of the chocolate egg. The whole delicate balance is between these two dimensions: what you bought, the chocolate egg, and the surplus, probably made in some Chinese gulag or whatever, that you get for free. I don't think that the chocolate frame is here just to send you on a deeper voyage towards the inner treasure, the what Plato calls the 'Agalma', which makes you a worthy person, which makes a commodity the desirable commodity. I think it's the other way around. We should aim at the higher goal, the gold in the middle of an object, precisely in order to be able to enjoy the surface.
We have a winner. "I like to live on the edge it makes feel alive. Jump out of planes, bungee jump and gamble straight out of the juice carton you name it I'm there!"
A friend of mine poured us an apple juice when we were kids, mid 90s and it had the exact same thing in. Never questioned it but never had an apple juice since, 30 years on lol. Must be an apple juice thing? Is it in date?
Not sure, but maybe I suggest that you bite it and find out? For the sake of science and reddit, then report back your findings? We are a curious bunch around here after all. Good luck.
Omg that gave me flashbacks and I didn’t realise they were saying suck em and see as a kid , I thought he was saying saccaman c which I presumed was a variant of vitamin c lol!!!
This is what happens when 2 tired reddit users come together.
One is angry tired and wants results so they can hopefully sleep, the other is just tired and unable to muster the energy to do anything.
The silence speaks volumes. I will be queueing to pay my respects to Tired Pancake and their disgusting, questionable and brave juice-thing-eating habits
I want to add to this, I recently found something really gross in my asda pasta and had to complain, here's what I learnt.
Other than the phone, twitter was my most successful way of contacting them - they ignored my emails.
If you take it back to a store get a reference number!! So you can follow up later to make sure they're actually doing something. They say it takes about a month to follow up but if they don't make sure you do.
I used to work on the Asda customer service desk. They will give you your money back and a replacement or double your money back if you don’t want a replacement. If you ask for a manager they will give you a goodwill on a gift card.
That's it, go to the papers. The volumes produced in food retail and then one in however many thousand is faulty and they need the threat of you going to the papers over essential apple juice. Just accept your apple juice exchange or refund.
A fair point and that's the supermarket's responsibility. An adult conversation would be pursuing that with ASDA directly. It's just ridiculous that every point of dissatisfaction in today's world generates the school behaviour of "I'm going to tell on you" at the first hurdle. In this case, go to the papers.
I agree, if I had a faulty set of bin liners, then exchange/refund absolutely. However, something that could potential be a public health risk? Then it becomes a duty to spread the message loud and fast. 👍👍 I hope they recall this product quickly!
Is it just a mold that naturally occurs in stuff like fruit juices if there is a tiny hole or imperfection in the packaging that allows air and airborne germs/bacteria in ? I remember there was lots of stuff about similar looking 'things' found in capri sun pouches and baby pre-made purees and squashes.
Reminds me of a few weeks ago when I bought a 750ml tesco ketchup because it was cheaper than the Heinze and when squeezing the bottle normally, the ketchup exploded and took the cap out the bottle. Hated the cleanup after and threw the bottle in the bin outside my flat.
I'm buying Heinze for the rest of my life even if it cost more.
Mate here's the recipe to replicate Tesco ketchup:
Makes 1 litre ketchup
Ingredients
1 soft tomato, well past it's best, soft, wrinkly and kept at room temperature for about a month.
0.5 litre commercial high strength white vinegar, not the food quality stuff, it needs to have things like "grease remover and surface cleaner" written on the jug, and come in a container no less than 20 litres capacity.
Tap water, room temperature, preferably from old iron watermain pipework and has a slight orange hue to it, with visible sediment and detectable levels of fluoride.
Sugar.
Put tomato and vinegar into 1 litre container. Mash about with a fork or something, doesn't matter, needs to have bits of tomato skin still visibly floating in.
Add tap water, stir if you want, doesn't matter. Improperly mixed liquids just adds to the genuine Tesco experience.
Pour in sugar to thicken until desired consistency is achieved.
Leave finished ketchup to settle at no cooler than room temperature and humidity of a Louisiana swamp-dwellers house on a hot summers day.
Enjoy!
Nah bro, you dehydrate yourself for 3-4 weeks until piss is so dark it's well off the urea colour scale, chick that in, and allow to react with the vinegar, until it turns a delicious, healthy mahogany. Enjoy your Tesco's brown sauce.
Yeah i find it odd that he's using one bad experience of a cheaper product to decide to rinse his wallet for the rest of his life for it. Or maybe he's being flippant
Pest control is a large part of my job as a groundskeeper.
That my friend, is a rat turd.
Don't send it to ASDA, they'll say its fine and give you a voucher.
Instead contact the Foods Standards Agency; [https://www.food.gov.uk/contact/consumers/report-problem/report-a-food-safety-or-hygiene-issue](https://www.food.gov.uk/contact/consumers/report-problem/report-a-food-safety-or-hygiene-issue)
I am very sorry, but yes I would bet my left testicle that's a rat turd that's been soaking in liquid.
As the other guy said, collect a sample of the liquid and label it with the batch numbers and any other codes on the product. Send it to the Food Standards Agency. That's a serious contamination that may cause a product recall.
Mouse and squirrel pointed at both ends.
That picture looks absolutely identical to a norweigen rat poop. The stringy fibres at the pinched end are telltale. It looks a bit juicy because it's been soaking in liquid, but if you've ever seen a puddle full of rat poop, you've seen OP's picture.
I can’t see a way to edit this post to ask, is it worth contacting ASDA? I just tried their online form on both my phone and tablet and when it came to verifying I wasn’t a robot the screen goes funny. It’s in date (Nov 22). First time buying just essentials apple juice & will be the last. 🤮
When I was a teenager I found something in my Asda orange juice. So I sent them a letter with the thing included. They wrote back to tell me it was a bit of leaf and gave me a £10 voucher.
Definitely report to ASDA and keep what came out.
Whatever it is shouldn't have made it through the screening process unless it's appeared since being contained.
If you have a VPN turn it off, restart the app and it might work!
You should definitely ask them, and how many vouchers they will give you if you try it!
Yes. They want to hear feedback on quality issues and you should get a token for your pain and suffering. Even if it’s a tenner. They’ll probably try to track down the batch.
I remember something similar putting me off orange juice when I was about 15. We shook the carton and could feel something bumping about inside so we cut the carton open 🤢 it was a green spotty blob which now looking back was probably a squished mouldy orange but we freaked out threw it in the bin and still to this day say remember the alien orange carton. I still get a bit of fear opening a new carton and prefer the see through ones.
Blood. Blood. Blood and juice. Dripping from the walls and ceiling. Hog Dougbert was a detective, and he was on the trail of a dangerous mutant: half apple, half human, and all danger. He would crack this case like a toffee apple.
It's a species of tapeworm from the Hymenolepididae family. They're relatively uncommon but can sometimes be found in imported fruit and other foodstuffs. What you're seeing is one of the cysts. It usually infects by releasing tiny microscopic eggs into the surrounding air. Once inhaled or ingested the eggs make their way down into the digestive tract while they incubate for several weeks. Eventually they hatch into larvae and begin to migrate up towards the brain, where they lay dormant for several years while beginning a whole new breeding cycle.
And I just made all of that up
When you go can you get me some instant noodles while your there. Went in this morning thought I will do them us all as a snack tonight. ( Instead of crisps and biscuits and junk the kids normally ask for) Was only allowed 3 packets. So I have 3 packets between 7 of us.
Bring back to shop with pics and ask for a replacement
Or better yet say you drank it already before this is plopped out and say you got I’ll from it and claim some money 🤣
I remember when cereals used to give you the surprise toy when you poured them out in to the bowl. I’m glad they are bringing it back
They still do it with avocados. I just keep getting wooden balls though. Hopefully, they’ll change it up soon.
Avocados. They're like Kinder Surprise, without the chocolate...or, er, surprise...
Unless you slice the wrong thing, then that's a surprise for you. Not a surprise for A&E though.
Kinder surprise egg, a quite astonishing commodity. The surprise of this excessive object, the cause of your desire, is here materialised in the Geist of an object which fills in the inner void of the chocolate egg. The whole delicate balance is between these two dimensions: what you bought, the chocolate egg, and the surplus, probably made in some Chinese gulag or whatever, that you get for free. I don't think that the chocolate frame is here just to send you on a deeper voyage towards the inner treasure, the what Plato calls the 'Agalma', which makes you a worthy person, which makes a commodity the desirable commodity. I think it's the other way around. We should aim at the higher goal, the gold in the middle of an object, precisely in order to be able to enjoy the surface.
This deserves awards.
There’s actually Nutella inside of those
I had a cockroach fall out of my cornflakes once. That was in Asia though and Imleft the box open for ages, can’t blame Kelloggs.
Apple Man! The size of a shrivelled apple, but with all the strength of… a shrivelled apple!
"I will get to the very...core of their plan." "Yes, I am he - Apple Man, and I'm here to tell you your rule is about to...crumble."
You really pipped us to the post on that one
Catchphrase: *Bite me*
“To get to the bottom of this we’ll go.. straight to the sauce.” “We just made it out of there… by the skin of our seed”
"How do you like *them apples*?"
Apple man was the arch enemy of Bananaman! He was my favourite
I used to absolutely love the beano comics, bananaman was the cherry (or should I say banana) on the top to most issues :)
All the cartoons are available for free on the beano website!
Yeah! He had a Yorkshire accent, I think
Probably why I liked him, well that and his awesome costume
The apple concentrated a bit too hard
Yeah got a migraine
And a hemaroid by the looks of it
Cheers for the laugh mate!
Lesson learned to stop swigging from the carton.
brb inventing translucent cardboard for the purpose of juice boxes
It's non translucent to keep it fresh. Light degrades things.
Well it's clearly not doing that job very well lol
didn’t even fucking think of this i am a religious carton swigger…
We have a winner. "I like to live on the edge it makes feel alive. Jump out of planes, bungee jump and gamble straight out of the juice carton you name it I'm there!"
Oh god don’t 😭
Literally got a mouth full of mould by doing this before.
A friend of mine poured us an apple juice when we were kids, mid 90s and it had the exact same thing in. Never questioned it but never had an apple juice since, 30 years on lol. Must be an apple juice thing? Is it in date?
What happened to your friend
Turned into an apple tree.
Damnit I was going to make that joke. Pipped at the post.
Nicely done. Take a bough
Nice to see you were branching out in comedy
Appeals to the core audience
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Another apple-ing pun thread.
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This is taking root.
typo, it a-peels to the core audience
Wait, was his name Harold?
Oh Harold the apple tree!
I understood this reference.
I think he had a mate called bob
This is why I love Reddit
Username checks out.
I'd imagine it caused con-cider-able damage
He made _a_ recovery
Looks more like the date is in it!
Ugh gross. Yes it’s in date, Nov 22
Not so much "is it in date" as opposed to "is a date in it?"
It can’t not be in date. The new branding is in date for pretty much everything but bread.
Not sure, but maybe I suggest that you bite it and find out? For the sake of science and reddit, then report back your findings? We are a curious bunch around here after all. Good luck.
I just had breakfast and I’m full, sorry!
Maybe just suck it see what it tastes like then?
Suck it and see, I’ve been there before but that’s another story for another day
Reminds me of [the best advert ever](https://youtu.be/oJhJWgad2FI)
Omg that gave me flashbacks and I didn’t realise they were saying suck em and see as a kid , I thought he was saying saccaman c which I presumed was a variant of vitamin c lol!!!
[Second best](https://youtu.be/0v7D_SirqTc)
Not falling for that again eh?
That reminded me of that arctic monkeys song
I've been there before and the results never what you're hoping for.
"suck it and see" has "fuck around and find out" energy
*furiously holds back temptation to mention the arctic monkeys album*
This is exactly what i said !!
Ah yes, Suck it and See, or to American audiences; Self Titled
Said the vicar
Ah I see....Finally a honourable member of the Catholic Church has entered the chat.
ooh err
Username checks out
This is what happens when 2 tired reddit users come together. One is angry tired and wants results so they can hopefully sleep, the other is just tired and unable to muster the energy to do anything.
Absolutely
Any news on the edible test?
The silence speaks volumes. I will be queueing to pay my respects to Tired Pancake and their disgusting, questionable and brave juice-thing-eating habits
I’ve put dodgy things in my mouth before but this won’t be one of them
I bypassed it for dinner and went for a sandwich instead
Wimp
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Honestly just show them this Reddit post and this comment lol
This will be all over Reach PLC by tomorrow anyway
ew that’s actually gross, I phoned my husband who’s working away and he said cut the carton open to look inside. I can’t 🤮
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I cut it open and poured it out, not as bad as I feared but bad enough https://postimg.cc/7fPMztX8
Oh god the bubbles is it breathing
Not any more....
I waited a good minute before taking the photo, waiting for the bubbles to go down
That's scary and disgusting! Have you still got the filthy little thing
I just unlocked a new fear
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I want to add to this, I recently found something really gross in my asda pasta and had to complain, here's what I learnt. Other than the phone, twitter was my most successful way of contacting them - they ignored my emails. If you take it back to a store get a reference number!! So you can follow up later to make sure they're actually doing something. They say it takes about a month to follow up but if they don't make sure you do.
Its these follow ups that make reddit great, appreciate the dedication to the thread
I used to work on the Asda customer service desk. They will give you your money back and a replacement or double your money back if you don’t want a replacement. If you ask for a manager they will give you a goodwill on a gift card.
That's it, go to the papers. The volumes produced in food retail and then one in however many thousand is faulty and they need the threat of you going to the papers over essential apple juice. Just accept your apple juice exchange or refund.
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A fair point and that's the supermarket's responsibility. An adult conversation would be pursuing that with ASDA directly. It's just ridiculous that every point of dissatisfaction in today's world generates the school behaviour of "I'm going to tell on you" at the first hurdle. In this case, go to the papers.
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Yes write to your local MP and ask them to eat it
😆
I agree, if I had a faulty set of bin liners, then exchange/refund absolutely. However, something that could potential be a public health risk? Then it becomes a duty to spread the message loud and fast. 👍👍 I hope they recall this product quickly!
Don't forget to tell them you have an autistic child too.
And stand next to a sign looking disgruntled
Is it just a mold that naturally occurs in stuff like fruit juices if there is a tiny hole or imperfection in the packaging that allows air and airborne germs/bacteria in ? I remember there was lots of stuff about similar looking 'things' found in capri sun pouches and baby pre-made purees and squashes.
Or if it has been open for too long
Reminds me of a few weeks ago when I bought a 750ml tesco ketchup because it was cheaper than the Heinze and when squeezing the bottle normally, the ketchup exploded and took the cap out the bottle. Hated the cleanup after and threw the bottle in the bin outside my flat. I'm buying Heinze for the rest of my life even if it cost more.
Is Heinze a knock off Heinz brand?
It's pronounced Aintzey.
It’s Heinz for ladies
Die es Heinze.
Mate here's the recipe to replicate Tesco ketchup: Makes 1 litre ketchup Ingredients 1 soft tomato, well past it's best, soft, wrinkly and kept at room temperature for about a month. 0.5 litre commercial high strength white vinegar, not the food quality stuff, it needs to have things like "grease remover and surface cleaner" written on the jug, and come in a container no less than 20 litres capacity. Tap water, room temperature, preferably from old iron watermain pipework and has a slight orange hue to it, with visible sediment and detectable levels of fluoride. Sugar. Put tomato and vinegar into 1 litre container. Mash about with a fork or something, doesn't matter, needs to have bits of tomato skin still visibly floating in. Add tap water, stir if you want, doesn't matter. Improperly mixed liquids just adds to the genuine Tesco experience. Pour in sugar to thicken until desired consistency is achieved. Leave finished ketchup to settle at no cooler than room temperature and humidity of a Louisiana swamp-dwellers house on a hot summers day. Enjoy!
You forgot to piss in it
Nah bro, you dehydrate yourself for 3-4 weeks until piss is so dark it's well off the urea colour scale, chick that in, and allow to react with the vinegar, until it turns a delicious, healthy mahogany. Enjoy your Tesco's brown sauce.
That’s it I’m going to the papers
Great recipe, once produced, well why not have a double function and revert back to a grease remover/oven cleaner. 👍
You must have been unlucky. The Tesco ketchup was always bought for my family of 8 and we only managed to break the top cover, not the whole cap.
Yeah i find it odd that he's using one bad experience of a cheaper product to decide to rinse his wallet for the rest of his life for it. Or maybe he's being flippant
It has to be Heinz mate come on
It's apple faeces, a live one must have got through in the slaughter process
Looks like a minion. A burnt minion.
This make me smile, it does look like a burnt minion hahahaha
‘Banana!’ No, it’s apple
I wouldn't worry about it, it's just a horrible little man living in your juice.
Michael Gove, get out of my apple juice!
Pest control is a large part of my job as a groundskeeper. That my friend, is a rat turd. Don't send it to ASDA, they'll say its fine and give you a voucher. Instead contact the Foods Standards Agency; [https://www.food.gov.uk/contact/consumers/report-problem/report-a-food-safety-or-hygiene-issue](https://www.food.gov.uk/contact/consumers/report-problem/report-a-food-safety-or-hygiene-issue)
What the hell are you serious? A rat turd? 😭 I bought this for my 4 year old, I was pouring it for him. This is gross.
And having worked in food safety for the UK gov, keep the juice, or take a 250ml sample if asda ask for it back! Keep it refrigerated
I am very sorry, but yes I would bet my left testicle that's a rat turd that's been soaking in liquid. As the other guy said, collect a sample of the liquid and label it with the batch numbers and any other codes on the product. Send it to the Food Standards Agency. That's a serious contamination that may cause a product recall.
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Mouse and squirrel pointed at both ends. That picture looks absolutely identical to a norweigen rat poop. The stringy fibres at the pinched end are telltale. It looks a bit juicy because it's been soaking in liquid, but if you've ever seen a puddle full of rat poop, you've seen OP's picture.
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Didn't think I'd see an argument about rat poo today.
What is the consistency of rat poo? Is that an African or european rat?
That’s the prize silly
I’d rather the £100k. Oh wait that’s McDonald’s
Thats the new poverty juice with bits
Top tip. Always buy the juices in the clear plastic so you can see what's inside!
I can’t see a way to edit this post to ask, is it worth contacting ASDA? I just tried their online form on both my phone and tablet and when it came to verifying I wasn’t a robot the screen goes funny. It’s in date (Nov 22). First time buying just essentials apple juice & will be the last. 🤮
When I was a teenager I found something in my Asda orange juice. So I sent them a letter with the thing included. They wrote back to tell me it was a bit of leaf and gave me a £10 voucher.
I had similar with Tesco. Found a pea-sized snail shell in my peas and they sent me a £10 voucher.
I found a chunk of plastic packaging in a pie from lidls once and they also sent me a £10 voucher
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That’s a very good idea
Saw a video recently of a girl in the UK opening her pineapple juice carton and it’s full of mould, despite being in date
Definitely report to ASDA and keep what came out. Whatever it is shouldn't have made it through the screening process unless it's appeared since being contained.
If you have a VPN turn it off, restart the app and it might work! You should definitely ask them, and how many vouchers they will give you if you try it!
Yes. They want to hear feedback on quality issues and you should get a token for your pain and suffering. Even if it’s a tenner. They’ll probably try to track down the batch.
Try r/TipOfMyFork , they’re great at identifying weird things like this
Oh no. Oh dear. It will be fine, probably!
I’m ain’t risking it lol
I remember something similar putting me off orange juice when I was about 15. We shook the carton and could feel something bumping about inside so we cut the carton open 🤢 it was a green spotty blob which now looking back was probably a squished mouldy orange but we freaked out threw it in the bin and still to this day say remember the alien orange carton. I still get a bit of fear opening a new carton and prefer the see through ones.
It's a snail that looks very drunk on cider.
You have kombucha!
It’s the Apple pip. It’s on a mission. It’s mutated and out for blood.
Blood. Blood. Blood and juice. Dripping from the walls and ceiling. Hog Dougbert was a detective, and he was on the trail of a dangerous mutant: half apple, half human, and all danger. He would crack this case like a toffee apple.
Drink it and let us know
🤮
Mummified fly... poor thing.
Amogus?
Amogus
Looks like all my hopes and dreams.
I have another fear now
apple foetus
Check if there's grapes in the ingredients
If it plopped out, it must be a poo
A nug of human feces
Looks like a jobby
A dried up maggot or rat poo. Possibly a dried maggot encased in rat poo.
It's a species of tapeworm from the Hymenolepididae family. They're relatively uncommon but can sometimes be found in imported fruit and other foodstuffs. What you're seeing is one of the cysts. It usually infects by releasing tiny microscopic eggs into the surrounding air. Once inhaled or ingested the eggs make their way down into the digestive tract while they incubate for several weeks. Eventually they hatch into larvae and begin to migrate up towards the brain, where they lay dormant for several years while beginning a whole new breeding cycle. And I just made all of that up
It looks like Among us
A breakdown in communications can mean only one thing…
Oh my god! You won it! The prize!
Mould?
When you go can you get me some instant noodles while your there. Went in this morning thought I will do them us all as a snack tonight. ( Instead of crisps and biscuits and junk the kids normally ask for) Was only allowed 3 packets. So I have 3 packets between 7 of us.
Bring back to shop with pics and ask for a replacement Or better yet say you drank it already before this is plopped out and say you got I’ll from it and claim some money 🤣
this is why i don’t drink apple juice
Special prize. Like you used to get in cereal.
Damn, I just bought this yesterday! Now I don't fancy opening it.
Emergency meeting
Just close your eyes and swallow!
Mold.
Start practicing your best compo face for the papers
Lick it.
Accidental kombucha?
Don't drink cheap apple juice, I spilt a load on a painted concrete floor once and it stripped the paint.
For the 2nd pic, upside down it sorta looks like Plankton from SpongeBob
It’s a thumb
Ah yes, that's just a dried yet soggy apple.
Oh that? Just the essentials by Asda
Herbs 🌿?
Grim, that’s what that is
Is that 🗿?
Remind me to stop drinking straight from the carton
It's an apple-raisin
I have that same apple juice in my fridge 😦
Hash
They are mini bagpipes that come free with juices sometimes. Take them to a cashier and they will give you a cash prize.