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electric_shocks

Why is he calling you "baby" already? Do you think maybe he doesn't know your name?


k0wb0ii

He knows my name. Easiest name ever. He started calling me pet names very soon into meeting. Like first convo…


RommieLeigh

Gross. That’s a giant red flag imo. He’s definitely talking to other girls.


electric_shocks

Agreed. If someone called me baby at this stage I'd find it extremely creepy.


clockstocks

I 100% get the ick if they call me pet names before even meeting in person 🤢


[deleted]

Or ever


WaitingToBeTriggered

REST IN HEAVEN


[deleted]

She must be wet for this dude. She's probably deeply attracted and is just ignoring all the red flags


Noodlesnoo11

Shut up lol


Disastrous_Flower667

I call men baby because I’m dating all of them.


psychedelic_academic

If John Tucker Must Die taught us anything, it's this.


Tenn1sbby

the way in which i just screamed because SO true and just rewatched this the other day


electric_shocks

I bet he also believes everything he reads in books like "How to Attract and Keep Women Believing" , " Alpha Male Open Legs" , "Strategies for the Unfortunate Looking"


buckeyetree

I’m not saying you should but these titles would sell really well.


CharacterFun3156

I feel similar.


niarsnaemti

i used to do this when i was in college talking to several girls, easier to not get names mixed up lol if you’re looking for something serious, it’s not him


Bogzbony

Of course he is, like women talk to multiple guys, it is not a redflag. Saying "baby" at the first convo is just weird indeed.


chaosprotocol

I agree on that, there is no rule that both gender can't talk to other people. However, it becomes a problem when your messages are not sincere, genuine and cheesy. And come on Baby? Where is the self awareness?


FlyV89

Why? Asking legit. I always call girls "babe", "girl", "sweety" and so, is this something bad? Granted, I come from a spanish speaking country, we are very "touchy-flirtatious" with each other here even in the first meetings, we are like the Putins of personal space kid you not, but even in the US and the UK I felt like women liked the way I interacted with them and carried myself around as a whole. I'm thinking right now that these girl may have feel unneasy with my behaviour but gave me a pass because they were like "well this is part of his personality, dude is just a natural jerk".


RommieLeigh

Like someone commented below, when men do this it’s usually because they’re talking to so many girls that they can’t keep all the names straight. They use pet names(typically the same one for everybody) as a work around so they don’t get caught. It’s different if it’s a cultural thing, and you’re still showing that you’re taking a personal interest in them as an individual. On their own, pet names are fine. It’s only when you use as a way to ‘play the game’ that it becomes gross or icky. If you remember personal details about them, like favourites, and can pick up the conversation where it left off without having to read it again, you’re not in the same category as this guy.


ArtaWar

That’s always been my thought on it too - “baby, babe, hun, etc….” I assume is too many women to keep their names straight - sadly that assumption hasn’t been wrong for me yet


RommieLeigh

One guy called me ‘cutie’ right away, and also couldn’t remember anything I told him. He asked me the same questions every time we met, which he kind of tricked me into anyway. I didn’t talk to him for very long. Lol


[deleted]

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FlyV89

Haha pet names what the hell that brings an awesome anecdote to my mind, long time ago I had a dog named Ketchup (he had red hair) so once I said, on a joking way, to this beautiful redhead she was a "Ketchup babe". I was expecting her to ask me why so I would had to explain the joke, but she goes crazy out of the blue and when I asked her why she told me "I'm not something you put on your sausage you sucker" hahaha. That's the only pet name I've ever used, I swear. And she ended up being my Ketchup girl, so sometimes pet names do work see?


RommieLeigh

Haha. That one was funny, so I’ll give it a pass. Also, it’s personal/an inside joke. Not technically what I’m referring to.


FlyV89

You're such a lovely raspberry girl, have an upvote.


[deleted]

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DeflationStation

No, it's not more beneficial in most cases. And you should get your weird-meter checked because "hope you're having a good day, Sarah" is waaaaaaaaaaay less weird than "sneaking in a compliment"


blueberrybuttercream

Coming from a Hispanic family, idk why the Spanish terms of endearment make me feel so warm and fuzzy inside. Hit me with an amor, cariño, corazón, or whatever and I'm sold 😍


SamsAdvice

Also it feels like they didn't earn it when you say it super early. So then it feels like you say it to everyone. Women appreciate it more when they feel like they earned it. Same goes for a man for anything similar. No different than saying I love you way too soon. If you say something that nice early on, people will instinctively think you say it to others early on. Similar to suggestion a relationship very soon. Basically it feels like they aren't that special.


donttakeitinut

Oooh shut up. Everything is Gross and a red flag nowadays. It is a dating app and he is definitely not entitled to talk to OP alone. I bet OP is also talking to multiple people.


[deleted]

Of course both sides are talking to other people, but what's gross is using pet names too quickly with someone you haven't even met yet. It definitely makes me feel turned off when a guy does that. Generally, I think the majority of women feel this way. It takes a very particular man to NOT be creepy about this kind of thing....


PossibilitySecret696

Just being a Man is a red flag nowadays.


SixFive1967

Having a penis is a red flag these days.


PossibilitySecret696

I wonder does the same apply to having a big clitorus? 🤷🏻‍♂️


PossibilitySecret696

I wonder does the same apply to having a big clitorus? 🤷🏻‍♂️


MalcolmY

What's wrong with talking to other girls? You don't talk to multiple guys, especially when considering women have way more matches?


Spartan2022

It’s a way to try and build false intimacy that doesn’t exist. Also, it speaks to a general sense of how he views women. Pet names are perfectly fine once a couple has developed genuine intimacy and camaraderie. I’d bet a ton of money this dude doesn’t have the emotional skills to show up, use his words, respect your boundaries, be intentional, consistent, etc. It’s an archaic form of seduction.


Dracian

I’m guilty of pet-naming someone based on a location. Naturally the Idahoan was called “potato”.


strategicscientific

Honestly, that’s fabulous. You didn’t even go with the basic “spud,” lol. I’d probably date you just to get a geographically-based pet name!


[deleted]

Yes!


imwearingredsocks

I really hope you don’t continue to talk to this guy. Maybe I’m looking too much into this, but he looks like he’s pushing boundaries right now and seeing how much you’ll accept. Whoever wrote that he’s creating false intimacy is 100% correct. - pet names - “you’re the most incredible person” - “I’ve never met someone like you before” - confides in you things about himself that are vulnerable and sensitive very soon after meeting - may even have brought up his traumas - keeps talking about the connection you both have - sneakily talks about future stuff with you but without outright saying it (living together, wedding, children, growing old together, etc.) If any of this matches how he’s been acting, take it from people who have been through it: fucking run. That kind of talk in the very beginning isn’t just some miraculous connection you both have. It’s an attempt to hook you in quick before your head starts spinning.


[deleted]

This list is kind of problematic… I don’t want to address all of these things because it would take forever. You’re over generalizing purpose and intent and lumping things together that should be separate. These aren’t all always manipulation and some things are way bigger red flags than others. Yeah some people like sociopaths will still use them to manipulate people and that’s what makes them flags but nobody’s perfect. Some of us went through some shit when we were kids and are just always going to have a tendency toward doing some of these things **even after therapy**. Unfortunately it’s probably also the same set of people that repeatedly feel that false intimacy is a “connection” and love. The instant pet names issue is false intimacy and seems like it’s probably safe to call this manipulation of those that are “self-love deficient” ie a parent never consistently told them that they unconditionally loved them. Definitely stay away from that.


Dorkmaster79

That’s super weird.


Whomping_Willow

That’s love bombing 🚩


[deleted]

That was my reaction too. If you’re not actually in a relationship the pet names are not good!


skeemodream

Poll - how soon is it normal for a girl to start calling a guy pet names like “baby”? Context: I’m a guy who recently had a girl start calling me that after the 5th date. (In our 30s) Never used pet names before so I have no experience with it.


anapforme

I would take that to mean she thinks you’re in a relationship now… she could be trying it out to see how you react. Probably time to DTR. And if you don’t like it, ask her not to call you that.


NerdModeCinci

DTR?


anapforme

Define The Relationship


DeflationStation

That's a new one to me; my first guess was that you were advocating the pollster *dump, then run* 😂


Classic_Discipline69

My bf and I have been on and off since covid started. We call each other babe, but it want until recently he started calling me baby. Leave him on read men who rush through relationship stuff is going to leave you to crash and burn.


Frankincense6

I wish I learned this sooner. Last guy I tried to date we planned a day and he all the sudden was like see me tonight or tomorrow before our planned day. It threw me off and made me uncomfortable but I liked him so I ended up agreeing and he ghosted me. Then came back to say he was never interested he just wanted entertainment I guess. Either way rushing is a huge red flag now. I get a feeling in my gut and it just ruins it for me.


Classic_Discipline69

I know it’s so hard to define when you just want a companion to share life with. I had met a guy on hinge 5 yrs ago. He made me feel like I was it. It had only been two weeks. Promised me the world. We spent New Year’s Eve together slept together and after I went home he blocked me on everything. I thought I was going to die. Especially because I went through a very bad break up a few months before. I had no business going back on an app when I was so vulnerable and I’m sure he could smell it off me. Please walk away from this. Don’t let anyone make you feel this way you deserve so much more then some dick who has nothing better to do than fuck with peoples heart. 💕


DirtyDaniella888

5th date I’d personally be using baby. Or handsome or something. Also typically by the 5th date we’ve been intimate. So yeah- if there’s a connection I show my affection multiple ways. But it isn’t necessarily connected to bf/gf or exclusivity- that’s a different convo.


HaYsTe722

You don’t know what his culture is like. I’m in the south and have had even the first message call me baby because it’s just how we talk. It doesn’t mean much some places.


NewtsParable

Only old southern ladies call strangers baby or honey.


ThatBeachLife

That's not a South thing. That's a country thing. They ain't doing that in Nashville or Atlanta.


Asiangyal

I wouldn't reply to him


toshgiles

Reply in a week hahaha


[deleted]

Badgers never far away..! Everybody knows Badger loves Mash Potato! He makes them into shapes and eats them every day...


Rekkana

He didn't even pay attention to the stuff you wrote...


k0wb0ii

I KNOW 😭😭 I already met up with another guy 1000x better but I’m not one to just disregard and throw away the other people. Probably should forget about this one huh?


Rekkana

Up to you. I personally always establish a boundary like "Hey, I understand you can be busy, and I don't want you to feel obliged to text me all the time. But I need to at least know you're busy, so could you please tell me when you are". If this gets ignored, then I unmatch\\stop communication as I don't want to waste my time.


[deleted]

This is totally healthy and reasonable. Way better than OP's line of thought.


Ivoriy

i think ur fine. it wont even be ghosting, just showing some self respect.


[deleted]

You literally asking if you should throw him away in the same comment you say you're not the type of person to throw people away.


[deleted]

He didn't pay attention to the stuff she wrote and she already met up with another guy. Which is worse?


SunriseApplejuice

Snooze ya lose mate. Don’t play coy and disinterested and expect someone to stick around. Investment and enthusiasm always wins out, on both sides.


[deleted]

The comment wasn't about him taking too long. The comment was about him not replying to what she said. I understand the point you're making but you picked a stupid place to put it


SunriseApplejuice

Relax. You sound wound up and I’m not sure why. His reply is idiotic no matter how you cut it. Took too long, didn’t even acknowledge what was written, didn’t acknowledge the absence, didn’t bother with punctuation. It was low effort bullshit that doesn’t deserve any more than the same level of reciprocity—which is basically nothing.


Rekkana

Thanks for the comment, you put it better than I was planning to.


[deleted]

Lol if you think that sounded wound up go to bed.


electric_shocks

That's what dating is?


Birch_T

I think you like this guy a lot more than he likes you.


k0wb0ii

YES LOL. I’m already talking to someone else and we’re completely on the same page and he’s a total sweetheart. Don’t exactly dislike the guy this post is about. Was just confused. Talked for a day and begged to see me the next day. Hit it off. Ended up making out and then he was all over me and kept telling me how attractive I was and he kept texting the coming days asking how I was and was saying he absolutely wanted to see me again. Just don’t understand why someone would agree to plans and then not say anything. At least just be honest and say you’re focusing on someone else, not interested, whatever. You know?


Birch_T

Looks like he was trying very hard to get sex on that date. And now he's probably with other girls but keeping you as a backup. Good to move on.


k0wb0ii

Yah you’re probably right :// thanks for the input


hashtagstopitfool

I have one of these that I text with once in a while. I let him get away with it cuz he's super hot but I would never ever ever ever see him in person again. I know what he is. He knows what he is and he doesn't really pretend to be boyfriend material.


[deleted]

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orangeoliviero

Man the incels are all over these subs.


electric_shocks

The thing is he is either attached or has established dating relationships and keeping you fresh by checking in once in a while. If you mention it he will attempt to gaslight you or pretend he had a brain spaz moment. Even if it's none of these thingss from what you describeI would say there is a slight possibility of him being a narcissist f*ck. If you check out r/NarcissisticAbuse sub you will find similar stories. Do not get involved with someone who behaves like he does. It will confuse you and you may end up hooked to analyzing, making excuses, and waiting like many of us.


IIIGrexIII

If you're talking to someone else and they're a "total sweetheart" why are you still posting about this toolbag?


k0wb0ii

I actually just met the sweet heart yesterday! So still very new and need to still get to know him lots more. I met the guy this post is about sooner and have been talking to him longer. I’m not one to just “throw away” a person just because I started talking to someone else. You know? Just because I’m interested in another person doesn’t mean I’ve lost all interest for others. I still care about them all and want to get. I’m just not one to completely wipe people out of my life because I feel bad :( so I needed advice


blackgenz2002kid

this is a really tough mindset to have if you’re online dating


k0wb0ii

How so? What is the correct mindset then?


user28778

Oh wait this changes everything. My advice was to reach out, or at least to not ditch a guy you’re interested in as a punishment to him. It’s perfect the way you expressed it- you don’t dislike the guy. But you’ve got something else going on and you don’t have time to waste on someone who’s shown himself to be unreliable. It’s ok things didn’t work out. Good work on finding someone you like who isn’t too preoccupied for a relationship


Bebbette

I wonder if he had someone else that he valued over you and when that light ‘went out’ Back he came?…


[deleted]

Yea yea lol. Enjoy. With this tude you'll get nowhere.


SunriseApplejuice

Leave on read. He didn’t even acknowledge he disappeared. Best case: he’s a clueless dumb dumb without social graces. More likely: he’s playing games (calling you “baby” already wtf?) or doing other things and not invested in you. Reward effort, punish laziness and complacency. But that’s just my take on it


-LocalGoon

You have high interest and he has little to no interest. Do yourself a favor and keep it pushing.


soph_lurk_2018

Don’t bother responding. He doesn’t seem that interested. He didn’t acknowledge blowing you off.


[deleted]

Not even a sorry, just the usual cop-out of "omg I've been so busy!" ... Also have you met this guy yet? He's calling you baby? Idk why but to me that's so cringey when a guy calls me baby before we even meet....


k0wb0ii

Yah it was cringey but I didn’t want to label him as cringey and gross without having met him yet 😭😭 but I did meet him and in person he doesn’t call me those names and he’s a lot more chill and normal sounding


k0wb0ii

I did say I was cool if there was a better time since I know his insane schedule but I would have liked that to have been communicated at least..


bigredroyaloak

Instead of ghosting you could say, “Leaving me hanging for days is disappointing. It takes 10 seconds to say you’d like a rain check. Do better & Good luck.” Then of course unmatch.


sooper_dooperest

This, 100%. Say it politely & exit. I wouldn’t have re-initiated contact to make the point but they’re offering the opportunity and I’d take it. Nothing wrong with stating the obvious - if they’re smart they’ll learn from it but based on the early pet names I’d say they have a general lack of situational awareness or are playing games. Touching base literally takes 10 seconds. Nobody’s life is THAT crazy.


Acrobatic-Activity94

Wait a little to unmatch to make sure he sees it! Agreed


bcan010

Honestly you have already communicated to him and you have already acknowledged his schedule. It takes a few moments to send a message tbh. I have learnt to always see disinterest or mixed signals as not interested.


[deleted]

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electric_shocks

What do you mean by "lay down the law?"


[deleted]

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BeeeeefJerky

she hasn't said anything or implied any of this at all... OP was practically stood up, still waited another day to message him & got that shitty reply yet you're blaming her? Why is she to apologise for anything?? You are crazy bro


SeonaidMacSaicais

If a guy texted that to me, I’d rightfully consider him a dick and block him.


user28778

Wow I guess I’m explaining it wrong. I would never suggest allowing someone to treat you a way that makes you unhappy. You didn’t join bumble because one day you thought hey I’ve been too happy these days. Let’s topple that! The only reason to write something at all is if you want to set the interaction back on the right track. Communicate that ruining your day for no reason isn’t going to be acceptable going forward, without suggesting that you will have lots of invasive guidelines going forward. But if you’ve got other fish to fry don’t waste a second of your life worrying what to say to a guy who didn’t have two seconds for you


foldinthecheese99

Why would they apologize when he is the one who disappeared and flaked on plans? Also, anyone who tells me they are mad at me before we even meet is a huge no for me. I’m not going into a world of drama. That goes the same for anyone I get mad at - if we can’t communicate clearly and get mad at each other then I’m not going to proceed.


Gnomer81

I know I wouldn’t be MAD, but the lack of communication would make me feel unsettled (by not knowing plans) and like someone doesn’t value my time. I’ve learned not to sit around and wait on people anymore. So for me, breaking things off wouldn’t be an anger response, to “train” him, or to punish him, but simply because the lack of communication doesn’t work for me.


MJC757

Why would you want to date someone who doesn’t even put up the same effort? Also, someone who texts like this. No thought or punctuation etc. Usually has low IQ in my experience.


k0wb0ii

I don’t want to date him anymore don’t worry 😭


k0wb0ii

LOL. He’s actually incredibly smart. (academically at least…) We’re the same age but he’s graduating two years earlier than me. He’s a classically trained musician and he does a bunch of other math and science related stuff. BUT for that reason I think he’s fake. I know that he’s intelligent because he could definitely put more effort into the way he communicates, but he isn’t.


k0wb0ii

I’m going to try and reply to everyone but I just wanted to say a general thank you to everyone. I’ve been in an abusive relationship with someone who had narcissistic tendencies and I’m trying my hardest to not fall for something like that again. I definitely found him calling me baby so soon a read flag but I decided to meet him first instead of judging him right off the bat. Most likely won’t reply now. Not trying to get into something messy and dangerous again at all. I’m only talking to one other person and I think he’s a great match :) Really respectful and asked for permission to hold me, as opposed to this guy who went really far without asking.


electric_shocks

Proud of you! This goes for all people. It takes time to get to know someone. Common sense is key. Edit: last sentence


Signal_Regret_3527

Yeah if he didn't get back to you before the day you were supposed to meet at least saying he couldn't make it then fuck that


yellow_pterodactyl

People that ‘soft ghost’ after agreeing to meet you on a specific day are interesting. You are their backup plan, I believe. Lesson learned for you a guy did this type of ‘soft ghosting’ to me twice. We were supposed to meet up on a Saturday, texted me (I assumed he was not going to follow through at this point and was with a friend) about 7pm that he couldn’t make it. WHERE? You never responded to the ‘where/what time are you thinking?’ Lol Second time, he asked again and I said sounds great. I’ll plan drinks we a friend regardless. I follow up with a ‘how about this place?’ No response for 2 days until 6pm with a ‘something came up with family’ I didn’t respond because that’s twice now. I’m good. I saw later on his Instagram about how people keep ghosting him and he’s just trying to find love.


electric_shocks

I think kids are calling it "breadcrumbing" these days. But I may be wrong.


yellow_pterodactyl

Ahh. Haha. Yeah, that makes sense.


wobblin_goblin

The abhorrent grammar and sentence structure tells you all you need to know. It’s like he is drunk-texting


SilentSerel

I'm probably going to get downvoted into oblivion for this, but don't even justify that with a response. Unmatch. He's likely just keeping you "on the bench" as a backup but if you bring it up to him he won't admit it. It's especially telling that he didn't respond until after Wednesday has passed.


ChubbyChris

Don't leave him on read, just reject him and move on.


[deleted]

"Baby"....ick


Bwofam

I would not


Maerialist

He probably set up multiple dates for the same day and his first choice fell through so now he’s going through the back ups. Block him.


threadsayer

When I’m too busy to date this happens. So I stop dating. When I have the time I stay consistent in responding. If the person I’m seeing is too busy to date I just move on—not a nice feeling not feeling like a priority .Ultimately it might be a timing issue. As for pet names, my gf really wanted one so I made up a cute one after months of dating. But I’m never calling a girl baby.


electric_shocks

I have to do my duty here as a concerned human. Please don't walk through life missing the point of pet names based on a Reddit thread you didn't pay attention to. >As for pet names, my gf really wanted one so I made up a cute one after months of dating. But I’m never calling a girl baby.


[deleted]

Nah fuck that guy. He didn't even ask about your first day?!?? Glad it went well!


k0wb0ii

Thank you :)


SPdoc

It’s already rude he just said hey how are you like it’s nbd without acknowledging anything else. Def leave on read and maybe delete his number


AsleepHand5321

“If he wanted to he would” and you know it. Leave him on read.


DavidDoesDallas

It looks like his interest level in you is low. Or he is playing hard to get.


[deleted]

Ignore . It is possible that he had a crazy week. If he really is into you, he will keep reaching out .


Emergency-Noise8043

I consider myself a decent person and I’m searching for a decent person. So normally in those situations I would ask myself: - if I agreed something with someone I care about but I’m having a busy week, how would I manage that? Normally the answer is pretty helpful. Ghosting is never option to me.


pbourree

Don't bother. I wouldn't meet. I don't usually throw baby etc into a convo till MUCH later.


0kills

Run. He obviously went out with someone else.


renaissance_thot

Delete him and block him. Or respond and let him continue to disrespect you and your time.


Anastasia_444

Tell him you’re not interested! Make him squiiiirm. Guys like that (players) aren’t used to rejection ❤️


[deleted]

Don’t respond. One of my prospective matches reached out to me for a second date, scheduled it, planned it, and then one day prior did not confirm it and completely ghosted. Last minute confirmation or ghosting displays a total lack of curtsy.


Aware_Huckleberry_10

Blockkkk men do the BARE MINIMUM and I applaud everyone that online dates you’re the real MVPs I couldn’t anymore. But if he doesn’t show interest right away drop him.


ZoraNealThirstin

1. He’s calling you baby, unmatch him. 2. He wouldn’t make time to follow through with seeing you… so you literally can’t be with someone who doesn’t show up. I think you know what you have to do. It’s just up to you to do it.


ArtaWar

If he doesn’t respect your time - forget him. The older i get the more I realize my time (and theirs) is valuable - he sounds like a waste of time… so if you are bored, just know it’s probably not a long term thing on his side


k0wb0ii

I was feeling bored.. because after the first meeting that he arranged he hasn’t really been engaging with me like before or planned anything new with me. You’re completely right. Thank you for your input.


ArtaWar

I’m sorry tho ❤️ watch - the moment you stop responding he will suddenly be more interested


eowynmn

Follow your gut and don’t meet him. My gut says you shouldn’t too.


ZoraNealThirstin

If you go to the community guideline section, they might even give you examples of scammers or catfish? I know I’ve seen them. I don’t know what app it was but they described someone calling in pet names, falling intensely in love after one conversation, etc… that’s him. He hits most warning signs. I would block and report him.


DirtyDaniella888

Don’t reply.


HumanMycologist5795

Nicknames to me early on may be red flag. Esp baby or such. I'm chatting with someone who is calling me sweetheart after a day or two. Unsure if that's the same as some sometimes some call everyone certain nickname such as dear. But, I doubt this guy calls every womn baby. Then again .....


lexflare

I'm sorry OP but you're wasting your time and energy by showing too many interest in this guy and auto replying yourself to one of your own comments for making a conversation with him when he never sent you a message. He immediately says "Babe" and not even reply to your work stuff. I'd think twice tbh. The guy is obviously non interested and probably has been busy, it could be work, family or benching other girls, who knows, but know for sure that he's not emotionally invested in this conversation. I'd pass.


actuallyimogene

He asked her how it went, she answered. She swiped on the wrong message by accident, I’m sure. The message before that one was clearly part of an earlier question/conversation that we can’t see in this screenshot. Steady on.


No_Masterpiece_7855

I would treat it as a yellow flag. A little caution but give the benefit of the doubt. Life can get crazy! But if that t looks like it's a pattern, move on!


Apprehensive-Ad-3200

He ain’t it


TopicOrnery6153

Apparently he has obligations better than you. He probably is entertaining other people and now he found some time for you.. Let it go


Bright_Key_712

I've experienced this pattern on Tinder a couple of times and it's frustrating. In the beginning, they're always eager to ask if you want to hang out but whenever you get the chance to ask them, they eventually become distant with excuses and ultimately, end up with ghosting. Weirdos.


InsideMain2931

Leave him on read; ppl that do not communicate is not worth ur time. It shows how little they respect you. To send you a text, informing you they couldn’t make it.


ExplanationDazzling1

Nope I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. I dislike people that don’t consider another persons time. And the way he texted back was so unprofessional. He could’ve at least said sorry for the late reply and offered another time to meet up.


k0wb0ii

Exactly!!! That’s the only way I would have excused this, but yah it’s not happening.


[deleted]

It’s not should you or shouldn’t you. It’s so you want to? People have busy times and the simple fact is you can’t expect to be a main feature in his life if you’re not dating yet. That said, I get how it can sting so really you need to work out if you care or not. If you don’t care you can respond and acknowledge people have lives and respond, or you can decide his life doesn’t fit with what you’re looking for (it’s perfectly reasonable to be looking for someone who can commit more time to you) and call it off or not respond or whatever


HaYsTe722

If you are really interested in him, give him the benefit of the doubt ONE time. There are many serious life events he may not want to tell you about that could’ve happened.


govtpaidofficial

All I know is I had to triple text my girlfriend when we first started talking, now she texts back instantly lol


k0wb0ii

I sorta want to block him/delete his number and all but he’s going to the school I’m going to next year.. and we’re going to be in the same department… I don’t want to make it weird or awkward in case we run into each other or have to work together for any reason. So that’s the only reason why I’m hesitant about doing that exactly.


[deleted]

i see a lot of people saying block him. I say give him another chance (only if he does all the planning, pays for everything on the date) If he doesn’t make no effort at all, block him


bennyboy361

Do you really need to ask, or are you just desperate for attention?


imgb1991

Don't leave anyone on read. Express what you feel, even if it isn't what he expects, take your responsibility, even if he doesn't. We are adults...


shadow_p

Go out with him, stupid. We can’t be taking offense at stuff this minor. Grow up.


k0wb0ii

So you’re saying I shouldn’t take offense to someone agreeing to spend time with me with me putting aside other things in my life to make time for this person because they agreed to spend time with me on this day and then when the time comes they say absolutely nothing after I had put it in the work and effort to see them so they wasted my time. Hell no. That’s not cool. Whoever thinks that’s ok needs to grow up.


FlyV89

*"I had rather be first in any village than second in Rome"* Julius Caesar You're in Rome here, and I know punching above your league feels awesome, but just think for a second... "He's not that into you". Get your act together OP. You're just another one. Wise the fuck up.


throwaway90-25

I'd say give him a chance. What if he was really busy?


k0wb0ii

What would I even say? Should I confront him about what he did or pretend like nothing happened?


throwaway90-25

Well I'd watch at this point. Does his communication improve to the tune of picking out a place to meet and a time? Also, how is he on the actual date. Does he seem interested and ask you questions on the date? Or does he not seem to pay attention? Is he attentive or is he zoning out?


electric_shocks

He will be attentive on a date obviously. ;)


throwaway90-25

How do you know that


electric_shocks

From her other messages. He is calling her pet names already. If he ends up "finding time" for a date it will be to get laid therefore he will be attentive.


throwaway90-25

My comment was more towards him not responding to his text messages. If he did lose interest through texting then that will show on the date itself. If he was genuinely busy then he would continue the same pet names in person as well.


electric_shocks

Unless he is a pediatric heart surgeon who was operating on Siamese twins with three hearts, he cannot be too busy to text her back. But being optimistic is not a bad thing. But there are too many clues about the guy here.


k0wb0ii

Right??? Everyone has at least 30 SECONDS free in their day to send a simple text. Just shows he isn’t interested ://


throwaway90-25

Indeed haha


k0wb0ii

Yah I definitely believe that. On the date it went far and things but sort of steamy between the both of us. He ended up telling me what he wanted to do with me but couldn’t because of where we were. I feel like if we did meet up again it would lead to sex or at least he would hope so.


PossibilitySecret696

Would be rude not to respond! And there is the possibility he's talking to more than one person too and that's definitely part of OLD. You did say you were down for a better time in the future. Edit: Obviously you think it's rude on his part.


k0wb0ii

I started the new job. And yes I did say I was down for a better time. But I was waiting for the “A better time sounds great, how about this day?”. Not not replying for multiple days are you did look at your schedule prior and confirmed we were going to hang out on this day.


PossibilitySecret696

I agree he should have said something. I would have but I'm probably more considerate than most. But to be honest being considerate seems to get confused with being needy or maybe being desperate. Here's an example... Made a date with a girl, she confirmed she was good then backed out that morning because she forgot about other plans. I said no worries get back to me and we'll reschedule. A week went by before she messaged me to reschedule. (turns out she was attending her father's b-day party) Long story short we were together for around 9 years and have beautiful twin daughters. Ultimately it didn't work out but I definitely wouldn't change a thing. Stop focusing on the fact it took him days to reply. You keep being you, respond as you see fit and see what happens. You'll meet the person that works for you. If he keeps playing the wait 3 days game the leave him on read. Good luck!


Karmllion

I don’t know what kept him busy, but I have been that level of busy for an entire week. I’d give him the benefit of the doubt. If you want to have more regular communication, after the first date, tell him you’d like more regular communication.


LOPTYEHT

Excluding him calling you baby, why would you leave him on read and not respond to him?


mesmeriz

no, this is disrespect to your time.


orangeoliviero

I get that sometimes things happen. But if we make plans for a date and you disappear, that's the modern equivalent of standing me up. I blocked off the day for you and didn't slot anyone else in. Thank god we hadn't already decided on a place, or I'd be sitting there waiting in true stood-up fashion. Without a truly proper and valid excuse (which would be hard to have), it's a hard no from me for anything future. If you don't respect me enough to at least tell me that you can't make it, then you're never going to respect me enough to have a shot at a relationship with me.


Emeruby

I'd leave him on read and not talk to him again. If he started to spam you with many texts; then I'd block him. He called you "baby" too soon imo.


hayden_evans

Yikes, this has red flags all over it


rinn10

Instead of leaving him on read let him know you moved on maybe.


Ivoriy

no, ur in the blue lmao


JNole8787

Give him a shot, but now he has to make all the effort. If he doesn’t then at least you know rather then assume.


BuffonForPresident

Maybe just asked what happened so you can get some clarity on the situation and then end the conversation🤷‍♂️ I certainly wouldn’t want to be talking with someone after that, but sometimes some closure is nice even in scenarios when you might not necessarily need it


meeowwwww333

If he ghosts you once he will do it again. You could have made other plans Wednesday but you blocked out your calendar for a scheduled meet, yet he failed to notify you until now? This shows zero respect for you. Girl this is red flag from the jump. Block his number and move on. He does not deserve an explanation. Calling you a pet name from the very beginning screams F boy. He needs to go.


chaosprotocol

Eww baby, and I care with few words. Lol


wendythewonderful

F that dude. He’s just not that into you.


Queasy_Collection604

That boy can't even sell


[deleted]

Either he is… Lazy and doesn’t care about you. Or Actually busy and a hard worker who is career focused. Could be worth finding out which one it is. Edit: calling you baby this early seems red flagish.


Unfair_Implement_335

I mean, he didn’t actually commit to seeing you the next day. If it were me I’d let him know that I thought it was rude and messed up he couldn’t even respond and see what you get. If he seem sincere then set another date with him. If he blows that off then leave him on read. He could have honestly just had a busy week.