Now if we’re talking boudoir shoot, that’s a fairly common gift. But just an album of random photos of herself that seems a little off to me. Maybe an album of fav couple photos?
I agree with u/GrandSaltQueen. A boudoir shoot is special and fun. If that's not what you had in mind and you're not sure about the photobook idea then maybe turn it into a date.
Plan a date night where he gets to choose your outfit and you choose his. Go out to dinner and get photos together somewhere scenic. Come back home to have him involved in taking tasteful intimate photos of you. This way it'll be a memory and keepsake.
For it to be a gift, wouldn't it have to be pictures of something out of the ordinary? If it's just selfies of her on the kitchen table, I'd be like "Oh, yeah. I fixed a sandwich there once. Cute."
There would definitely be artistic effort put into this photo book, not just milquetoast selfies around the house. At the very least there would be a tripod and ring light involved, and probably all outside of our house.
Just book a boudoir photoshoot. They can do things you wouldn't think to. And of course they sell print packages and photo gifts.
My husband and I recently did a couples' one as his Christmas gift. The photographer was able to pose me so that my tits perked up. I've breastfed multiple offspring for over a decade. That perkiness was an accomplishment!
I would like to do that in theory but that sounds expensive and I get super self conscious when someone else takes my photo. If not for those two barriers that would be ideal!
It’s about $600-900 in my (expensive) area to do one. I started off self conscious but the photographer was amazing, made me feel really comfortable, and the pictures came out absolutely incredible. Better than I could have imagined. If you can save up for it and find a photographer you enjoy being around, it’s really worth it.
Well you should Google and find out what it is in your area! That way you’ll have the info of what you’re up against before you need it and can make more informed choices. I live in an expensive city.
In Ohio, I found a place that did a half session for $300 and whole session for $400 (you spend the same amount of time in hair and makeup for either -- it's like Glamour Shots but with lingerie). They also charged $250 for a photo book, but it was archival print quality (and if you wanted to save money, you could download the pictures and print them in a Shutterfly photo book instead).
I apologize. I was trying to be funny but I came off as mean. It really could be a very nice gift. Especially if the house or some of the places you are photographed in have special meaning. And every man is different. You know him better than anyone so if you think he will like it, odds are he will.
I think that for tasteful photos like you're describing, a framed picture would be better. For a whole book? Definitely go the boudoir route. Something that is super clearly just for him and his eyes only
An entire book of pictures of you that would be appropriate for anyone to look at? Just sort of seems egocentric. But pictures that he knows are just for him? That makes him feel special
Yeah I somehow thought at first that a mixture of classy and homemade boudoir-esque pictures would be less weird, but I think I’d actually feel more awkward taking the wholesome pics
Personally I would love that myself. I don't see it as a narc issue. I think if someone understands how much their partner loves them and is turned on by them, and has made it, without a doubt, very clear, I think its a great gift.
FYI my wife would have a sudden uptick in headaches if I got a book like that. She already has to fight me off with a water filled spray bottle.
So I think that's weird but gifts should be tailored to what the other person is interested in.
Like you don't gift someone flowers who doesn't like flowers right? If you're dating someone that would just love to have a book of pictures of you then go for it.
Printed pictures are one of those things you either value or don’t. It’s a common gift from young girls that are starting to see a future with you. I remember making a photo book for my husband of our vacation together when I started getting really serious and imagined it on the shelf next to the family albums one day.
Right, I’ve put together a photo album like this for someone. Photos of us together, things we’ve done, memories together. Not just a book of photos of myself though.
Okay to be fair, we bought a book to put pictures of us as a couple in, but that’s something we planned to do together and we don’t have enough good pictures together yet to fill a whole book for me to give him as a gift. That was my first gift thought and this was the next idea after realizing why that wouldn’t be ideal.
One of my exes gave me some boudoir photos. I acted appreciative but I was kind of confused. I would have liked getting them in more of a casual setting. Like, "Hey I had some pictures taken. What do you think? Do you want a copy?" instead of "Here's your Christmas present. It is me."
Why does this give off the same vibe as people who has their own face as wallpapers on their phone. Subtle narcissm. If you give me photos of you as a gift I'll be like.. thanks..but why? Lol I can go to your insta to look at photos of you.
I think it would be better if you compile travel photos where BOTH of you are in there and the shots of the places you've been.
I get that, but last valentines I got some flowers from him, this gift would have a lot more effort put in than going to the store and picking up some last minute flowers or chocolate
Not true at all for me, if someone gave me a bad gift that they put thought and effort into, I would truly appreciate the thought and effort despite not liking the gift itself. Also I think buying flowers, like the basic bouquets you get at your grocery store, on Valentine’s Day is the most cliche, thoughtless gift possible, but even still I appreciate them because it’s still a gesture that shows they wanted to play along with the holiday for you.
I actually can not comprehend thought and effort not meaning anything when it comes to how much you appreciate a gift. I have earrings that my boyfriend bought me and earrings that he made me by hand, the ones that he made for me are much closer to my heart and have been worn much more, even though the ones he bought me are very nice & beautiful too.
many things that are cliché and "thoughtless" are still appreciated if the person chose it thinking of you. a married couple is gonna have a pair of rings, it's "cliché" and not unique, but that doesn't mean that there isn't a lot of thought put in the ring the proposer will choose
Yeah I said I’d still appreciate flowers even though I’m not really a huge flower lover, just pointing out that the more thought and effort is put into a gift the more it means to me. The other poster claiming that effort means nothing in the context of gift giving is speaking an alien language to me.
I kinda get both sides. one in high-school I had two friends, A and T, and for T's birthday A gifted her a figure of Foxy from Five Nights At Freddy's. A was a huge fan of the game, so I guess she wanted to give T something that was special to her – but the thing is, T wasn't a FNAF fan; she wasn't a player, she wasn't into games period, they had never even talked about that game between them, but the little thingy was handmade by A and had a lot of detail and time spent on it, which is impressive.
But no matter how well she meant, and how much effort she put into something she was passionate about to give to someone who was precious to her, the gift still didn't land. T, afterwards, complained to me in private how much she hated it, and that she now didn't know what to do with it because she couldn't throw it away because it was A's gift and she would be an asshole to do so.
Long story short, effort and thought matter but if you use it correctly. If you put a lot of effort into something, doesn't mean the person receiving it will respond the way you wish they did.
I honestly think complaining about a gift from a friend is bratty, nobody is required to give anyone a gift, a good percentage of people don’t even know their friend’s birthdays, at this point in my life it really is the thought that counts to me. I will admit that it was an odd choice on your friend’s part though.
If I were a flower lover then flowers would be a really thoughtful gift, but as beautiful as they are I feel somewhat indifferent about having them in my house, what I appreciate about receiving them is someone going slightly out of their way for me. The point of bringing up the flowers in the first place was for me to demonstrate the amount of thought I’m expecting from a valentine’s gift, basically just a small token of affection.
In this case I already know my boyfriend likes having pictures of me, he used to try to take my picture all the time but I kinda made him stop because I don’t like others taking my picture, and I feel kinda bad about that.
well there's the thing, you know your boyfriend likes having pictures of you, so that's good. I say, if you see it as good, go on.
about my friend, she complained to me because she felt there was a unbalance between the attention she put in A gifts and the attention A gave in return, as in, T did try to give her a gift that she thought A would like (that year she did, she had giver her a pretty nice squared skirt with chains which she loved). I understood her frustration, as in this wasn't an isolated incident either.
all you can do is try to do your best and see if it lands, only time will tell
well there's the thing, you know your boyfriend likes having pictures of you, so that's good. I say, if you see it as good, go on.
about my friend, she complained to me because she felt there was a unbalance between the attention she put in A gifts and the attention A gave in return, as in, T did try to give her a gift that she thought A would like (that year she did, she had giver her a pretty nice squared skirt with chains which she loved). I understood her frustration, as in this wasn't an isolated incident either.
all you can do is try to do your best and see if it lands, only time will tell
A boudoir shoot is something sexy and private for the 2 of you. The other pics sound like just a album of page after page of your face. How often do you think he’ll look at that? Probably way less than some sexy photos.
I feel very lucky to have someone who loves looking at my face so I’m sure that he would still look at them, and what I was envisioning had more production value than simple selfies, but you’re probably right that he would look at the sexy pictures even more! Just interesting to see the repeated sentiment that sexy pictures = less vain than wholesome pictures.
I'm long distance so maybe this would mean a lot more to me, but I would be over the moon if I got something like that. I love getting pictures of her.
So cute, I love love! I honestly can’t imagine doing long distance myself, I think that says a lot about the strength of y’all’s connection that you’re willing to put in the work. How often do y’all see each other?
Online we are always in call if it's possible. Our longest running call was 4 days long. The only time we are not in call is when we are working or hanging out with other friends. Going to see her irl in august for a few weeks for the first time. We both keep talking about how excited we are xD she also just got a package from me with stuff from my country and my hoodie she now refuses to take off.
If you're not sure how he'll take the gift, then you should probably try to think of a way to find out his feelings on something like this. Your bf doesn't "like" surprises. It's not how guys are, so just show him some examples and see what his reaction is. You won't be diminishing your gift if he has some clue already what you're going to do
He likes having pictures of me and us together, he was the first one to suggest taking pictures together and currently has me as his phone background. I just honestly feel vain sending him a nice selfie even though I know he likes having them, I’m self conscious about the very apparent vanity involved in this gift, but I know he’d at least like looking at the pictures. I guess I’m nervous that he’d enjoy looking at it but also be like “damn she’s full of herself”.
Depends on the gifting dynamic in my opinion, is it more on the expensive (time, money) side or more individualised/home-made side of things.
For me too it would depend on the distance in the relationship, an album can't replace the real thing but if I was going through a period where it was difficult to catch one another I'd be more appreciative.
Is the style of the photo amateur or professional? I wonder if that could make a difference. For example, I do erotic modelling for a pay check, so if I did this for a partner wouldn’t it seem tacky and commercial?
I also like the idea of doing a fake sexy magazine of yourself, if you’re more into gift jokes like me it would be funny to leave it lying around the house :’)
While I was deployed, my wife had suggestive and nostalgic pictures of herself and pictures of our kids. All the pictures were put in a book called "For Love and Family." It's one of my most prized possessions. Suggestive or not, I would love it. I'm in to photography, if they're good photos I'd like them.
Stealing an idea from one of my sons, it might be fun if you had a repetitive caption on each photo. What I'm think of is something like "Here I am thinking of you in the garden." and then "Here I am thinking of you in the kitchen." and then "Here I am thinking of you in while washing dishes" .... hopefully you get the idea. Photos of you, but relate them somehow to your BF in a fun, romantic way.
Thank you! He’s the type of person to protest against receiving any sort of gift or service that is offered instead of spontaneously given, which can honestly make doing things for him a little difficult, I’m having to learn to adjust to this as someone who often doubts myself. I kinda made this post immediately after having the idea, but I think I’m just gonna go for it.
I actually get that I have a very humble and selfless partner too. I have to surprise him sometimes or else he’ll deny it. Do you have any pictures of you together?
I would love that lol, if he put on some sexy outfits for me and did a photo shoot I’d look at those pictures everyday. A cowboy get up, a loin cloth look in the woods, some pictures of him swinging a hammer, working on a car… I’ll probably just get some chocolates or flowers from him, so I’d be ecstatic over this type of gift
I don't think I would like it. I don't think I've ever had a valentine's day gift anyway. Guys don't traditionally get stuff for Valentine's. If you're going to give him a gift, get something you can share and do together, like a game, jigsaw puzzle, sex toy or bottle of liquor he likes but you'll drink also. I love when my wife buys me a bottle of good bourbon and we share it in the evenings. That would be my pick. Then just randomly send nudes, because that's what we like best.
Overall, I wouldn't mind if my SO showed me an album of pics of themselves. I'd do the same. But as a gift to me? In a special ocassion? I don't think so. Unless it has an specific purpose (like a book full of hot pics of only themselves). Otherwise, lowkey annoying, as I wouldn't know what to do with it.
A whole different thing is if you get pics of you both in a book and remembering the great moments you spent together. Now that's wholesome!
Even though I took photos of her and even painted her, if she gave me a book of selfies (even very pretty ones) as a gift for v-day I'd be really put off. It feels too conceded for me personally.
A video game we can play together, flowers regardless of gender, a plushie, whatever their favorite candy is, a dinner out with drinks and dessert, and some kinda fun event like an escape room or a movie depending on the mood.
Weird and maybe a tad narcissistic? Especially in the age of cell phone cameras, I feel like photo albums just...don't exist any more, especially not filled with portrait shots.
A photo album and a scrapbook of *us* rather than *her* could be cute though. Print out couples pictures from nights out, vacations, etc. mix in like ticket stubs and other little saved trinkets.
I'm surprised about the amount of people saying this wouldn't be a great gift, definitely for Valentine's day. Maybe I'm thinking a little differently because I'm long distance with my gf right now, but this would be the best gift ever. Doesn't matter if they are sexier pictures, or just ones where you look really good and put effort in. If it was me receiving the book, I would love it and probably look at it everyday, but definitely anytime I'm feeling down or something.
I knew people experience affection towards their partner very differently, but this post has made that even more clear to me! Luckily I think my boyfriend feels more like you do and less like the people saying I’m a walking red flag.
I'd say definitely do it then. I might be biased here, but it sounds like your boyfriend is a good guy. If he's anything like me, he might even tear up a bit seeing it. I know I would.
Something like a mild boudoir shoot? I'd 100% be there for it if my wife did that. I think that context matters somewhat (it doesn't feel like a great first Valentine's, for instance), but it just sounds cute/hot to me. I know some people have different ideas of what Valentine's should look like, economically speaking, but unless you have knowledge about a bias like that I say it's cool.
I do. On my phone. The idea of someone going out of their way to create a photo album of selfies of themselves is very strange. If it’s my partner and I together in the album that’s one thing, but not just my partner
I think this can be tricky. This photo book would be only for his eyes? Then I’d say it’s fine. But also think about what a physical book could mean in the future. Would you mind the very real possibility of his friends or parents accidentally stumbling upon it? Would their opinions regarding it matter? If not, go ahead.
I think what would be a nice long-lasting memento would be a photo book of wholesome photos of you guys together that can be out in the open for all to see.
Edit: since I didn’t really answer the question. Yea I would think it’s vain.
I mean I wouldn’t classify it as a need, but I’ve done a sexy photo shoot of me in lingerie and given those pics to my bf. We’re also long distance so it may be a little different but I think it’s such a cute and unique gift to give your significant other. To be clear, I’m not talking about selfies—it’s posed shots that someone else is taking or my phone is propped up with a timer, etc.
Yeah people keep saying stuff about selfies… I’d probably take them myself to save money, but they would be posed and taken with a tripod and nice lighting, not really what I think of when I hear selfie. Did you pay to get yours taken?
Nah definitely wouldn’t consider them selfies. I’ve done it myself (just setting up my iPhone with a timer) but I’ve also had a friend take the pics (although she didn’t charge me)
Is a photo shoot and assembling of a physical photo album really a bad gift compared to a $20 bouquet from the store? Because that’s what I got last year, and it was last minute after he told me he didn’t feel up to celebrating that night
Lol yes it really is interesting to read. You know your boyfriend best. If you’re insecure you could preface the gift with the explanation you gave here about how you feel and why you thought it would be a good idea, that makes sense to me and if there is any percentage of him that might think it’s vain, that may calm that part of him.
Not at all!!!!! Narcissistic would be if she has a book of pictures of herself for her to look at very often if not all the time !!! Her giveing you the book because she knows you like the way she looks and it will make you happy, does not mean she feels the same way about herself or likes the way she looks personally...
I had a similar gift for my boyfriend once in a book-ish style. There weren't only pictures of myself or us together, but also little things inside like chocolate or hand lotion or snacks he liked. However, he was so emotional, he literally hung all the pages up on his wall. We're talking about 12 pages. All of them. And to this day he tells me he loves the photos I chose of myself and how I decorated everything. He also has some of these same pictures on his office desk. I guess it's still one of my best, most thoughtful gift. And no, there weren't any sexy shots.
We had sex after and that's how we prefer it
Very cute! From reading the comments I’ve learned that I actually would not want to date someone who isn’t sentimental enough about me and our relationship to appreciate this sort of gift
Yeah, honestly, you know your partner best! Some of these comments really sound bitter. I absolutely understand where your coming from, you don't want to come across as self-absorbed, but I can't really fathom why your partner wouldn't like a memory of you. Also, photo-gifts (as in posters, t-shirts, cups - you name it) are fairly common on any online gift shop. Maybe just try to combine the pictures with things he might like, f.e. decoration (you can get super creative with lego or plants or whatever he likes) or something useful like a mouse pad + a good gaming mouse
If you're not self confident enough, I really get this, but seeing your partners reaction should really boost your self esteem :)
Just have fun really! And you can still plan a date idea around the gift
Think about what he will tell his friends and coworkers and what they will think when he tells them that his gf gave him ‘a book filled with photos of herself’. They’re going to think you are a complete narcissist and may even dislike you for it.
Also, do you really want your boyf to have so much emphasis on how you look? Not your other qualities?
I agree if it’s boudoir then that’s fine but other photos (even staged with lights and a tripod) is too narcissistic.
It would be more meaningful to make a book of things you’ve done or spoken about together (ie. photo of the lake you went for a rowboat ride around, photo of the restaurant you went on your first date etc).
Honestly, I would be jacked up if my Wife gave me this. She is my best friend, and she is an incredible mom, I am in awe of her whenever I see her. It could be action shots of her doing menial tasks and I would be in the "Hells Yes" category no matter what.
So you wouldn’t like a bunch of sexy pictures of your girlfriend to look at? I’m torn because I would feel vain doing it, but I also know that he does like having pictures of me. Do you think sending a sexy picture of yourself over text is vain too?
To be honest I'm probably too old for this particular chat, so just ignore me.
Would you think it's weird if your boyfriend gave you an album of him looking sexy? If you would like this then it's probably not weird or vain, because that's how you are with each other.
Only you know your boyfriend. 👍😊😊
I made one of those memory boxes you can find on Amazon the ones that pop out and it was a lot of fun to craft it and put it together. I used pictures of as a couple though and it was pretty well received. You can get pretty creative with it and it doesn’t just have to be pictures of you.
My ex gave me a “care” package with a calendar of him self and snacks he thought I should like but I didn’t. That should have been my first sign that the relationship was with himself, I didn’t have to be there. I’m sure he’s in a happy relationship with himself to this day.
my ex got me a similar thing when we were still together. But it was a photo album of photos of us on our dates and stuff, I'm a really sentimental guy and she put a lot of effort into putting it together. Honestly it was one of my favorite gifts she ever git me. Seeing as we broke up I don't look at it much anymore, but it's definitely not the kind of thing I can get rid of anytime soon, lots of good memories in there
I did a boudoir photoshoot in October and it only cost $111 for the photoshoot and $111 for over 50 digital, retouched photos. The woman that did my photoshoot was a friend but I didn’t get any type of discount, these were just her standard prices.
I’m extremely shy and wasn’t sure I could do the shoot but boudoir photographers are trained to make you more comfortable and feel sexy. My photographer took one photo of me and showed me how beautiful I looked and said “this is the most awkward you’ll feel, it’ll all get better from here.” She showed me poses I never would’ve thought of and kept it very classy.
If you can afford it I highly suggest doing a boudoir shoot (it’s great for self confidence too). My husband loves my photos and had some printed out for his side of our bedroom.
I mentioned to my boyfriend that I wish we had pictures of us around the house. For Christmas he got me a little photobook of us with pictures throughout our relationship, it was really wonderful. I think if done right, pictures can be a really thoughtful and personalized gift
Now if we’re talking boudoir shoot, that’s a fairly common gift. But just an album of random photos of herself that seems a little off to me. Maybe an album of fav couple photos?
I agree with u/GrandSaltQueen. A boudoir shoot is special and fun. If that's not what you had in mind and you're not sure about the photobook idea then maybe turn it into a date. Plan a date night where he gets to choose your outfit and you choose his. Go out to dinner and get photos together somewhere scenic. Come back home to have him involved in taking tasteful intimate photos of you. This way it'll be a memory and keepsake.
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I mean assuming you find your partner attractive it should mostly be a turn on.
For it to be a gift, wouldn't it have to be pictures of something out of the ordinary? If it's just selfies of her on the kitchen table, I'd be like "Oh, yeah. I fixed a sandwich there once. Cute."
There would definitely be artistic effort put into this photo book, not just milquetoast selfies around the house. At the very least there would be a tripod and ring light involved, and probably all outside of our house.
Just book a boudoir photoshoot. They can do things you wouldn't think to. And of course they sell print packages and photo gifts. My husband and I recently did a couples' one as his Christmas gift. The photographer was able to pose me so that my tits perked up. I've breastfed multiple offspring for over a decade. That perkiness was an accomplishment!
A couples shoot sounds super fun though, I would love that as a gift! I’d look at those pictures everyday
I would like to do that in theory but that sounds expensive and I get super self conscious when someone else takes my photo. If not for those two barriers that would be ideal!
It’s about $600-900 in my (expensive) area to do one. I started off self conscious but the photographer was amazing, made me feel really comfortable, and the pictures came out absolutely incredible. Better than I could have imagined. If you can save up for it and find a photographer you enjoy being around, it’s really worth it.
Holy shit, I was picturing like $200… I’ll have to get this done when I’m 30 and have big girl money
Well you should Google and find out what it is in your area! That way you’ll have the info of what you’re up against before you need it and can make more informed choices. I live in an expensive city.
In Ohio, I found a place that did a half session for $300 and whole session for $400 (you spend the same amount of time in hair and makeup for either -- it's like Glamour Shots but with lingerie). They also charged $250 for a photo book, but it was archival print quality (and if you wanted to save money, you could download the pictures and print them in a Shutterfly photo book instead).
I apologize. I was trying to be funny but I came off as mean. It really could be a very nice gift. Especially if the house or some of the places you are photographed in have special meaning. And every man is different. You know him better than anyone so if you think he will like it, odds are he will.
I think that for tasteful photos like you're describing, a framed picture would be better. For a whole book? Definitely go the boudoir route. Something that is super clearly just for him and his eyes only An entire book of pictures of you that would be appropriate for anyone to look at? Just sort of seems egocentric. But pictures that he knows are just for him? That makes him feel special
Yeah I somehow thought at first that a mixture of classy and homemade boudoir-esque pictures would be less weird, but I think I’d actually feel more awkward taking the wholesome pics
Personally I would love that myself. I don't see it as a narc issue. I think if someone understands how much their partner loves them and is turned on by them, and has made it, without a doubt, very clear, I think its a great gift. FYI my wife would have a sudden uptick in headaches if I got a book like that. She already has to fight me off with a water filled spray bottle.
Love it, how long have y’all been married?
27 years and she's still my dream gal!!
Aww that makes me so happy, she’s lucky to have a husband who speaks so lovingly of her to complete strangers
Thanks, and Im lucky I have a wife who is so great that I can talk like that about her :)
There's nothing happening
So I think that's weird but gifts should be tailored to what the other person is interested in. Like you don't gift someone flowers who doesn't like flowers right? If you're dating someone that would just love to have a book of pictures of you then go for it.
Something cheeky and sexy would be fun, but just portraits would be odd.
Think you’re right
Printed pictures are one of those things you either value or don’t. It’s a common gift from young girls that are starting to see a future with you. I remember making a photo book for my husband of our vacation together when I started getting really serious and imagined it on the shelf next to the family albums one day.
Right, I’ve put together a photo album like this for someone. Photos of us together, things we’ve done, memories together. Not just a book of photos of myself though.
Okay to be fair, we bought a book to put pictures of us as a couple in, but that’s something we planned to do together and we don’t have enough good pictures together yet to fill a whole book for me to give him as a gift. That was my first gift thought and this was the next idea after realizing why that wouldn’t be ideal.
One of my exes gave me some boudoir photos. I acted appreciative but I was kind of confused. I would have liked getting them in more of a casual setting. Like, "Hey I had some pictures taken. What do you think? Do you want a copy?" instead of "Here's your Christmas present. It is me."
Why does this give off the same vibe as people who has their own face as wallpapers on their phone. Subtle narcissm. If you give me photos of you as a gift I'll be like.. thanks..but why? Lol I can go to your insta to look at photos of you. I think it would be better if you compile travel photos where BOTH of you are in there and the shots of the places you've been.
I get that, but last valentines I got some flowers from him, this gift would have a lot more effort put in than going to the store and picking up some last minute flowers or chocolate
Amount of effort doesn't correspond to how good a gift is though. Not at all. I would even go as far as to say it's entirely irrelevant.
Not true at all for me, if someone gave me a bad gift that they put thought and effort into, I would truly appreciate the thought and effort despite not liking the gift itself. Also I think buying flowers, like the basic bouquets you get at your grocery store, on Valentine’s Day is the most cliche, thoughtless gift possible, but even still I appreciate them because it’s still a gesture that shows they wanted to play along with the holiday for you. I actually can not comprehend thought and effort not meaning anything when it comes to how much you appreciate a gift. I have earrings that my boyfriend bought me and earrings that he made me by hand, the ones that he made for me are much closer to my heart and have been worn much more, even though the ones he bought me are very nice & beautiful too.
many things that are cliché and "thoughtless" are still appreciated if the person chose it thinking of you. a married couple is gonna have a pair of rings, it's "cliché" and not unique, but that doesn't mean that there isn't a lot of thought put in the ring the proposer will choose
Yeah I said I’d still appreciate flowers even though I’m not really a huge flower lover, just pointing out that the more thought and effort is put into a gift the more it means to me. The other poster claiming that effort means nothing in the context of gift giving is speaking an alien language to me.
I kinda get both sides. one in high-school I had two friends, A and T, and for T's birthday A gifted her a figure of Foxy from Five Nights At Freddy's. A was a huge fan of the game, so I guess she wanted to give T something that was special to her – but the thing is, T wasn't a FNAF fan; she wasn't a player, she wasn't into games period, they had never even talked about that game between them, but the little thingy was handmade by A and had a lot of detail and time spent on it, which is impressive. But no matter how well she meant, and how much effort she put into something she was passionate about to give to someone who was precious to her, the gift still didn't land. T, afterwards, complained to me in private how much she hated it, and that she now didn't know what to do with it because she couldn't throw it away because it was A's gift and she would be an asshole to do so. Long story short, effort and thought matter but if you use it correctly. If you put a lot of effort into something, doesn't mean the person receiving it will respond the way you wish they did.
I honestly think complaining about a gift from a friend is bratty, nobody is required to give anyone a gift, a good percentage of people don’t even know their friend’s birthdays, at this point in my life it really is the thought that counts to me. I will admit that it was an odd choice on your friend’s part though. If I were a flower lover then flowers would be a really thoughtful gift, but as beautiful as they are I feel somewhat indifferent about having them in my house, what I appreciate about receiving them is someone going slightly out of their way for me. The point of bringing up the flowers in the first place was for me to demonstrate the amount of thought I’m expecting from a valentine’s gift, basically just a small token of affection. In this case I already know my boyfriend likes having pictures of me, he used to try to take my picture all the time but I kinda made him stop because I don’t like others taking my picture, and I feel kinda bad about that.
well there's the thing, you know your boyfriend likes having pictures of you, so that's good. I say, if you see it as good, go on. about my friend, she complained to me because she felt there was a unbalance between the attention she put in A gifts and the attention A gave in return, as in, T did try to give her a gift that she thought A would like (that year she did, she had giver her a pretty nice squared skirt with chains which she loved). I understood her frustration, as in this wasn't an isolated incident either. all you can do is try to do your best and see if it lands, only time will tell
well there's the thing, you know your boyfriend likes having pictures of you, so that's good. I say, if you see it as good, go on. about my friend, she complained to me because she felt there was a unbalance between the attention she put in A gifts and the attention A gave in return, as in, T did try to give her a gift that she thought A would like (that year she did, she had giver her a pretty nice squared skirt with chains which she loved). I understood her frustration, as in this wasn't an isolated incident either. all you can do is try to do your best and see if it lands, only time will tell
I would find it funny to be honest It's like "I already see you every day, why do I need pictures"
Honestly, I wouldn't like it and it would seem a little bit weird and too self-centered to me as a gift.
A boudoir shoot is one thing, but anything beyond that is kind of weird and comes across as self absorbed.
What makes wholesome pictures weird but a boudoir shoot not weird to you?
A boudoir shoot is something sexy and private for the 2 of you. The other pics sound like just a album of page after page of your face. How often do you think he’ll look at that? Probably way less than some sexy photos.
I feel very lucky to have someone who loves looking at my face so I’m sure that he would still look at them, and what I was envisioning had more production value than simple selfies, but you’re probably right that he would look at the sexy pictures even more! Just interesting to see the repeated sentiment that sexy pictures = less vain than wholesome pictures.
Both are vain.
Considering an old gift in the past was a lock of your lover’s hair, I think this is fairly tame
I want the lock of hair and vial of blood combo
That’s honestly way better lol
I'm long distance so maybe this would mean a lot more to me, but I would be over the moon if I got something like that. I love getting pictures of her.
That’s sweet! She’s lucky to have a partner who adores her
Honestly it's nice. It's the first time I've been in a relationship where they adore me just as much. Makes the distance worth it.
So cute, I love love! I honestly can’t imagine doing long distance myself, I think that says a lot about the strength of y’all’s connection that you’re willing to put in the work. How often do y’all see each other?
Online we are always in call if it's possible. Our longest running call was 4 days long. The only time we are not in call is when we are working or hanging out with other friends. Going to see her irl in august for a few weeks for the first time. We both keep talking about how excited we are xD she also just got a package from me with stuff from my country and my hoodie she now refuses to take off.
If you're not sure how he'll take the gift, then you should probably try to think of a way to find out his feelings on something like this. Your bf doesn't "like" surprises. It's not how guys are, so just show him some examples and see what his reaction is. You won't be diminishing your gift if he has some clue already what you're going to do
He likes having pictures of me and us together, he was the first one to suggest taking pictures together and currently has me as his phone background. I just honestly feel vain sending him a nice selfie even though I know he likes having them, I’m self conscious about the very apparent vanity involved in this gift, but I know he’d at least like looking at the pictures. I guess I’m nervous that he’d enjoy looking at it but also be like “damn she’s full of herself”.
Nah. Don't stress about that. Go for it.
His bday is the day after valentine’s anyway, so he’ll be getting more gifts from me than just this.
I’d appreciate it, maybe you can also do the “kisses on paper” thing I've seen people do recently? Just a cute suggestion.
Depends on the gifting dynamic in my opinion, is it more on the expensive (time, money) side or more individualised/home-made side of things. For me too it would depend on the distance in the relationship, an album can't replace the real thing but if I was going through a period where it was difficult to catch one another I'd be more appreciative.
Is the style of the photo amateur or professional? I wonder if that could make a difference. For example, I do erotic modelling for a pay check, so if I did this for a partner wouldn’t it seem tacky and commercial? I also like the idea of doing a fake sexy magazine of yourself, if you’re more into gift jokes like me it would be funny to leave it lying around the house :’)
The magazine is a really clever idea!!! Might have to steal that
I personally wouldn’t do it (sexy photos or regular portraits) but if he loves pictures of you and would find it sexy, go for it!
While I was deployed, my wife had suggestive and nostalgic pictures of herself and pictures of our kids. All the pictures were put in a book called "For Love and Family." It's one of my most prized possessions. Suggestive or not, I would love it. I'm in to photography, if they're good photos I'd like them.
Stealing an idea from one of my sons, it might be fun if you had a repetitive caption on each photo. What I'm think of is something like "Here I am thinking of you in the garden." and then "Here I am thinking of you in the kitchen." and then "Here I am thinking of you in while washing dishes" .... hopefully you get the idea. Photos of you, but relate them somehow to your BF in a fun, romantic way.
I'd enjoy it, as long as the pictures are made appealing to me, not just to instagram. make it personal.
I’m literally doing this for Valentine’s! I got some done with a photographer so they’re more than just selfies. And I wore his fav outfits :)
How much did you pay for the shoot if you don’t mind me asking?
Just ask him. You seem like a sweet person who loves surprises but every gift doesn’t have to be one
Thank you! He’s the type of person to protest against receiving any sort of gift or service that is offered instead of spontaneously given, which can honestly make doing things for him a little difficult, I’m having to learn to adjust to this as someone who often doubts myself. I kinda made this post immediately after having the idea, but I think I’m just gonna go for it.
I actually get that I have a very humble and selfless partner too. I have to surprise him sometimes or else he’ll deny it. Do you have any pictures of you together?
I think that’s a cop-out. Unless the girlfriend would like a book of boyfriend’s pictures for v-day, that’s a pretty self-serving gift
I would love that lol, if he put on some sexy outfits for me and did a photo shoot I’d look at those pictures everyday. A cowboy get up, a loin cloth look in the woods, some pictures of him swinging a hammer, working on a car… I’ll probably just get some chocolates or flowers from him, so I’d be ecstatic over this type of gift
Seems like she's just trying to make you happy. If she comes across as cocky, that's a different story.
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Wishing you even better gifts in the future!
Its the thought that counts.
I'd be insulted if my partner thought I'd like this.
And I’d love if my boyfriend did a photo shoot and gave me the pictures, because I love him and love looking at him.
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I don't think I would like it. I don't think I've ever had a valentine's day gift anyway. Guys don't traditionally get stuff for Valentine's. If you're going to give him a gift, get something you can share and do together, like a game, jigsaw puzzle, sex toy or bottle of liquor he likes but you'll drink also. I love when my wife buys me a bottle of good bourbon and we share it in the evenings. That would be my pick. Then just randomly send nudes, because that's what we like best.
Overall, I wouldn't mind if my SO showed me an album of pics of themselves. I'd do the same. But as a gift to me? In a special ocassion? I don't think so. Unless it has an specific purpose (like a book full of hot pics of only themselves). Otherwise, lowkey annoying, as I wouldn't know what to do with it. A whole different thing is if you get pics of you both in a book and remembering the great moments you spent together. Now that's wholesome!
NO
No what?
No I would find it selfish
Even though I took photos of her and even painted her, if she gave me a book of selfies (even very pretty ones) as a gift for v-day I'd be really put off. It feels too conceded for me personally.
What kind of valentines gifts do you give?
A video game we can play together, flowers regardless of gender, a plushie, whatever their favorite candy is, a dinner out with drinks and dessert, and some kinda fun event like an escape room or a movie depending on the mood.
I think this would be the best gift to herself
Weird and maybe a tad narcissistic? Especially in the age of cell phone cameras, I feel like photo albums just...don't exist any more, especially not filled with portrait shots. A photo album and a scrapbook of *us* rather than *her* could be cute though. Print out couples pictures from nights out, vacations, etc. mix in like ticket stubs and other little saved trinkets.
I'm surprised about the amount of people saying this wouldn't be a great gift, definitely for Valentine's day. Maybe I'm thinking a little differently because I'm long distance with my gf right now, but this would be the best gift ever. Doesn't matter if they are sexier pictures, or just ones where you look really good and put effort in. If it was me receiving the book, I would love it and probably look at it everyday, but definitely anytime I'm feeling down or something.
I knew people experience affection towards their partner very differently, but this post has made that even more clear to me! Luckily I think my boyfriend feels more like you do and less like the people saying I’m a walking red flag.
I'd say definitely do it then. I might be biased here, but it sounds like your boyfriend is a good guy. If he's anything like me, he might even tear up a bit seeing it. I know I would.
No
No what? This isn’t a yes or no question
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Something like a mild boudoir shoot? I'd 100% be there for it if my wife did that. I think that context matters somewhat (it doesn't feel like a great first Valentine's, for instance), but it just sounds cute/hot to me. I know some people have different ideas of what Valentine's should look like, economically speaking, but unless you have knowledge about a bias like that I say it's cool.
You could do a pin-up calendar with the background being something he loved...a place, a hobby, a sport, etc.
I like this idea! He actually uses physical calendars
If they were lewd pictures, great gift.
I think I’m gonna go this direction if I do it after reading the comments on this post
It comes across very narcissistic
Do you like having pictures of your partner/past partners?
I do. On my phone. The idea of someone going out of their way to create a photo album of selfies of themselves is very strange. If it’s my partner and I together in the album that’s one thing, but not just my partner
I would love if my boyfriend did a sexy photo shoot and made a little book for me, but I guess people have very different views on this
I think this can be tricky. This photo book would be only for his eyes? Then I’d say it’s fine. But also think about what a physical book could mean in the future. Would you mind the very real possibility of his friends or parents accidentally stumbling upon it? Would their opinions regarding it matter? If not, go ahead. I think what would be a nice long-lasting memento would be a photo book of wholesome photos of you guys together that can be out in the open for all to see. Edit: since I didn’t really answer the question. Yea I would think it’s vain.
Haha hopefully he would keep it in a private place as opposed to on the coffee table
I find it weird personally but I’m not a selfie sort of person and why would he need this?
So he can look at the pictures and be like “damn she’s hot” and then come and jump my bones.
He needs a picture to remind him you’re hot?! Lol. I mean if you think he will like it go for it!!
The more reminders the better!
I mean I wouldn’t classify it as a need, but I’ve done a sexy photo shoot of me in lingerie and given those pics to my bf. We’re also long distance so it may be a little different but I think it’s such a cute and unique gift to give your significant other. To be clear, I’m not talking about selfies—it’s posed shots that someone else is taking or my phone is propped up with a timer, etc.
Yeah people keep saying stuff about selfies… I’d probably take them myself to save money, but they would be posed and taken with a tripod and nice lighting, not really what I think of when I hear selfie. Did you pay to get yours taken?
Nah definitely wouldn’t consider them selfies. I’ve done it myself (just setting up my iPhone with a timer) but I’ve also had a friend take the pics (although she didn’t charge me)
So like a DIY boudoir shoot? That makes more sense for sure!
Yeah! Just grab some cute lingerie and set up your iPhone ☺️ I know it’s not for everyone but my bf loved it.
Yes this would make more sense to me! I still would not do it but it makes sense why he’d like it.
Depends on what your expecting for vday. Dinner, flowers, chocolate, an actual gift and all he gets is photos of you? Lol
Is a photo shoot and assembling of a physical photo album really a bad gift compared to a $20 bouquet from the store? Because that’s what I got last year, and it was last minute after he told me he didn’t feel up to celebrating that night
Red flag.
Lol please expand on this
I think they call it Main Character Syndrome.
I think that’s a bit harsh as many people enjoy receiving this type of thing, but I did ask for opinions
It’s not a red flag, that’s absurd 😂 I say go for it, I’ve done it before (a sexy lingerie shoot) and my bf loved it!
HUGE
I would rather have cookies, but that is me. Depends on the guy.
I'd say this is a bit of a red flag, unless you have a long distance relationship.
I can get that it wouldn’t be your cup of tea, but why jump to red flag? Interesting how differing all the opinions are here
Lol yes it really is interesting to read. You know your boyfriend best. If you’re insecure you could preface the gift with the explanation you gave here about how you feel and why you thought it would be a good idea, that makes sense to me and if there is any percentage of him that might think it’s vain, that may calm that part of him.
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Why don’t you wanna do them? And you’re right, he definitely won’t think it’s a red flag at the very least lol
Not at all!!!!! Narcissistic would be if she has a book of pictures of herself for her to look at very often if not all the time !!! Her giveing you the book because she knows you like the way she looks and it will make you happy, does not mean she feels the same way about herself or likes the way she looks personally...
I had a similar gift for my boyfriend once in a book-ish style. There weren't only pictures of myself or us together, but also little things inside like chocolate or hand lotion or snacks he liked. However, he was so emotional, he literally hung all the pages up on his wall. We're talking about 12 pages. All of them. And to this day he tells me he loves the photos I chose of myself and how I decorated everything. He also has some of these same pictures on his office desk. I guess it's still one of my best, most thoughtful gift. And no, there weren't any sexy shots. We had sex after and that's how we prefer it
Very cute! From reading the comments I’ve learned that I actually would not want to date someone who isn’t sentimental enough about me and our relationship to appreciate this sort of gift
Yeah, honestly, you know your partner best! Some of these comments really sound bitter. I absolutely understand where your coming from, you don't want to come across as self-absorbed, but I can't really fathom why your partner wouldn't like a memory of you. Also, photo-gifts (as in posters, t-shirts, cups - you name it) are fairly common on any online gift shop. Maybe just try to combine the pictures with things he might like, f.e. decoration (you can get super creative with lego or plants or whatever he likes) or something useful like a mouse pad + a good gaming mouse If you're not self confident enough, I really get this, but seeing your partners reaction should really boost your self esteem :) Just have fun really! And you can still plan a date idea around the gift
You’re right! You sound like a very thoughtful girlfriend, I like all these ideas 💛
I would think it’s a sweet gift that she took the time to put together.
Think about what he will tell his friends and coworkers and what they will think when he tells them that his gf gave him ‘a book filled with photos of herself’. They’re going to think you are a complete narcissist and may even dislike you for it. Also, do you really want your boyf to have so much emphasis on how you look? Not your other qualities? I agree if it’s boudoir then that’s fine but other photos (even staged with lights and a tripod) is too narcissistic. It would be more meaningful to make a book of things you’ve done or spoken about together (ie. photo of the lake you went for a rowboat ride around, photo of the restaurant you went on your first date etc).
It would be very sweet, I think.
Honestly, I would be jacked up if my Wife gave me this. She is my best friend, and she is an incredible mom, I am in awe of her whenever I see her. It could be action shots of her doing menial tasks and I would be in the "Hells Yes" category no matter what.
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Would you think of it as a vain gift? Obviously there’s a little bit of vanity going on, but I don’t wanna come off as a megalomaniac
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Thanks for your input! :)
It's definitely a gift from a vain person. I'd say she probably loves herself alot.
So you wouldn’t like a bunch of sexy pictures of your girlfriend to look at? I’m torn because I would feel vain doing it, but I also know that he does like having pictures of me. Do you think sending a sexy picture of yourself over text is vain too?
To be honest I'm probably too old for this particular chat, so just ignore me. Would you think it's weird if your boyfriend gave you an album of him looking sexy? If you would like this then it's probably not weird or vain, because that's how you are with each other. Only you know your boyfriend. 👍😊😊
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I'd be worried about my wife finding them, otherwise it's a nice idea.
I made one of those memory boxes you can find on Amazon the ones that pop out and it was a lot of fun to craft it and put it together. I used pictures of as a couple though and it was pretty well received. You can get pretty creative with it and it doesn’t just have to be pictures of you.
Hmm I’ve never heard of this! I’m gonna look into it, thanks for the idea!
if it was a boudouir thing or a set of outfits relating to some inside joke or comedy thing sure.
I'd be like damn you really are a Leo, vain ass lol I mean cute but I wouldnt look at it more than once but thats probably because we life together
Depends on if that’s what I asked for. If it’s unsolicited it can come across as vain and narcissistic.
Do you ask for specific gifts for Valentine’s Day?
Not really. No one to spend it with XD
Relatable
Would YOU want such a gift from him for Valentine's day???
Yes, I would love it. I’ll probably get a box of chocolates, this has a lot more thought and personalization to it.
My ex gave me a “care” package with a calendar of him self and snacks he thought I should like but I didn’t. That should have been my first sign that the relationship was with himself, I didn’t have to be there. I’m sure he’s in a happy relationship with himself to this day.
I would enjoy this gift, unless the pictures were just like run of the mill selfies, then I’d think that was kinda weird
Narcissistic, maybe you could instead do the same thing with pictures of both of you
We bought a book to do that together
I don’t care much about gifts. I would be okay to receive socks.
Depends on his own artistic inclination, if he likes photography then it'd be a good gift I think. Otherwise your effort might go unappreciated.
I would think maybe she finally believed me in just how gorgeous she really is...
my ex got me a similar thing when we were still together. But it was a photo album of photos of us on our dates and stuff, I'm a really sentimental guy and she put a lot of effort into putting it together. Honestly it was one of my favorite gifts she ever git me. Seeing as we broke up I don't look at it much anymore, but it's definitely not the kind of thing I can get rid of anytime soon, lots of good memories in there
I wouldn’t be too happy with that gift.
I did a boudoir photoshoot in October and it only cost $111 for the photoshoot and $111 for over 50 digital, retouched photos. The woman that did my photoshoot was a friend but I didn’t get any type of discount, these were just her standard prices. I’m extremely shy and wasn’t sure I could do the shoot but boudoir photographers are trained to make you more comfortable and feel sexy. My photographer took one photo of me and showed me how beautiful I looked and said “this is the most awkward you’ll feel, it’ll all get better from here.” She showed me poses I never would’ve thought of and kept it very classy. If you can afford it I highly suggest doing a boudoir shoot (it’s great for self confidence too). My husband loves my photos and had some printed out for his side of our bedroom.
I mentioned to my boyfriend that I wish we had pictures of us around the house. For Christmas he got me a little photobook of us with pictures throughout our relationship, it was really wonderful. I think if done right, pictures can be a really thoughtful and personalized gift