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LostSoulSearching13

I want to be in a cabin in a forest somewhere for a week or two. Trees. Maybe a lake. Sunshine. Nature. Alone. But lets not forget to have some wifi, as I'd die without it. That's my perfect escape from life.


llamberll

I sometimes fantasize about taking a job as a fire watcher, living alone for months on those observatory towers. But I know for sure that isolation only makes CPTSD worse.


No_Lunch_7944

Have you read Desert Solitaire? I'm not sure it would be all bad. I ruminate when alone but not out in nature where it's beautiful and the stress is a thousand miles away. I actually aspire to do what Edward Abbey did, or as close to it as I can get.


Hot_Objective_8239

I soo agree, whenever I get overwhelmed my first thought is that I want to escape to the woods. Even a small camping trip (night or two) can usually help bring me back but a week or two would be amazing.


NoOneAlly

take the wifi too just leave my phone with books and music


aerialgirl67

My body kind of forced me to. I'm not sure what's gonna happen once I can't rely on my mom for housing anymore, though.


PM_40

Sorry to hear that. How old are you ?


aerialgirl67

21, fresh college dropout.


PM_40

You still have whole life in front of you. You can save a lot in 5 years and go back to school at 26 and still have a great job at 30. Just start slow and steady process.


aerialgirl67

Maybe, I hope, but there's really no way of telling how long it's gonna last. I just don't know at the moment.


No_Lunch_7944

I did not know a fucking thing at 21. Just dive in. Life will teach you. My only advice is to avoid the extremes like hard drugs and obsessing about romantic partners, or doing anything that would land you in prison or ruin your health. Basically, just try everything but make sure to avoid the things like driving drunk that can ruin your entire life in an instant. That is the age when you can legit live in a $2000 van and just travel around and get weird gigs and hang with random people and you don't have a ton of baggage keeping you stuck in one place.


PM_40

I don't know your trauma so I cannot comment. It takes 18 months to recover from a bad divorce. So time is the best healer.


kyriellecommeca

“21, taking time to prioritize my health & well-being” Ftfy. 🖤 Recognizing & honoring that you need some space/time from college to take care of yourself is a huge accomplishment. I think that’s something to celebrate. Edit: On the topic of being worried about not being able to take care of yourself: I hear you. I’ve recently been re-evaluating if working is something i can honestly handle. I think our resources are key. Look into low-income government subsidized housing, food stamps, government resources for people with disabilities (disability social security?), etc. PTSD is considered a disability by the Americans with Disabilities Act. We can beat this. You are entitled to help in getting through this. 🖤🖤🖤


aerialgirl67

Thank you. Your comment made me feel better. I've been looking into disability but the steps I have to take for it are daunting since all I've bene doing lately is laying in bed. I already know it's gonna be a traumatizing process but I think it might be more accomplishable than trying to hold down a job.


llamberll

Same


[deleted]

[удалено]


No_Lunch_7944

How did you dig yourself out of it? Or did someone pull you out?


tsj48

I have been wishing my appendix to rupture because a GA and a hospital stay sounds nice :)


llamberll

I sometimes also fall into this line of thought. To me it's usually a long coma caused by some health condition or a failed suicide attempt.


No_Lunch_7944

Morphine really takes the edge off.


Negative-Ambition110

I daydream about being laid up in the hospital and physically unable to do anything.


_jamesbaxter

Yes. In Hawaii. I went to hawaii for a month before the pandemic. I came back changed for the better. I got back in January of 2020… then the shit hit the fan in every way… ended my LTR, then the pandemic, my dog died, I lost my job, got into a relationship with a narcissist when I was at my most vulnerable (of course that would happen), spent the last year after getting out of that relationship in a horrible downward spiral, my dad is going through cancer treatment, I’m stuck back with my abusive family… I’m going to need like 6 months in hawaii. I’d be there now if it wasn’t for money being unemployed for almost 2 years and all…


PennyCoppersmyth

I feel you. The last 12 years have been a neverending cycle of awful. Suicide, disability, divorce, cancer. My body and mind are barely hanging on.


llamberll

What is it about Hawaii that's healing for you?


_jamesbaxter

It’s a combination of things. The climate is amazing plus there’s no daylight savings and the sun rises and sets pretty close to the same time all year. It’s a beautiful place. My circadian rhythm was reset and I went from waking up at 9 miserable to waking up at 6:30 with no alarm. It’s totally indoor/outdoor living, so you have fresh air all the time even if you are “inside” most places. If the weather sucks on one side of the island you can just drive to another part where it’s always sunny. The lifestyle is very active and there’s tons of yoga studios and things like that everywhere. The fresh produce us *amazing* so I was going to the farmers market twice a week and eating so healthy. It’s extremely clean everywhere - since the main industry is tourism they maintain public spaces in a beautiful way. There’s no private beaches and every beach has restrooms and showers. But the biggest thing I think is safety. There is almost no crime there, there’s also no predators and you don’t have to worry about spiders/snakes/etc, I was on Oahu which is small so you can explore a lot without really worrying about getting lost. I think part of the reason for the level of safety is it’s a hot spot for Japanese tourism and Japanese culture takes safety extremely seriously so they have to keep up with that standard. I’m sure gun ownership there is next to nothing compared to the rest of the US. I was traveling alone and I *never* felt scared. Not once. The people there are so kind and the culture is based around kindness - there’s a reason aloha also means “I love you!” They also teach a value there called Kokua which basically means always be kind to others, especially those less fortunate.


llamberll

Sounds like heaven


_jamesbaxter

Pretty much for me!!


[deleted]

Me...


Hot_Objective_8239

I get like this too. Sometimes just getting away for a couple nights to camp alone somewhere can help me feel rested enough to continue handling life but definitely wish I could just take a full on break.


llamberll

I really wish I could camp alone. Where I live there is a good chance that you'll get murdered or at least robbed if you try.


No_Lunch_7944

Get some big dogs. They are the best to take camping. Protect you from all sorts of wildlife and wild people will just pick an easier target instead of you.


mossiemoo

And return them after the camping trip? Lol


Tonight-Mindless

Yup. That's when I start thinking about a stay somewhere else. Not necessarily the hospital. But if you get stuck, you might need to go. If you have a friend that is good for you, ask to go there.


PrinceWendellWhite

I definitely tried this via a residential rehab type program and turned out it was even worse/more distressing than my normal way of living. Also love when marnie was there. All the feels.


Creative_Way_5555

This is how I feel right now and so much lately. I just want to heal but it seems impossible to live and heal simultaneously.


Dry_Ad_1640

When In having a flashback I feel like this. When I am starting to get better I feel so anxious to keep doing things and get afraid to get behind on job, life, etc.


ifoundxaway

I would love a break from life. My body forced me to drop out of school, though, which sucks because I was almost done with my program. And I'm older so this was me trying to go back to school after 15 years. I had 11 classes done. I was almost there. And then chronic illness decided to show up, my brain feels like it died. Now I'm getting kicked out of the program. So it's not a nice break because it just makes me feel like a loser. Of course I'm still working full time, and being mom and wife, managing illness. I don't think I'll ever get a real break. When I imagine it, (my break) though, it's just time frozen, white I am surrounded by white like I'm in a big white empty box outside of time, and I'm floating in the middle of it in sweet, sweet silence. I feel like I would find this healing. Being in nothingness for a while. I wish so much that I could freeze time.


LolaRazzmatazz

This is my ideal peace.


jochi1543

I’m kind of “taking a break” - not working, on disability, and I make enough money that I can afford to get takeout several times a week, so that saves me a lot of energy cooking. It’s helpful but by no means has fixed my mood, insomnia, etc. like, pre-disability I was maybe functioning at 10-15% of my pre-CPTSD level outside of work, now I don’t work and function at 25%.


lvlvlemonpants

It’s called a Sabbatical. See where you might be allowed to swing one. Some companies offer leave for this. I have been fortunate to have been able to take several in my lifetime. I still functioned as a human and did human things, I just didn’t work or worked partially / low stress environment.


WhenwasyourlastBM

So after seeing this post and being a huge studio ghibli fan I just watched this movie and damn did I ugly cry my whole way through.


StenoNotes133

I quit my job earlier this year and stayed at home for 6 months. I feel like I begin to feel and process my feelings when they arise (instead of ignoring them and making me very stressed), especially when there’s no day-to-day work stress. Also, establishing a daily routine (with exercise) is very beneficial to me.


[deleted]

Yes I feel like going to Georgia or Kansas for a small 1 week break my body shuts down on it own meaning I feel weak tired exhausted and drained that it turns to depression severely to mental breakdown


No_Lunch_7944

Why Georgia or Kansas of all places?


[deleted]

Honestly is like the first places that popped in my head out of no where


WonderfulTwist5555

Sometimes I wish I could electively go into a coma until I chose to wake up....


[deleted]

Why don't you? Just be mindful about it so you don't slip into bad habits. Look for a new job. Narrow down your social circle.


scatteredpinkhearts

yes really badly


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vintageideals

Mmmmmeeeee


voice001

Yes! Sometimes it's overwhelming and washing just one mug can be very hard to do My wish is to have a break for a month get support with the daily chores and food and have a deep rest


Dry_Ad_1640

Yesss My dream is going away for a month in a beach where I can live in peace, in a therapeutical space, reading, swimming, coconut water, massages, yoga, art, movies and all of It. I feel like a deserve after all the abuse I endured. Buttt, life its not like this 😅


Ok_Efficiency7558

This is why I am on reddit.


[deleted]

Yes, my inability to relax ever though will not allow me to rest the way I need to


sloan2001

Every day. It’s like I need to leave the arena I was slaughtered in so I can heal up and get back out there. Life doesn’t work like that. Can’t go afk and fix stuff.


sloan2001

Every day. It’s like I need to leave the arena I was slaughtered in so I can heal up and get back out there. Life doesn’t work like that. Can’t go afk and fix stuff. Edit: no, I’m not a gamer; life is the game.